Paradise Lost
by Vermillion Lynn
Summary: A schizophrenic megalomaniac straddles both worlds indignantly; pining over a ghost who can never return and sparking a war between Batman and the Joker unlike any other.
1. Chapter 1: Minx

**A/N: Okay so this lovely joyride took me almost a year to complete and though it will be lengthy I swear it will not disappoint. I'm never one to brag but this work in particular I am extremely proud of and have watched the Dark Knight to study characterization far more than the healthy limit. There are things that happen in this story which will disturb, possibly make you laugh, and maybe even cry because if anyone has read from me they know I'm a fiend for the dramatics :). The title of this story stemmed from the epic poem of the exact title by John Milton. I present both Batman and the Joker in a way I feel is most true to their nature and may even surprise you with their actions, so I hope this is as thoroughly enjoyed as I have enjoyed my year writing this. I will answer any questions when posed if it won't give away the plot, and I do ask for patience because I guarantee every single question is answered sooner or later within the story. Most likely you and the other characters all have the same questions :P. Anyway, it's finally here, happy reading. It's going to be a very long bumpy ride! xoxo -Vermi **

_**Paradise Lost**_

The lone click of high heels along concrete was the only sound that could be heard as Detective Patricia Fisico steadily made her way down the lower east side of Manhattan past two in the morning. Her usually chocolate hair was covered by an auburn shoulder-length wig and her caramel eyes wore green contact lenses to compliment her prostitute getup. Her gun was hidden under her long brown coat and her partner stood nearby speaking to her through a small microphone in her ear.

…

Splayed out in the black Chrysler was a huge map of the east side of Manhattan with red dots triangulating a pattern of locations by Detective Randall Viper, using only a small flashlight to keep his location hidden as he traced Patricia's route. The headlights were off as was the engine, leaving Viper in uncomfortable silence as several night-crawlers passed his parked vehicle, eyeballing it suspiciously.

Taking a deep breath and lifting the New York Times which headlined, 'Minx-Jinxed: Absconds with Seven Million in Soho', Viper's beady blue eyes narrowed at the best shot photographers managed to nail of a small female in a black lycra/spandex skintight romper with flirty faux-fur trimmings at the wrists and hood, and a plunge zipper which was undone straight down her large chest all the way to her navel. A long life-like cat tail curled inward on its own while feline claws which seemed to grow out of her very bare hands extended pretentiously as she glared directly at the photographer; posing. Her straight, lengthy raven hair contrasted her icy skin while glowing eyes pierced right through the camera.

"Bitch" he grumbled at the young woman pictured, but forgot that the handheld microphone was still on and Patricia heard him.

"Excuse me?" her Canadian accent replied sharply, keeping close to a graffiti-covered brick wall before turning to the right and heading down a different avenue, "I don't think the rest of Manhattan heard ya, Randall"

"Oh no no, sorry not you! Not you!" Viper cringed while clenching his teeth; secretly damning himself for the idiot move, "Just keep moving"

"Well, I think I'd like to know-"

"Minx…is that enough for you?"

"Why? You see her?" Patricia asked while keeping a single hand over the spot under her coat where her gun was rested.

"No" tossing aside the article and re-evaluating the map he tried to figure out her location, "Where are you?"

"Clinton and East Broadway" Patricia curled her lips while checking the signs above her head.

"Make a left"

With an eye roll Patricia headed in that very direction, "I know where I'm going"

"Oh really?" he raised his eyebrows with a wry smirk, "And what brings you to that conclusion?"

"Because cats hate water, Minx won't be within a hundred feet of the Hudson"

"She's not running shit or they'd never allow her picture to be taken so easily"

"She was POSING, Randall" Patricia spat while heading down a few side streets and ignoring any movement from drug dealers and homeless, "She WANTED that picture to go public"

"She's smoking hot, why hide it from the population?"

"And I'm gonna turn my mic off now, bye" Patricia groaned, and with a click Viper was out of her ear.

Sighing and letting the wind lift her wig off her shoulders a bit, Patricia continued her route when she heard a soft, high-pitched feminine giggle followed by a thick Italian accent. Immediately she kept close to the wall and followed the sound, navigating through the shadows to get to the narrow passage between torn-down residential buildings where the petite, sweet-voiced Minx actually purred like a real cat and approached the older, fine suit-wearing Italian man. The feline was so short she didn't even clear five feet with those boots on.

"Minxy…" exhaling, the mob leader ran a hand down a hip-length piece of raven while staring deep into the piercing ice-blue eyes with feline slits for pupils which glowed from underneath her raised hood, "you know I'm good for it, when have I ever blown you off?"

"My boss thinks differently" she chirped with a slight giggle; tracing a claw down his chest and snipping the buttons off his suit, slowly backing him against the far wall.

"Well" he chuckled faintly, pulling at his neck collar nervously, "I mean, who sees your boss, Minxy? He don't even live in this city"

"Uh uh uh…!" the claw moved from his chest to his nose and she slowly shook her head, puffing her disproportionately massive chest out and smirking though he couldn't see her shadowed lips, "Let's not talk like that, sillybuns…okay?"

"Minx" both his hands went up and a cold sweat trickled down his face, "I got your money, alright? I got it all for ya; I told ya where to go"

"And my friends are checkin' it out so I know your boys aren't gonna double-cross us" she nodded while poking her tongue between her teeth, tantalizingly running a claw close to his eye sockets when Patricia turned her back and whispered harshly.

"Call for backup I've got Minx and Ervolino right here!"

"Where are you, Fisico?"

"Ahhh…" clenching her teeth she looked for street signs and swallowed hard, "I'm in an alley between fourth and Stevens, hurry! They're talking about the armed robbery in Soho!"

"Minx herself came out of that empty-handed" Viper replied while staring at the headline photo and starting the engine, "but I knew Ervolino had something to do with all that. His record was too clean for a while; it was starting to rattle my cage"

"Well hurry up, they're not stationary!"

"Over and out" Viper picked up his radio receiver to get every cop in Manhattan to help Patricia right on scene.

"Minxy, when have I ever done the big man wrong, huh?" Ervolino continued to bargain with her.

"Whoop-dee-damn-ding-dong!" her claws dug deep into his tailored suit, "Grovel to someone who gives a fuck."

A shadow loomed over the entire alley so naturally Patricia whipped her handgun out and held it close by, pressing her back to a brick wall and shivering.

The only illumination became Minx's icy glowing eyes as she made a purring sound before slinking into the shadows. Shivering, Ervolino felt all over his front and panicked.

"Minx?" his head whipped about in fear, "Minxy? Minxy you BITCH stop" his breath was stole as a large hand grabbed his throat, the light returning so he could face a burly man whose face was hidden by a clown mask. Patricia gasped, scrambling for her digital camera when she realized the alley was too dark to get the right shot without a flash going off, which would blow her cover for sure. "Hey! Tell your lackey to put me damn down!" Ervolino panicked, gasping for air as his face became red from lack of oxygen, "I ahh…"

"What?" Minx giggled from a distance, floating a good ten feet in the air and giggling as she did so, "You what you what you what?"

"Minx!" Ervolino gagged.

"Hey!" the lackey in the mask turned and shook his head at her paternally, "Get lost before you hurt yourself"

Ervolino raised an eyebrow as Minx landed; giggling manically when moments later his best men were tossed to the ground as if they were weightless by a group of other men in clown masks armed with heavy artillery.

"They're heavier than they look" one of the masked goons ribbed while pulling a purring Minx under an arm, sheepishly awaiting the man holding Ervolino's reaction when police sirens cut them off.

Exchanging glances with the rest, one of the men whined, "Already?"

With a scowl, the chubby one who had Ervolino faced Minx disappointedly and shook his head, "We need a muzzle on that one"

"FUCK you, mojito!" Minx hissed exactly like a feral cat when the masked men alternated with who shot what prisoner dead before the guy with his hand on Ervolino's throat glared at the others.

"Let me deal with THIS one"

"OW!" Minx yelped as she was grabbed by the tail and a bullet was fired their way along with a shit-ton of police vehicles skidding to a stop right on location. Patricia's disguise came off and she shouted to the group.

"POLICE! DROP YOUR WEAPON AND COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"

Taking a moment to prepare, the line of masked men stepped forwards towards the onslaught of police and the little woman holding the gun with their hands in the air.

"DROP YOUR WEAPONS!" a cop shouted through a bullhorn and they all did so, just standing there when from underneath each vehicle came a massive explosion killing each and every officer except the young detective duo immediately, for Viper had found Patricia and pulled her into the alley just as the gust of flames appeared from under the parked cars. The group then disappeared once they admired their victory, leaving Patricia and Viper to gasp in horror at the result of their planned bust.

…

A large color photograph of Minx laughing over flame and burning police vehicles was slammed to the table so hard that Patricia gasped and backed a step, being steadied by her partner as the Chief glared at them hatefully through his glasses. Pinching his nose for a second and curling his lips in, Viper nodded along before holding up a hand.

"Look…" Viper exhaled calmly as not to excite the room full of officials with their arms folded across their chests, "you sent us out to track Minx…" he swallowed hard as Patricia's eyes glossed over from fright at what could possibly spew from his mouth that she'd have to bail him out of, "and we found her"

"And lost twenty-five cops in the process!" the Chief roared, "Your ONE assignment for MONTHS has been to track down Minx and that gang of masked murderers!"

Patricia finally spoke up to her partner's defense, "There's A LOT of them!"

"And they wear masks and carry heavy artillery we KNEW all this, Fisico!" the Chief denounced her potential finding, "I didn't send you out to PISS them off!"

"What would it matter?" Viper snapped with a slight sneer, "How possible do you think it is to physically stop them when they've got people brainwashed into turning themselves in to vindicate the organization?"

Though his face hadn't regained any of its natural color, the Chief's voice dropped low, "Maroni's men in Gotham were able to turn"

"Oh! And look what happened to them!" Viper's voice rose accidentally, "They're all DEAD because they trusted that anarchist psychopath—Minx doesn't actually KILL her employees!"

"Mind explaining Ervolino?" the Lieutenant slapped a photograph of the slain mob leader, "You were saying" his eyes lifted to Viper's, "Master Viper?"

"Ervolino tried to double-cross Minx and she called her buddies for backup" Viper spoke up when Patricia's head whipped to his and she ripped her Chanel glasses off her head ready to kill.

"Really?" the Lieutenant snapped at Patricia, "You know where their hideout is? You know their real names? You're aware of how long it is going to take to return the city's faith in law enforcement because you decided it was okay to let that freak brigade make a barbecue out of our best men?"

"You KNEW the risks" Viper snarled when the Chief charged from behind the desk and grabbed the scruff of his neck, "We were told to come for MINX and ERVOLINO! NEITHER have the ability to turn an entire police force into a pile of ash!"

"I want this madness to end" the Chief glared at the duo, "and by the way things with you two are going this is obviously too much to ask from two of the city's finest agents"

"She's fucking superpowered what do you want us to DO?" Viper growled, "I'll go roll around in radioactive paste if you'd like!"

"Randall!" Patricia hissed to make him shut up, but Viper had blown his top.

"How can two ordinary cops come after these freaks? They're obviously out for a lot more than money, they haven't spent a god damn dime of it; they're simply hoarding to piss us the fuck off! We're in shark-filled waters here with these sick-minded fucks who obviously want a lot more than seven million dollars from the people of New York!"

"They could murder every elected official in this city and get away with it scot-free; that's power you can't buy" Patricia spoke up again, looking the room of angry men in the eye, "Minx obviously wants a lot more than money"

"She wants control" Viper finished the sentence, "Control of what, obviously no one knows jack…but between you and me, this shit is way beyond our grasp-beyond anyone's grasp."

"Not anyone" the Lieutenant shook his head stiffly before facing the room, "Once this gets to the Commissioner I suggest a conference…" lastly Patricia and Viper received a nod, "this truly is out of your hands, guys. Turn in your guns and badges, then get out of my sight."

…

As a bleary-eyed Patricia wrapped in a cream-colored fleece blanket made her way to the couch in her twin sister's Park Avenue penthouse with a steaming mug in hand, her tiny twin with hip-length raven hair frowned and extended an arm towards her.

"Nawwww my Trisha Anne…" her plump lips pouted as a sniffling Trish plopped next to her and stared into the crystal coffee table, "you gotted fired."

"Can it, Meem" Trish snapped before taking a sip of her mug, ignoring her tiny twin's manicured nails playing with her thick chocolate hair, "It's not fair."

"Did they fire fagtown?"

"Yes" dipping her head to rest on her icy-skinned sister's shoulder, Trish frowned.

Soaking that thought for a moment, Mindy nodded with pursed lips, "Then it is fair."

"MEEM!" pulling her head up and shaking her head at her sister, Trish pouted, "I came here for…" she moved her hand in a circular motion while crying, "moral support, ya know?"

"Ohhh" Mindy took in a deep breath and sighed, "yes. I understand. Nobody likes stupid Lurch anyway-"

"HEY!"

"What?"

"S-" she short-circuited, "Stop calling him that!"

"But why, Trisha Anne?" her lips pouted and she frowned innocently, "I only speak truth"

"Then call him by his REAL name, Meemsicle."

"Not my fault you married Victor Frankenstein's ugly brother"

"Speaking of…" frowning, Trish glanced about, "how are you dealing with-"

Mindy glanced about with a shrug, "I do not care."

"I still can't believe he's been dead for so long now" Trish frowned and followed her sister off the couch and all the way upstairs into the master bedroom, where Mindy's eyes bugged out at the faux-fur trimmed black romper with a hood and long cat tail lying on the ivory carpet.

"Well…" sighing and kicking the outfit under the lavender comforter of the king-sized bed, Mindy clamped a hand in her hair and swallowed hard. She naturally extended her own nails into cat claws to fix her slightly tangled mass of straightened raven hair before Trish appeared behind her and the claws retracted so she couldn't see, "Would ya like to go out and dig him up wherever he may lie?"

"I suppose I could…" Trish sighed, "Being that I'm on unemployment anyway until-"

"Ohhh Trisha Anne" Mindy sighed while double-checking to make sure her catsuit was under the bed before following her twin out, "well you could always take MY place"

Trish snickered while going downstairs to pour herself yet another cup of tea, "I don't think so, Meemsicle. You've kinda got me one-upped"

"Oh Trisha Anne, singing is easy I could always teach you"

"You're a prodigy, Meem" Trish rolled her eyes before sitting on the black granite counter by the steel sink, "No way could I fill your shoes."

"I got a concert in Gotham soon if you wanna be my road bitch" Mindy smiled warmly, approaching a wall of glass which overlooked Central Park, "I can use the company now that you are on the food stamp line"

"Seriously Meem, if I get ONE MORE unemployment joke from you I'm gonna-"

"Ha, I love you Trisha Anne. Just do not bring Ronald anywhere I hate him."


	2. Chapter 2: A Little Heavy Handed

**A/N: Thank you! xoxo Vermi**

"Commissioner!" Viper shouted as the New York City Police Commissioner, Tom Warnet, bustled through the department with thick files in hand heading towards the back where his private office was located. Viper, naturally, was on his heels yipping like a small dog about him and his partner being fired, "Commissioner! How could you allow this to pass? How could you let this happen? Fisico and I are the best you've GOT!"

Ignoring him Warnet entered his office, slammed the thick files to his cluttered desk, and glared at the volatile young man. Of course Viper didn't take the hint to leave, and he was pacing like a caged animal while pointing a finger at his former boss.

"Fisico and I have put in almost seven years now of sweeping these god damn streets for ONE SLIP-"

"That 'one slip' was twenty-five of New York's finest!" Warnet replied coldly, taking Viper aback, "You blindly lead Fisico into a trap and call for backup without setting foot onto the scene yourself! You're lucky I haven't decided to list you as an accomplice"

"I did NOTHING!" Viper growled, clenching his fists and barring his teeth, "I waited on-location triangulating her route to find Minx AND, just as I suspected but of course nobody believed me, Ervolino in conflict over the Wachovia robbery in Soho! Fisico ordered for backup-"

"She's a WOMAN, she should not have been out there all by herself!" Warnet placed the phone to his ear and held down a button to reach his secretary, "Sandra, get me Mayor Bloomberg on the phone in five to discuss the proposed conference."

"Right away, Commissioner" Sandra's voice replied back before Warnet hung up to shoot Viper the evil eye.

"I suggest you leave now before I have you arrested on-site."

"No! Commissioner, this is BULLSHIT! I will NOT be denied a right to plead my case I've been breaking my BACK working late nights, weekends, holidays with a fuckin' smile on my face and a skip in my step! This job—this CAUSE that I stand for is everything to me! How could you just swipe seven years of protecting the city under the rug?"

"You specialize in infiltration…" Warnet scowled and balled a fist, "You should have known better than to send a woman Fisico's size into the lower east side through dangerous alleys and corridors all by herself while YOU 'triangulate'-"

"I was speaking to her through a mic, alright? Why are you firing HER too?"

Rubbing his temples and groaning, Warnet took a long breath before glancing up at Viper.

"She's your partner therefore just as guilty as you. Only she's got a good head on her shoulders and knows when to QUIT"

"Her baby sister's Mindy fuckin' Stratus she doesn't HAVE my financial background! Fisico could never work a day in her life and still"

"SO this is all about money for you, isn't it, Viper?"

"Not at all, I-"

"Because there's twenty-five families with no way of having an income at all…why don't you call them up and see what they think of your high-class woes"

"You're not being FAIR"

"I'm doing what's best to protect my city" two men showed up in uniform and grabbed Viper by both his arms to escort him out, "And I'm starting with YOU."

With that Viper was dragged out of the building as Warnet got Bloomberg on the phone.

…

"It's bullshit" Trish flopped back on one of Mindy's modern pink couches next to a roaring fire and a giant plasma-screen TV playing 'Steel Magnolias' along with tons of boxes of Russian chocolate and tea.

Mindy's funky cordless house phone was held to her ear as her sister was all the way upstairs in her bedroom fixing her massive DD chest in her Minx romper, pulling the zipper to her navel and hiking the knee-high black boots onto her feet when her six-year-old daughter Amber ran a brush through her hair to make sure the freshly-straightened strands stayed smooth.

"We didn't do anything morally 'wrong'"

…

"I know" Viper responded from his shitty two-roomed apartment, scratching the back of his head while trying to scrape macaroni and cheese out of the dirty pan, "But I already spoke to him, his mind is set."

…

"But WHY?" Trish sniffled and popped a truffle in her mouth, "Why would he do that?" she chewed and swallowed, Viper actually smirking on the other end as he heard her chew, "I mean," she shrugged, "we're the best he's got! We got Cosenzo and Mercatanti! We-"

…

"Trish…" shoveling a spoon of macaroni in his mouth and sitting on his ratty green couch he nodded, "I know. It's not fair, but what can we do?"

…

"Well" sniffling and eating yet another truffle, Trish frowned, "M-maybe we can go after Minx ourselves…"

From her bedroom while applying her deep red lipstick Mindy's eyebrow rose amusedly, and she exchanged glances with her eldest child.

"Find a way to stop her…get Minx to talk or something"

…

"Trish…" he laughed a bit and waved her off, "I don't know what you're saying exactly, but I am NOT the making of a great vigilante. I just want my job back"

…

"But" she pouted her plump lips and frowned, "We may not be able to do that unless we can prove to Warnet that we're capable of-"

…

"But Trish…" he sighed with a shake of the head, "we're not. We're ordinary people. I know you saw those cars light up like the Rockefeller tree. If they're capable of THAT-"

…

"Ugh" she groaned while staring at the late sunset, "I would love to just shoot the bitch."

"Super-HOT bitch"

"Randall…"

"She can rake those nails down my back anytime"

"I'm hanging up now" she rolled her eyes as he chuckled darkly for a moment, "You're gross."

"Can't be worse than the loser you married"

"RANDALL!" Trish squealed, giggling oblivious to her twin sister slinking down the stairs in a long red coat looking absolutely glamorous. The click of Mindy's boots to the floor made Trish's head turn and her brow furrow. "Meemy?"

"I got a date" Mindy groaned with an eye roll, sliding a finger across her throat.

"Seriously Meem" Trish narrowed her eyes with a headshake.

Mindy shrugged; opening the door and grabbing her purse, "I will be back eventually."

"Key word 'eventually'" Trish groaned while pointing a maternal finger at her sister, "Don't do anything I wouldn't!"

"Of course not…enjoy your RIVETING conversation with Fagtown" Mindy smirked on her way out, leaving Trish on the phone with Viper again.

"Sorry, pest control"

"How is the pop tart?"

"Oh come now, you can't still be bitter over that retarded nickname…?"

"Damn right I am."

…

Double-taking between the glass doors she had just strolled out of and the next couple street blocks, Mindy took a deep breath and headed to the right when she was grabbed around the neck and slammed to a stone wall between her building and another.

"FUCK!" her claws extended and just as she growled like a tigress to slash across the face of her attacker, her hand was grabbed and bent backwards to the point that it almost broke off.

"Minxy, cut it out" that familiar deep voice caught her attention and she ceased struggling.

Catching her breath and staring at the big chunky man in the clown mask for a long moment, Mindy groaned and allowed her head to loll against the smooth stone with a pout.

"Schmuck" shaking her head with a sigh she tried to reclaim her wrist but was refused such a thing. "Let GO, buttercup" she hissed while wriggling her wrist around in his grasp, "I got it leave me be."

"Minxy, you know I can't do that" the man shook his head and dragged her off.

"HEY! Jerk! Tommy! Stop it! Let me go! I can do it I can walk!"

…

By her arm Mindy was dragged deep underground into the subway, shooting Tommy a scowl while stripping her coat away so her long black lifelike cat tail could curl in as she chucked the coat into another man in a clown mask's chest.

"That goumada better stay out of my way" she shook her head with a heavy sigh, "Or I will Falcon punch—OW!"

Immediately she was shoved against the slimy wall with nails digging into her throat.

"You keep running that mouth and she'll open that face right up" he hissed in a voice so frightening Minx had to nod along and catch her breath before reaching a clawed hand up to rub the sides of her mouth.

He roughly released his hold on her throat and another guy held her coat over his arm, which confused her as to why they were in a subway during rush hour and no one had picked up on them just chilling right by the turnstiles. In a bit of a panic, she lifted her fur-trimmed hood over her head so only the ice-blue cat eyes glowed underneath. He grabbed her wrist and dragged her deeper into the station, simply walking by people as if they were invisible.

Again this made Minx raise an eyebrow, "Did Helen Keller cast a magic spell over the city?"

"Nope" he responded shortly, "just shows the haplessness of society."

"Hmm…" her lips curled in irritably, "I wonder who taught ya that one."

"You be quiet" he shook his head, "Just 'cause the boss don't like you"

"OH trust me…!" her eyes got bigger, "I am well-aware…"

"Then why the hell are you goin' to Gotham; what's there for you?"

"Because if I have bunny-boiler one more time tellin' me what to do I'm a' shove my claws where they don't belong" she sighed with a slight shake of the head, pulling her lengthy raven hair out of the hood so it hung to her hips on the sides; her entire large chest busting out of the opened romper/catsuit. "Does she like" she wrinkled her nose though no one could see it, "have a clue? Like" she tried to find the words but shrugged, "does she realize he is just using her like an intern? Or…?"

"Unlike YOU-"

"Fuck YOU" she spat with a shake of the head, "fuck you hard. I got five fucking kids, alright?"

"So traveling halfway across the country to Gotham is supposed to help that situation?"

She wrinkled her nose in disgust, "If I can talk 'Mistah J' to off his goumada before she starts going for me and my babies?"

"What makes you think that's anything special?"

Her lips curled and she grit her teeth.

Donning a full-body black and red leather catsuit with flowing mid-length loosely curled blonde hair and a black eye-mask over her painted white face was Harley Quinn; her lips coated with black lipstick pulled into a smirk. She towered over pint-sized Minx, dangling a gun loosely in her hand.

"What's new, pussycat?" she giggled at the look of utter disgust on Minx's face, "Catch your dinner yet?"

"Bald eagle" she grumbled.

"Ooooo I don't know about that, Miss Kitty…" she grimaced while sticking her tongue between her teeth, pacing around Minx like she was a piece of meat, "And what have YOU been doing while I slaved over setting up your last job here-"

"I thought I covered that last night…?" Minx's eyes narrowed when Harley laughed and pointed at her.

"YOU?" she tried to catch her breath but it was so hard, "accomplishing something last night? HAH!" she glared at the tiny little sex kitten, "Once my Puddin' finds out how much you screwed up-"

"I woulda had Ervolino singin' like a god damn canary if you putz's did not get involved"

"Really now?" Tommy's voice hardened at her, "Is that why your sister and Viper are on our case?"

"Trisha Anne and Fagtown are FIRED" Minx scowled, "F-I-R-E-D! FIRED! SCHMUCK!"

The lights all shut around them and Minx yelped, though her night vision helped her slightly ease…that didn't help any of the people going about their business at the station. The trains were still running, but there was a bit of a panic to get onto the train now that the power was cut.

"Ohhhh" Harley shook her head slowly, "You REALLY did it now, Miss Kitty!"

"Excuse me?"

"Shut up!" Tommy hissed at Minx warningly, "I can't bail you out of everything, idiot."

"Remember" Minx raised a clawed hand and tapped Tommy's chest, "I can fly and you cannot"

"Yoohoo! Pussycat!" Harley tugged on Minx's tail and the feline hissed dangerously, "WHOA!" she reached out and smacked Minx in the face, "BAD kitty! BAD!"

"Hit me again and-" Minx snarled and Harley was right in her face waving the gun.

"What? Or what? Whatcha gonna do, kittyboo?" Harley aimed the gun at Minx's head before pointing to the subway car with a scowl, "You wanna keep drinkin' milk outta my bowl you gotta take that train out and everyone in it."

Minx's eyes widened and she squirmed.

"Get moving, pussycat!" she held up a stopwatch with a twisted grin, "You're on borrowed time now."

"Jesus, son of a Christ" with a feline growl Minx hovered about three feet in the air and flew after the train which just departed from the station into the black tunnel.

Tommy glanced about at the people in the station, double-taking between the still-panicking citizens and the smug Harley Quinn watching it all with a huge smile before pressing a button located on Harley's hip and sending wreaths of flame throughout the station, setting the entire area ablaze and sizzling all within his line of vision.

"HEY!" Harley whined and spun around to face him, "What's the big deal, bucko? You like her or somethin'? What is this?"

"Bossman don't want her dead," he told her stiffly while the rest of the masked men stood by, "and you know it. That train is set to blow, you sent the kid to her death."

"So WHAT?" she shrugged nastily and huffed, "He wanted to keep her alive he shoulda said something"

"That's the deal with Joker, Quinn…" he shook his head and watched that tunnel warily, "You kill her for all you know he had one of us strap a bomb under your shoe"

"WHAT?" she gasped and checked below her feet as the men laughed, "OH!" she snapped back up and pouted, "Very FUNNY!"

…

A line of flames blasted at the speed of light through the tunnel until it hitched the back of the train, making Minx yelp and jump up top. She watched with great interest as the flames spread along the metal train underneath, causing a bit of an explosion from underneath to make life easier for Minx. She yelped as the back car shot up and whacked the roof of the tunnel, breaking stone and actually shooting all the way up through the street. Blood smattering the windows caused cars to smash into each other as well and people screamed only to be blown away themselves as the train exploded from the inside out, painting the roads with flames and body parts. A couple shops were blasted into from the explosion and police burst onto the scene.

…

The rest of the train was still going. Minx swallowed hard and cringed; her tail shot straight up in the air as she kept low and walked on all fours along the top of the train until she reached the front car. Her hood fell off her head but she didn't give a fuck. These people were going to die anyway nobody would live to tell the tale that Minx was actually popstar Mindy Stratus. Gathering what she could and taking a deep breath, Minx's claws dug into the very edge of the train when she swung around and kicked the front windshield in despite how powerful that glass was. Glass was sent straight into the conductor's eyes as she swung inside, snarling like a wildcat before jumping onto him and scratching his eyes out. She wrinkled her nose and scowled as blood splashed onto her fair skin.

"Fuck fuck fuck YUCK!" she danced around for a moment and shook herself off like a wet dog to get the blood away, actually licking her hands like paws and washing her face before staring at the controls like everything was written in Swahili.

She had no way of stopping that train; she didn't know what to do.

"Fuckin' A…" glancing at a panel full of throttles and buttons and god knows what else her heart stopped, "SHIT!"

Behind her she could hear men pounding on the door to get in and she did exactly that; flying two feet up and grabbing the first guy she found by the scruff of the neck, slitting the other's throat with a sharp claw and swallowing hard.

"You stop this thing and you stop it NOW!"

Raising a shaky finger to the red handle on the right the man shivered, "Th-th-th-there's an emergency brake to your right"

"RIGHT!" she discarded the man and pulled the cord, not anticipating the sudden stop and she flew right through the smashed windshield like a projectile. "WAHHH!" she shrieked in midair, catching herself and her breath before flying right back into the train, but unfortunately for the poor man right out the front he went and under the vehicle as it steadily slowed to a stop. Taking a moment to catch her breath and smooth her hair down since it was pretty much standing on-end, and her velvety black tail was now one gigantic bush; Minx heaved before opening the door into the passenger cars and made her own hellcat soundtrack as she ripped open jugulars with her claws left and right, easily moving about from person to person.

…

Blood painted the windows, walls, seats, and the floor as Minx stood panting over what she had done, shaking her claws off before picking her hood back up god forbid someone were to find her. She could fly right on out anywhere since the back of the train was ripped out, but she wasn't bulletproof.

…

Panting and fanning herself off while shaking her oil and sweat-matted hair out, Minx walked alongside the much taller blonde just to let the nippy winter New York City air chill her overheated system. She had sent the goons out for McDonald's with specific orders regarding an Oreo McFlurry and Iced Caramel Mocha. Sniffling and wiping her forehead with her sleeve, Minx shrugged with her hood off and looked to Harley for a critique.

The clown eyeballed the tiny thing once before sighing, "A little heavy-handed for my taste."

Minx's middle finger went up and stood high in the air for all in the empty alley to see.


	3. Chapter 3: Incompetence

**A/N: Thank you so much! :)**

Hard pounding on the door as Mindy slept with the pillow over her head and the lavender sheets almost pulled over her entire body didn't even stir the sleeping beauty; she was completely conked out.

"Meem!" Trish shouted along with the incessant pounding, "Meemster! Meemsicle! Come on, Meem wake up!"

A low, dangerous cat-like growl escaped from under the pillow.

"Meem? Is that you or Fievel?"

Fuck. Immediately Mindy's eyes opened and she came out from under the pillow, covering her mouth and checking around the room to see if her old black cat she rescued in a ditch twelve years ago was there, but nope.

"Oh! Nevermind, Fievel's right here! I got him, Meem don't worry!"

"Ugh" Mindy groaned and turned back over, trying to fall asleep when the knocking sounded again, "What?" she groaned without sitting up; a large Siamese cat curling next to her and purring loudly, nuzzling her face covered by sleep-tousled oily raven hair. She needed a shower something scary especially after last night when she was playing around in the bowels of Manhattan.

"Meem seriously wake up NOW" Trish knocked harder and her voice hardened, "I know you were out 'til some godly hour but you gotta wake up with the rest of the human race"

"Why?" Mindy groaned yet again before being cuddled by the Siamese cat, "Go away, Peking."

"I fed them already!"

There were three cats. Fievel, Peking, and a little white one with brown on its chest named Mallow Mars.

"But YOU also need to eat, shower since I can smell you from out here, and throw some clothes on your video shoot starts in two hours!"

Mindy shot up like a daisy and scrambled out of the bed; landing on her ass and cringing before rubbing it, shooting the doorway an evil glare.

"And you did not wake me EARLIER?" Mindy shrieked while unlocking the door, crawling into the bathroom, and ripping the glass shower door open before crawling inside the economy-sized space shaped like a hexagon. The water was jacked all the way to the left so the heat could soothe her sore skin when Trish came in holding towels, a magazine, and a hairbrush.

"You wouldn't listen" Trish rolled her eyes as Mindy's busty white slip was chucked in her face, "Meem…" she groaned and headed towards the hamper so one of the maids would do it.

"Bitch" Mindy snipped right back, hearing a soft mew to her right so she turned to find the little white kitten with a brown chest sitting by her getting rained on by the showerhead, "MALLOW MARS!" she squealed, dropping to her knees when Trish came back in the room and pointed at her threateningly.

"You arrive late I'm not drumming up an excuse for ya again. You got me?"

"Please" Mindy rolled her eyes before rubbing Mallow Mars's chin and kissing the top of his head, "What the fuck are they gonna do without me? I am the star! I should be making my own damn hours"

"But its noon already" Trish frowned, "most people have been working for three hours already"

"Kiss my fucking ass in D-minor" Mindy sighed while scrubbing shampoo into her scalp quickly, "I am not most people."

"So ahh…" reentering the room and swatting steam out of her face, Trish leaned on the doorframe and smirked, "What DID ya do last night?"

She sighed with a shake of the head, "Nothin'. Too many years" that comment made Trish's eyes drift to Mindy's bed to see a framed picture from high school of a brunette, strikingly different looking Mindy with her arms around a tall, tanned blonde guy with wavy hair and dark eyes.

The genuine happiness was taped to their foreheads while a lovely ring sat on Mindy's left ring finger, and there it stood still today along with a wedding band.

"There's always Randall" Trish said with a slight giggle, earning the evil eye from her sister until Mindy sighed and started shaving one of her legs.

"I leave that prick to YOU, Trisha Anne" she sniffled and rubbed her eyes to get the sudden sting from shampoo out, "He seems to want up your butt"

"Yeah?" Trish asked with a giggle, but then sighed and waved her off, "Well he knows I'm happily married too bad."

"Ditch him" Mindy said bluntly, "Ron is a loser bottom feeding low-life."

"MEEM!"

Mindy cringed and giggled.

"Sorry he's not good enough for YOUR taste, but hating him won't bring-"

Mindy sniffled and shook her wet hair out before stealing a glance at the magazine Trish had opened and her jaw hit the floor. Catching sight of the picture of the handsome blonde man who sat on the cover, Trish had to snort and lift it for her sister to see.

"Who…" Mindy's eyes were simply riveted, "is THAT gorgeous creature from Christ our Lord?"

Glancing at the cover with pouted lips Trish read off with a smirk, "His name is Harvey Dent"

"I would sure like him to put a dent in me"

"He was Gotham City's District Attorney—like you know what that is"

"Ooooo!" excitedly she bounced and pounded on the glass, "Sign ME up for law school!"

"Gotta finish HIGH SCHOOL first, Meemster" Trish whacked the shower door with the magazine as her sister huffed, "Besides, it wouldn't work out"

"Oh yeah?" she barked while folding her arms across her chest, "And why NOT?"

"Well…" Trish cringed, "A…necrophilia is illegal and B…he had a fiancée."

"You mean he's dead AND unavailable?"

Trish stared at her for a long second before nodding.

"Oh god DAMN it, Trisha Anne" Mindy sighed, "getting my god damn hopes up"

"Now hold on I didn't say anything YOU were the one who-"

"Found the most beautiful perfect man I have ever seen and YANKED HIM from me like a RUG by saying he is DEAD and MARRIED!"

"What about Bruce Wayne?" Trish giggled, but received only a curious eyebrow raise from her sister.

"Who?"

Trish laughed condescendingly and placed her hands on her hips with a snort, "Oh come on, Meemy you know him! The billion dollar playboy? Wayne Enterprises? He's like six feet tall, dark hair, dark eyes, he's gorgeous?"

"Yeah…" Mindy nodded along dubiously, "right. Cause I totally know him."

"You HAVE to!" Trish placed a hand over her chest and shook her head, "Everyone knows him!"

"His name is stupid" Mindy said simply, "No thanks."

"You're an idiot" Trish sighed while watching her sister allow the conditioner to sit for a minute or so, "Though he's a huge player so-"

"Trisha Anne I do not care" Mindy dismissed dispassionately, "I will have hair and makeup people, right?"

"I'll braid it once you get out" Trish checked her phone impatiently and grumbled, "Just get OUT so you can shove some food down your throat"

"I SO could go for your confetti pancakes, Trisha Anne" Mindy shook her hair out after washing the conditioner, "Did you make the confetti pancakes for me, you KNOW they're my favorite!"

"YES, Meem!" Trish groaned while drying her sister off with the towel and wrapped her up in it; simultaneously dragging the brush through her mess of raven hair.

"OW!"

"I don't wanna hear it, Meemsicle" Trish snapped before dragging Mindy into her room to dig through her drawers for bras and whatnot, "There's a wardrobe department so just put anything on for now"

"But what if the friggin photogs get me?" Mindy frowned at the thought of paparazzi snapping pictures of her and sticking the unattractive photos everywhere.

"Who gives a crap?" Trish turned around and dug around for baby pink Hard Tail pants and a tye-dye tank top for her sister to simply throw on until they reached the music video shooting location, "Driver's waiting, Meemster let's move!"

"But what about my breakfast?" Mindy frowned while snagging Mallow Mars and adjusting her large chest in her tank top, stumbling down the stairs and clambering for her pancakes while Trish could only sigh.

"Gabby?" Trish called to one of the maids straightening up the massive living area, "The driver's waiting, right?"

"First limousine out front" the maid nodded as Trish watched with a shake of the head as Mindy stuffed her face with pancakes full of sprinkles.

Trish grabbed Mindy's Gucci purse before dragging her out by her elbow.

…

Mindy sighed in irritation as her face was pulled in every direction by different hair and makeup people so her look could be just right for the video they were shooting.

Trish leaned against the wall close by watching a news anchor elaborate on the headline, 'Minx Leaves her Mark in Times Square' with shots of the destruction from last night staying on screen. Trish's phone rang; sighing deeply she checked the number and picked up.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" that was Viper.

"YES, sweetie" Trish exhaled disappointedly while staring at the pint-sized hellcat, "Looks like they were better off with us on their case"

"Twenty-five officers, Trish" Viper spat cruelly, "Let's not forget you and I killed twenty-five officers"

"Oh, but at minimum four-hundred civilians is okay!" Trish nodded spitefully, "That's just swell, the more the merrier as long as they're not cops!"

…

"This is out of hand" Mayor Bloomberg announced via press conference at City Hall, "Every time I turn around that…CAT…and her gang of thugs cause more problems. One of my former agents caught her striking a deal with one of our most wanted mob leaders when the others flanked her and took out a fleet without as much as lifting a finger yet have made no official or formal demands of us"

…

Minx loitered outside New York City Hall with a nail-filer, narrowing her eyes and pinpointing each and every location where explosives were planted.

"Ready for some action, Miss Kitty?" Harley giggled with a gun trailing up the back of her spine, making Minx twitch out for a moment, "Why don't you check things out before I tell Mistah J?"

"Do you bleed from your mouth every twenty-eight days?" a sudden pain shot across her face, making her scream at the top of her lungs and grasp the sides of her mouth as if someone were attacking her.

"Talk to me that way again and I'll declaw you…understood?"

"YES! CHRIST!" she jumped into the air and made a big swoop around the building, pretending to check the timers meanwhile in reality she was making a shopping list.

…

"_Don't call it a comeback; I've been here for years! I'm rocking my peers; Puttin' suckers in fear!" _Minx sang (more like rapped while impersonating the original artist) while circling City Hall with the ticking explosives all around. She didn't have much time to high-tail it out, but the nutjob would skin her if she didn't complete her rounds before flying away.

"Look, Mommy!" a little girl pointed up excitedly towards the sky while tugging her mother's arm a couple blocks away, "its Minx!"

"MINX?" the mother gasped, following her daughter's finger and releasing a small whimper, scooping her daughter off the ground and running in the opposite direction. Of course that action went noticed as more people spotted the attractive woman with the lifelike cat tail flying around high over their heads dressed in the most skin-tight black long-sleeved romper with almost her whole chest popping out.

"_Makin' the tears rain down like a monsoon; Listen to the bass go BOOM! Explosions, overpowerin'; Over the competition I'm towerin'! Records stop when I drop; These lyrics that make you call the cops!"_ police sirens cut Minx off from her LL Cool J freestyle and she yelped, pressing the little button in her hand as the police vehicles skidded to a stop, "WAHHH!" she yelped and her tail became a giant bush from fright as cops shot left and right at her.

"Hold still, ya bitch" one cop growled while leaning on his door for protection and aiming fire.

Minx flew out of the line of fire before pressing the button as hard as she could three times rapid-fire, "_Don't you dare stare; You better move, don't ever compare me to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced! Competition's payin' the price!"_

BOOM! Up in flames went City Hall.

Flames blasted through the windows, doors, and rock and debris flew all over the place. Police vehicles close to the scene were blasted away as was anyone within sight. Chunks of rock smashed into other buildings and Minx couldn't have laughed any harder from her spot high above the city. Fearfully she craned her neck and yelped as news choppers flew over her head, and she flew away only to be shot out of midair by a little dart and down she fell.

…

"HEY!" grabbing the half-beast by the neck once she opened her eyes in the basement of an old warehouse, Harley lifted her as if she were nothing and slammed her to the nearest wall.

Minx emitted a screech, but Harley shook her head and shot at the half-beast with a water gun, making Minx hiss violently and squirm.

"You slipped up, Miss Kitty" she hissed as the young woman gagged, "YOU were supposed to wait…"

"They" she gagged and kicked the air to be released, but Harley was too strong, "They found me, alright?" she choked, trying desperately to claw at her hands to break free, "They found me they found me! I hadda-"

"What?" she taunted with a cock of her head, "You hadda WHAT?"

"Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you shittier advice" Minx hissed sharply, wincing as she was backhanded and dropped to the ground.

She gagged, held her throat, and gasped for air while staring at her leader hatefully, pressing a palm to her stinging face.

"Cunt" Minx snipped under her breath, shaking her head and scowling.

"What'd she do now?" one of the masked clowns asked Harley reluctantly while stepping onto the scene.

Dropping her big brown eyes to Minx for a moment before kicking the tiny creature in the ribs so she coughed from pain, Harley sighed and shifted her slender body to the right before kicking Minx once more.

"IN-competence…!" Harley sighed disappointedly at Minx with a shake of the head, "Can't even blow a building right"

"Well" the man in the clown mask's voice softened a bit, "it was gonna blow at some point, wasn't it?"

"When the timer ran out" Harley snapped, lifting Minx by her tail until the little body came off the ground, "Miss Kitty over here needs to learn some coordination, right Miss Kitty?" Harley sneered while handing the tiny thing off to another masked clown, "Mistah J won't stand for you messing up"

With a snap of her teeth Minx lunged forwards for her.

"Please…" the masked man growled while holding Minx by her tail, "what'd Tommy tell you about her?"

"I don't give a fuck" Minx shrugged angrily while folding her short arms across her broad chest.

"What made her crack?" the masked man asked Harley while looking at Minx and the ex-psychiatrist could only shrug.

"She decided to be cute and show herself in broad daylight"

"Because YOU" Minx poked Harley's ample chest despite the fact that the clown had a firm grasp of her tail, "hadda make me FLY AROUND when you KNOW I am not invisible, Harleen!"

Angered, Harley stepped towards her to the point that Minx tried to unsuccessfully hide behind the masked man despite his hold on her tail.

"MINXY!" the clown snapped when Harley balled a fist to swing at her, "Cut it out!"

"Why?" Minx pouted while folding her arms across her chest only to be swatted away like a little gnat.

"Minxy…" the clown responded while pulling her away from the agitated Harley.

Minx raised an eyebrow, "Was not aware that I hadda learn anything or I would not have agreed to help with all this shit" she scowled while watching Harley continue to saunter about like she owned the place.

"Minxy, please…" the clown sighed while sitting down on a couch and handing her a remote control, "Let me calm the bitch down and watch TV…" he took a moment to let her smile a bit before elbowing her, "Who knows…maybe one a' those videos you make will show up"

"You mean music videos?" she poked her tongue between her teeth as he walked away. "I wanna go HOME! Mother fucker…" she groaned watching her favorite show Gossip Girl for a long five minutes while twirling her hair.

Eventually she grew bored and flipped the channel, where a broadcast with a giant picture of Minx flying outside the exploding City Hall was shown along with the headline, 'Femme-Fatale Places New York on the Brink of Disaster'.

"Ohhhh YES!" she cheered while biting her plump lower lip and clenching her fists eagerly, "Mother FUCKER that's ME! ME!" she giggled gleefully, "Holy shit!" She was so giddy she failed to listen to the anchors at all, "They can call me Daddy" she put the TV on mute and smirked.


	4. Chapter 4: Circle

**A/N: Thank you! And without further ado I finally bring you our leading gentlemen...**

"Mr. Wayne?" A gentle hand shook Bruce Wayne's shoulder as he slept face-down over the lengthy rectangular table. "Mr. Wayne!"

Peeling his dark eyes open and squinting from the florescent lighting above him, Bruce groaned a bit and took a deep breath, "Fox?" he asked tiredly, trying to keep his face burrowed into his arms covered by a tailored Armani suit, "Did the board meeting start yet?"

"It just finished, actually" Lucius Fox replied with a slight twinkle in his eye.

Immediately the young man in his early thirties shot upright, glancing about the board room to find all of the once-occupied swivel chairs vacant.

"We couldn't bear wake you" Lucius responded to the jolt of energy coyly, "you just looked so incredibly enthused."

Furrowing his brow and pouting his thin lips for a second, Bruce placed his palms to the table to rise from his seat all the way to the left on the end when he stopped himself, "What happened with the proposal of those new scanners I had you develop?"

Lucius took a moment to survey the handsome young man's face before smiling, "They passed it."

"That's great, Lucius" Bruce nodded while trying to disguise his yawn, leaning backwards in the chair to stretch out and crack his spine, "Anybody say anything?"

"You mean as to why the owner of the company is dozing off as opposed to listening in and providing support and reasoning's for this new sonar-scanning technology?" he grinned as Bruce's face went blank, "Not one word was mentioned."

Bruce returned the grin with a boyish one of his own before standing and walking alongside Lucius out of the room.

…

Upon entering his twenty-five-thousand-square-foot penthouse with forty-foot ceilings, two enormous balconies, a heliport for his private helicopter, and three-hundred-and-sixty degree view of the entire city; Bruce was pleased to find that his butler, Alfred Pennyworth (whom he had known his entire life), already had dinner prepared for him as well as a newspaper next to the prepared plate.

"What are we having tonight, Alfred?" Bruce asked with a slight grin, narrowing his hazel eyes at the headline and shaking his head.

"Beef tenderloin, sir" Alfred said, entering the dining area while cleaning his hands with a cloth napkin, "with the bruises you've been recently sporting you need all the protein you can get your hands on"

The six-foot, fairly muscular-framed man examined himself, "I think I look pretty damn good."

A knife and fork was placed alongside the plate in their respective positions when the white-haired Englishman grinned, "And I would like to agree with you" he removed Bruce's shirt only to check a set of stitches on Bruce's shoulder that he had recently given himself upon being slashed from a misjudged landing, "but if I told you that I enjoy watching you come home beaten and battered I'd be a bloody liar."

"It's fine, Alfred" Bruce tried to shrug it off when Alfred applied some form of antibiotic liquid to it and he winced, almost dropping his fork with a sour expression on his clean-cut face, "Do you really need to do that while I'm eating?"

"Being that the only times I see you are either when you're eating or preparing to become Batman?" Alfred said while carefully dressing the wound, "Yes, I'd say this is perfect timing."

Bruce winced again before staring at the newspaper headline and becoming cross; he had been trying to shake it off for days now, but the guilt wouldn't leave, "Why wasn't I there?"

"I'm damn glad you weren't" Alfred said vehemently while helping Bruce put the shirt back on, "You would have been nothing but a pile of dust if you had been"

"No, Alfred…" frowning he could only stare at the photograph of New York City Hall being blown to smithereens, "I could have stopped it"

"How would you have come about that?" Alfred asked sternly, "It was caused by that hellcat halfway across the country, not in Gotham"

"How can she be inhuman, Alfred?" Bruce shook his head while dropping the paper to the table and trying to force himself to eat, "How is that even possible" he scowled, "what could she possibly be? A" he waved a hand, "a tiger?"

"Master Bruce" Alfred interrupted with a raised index finger, "May I be so bold as to inform you, that young woman has yet to reveal her pretty little head from underneath that hood"

"She's the least of my worries, she's a woman. I can take her…" his expression hardened, "it's the Joker's henchmen I don't like"

"Chicken-counting" Alfred said wisely, catching a befuddled Bruce's attention, "you're doing it again…!"

"I'm not counting anything, Alfred" he removed his cufflinks and pinched the narrow bridge of his pointed nose, "I'm just saying…" he paused a beat, "that I'm more worried hearing that a psychiatrist actually helped that psychopath escape Arkham."

"You have not made a formal search for him, now have you, Master Bruce?"

"Not HIM so-say…" he shook his head faintly while curling his thin colorless lips, "but I've been investigating none-the-less."

"And…?" Alfred encouraged gently, though Bruce stiffly shook his head.

"Nothing. He doesn't even technically exist. That shrink is missing and speaking of" he pointed to the picture in the paper, "Minx leaves no fingerprints conveniently without wearing gloves"

"I find that quite plausible considering the size of those claws" Alfred's eyes widened at the size of Minx's claws in a separate photograph, "I would hope your multi-million dollar suit is capable of withstanding mangy cats"

"Lucius said it should after he upgraded me from the time I was attacked by Rottweiler's"

"You really have no luck with animals" Alfred snorted, earning a light chuckle from Bruce.

He sighed while staring at the hooded sex kitten, "She's got to have a name."

"Then perhaps you could take her out to dinner and discuss her plans for world domination along with how much a chest like that cost her."

Bruce lightly nudged Alfred and tried to hide the laugh boiling inside him, "You're terrible."

…

While packing his own suitcase on his cheap mattress covered in a gray comforter and flipping through a catalog of local realtors, Viper lifted the phone to his ear and dialed Trish.

"Hello?" she asked a little worse for wear, causing Viper to furrow his brow but then jump right to it.

"Fisico, its Viper" he said while thumbing down a realtor named Susanne Tremblay's information, "What are you doing?"

…

"Well Randall…" Trish sighed through her teeth, "it's been hell lemme tell ya" she was helping a maid pack Mindy's bags in the gigantic master suite because Mindy only felt like packing one bag by herself, which she was currently downstairs trying to stuff all her spare Minx getups in at once incase Trish were to stumble upon it.

Mindy slammed the top shut and sat on it, sliding her butt around to ensure it was sealed before the Louis Vuitton luggage sprang back open and Mindy went flying backwards with a grunt, hitting the wall behind her and jumping right back on it to fasten that shit shut.

"Meemsicle's got a show in Gotham followed by some other public appearances…" sighing and dropping to the bed for a moment she clamped a hand in her hair, "you know how that stuff works."

"Naturally…" Viper said with a hint of venom, "Do you two have a place lined up there or…?"

"HAH!" Trish sniggered nasally with a head shake, "The Meemy-bird? Are you kidding? You think she'd stay in a hotel?" she took a moment to catch her breath from manic laughter and zipped a couple full compartments of the Louis Vuitton luggage that matched the one Mindy was trying to close downstairs but it had a different shape to it, "No, she's already bought a penthouse in the city at this Wayne-owned hotel. I mean, it's not like the Wayne penthouse, but it's really nice the Meemster approves." Taking a moment to pout her plump lips she furrowed her brow and glanced at the phone, "Why?"

…

"Well I ahh…" he shrugged, "What do you plan on doing in Gotham while Randi…" his eyes narrowed, "does…whatever it is she does…?"

…

"Oh!" Trish giggled, "Meemy's kids could use a sitter they're actually related to"

"She still dwelling?"

Trish paused to contemplate before giving it a nod, "Refuses a boyfriend."

"Did you take her damn pictures away like I suggested?"

"And do what?" Trish shrugged a bit nastily, "Tell the widow she can't love her husband anymore?"

"Meh she's a big girl, let her clean up her own act."

Trish became cross, "That's not the best way to put it."

Mindy still fought downstairs to try and close the frigging bag, but nothing was working. She actually had her short legs clamped around the thing while using her cat claws to hook around the zipper and get it, but nothing worked.

"Son of a bitch…" Mindy snarled and barred her teeth, pacing about with a hand locked in her thick hip-length raven hair when she got a new idea.

"So is there a reason you're pestering me about Gotham?" Trish asked Viper with a wry grin, "Or are you just 'checking up on me'?"

…

"Actually" Viper folded his arms across his chest and sighed, "I'm glad you were going there anyway because I conned Commissioner Gordon from Gotham to allow us into his unit"

…

"WHAT?" Trish threw a hand over her mouth and shrieked gleefully, giggling and jumping on the bed.

BANG!

Trish gasped at the thud, "MEEM?"

Trish had startled her sister to the point that her just-closed suitcase popped back open and sent her flying backwards into the wall again.

"Meem?"

…

Mindy held her three-year-old Autistic daughter Chelsea Ray in one arm while strolling in the lobby of Trump Tower's apartment complex with Harley Quinn.

The children's ages ranged six to three; the five-year-olds were identical twin girls named Thorn and Scarlett. They were currently upstairs with Margaret, the Polish nanny who Mindy liked because she herself was a Polish ethnocentric. The four-year-old was a boy named Trygger and Amber was six.

"Mistah J already laid out what he wants from you in Gotham" Harley said calmly, "Since you seem to like blowing everything up"

Mindy's ice-blue eyes narrowed intensely while tightening her grip on Chelsea.

The caramel-eyed young woman in a simple white day dress with her loosely curled blonde locks spilling out over her shoulders shrugged and shook her head with a giggle, "He's already got your furry butt first in line to get-"

Mindy placed her free hand on her little hip and scowled, "I think you schmucks do not appreciate everything I have already done for you."

"Like WHAT, Miss Kitty?" Harley snapped while grabbing Mindy's hand which was placed over her hip and wrenching it around so Mindy winced, "Not only have-"

"I…" pausing for a moment she drummed up a comeback with fierce glowing eyes, actually semi-frightening Chelsea, "have been doing EVERYTHING for you putting my ASS on the line do not even GIVE me that shit, Harleen! If you think for one SECOND that I am getting caught on purpose you are sadly FUCKING mistaken"

"Oh yeah?" she leaned down in Mindy's face to intimidate, "Explain yesterday, Miss Kitty."

She barred her teeth, "You were gonna do it anyway, sorry it was not synchronized like the Russian fucking ballet! I had fuckin' COPS after me because YOU made me go double-check everything in broad daylight while the rest a' you hosers just chilled out wherever the fuck you were-"

"There's a certain caped coconut in Gotham that my Puddin' wants you to play with"

"Really now?" Mindy asked uncaringly, miffed at the sudden subject-change.

"He gave Mistah J a ton of crap until they locked him up in Arkham"

"Arkham?" Mindy raised an eyebrow before remembering and nodding stiffly, "That is a nuthouse and not a theme park, am I correct?"

"Please…" Harley actually genuinely smiled and waved her off, "if it came down to that he just may have enjoyed himself a little too much"

"Nah" Mindy shrugged while rubbing the back of her neck, "He does not really like anything"

The former psychiatrist nodded with a sniffle before glancing at the blonde, blue-eyed toddler in Mindy's arm, "That's the Autistic one, right?"

"Yeah" Mindy nodded a bit stiffly, "She got it from me."

"She's my favorite baby of all time…" she smiled at the toddler when Chelsea pouted her plump lips and reached into a bag of marshmallows Mindy had brought for her, stuffing her cheeks like a hamster with them, "You think she should chew first?"

"No…" rubbing Chelsea's back Mindy shook her head, "She is fine."

Chelsea removed the oversized white-framed sunglasses hanging from her mother's cleavage and put them on her own round face, making Harley melt and reach a hand out to smooth her hair since the cheeks were stuffed to the nines.

"They all got the same daddy?" Harley asked in astonishment, not catching the way Mindy twitched out before nodding.

"Unfortunately"

"Then how can you say the Autism only came from YOU, Miss Kitty?"

"…it only came from me" Mindy thought a moment before continuing, "Trisha Anne and Fagtown got their jobs back in Gotham" she coldly ignored Harley's reaction.

"Where's your husband?" she noticed Mindy had two rings on her left ring finger when immediately the young woman hid that finger and shrugged.

"He died a while before Chelsea was born."

"So how long were you with him?"

"_You could really BE something, you know?" one of chubby brunette sixteen-year-old Mindy's child-sized hands reached up to pet the face of none other than the blonde guy from the picture she kept on her nightstand._

_His dark eyes clouded from his position lying over her in his bed. His father wasn't home (thank Christ) which gave them the house to themselves without him formally knowing. They'd already taken full advantage of the situation several times and were completely disheveled. _

"_You could go to college for engineering, you are ALWAYS kicking my butt in math" she nodded before giving him a big wet kiss, "So when we are married we can get a big house and have lots and lots of babies" _

"_I don't have a goal, alright?" Shrugging helplessly he ran a hand through his long wavy blonde hair and shrugged, "You really have a lot of talent, you know that? You have…" he waved a free hand around for the word, "something…that you want, something that you're capable of achieving"_

"_Bullshit" she shook her head and gripped his hair as well, "I have no life skills, you know I am sick"_

"_And I already picked up your god damn medical bills, Miranda, the rest will come with time, PLEASE" before she could open her mouth he held a hand over hers, "I've been working at the plant with him, you know that"_

"_We will get away from him" her hands pet his face more and she nodded, "There is no more Mommy or Daddy of mine to stop us either, we will get away"_

"_And until then…" he waited and held her chin until she paid attention, "There's a casting call in the city tomorrow afternoon I can only afford you to go"_

"_No" she shook her head and hugged his neck, "No! Not without you, are you crazy?"_

"_You seemed to miss the part where I can't AFFORD to go, Kitten, alright?"_

"_But no…" she frowned until the searing glare he gave her made both arms wrap around his neck and she nodded reluctantly, giving the side of his face a huge kiss._

"Hey! Hey! Miss Kitty!" fingers were snapped in front of Mindy's face, but she hugged Chelsea and almost stopped paying attention.

"What?"

"You never answered my question"

"Oh…" she frowned before shrugging, "We were five when the new boy asked to share my coloring book. We got married when we were eighteen."

"And now he's dead" Harley shrugged indifferently before feigning a sympathetic sigh, "Oh well."

"Yeah" she twitched a bit before nodding with curled lips, "Oh well. What is my job in Gotham?"

Harley petted the top of Mindy's head quickly, "He'll probably be able to elaborate he told me very little."

"Fine. Cool. Whatever" she kissed Chelsea and flipped her straightened raven hair over her shoulder, "I will see you in Gotham."

She left back towards her penthouse to gather everyone and leave, but then stopped and beckoned to her.

"C'mere first, I got a suitcase I need you to close."

…

The group of men sat around the table flanked by their own private security all belonging to the Falcone crime family. They'd been in that room of the warehouse before, and after what happened last time they really weren't looking forward to it.

Now, the Joker had been locked away in Arkham Asylum after being saved by Batman from falling head-first to his death, but the news breakout of his escape along with the disappearance of psychologist Dr. Harleen Quinzel was enough to put them all on-edge.

"So what's the deal?" Maroni glanced around at the men and narrowed his eyes while checking his gold Rolex, "Is the clown showin' up or not?"

"How should I know?" Mario Falcone shrugged, "What makes you think we keep contact with this man?"

"Well…" Alberto Falcone shrugged and looked to Sal Maroni, "Who called you?"

"Some chick who works for the clown…who called you?" Maroni flipped right back and everyone just exchanged glances.

"Same chick" Johnny Viti responded lowly, "Where's the clown?"

"Unbelievable…" Maroni checked his watch and scowled, "late to his own god damn meeting"

"You see…" that familiar cracked voice got all heads turning about, "in today's day and age anything under fifteen minutes would be considered FASHIONABLY late" the moment he stepped into the room everyone's blood ran cold.

"Who let YOU out?" Maroni demanded with a balled fist.

"Uh uh uh…" tapping his index finger didactically, the man with the Glasgow smile and heavy unevenly applied face makeup raised his eyebrows and shook his head, "Let's not focus so much on the…" he paused and waved a hand around with utmost eccentricity, "extraneous details…" he released the faintest trace of a chuckle before continuing, "and stick to the facts."

The Joker surveyed their faces only for a moment to search an expression to feed him before placing his gloved palms to the table they were all seated around.

"Bat-breath's living well, huh?" he nodded to the group, "Ain't he?"

"Swell" Maroni answered stiffly, "Can't bring him down for nothin'"

"And WHY, may I ask…" his interest was now captivated by the crippled man, "would you EVER want to do that? I mean…" he snorted at the looks everyone was shooting him, "what would Gotham BE without the Batman, huh? How…BORING would it be?"

"I'd stop having to hire new men 'cause they keep getting caught" Maroni replied slyly and the Joker gave him a nod while pointing his knife in Maroni's direction, nodding the blade with his head quickly.

"You'd like that…wouldn't you?"

"I think we all would" Maroni replied with a smirk, making the Joker nod along too before opening that red-lined purple coat and pulling something out of his pocket.

"Would ya like to see me make this pencil disappear?" he nodded encouragingly at Maroni while his men readied to tackle the Joker on the spot, "Huh? Would ya?" he stepped closer yet again, "I know what a hit it was LAST time"

"N-no…" Maroni knew better from experience and waved him off with raised hands, "that's alright, I've-"

"It goes a little something like THIS…" he stood the pencil on the table, grabbed a goon's head, and slammed it down so the pencil pierced through his eye socket in a lightning fast move; everyone grimaced. "Heh…" his voice got deep and low as he sauntered around them, "what are YOU all looking at?"

"What do you want?" Mario growled when the Joker exhaled and ran a hand through his messy dyed-green hair.

"The opposite of what YOU all have been planning I can assure…" his hands pressed together and he nodded, "but you may get the next best thing to your wish if you do as I say"

"And what's THAT?" Maroni leaned back in his chair when the Joker gave his most menacing grin.

"Well…" he shrugged a bit and kept his eyes down as he thought, "we start by uh…" his hand holding the knife waved around again, "keeping ourselves unseen…lying" he moved his hands down to the floor, "LOW for the time being while-"

"WHILE…?" Alberto spat impatiently, irritating the Joker to no end.

"While, while, WHILE I do MY part and send out my little Kit-ten to keep him off your backs"

"Won't they link that cat back to us?" Alberto narrowed his eyes when the Joker held up a hand and waved him off.

"LISTEN, my Italian friend…you've got two ears and one mouth" he gritted his teeth while moving towards Alberto's side of the table, "See…none of you let me ever finish my stories"

"Because you are INSANE!" Viti slammed a fist to the table when the Joker snickered and shook his head with a sigh; creeping the hell out of everyone.

"Ooooh! That's a GOOD one!" his spine hunched forward, "Did anyone ever tell you that you should have been a comedian?"

Viti sat silent much to the Joker's satisfaction.

"Now…" he started to pace about, "I'm going to continue" his voice spiked into a harsh growl, "if that's alright with all of you!"

The room went silent, allowing the Joker to inhale obnoxiously before shaking his matted green hair out.

"My Kitten's goal is to be a decoy courtesy of…" he waved towards the Falcone's, "all of YOU…" his hand went to the fallen goon, "except him…" he looked back to the bunch, "anymore…and proceed" his voice slowed significantly, "to turn his attention ELSEWHERE."

He appreciated the devious glints forming in the leaders' eyes.

"You all like that…I know you do" he nodded and held up a finger, picking up his pace of his voice excitedly, "and so do I!" his mouth hung open in a vampire grin for a few moments, "Gotham's" he licked his lips, "'Dark Knight' can enjoy running in circles."

Maroni nodded at him, "When does the cat drop in?"

"Oh…" he flicked his knife in Maroni's direction, "I'm glad you asked that. I'm AWFUL glad you decided to ask! Because my little MINXY-poo arrives" he licked his lips once more, "to-morrow."


	5. Chapter 5: Welcome to Gotham City

**A/N: Thank you! :)!**

A little white Porsche Carrera convertible pulled up at a ridiculous speed to the front of the Gotham City Major Crimes Unit and stopped on a dime blasting 'Bitches Ain't Shit' by Dr. Dre to the point that the windshield was shaking. Since she didn't have a car of her own, an irritated Trish gave her twin sister a shake of the head as Mindy sang along to every word.

The contrast between their outfits was hilarious enough for any passerby. Trish had on a tailored navy blue pencil-skirt, pump black heels, and a slightly unbuttoned white top all purchased by Mindy from Armani meanwhile the rock star wore a peach Juicy Couture tracksuit with a pushup bra and no shirt underneath along with Dior white-framed oversized sunglasses because they were her favorite.

"Thanks Meem" with a kiss to her sister's cheek and a slight smile, Trish got out of the car and started to head towards the doors.

"Look here, BITCH…!" Mindy said with a smirk while holding up a little pink digital camera.

"Meem…!" Trish whined and spun around afraid that people were watching, but Mindy couldn't give a crap.

"First day of work!" Mindy giggled, "Saaayyyy 'Miranda Marie is the best sister everrrr!'" she readied the flash while Trish decided to be a brat.

"Only when she buys my wardrobe…!" Trish mashed her teeth and smiled as the picture flashed.

"Good!" Mindy grinned while checking the picture before setting the camera away and continuing to sing and bob her head along to the song, "Have a nice day at work, Trisha Anne! Remember to eat lunch, and do not fight with the other kids!"

"Thanks, Mommadukes" Trish replied with a fake roll of her eyes before the volume of the highly inappropriate song was jacked even higher and the white Porsche Carrera sped off before Trish could really wave. With an internal groan Trish hoped not TOO many people were gawking at the fact that she exited Mindy Stratus's vehicle before heading in.

…

Viper nervously waited outside Commissioner Gordon's office when he was tapped on the shoulder by a little finger.

"I was starting to worry" he said while eyeballing her new outfit with a wry grin, "The bitch took you shopping, I see?"

Trish frowned while looking herself over, "How'd ya know?"

"You look stylish"

Trish's hands went to her little hips, "I'm usually not?"

"Don't hurt yourself, Fisico" Viper answered with a smirk, "You look ready to tackle some bad guys in those three-inch"

"RANDALL, stop!" Trish smacked his arm and giggled.

"I got our jobs back…" Viper said lowly, "I coulda let you in the dust, but I decided I was shit without my wonderful partner and-"

"Where'd you get YOUR outfit?" she pointed to the black pants and light blue pinstripe button-down he wore.

"Kohl's sale rack" that was a low-priced department store Trish had never entered due to her twin's bank account, "not everyone's obnoxious sibling is Mindy Stratus."

Trish frowned for him when Gordon's door was open and they faced a light-brown haired man with glasses and a mustache. He was middle-aged, small-framed, very kind looking, and genuinely pleased to see them.

"Mr. Viper" he shook Viper's hand first.

"Commissioner" Viper gave him a respectful nod and returned the handshake before Gordon looked to Trish.

"Mrs. Fisico" he gave her a handshake as well.

"Commissioner" Trish smiled at him before giving Viper a puppy face because Gordon was simply adorable.

"I hope the commute was alright for the both of you" Gordon gave them a nod and smiled weakly, "I'm sorry the city isn't on its best foot as of right now"

"We're from New York" Viper motioned to him and Trish, which jogged Gordon's memory.

"Oh, yes! That's right…you're the duo who has actually seen that…" he waved a hand to find the word, "cat-thing"

"Indeed" Viper nodded and kept his eyes solely on Gordon.

"Why don't you two come on in," he motioned to the two armchairs in front of his desk, "take a seat, make yourselves comfortable…" Trish and Viper obliged as Gordon closed the door behind them, "and…" taking a deep breath he sat at the leather swivel chair at his desk and slid a file towards the pair, "if you can…try to recall everything you know about this…" he waved a hand with a shrug, "seemingly 'supernatural' being that has decided it was time to raise hell in Manhattan."

"Her Uncle Boris must have been a garden gnome"

"She's not even five feet tall" Trish tried to mask the fact that she wanted her foot up Viper's ass.

"Did she speak?" Gordon asked Trish while jotting her details down on a pad, "Was there a specific tone of voice?"

"Very light and airy…almost like a little kid" she clutched her throat and looked Gordon in the eye.

"She's some sort of monster you see in Mortal Combat, you ever play that game?"

Trish corrected Viper immediately, "She's a human with the ability to change her form into an animal"

"Only she's retarded and stops half-way, making her a half-thing" Viper rolled his eyes, but Trish interrupted with a shake of the head.

"She's got all the attributes of a cat, don't listen to him" Trish told the Commissioner calmly despite how badly she wanted to strangle Viper, "She's a human and not an entity or a creature…that's why I've drawn the conclusion that she's a scapegoat. You can imprison Minx…but you can't imprison whoever controls her because we have no idea who or what they are."

"See, I" Viper motioned to himself rudely, "on the contrary, think the opposite. I believe that if you touch a hair on Minx's hooded head whoever owns her will be so far up our ass-"

"And if you actually paid attention you'd see that NO ONE controls Minx on premises" Trish interrupted nastily.

Gordon raised an amused eyebrow, "And what exactly are you two doing tonight?"

The partners exchanged glances and shrugged.

"Meet me on the rooftop at around ten…" Gordon told the two with a conclusive nod, "I think you two could really be of great use considering your resumes."

…

"YES!" laughing loudly as they exited the station that afternoon Trish gave Viper a huge high five and held the hand in the air, "I would LOVE to meet ya on the roof at ten, Commissioner!"

"What are you doing now?" pulling the keys to his '99 Toyota Camry out Viper stepped back respectfully while watching her cell phone whip out.

"Contacting the Meem" Trish dialed Mindy's number and sent it, "she's supposed to pick me up."

"Did you tell her when to come?"

"Nope"

"Well then you're probably going to be here all night" Viper said wisely, "I could always give you a ride"

"Hold on…"

"Hey, this is Mindy Stratus! Well…not really, this is my voicemail. Peace, homespice!"

"BITCH!" Trish groaned while almost crushing the phone in her hand, "I HATE that stupid voicemail of hers!"

"I think that's why she does it" Viper shook his head with a sigh, "parasites like her feed off that shit."

"What could she POSSIBLY be doing?"

…

With an entourage of bodyguards Mindy browsed through the boutique specifically for designer Valentino for a dress of some nature. Her oversized white-framed sunglasses were hanging from the zipper with the signature 'J' on it for Juicy Couture and her cell phone was in her Prada bag, so of course she couldn't tell if it was vibrating or not.

…

"You know," Viper jerked his head towards the parking garage, "I could always give you a ride since Princess Miranda doesn't feel like showing up to get you"

"No, no it's my fault" Trish put her phone back and shook her head to keep Mindy out of the doghouse, "I guess I could use a ride."

Viper smiled warmly and wrapped an arm about her shoulders, "I thought so."

…

As Mindy's eye was particularly caught on a short white day dress with a bit of frill on the top and white straps, she hadn't even realized that she had stolen a particular perfect specimen of the male race's attention as he was perusing through a collection of plain button-down collared shirts to go underneath his suits. He watched about three sales associates run for the popular artist to try and assist her in choosing, but the bodyguard-flanked phenomenon wanted none of it. Though he'd never actually listened to her band, apparently this piece of work was the real McCoy.

"I think I like this one…" Mindy's collagen-fused lips pouted as she studied the dress she liked on a mannequin, "it is simple" she spoke to her security guys expecting them to nod along.

"Which is exactly why you shouldn't buy it" the suave voice about three feet away replied, which only irritated Mindy even after her eyes had followed the direction of the voice and discovered the absolutely beautiful creature.

His height was probably six feet flat, but he was lean wearing a designer suit. He didn't have that jacked-up frame; even his face was much more feminine and smooth. The hazel eyes had her attention more than anything else. They were dead emotionally, but the coloring was nice and went well with his narrow pointed nose. He had a tan meanwhile Mindy was whiter than snow, and his dark brown hair was neatly slicked back. On the contrary, Mindy was lucky she had her stylist run a brush through her hip-length naturally wavy thick raven hair. He looked so much better than her at the moment she felt like a complete bum in her Juicy Couture tracksuit, Ugg slip-ons, and lacking makeup. When one was shopping it usually was code not to dress like a total tool and try to be casual as possible, every girl knew that. He seemed to dig it though.

"Excuse me?" she asked him with a raised medium-toned eyebrow, clearly screaming that she was a natural brunette and the black was dye. Taking that as his cue, he held a hand up and motioned to the dress on the mannequin that she had liked.

"Well…" stepping even closer to her he realized just what a tiny little thing she was, she didn't clear five feet, "it's a little subtle, don't you think?" he motioned to the plain white fabric, "With your particular skin tone it'll simply wash you out."

She smirked while stealing a glance at him since his eyes were temporarily on the dress, "Are you a sales associate?"

"No…" he said simply, "I'm actually a regular customer."

"Oh…" she nodded along apathetically, "so that means you think that you have taste in women's clothing?"

"For ONE thing…" he raised a long finger at the dress and nodded along, "you are WAY too vibrant a personality for something…" he waved a hand in a circle to assist the words, "so…" he sighed, "bland."

"Oh?" she raised both eyebrows and nodded along, "Then what DO you think suits my vibrancy?"

He smiled weakly and furrowed his brow while quickly scanning the large boutique for something he'd find appropriate, and his attention zoned in, "I see you more in something along the lines of THIS."

He led her and her security a little deeper into the store towards a navy blue cocktail dress made of denim cotton, ruches detailing, appliqué, belt attachment, and sleeveless. It had a belt which tied right underneath the chest and ruffles which fell over the chest and all the way up the left side. It actually was really cute she was surprised.

"I really do not wear blue…" she studied the dress and even touched the fabric, "but I think this time I will make an exception" she smiled at him in approval, "thank you."

"Anytime," he took her hand politely and kissed it, "Miss Stratus."

"Oh" she pulled the hand back and placed it over her breast plate, "Please, its Mindy."

His eyebrow rose amusedly and he nodded along while hiding a smile, "Mindy…is that short for anything? Or are you simply"

"Miranda" she smiled thinly while motioning for an associate to find her that dress, "I am a six without the boobs; with boobs I cannot help you."

"Don't worry, Miss Stratus, we've got it for you" the girl smiled at Mindy before heading off to get it so Mindy could try it on.

Suddenly realizing that a size six was a little on the big side for someone her height she sighed uncaringly and looked up at him as if he were judging her for being anything other than a zero or a two, "I am Greek and Polish…not thin."

"No, you look great…?" he didn't know what to call her so he looked to her for help.

"Well, everyone calls me Mindy, but actually-"

"I prefer Miranda" he gave her a smile and she almost melted at how pointy his canines were compared to most peoples, "Is that alright if I…?"

"Whatever floats your boat" she smiled as the dress he picked was brought out for her, "Ooo yay!"

"How come I haven't seen you around here before?" he asked gently, refusing to take the hint that she wanted him to leave.

"I have crap I have to do here and my twinny just got her job back as a cop so I bought a penthouse above this weird hotel-" she shrugged but he cut her off.

"I know that building" he gave her a nod, "I own it." He extended a hand towards her for her to shake and she stared at it oddly. "Bruce Wayne…" he was extremely baffled at the lack-of-reaction to his name, "Surely you've seen Wayne Tower in the center of the city…?"

"You work there?" she asked as the girl handed her the dress, and he emitted a slight chuckle and shook his head lightly.

"You could say that…" he leaned close and told her in a low voice, "I'm the owner."

"Of THAT thing?" she pointed to the general direction of the tower and he nodded stiffly.

"How long do you plan on staying in Gotham, Miranda?" he asked kindly, nearly mesmerized at how her ice-blue eyes made her skin tone even frostier while contrasting the lengthy raven hair.

"Uhh…" she shrugged, "I dunno. As long as I want, I guess."

He took the opportunity to strike, "Why don't we meet up sometime" she didn't seem to take the bait, "You know…" he shrugged while flashing his most charming grin, "go out."

"I can do lunch just fine" she shrugged while pouting her lips anxiously, which for him was a godsend. He needed his nights to be clear for the most part, though eventually he'd have to take her out at night at some point or she'd suspect something.

"That's GREAT" he nodded while clasping her child-sized hand of French-manicured nails, "Do you know the city well enough to find a location if I gave you the name?"

"Mehh…" she shrugged, "I dunno…I have drivers if I feel dumb."

"Well incase you don't…" noticing how she went for her cell phone in her bag because it vibrated, he waited for her to go put it back down before gently easing it out of her hands, "Just give me a call, alright?"

"Where…" she raised an eyebrow and giggled, "exactly are we meeting up?"

He frowned and thought it over, she didn't know the city and he wanted to impress her with something fabulous, "Have you ever heard of the Riviera?"

"Is that where you would like to meet?" she was treating this so casually it was annoying him.

"Yes" he nodded, "How about tomorrow at noon?"

"If I manage to wake up then it is a date" she gave him a toothy grin and a nod.

"Then I look forward to seeing you tomorrow" he gave her hand another kiss before turning to leave, which made her feel slightly guilty and she held a hand to the side of her mouth to call him out.

"Hey!"

He turned.

"Thanks for helping me!"

He gave her a nod. She couldn't have been any more blatantly disinterested if paid but hell, he liked her. He liked her A LOT.

…

"Sooo how was YOUR day?" Trish asked Mindy as she quickly brushed out her three-year-old Chelsea's long blonde hair after she had taken a bath. Kissing Chelsea on her forehead quickly, Mindy scurried into her bedroom with Trish trailing behind her.

"Meh" she shrugged while applying deep red lipstick, "Some gorgeous bonehead asked me out when I was shopping"

"Oh really now?" Trish asked in a giggle, "And what happened?"

"Whattaya THINK happened?" Mindy shrugged, "How was work?"

"What's his name?"

"Bruce Wayne" Mindy checked to make sure her Minx outfit was in her bag before swinging it over her shoulder and leaving.

Trish's jaw hit the floor as Chelsea wandered in and waited for her Aunt Trisha to dress her out of her fuzzy pink robe.

…

"What-up?" Minx jerked her head towards the Joker as she approached him waiting for her between her building and the one next to it.

"What. Were you KNITTING that outfit?" he eyeballed her with a scowl and shake of the head, which obviously upset the half-feline.

She frowned and looked over herself, the hood not up yet, "I look cute"

"In a hamster sort of way…" he nodded while leaning quite close to her face, which at first she nodded along to before processing what he meant and her jaw dropped in shock as he started to walk away.

"HEY!"

A finger slammed to her lips, "You see…this is why I can't deal with you on my own"

"So you send me with HER?" she leaned just as close to his face with clenched teeth, and he narrowed his dark eyes at her for a moment before licking his lips and nodding.

"Uhh…yeah"

"WHAT?"

"HIYA pretty kitty!" Harley literally popped out of thin air behind the Joker and knowing the way Minx felt, the Joker could only chuckle at the look on the feline's face.

"I…" Minx looked him in the eye, "LOATHE…" her finger went right up at him, "you."

"Relax" giving what could have passed as a sympathetic glare he turned his head away before lifting her hood up for her, "you know what they say" he sighed before waving her off, "better you than me."

Minx hissed towards the man who stalked away and actually lunged after him, grabbing his arm which he wrenched out of her grasp so the two of them walked alongside the other, "Fucking honestly? YOU know how I-"

"I know very well, but you see…" he cringed and placed his hands together in front of him as they continued moving away from a miffed Harley Quinn, "you missed the part where I really don't CARE"

"Bullshit" was all she said to him before looking up and catching eyes with him, "that girl is batshit insane"

He turned and backed her into the stone wall, "The funny thing about insanity is that it's only a plea used in COURT and not an actual psychiatric term"

"You learn that in Arkham?"

He raised a hand to hit her across the face but clenched the fingers and dropped his head, holding the hand in midair before allowing her to slip out from under him and scamper towards Harley.

"I smile for YOU, Miranda…" he pointed a finger in the air before turning his back.

"And here I sat all EXCITED that he was gonna do it" the frighteningly sexy clown shook her head at Minx in heavy disappointment; big brown eyes squinting as she caught the searchlight with the large bat symbol in the sky, "Looks like we've already got our work cut out for us, Miss Kitty"

"I don't give a fuck" Minx replied in the most manly, ghetto-tastic tone she could make while throwing her arms out slightly.

Harley moved alongside the feline with a slight skip in her step, "Mistah J's a very dangerous man"

"He can kiss my fucking ass in D-minor let us go bat-hunting."

"Not tonight, Miss Kitty" she shook her head while dragging Minx off into the darkness by her wrist.

"Why?" Minx frowned, "You tellin' me that I changed for nothing?"

"When I said 'we're'" her voice dropped dangerously, "I meant me and Mistah J…" she wrenched her wrist around, "YOU have work to do!"

Minx growled as Harley dragged her towards the MCU where Commissioner Gordon, Trish, and Viper would be meeting.

…

Commissioner Gordon stood in front of the large searchlight with Batman's symbol on it alongside Trish and Viper, who stared at the light in confusion and looked around oddly.

"He's coming…" Gordon nodded to the two of the stiffly, "eventually."

Viper cringed, "Excuse me, Commissioner, but what exactly are we waiting on?" he wasn't even going there with the searchlight.

"A good friend of mine…" Gordon nodded as Trish actually huddled close to the six-foot-four, sculpted thirty-one-year-old man with buzzed dark hair and small blue eyes.

"It's freezing…" Trish shivered to the point that Viper actually took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders.

"Bring real clothes, Fisico" Viper responded wryly.

"You signaled for me?"

Trish gasped and Viper kept his hand over his gun as Gordon stepped towards that hoarse deep rasp.

"I've got two people I'd like you to meet" Gordon motioned to Trish and Viper, "My newest agents specializing in infiltration. This is Patricia Anne Fisico and Randall Viper."

Batman stepped into the light slightly and made Trish gasp. His entirely black armored getup with the creepy cape was nothing short of intimidating. He had a utility belt of sorts around his waist that was some kind of silver or gold…but everything else was simply black as night.

"Where do you two come from?"

Trish didn't understand that hoarse rasp of his, but Viper did.

"New York" he said simply, "We were fired originally during an attempt to bust Minx…we thought it was just her when a gang of clowns with explosives showed up and nearly killed us, but managed to take out twenty-five cops and police vehicles as well as the biggest mob leader in our part of the country."

"They fired them for that?" Batman faced Gordon and he gave him a nod.

"I didn't find it fair either…" Gordon told Batman gently, "But this is New York we're talking about…I didn't expect anything less"

"Commissioner Gordon's told me about your history…" Batman told the newest agents and nodded along, "at least you two have a shadow of an idea of what exactly it is we're combating against."

"To be honest…" Trish clamped a hand in her thick chocolate hair and curled her plump lips in, "we have NO idea what we're dealing with."

"This…" Gordon spoke to Batman only now, "won't be easy. That freak isn't like anything we've ever had"

"Oh whatever" Minx bailed from her inconspicuous spot and flew back over the rooftop towards where Harley Quinn was waiting for her.

"What?" she asked coldly, "What are they talking about?"

"Batman's legit he's got a cape and everything. I promised my babies dancing on Kinect with them tonight, so peace" again she bailed.

Quinn went to say something nasty but was shut out with a glare from none other than the Joker, who happened to be watching much closer by than she initially thought.

He tilted his head as Harley started to shiver sheepishly and held her hands up.

"I couldn't grab her she just-AHH!"

She received a swift backhand and off he went back into the darkness.


	6. Chapter 6: Bonehead

**A/N: Thank you so much!**

Bruce entered the Riviera in one of his dark grey business suits while checking his watch. He'd actually arrived fifteen minutes earlier than he'd booked the reservation so she wouldn't get there and think he stood her up. He walked right up to the hostess and smiled warmly.

"Hi, I have a twelve o' clock reservation for two?"

"Name?" she asked politely from behind the podium while checking her book, so he leaned forwards and whispered.

"Bruce Wayne."

Patiently he checked the door to see if she walked in, which obviously she didn't. She didn't even call; the giving of his number was much more than a gesture because she couldn't figure out where the place was.

She smiled and grabbed two menus, "Right this way, Mr. Wayne."

He gave her a nod and was led to his table right by the window which overlooked Gotham Bay. He'd called in advance to get this table inside the yuppie restaurant, so hopefully she liked it. For a few minutes he fiddled with the glass of water, checked his watch, and then his cell phone.

She walked in five minutes late wearing her hair down and straightened along with the dress he conned her into buying and a smile across her face.

"Hey look, I made it!" she poked her tongue between her perfect teeth and giggled, and immediately he stood from the table and took her hands in his.

"You were starting to worry me" he kissed both her little neatly manicured hands before leaning down to get her on the cheek, "You look marvelous!" he motioned to the fact that she was wearing the very navy blue cocktail dress he'd picked for her and she giggled with a nod.

"Thank you!" she ran her hands over the trail of ruffles on her left side leading from the top of her chest to the bottom hem by her knees and giggled, "I had my sister zip for me though, my nails" she showed him her acrylic tips as he placed a hand over her broad back just to pull her chair out for her and help her sit, spreading the napkin over her lap.

"Who's your sister?" now that he was looking at her, she had a striking resemblance to the brunette beauty he was looking at last night.

"Patricia Anne 'Fisico'" she sassed her sister's married name.

"Why such ill will on the last name?" he sat in his chair and asked calmly, trying to keep his eyes on her lightly made-up face (if she wore heavy makeup the dark color of the dress would make her look weird), "Is that your real…?"

"Oh GOD no!" she waved him off and laughed as the waiter came over, "That is her stupid husband" her voice dropped and she leaned over the table slightly, not catching how he took her hands in his the moment she moved them forwards, "I do not like him." Her voice picked back up and she rubbed his knuckles with her thumbs, "My last name is Stratigias. Greek" she rolled her eyes and shrugged, "What else?"

"I like it" he nodded before drawing his eyes up to the waiter.

"Good afternoon" the Hispanic waiter nodded to the both of them, "my name is Juan and I'll be serving you today…can I start you two off with something to drink?"

Bruce looked to the tentative Mindy and nodded, "Anything you want, please."

Taking advantage of his insistence she nodded along, "Yes" she pointed a dainty finger while resting one of her elbows and smiled, "I will have a Dirty Martini if you make those?"

"They can make you anything" Bruce nodded to her encouragingly, but now kind of felt stuck because he had to order an alcoholic beverage.

As much as he pretended to be a huge drinker, as part of his training regimen he abstained from any alcohol. Usually he had ginger ale and pretended it was champagne. He couldn't get away this time.

"We can make that for you, Miss Stratus" Juan looked to Bruce, "And you, Mr. Wayne?"

"I'll uhh…" he needed a drink, "brandy will do just fine."

"Alright, I'll have those out for you in a moment" he gave them both a nod before walking away with the order, leaving an awkward silence with them until Bruce spoke up kindly.

"So tell me about yourself" he seemed genuine (and he was), though her brow furrowed and her plumped lips pouted.

"What would you like to know?" of course there were certain things about her better off not said such as her being Minx and all, that was a pretty good thing to leave out.

"Anything and everything" smiling warmly he took one of her hands and nodded, "believe me, I'm interested."

"Okay then…" she exhaled and moistened her lips for a moment, staring at the ceiling for a moment to drum crap up, "I am twenty-eight…" she nodded along to her own sentence nervously, "yeah…I am twenty-eight, um…and obviously" she shrugged, "the biggest rock star in the world" she chuckled as did he.

"Please, no need for modesty"

"Hah, I am sorry"

"What for?" he egged her on, "I asked."

"Okay" she sighed again while holding his hand a bit harder, "I absolutely friggin' LOVE rap and hip-hop"

"So wait" he laughed lightly and gestured towards her, "You're a rock star, yet you only listen to rap?"

"Pretty much" she wrinkled her nose and nodded, "I am a little hoodrat."

"I don't really listen to music" he watched her face contort as if someone had spit in her soup, "I'm not very into TV and movies either" if there was a way for Mindy to just get up and walk away from the table she would have done so.

"Is your job THAT demanding when you already own the damn thing?" she shook her head sarcastically when he released some form of sigh.

"I watch the news"

"How exciting" she shook her head and pointed a finger at him exactly as she'd done to the waiter, "I am so hooking you up it will change your life."

The waiter came back over with their drinks and the pair almost forgot to decide what exactly it was they were eating. The menu had a nice variety, but most of the food was very light and she hated that shit.

"Dirty Martini…" Juan smiled while handing Mindy her drink and she flashed her most dazzling grin at him, "Mr. Wayne" he handed Bruce his glass and received a simple nod from the prince of Gotham. "Are you guys ready to order?"

"Are you ready, Miranda?" Bruce asked kindly, temporarily releasing her hand so she could open her menu and she nodded.

"I will have the Chicken Cacciatore"

"Chicken Cacciatore" Juan repeated aloud while scribbling the item down and Bruce was slightly surprised she didn't go for a soup or a salad, yet after she explained her heritage to him he was starting to feel she was quite fond of food.

"Would you like any kind of appetizer, Miranda?" Bruce asked before daring to order for himself, "There's no limit, anything you'd like."

"Oh!" at first she was trying to remain respectful but since he kept insisting she no longer gave a fuck, "Um yes…" she pointed to the menu for Juan and he leaned closer to see it, "I would like the French onion soup and the Asian salad."

Baffled by her scattered food choice, Bruce hid his smile behind the menu and looked for himself.

"I'll put that right in for you, Miss" Juan looked to Bruce, "And how about you, Mr. Wayne?"

"I'll uhh" he decided to give it a go to try out her strange choices of food, "I'll have what she's having."

Her eyes popped even bigger than they already were as Juan scribbled it down and nodded to them both.

"Very good" he took their menus from them and smiled, "Thank you very much, and I'll have it out for you."

"No need to rush it" Bruce replied a bit brutishly before turning his attention to the young woman with the face of a porcelain doll, "Do you often mix up your meals?"

"You did not have to copy me if you did not like it" Mindy shrugged while staring at the deep purple tablecloth.

He smiled for her, "I trust your judgment"

"Why?" she took a sip of her martini, but noticed he'd only been drinking his glass of water, "You do not know me."

"I don't need to necessarily 'know' you to know you're quite an intriguing individual" he nodded curtly.

"I am a weirdo"

"Not at all" he corrected with a tilt of the head, "I don't think you would have gotten my attention so easily-"

"If my boobs were not popping out of my top?" she giggled with a shake of the head, "They are fake. So are my lips and my hair color. Three of my teeth are fake. I also had a nose job that is why you can easily tell me from my Trisha Anne nowadays."

"It works on you" was the only safe response, "You're quite beautiful"

"Not many can rock the ghost" she motioned to the icy color of her skin, "but I can."

"You CAN" he nodded when their soups were brought out from the back and handed to them.

"THANK you!" Mindy grinned at Juan before grabbing her spoon and getting excited, "I fuckin' love the cheese" she scraped some with her spoon and got it in her mouth, "I like to eat everything, I am a very easy date" she nodded while swallowing her cheese and scraping another spoonful along with a piece of bread.

She didn't notice (but he did), he was eating much slower than her. It was a bad habit Mindy had even though she was constantly eating something; she shoveled food in her mouth like someone was going to take it away from her.

"You really eat anything?" he asked amusedly while trying not to talk with his mouth full, "This place…" he pointed at the table as she swallowed some broth before nodding to him, "I chose because I thought it was safe considering variety, if you know what I mean?"

"No no, I do" she nodded along while sipping her martini more, "That was very smart of you."

"I'm glad you liked what was on the menu" a hand reached over the table and held one of hers, "Now though I know I can take you anywhere" he paused, "Do you have a particular favorite?"

"Chinese" she nodded while spooning more into her mouth, "I eat anything though" she laughed nasally to the point that she had to cover her mouth, "My Trisha Anne calls me a garbage disposal because I eat everyone's food, HAH!" she sniggered loudly and tried to fan herself off, "Sorry…I get very excited with-"

"That's alright" he waved her off gently, "What do you like to do in your spare time?"

"Well" she exhaled while scraping the bottom of the bowl and placing her spoon in the middle because she'd already finished, "I play piano all the time for both work and not work…oh!" she brightened, "I am an artist too! I LOVE to paint and all that artsy crap" she chewed her cheek as a waiter came by to take her plate, "Thank you" she chirped before facing Bruce once again, "AND I am a big-time equestrian. I have been riding horses since I was a youngin, I actually have a horse! He's a white Arabian gelding named Cotton I have had him for nine years he is my baby."

"So you love horses…?"

"Mhm" she curled her lips in and nodded as he finished his soup and allowed his plate to be taken away when their salads came over.

"I have a stable at my father's house" he nodded to her and she almost jumped over the table she was so excited.

"Really? Does it have horses?"

"I do" he nodded with a slight gulp, "My parents died when I was a kid…" his eyes dropped for a moment when she reached over the table to touch his hand genuinely. "I live both at Wayne Manor in the Palisades" he paused because he knew she wouldn't understand what exactly that meant, "It's an exclusive estate inside the city limits in the country. It's close enough to make the commute, but for the most part I live here in a penthouse."

"Do you live in my building now?" she removed the hand and continued her salad.

Pausing to think about it, he shook his head and smiled at her, "You're the building next to mine"

"Ohhh shit that is AMAZING!" she was referring to the style of the building he lived in and not the fact that they lived next door, "YOU ARE the lucky bastard who got that penthouse I wanted it!"

"I'll show you it sometime if you'd like…" he smiled weakly, "are you enjoying Gotham?"

…

An hour or so later they both exited the restaurant with his jacket over her shoulders since it was cold out, and his arm was wrapped around her waist as they laughed loudly about something that went on in the restaurant.

"Fuck!" Mindy leaned into Bruce's chest and coughed she laughed so hard.

"EASY!" he rubbed her back until she stopped and they smiled at each other.

"Thank you…" she shrugged as paparazzi began to swarm them to catch pictures of the two together, "I really had a nice time."

"I'm glad" he nodded while tightening his hold on her waist, "I enjoy your company."

"So I guess I will uhh…" she motioned to the parked limousine in front of them, "see you around."

"You're right next door to me" he pulled out his card for the valet to fetch his car, "Why don't I take you home?"

"Oh, that is" she went to stop him when he shook his head and looked down at her.

"I insist." Couldn't argue that.

"Alrighty…" she signaled for the driver to leave when a charcoal Lamborghini pulled up in front of them and her jaw almost hit the floor.

"This is us" his arm wrapped her closer to him and he waited for the door to actually lift all the way into the air before helping her into the convertible with the top down.

Still in shock, she sat down and watched the door close before he headed over to the other side and got in. She waited for him to make the crazy door slide down and begin to drive away before speaking.

"Look," she was in awe, "I love my little Carrera and all, she is my best friend I have her in every color…" she placed a hand on the console and gasped as he sped like a demon through the streets of Gotham, actually frightening her to find someone that was not only richer than her but drove faster than she did. "But this is friggin' amazing."

"What?" he for some reason wasn't so fazed that she was marveled by the Lamborghini. For him this was just a car. "This?" he smirked, "I like it too."

"From one demon speeder to another, you drive like a lunatic" she gasped as he floored it yet again and the engine became really loud. Her nails dug into his forearm accidentally and it made him smile, checking the road before flooring it even faster and weaving through cars as if they were an annoyance. He drove on the wrong side of the road at certain points but he was going so fast Mindy had no way of knowing until he came close to whacking someone. "BRUCE!"

He chuckled, "Don't worry" he tore his eyes from the road only for a moment to catch the fear in her eyes so he kissed one of her little hands, "I'm a natural."

"You better hope so" she nodded while looking out the window, "I do not think my Trisha Anne would be too happy if I came home in all little chunks."

"You and your sister are very close, aren't you?"

Mindy nodded while moving her gaze from the window to his face, "I would stake myself for her even though she is a pain in my ass" she frowned while searching for a plug of some type, "Do you have an iPod adaptor?"

"I do" he extended a hand and she placed it in before waiting for him to put it on, "though I don't own one myself"

"THAT IS going to change REAL soon" she skimmed and found 'California' by Hollywood Undead, "I will start you off light…" the song started playing and already Mindy started bobbing and singing along, "this is one of my favorites it is called California." He nodded and remained silent even as the heavy lyrics kicked in and Mindy sang every line. "I live in both Bel-Air and Malibu…after I came here from Toronto" she did speak with a thick Canadian accent, but it was so bad it was cute. Instead of criticizing because he technically had no say in the matter, he allowed himself to simply remain quiet and listen to her angelic mezzo-soprano voice singing along to the crude and harsh rap metal.

…

Bruce pulled the car to a stop in front of their buildings and placed a hand on her arm with a smile.

"I really…" he looked her in the eye and for a moment they both seemed mesmerized by the other, "would like a second date."

She grinned.

"And maybe a third"

"How about a fourth?" she ribbed, moving to get out of the car when he held her arm.

"I'll walk you in, I own the place"

"See…" frowning she touched his bicep gently, "as much as I would appreciate that" looking him over she shook her head, "I do not think I can control myself" she giggled nervously when a hand of his went to her face and they kissed for a good butterfly-installing five seconds before pulling only inches away to look the other in the eye and Mindy licked her lips subtly.

Meh, what the hell. He went to shut the engine to walk her inside despite her wishes when she practically jumped over the console to hug his neck and kiss him, weaving a hand in his soft hair once the innocent kissing turned into making out.

At first he remained a good boy and kept his hands only on her face and hair, but slowly the travelled further downward to the point that the sides of her chest were being touched. She wanted him to do much more than that, hell, she would have brought him up to her room and fucked him like crazy if Trish and her kids weren't in there…but as far as they went he wasn't aware they existed. Nervously she pulled back.

"I want to see you again" he panted while handing her his phone to stick her number in, "What are you doing tomorrow?"

"Afternoon?" she clarified again while handing him back his phone and handing him hers, "Plug in your house incase you are being a dope and not picking up your cell."

"First one is the penthouse" he showed her the label and she nodded, "second is Wayne Manor. I promise I'll take you to see the horses"

She shrugged, "My days when I am not doing shit for my band are not all-too fun filled."

"So spend them with me" he grinned cheekily.

"Maybe…" she smirked while elbowing him, "If I feel like it."

"I'll find a different place for us tomorrow" he smoothed her hair, "I'll send you a text message once I make the reservation"

"Sounds lovely" she giggled while leaning to give him another firm kiss on the lips, "Anywhere you want, I am a garbage disposal."

"Let me walk you to the door, please" he pleaded while allowing both their doors to rise, "It's the least I can do."

"Ya already PAID for me-"

"You'll never pay another cent, please allow me" locking his car for a minute he took her hand and let her keep his jacket over her shoulders, "You can keep it."

"But-"

"You think I only have one suit?" he led her inside, standing in the elevator trying to avoid kissing her the whole way up until they got to the door, which she smiled weakly and gave him several huge kisses before shooing him away. "You can't kick me out of my own building! I can evict you, you know"

"Scram! I will see you tomorrow!"

"I look forward to it, Miranda."

As he gave her hand a final kiss and left she waited for the elevator doors to close before licking her lips and giggling.

_You're a guy, that's alright  
There's nothing more and nothing less  
You are what you are and it is what it is  
Take your time, it's no crime  
I know eventually you'll call__  
_

_And that's just fine_  
_Do what you do but just be mine_


	7. Chapter 7: Only Human

**A/N: Thank you! :D**

Trish moved along the streets of Gotham at night while Viper stood nearby with a loaded gun ready to fire god forbid something happened to her. Batman's signal was already high in the sky since a report of strange noises was brought to the police in an old steelworks warehouse. Pressing her ear to the door, Trish heard shuffling in the building that was condemned and she nodded before pressing into her mic.

"They're right, Viper" she nodded, "Something's off."

"Don't go IN by yourself!" the handsome young man replied in a hiss, shaking his head knowingly at her and trying to find a sneaky entrance inside. He found Trish amidst in the darkness, "I hope that bat gets here I'm not getting my ass fired again"

"You've done your part" the raspy voice snapped nastily behind him, "Back off."

"Wah!" Trish held a hand over her heart while staring at the Dark Knight, "DON'T do that!"

He didn't even react to her; he simply shot Viper a glare and narrowed his eyes which were surrounded completely by black eyeliner of sorts.

"Get out of here" Batman hissed at both Viper and Trish, "I don't need you."

"But-" Trish went to interrupt when Batman shot a grapple hook towards a broken window and was ripped all the way up, "ASShole!"

"Fuck him" Viper sneered before wrapping an arm around Trish and lingering outside the building, "Thinks who the fuck he is he's just a guy in a cape" his walkie talkie came out which worried Trish.

"Randall, don't do that"

"I don't give a FUCK what he said he's not a cop" his eyes narrowed intensely as Batman snuck into the warehouse by himself, "He can't get fired. I'm calling Gordon."

…

"Seriously could you be any LOUDER?" Minx groaned as the Joker's henchmen pulled different sharp metal objects out of discarded useless piles, "You are not actually supposed to DO anything" she rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her large near-exposed chest, "god!"

She was too busy being annoyed to notice the man watching her from the shadows. He had a tranquilizer gun ready to stun her when police sirens caught her attention.

"Ohhh mother FUCKER! You IDIOTS!"

Batman's eyes could only narrow as Minx tried to usher them all out; Viper had called Gordon, he knew it. He'd have that cocky bastard's neck the moment he found him.

"Like seriously? This had to happen? Do you fuckers realize how dead I am?" Minx growled when a voice came from the shadows.

"You'll be lucky if you return in pieces."

Minx gasped, whipped her head to the right, and screamed. Out of the shadows Batman launched himself at her by spreading his arms out so his memory cloth cape expanded and helped him glide.

"Shit!" she yelped and luckily leaped onto a pipe like a cat from mid-air and balanced on it.

Though he'd missed her he was able to grab hold of a long bar hanging from the ceiling and fired his stun gun at her, which made her yelp and dodge it again; he forgot cats were very good with their reflexes. She hissed at him and stood on a platform, flying towards him at top-speed when he grabbed her wrist and twisted it to the point that it almost broke, making her hiss and scratch him across the face. His mask prevented any real damage though he did now have claw marks on it.

Minx released a sound equivalent to that of a wildcat before pouncing on him. With a firm kick to her gut he knocked her off, causing her to scream and double over. That shit hurt like a thousand bitches in heat.

"Here, kitty kitty…" he readied one of his Batarangs to fling at her and she seemed amused, purring for a moment before dodging and flying over his head as police burst into the building and shone their flashlights around.

"Hey!" Minx waved to Batman from the outside window and kicked the glass in once she caught his attention, forcing him to turn away and cover himself with his cape as not to get slashed up.

She laughed manically while flying up onto the roof, checking to make sure her men got out of the area just fine before being hooked around the ankle by the Batclaw.

"WAH!" yelping she fell to the ground and was ripped by her foot towards Batman, who had magically gotten onto the roof. "OW! Yo! Stop it!"

He went to lift her when she flew into the air and slashed the line off her foot with her claws. Snarling he lunged to grab her when she kicked him in the face and flew a good ten feet in the air, throwing her arms out and hissing dangerously before swooping down and kicking him off the roof. She slashed at him to make sure he went down, but an emergency staircase stopped his fall and he landed flat on his back.

Helicopters were hovering over the roof and Minx could only laugh because she was perched on a super-skinny rail over the temporarily injured Batman since he landed flat on his back, but he managed to swing a fist and nail her right in the chest. She yelped and hissed, jumping on him only to get smashed into the brick wall. Yelping louder she launched right back on him; he tried to pull something out of his utility belt when she clawed at his face again and he dodged it. The roughing around on the grate got so heated they broke through the stairs and fell all the way to the ground the both of them still going at it, only Batman hit the parked car which flipped Minx onto the floor first.

"AGH!" she cried out and whimpered. The police searching the premises caught Minx's attention and Batman held her throat, making her gag and dig her nail into his chin.

He ripped her out before she broke skin and she grabbed a dropped piece of metal off the floor. Minx literally pelted Batman with it until she was finally able to fly into the air and avoid any further advance from him.

"Fuck!" she watched Batman angrily stand and try to shoot something at her when she dodged it yet again, laughing nefariously before flying away. Batman clenched a fist ready to chase and take her out when searchlights were shone on him and he winced, doubling over and staring at the massive claw-marks in his costume.

The last person he wanted to see appeared about ten feet away from him.

"I TOLD YOU you couldn't take her out by yourself!" Viper shouted at him, which made Trish gasp and Gordon restrained her as Batman was up so fast Viper was seeing stars; he was grabbed around the neck and slammed against the brick wall. The other officers all rushed to the scene not to see the epic quarrel with Minx, but Batman with his hand wrapped around an officer's throat. For an intense moment the two stared at each other until Gordon stepped between them both.

"Please…" Gordon tried to reason with Batman, "Let him go."

"I don't expect arrogance from someone who was recently fired from their last job," Batman spat in his deep rasp when Trish stepped in to defend Viper.

"Speak for yourself!" she yelled at him before he looked at her contemptuously, "YOU were the one chasing us away when we probably would have had her!"

"Please" Gordon tried to break it up, but when he looked back to talk to Batman he was gone.

"What a son of a bitch" Viper sneered while rubbing his throat, slowly shaking his head at the vigilante's disappearing act.

…

"I can't catch her, Alfred" Bruce winced while trying to stitch his arm by himself in his makeshift Batcave underneath a shipyard owned by Wayne Enterprises, "She flies away and that's it."

"I thought you had a stun gun?" Alfred cringed at the way Bruce was trying to stitch the various open wounds on his arms.

"I" Bruce winced again while threading the wound, "I do…" he shook his head, "but she's too fast she's like a cat in the air and on the ground."

"Surely you did a number on her, Sir" Alfred nodded while staring at a large picture of Minx on the screen, "With the types of wounds you're sporting I'm confident you had to have done at least some countable damage…" he looked down at Bruce wisely, "at the end of the day she's only human."

…

"FUCK!" Mindy hissed in pain while seated in Harley's quaint apartment as a rag was tied around a laceration on her arm. A couple of the henchmen stood around holding ice packs, rags, and whatnot while she sat practically naked on Harley's bed.

"Hold still and it won't hurt so much" Harley squeezed down on Mindy's hand until the claws retracted and her bitty fingers reappeared.

"I got" she kicked her feet again in pain before balling a fist as her massive wounds were dressed, "I got through his suit. It is not made of steel if you get the right hook into it, it is permeable."

"We know" Harley nodded stiffly before running a hand over the top of her head, "You weren't half bad for a rookie."

"Why thank you, Harleen" she grinned, "I do try."

"A little too hard if you ask me" Harley nodded stiffly while removing her own makeup, shaking out her long blonde hair as the suit peeled off her slender body and a silken robe went over her skin.

"You callin' me a twat?" that came out lightheartedly and Harley grinned.

She shook her head and handed the tiny Mindy a pair of pajama pants and a tank top she could put over herself, "Mistah J might…" she lifted a mug off her dresser and shooed the henchmen out of her boudoir so she could sit down on the bed with Mindy and hand her the mug, "Apparently you like hot chocolate"

"Thank you" Mindy actually blushed before snuggling against Harley. She didn't mind her when she was out of the costume or away from the Joker…it was any other time that she wanted to pimp slap her. Speaking of…Harley had a big black and blue below her eye and Mindy frowned, reaching up with gentle fingers to touch it. "He did this, didn't he?"

Harley didn't answer, but Mindy didn't need her to.

"Do you honestly believe for a second that he may even remotely like you?"

"Of course he does" Harley responded stubbornly, which worried Mindy greatly, "He's my boyfriend."

"But…" again Mindy frowned and rubbed her back, "did you ever think that maybe he is just using you and being a dick?"

"I-" she twisted a comforter in her hands when Mindy took both of them in one of her child-sized ones.

"He is schizophrenic, love bug" she shook her head and frowned.

"Oh, and YOU would know?" Harley spat and Mindy went quiet, buying Harley the time to notice the almost antique-looking wedding bands on Mindy's finger. "What was he like?"

"Who?" Mindy frowned until she followed Harley's eyes to her wedding rings and shrugged somberly.

"Did he hit you?"

"Not HIM…" Mindy's hand went over the corners of her mouth and stroked uncomfortably.

_A nineteen-year-old heavy pregnant blonde tanned Mindy screamed bloody murder after being slammed against a wall by her hair. A group of strange men wearing leather jackets surrounded her while one ripped a knife out of his pocket, making the starlet gag and scream._

"My husband was very smart…" she nodded weakly while squeezing Harley's hands and feeling too sick to drink her own hot chocolate, "very very very smart man…but he let it go to waste. My father-in-law did not help much with that all he did was beat the fucking shit out of my husband and mother-in-law. Now, Daddy-in-law was an alcoholic I knew him very well, he used to beat Mommy-in-law I have her rings" she held up the ring finger so Harley could study the pretty things, "He asked me to marry him when we were eleven, and his mommy knew he meant it even though we were babies so she gave him her rings before his daddy killed her the next day when he was drunk. That fucked my husband up we were such babies when it happened"

"And you said he was smart?"

"I wanted him to be an engineer" she nodded wisely, "he woulda been amazing"

"So what'd he do until you started bringing the green home?"

"Well…" she sighed and ran a hand through her hair, "we moved out, got a SHITTY fucking apartment but we were kiddies we did not care. It was one-a those, 'oh, we are so in love it does not matter' bullshit deals."

"_Jack" eighteen-year-old Mindy stood by the kitchen window and shook her head while listening to the banging on the door of their tiny one-bedroom apartment in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. _

_The blonde man appeared behind her and placed both his hands on her hips before moving the little body flush against his so he could kiss her throat._

"_Please, please, PLEASE do not tell me you pissed the landlord off again" she shook her head and spun around so both her arms could lock around his neck, "If we wanna stay here we HAVE to be nice!"_

"_Kitten" he shook his head and poked her nose, "my 'goals' are YOU finishing that album and making radio"_

"_And then what?" she shrugged, "Radio does not do shit, Jack and you know it. My album needs to come OUT first before any of this shit goes down. It is one dollar for every album sold I go platinum that is a million"_

"_C'mere…" he bumped his nose against hers quickly and grabbed her butt with one hand as they kissed, "I…love you…very much…alright?"_

_She nodded, owl-eyed. _

"_So you'll promise to listen when I tell you that everything's going to be alright…" he nodded at her before running his fingers through the hip-length bleached blonde hair, "I'm a man of my word…" _

_She nodded, still owl-eyed. _

"_But Jack" she licked her lips quickly after they kissed again and kept her arms tight around his torso, "when does this end?" she scowled and shook her head, "I want BABIES, Jack! I want a family, okay? Famous is nice, but you do not get I want YOU! I want YOU, Jack, who CARES about-"_

"_I do, alright?" he nodded at her before kissing all up her throat and behind her ear, "You have the god damn world in front of you and you're too stubborn to see it yet, but I DO and I won't let that go—you're fucking signed to a label, Kitten! This is your dream, you're about to live it!" _

_Her eyes watered before his next sentence and she sprang up hooking her legs around his waist, forcing the landlord outside to wait because the couple didn't care. Kissing him as deeply as she could, Mindy pumped her hips against his until he pressed her back to the wall and let her stay there coiled onto him. She couldn't even watch she was giggling so hard, nipping his ear and running her fingers through his long wavy blonde hair. _

"_I LOVE you…" he nodded an inch away from her face while gently pushing his lower body into hers, loving the way she gasped and sighed his name, "and once you make it big I'll go back to school" he shrugged, "maybe get my GED," he kissed her the moment she smiled, "become a real 'engineer' like you always wanted" again her smile was contagious, "and we'll just live happily ever fucking after, won't we?"_

"_Mhm" she nodded while clutching him closer, "and until then you are dying in chemical plant hell"_

"_So?" he shrugged and shot the door the finger, making her gasp from laughing so hard and shake her head frantically, "Fuck him. He's on MY time, sweetheart I PAID he's just a mongering-" _

"_That is…" she frowned and nuzzled him closer, "if it really still is YOUR time"_

"_Pfft" he snorted, "THAT guy out there?" he waved her off, "Kitten, I promise you I've got him in the palm of my hand"_

"_I love you" she sniffled and nodded as his pressure inside her core increased, "like…" she kept his mouth on hers and nodded, "more than anyone ever"_

"_And what about me, huh?" he shrugged playfully and started kissing her back equally as passionately, "Do I have any say in this situation of affairs here?" _

_She gave him the doe eyes and he nodded._

"_I…" he tried to take his sweet time finishing them off and nodded, "I love you" her cat claws dug into his shirt the moment she came and ripped through the fabric, which made him snicker and shake his head at her slowly; knowing there were tears in his shirt, "Seriously?"_

"_I am sorry"_

"_No you're not" he shook his head, "And I'll be back for you once I straighten him out, alright?"_

_She whimpered and shook her head, which made him lift her eyes to him and force a nod._

"_YES" his hands ran through her hair and he knocked their foreheads together, "I'll be BACK" they kissed and he ran his fingers through her hair, "No no shush-shush-shush-shush-shush" his hands went through her hair harder as she began to sob loudly, "I'll be FINE, you'll be FINE, we'll be FINE, alright?"_

_She sniffled and tried to force a nod._

"_I was thinking" he shuffled for a second before shrugging and keeping his eyes averted, "maybe we could…" he shrugged again nervously, "I don't know…try for a baby if you skip the pill tomorrow"_

_She squealed loudly and stopped crying, throwing her arms around his neck and not removing her legs from being around his waist. _

"Awwww…what a SWEETHEART" Harley frowned and rubbed the top of Mindy's hand, though the raven-haired rock star shook her head and bit her lip; actually vibrating where she sat until Harley lifted the mug to her mouth and let her drink, "Relax, Miss Kitty! Nothing's coming for ya"

Mindy's hands went to the sides of her mouth and frantically she shook her head.

"You want some cobbler?" Harley asked while running her fingers through the straightened strands on Mindy's head and heading towards the door to go to the kitchen, "It's peach, I know you like that kinda stuff"

"Is it tasty?" she grinned while peering at the doorway.


	8. Chapter 8: She's Schizophrenic

**A/N: Thank you!**

Mindy and Bruce actually met the next afternoon right outside La Reve, a French restaurant in uptown Gotham and naturally the pair looked absolutely stunning. Of course Bruce was in a suit, but Mindy showed up with her hair loosely curled and deep red lipstick to help the vibrant yellow Marc Jacobs dress which had a gold brooch of sorts in the center of the low-cut chest and hung off her shoulders. To be a little extra playful but still leave some to the imagination, the dress cut off slightly below her chest and swooped a bit around the back revealing a strip of skin on both sides.

Politely they shared two kisses before he led her inside by the hand (which she clasped with both of hers) to the best table in the house so they could be the center of attention.

…

"So when is your show?" Bruce asked unobtrusively, fiddling with his glass of water before reaching and taking Mindy's hand in his as she worked on her duck dish.

"Um" she held a hand over her mouth as she chewed before swallowing and pointing her fork in his direction, "two days I think…had other shit to do like photoshoots and whatnot but I do them during the day."

"Well that's good" he nodded, going to ask her something else when she spoke up.

"How old are you?"

"Thirty-one"

"Oh!" she grinned, "You're like, a little over me I am almost twenty-nine."

He smirked, "You look a bit like a college kid"

"Aww thank you!" she waved him off, "You are such a parasitic flatterer."

"You mean sycophantic?" he frowned and she shrugged, nodding along.

"Sure"

"Would you rather I pick on you?"

"No, that would not be fair if I did not give ya a fair shot" she shrugged while adjusting her hold on his hand, "I just did not want ya t' get your hopes up because you are WAY more into me than I am into you."

He tried not to appear hurt, but she knew that stung.

"I mean, you are absolutely gorgeous I am SO attracted to you…" she shook her head faintly, "but I told you WAY more about myself than you have told me about you."

"Well what's it matter?" he countered gently, "I'm boring."

"Not according to your trashy reputation"

"What'd you Wikipedia my name last night?"

"My sister's a cop she knows everything" she reminded him, "But I like you, I do. Do not get me wrong."

"What would you like to know about me, then?" he asked kindly while holding onto her hand like a lifeline.

Taking another bite of her food she pouted her lips before drinking her Sex on the Beach, "Do you live by yourself?"

"Just me and Alfred" he nodded, "I'm an only child."

"Okay, that is cool" she curled her lips in to try and find another question, "How long ago was your last serious relationship?"

Pausing to think about that, he dropped his eyes and shook his head, "She's dead."

There was a companionable silence for a moment as she soaked that all in before trying to find something to say.

"What about you?"

She perked.

"Any psycho ex-boyfriends I should be aware of?"

She gulped, "I cannot talk about him."

"You live together?" he internally cringed when she shook her head with a snort.

"He is dead"

"Oh Christ…" he frowned, "I'm so sorry"

"Do not worry yourself" she glared at her empty plate before having it cleared and handed a dessert menu, "I love chocolate mousse when they put it over cake."

"Oh that's right, you're the sweet tooth" he reminded himself with a grin, "Get whatever you want."

"You would not make me feel bad, would you?" she raised a shapely eyebrow while noticing he wasn't looking at a dessert menu.

"I'll share with you, if that's alright" he declined kindly, "Alfred overfed me this morning"

"You are so helpless" she shook her head with a chuckle, "If you were a goldfish you would explode."

…

"Hey!"

He tried to swipe her fork away as they shared chocolate mousse over a slice of chocolate cake about ten minutes later, but Mindy refused.

"Shoulda gotten your OWN then" she forked a piece in her mouth and shook her head, "Here" she speared a piece and held it up to his mouth, finally allowing him to take a bite and he liked it, "now you know next time to get your own."

"Do you know how to make this?" he asked while trying to swipe some with his finger and she slapped his hand.

"I am Greek I can make anything" she licked the finger that had some dessert on it and kissed his knuckles, "You shoulda asked me to come over and make you something."

"Maybe we'll do that tomorrow then" he raised both eyebrows before leaning over and placing a sweet kiss on her lips, "What do you say?"

"Date" she grinned.

"Would you like me to walk over and pick you up at your door?"

"Don't you ever work?" she asked skeptically when he shrugged.

"Technically I'm the owner I don't have to."

"Oh, alright" she spoon-fed him again before leaning on his arm since he was sitting right next to her, "tomorrow will be nice then."

…

They held hands while taking a casual stroll around the uptown, possibly scoping out date locations when he took her into a jewelry store and bought her a diamond bracelet. To demonstrate her appreciation they made out on the sidewalk outside the store, in the car before and after he arrived outside their buildings, and against the wall right outside her door. His hands slid down the sides of her chest once more and she allowed him to keep them there since her hands were wandering around his abdomen as well. He ran a hand over her stomach and travelled further south when she slipped out from under him and pointed at him in warning.

"I told you" she pouted as he came back over while giving her a puppy face so they kissed again, "Yes, yes see you tomorrow. Go…" she motioned towards the elevator, "work…or something!"

"I'll do something" he ribbed while leaning to kiss her to the point that she grabbed his face and deepened it when Trish opened the door and found them.

"Meem?" she gasped when the couple pulled back and Bruce gave her a nod.

"I own this building, Miss" he nodded to appease Trish, "don't worry about me."

"Bruce Wayne?" she gasped when Mindy gave his hand an extra squeeze and they kissed quickly.

"Keep your phone by you, Miranda" he gave her a nod as he left, "I'll call you."

"Meem!" Trish whispered hoarsely as he left, "That's Bruce fricken' Wayne I didn't think you were serious!"

"Meh" Mindy shrugged while walking into the house, "He is alright, he buys me stuff" she showed Trish the bracelet and her eyes popped, "Why are you not at work?"

"Came home to collect a few things durin' my lunch break" Trish nodded while smirking at her sister, "So how far have you gone already?"

"Honestly?" Mindy said apathetically, "I am not too crazy about him."

"Give him a chance; it's Bruce Wayne for Christ's sake! If you can nail HIM" she watched Mindy's face, "in an emotional sense I mean…he'll make you really happy."

"I have five spawns, Trisha Anne" Mindy said coldly, "Still have not told him THAT one. Rich or not nobody wants kids that are not theirs."

"But it's Bruce Wayne! PLEASE try for me? TRY to like him!"

"I DO like him" Mindy nodded with a furrowed brow, "I like him a lot. Despite being a brat he is kinda sweet."

…

"He attacked that cop, you know" Harley informed the Joker while resting her feet up at that table the Falcone's were previously sitting around, "Grabbed him right up by his neck for stripping some pride" she giggled a bit even though the Joker seemed highly uninterested, "Ain't that great, Puddin'?"

"Fan-TAS-tic" he shot her a sarcastic glare before stepping behind her and a shrill ran up her spine from it, already giving him the doe eyes as he paced around her with his arms behind his back.

"He didn't hesitate to beat on Miss Kitty either"

"Nah…" holding up a finger he shook his head, "He wouldn't DARE, you see…" he shook his head and had to bite back the laugh, "he doesn't have the balls to do a horrid thing such as" his voice rose cruelly, "strike a woman across the face and beat her within an inch of her life" his tone switched gears to normal, "no…that's not the way he works."

Harley frowned before shrugging, "Miss Kitty said she kept trying to keep the boys quiet but they didn't do so well"

"And I will…" he cringed a moment, "deal with that accordingly, but I NEED…" he got in her face and she grinned, "Harley…" he moved back again, "more than 'they were loud'. 'Noise' as we like to call it is any disturbance in sending a message…there's a range of noise from nonverbal to the common yelling and screaming…do you understand me, Harley?"

"She said they were touchin' things" Harley finally nodded, "Is that good enough evidence for ya?"

"Whyyy?" he drew out and asked with a cringe, "Were they touching…anything…when all they had to do was STAND THERE to get Bat-breath's attention? Huh?" he grabbed Harley by the neck and she gagged, "WHY is a little COOPERATION too much to ask for?"

"Because you're dealin' with mostly paranoid schizophrenics and ex-patients?"

"…" he gritted his teeth and groaned a bit before reluctantly forcing a shrug, "THAT too…"

"Don't hurt yourself, Puddin'" she giggled loudly and reached to wrap an arm around him when he purposely moved as far off as he could get himself and headed out of the room, flicking the knife out of his pocket to go teach his men a lesson in following orders.

…

"_Why you so obsessed with me? Boy I want to know," _Minx sang gaily while kicking a discarded can down the empty Gotham side-street near the power plant at around midnight with Harley and a bunch of men trailing not far behind her from the shadows. Minx's hooded baby blue cat eyes glowed intensely like a little beacon reflecting the streetlights to sort of guide them through the streets, _"Lyin' that you're sexing me. When everybody knows, it's clear that you're upset with me. Ohh, finally found a girl that you couldn't impress,"_

"She's a nut" one of the men in a clown mask said to Harley, "I think she might be loonier than you."

That made the ex-psychiatrist's blood boil for a moment at the very thought of it, "She's schizophrenic" Harley answered shortly, not caring if that information was classified or not, "She's had paranoid schizophrenia her entire life that perky sister of hers feeds her brain through a straw every morning, alright?"

Minx had attracted attention from a couple men standing around a car; they whistled at her and laughed.

"Heey, pretty lady!" a white guy with spiked hair and sweatpants called to her, making her lick her lips and drop her hood, heading over.

"Where you goin'?" another called to her as she popped her weight and stuck her chest further out.

"I dunno" Minx shrugged daintily while twirling her hair, "Where would you LIKE me to go?"

The group all looked to each other and snickered.

"Oh, I know where I'd like you to go…!" one of them nodded to her and stood toe-to-toe with her, running a hand between her legs as she seemingly invited it when out of nowhere his neck literally twisted all the way around and he fell to the floor.

"WAH!" Minx stepped back for a second until the familiar shadow headed towards the car and grabbed two men at once, holding them by their hair and smashing their heads together like cymbals, "ACK!" stumbling backwards Minx spun into the air about seven feet above the ground as a bunch of men appeared close to the vehicle, actually lifting the car with the driver in it and throwing it THROUGH the building right next to it, "FUCK!"

A huge fire rose from the building the car was chucked through while Harley laughed setting up bitty explosives and held a pistol in her hand.

"You think I AM heavy-handed?" Minx gasped at the bunch.

"I'd say so."

"WAHH!" Minx ripped her hood up when the owner to that hoarse rasp grabbed her foot and ripped her to the ground, twisting her ankle, "OW! FUCK!"

That caught the masked men's attention. They immediately made it their business to surround the man who grabbed both Minx's wrists to restrain her claws when she swept a leg around from her spot on the ground and decked him.

Batman growled while trying to cuff her when two bullets from long barreled guns collided over his head, making him flip off Minx while pinning her to see that two people had simultaneously fired at him right before Minx decked him.

"FUCK" Minx growled while looking to both directions, "Take your time, seriously!"

Batman looked to both directions and saw the group quickly surround him in an obvious attempt to intimidate, locking and loading their firearms. That visual only lasted a second because after a round of manic laughter, Harley had snuck Batarangs from Batman's utility belt and had used them to knock out the generators which powered that grid of the city, coating Gotham in shadow so Batman was left completely in the dark.

Luckily he had a flashlight; Minx's eyes glowed in the dark so he could see them.

"Hey!" that was Minx from above, "Ya dropped these, honey-pie!" black metal handcuffs hit him on the head and he didn't bother picking them up, he knew what would happen.

"Hey! B-man!" came that high-pitched irritating voice of Harley, so with a sick smirk and a flamethrower she sent a line of fire his way.

Though he shielded himself with his cape, Batman did catch fire. He fell to the damp ground and rolled until his armored costume dried off, but that didn't help that he was picked up to his feet by two men. Batman popped a little Batarang and ripped it across an assailant's hand; the clown hissed in pain and released his hold on Batman. The Dark Knight leapt onto him and continued pounding him with the sharp metal object, actually piercing his side when he was ripped off and slammed into the nearest brick wall by Harley Quinn, who began to stalk over when there was a meow.

"Oh are YOU kidding me…" Harley hissed as a giggling Minx dropped on top of Batman and laughed loudly in her high little voice.

"GOTCHA!" she tackled and held his throat to the floor with her claws much to the self-proclaimed Princess of Crime's distaste.

"MINXY!" Harley shouted angrily for her interrupting her fun when Batman literally monkey-flipped Minx over his head and she stopped herself before smacking her back to the ground, flipping and landing on all fours like a cat.

Barring her teeth she hissed and charged towards Batman, who had rolled onto his stomach to prepare for her when he was slammed against the wall again by Harley.

"Heyyy!"Minx whined while looking to Quinn, "I got him I got him!"

"Obviously NOT" Harley hissed while grabbing for him when Batman ripped Minx's hood off from behind and grabbed her by the hair, making her shriek as he fired a grapple hook at a rooftop and they both went up, much to the confusion and anger of the henchmen. "Are you kidding?" Harley shrieked with a shake of the head, "Are you kidding me?"

"No" came the Joker's voice as he gave his men the signal and they went inside pouring gasoline about, "now get out of the way before you join them"

Harley actually started to giggle thinking his plan was to kill Minx when the Joker rolled his eyes and looked up with a squint even though it was nighttime.

"Get out of there, Kitten" he lit the place up after it was doused with a match.

"They're good as dead anyway" one of the henchmen said as the Joker backed away while shaking his head.

"No, no, no…" he waved him off and began to circle the building while holding a heavy machine gun at his side, "that's my diamond in the rough" he wrinkled his nose before giving a nod, "She'll be fine."

"I thought I was your diamond, Puddin'" Harley swayed waywardly at his side when the Joker looked her over and scowled.

"Okay…" he motioned towards her with his mega-gun, "YOU sprout talons when someone pisses you off and we'll see how shiny you get on my scale."

…

With a snarl Minx struggled to get her hair out of Batman's hand when she slashed through his armored suit yet again, clawing right across his chest with her extremely powerful claws and ripping at him. He clenched his teeth and literally slammed her to the ground with a single arm.

"AHHH!" she moaned the moment she landed on her stomach, ripping her hood up and whimpering when he stepped on her spine to lift her hood off. The ceiling gave in but only Batman fell in and not Minx, who caught herself in the air and flew out.

Using her cat-like night vision to locate him in the burning mess she laughed while holding a hand over her aching gut. She did a bit of a victory dance when a gun of some sort was fired at her, but her reflexes picked it up and she dodged it.

"Silly Batman!" she shook her head while tantalizingly flying lower into the burning wreckage to gloat, but he was gone. "Where did you go?"

"Right here."

"ACK!" spinning around, she backed a bit before kicking him in the side of the head so she could remount and slash his chest up more.

Her nails were going so deep into his chest bloodied hunks of skin were coming up under her nails when he punched her HARD below her eye and she screamed in pain. He didn't give a shit though. He just crawled on top and continued to pound away at her head from frustration when she disappeared from underneath and the lights all turned back on showing police vehicles, no Minx, and a smug Viper staring right up at him.


	9. Chapter 9: Surgery

**A/N: Thank you! :)!**

"Christ, Mr. Wayne…" Lucius Fox shook his head while examining the damage done by both fire and Minx to the Batsuit in one of his labs. Bruce stood hovering over him like an expectant father trying to see over his shoulder. Lucius was actually two inches taller than Bruce standing at six-foot-two. "What DID you run into?"

"One really nasty cat" Bruce didn't realize the way that sounded, so the old African American with white hair turned to him and tried not to chuckle.

"A cat, Mr. Wayne?"

"Yeah" Bruce nodded curtly, "You've never come across one of those alley cats?"

The Batsuit was literally in tatters for the second time.

"Can't say I have, Mr. Wayne" he shook his head with a sigh, "Looks like Minxy ripped you right to the core."

"They uh…" sheepishly he pointed to his severely damaged cape, "burned my cape too."

Lucius shook his head with a sigh, "The way I improved the material after the dog bite should have solved all types of animals"

"She's got claws bigger than my head!" Bruce demonstrated with his hands, but looked a bit silly and stopped, "I think we're going to need something more durable."

"Like titanium?" Fox was teasing, but Bruce actually seemed to buy it, "I was kidding, Mr. Wayne."

Bruce hid the slight embarrassment, "I know."

Smirking wryly Lucius nodded along and went to continue elaborating on the changes necessary to toughen the suit when Bruce checked his watch and cringed.

"Hey I…" he gulped, "would love to stay, but-"

"Go, Mr. Wayne" Lucius sighed with a knowing shake of the head, "I should have it ready for you by tonight."

"Thank you" Bruce gave him a quick nod and headed out.

…

"Bruce says you have known him for a long time" Mindy said from her spot neatly situated on one of the white couches in the penthouse as Alfred walked over with a teapot and teacup to keep her occupied.

They had been having some small talk and immediately at the door he liked the way she presented herself. She was respectful, greeted him with a smile and shook his hand, didn't right away ask where Bruce was but actually spoke with him about this and that. He was more appalled than anything at the way she was dressed, the women Bruce typically dated looked nothing like her (she was too short, pale, and curvy). Mindy wore a deep purple Juicy Couture tracksuit with a white tank top underneath and white sandals; cute as a button, but simply not Bruce's 'type'.

The old Englishman gave her a nod while pouring her a cup of Chamomile.

"Oh, thank you!" she flashed her teeth in appreciation and received the little cup from him.

"You're very welcome, Miss" he nodded before answering her question, "I raised him after his mother and father passed."

Her voice dropped meekly, "He told me something about that"

"Do you have family, Miss Stratigias?" he didn't sit, but stood close by with his arms at his sides.

Mindy took a quick sip of her tea before spooning some more sugar in it and nodding. Her lengthy raven hair was in a loose thick braid which trailed all the way down the front of her body to her hip. Even the makeup was minimal; it was completely throwing him off.

"Mhm" she smiled sweetly and stirred a little teaspoon to get the sugar swirling, "just me and my twin sister now…" they made eye contact, "she is a cop. Our Mommy and Daddy died…Trisha Anne-my sister" quickly she realized he'd have no way of knowing her name, "she has a husband, but no babies. I have five babies" she placed a dainty hand to her chest, "my oldest is six, my youngest is three."

"Excuse me for asking" he had to, "but, are you married?"

"Long story" she sighed, but shook her head, "I was married to my…" she curled her lips in a moment, "'childhood sweetheart' but he is no longer among us. Stratigias is my maiden name not my legal one."

"Sorry I'm late" a hand went over Mindy's shoulder and she craned her neck to smile at Bruce, "I was with a client and lost track of time."

Alfred could only shoot him a look which Bruce caught and shrugged meekly.

"Mhm" she teased before placing her cup on the tray to stand and receive a kiss on the cheek.

"I hope Alfred here was worth his weight in salt and kept you occupied" Bruce smiled the moment Mindy turned to smile at Alfred and shake her head at Bruce.

"He was a very NICE host, thank you" she pointed to the tray before picking up her cup pointedly, "He made me tea, see?"

"How much sugar did you put in it?" he wrapped an arm around her and teased, walking with her into the kitchen and showing everything she had to work with.

"Do not worry about it" she poked his nose with the end of the spoon and grinned coyly.

"So you have all this" Bruce motioned to everything as she nodded satisfactorily at all the modern different appliances and cookware, "Teach me something."

"What would you like to make?" she shrugged as one of his hands moved from his pocket to rest on her upper back.

"Anything you want"

"NO" shaking her head she pointed at him, "this is YOUR house. We make what YOU want."

"Speaking of" he motioned to the grandeur of his twenty-five thousand square foot penthouse, "what do you think?"

"It is…" she shrugged, "amazing from what I got to see."

"You'll see it all" he winked at her and grabbed her butt while walking towards one of the cabinets.

"Hey!" she yelped and shook her head at him in astonishment, "Pig."

"Since you decided not to really buy into my idea of 'sharing' dessert yesterday" he pulled out a recipe and pointed to it, "You're going to teach me how to make it today as you promised."

"I did" she nodded amiably while glancing at the recipe, "You just better eat it if I make it or I will feel REAL bad."

"That's quite alright, Miss Stratigias" Alfred said from where he was putting away glass-drying linens in a cabinet, "If Master Bruce is in the mood for counting calories I will GLADLY take his place!"

Bruce could only shake his head at him while Mindy covered her mouth with a hand, being physically turned around by Bruce and having the both of his hands pressing into her hips.

"In that case I'll eat every bite" he gave Alfred a smug nod before actually nuzzling Mindy's neck as she started to mix some liquid ingredients in a bowl.

Blindly she craned her neck to be captured in a kiss. She dropped the mixing spoon and her hand went to the back of his head so the kiss could deepen when the hands that were on her hips went in separate directions after caressing her stomach under her shirt. One slid up towards her chest while the other went right down to go between her legs when she pulled away and purposely slammed her butt into him so he backed up.

"Hey!" tsking him for a moment she handed him the spoon and pointed to the bowl with a heavy sigh, "YOU mix that, okay? Or is that too difficult for you?"

"I've never lifted a spoon in my life" he lied, "please…" he gave her the eyes, "Miranda, I'm practically helpless in a kitchen setting."

"You will live" she sighed uncaringly while pulling out other ingredients and an electric mixer, "The mousse is the tricky part it has to be done right. I will do that and stick YOU on the cake…" their eyes met, "it is harder to mess up." His eyes narrowed and he shook his head.

…

The finished chocolate mousse cake sat on a countertop with what could resemble two slices worth taken out while the rest had a cover on top. Mindy was leaning over the counter innocently eating her cake in silence when she was grabbed around the waist and spun around before Bruce sat her on the high counter and practically devoured her mouth while standing between her legs.

"Hey!" she said mid-kiss while trying to gently beat him off, "Bonehead! No!"

"Yes" he whispered into her ear before continuing to kiss all over her jaw and down her neck.

"Mmm" she moaned while trying to get him off, "Stop it." Her hands went over his shoulders while his were wandering just about everywhere, "I am startin' to think you are takin' advantage of me."

He pouted his lips for a second before tilting her chin back to kiss all down her neck, which made her laugh and pull his head up to keep his mouth on hers. He tried to unzip her little velvety Juicy Couture jacket when she grabbed the fingers and almost broke them.

"No" she scolded while trying to sneak another piece of cake in her mouth, "Bonehead!" he had eaten the cake before it reached her mouth and she tapped the tip of his pointed nose for that, "You have your own!"

"I don't care" he shrugged while continuing to kiss her all over.

She motioned to the actual house they were in, "Where is my tour, Mr. Terrible Host?"

Begrudgingly he lifted her into a carry which made her laugh and he set her down, taking her hand in his and giving her a rough kiss before leading her around the ground floor. Alfred could only shake his head at Bruce's terrible case of Roman hands and Russian fingers. He couldn't have been rushing her upstairs any more if he tried. He adored her, he liked everything about her, but he was a young guy there were certain things he wanted out of a relationship at this stage in his life.

Alfred knew better once Bruce continued the tour of the place upstairs and there was no way that poor girl was going to be allowed to leave. Both times Bruce had come home from his dates with her his head was on cloud nine.

"This is a little uh…" Mindy observed he had two large glass panels in front of his large beige bed and nothing else, "not-so-private."

"Why bother?" he shrugged while tapping the thick glass, "It's only me and Alfred."

"I think we're gonna be having sex in the basement" she said with wide eyes.

"Why?" he smirked while sliding his hands along her hips, "Are you loud?"

"Keep going at this rate you will never find out" she poked his nose when he backed her to the edge while kissing her so she fell onto the bed and he climbed on top of her. He literally kissed her into the soft mattress while moving his hands under her little tank top to caress her stomach once more. "No" she said while making sure all his clothes stayed on much to his disappointment, "not yet."

He didn't like that at all, but she didn't give a damn. If he respected her he'd abide, and much to her shock he did.

She rolled out from under him and re-braided her hair; "I have to go" she lied before waiting for him to stand and fix himself with a frown.

"Why?" he asked gently, holding her chin gently and trying to look her in the eye, "Did I push you too much? I'm sorry" he panicked when she shook her head and jumped to give him a big wet kiss. He nodded while hugging her tight, kissing her neck and gripping her hair, "I haven't stopped thinking about you, Miranda Marie" he smiled gently.

Completely forgetting her excuse to leave because her eyes were becoming cloudy, she jumped up and wrapped her legs around his waist until he sat back down on the bed with her straddled over his lap.

…

"What are we doin' tomorrow?" Mindy asked gently by Bruce's door with her arms around his neck and one of his hands on her waist.

"You haven't seen Wayne Manor" he smiled thinly, "We just rebuilt it"

"You mean it got knocked down?" she frowned and clonked her forehead against his when he nodded and gave her a lingering kiss.

"I'll explain it to you in the car, how does that sound?"

"Like a date" she giggled and kissed behind his ear sensually before whispering, "And you smell AMAZING."

"What is this?" he smelled her arm, "Cookies?"

"Sugar cookie" she corrected with a peck to his lips, "My hair is coconut though"

"I love it" he weaved a hand in her hair before frowning at the way she kept looking to the door. "Are you sure you can't stay longer?"

She smirked at that plea though he didn't see it, turning and giving him another kiss, "Are you walking me home?"

He nodded and pecked under her jaw, "Alfred and I…" he motioned towards the Englishman who was pretending to be a ghost before going back to himself, "would really like it if you'd stay."

"I am sure Alfred will do just fine" she nodded with pouted lips and looked to the butler with a wave and smile, "I will see you tomorrow, Alfred! Thank you for everything!"

"Have a lovely rest of your day, Miss Stratigias" he gave her a smile before continuing his work.

"I'll be back, Alfred" Bruce gave him a nod before taking Mindy's hand, "I don't want her walking alone."

"God forbid she loses her way from this building to the next" Alfred muttered and caught Bruce's attention.

"What'd you say?"

"I said be careful when transferring buildings!" still ridiculous, but that was the message he was trying to send to Bruce.

The door closed and naturally they were all over the other. Eventually the novelty of their new-found passion would wear off, but for the time being might as well take advantage of it before real life settled in.

…

"Hello…?" Trish walked in the door to see Mindy and the four older children having a dance party to 'Love Me' by Justin Bieber as the three-year-old Chelsea simply sat there on the couch watching The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, "Hi, family!"

"Ooo! Trisha Anne!" Mindy grinned, flipped her hair over her head, and lifted Chelsea before jogging over and sliding to a stop to give Trish a kiss on the cheek. "How was work?"

Trish shrugged and checked her cell phone before closing the door, "Randall just keeps making crap worse for everyone because he has a beef with Batman."

"Who?" Mindy played dumb when Amber, Thorn, Scarlett, and Tryg all ran over to greet their aunt.

"Aunt Trisha Aunt Trisha!" they hugged her legs and smiled excitedly as Trish knelt down and kissed them all very quickly.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Trish hugged them all before looking up at Chelsea in Mindy's arm. "So are you and Bruce…?"

Mindy shrugged indifferently before walking away much to Trish's irritation.

"Hey!" immediately Trish followed Mindy into the kitchen to watch her pop a piece of popcorn in her mouth before grabbing a handful more, "Meemster! I wanna know!"

A maid pulled off Trish's coat and placed her bag down, though Trish gave no formal acknowledgement she was too focused on her sister's relationship status.

"What is there to know?" Mindy popped her weight and sat Chelsea on the vast counter space in front of her, turning on a separate TV in the kitchen to catch an 'MTV's Jersey Shore' re-run.

"Mommy can I sit?" Scarlett tugged Mindy's leg and with a nod Mindy lifted the little blue-eyed girl with lengthy pin-straight blonde hair. All her kids looked exactly the same; blonde hair, blue eyes, and beige-skinned.

"Mhm" Mindy sat her next to Chelsea as the three girls began to watch when Mindy left into the other room for Tryg.

Trish followed her in and shrugged, ignoring the thirty-five pound Serval sitting on the couch which belonged to Thorn and watching Mindy lift Tryg, "You're OBVIOUSLY really into each other if you keep insisting on seeing each other EVERY DAY"

"Trisha Anne" Mindy rolled her eyes and curled her lips.

"It's better than being married to a ghost!"

"You know what?" Mindy pinched the bridge of her nose while setting the toddler down in his room and heading into hers, closing the door shut.

"Mee-"

Mindy stripped her clothing and zipped up her plunge zipper, "Givin' me a migraine."

…

"A tad late to still be home, Master Wayne, don't you think?" Alfred said that night while watching Bruce smile at his crazy expensive cell phone once the text message from who he labeled 'Miranda Marie' saying, 'butthead' appeared in his inbox.

"It's quiet tonight" Bruce called back from one of his enormous balconies before typing, 'I'm just telling you the truth' and sending it back to her. Shaking his head knowingly as Bruce's phone went back into his pocket; Alfred slowly walked out and joined him on the balcony.

"Peculiar" he sighed while following Bruce's gaze to the streets below, "considering the monster that we've been plagued by, what makes you so sure that she would take the night off?"

"I haven't heard anything" leaning over the railing he peered into the night sky to try and find Batman's signal.

Deciding not to argue with him any further since he was speaking to dead ears, Alfred watched Bruce take his phone out again and smile to himself.

"Miss Stratigias I'm sure is not waiting around for your call…"

"And what?" he snapped back a bit coldly.

"Look…" he said calmly trying to look Bruce in the eye, but the young man was being an obstinate brat, "back when I told you that you should be dating movie stars…I meant it as something to occupy your time and lessen any public speculation that YOU could indeed be a masked vigilante"

"So what you're saying is" his hazel eyes narrowed, "that I'm not allowed to be with anyone that I actually care about…?" He shook his head and turned his back to walk inside, "Then forget Batman if I could never be with someone"

"Master Wayne!" the miffed old man followed him inside, "I'm not saying that it can't be done" he placed a hand on his shoulder, "you loved Miss Dawes very dearly"

He ran a hand over his face, "I can't keep doing this forever, Alfred. At some point I'd like to settle down, you know…" finally he felt like making eye contact, "have a family." Softening even more, Alfred sighed and placed a hand on Bruce's shoulder.

"When I first met Miss Stratigias the wheels in my head were turning and I asked myself," he smiled once he caught Bruce's attention, "'Why in God's good name would Master Bruce date a pint-sized casually dressed college-aged popular artist?' Until I learned that she was actually twenty-eight-years-old, quite a family girl herself, and only dressed well when she was going to an event which called for it…" he watched the thin smile spread across Bruce's face, "then I knew what exactly it was you thought and are still thinking of at this very moment" he shook his head and walked away, "I suggest you be very careful."

Exhaling deeply Bruce sat on one of his white couches and turned on the flat-screen TV to see Blackgate Penitentiary up in flames and convicts running rampant outside the grounds.

"Gotham Police have been doing all that they can to try and not only put out the fire, but collect and recapture these prisoners before they cause any further damage to the-" Bruce was off the couch before she finished the sentence while Alfred had to smugly call out to him.

"It's a real quiet night, sir!"

…

The Tumbler (Lucius Fox's name for the prototype vehicle that was now the tank-like Batmobile) zoomed through the streets of Gotham weaving in and out of traffic to get to the prison. It looked like a cross between a Lamborghini (naturally for Bruce) and a tank with no front axle. There was a pair of autocannons mounted in the nose of the vehicle between the front wheels. It also had a jet-engine in the back which was used for jumps…like he was about to do now.

Traffic stopped dead once it neared the bridge to get to the penitentiary, so activating the jet-engine he literally jumped over several cars and the landing hook was activated to spring landing stabilization as the heavy armor in the front of the car protected the driver from the façade of the building he accidentally skimmed since the vehicle was too wide for the sidewalk. He sped along anyway, almost wishing he had a horn installed to honk away pedestrians but oh well. He got to the bridge and literally pancaked the cop car that wouldn't let him pass, making the cops yelp and jump out of the way. There was once a police barricade but no more.

…

Directly outside the burning prison was none other than Harley Quinn with the Joker's men and Minx. The escaped prisoners were tossed guns and they fired, killing officers.

The Joker watched from the shadows of the burning building, taking absolutely no part in order to keep everything according to what he was told by Maroni. They'd advised in order to keep the speculation on Batman high that he hide his ass and not let anyone know he was truly around once again. Sure that was easier said than done though. Watching the girls have their little deal of fun and his own men going about wrecking shit just gave him a bit of a nostalgic pinch about his own adventures with the Caped Crusader.

Pinching the bridge of her nose for a moment, Harley looked to a bunch of masked gunmen and pointed towards the bridge, "Make sure nothing comes over."

With a nod the men stood in front of the rigged bridge, pressing a button and starting a massive explosion when out of the flames shot the Tumbler aiming directly for them. Immediately they dodged the vehicle and it had a bit of a bumpy landing, but tumbled over and managed to survive in one piece, which only could make the Joker smile dryly.

"What else you got for us, Bat-breath?"

The vehicle was on fire until the fire-extinguishing system sprayed it down and dripped down the sides. The only illumination was that of the blazing penitentiary and the light of Minx's eyes. Harley stood in front of the Tumbler with a sadistic grin across her white face.

"Come on, B-man!" she taunted with a wave, "Gimmie your best shot!"

The engine gunned and the Tumbler prepared to launch forwards at her.

VOOM!

The Tumbler zoomed at her, and once she side-stepped the vehicle's charge, the rear flaps heavily breaking made the Tumbler completely three-sixty.

Minx giggled and shook her hooded head, "That's YOUR tough luck! WAHH!" Rockets were fired her way and she yelped while trying to dodge them.

BOOM!

Aiming his own bazooka to negate it, the Joker shot and exploded them before they reached Minx so she hid behind Tommy not too far away, shivering with her tail in a big bush and her claws ready to rip out someone's jugular. With a click of a remote control from the Joker the entire little island was covered in shadow. Immediately Batman killed the lights and put the vehicle in stealth mode, which also cut the main engine so the entire car disappeared from sight. An electric motor kicked in making it impossible to tell where the vehicle was to all except Minx, who's both night vision and supersonic hearing pinpointed his location. With a feline growl she leapt up top and scratched the front windshield and cameras to the point that the shield opened and Batman grabbed her by the neck, thrashing her aside when he was hit in the face with a henchmen's fist. The fist was grabbed and twisted around before the drone could swing again; hitting him in the face and using that arm to flip him over his head and onto his back, stunning Minx.

Batman had already flipped the man over and slammed his head down so hard it busted him open, so another ripped him off. Minx landed on his shoulders managing to fly up into a backwards tuck flip, shooting Batman into the air behind her when his cape expanded and he literally collided and took the tiny thing down to the ground. Struggling to gain control of her clawed fists, Minx yelped when Harley threw him off her, whacking him in the head with what seemed like a sledgehammer; it was made of steel and it hurt like hell.

Growling Minx tackled Batman out of turn from fury and they rolled around beating the shit out of each other yet again. Batman roughly flipped her over his head and slammed a hand to her throat.

"HEY!" a masked man crawled and went to rip Batman off by the foot, but he was kicked in the face.

Another guy went to set the cape on fire again when a stun gun fired from Batman's gold utility belt, hit the man directly in the neck, and he yowled.

"Hah!" leaning in his face Batman could see nothing but the ice-blue light in Minx's cat eyes, "Nice TRY, Bat-MAN" she giggled and tried to rake her nails down his chest, but the new construction of the suit prevented her nails from sinking in, "Hey! What gives?"

He shot gauntlets into her neck and she screamed, rolling off him and he stood once more glancing about him until he saw helicopters firing down at them all. Harley grabbed a long knife from her leg and went to stab him, but he leapt backwards and held up the same arm that slashed Minx in front of his face and Batarangs fired at her, slicing Harley's hands and she yelped. He simply went to swing at Harley again when the wildcat struck onto the man who cut up her neck. She was bleeding profusely and gagging blood when Harley held a hand to her shoulder and pulled her back quickly.

Harley scowled at the helicopters before looking to the shadowed, inconspicuous Joker who shot the bazooka several times and made them crash into the bay for an even bigger explosion; he watched Batman try to hit Minx but she did a back handspring and ducked before he could charge and swing.

"HAH!" she taunted before pouncing from behind and taking him down, only to be crushed as he rolled onto his back and they struggled that way.

Her hood came off revealing beautiful Mindy but it swung right back on the moment he tried to lash her with a Batarang, and she slashed at it a lot until they flipped over.

"She's gonna bleed to death" one of the masked men lowered his machine gun and said wisely when Harley shrugged before looking over to the Joker, who wasn't even paying attention.

"I think Mistah J wants her to keep going"

"And what? Kill the kid?" a third asked while watching Minx dodge blows and finally kick Batman in the stomach.

"GET her the hell outta there" one of the men looked to Harley and growled, "Look at her, for Christ's sake"

"And what if he kills her?" Harley shrugged indifferently, "That's ONE less pain in my ass"

The Joker was just staring now at the scene in front of them. Not a word, not an expression…just that staring.

One man spoke up, "I'm sure the boss'll take that well."

"Please…" Harley waved it off when all heads turned to see the Joker standing a good three feet behind them, bazooka in hand before stiffly saying one phrase.

"Get my pussy."

Minx snapped her teeth at Batman when some sort of tear gas was sprayed at them both, Tommy lifting Minx and approaching the Joker while Batman sent a little ball of gas and explosives at them himself. The group made fast work though and loaded into a mob-owned steam boat which was passing by, leaving Batman stranded on the island with the Tumbler until he remembered the bridge on the other side.

Narrowing his eyes in a nasty-looking scowl he quickly scanned the area before begrudgingly getting back into the Tumbler and keeping it in stealth mode as he drove back over the bridge on the other side. Police vehicles immediately trailed behind him, so he deployed a caltrop to immobilize the cops following him home.

…

Sitting in a metal folding chair as Harley applied iodine to her neck, Mindy cringed at how cold it was and how badly it stung before the Joker snagged it from her and grabbed a needle and thread from his pocket, making Mindy open her mouth to scream but he held her mouth and barred his yellow teeth.

"TRY screaming as I do you a favor" he nodded encouragingly at her, "I DARE you, no, I DOUBLE dare you!"

She said nothing and actually started hyperventilating as he inserted the needle into the first wound and began to sew it up with, ironically, purple thread.

"What?" he stopped in high aggravation and looked her in the eye, "I'm not gonna HIT you, alright? What?" he pulled the purple coat off and threw it over her bare shoulders much to Harley's distaste, "I'm not gonna…" he made the motion of stabbing her neck with the needle and she whined yet again so he lunged forwards and held the needle to the corners of her mouth, "Why so SERIOUS, Miranda Marie?" he barked like a mad dog when she simmered down significantly, dropping her eyes to the floor before curling four child-sized fingers over his right wrist and letting him stitch her up, "Now THAT'S more like it, right?" his fingers skimmed through her hair and he nodded, "Right…" he nodded at himself more than her, "alright…that's better" he nodded before running his free hand through his poorly dyed green hair, Mindy easily spotting the blonde roots and rolling her eyes, "See how much BETTER things are when you just shut up?"

"I coulda done that you know," Harley nodded when he made a face as if a mosquito were buzzing in his ear before shooing her off.

"Go…"

Harley hesitated, glaring at Mindy in the chair when the Joker turned and growled.

"That was NOT in any way, shape, or form, a suggestion!"

"O-okay just tell me if you need anything" she nodded weakly before watching him continue to stitch the raven-haired woman's neck and slinking out the door; all kinds of death and disaster on her mind involving Bruce Wayne's newest flame.

"They look kinda dopey…" Mindy frowned when the Joker blinked a couple times and screwed his face up.

"I'm sorry…" he shook his head for a frightening moment, "but I don't know what the HELL you're talking about"

"Your dudes" she pointed towards where the former mental patients and convicts hung out, making the Joker catch on and nod along.

"Well uh…" he shook his hair out a moment before licking his lips and continuing stitching her stained orange (from the iodine) neck, "I'm not exactly going to the Palisades to recruit"

"You break pool sticks in half and make them poke each other's guts out" she nodded wisely when he actually cracked the faintest trace of a smile before nodding.

"Something along the lines of that"

"She is really nuts about ya" she said while raising her finger to point in the general direction Harley left in and he gave no reaction. "Please she fucking loves the shit out of you; stop being a dick"

"You don't use contractions when you talk," he pointed out bluntly and she stared at him wall-eyed, "just wanted to make you aware of that."

"You know I do not like the English language"

"Yes, yes that's just swell but uh" he shrugged, "This ain't Poland, sweetheart." The glare she shot him was just too much not for him to cackle at.

"You cannot lead on Harleen" she said crossly when he leaned in her face and placed his hands over his knees.

"You seem to be missing the little piece of information that I'm NOT and I never was in fact, I've been USING the-"

"You're mean" she scowled when his eyes widened as if that were a big surprise, observing her pout for a moment before releasing that wheezy laugh.

"I'm mean…" he snickered before repeating again "I'm mean…" he slapped his thighs before looking to the poor bastard in the clown mask who happened to walk by, "I'm MEAN, did YOU know that?" he pointed at the poor guy and he didn't answer out of anxiety, so the Joker pulled a rifle out of his pocket and shot him in the chest.

Mindy gasped and her eyes got to be the size of golf balls.

"Too slow…" he sighed while dropping the rifle in his pocket and snapping his fingers at her repeatedly as she stuck her arms through his jacket and hugged the custom-material closer to herself, "You gotta be on the BALL with these things, Kitten; wouldn't you agree?"

"Do you get a rise out of being a pain in my ass?"

He stuck his finger to his chin and pondered a moment, "yes."

"Butthead" she said blindly, not even catching how his head cocked dangerously, "and do not do that, it is creepy"

"I know…" he nodded, immediately assuming she meant the scars, "I see them every god damn DAY, Kitten! I'm AWARE I have-"

"I am sorry!" she shouted worriedly when he stood off the chair and shook his head.

"Sorry…" he scoffed, "save it for when you actually mean it; that is…" he frowned and checked both ways before licking his lips and speaking, "if you ever truly ARE for the things you've done." He nodded before licking his lips once more and standing calmly in front of her chair, "I smile for YOU, Kitten" he leaned back and smiled sarcastically before turning his back to leave the room, "And don't get too comfortable!"

She frowned and realized he was pointing at his pristine purple coat which she wore.

"I'll be needing that back at some point."

* * *

_"I will not deny but that the best apology __against false accusers is silence and sufferance, and honest deeds set against dishonest words."  
_— John Milton, Paradise Lost


	10. Chapter 10: House Call

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

Watching the news featuring the Tumbler literally pancaking police barricades in order to jump through the explosion of the bridge, Alfred could only shake his head and sigh as Bruce did his morning pushups after taking a quick drink of some crazy protein concoction he devised. He didn't touch the rest of his breakfast until he did so.

"Thrill-seeking or an untimely death, Master Wayne?" Alfred sighed.

Furrowing his brow and stopping count wherever he was, the battered and bruised Bruce stood and approached the TV in only his striped pajama bottoms.

"Did you see the air I got on that?" they kept showing the Tumbler bursting through the flames from the exploding bridge, "I didn't know if I was gonna make it."

"Well thank heaven you did" Alfred said with a heavy exhale, "But I do bloody think you went into that fray a bit blindly."

Bruce frowned while sitting back down on his bed, "If someone didn't stop them all of Gotham would look like the penitentiary."

"I'm quite aware of that" he said, "But what if it came between the city and your life?"

Bruce frowned; looking up at him and nodding, "If the end justifies the means I'll do whatever's possible. My father-"

"Did not share your burden to this level, Master Bruce" he watched Bruce's face fall before pressing a hand to his shoulder, "But he would be very proud of the outstanding individual you have become."

"Speaking of…" he tried to change subject before he started brooding, "I promised Miranda I'd bring her to Wayne Manor today, I haven't really gotten a chance to see the new construction myself"

"It's been two months since your house-"

"My FATHER'S house, Alfred"

"Not anymore it isn't" he shook his head as Bruce grabbed his phone, "and I won't have this argument again."

Bruce shot him a look as he headed out of the room carrying a silver tray. Taking a deep breath he flopped back on his mattress and placed one of his hands behind his head as Mindy's cell phone rang. Her ringback was 'Can't Be Tamed' by Miley Cyrus, which made him pull the phone away from his mouth so he could laugh at her when she picked up and he almost dropped it.

"What would you like from my life?"

"M-Miranda!"

"Bonehead?"

"Yeah…!" he nodded, forgetting what he wanted to say to her so he sat up and scanned his room worriedly.

"How are you at three in the afternoon?"

"Three?" he gasped when Alfred chuckled lowly from the next room, "Miranda, I'm so sorry I can explain-"

"Bonehead" her voice dropped a bit, "I was gonna call and tell you that I really cannot go anywhere today anyway"

"No, why?" he frowned and hunched over worriedly, almost looking at his phone as if it was going to start talking to him, "Is everything alright? Is there something I can do?"

"My kid is sick" she sighed, "She woke up with a fever I kept her home from kindergarten and I have a show tonight too."

"Are you just blowing me off…?"

"No, no, I…" her voice cracked in uncertainty, "I am serious she is five years old, she-"

"I didn't know you had kids…?" he frowned when she sighed.

"You never asked."

"Is she your only child? Or…?"

"I have five" she giggled and his eyes widened intensely, "Four girls and one boy. My oldest is Amber Rose she's six, and my youngest is Chelsea Ray, she's three."

He smiled warmly and looked into the phone, "So you managed FIVE before you turned twenty-nine?"

"My five-year-olds are identical twins" she exhaled.

"Do forgive me for asking, but-"

"All the same father; remember the one I said passed away?"

"Yeah, I remember hearing about him"

"Mhm"

"Is there anything I can do? Is there anything she likes in particular?"

"I am sure she will manage, thank you" she declined kindly, "She is watching The Little Mermaid with a bowl of chicken soup wrapped up in a Snuggie, she should be fine."

"I'm sorry, I hope she feels better" he frowned while already standing to look for his clothes.

"Maybe we can do something tomorrow"

"I can do that, it's the weekend after all" he pulled a dark beige t-shirt over his head that kind of form-fit his muscular frame to the point that it almost looked tight on his arms and put a pair of black pants on before heading into the bathroom to brush his teeth and shave his face.

"Alright, so I will see you tomorrow" she clearly was trying to get rid of him, which only made him more curious and Alfred was now watching him with a passive face.

"Alright, tomorrow's fine"

She hung up on him and that only made him move faster.

"I hope you aren't going where I think you are" Alfred shook his head knowingly, he knew Bruce's exact plan of action with this new girlfriend.

"I just want to make sure she's not blowing me off" he said while spitting in the sink and trying to lightning shave his face.

"I highly doubt she would make something like that up, Master Wayne" Alfred said, "She told me so herself that she's a mother of five."

"How did YOU find out before I did?"

"Did you ask?"

No answer from Bruce.

"Well there you bloody go."

…

A yellow Juicy Couture tracksuit-wearing Mindy was spiking her four-year-old son Tryg's faux-hawk while on speaker phone with Trish when Amber jogged behind her and ran a brush through her mother's hair quickly.

"Thank you, babyboo" Mindy grinned as Amber got the brush through her mother's unkempt hair and piled the mop of raven on top of her head in a messy bun.

"You're welcome, Mommy" Amber sighed while Tryg frowned and pointed to his head.

"Mommy, hurry!" he whined while grabbing his monster truck, which Mindy eyed worriedly.

Amber pulled her mother's face towards her quickly, "Look up at the sky" she smiled while Mindy did as she was told.

…

"What, are the munchkins doin' everything for ya, Meemsicle?" Trish giggled while walking through her office as Amber applied mascara to Mindy's face.

…

"Oh, shut your yap!" Mindy waved her off before kissing Amber's nose and finishing with the hairspray to make Tryg's blonde hair stand up. "I am ENJOYING sick day, Trisha Anne!"

…

"Wait wait wait a minute…" Trish frowned while sitting at her desk and opening her file which contained evidence of Batman possibly having to do with the string of random events, "Trygger, Thorn, and Amber should all be in school why are they not-"

…

"Sick day, duh!" Mindy shrugged while poking her tongue out between her teeth, "Why should only Scarlett stay home? That is not very fair."

…

"Ohhh Meem…" Trish sighed, "You are SO helpless"

"Who?" Viper asked upon entering Trish's office with a cup of coffee since he was exhausted from the night before.

Trish held the mouthpiece of her phone before saying.

"Meem."

"Oh" he scoffed, "Why am I not surprised?"

"Oh fuck YOU, schmuck" Mindy started to go off when he felt like leaving and not hearing the rest of it.

"Fisico, one of these days you owe me lunch" he said upon leaving, which only made Mindy crazier.

"Oh come now, you do not owe that bastard SHIT he's a fuckin'-"

…

The doorbell rang.

"Meem? Are ya gonna get that?"

"Psh" Mindy waved it off when Thorn dragged the thirty-five pound Serval named Oxa to the door alongside a maid only to gasp and whip her head of long blonde hair about to yell at Mindy.

"MOMMY!"

"WHAT?" Mindy called back with a shake of the head; kissing Tryg's cheek before letting him roar and slide his car along the floor. Mindy cringed at the sound.

"Who the HELL are YOU?" Thorn yelled.

Both Mindy and Trish made the same face without realizing it from separate locations.

"Peace, bitch" Trish chuckled as Mindy carried the phone with her to the door to see Bruce standing there with a big bouquet of red roses and something else behind his back.

"Fuck" Mindy hung up on Trish and panicked.

She had zero makeup on and looked like absolute hell. Amber managed to put some mascara on her but the messy bun and everything else was complete shit. And he was fucking gorgeous. Fuck.

"What. Are you stalking me?" she giggled while approaching the door and noticing the expression on his face at Oxa, "She is a Serval"

"I was" he curled his lips nervously and came up with an excuse, "In the building, and I decided I'd come by and see if I could help with anything."

"Eh…" Mindy rubbed the back of her neck and smiled weakly.

"So is your daughter actually sick or were you standing me up?"

"You putz" she rolled her eyes and craned her neck, "YO! Scarlett Amy!"

"Whaaat?" the sick five-year-old wrapped in a pink Snuggie came over and brightened to see Bruce at the door with flowers, "Are THOSE for ME?"

"Yes they are, sweetheart" he bent down and handed them to her.

"Oh, THANK YOU!" she went to hug his neck after taking the flowers but stopped, frowning and shuffling her feet.

"Anytime, princess" he grinned before Mindy pulled him to his feet and almost ripped him inside.

"I would hug you but I have strep" Scarlett frowned while coughing and pointing to her throat, "You would not like that, now would you?"

"Ah, it's alright" he touched the top of her head and smiled as Mindy looked on and the maid closed the door behind him. "I've got a killer immune system."

"I am sure you do" Mindy nodded with a shake of the head before pulling his head down and giving him a big kiss, "Nice of you to call me before you came so I knew not to look like a complete drowned rat when you walked in the door."

"You look FINE" he made a claw out of one hand and clasped it on top of her huge messy bun, "These are for you, by the way" from behind his back he pulled out white oleanders and handed them to her, "Keep them in milk they'll last longer."

Smiling warmly she hugged his neck and they kissed again, "Seriously, thank you for" she motioned to Scarlett hugging her roses as a maid prepared a vase for them and the oleanders in her own hand, "coming and getting us flowers, and" her eyes dropped when he bumped the narrow bridge of his nose against the side of her head and smiled thinly. "Ya did not have to-"

"I wanted to" he took her hand and kissed it before entering the familiar penthouse further and caught Tryg making crazy yelling sounds while running his car along the floor.

"Trygger" she shook her head, "but we all call him Tryg. He's a little shit like that."

Bruce's eyebrows rose at that last statement before Mindy grabbed Tryg by the back of his pants to lift him to his feet instead of pushing on his hands and knees,

"Say hi to Bonehead, Tryggy."

"Why?" he demanded, so Mindy took his car away and whispered something threatening in his ear. He turned and suddenly smiled at Bruce. "Hi. Who are you?"

"Mommy's BOYFRIEND, Tryggy!" Scarlett called from lying on a couch pretending to be dead with a sigh, "Do you know nothing?"

"They're beautiful…" Bruce glanced about catching the identical features on each and every child while smiling weakly at Mindy, "Do you have a lot of blondes in your family?"

"It is that Polish blood" Mindy said before her face fell significantly, "On she-bitch's side of the friggin' family…if you call it that."

"Was their father light?"

"Yes" she shook her head with curled lips, "Daddy was an Aussie-Canadian blondie."

"Older?"

"My age; he only had me by eight months" Mindy nodded stiffly, "I do not talk about him in front of them."

"Oh, I'm sorry…" he frowned when she shook her head and took his hand.

"Hi, Bruce" Amber smiled and tapped his shoulder, dressed exactly like her mother in fact…all the girls were dressed in Juicy Couture tracksuits in different colors except Amber and Mindy who both wore yellow.

"And what's your name?" he extended a hand and with a grin she shook it.

"Amber" she said while eyeballing him, "You're very handsome."

"Please" Mindy giggled as he went to thank her, "Do not feed his ego anymore"

"You're beautiful" he told Amber straight, "All of you are" he decided to be a brat while staring at Mindy, "You must get it from your wonderful MOTHER"

"He he" she made him stand up with her, "kiss my fucking ass in D-minor."

Taking a deep breath she sighed and lifted the three-year-old Chelsea as she stared aimlessly around her while holding Fievel, Mindy's black cat.

"And who is this?" he touched Chelsea's chin and tried to smile at her, but the child was despondent and clung to the black cat. Mindy had a bit of a melancholic look on her face before speaking.

"This is Chelsea Ray…" finally she looked him in the eye so he wasn't so uncomfortable, "She does not react to you do not take it personally she's Autistic. We found out last year and are trying A.B.A. therapy with her at home six hours a day" smiling weakly she kissed Chelsea, "but it is a sick day for Chels, right babyboo?" Chelsea didn't respond, so Mindy held her chin and frowned. "Hey!" No response. "Chelsea…look at me…!" Chelsea made eye contact and Mindy grinned while giving her a huge kiss, "Yaaay!" she giggled and Eskimo-kissed her little daughter, "GOOD girl!"

Bruce could only shake his head in pity and run a hand through Chelsea's silky loosely curled blonde locks, "And there's nothing anyone can do…?"

"Unless they made neurosurgery that I do not know about?" Mindy shrugged and shook her head, "Every doctor, every school, every fucking specialist in the god damn world for this baby and none of them can do anything. They told me if she was lucky she'd be a window washer" Mindy scowled before shaking her head, "obvi with my bank account she ain't washin' jack shit."

"Any other people I should meet?"

"Umm" Mindy curled her lips in and glanced about, "we got staff here that I just yell at in Polish and they do whatever I say, and then we have the cats! Yes! The cats…"

He cringed; after his recent Minx squabbles he'd learned to despise cats.

"We have three besides Oxa" Oxa was sitting in Thorn's lap protectively as Thorn ate a bowl of ice cream on an ottoman, "We have Fievel" Mindy pointed to the black cat in Chelsea's arm, "I rescued him from a ditch when I was seventeen" smiling she pointed to the Siamese cat sitting in a chase, "that's Peking andddd" trailing a finger around she perked at the white cat with a brown chest eating out of a bowl of cat food, "that's Mallow Mars. Now you met everybody!"

"Big family, my god!" he chuckled while wrapping an arm around Mindy's waist, "Never a dull moment, is there?"

"Jesus, son of a Christ…" Mindy pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head, "You have no idea" she smiled wryly, "Not for the weak of heart I can assure you. If you like your privacy this is NOT the place to be"

"Even with all this space?" her penthouse was fifteen thousand square feet.

"Are you kidding?" she shook her head and laughed nasally, "Not with a friggin stadium will it be quiet in my house."

"I'm sure they're all sweet kids though" he'd never been so surrounded in his life he was completely lost as how to act and behave.

"Please" she somehow knew what was running through his head, "Do not hold back…we are Greeks all sorts of lovely language flies back and forth in this house."

"Even from the children?" he was stunned, and apathetically Mindy shrugged.

"Sure. Get one of them angry enough"

"You all must be very close" he smiled warmly, the whole concept of family was completely alien to him.

"Oh yeah, we're the Vikings. Right, babies?"

"YEAH!" they all yelled in harmony, even Chelsea seemed really super excited about it. She was so cute Bruce wanted to bite her.

"Can I…?" he asked in reference to lifting Chelsea and Mindy nodded.

"Why not?" she shrugged, "She usually does not take too well to strangers"

"She's alright" he nodded before peering around the house looking completely marveled.

All he did was nod along, still flabbergasted. Even when he was really very young he never had any siblings he was an only child, and his parents doted over him until they died. As great of a person as he was he couldn't identify with any of this atmosphere as much as he desperately wanted to. He really didn't know anything about being a real family…though he was thinking too much inside the box. What he didn't realize at first was that this family was completely broken. Mindy was raising them all completely on her own due to the apparent death of the father. Unlimited bank account or not she was a single mother.

…

An hour or so later Mindy was leaning over the railing on her balcony with Bruce's arms wrapped around her as they both stared out at Gotham, pensive over two entirely different things.

"You seemed spooked" Mindy jerked her head towards the inside where her kids were with the nanny while maids cleaned and prepared dinner, "You do not like kids much do you?"

"It's not that I don't like them" he shook his head and kissed the crook of her neck, "I just don't know what to do with them. Give me a chance, I'll learn."

"How old were you when your parents died?" she asked without turning her head when he painfully answered.

"Eight."

"Poor baby…" she frowned, "how did they die?"

He took a deep breath and stared into space for a moment; that was more difficult to explain.

"I watched them get shot after we left an opera early…" he bit his lower lip and scowled at the memory of it all, "I wanted that man dead for so many years…and when he finally was killed on his way out of a courtroom I wished I was the one who did it."

"How old were you?"

"In college"

"Where did you go?"

"Princeton…though I dropped out before I graduated" he smiled weakly, burrowing his face into her neck and simply letting it stay there while hugging her from behind, "How about you?"

"I didn't" she spat coldly, "I dropped out of high school my sophomore year when I was offered a record deal after being spotted on Star Search in Toronto. That was my start" she shrugged, "here I am now."

"And your parents didn't…?"

"My parents took pleasure in beating the fucking shit out of me…" she steeled, "I did not grow up the way you did. My dad did some investment banking and my mother was a teacher. I have paranoid schizophrenia I was born with it and my parents were bible-thumping lunatics convinced I was a demon or some shit like that…they tied me to tables and beat me screaming biblical passages I didn't speak a word until I was six I was kept like an animal. There was a dog kennel in the basement…" she shook her head, "we didn't have a dog. Trisha Anne was their perfect princess and my special friend Natasha told me Mommy had to dance in the fire with Lucifer…so one night I grabbed the kitchen scissors, sneaked up to her room, and jammed them into her eye sockets. I had to…" she looked him in the eye and he was emotionless, completely dead, "I would have died in that house if I didn't."

"And what became of your father?"

She was stunned he didn't tell her she was nuts. Though, obviously the guy had some deep-embedded issues himself she figured he wasn't one to judge.

"He tried to kill me…" her voice dropped significantly, "he touched me in bad places…" she eluded his question, "that's why my choice in men is so fabulous."

"I have no right to judge you" her assumption was correct, "from what I've seen of the person you are today I think you're absolutely wonderful."

"My little sycophant" she giggled, pressing her forehead against his before leaning forwards to kiss him, but he frowned.

"Little?"

"Well" she eyeballed him and shrugged, "not HUGE."

His hands migrated to her stomach and down the front of her hips as they kissed until she picked up a sound coming from the house and slipped out from under him.

"Come come, they feel like dancing"

"Not to YOUR music, I hope" he shook his head while holding his breath when Mindy stopped short and doubled over laughing, shaking her head at him like he was insane.

"No, no sillybuns" she kissed the top of his hand and led him inside, "we listen to Selena Gomez in this house."

'Naturally' by Selena Gomez was blasting and again, Bruce was slightly overwhelmed and intimidated as Mindy pulled her hip-length mess of hair out of the bun and grabbed both Thorn and Amber to dance with them followed by Chelsea.

…

"So uh…" Mindy giggled while crawling on top of him as they lay on her bed with the door closed on top of the lavender comforter not much later, "you think you will be comin' around again? Or did we scare the hell outta you?"

"It's…" he lolled his head to the side for a moment to think before facing her once more, "nothing I can't handle."

Giving him both a nod and a kiss she pulled her yellow velvety jacket off so she only wore a bra and the yellow sweatpants, "I liked that answer, you passed."

"I did?" he asked with a smirk, placing a hand over her chest while leaning up to kiss her.

"Mhm" they kissed until she got his shirt over his head and she straddled his waist before gasping in horror at the condition his entire torso was in. He was covered in bruises and claw marks…deep claw marks. "Jesus son of a Christ, what happened to you?" she gasped while running her fingers over the wounds. Immediately his eyes widened once he realized what condition his chest was in but then he had to drum up some form of excuse.

"I was…" he cringed, "spelunking…" he nodded along to his own lie, "when…" he never drummed up a valid excuse for this Alfred would hang him later, "accidentally provoked a swarm of bats…"

"Ooo!" she frowned.

"Yeah…" wincing at the thought of how they really happened he frowned, "I'm alright though. Taught me a valuable lesson"

"Watch where you spelunk" she tapped his nose and kissed him smoothly, allowing him to remove her bra and for the first time allow his hands to roam her bare chest.

…

"So uh…" turning off the news report which read, 'Batman Responsible for Blackgate Penitentiary?, Gordon curled his lips in and paced about his office as a bleary-eyed Trish held a hand over her mouth while somberly Viper rubbed her shoulders, "I figure that Batman made a mistake"

"At what price?" Viper shook his head in disdain at it all, "The Bat hasn't done a damn THING but happen to be caught red-handed at EVERY SINGLE SCENE"

"No…" Gordon, a loyal friend of the Dark Knight, said to Viper coldly. "The instances at the storage house, the power plant, and Blackgate Penitentiary were too random" he adjusted his glasses and looked at his two newest agents, "there's no…" he waved a file around nervously, "connections to be drawn. No clear motives on his part that I can understand"

"Well obviously this guy's letting the power get to his head" Trish countered quickly, "I mean, what normal city in this society allows a man to run around in a bat suit knocking people's teeth out?"

"He protects us" Gordon held his tongue, "this has never happened before, there must be-"

"Well I think when you place anyone in a seat of ultimate power such as this 'Batman' that there HAS to be some psychological advantage he has over this city" Trish's voice dropped meekly and she shook her head, "What's in all this for him anyway?"

"He does what he does by his own intuition and the goodness of his heart" Gordon reassured her gently, "He expects no gratuity…he told me so himself. This city truly has something special in our silent guardian…that's why we give him so much free reign if you'd like to know, Viper" he gave him a look. "The recent events are something I'm sure we don't understand there's not a trace of evidence in-"

"Oh really?" Trish slapped something in a plastic bag down on the desk, "Because forensics found THESE to be the cause of the powerout the other day!"

"And why, may I ask…" Viper asked blindly while staring out the window at Gotham going about its business, "does every recent murder and/or destructive activity have him there all by himself?" he shrugged, "Where's these so-said felons?"


	11. Chapter 11: Enter the Stratusfear

**A/N: Thank you! :)!**

When Mindy told Bruce she was a rockstar it was a bit laughable considering the type of music she was actually interested in…but she really wasn't kidding.

Pyrotechnics and smokescreens were accented by strobe lights. An eerie grand piano built inside a realistic replica of a twisted dead tree on stage left began to play as the crowd heated up for the opening song. Real ravens sat perched on the branches as a slew of bird-handlers stood positioned around the arena as well as stage crew running amuck to make sure the entire show ran perfect as they had been doing for the past twelve years. Bruce watched the little woman with a mane of straightened raven hair which trailed so far down her short back it hung below the piano bench; her little fingers playing the melody she herself composed when the guitar riff came in from stage right along with a heavy drum accent. Off the bench she swung with a mic in hand and the crowd went wild for the deep purple light-bathed, icy-skinned, ice-eyed front-woman of worldwide music phenomenon, Stratusfear.

"_This night is alive with the smell of insane_," her usually mezzo-soprano operatic voice dipped so low she was almost growling, "_It's reaching for me and it's calling my name_!"

Mindy was quite the theatrical performer, she treated her concerts more like a play. One could consider her a prodigy, but it was the paranoid schizophrenia which made her musical ability so unique and haunting. The classically trained voice helped her a lot too as did her surgically-enhanced indescribably beautiful features. She had the entire package, no one even cared about the rest of Stratusfear it was the Mindy Stratus show. People paid to see HER; she could fire the entire band and it wouldn't matter, but the moment the raven-haired aesthetic walked away Stratusfear was finished.

Her long, busty black dress was held by the shiny leather corset which constricted her thick waist, making her appear a lot slimmer than she really was. The makeup department did an awesome job on her too. The smoky black eye shadow with light purple glittery accents out from the corners of her eyes complimented the nude gloss coated over her collagen-fused lips. She was only four-foot-ten, but the black boots put her at around five-one.

"_I beg for silence to drown out their weep_," with a flip of that magnificent head of thick hair her arms and entire body acted with the intensity of both the words and tone of voice, "_How did this asylum become where I sleep_?" Her arm shot up in the air and the crowd ROARED as she switched styles to her signature operatic voice, "_So ashamed of waking_, _All my life you failed to keep me safe_!" the set designed to look like a potter's field in the middle of the woods had a choir in the background dressed to appear ethereal as dancers/actors worked around her, "_My whole world's forsaken, Won't let you destroy my faith again_!" she immediately waved a hand so the choir could pick up and hold the last long note in 'again' so she could accelerate her voice to a short, low-pitched, angry, fast-paced chant, "_All-my ques-tions get no ans-wers,_" she fake-headbanged and ran forwards towards the edge of the stage, "_Locked-up tight from-the-world out-side me_" she had to get the dramatic operatic, "_Noo! Noo_!" back to the short chant, "_Mommy come get me out to-night! All-my ques-tions have no ans-wers, I-can-feel the fear in-side me_!" her arm swung up, "_Noo! Noo_!" back to the hard chant, "_Mommy come get me out to-night!_"

All went quiet for a moment of stillness. Mindy caught her breath and flashed her bright blue eyes about the crowd, then the band picked back up and her face became menacing (as part of the act).

"_So close I almost could taste my own grave_," her spine and shoulders swiveled with the same deep tone and rhythm she opened the song with, "_My moment of selfishness caused by your pain_! _Almost threw this life you gave me away,"_ this part was confusing only to those who studied her lyrics, "_In this institution for you now I pray!_"

She was a famous Atheist, but the song was called, 'St. John'. Little did any idiots know it was an abandoned asylum in Ireland that burned down years ago. She came up with shit alright, but it was all psychotic, remotely associated, and made no sense. On stage she was a dream, but that's all it was. She was an actress; she acted in front of crowds. It was actually therapeutic for her to pretend to be someone she wasn't as often as she did she got a great kick out of it.

Leaning forwards and tilting her head, the operatic voice came back, "_So ashamed of waking; All my life you failed to keep me safe_! _My whole world's forsaken_" she was one of the few artists who never reached out to touch any of her fans while performing. They terrified her. She thought they would grab and pull her into them despite the onslaught of security keeping her safe. "_Won't let you destroy my faith again_!" the choir had to jump in the middle of her note so she could skip to the psychotic chant. "_All-my ques-tions get no ans-wers. Locked-up tight from-the-world out-side me_!" she repeated the arm-raising to the dramatic change of voice, "_Noo! Noo_!" back to the chant, "_Mommy come get me out to-night! All-my ques-tions have no ans-wers, I-can-feel the fear in-side me_! _Noo! Noo_!" revert to the chant, "_Mommy come get me out to-night_!"

The guitar quieted, the drums ceased, and Mindy dropped to the piano bench to play a different haunting tune. Respectfully the crowd quieted with the rest of the band, but the moment her fingers pressed down on the keys she received an eruption of screams. Mindy rose off the bench and dipped down to match the sudden burst of volume from the band.

"_Forgive me_…!" there was always a part of the song which allowed her to show off her vocal chords, in this case the song slowed intensely so she could do so, "_With wings adorn me…so I can fly…_!" she belted 'fly' for fifteen seconds as her lead guitarist had a field day with his solo. She disappeared for a good twenty-five seconds. All quieted yet again, which was her cue to sprint back forwards with the music picking back up and she started the chant, "_All-my ques-tions get no ans-wers, Locked-up tight from-the-world out-side me!"_ the arm went up, "_Noo! Noo!"_ back to staring into the crowd, "_Mommy come get me out to-night! All-my ques-tions have no ans-wers, I-can-feel the fear in-side me_!" she tried to find a cameraman or something she could focus on, "_Noo! Noo_!" she took one last breath to conclude the song, "_Mommy come get me out to-night_!" a moment, "_Mommy come get me out to-night!_"

A few quick pseudo-head bangs and fist pumps ended the song, and she paused so the crowd could cheer her. She was phenomenal the way she captured the crowd simply by walking onstage, yet it was so far from the Mindy he knew Bruce had a hard time convincing himself that was her. He had managed to come with her to her show simply for observational purposes (and brownie points) to see what exactly her band 'Stratusfear' was all about; they were a pop/rock band with a gothic gimmick that every type of audience ate up one way or another.

The most puzzling moment of the night was the encore. A gigantic lit staircase appeared out of nowhere along with a ton of sharply dressed dancers and some popstar named Usher popped out so they could perform a remix of 'More'…at a rock concert. At first he didn't understand or know how the crowd would take a dance number when Mindy stripped to a black one-piece bustier encrusted with diamonds and fishnet stockings. Though she had jumped on vocals too, she danced with Usher like a video honey. She was famous for combining ballet, lyrical, Colombian, and hip-hop all at once and the breast implants made the unusual routine extra sexy. The highlight of the night clearly was when she executed a spot-on moonwalk all around the stage…according to the staff backstage this was mild compared to the strange happenings at Stratusfear concerts.

The moment she trotted offstage after the encore Mindy bumped right into two strong hands holding her face followed by a big kiss. A towel draped over her shoulders to absorb the sweat which coated her shoulders and chest from being out there under the hot lights.

"Thank you" she smiled sweetly and tried to keep her distance from Bruce's body as they walked backstage hand-in-hand, "I am a friggin disgusting ball of sweat" she grimaced at her own appearance before waving it off, "I don't wanna contaminate you."

"I like the uh…" he studied her exposed skin playfully and poked a finger to her breast plate, "sparkles…you've got going on there." Her body was covered in glitter.

She nodded and started to lead him towards the back as stagehands rushed about to clean up after the show, and they zigzagged through dancers and choir people, "Starving."

"I'll take you out" he offered when she shook her head and threw her Fendi bag over her shoulder carelessly.

"I just want fuckin' McDonald's to be honest. That's what I always get after shows"

"That's repulsive!"

"I like it!" she shouted childishly, stamping her foot while sneaking him out a back exit with her still in full costume, "Nothing fancy is open this late."

"I'll make them open, please" he begged her as she simply walked out to his car shaking her head, "Miranda!" he squeezed her hand and nuzzled her neck to try and entice her, "Please? Anything but that!"

She gave him a long look as if she were thinking about it.

…

"Thank you" Mindy leaned over from her spot on the couch in her penthouse with a bag of McDonald's in her arm and kissed Bruce's cheek.

He stuck his tongue out before returning the kiss, "I don't know how you stomach it."

"You kidding?" she munched on a fry still in full costume and simply continued shoveling food, "I eat to survive."

"You eat on self-indulgence" he corrected with a shake of the head, "I could have had anywhere opened for us and you pick THAT"

"Got news for ya, my kids like it too"

"It's junk food" he grimaced.

"Are you sleeping here or going home at some point?"

"What would make you more comfortable?" he asked while tracing her jaw with the tips of his fingers. For a moment his hopes soared as she began kissing the fingertips when she curled her lips and stared at the crystal coffee table with a frown.

"I think you should go…" she said stiffly, making his face fall dejectedly so she immediately crawled into his lap and kissed all up his throat and onto his lips.

"You put on a great show"

"When am I seeing you?" she ran a hand through his hair and smiled weakly, "Thank you so much for coming today"

"Tomorrow" he poked her nose and she kissed the tip of that finger, "Wayne Manor. I promise."

"Ponies?" she asked hopefully, so placing a reverent kiss on her forehead he nodded.

"Goodnight, Miranda" they had one long delicate kiss before he left.

…

While staring at the helicopters which were pulled out of the river, Viper strolled over curiously and noticed that the choppers were pierced and taken down with rockets which much resembled those that shot out from the Tumbler.

"Hey, Commissioner!"

…

"See, now I know you are not very into music" Mindy sighed while skimming down her iPod in Bruce's Lamborghini as he drove at a ridiculous speed to reach the new Wayne Manor built in the Palisades, "but this song kinda reminds me of you…"

He raised his eyebrow in curiosity as Mindy put on 'Undead' by Hollywood Undead, "What is this?"

"Right up your alley" she smirked while folding her hand in his, "angry white boys." Shaking his head at her like she was insane he tightened his hold on her hand and shifted his eyes back to the road.

…

The new Wayne Manor was just as elegant as the one which stood previously; it looked almost like a castle made of light beige stone of some nature.

"Holy CHRIST…!" Mindy eyed the manor in astonishment as they wandered around the outside towards the back.

He surveyed the massive home as well in approval, squinting to make sure the exterior turned out the way he wanted before kissing her hand gently and leading her out back far into a field towards what once was the carriage house in the time period horse-drawn carriages were called for.

"What? Were your parents demigods?"

He smiled thinly, but dropped his eyes and didn't answer, "I'm glad you like the new construction…" he continued to stare at it as they moved around the mansion. She raised an eyebrow and hugged the arm of the hand she was holding.

"More important than me, YOU should be the one who likes it" she said wryly, "So YOU, Mr. owner, tell ME if you like it."

"I do" he nodded, but then stopped, "I mean, I haven't seen the INTERIOR-"

"So we will check it out once we go inside" she shrugged, dressed slightly nicer today in True Religion jeans and a pink silk camisole from Victoria's Secret, "Unless I am not dressed nice enough"

"Please" he smirked and looked down at her, "it's my house."

"What kinda horses do you have?" she asked lightly while excitedly pulling him since the carriage house was in sight.

"I have no idea to be completely honest with you" he kept up with her for a bit before finally letting her run inside and giggle like a kid in a candy store at all the different types of horses which resided there.

"Oh my GOD!"

"What?" worriedly he ran inside and searched until he found Mindy sitting on the floor with the smallest, most petite little white pony that only came up to her chest.

"I WANT HIM!" she shouted with a deep chuckle petting the pony's face, "I will buy him off you, seriously!" she giggled as the pony licked her cheek, so she nuzzled it before kissing its muzzle.

"You don't have to BUY him off me" he shook his head with an eye roll before bending next to her and staring at the animal, "What am I going to do with money?"

"Buy yourself an ice cream" she shrugged and continued playing with the pony's face, "I dunno. I want him though."

"Then he's yours" he kissed her cheek, "You can come here anytime you want, give the poor stable boys a break."

"Without YOU?" she raised a skeptic eyebrow and stood before tapping her thigh and making the pony walk alongside her.

"Because you honestly want me? Or are you using me for my horses?"

"That you would not know what to do with if someone paid you," she rolled her eyes and approached the stall of a big Clydesdale gleefully, "YAY I LOVE these things!" The little pony followed Mindy, which made Bruce have a weird look on his face as she giggled and pulled the Clydesdale's door open to hug its neck and literally hang on. "God, this is AMAZING!" She kissed the horse's cheek and snuggled against it, "I will call YOU Kahlua"

"Christ" Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head as Mindy knelt and pressed faces with the pony.

"And YOU will be Bailey."

"Name all my animals after alcohol" he nodded sarcastically, "You'll really help my image."

"Look" she turned and clasped a little hand over her mouth to bottle a laugh up before saying, "originally I was gonna name him Boozy," Bruce snorted and turned his head away to mask subtle laughter, "but-but I thought…" she paused and moved her hands in the air down her torso, "for YOU…that name would be a horrible choice, I changed for YOU, alright?"

"Please" he flicked a piece of hay at her with a roll of his eyes, not believing her for a millisecond.

"Quiet, you!" she pointed a finger at him before pushing the pony's bottom down and saying, "SIT, Bailey."

"Are you a trainer too?" he asked while leaning against Kahlua's stall door. She whipped her head of beautiful raven hair to face him and nodded.

"I am…" she shrugged with a giggle, "the biggest…horse dork."

"Nah, you're not a dork" he watched her eyes drop back to the pony before allowing the evil grin to spread across his face, "not unless you talk to the thing. Then you really ARE a dork."

"Kiss my fucking ass in D-minor, what hobbies do YOU have?" she asked while standing and leading Kahlua out of the stall simply by his nose before motioning to all the other horses now sticking their noses out to get attention as well, "We are gonna be here all day, just so you know" she giggled and led the biggest and smallest horse Bruce had out into the vast open grassy paddock. "Do you pick these guys out yourself?" she asked all the way from the gate, opening it and leading the horses in before Bruce closed it behind her.

"Absolutely not" he said with a laugh, leaning on the fence with great interest as Mindy hopped (actually hovered unknown to him) onto Kahlua's back and clicked twice for him to move forwards, which worried the hell out of Bruce. "Don't you need something on him? Like a…?" he had no idea.

"Saddles are for squares" she said while petting Kahlua's neck and using her calves to guide him at a trot towards Bruce at the fence, "and so are bridles."

"Do you put both legs on one side?"

"Maybe in the eighteenth century, idiot" she shook her head and huffed, "God, you know nothing! Come on, Kahlua" she turned him and cantered off in no particular direction, "You don't wanna catch his stupid."

…

"Holy shit you live here…" Mindy gasped as they wandered about Wayne Manor's new construction. He wanted to check out the Southeast Corner which was what he had wanted upgraded, but that was where the Batcave was located so he decided to steer clear for the time being.

"Technically not yet" he said while heading into a drawing room with her in hand. Eagerly she was exploring every nook and cranny of the new construction, offering her critiques whether it was asked for or not.

"When are you moving in then?" Mindy traced a very interesting statue with her finger when he shrugged and walked towards her with his hands in his pockets.

"Well, it's a little pointless for just me and Alfred, wouldn't you agree?"

"No" Mindy shook her head, "It is fine."

"For YOU, maybe" he swallowed and pulled her close with an arm around her waist, "It's a little intimidating for me."

"Did you bring girls here a lot?" she asked with a giggle, and the front he'd been putting on for her dropped without even him realizing it.

"No. I really never had a serious relationship."

"What about Rachel?"

He frowned and curled his lips inward for an uncomfortable silence.

"Rachel…" he tried unsuccessfully, taking another moment to clear his head before speaking again, "Rachel was…" he shook his head, "never really 'mine'. I loved her" he nodded while keeping his eyes avert, "not the way you'd traditionally think a person could love someone…it was different" he shrugged, "I never had her to myself." Mindy frowned and rubbed his back when he leaned and pressed a kiss to her. "She said she would wait for me though…" his lips trembled only for a split second when she hugged his neck and buried her face in it.

Instantly he wrapped his arms around her and leaned upright so her feet poked off the floor. She felt weightless to him, but in reality she was hovering to ease the amount of pressure on his neck.

"I am so sorry…"

"No" he shook his head and flipped her into a carry, stroking her fair face and smiling weakly, "you're an entirely different story."

"Oh?" she pressed the bridge of her nose against his and smiled as he sat on a couch with her, "Elaborate…?"

"Hm" he furrowed his brow before placing an airy kiss on her, "I met you less than a week ago and I adore you."

"Well" she shrugged and giggled, "We kinda spent each and every moment of every day together"

"No, it's not that" he shook his head and laid her down in his lap, keeping her head on the arm of the couch while caressing her skin with his fingers.

"Then what is it?" she pouted her lips when he shook his head and placed a kiss on her mouth.

"I've never met anyone like you in my life"

"If you let my kids in here I think they would break everything…"

"Your house is extremely neat for someone with five children"

"Thank my staff, not me" her eyebrows went up and she crawled into his lap before kissing his forehead, "I'm a rockstar, I don't clean shit."

"And we wouldn't have it any other way…" he sighed before wrapping his arms around her, "What are you doing tonight?"

"Can I take a rain check to be with my kids?" she lied behind a smile, her eyes trying to keep off the massive clawmarks all over him. He frowned, but then forced himself to nod and hold her closer. "Hey" she pouted her lips and touched his face, running her hands over his lips, "I will call you tomorrow…" she nodded while trying to keep his eyes focused on hers, "so think of something really cool" she kissed him, "that we can do together." Running her hands over his sculpted shoulders and feeling the muscles flex at her touch she smiled weakly and rested her head on his shoulder, "Maybe I will actually put clothes on and dress nice."

"I like the way you dress" he frowned and looked her over, "You don't have to live in a ball gown."

"Oh yeah?" she challenged coolly, "Then how come I never see YOU bummin' it?"

"Because" he said as if she were brain dead, "I'm not a bum, first of all…and neither are you. And second…" he poked the tip of her pointed nose with a wry grin, "one of us has to make up for the other."

"I do not get it" she took the finger on her nose and kissed the tip gently, "Are you the mean Bruce my Trisha Anne told me about or the nice Bruce that likes everything I say?"

"It's all so lovely" he grinned while running a hand through the lengthy raven hair, "You are absolutely beautiful, I enjoy your company, you're a sweetheart…" he took a deep breath and looked her in the eye longingly before saying hoarsely, "and I hate pretending to be someone I'm not because I don't want you to think of me that way."

"I have not touched a guy since…" she shrugged and hugged his neck, "he-who-shall-not-be-named"

"Is this a person or Lord Voldemort we're talking about here?"

"HAH!" she pointed at him and laughed loudly, "Don't you EVER call me a dork! Ever! Ever! EVER call me a dork! Fuckin' Harry Potter…!" she shook her head with a light giggle, resting her head on his chest before pulling away and staring at him incredulously, "Anything else you wanna tell me before I find out awkwardly again? Like…" running her fingers over the huge bruises and lacerations everywhere she shook her head, "did those come from the Jabberwocky living in the basement or something?"

"Maybe not the basement…" he cringed while pointing in a direction, "but I've heard some nasty sounds coming from the Southeast Corner."


	12. Chapter 12: Sid and Nancy

**A/N: Thank you and in honor of Valentine's Day ;)...**

From one of the windows in Bruce's penthouse Alfred could clearly watch Bruce walk around the front of the Lamborghini and lean into the open doorway, standing back up with two little arms twined around his neck and his lips glued to Mindy's. Photographers were snapping away at the popstar and the billion dollar playboy swapping spit right outside Mindy's building, but neither gave a damn. Alfred wasn't so worried for Bruce as he was for Mindy. Bruce wasn't exactly well-known for his treatment of women outside of the deceased Rachel Dawes who was the love of his life that never actually belonged to him. Sure he'd been treating Mindy like a princess, but he was expecting something from her in return that she wasn't so willing to simply give. Bruce's legal guardian didn't find that very kind or fair, but he was a single thirty-one year old male with more money than God. Bruce had claimed he felt something significant for her, but there was no way to prove that outside of his constant insistence of seeing her every moment of every day.

Locking the car Bruce headed in with her, and Alfred moved from the window to prepare his lecture concerning Mindy's safety once Bruce walked in the door.

…

Closing her door and curling her lips in to savor the last kiss Bruce gave her, Mindy took a deep breath and clamped a hand in her scalp to look up and see the Joker standing right in front of her.

"WAHHH!" she staggered backwards against the door, slapping a hand to her heart and hyperventilating, "Ja-what the FUCK?" she shook her head and barred her teeth, "That was ten fucking years off my life I coulda used!"

"Well" he sighed, reaching over and moving a few stray pieces of hip-length raven hair out of her face, "that's why they say to live in the present."

She yawned and shook her head, "You did not eat dinner, did you?"

"Now…" he seemed to completely skip her question and begin pacing around, "I can count the number of times I've saved your furry ass on my hands when I shouldn't be counting at all"

"Did you eat dinner or not?"

"How well would you fare off in a-"

"Did you eat dinner?" she raised a medium-toned eyebrow and headed towards the stairs to go up and get dressed, "You still have not answered me so I am assuming you have not."

"Suppose I told you to go out there and screw up anything you can" he spat while following up, making her nose wrinkle as she lifted her shirt over her head to shoo him away.

"Do you MIND?" she gasped while trying to close the door in his face, "Talk to me through the door!"

He pushed it right back open as she was snapping the push-up bra on and adjusting her chest inside so it stuck out right, "Sid stabbed Nancy, you know"

"What the fuck's THAT supposed to mean?" she asked while pulling her jeans off and working the Minx romper up and fixing the zipper, "If I were to set up a proportion you WAY out-Sid me!"

"Again…" his teeth clenched and he twitched, "you're trying my PA-tience, Kitten…!" Confused, she shook her head and reached for her boots. "I want you to cause as big a scene as you can manage on your own."

"And what if they shoot me down?" it took a moment for her to contemplate why she even bothered answering, "SOMEBODY needs to raise them because I know you won't."

"Why don't you give 'em ALL to your lucky new toy, Bruce Wayne?" he grumbled, which made Mindy shrug and extend her claws as her eyes began to glow a bright blue with the feline slit for a pupil.

"What the fuck do you care?"

"That's infidelity."

"I am not married. My husband is dead."

"According to MY calculations" he grabbed her wrist and slammed her back against the wall, "You ARE!"

"It is none of your business."

"If he knew who you really were…"

"But he will not find out"

"And you don't find anything strange about the fact that you only see each other during daytime?"

"Other than me bein' the Minx? No" she shrugged uncaringly and placed her opposite hand over his shoulder, "And AGAIN, did you eat dinner?"

He scowled and moved off her which let her glide past him and head into the kitchen to scrape whatever the maids threw together for dinner onto a plate since there were leftovers in the fridge.

"Sit your ass" she pointed to a barstool but he didn't listen, "Nancy" she rolled her eyes and groaned before putting a plate in the microwave and heating it up for thirty seconds, curling her lips in irritably and counting the seconds. Once it stopped she pulled it out and slid the plate across with a fork. "I didn' eat here tonight or cook I had a date so I cannot vouch."

"Kitten" he shook his head at her disappointedly and snagged the fork, "Inviting me over for dinner on the night you didn't even cook it?" he frowned at her and tilted his head, "You really ARE Sid today"

"Just shut the fuck up and eat" she placed both hands over his shoulders and guided him down onto a barstool.

The two basal necessities of human life she never really ever caught him doing, which were eating and sleeping. Ironically if he were ever to be in a semi-bearable mood, those were the times…and for one of them he was completely passed out and unable to open his big mouth.

Scraping against the plate made her suddenly perk and pout her lips before floating a few inches above the ground and peering over his shoulder to see he was scraping all the peas to one side of the plate and devouring everything else. Throwing a hand over her mouth she sniffled for a moment and tried to keep herself from choking before dropping her head to his upper back and kissing the back of his neck quickly, ignoring how bad he smelled and just resting the side of her face on the purple coat.

…

Bruce came in the door and immediately turned on the TV, but this time he didn't flip to a news channel. He just sat down for a minute and moved to MTV, where Stratusfear's new music video 'Paradigm' was playing. The moment was ideal for Alfred to make his case, and he did so, steadily approaching Bruce from behind as the young man's attention was snared by the ice-blue-eyed Mindy Stratus with digitally enhanced features.

"_My paradigm…! My sweet love I breathe. It's you I rely on… Shelter me from cold; I die in paradigm!" _was the chorus as the tiny young woman lied in the middle of a Manhattan street as cars and people whizzed by her.

"A paradigm is an example, pattern, or model of something" Alfred said plainly with his arms behind his back, causing Bruce to turn to face him, "Something Miss Stratigias certainly does not want repeated by you."

Bruce frowned and furrowed his brow while moving an arm to rest on the back of the couch.

"What's that supposed to mean, Alfred?" it came off as casual as he could keep his tone from that statement.

"It means, Master Bruce," he paused and stared deep into Bruce's empty hazel eyes, "You're dealing with an entire family of young children who come with her."

"You think I'm going to hurt her…" his face fell and he turned off the TV after the music video ended, "don't you?"

"I would prefer you did not and severed ties before you give her more material to make into music."

Bruce's eyes dropped to stare at the fabric on the couch before speaking again, softer this time.

"She's not a hot number, Alfred" his tone sugar-coated even more and he cracked the faintest trace of a close-lipped smile, "I met her kids"

"You would not know what to do with a child if it came with an instruction manual" Alfred denounced quickly, "Spending an afternoon with them is one thing, but being a father for children who are not your own is another position entirely."

"Surely it can't be THAT hard" his eyebrows rose and he smirked, "And why are we thinking that far ahead? I haven't even known her a week yet"

"Yet you insist on spending every waking moment of your day with the girl"

"Well" he shrugged, "I like her."

"Sure is a far cry from Miss Dawes, Master Bruce sir, wouldn't you agree?"

Bruce's expression completely blanked at the mentioning of her name and Alfred took a deep breath since Bruce was unable to speak.

"As much as you loved" he watched Bruce's face contort, "Still" he corrected to get the glare off Bruce's face, "love her, I don't personally agree that she was right for you. Her ideals were far over the man you really are and she could not accept who you have become"

"And who COULD?" Bruce stood and moved away from Alfred towards a window, "Who realistically could accept Batman? I'm a masked vigilante jumping off rooftops and pancaking cop cars by night," he turned and faced Alfred coldly, "who wants any of that?"

"Who wants to raise five young children who don't belong to them and treat them as their birth father should have?" Alfred challenged kindly, melting Bruce's icy gaze, "You never know, sir. You won't ever find out either if you use the young woman."

"I'm not" he dismissed, "I just don't know what to do with her…I have an image to keep people from speculating"

"As does she" he pointed out with a soft smile, "You are both public figures of a different caliber. You as the irresponsible billionaire playboy, and she as the irresponsible music star with five young children and no father to fill in for them"

"Very funny" Bruce rolled his eyes and shook his head for a moment, "I want her to see ME, Alfred. Not Bruce Wayne, but ME…" his eyes dropped and his mouth hung agape for a moment, "I feel like I've been lying to her this entire time and she's seeing the wrong things in me"

"Well whose fault is that then?"

"I'm nervous, alright?" he steeled himself and slightly slouched uncomfortably.

Alfred studied Bruce's posture paternally and observed how significantly it had changed, "Yet conundrums like these always have a way of settling themselves once each party admits that there is indeed a problem."

"Media is up my ass right now, Alfred" Bruce curled his thin lips in and left the window to go sit down and do some research on incidents deeming Batman responsible, "Batman can't breathe without being thrown in the epicenter of something awful"

"Nothing short of the usual, sir" Alfred had to stop trailing behind the young man to suppress a laugh.

"They've got this new strategy of disappearing just at the right time and making it look like I've been the one causing all this mess" he scowled before dropping to a chair and lazily reaching for his laptop, which Alfred handed over to him, "Thank you" he gave him a nod and cracked his neck before turning it on.

"I read such in the morning paper, Master Bruce…" Alfred nodded somberly, "Your Batarangs kicked out all power in the city"

Bruce shot him an incredulous look before shaking his head.

"I didn't go anywhere near that plant" he swallowed an oncoming snarl, "I was too busy sparring with a chick half my size to shoot out the power"

"But that doesn't explain the method of moving the Batarangs from your belt to the generators, Master Wayne"

"Don't go there with me right now, Alfred…" Bruce warned quickly, scanning down the article which read, 'Gotham in Flames: Batman to Blame?', "I'm ticked off enough"

Alfred scanned the article as well before pointing to a sentence in the plain black text.

"I'm thinking you're not being careful enough of your surroundings" he said astutely, "All you've been dealing with is Quinn and the young feline"

"So?" Bruce frowned while Alfred wore a look on his face which clearly screamed he knew something that Bruce didn't.

"Perhaps, Master Wayne…" he sighed and moved his hands behind him, "they're being used as noise agents to elude you from discovering the real mastermind behind them all"

"I haven't exactly seen anyone else or any trace of it" Bruce said pointedly while continuing to scan different stories of the incidents, which made Alfred's eyes widen even more as if proving himself correct.

"Can we assume then…" he stepped right behind Bruce and bent so he was eye-level, though Bruce didn't pull his attention from the screen, "that someone's been taking a backseat and enjoying the show…?"

"I don't know" he responded shortly, "I'm sure if they get me alone they won't hesitate to rip my jugular"

That sparked a long, pensive silence initiated by Alfred, who after much deliberation answered him simply.

"I don't think so."

Finally ripping his eyes from the screen Bruce furrowed his brow and pouted his lips as Alfred strolled away.

…

Minx's long black tail wagged slowly in the air as she floated between the grounded Joker and Harley, aimlessly glancing about at the city and trying to triangulate a route. She drifted for a moment to get a closer look at the city when the Joker scowled and yanked her back by her tail, "OW!"

"Listen to me" he said while digging his gloved hands into her chin, dark eyes screaming contempt in every language possible. "I've already told you what to do"

"Would you like me to pick up your dry-cleaning while we're at it, dear?"

"We're a TEAM, Kitten" he stroked her hair since her hood was currently down and she cringed, "And THAT means you listen or become Nancy Spungen!"

A low female grunt sounded from behind them and SMASH!

"WAHHH!" Minx shrieked and flipped her hood over her head, rising into the air and spinning around to see the beautiful young woman flying what looked like a toy plane full of explosives straight at her, "FUCK! ME!"

With Harley giggling and operating the remote control, the plane took right after her with frightening speed.

"I've never seen her move so fast"

"Of course not" he scowled, "her life depends on it."

…

Minx raced around a building in a complete circle before nearly flying straight into the remote controlled plane, "SHIT!" she threw her arms out and nearly collided with a flagpole before literally dropping from midair and free-falling to try and outsmart the idiot controlling the thing. The flames burning in the giant sparklers attached to the plane was all she needed to know she had to get the fuck out of there. She fell about fifteen stories and landed on her feet on top of a bus, panting for a moment and looking up as the plane chased right after her. Minx yelped and rolled off the bus before the plane was able to hit her, making it go straight through the white roof of the public transportation vehicle and blow it up from the inside.

Minx had been given enough recovery time to rake her cat claws down a patrolling officer's back and make her howl with pain as deep red lines became visible. Police sirens sounded and traffic stopped as Minx was grabbed by the hair and the woman swung her nightstick at Minx's stomach.

"NO NO no-no-no-no!" Minx's little body was able to swing backwards to dodge it and she raked her claws across her face, immediately pouncing on her and pinning her back to the top of a taxicab, but a bullet which was fired straight at her forced Minx's back to arch in a crazy fashion to dodge it. She gasped at the vehicles she was becoming surrounded by, "Aw CRUMBS go away!"

That momentary distraction bought the officer time to growl and hit Minx in the stomach with her wooden stick, sending the half-beast into a building and her head cracked the corner. A feline yelp was emitted and after a moment of feeling woozy, Minx slid a hand to the back of her head and screamed when she saw blood on her hand.

The officer grabbed her by the throat, "Afraid of a little blood?"

Minx hissed and kicked her in the gut with a short leg, ripping a Batarang out of her bra (given to her by the Joker) and slicing the woman's throat with it. Shrieking and trying to force herself to fly upwards as a rain of bullets were sent her way, one actually pieced her tricep, making her shriek and collapse on a rooftop, breathing through her teeth and crying in pain. Between the throbbing pain in her abdomen, the oncoming concussion, and the bleeding bullet wound she was having quite a shitty day.

"Fuck…!" she whimpered and scraped her beautiful face along the rough cement atop the roof, curling into a ball and whimpering in pain when three men in clown masks grabbed and swung her over their shoulders.

"Great goin', Minxy" one of the men playfully patted her butt and brought her towards the staircase to take her down, "The boss is proud real a' you."

"Is he?" she croaked a bit and the other men nodded a bit.

"Let's get you outta here."

What she didn't see was the explosion created a giant mockery of the Batman symbol on the pavement, wreathed in flame with a shit-ton of Joker cards flying into the air like confetti.

…

Still catching her breath and biting back bitter tears at how badly her ass was handed to her against that stupid cop, Mindy leaned against the railing of her balcony and shivered while holding her shaking hands over her trembling mouth.

"God damn it, FUCK!" Mindy screamed over the balcony at no one in particular as the Joker joined her side and stared at her like a broken toy.

"Would you mind explaining that pathetic excuse of a performance?" he asked nastily, earning a hateful glare from the tiny young woman until he forcibly spun her around despite her sudden violent struggles to face him. "If you're gonna fight like THAT against a chick who can't get out of her own god damn way at least do me one and explain WHY you're such a total and complete fuckup" he growled lowly into her ear, "and maybe I'll ahh…" he flicked his knife out and went to put it up to her mouth.

"FUCK you!" Mindy barred her teeth and tried to kick out of his grasp, but once he dug a nail into her spine she went still and he removed the thumb.

"She annihilated you" he shook his head disappointedly while eyeing her tiny frame, "what the HELL happened?"

"I thought you were proud of me?" her lips quivered and she sniffled, making him narrow his eyes and shake his head at her confusedly.

"I'm furious…" he trailed off before looking her in the eye, "You really ARE something else, you know that?"

"But…!" she whimpered when he shut her out with a glare, "Please, I" once her hand touched his arm he ripped it off and twisted the wrist around to see the wedding rings on her finger.

"Why in god's name do you still wear those?" he carelessly released her hand and started shaking his head confusedly at her, "If he's…'dead' and all…"

The very stare she gave him made his back turn and he waved her off.

"Are you sleeping with her?"

Knowing what it'd do he thought about lying, but shook his head, "Why?"

"Because she loves you"

"I HIGHLY doubt that matters to you…" he motioned to the two of them and shook his head, "and that's coming from a third party outsider with no real interest or insight on the situation. I don't know which of you is more pathetic than the other"

"I hate you" she growled when he raised a finger and shook his head stiffly.

"No…" he licked his lips and shook his head tauntingly, "you don't."

"Why don't you stay with me?" she croaked and shook her head drearily, "Where do you go at night? Aren't you cold?"

Leaning over the railing himself he laughed loudly before hunching his spine and sighing, looking out over Gotham before exhaling loudly.

"You're always good for a LAUGH, Kitten" his voice octave got higher as she tentatively joined his side, resting her elbows next to his and trying to look out over the scenery herself, "It really IS a pretty city, huh?"

She stared at him blankly, and he nodded along satisfactorily before fiddling with his own gloved fingers.

"Good, good. I um..." he twiddled his thumbs before grimacing, "just wanted to check if you were listening."

"Two ears and one mouth" she recited a bit uncharacteristically robotically when he waved her off and shook his head.

"Don't talk like the rest of those idiots, you and I both know that's a crock"

"So what WAS I supposed to do today, Nancy?" she asked in a bit of a deep voice, allowing the light wind to lift the hip-length tangled mess of hair off her back before gently stroking her fingers along the awkward bare part of his wrist where the glove ended but the jacket didn't exactly cover.

"Doesn't matter what you were SUPPOSED to do, now does it?" he replied tersely, "All that really matters…" his head turned to face her and his brow furrowed with a nod, "is what happened."

"And…?" she raised both medium-toned eyebrows waiting for a response, and he knew that was exactly what she was anticipating so he didn't give it to her.

"Assess yourself"

"Hey! No!" she frowned and pouted her lips in agitation, "What kinda boss are you anyway?"

"I'm not your boss" he said stiffly before licking his lips quickly, "You came to Gotham on your own accord…" his voice drawled out a bit before raising both eyebrows indifferently, "I instructed that harlot to come back"

"You talked about me"

"Just because I didn't send for you doesn't mean I wasn't expecting you to show up."

"Why?"

"Why…" his body pivoted so his back was now to the railing and he licked his lips with a snigger and held his arms out, "because YOU can't keep your hands off me!"

"You stink" she turned her nose up to him and scowled, "Literally."

"Learning to specify your own puns, my dear" he nodded along while pointing the knife in her direction, "Good girl."

"So does that mean you're gonna shower?"

"Do I have to?"

"Either that or the hose" she extended her claws and shrugged, "Pick your poison before I pick for you."

"Please…" he wrinkled his nose and glanced about the large balcony, "There's no hose here! Who are YOU trying to fool?"

She tried to remain stoic, but ended up smirking and taking a step towards him since he was just leaning on the rail like that.

"Well then I guess the alternative's the nearest fire hydrant"

"Oooo" he grimaced and rubbed his rear end, "NOW we're talking catch-22 ultimatums!"

"Pick" she nodded at him stiffly before shaking her head at his physical state, "Then you get toothbrush and-"

Her straightened raven hair was grabbed at the scalp and chapped lips slammed to hers; immediately she pounced forwards. Kissing him back in astonishment and starting to cry like a teenage girl she flung her arms around him and lifted one of her legs around his waist, actually tugging at his clothing when he started chuckling lowly. In horror she ceased all motion as the laughing gradually transformed into a cackle and tears were streaming down her face which now had traces of red and white makeup smeared on the pale skin.

"Ohhhh you just COULDN'T resist, could you?" still holding her hair and ignoring how her leg dropped and her arms became noodles, he shook his head as if not even surprised and continued mocking her, "And here I am thinking you just wanted to hose me down so I don't reek up your pretty penthouse here"

"Please, no, no no no I…" it died in her throat and in complete mortification she backed off, shaking her head and clutching her temples as he continued laughing, "Do you do this to HER too?"

"Why, that would spoil everything for US! Now wouldn't it?" he watched her cry and pushed off the railing so he stood upright. "You know…" he squeezed his eyes shut as he snickered more and stalked forwards with heavy nods, "you're a great one to fuck with." He noticed the way she was looking at him and specified, "Pun intended."

"Why do you do that?" running a hand through her hair and shaking her head frantically, Mindy cried harder than she had in a long-ass time and couldn't even make eye contact anymore, "Why do…?"

"Awww" he cocked his head and frowned playfully at her, "Why so serious, Kitten?"

Still she didn't answer, shaking her head at him like he'd punched her in the face before sobbing loudly in denial that he did that…and he couldn't fucking deal with it either.

"You know what?" he scowled and stepped closer to her, wagging that knife of his carelessly, "How about you man-up a little before deciding to talk to me, alright? I can't deal with this…" he waved a hand in the air for the word, "petty…female…bullshit. I'M Sid today. Come back to me when you grow a pair."

She shook her head drearily and shot out to grab his arm, "NO!" she shrieked when he looked down and glared at her holding his arm.

"No?" he asked incredulously, "NO?" the closer he got the more frightened she became, so he smiled widely before showing off his Glasgow grin to her, "You wanna know how I got these SCARS?" he went to continue as he always did but stopped, scowled, and barred his teeth, "Oh…that's right…NOW I remember" he nodded and shoved his knife up to the corner of her mouth, "I smile for YOU, Kitten!" he nodded right at her before withdrawing the knife and making his own exit.

She sniffled and wept in disgust before slamming her little hands to the railing, staring at a billboard in the distance with her face plastered on it. She screamed at the top of her lungs and headed back in the house, crashing the door shut while burying her face in the couch cushions; bawling her eyes out.

* * *

_"From his lips not words alone pleased her." _

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost _


	13. Chapter 13: To Play God

**A/N: Thank you! :)!**

That night Commissioner Gordon, Trish, Viper, and Batman all stood staring at each other on the rooftop of the MCU. Viper shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. His beady blue eyes narrowed at both Gordon and Batman, whose usual poker face hadn't changed despite the emergence of the second great tragedy.

"I want you to be careful" Gordon said while looking Batman straight in the eye, "Whatever that…" he placed a hand on his hip and waved the other in the air out of pure frustration, "THING is, she's mounted your head on a stick for the media"

"She got her hands on these" Batman's raspy croak replied while looking Gordon in the eye, but it wasn't that cold gaze he shot at everyone else. This particular staredown he was having with Gordon was on a much higher level than what Viper or Trish could have imagined. What the duo didn't know was the history that sat between the two men and just how greatly they had benefitted from the other over time. It was because of Batman that Gordon was Commissioner in the first place. He pulled a Batarang out of his pocket and showed everyone. "Somehow she grabbed one off me and has been using them to carry out almost every incident" his lips pouted slightly before continuing, "yet she's not alone…"

"You think perhaps this is…?" Gordon's eyebrow rose as he looked at Batman for any sort of lead.

Batman retorted coldly, "He's had enough to time to drag the cat from Manhattan and negotiate"

"But this is the Joker we're dealing with here…" Gordon frowned and exhaled while slapping a hand to his thigh, "he is KNOWN for not negotiating, someone else had to have leashed the thing and brought her"

"And now she's using my weapons to tear apart this city" Batman scowled and glared at the floor for a moment.

"I don't believe you" Trish folded her arms across her chest and approached the Dark Knight slowly. He looked at her for a long moment, taking in her features from the Chanel glasses which she wore over her face to the Dolce and Gabbana navy pinstripe suit Mindy had picked out and bought for her. "I think you're just covering your own tracks because you realize that people have started to catch on, I mean…" she shrugged nastily, "how does anyone know that YOU'RE not the one controlling Minx?"

"I have ONE rule" he responded, "but I have an old friend who has none. Someone sick enough to leash a monster like that and try to stir the press by using my weapons."

"Giving you no choice but to cut that pussy's throat" Viper said as if the other three were idiots, "Minx can't get out of her own way half the time, he's gotta know she's a putz."

"Well that's not very nice" the sweetly high-pitched voice said from behind Viper, making him crane his neck to be kicked in the face.

"WAHH!" Trish screamed and knelt to catch Viper's head before he hit the ground. Gordon whipped out his gun and pointed it at her while Batman simply stood with his fists clenched.

"You…!" Gordon threatened with a gulp, "Don't you take another step!"

Minx's glowing blue eyes narrowed in amusement while watching how steady Gordon's hands were with that gun, "Have you ever fired one of those?" she asked with a snicker while steadily approaching Gordon, "I mean, you think because you've got a barrel in my face that you're going to stop me?"

"I'm warning you…" Gordon's voice rose even sterner, "Miss, stop walking NOW and get your hands up"

"Or WHAT?" she challenged coolly when a familiar swoop moved behind her.

"You'll have to deal with me."

Minx spun around and ducked Batman's blow before he could punch her in the face; growling like a wildcat and kicking him square in the kneecap, though he didn't exactly go down. He reached for her tail and grabbed it, which scared her and made her try and rake his eyes.

"OH my god!" Trish shrieked as Batman dropped Minx before she could get his eyes and twisted her arm around, but again she went for his face so he head-butted her; refusing to release her arm to the point that she kicked him in the armored gut and flew into the air to shake him off. He shot a grapple hook around her ankle.

"It's stronger than fishing wire" Batman told Minx calmly as she mewed in the air and struggled to get it off her ankle, "Your claws are unable to break it."

"How'd you know to create that?" Gordon still pointed the gun at Minx as she struggled in the air. Viper was on his feet and kept an arm around Trish's waist while watching the scene with Minx, Batman, and Gordon.

"Her claws are composed of the exact fibers as that of a mountain lion…" he turned to look Gordon in the eye, "she can't possibly break out of it by scratching."

With a simple tug he ripped her to the ground and Minx growled, actually flying low and tying Batman's legs together until he pulled out a pair of pliers and snapped the rope before it could trip him. Minx giggled in victory and pounced on Batman's back, so he flipped her over his head and slammed her arms to the ground when her legs kicked up and monkey-flipped him onto his back.

"Christ…!" Viper's eyes widened as he kept his gun pointed directly at Minx.

Batman easily flipped Minx back over and straddled her chest, but up Minx's legs went and caught him in a head-scissors, twisting her entire body and causing Batman to corkscrew onto his back. He was on his feet though in a heartbeat, already pulling Minx's tail again when she kicked him square in the jaw; throwing her arms out and hissing when he threw a Batarang directly at her stomach. She twirled and dodged while laughing manically, licking her clawed hands and running them through her hair; ice-blue eyes glowing from under the hood in the night.

"Is that a person or a mental patient?" Viper gulped while readying fire at Minx.

"It's not human" Trish eyeballed her with a grimace, clutching her gun for dear life when Batman finally had enough and looked to the trio standing behind him.

"Get down…"

"But what about arresting her?" Gordon asked with a frown when Batman simply looked at her.

"You tell me what kind of prison bars could withstand her"

"So what are we gonna do?" Viper snapped, "Just let her roam the streets?"

Minx stood patiently, floating upside down and giggling at them all when Batman tried to dismiss Viper.

"I'll deal with her" was Viper's cue to leave.

"And what are you gonna do? Let her go again?" Viper shook his head while aiming his gun right at her chest, "I don't think so."

Immediately Batman's eyes narrowed and he was in Viper's face before Viper knew what hit him.

"Whether free or in captivity she doesn't deserve to die by our hand" he motioned to her before looking back at Viper, "Who are you to believe you have the right to play God?"

"I believe" Viper countered with a sneer, "That I have a gun and a badge as opposed to the cape and mask because you're too much of a coward to show your face"

BAM! Minx tackled Batman and they rolled around on the ground. She crawled atop and straddled his chest before giggling.

"Hiya, Batsy!" she bent to look him in the eye when she yelped as his skull rammed into hers and she scraped under his chin with her nails. She actually made sure he bled. Viper's gun wavered loosely in his hand while aiming at Minx's back.

"Viper, NO!" Gordon shouted when Batman's attention was caught. Viper didn't move his eyes from Minx's little body though as she and Batman wrestled on the ground, "VIPER!"

"Enough of this…" Viper whispered harshly in a pant before firing at Minx, but immediately the little woman was grabbed by both her tiny arms and spun around by Batman, who took the bullet to his lower back. The armor stopped it from reaching his skin thankfully. Lucius had made recent developments so his suit was bullet-proof and he'd have to thank him later for it. Minx on the other hand, gasped as did Trish and Gordon.

"Randall!" Trish shook her head at him while Gordon could only narrow his eyes in disappointment, snagging the gun as Batman gave Minx one look before turning to grab Viper by the throat and pin him to the ground. Trish screamed yet again and crawled away.

"I told you not to fire…" Batman hissed to the point that it was incoherent, "You're a coward and a sad excuse for a man who claims to be a cop! If I were Gordon I'd hang you by your own necktie…" he heaved until Gordon's hand went over his shoulder and he calmed significantly, "Which is why I don't have his job." He turned to face Gordon, who could only close his eyes apologetically and look to see Minx had vanished.

"I'm so sorry…" Gordon eyed Viper disappointedly before looking back to Batman with a slight glaze over his eyes, "that shouldn't have happened, I expect more of my officers than what was just displayed here"

"He's from New York" was all Batman had to say to that.

"He's not a cop!" Viper yelled while pointing at Batman, "He has no authority here!"

"But I do!" Gordon stepped forwards and corrected, pointing a finger at Viper, "And I told you to cease fire! Yet you deliberately disobeyed me!" he calmed for a moment before approaching Viper, "I should fire you for this, you know…" he eyeballed the new guy before sighing, "but that would look horrible on my part being that I just hired you…so instead you're on a two-week suspension. I want your gun and badge until you're allowed to return to work."

"But-"

"Don't worry," he helped him to his feet and clapped a hand over his back, "you'll still be paid."

"Where'd he go?" Trish frowned when she realized that Batman had disappeared, and Gordon could only shrug.

"He does that…"

…

Swiftly Batman headed down a side street with his cape flowing like a flag behind him as he went. The Tumbler was in sight in stealth mode, so Batman pressed a button to activate the headlights and climb inside when a velvety tail brushed under his nose from atop the vehicle. Once he lifted his eyes there she sat with her forearms crossed in front of her body, hood up, and her legs poking in the air as she lied on her stomach right on top of the vehicle.

"What do you want?" he rasped lowly, staring in disgust when her glowing feline orbs narrowed.

"You saved me…" she said sternly, "why?"

"A man with a gun has no right to choose who lives and who dies" he told her hoarsely, eyes not moving from hers. Ironically both their eyes were wreathed in black; Minx was hidden behind a little fur-trimmed hood while his were masked with rings of black eye shadow to further conceal who they really belonged to.

"I make your life hell" she said while continuing to wag the very tip of her tail, "I've done some terrible things…" her head cocked to the side, "I deserve to die."

"I'm aware of that" he said without nodding because the headpiece of his costume prevented it, "but if justice is to be served, it won't be by my hand no matter what it is you do to me or this city"

"And why would that be?"

"I become vigilante"

"You're no hero…" she purred, "Heroes don't attack cops."

"I'm whatever this city needs me to be"

"So if they hunt you down like a puppy dog you'll totally let them just do it?"

"If that's what's best"

"Then I'm right…" she nodded, "you're not a hero…" he wanted to nod, "you're something greater." She knew she had his interest, "That's why turning someone like you into an asshole is no problemo"

"And you've done a fabulous job thus far" he responded with heavy sarcasm, not making a move to get into the Tumbler because Minx might jump him again. This could all be a ploy he knew better than to pour an ounce of trust into the dangerous feline.

"Now why would I go after the man who just saved my life?" she asked amusedly while looking around her in slight paranoia, almost as if she were expecting someone to pop out of nowhere. Obviously that put Batman on-edge too, and he glanced about quickly, "No…" Minx's sigh brought his attention back, "it's just me and you, buddy"

"Then why are you expecting someone-"

"I'm not checking for YOU…" she scoffed, "I'm checking for ME…" she licked her clawed hand and ran it over her hair, "makin' sure Gordon don't send his doggies out to get me and you're jus' keepin' me here all nice and distracted."

He narrowed his eyes and studied her frame closely, "Where's the Joker?"

"Pfft" she waved him off and shrugged, "Who the fuck sees him? I don't even see him"

He was intrigued to learn that, and simply by studying how his lips made a straight line she answered.

She exhaled with a cat-like stretch of her spine and arms, "He starts goin' out there parading around and choppin' mouths up people won't be afraid. They won't think he has any real power now."

"I surmised so"

"Yeah," she said pointedly with an eye roll, "see, even YOU know that shit when you shouldn't. But, you're in for it now so it's not like ya can figure it out; hell…" she snorted, "I don't even know what the fuck's goin' on he's lied to me like seven times since I got here and I'm his confidant"

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Do I look like a girl with alotta awesome friends to go tell all my exciting stories?" she blew air past her lips and flopped onto her back, "No, buddy…I respect what you did for me, I only think it's fair if I give you a bit of a boost." She thought about everything she was saying and she came off as way too inviting. "I killed those people" she noticed his interest spiked even more, "the set-ups" she held her hands up and sniggered, "that was ALL him and, SHIT; for someone without a plan he sure does string together the most organized string of random events, huh?" she nodded, "But it's okay, I cut that bitch's fucking throat. Let a copper shoot me too" she nodded, "right in my little arm." Her large eyes widened, "Nasty bitch she was…but I stopped her shit. I'm sure you'll be hearing about it from your buddies after the Joker cards blew out of that little plane chasin' me."

"I work alone."

"So it seems I am not the only loser in town" she said with raised eyebrows though he couldn't see; "only I am not a self-righteous douchenugget."

"What is the Joker planning?"

"OH my god…!" she chuckled lowly and purred, "Oh my god! OH. MY. GOD. Does he REALLY look like a guy with a plan? Do you REALLY think he honestly knows what he's doing or that he just happens to be REALLY good at improvising?"

"His plans are far too well-structured to truly be random. They all have a purpose and significance"

"Because you totally know him better than anyone else, I understand" was her heavily sarcastic response with an exaggerated nod.

That made his eyes narrow a bit.

"What do you DO?" she asked with a giggle at the look on his face, "Ya know…when you're not chasin' my butt?"

"Sleep"

"Yeah but uh…" she patted the Tumbler and looked him in the eye to let him know she wasn't born yesterday, "I doubt ya get paid to jump off rooftops."

"I'd ask you the same thing if it had any significance."

"Oooo burn, Batsy!" she gasped while placing a hand to her nearly exposed chest, "Why so serious?"

"You're a murderer"

"You don't know that" she dismissed nastily, "You don't know SHIT about me, that's why it pisses you off so much that you can't catch me."

"I could have had you arrested"

"But you didn't"

"I could have allowed that bullet to pierce your back"

"But you didn't" she grinned victoriously. Point for Minxy. He was getting blanked. "You say you have no right to kill me, yet you can judge me?"

"You have no motives that can be identified"

"How about…" she pouted her ruby lips before leaning forwards slightly, "If I don't listen they'll roast my half-kitty ass."

"What concluded your efforts?"

"You saved my life…" she stood and began to pace slowly, "it wouldn't be decent of me to kill off the guy who just saved me."

"Then go…" he nodded towards the sky for her to take off.

"So we call a truce for tonight?" she purred, watching him eye her for a long second before agreeing. "I'll be back to kick your butt tomorrow…" she nodded, but then stopped after rising off the vehicle, "sleep tight, Batsy."

Without a word further he watched her fly off before climbing into the Tumbler and driving home in stealth mode so nobody could annoy him, but that whole conversation with Minx was simply…civil. Uncomfortably civil. Far too civil for his taste. She was making confetti out of buses and cutting cop's throats yet he spoke to her as if they ran into the other in the produce aisle.

…

It wasn't uncommon to reminisce while in flight, it was something that had become second nature being her creepy little head did it constantly. She was a paranoid schizophrenic; she didn't let a single thing slip past…especially when that thing clinging to her mind was the very reason she was not dead or in an institution.

"_Jack!" _

_Immediately the pile of monthly bills were forsaken and put off until god knows when because the little peroxide-blonde with brunette roots grown in at least an inch and a half lingered in the kitchen doorway, leaning against the frame and lolling her head to the side so it rested against the wood. _

_Jack leaned away from the two-person kitchen table and tried hard to smile at his wife, but it was practically impossible. Along with the fact that the both of them were eighteen and newly married after being together since they were five, she dropped out of high school at sixteen to heavily pursue her music career and him following suit quickly made life a thousand times worse. His father had kicked his ass forty times over warning that he was throwing his life away by marrying the notorious schizophrenic freakshow, but being that he despised his father he really didn't pay any mind. _

"_Well hello beautiful…" the corners of his mouth twitched upward before extending an arm. She took awkward steps so she literally walked on every other kitchen tile to avoid stepping on a crack and 'breaking the floor through the concrete and falling to die'. _

"_Hi" replying shortly she plopped in his lap and pouted her lips at the pile of bills on the table. Tilting his head a bit so his long blonde hair hung to the side he gingerly brushed through the long blonde strands on her head with the tips of his fingers. _

"_What's up, sweetheart?" like her, he also had a bit of an out-there accent which sounded much more Australian than anything else. She on the other hand, was purely Canadian since they were in Toronto. _

_She shrugged but said nothing, trailing the tips of her fingers along the edges of the envelopes that he was stressing so much about sending out. He couldn't afford the medication she needed to truly stunt the disorder from making her a jittery mess all the time. _

"_Sweetheart, what is it?"_

_Without another word she started to cry loudly, which truly made him freak the hell out and shake his head to make it stop._

"_Nooo shush shush shush shush shush" shaking his head he held a finger to her lips and placed both hands on her face so he could gently force eye contact, "What's bothering you, huh? You know you're safe with me, right? No boogeyman's allowed in here."_

_She sniffled while grabbing his face and giving him a big kiss, "Smile and stop worry and you are so sad all the time-"_

"_Noooo" he pouted playfully and shook his head, "Sad? With YOU?" he poked her nose and she nodded drearily, "Never. I LOVE you, honey…!"_

_She sniffled and looked him dead in the eye, giving him that blank stare she always did when in a funk and he shook his head._

"_I'm NEVER sad to be with you, alright? I love you."_

"_But…" her fingertips went to the corners of his mouth and she frowned, "you do not…" she tried to pull the corners of his mouth up._

"_Nooo no no no, I smile!" he grinned for her and deep dimples appeared across his clean-shaven face, leaning forwards and planting a big kiss on her lips, "I smile, see? I love you!" _

_Again her fingers just trailed down his face and ran through his waved blonde hair, making him chuckle lowly before helping her spin around so she straddled over his waist._

"_Yes, I love you I love you I LOVE you" schizophrenics needed constant reassurance of everything, and he was so used to it that it didn't bother him, "And if it makes you happy I'll smile forever, alright?"_

_She nodded like a four year old would; hugging his neck and pressing the most frantic kisses she could manage on him._

"_Miranda? Miranda, sweetheart…" again his fingers groomed her thick blonde hair and they rubbed noses, "Why so serious?"_

_She frowned and traced his thin lips, getting her fingers kissed for her efforts and she giggled loudly before crying again and holding onto him for her life, "I need you Jack, I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you Jack DO NOT LET THEM TAKE YOU AWAY NO!" with a shriek her head went into his neck and she sobbed as he rubbed her back, keeping his chin atop her head like a lovesick beagle before sighing._

"_I promise, alright?" kissing her hair and rubbing her back he nodded, "No one's going to take me away from you." _

_Her child-sized pinky finger was suddenly in his face and he had to stare at it fondly._

"_Pinky promise?" she asked loudly from the crook of his neck, and while squiggling around he got an arm free to hook the pinky in hers and kiss it firmly._

"_I swear." _

"_For REAL?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_No LIES?"_

_He had to count to three in his head and then laugh it off lovingly, "None."_

"_Good. 'Cuz I love you Jack, more than anyone, honest" _

"_Kitten…" he exhaled loudly and tried to lull her to sleep on his chest so he could continue bill-paying, "you're my heart." _

With a hand slammed over her mouth, Minx was practically screaming she sobbed so hard. Her entire face, though hidden under the hood, was completely covered in black from her eye makeup and she seriously contemplated dropping from the sky and becoming street pizza.

* * *

_Imparadis'd in one another's arms.  
-John Milton, __Paradise Lost_


	14. Chapter 14: Paradigm

**A/N**: **Thank you!**

Minx landed on her balcony and flipped her hood off carefully. The night had that unusual serene chill which sent an uncomfortable snap up her spine and she twitched. Not a star was out because it was a new moon so there was no illumination. Minx pursed her plump deep red lipstick-covered lips and checked the sky before turning towards the glass door she had left open for herself only to yelp and scream; her tail became a bushy fuzz from fright.

Chelsea was up far past her bedtime with both her hands pressed to the windowpane.

"Chelsea?" Mindy gasped at the ice-blue eyes of the three-year-old waiting for her to walk in the door excitedly, actually bending her knees covered in baby pink satin pajama bottoms and bouncing for Mindy to get inside, "Chelsea…!" she caught her breath and finally shook her head with a weak grin at Chelsea giving her mother her most dazzling smile of baby teeth, lengthy loosely curled blonde locks moving with the jumpy motions of her body, "Okay, okay I am coming…" Mindy smiled warmly and started towards the door when a metal pole clubbed her in the back and she screamed as did Chelsea.

Mindy went down on her stomach immediately but had thrown her hands out to catch herself, and flipped over only to look deep into the eyes of the Joker. Along with her own erratic breathing becoming more haggard her glowing eyes widened intensely, and she prepared a claw to slash at him when the pole was discarded.

"Now that I've caught your attention…" his eyes drifted to Chelsea screaming at him from fright on the opposite side of the glass wall, "Is that the retarded one?"

"Don't you TOUCH HER!" Mindy growled like a tigress and launched off the ground to rip him away from the window, but effortlessly he slammed her back to the ground and tangled his fingers into her scalp; dragging her off the ground and holding her by her hair. He switched from her hair to her throat and she gagged, slashing and kicking at him when he gave her a glare and her body went limp like a bone fish.

"What were you doing with Bat-breath?" he grumbled, stone expression not changing to the point that Mindy had to cough several times before trying to speak. His vice hold on her neck wasn't helping her speech, but she hissed and tried to continue to get out of it anyway.

"I owe the Bat my LIFE!"

"Maybe…" he cocked his head dangerously and narrowed his eyes, "if you had actually given it thought and CALLED ME…"

"You were nowhere!" she snarled, barring her teeth at him and arching her spine, "And don't you give me that shit! You woulda let me die, I know you…"

"Obviously not too well" he whispered harshly into her ear when she shook her head and gagged, actually trying to use his chest as a launching pad to no avail.

At first his face contorted into an intense hatred which frightened Mindy and she drew a quick gasp of air, but then he found himself unable to follow through with his gut. His grip tightened on her throat as his face conveyed both rue and pure anger, so out of pity he thrashed her to the ground and she landed on her feet as cats always did; gasping and whipping her head of thick raven hair around to see him panting through his nostrils while staring her down.

"You could have CALLED me" he stalked closer towards the young woman who backpedaled on her rear against the glass window. Chelsea followed her mother from inside the house, placing her hands on the pane and pouting her plump lower lip as the Joker stalked closer ever so slowly. Mindy threw her hands out to the railing on her right and the glass on her left, panting and darting her eyes about nervously.

"Oh! You mean with the cell phone that you don't have? SURE! WHY NOT?" she sneered while hissing like a cat, "Or maybe I'll just use your BUSINESS CONTACT" she ripped a Joker card out of her bra and flung it at him.

"Miranda, Miranda, Miranda" he ripped her to her feet by her hair and slammed her upper back against the railing, making her whimper and Chelsea swayed waywardly watching her mother getting smacked around, "If I tell you I would have CAME if you called-"

"Where the FUCK were you?" she raised her eyebrows, "Huh? What? Were you STALKING me or something?" she trailed off at the look on his face before trying not to laugh into her hand, "Holy fucking shit, are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me?"

He cocked his head in her face, making her wince and dig her nails into his hand to get him off her scalp to no avail, "No, that was a legitimate nonverbal confirmation to your RUDELY delivered demand."

"What do you want from me?" eyed him like a wounded doe.

"I have nothing to want anything from anyone, brainiac."

Staring her down, watching how her magnificent ice-blue eyes glowed in the night and the lights from inside the penthouse danced through her lengthy raven hair his head slowly descended downwards, brushing the tip of his nose along the side of her neck as if smelling her before stepping back and leaving her to sink to the floor with her knees pulled to her chest for a minute to hyperventilate, vibrating in denial before curling her lips in and crying. A little hand dug into her hair and her eyes ceased glowing, slowly pushing to her feet and zombie-stepping towards the door in shock. Immediately Chelsea was there crying hysterically at the Joker just standing there, so with a sniffle herself Mindy swept her off the ground and slammed the door shut behind them…triple-locking it as if that would actually protect them from the Joker. She knew it wouldn't.

He stared at the lock, shrugged, and with what looked like a pin from his jacket he unlocked the door and came right in. Chelsea shrieked and he cringed at the sound of the baby crying; Mindy quickly burying her face in her shoulder and bouncing her quickly.

"No no no sssshh…it's JUST makeup, babycakes…he's wearing scary makeup that's all…that's all" she cooed while rolling her eyes at her unofficial boss, "Seriously?" she shook her head at him and motioned to Chelsea, "You HAD to do that?"

"Yeah" he nodded while placing his knife down on one of the black granite kitchen counters and heading for the stairs, "and shut that thing up before I make her mouth double in diameter."

She softened the moment he went into her bedroom and slammed the door.

…

After lying Chelsea back down in bed in her room, Mindy tentatively edged towards her own bedroom and cringed before turning the knob. Though her room was completely deserted she could hear the shower going, and that brought her curiosity to her bathroom and she took a deep breath.

At first, of course, there was debate, but she went with her gut and turned the silver French handle. Coughing from steam, she opened the door and seemed relieved to say the least to find none other than the purple and green custom-sewn clothing strewn about everywhere.

"It's about time!" she yelled over the roar of the water after closing the door behind her, causing his attention to divert to her four-foot-ten frame. The makeup was completely gone from his face, revealing the jagged embedded scars. She shook her head quickly at him, tears obviously blurring her vision. She dropped the zipper on her Minx romper and climbed out of it nervously, standing there just gazing longingly at him.

"What?" he asked after a long silence, eyeballing her naked body as if bored by it before pushing open the shower glass door and motioning inside with a sigh, "Oh, get in!"

Wordlessly keeping her eyes averted in she went before closing the door behind her and running a hand through the saturated dyed-green hair, "Your roots suck."

He feigned a smile for a moment before backing her against the glass wall slowly.

"I highly doubt…" the voice dropped to a bit of a purred whisper, "that you came in here with intentions of insulting me."

Her hands reached up and trailed down the frightening indents up from the corners of his mouth, shivering and beginning to cry audibly while shaking her head.

"I don't care about the scars…!" a dreary croak, jumping up and wrapping her legs around his waist she kissed him as fully as she could. Her arms hooked underneath his so she could grip his shoulders and kiss all up his throat. "Please…" she kissed him again before gliding her tongue into his mouth, ignoring the rancid state of his teeth and begging to have him closer.

"You better be on something or I'm grabbing a hanger"

"No" her head shook and she swallowed hard, "I am on the pill."

"Fine" he said indifferently before really pressing her hard against the glass wall and positioning himself, "God knows there's been enough mistakes."

"Why do you do this?" she whispered into his ear harshly as their bodies joined, kissing every single indent on his face and sobbing into his skin.

"Ease up on the collagen, will you?" he pulled back and grimaced, reaching up and quickly squeezing her plumped bottom lip between his thumb and index finger, "Christ almighty its completely engulfing me; you look like a fish!" he shook his head in distaste and she started laughing so hard it didn't even matter that it was a direct insult on her cosmetic surgery. Her face just dipped into the crook of his neck and she laughed so hard it hurt her gut, holding onto him as he resumed before giggling and nipping his earlobe.

"See, if I had listened to you and grown a pair we could not do this" she sighed slyly when he rolled his eyes, grabbed her hair at the scalp, and drove her into the wall harder until she leaned forwards and grabbed the sides of his face with both her hands and giggled louder, "We are so CUTE all the TIME…!" poking her tongue between her teeth because she knew he hated it she leaned in and gave him three big kisses along with the annoying sound effects, "Muah! Muah! Muah!"

…

"Please don't go!" Mindy shook her head as he finished unevenly caking the white face makeup with the bright red along his Glasgow grin and the smoldering black surrounding his brown eyes. She wore a lavender silken robe and was holding a hand over her mouth, trembling violently, "Where are you going? Why are you leaving?"

"I already fucked you even after I SWORE to myself that I wouldn't"

"You do not believe in plans" she countered with narrowed eyes, crying her eyes out as he shoved the small containers in his jacket pocket and pulled the purple gloves on over his hands.

"Ahhh so you DO have the ability to retain memory" he nodded with wide eyes, "I'm impressed."

If he were anyone else she would have garnered a slap across his face.

"Don't go…" again with the begging, "Please, don't go! What are you gonna do?"

"I don't know" he shrugged while starting for the door but stopped once he got to her vanity table, "Like you said, I'll make it up as I go"

"But I don't WANT you to!" she yelled and stamped her foot childishly, receiving a pat to the top of her head like a puppy as he stared at a wedding picture framed on her vanity table.

"Can't always get what you want" he sighed indifferently, "Last thing I need is to scare the hell out of the little sunspots wherever they may be"

"In bed" she snipped before grabbing his arm, "Stop…" she growled, "LEAVING me all the time!"

That made something inside his scrambled skull snap beyond any level of saving and he screamed in her face, "TECHNICALLY SWEETHEART I never left you!"

She shrank back against a wall and shivered as he cooled off actually laughing a bit darkly.

"But we won't talk about THAT, no…" shaking his head he raised a hand to hit her but lowered it. He ran a hand through his hair before opening his mouth to talk her into oblivion, but stopped and backed off. His eyes drifted to her mouth, so he grabbed the corners of it and grimaced, "I smile for YOU, Kitten" turning his back he headed downstairs, pulling his knife from the kitchen counter and leaving. Chelsea watched him leave before aimlessly wandering into her mother's room to see her curled into a ball crying her eyes out.

A minute later she was scrambling for her cell phone which sat in a charger all the way at the black granite peninsula in the kitchen with silver barstools in front of it. Holding a startled Chelsea she sniffled and floated over to grab her phone, actually trembling and almost dropping the phone like it was a thousand degrees before finding the number she wanted and pressing 'send'. She sank back to the floor and bounced in place for the ringing to stop and to hear a voice.

"Please, please, please, please, please, please…!" she whined when finally the sound of someone picking up was heard.

"Miranda?" Bruce.

…

He was actually stepping out of the shower after his night as Batman. He winced at how much his wounds stung from the hot water, but tried to mask that by pretending to be tired. He checked the time on his cell phone and frowned. She shouldn't have been up this late.

"Bonehead!" the blind insistence in her rattling voice immediately alarmed him.

"Miranda! What's wrong, where are you?" immediately he was on-edge, throwing a shirt over his head and searching for any pair of pants he could locate.

"Bonehead, Bruce!" she was blubbering; coughing for a second before sniffling and crying harder, "Can you come over? Please, can you come over? I know it's late…"

"I'm on my way, stay where you are"

"I am home" she croaked when he nodded along and quickly ran a hand through his wet hair.

"I know that" he corrected himself quickly while not even bothering to grab the keys out his door he was moving so fast, "just…I'm coming"

"Okay" she sniffled before hanging up, scaring the hell out of him.

…

She immediately placed Chelsea down and flew upstairs to rip off the robe and throw it on the floor. Everyone including Trish was asleep she couldn't afford to wake anyone. Instead she threw on a busty black slip and flew right back downstairs for Chelsea. The two girls sat there on the floor by the door when there was a knock and Mindy perked.

"What, did he fly here?" she muttered to Chelsea before opening the door and launching herself into his chest before he could even walk in, wrapping both arms around his waist and holding him with her head snuggled against his chest.

"Miranda…" he caught sight of Chelsea behind her and held her with one arm while entering and closing the door behind them, "What happened, what's wrong?"

"Just…" shaking her head and slowly creeping her arms up so they reached the back of his neck she sniffled, and through bleary eyes she brought his head down over a foot so their foreheads pressed. His normally empty eyes softened and he frowned slightly, bumping his nose against hers pleadingly to tell him what was wrong. "Don't talk. Don't say anything."

Though everything inside him screamed to argue until she told him exactly what made her so frightened, he caved to the command and slowly allowed his lips to drift to hers. Titillating fingers trickled down her neck; he opened his eyes from the kiss, and to his horror came to face large fingers imprinted into her throat.

He whispered against her soft plump lips, "Miranda" his fingers ran over the fingerprints. "Who did this to you? You need a hospital!"

"Don't" she placed a finger to his lips and shook her head, "I told you not to talk."

The very way her entire face was swollen red and puffy from crying made him come undone.

"Where did he go?" he scowled and tried to search the area when she shook her head and lowered his by the back of his neck to kiss him harder, begging him with every inch of her body not to pull away by shifting herself so her chest pressed against his hard abdominals. The short little arms she had constricted his body to hers so tight he had nowhere to go. As wrong as it felt to do so with her in this state he returned every kiss with a deeper one of his own, eventually she parted his lips with her tongue so he could do the same.

"I do not want you to go after anyone" she whimpered between kisses, savoring the large hands digging into her waist to keep her close to him, "I did not call you for that…" she sniffled and shook her head, "I want you here…" she swallowed hard, "with me…stay with me, please? Stay with me, stay with me!" she begged while stamping her foot, actually tearing away from him and hugging herself weeping like a child.

His entire concerned expression wiped off his face to be replaced with something he couldn't even identify. The hazel eyes had glazed over at the pathetic display of the spitfire he thought he was romantically involved with. A hand of his reached and lifted her in one arm, extending the other for Chelsea to scamper over and he lifted her too, pressing his lips to Mindy's hair as she buried her face in his neck and bringing her upstairs into her bedroom. Both she and Chelsea were placed in the bed when he sat on the comforter and stroked her face, soaking in her every feature and the imprints on her neck when she tried to drag him on the bed next to her and Chelsea, so anxiously he did so. His heart thumped so hard against his chest he felt himself about to be sick as she laid him down and climbed on top simply to rain kisses on him.

Gulping after the initiated tongue kiss, he reached for Chelsea with his free arm and held her against his side. She seemed to be on a mission to burn her image into the mangled pulp of a heart that he had left like hellfire.

* * *

_"Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell;  
And in the lowest deep a lower deep  
Still threat'ning to devour me opens wide,  
To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heav'n"_

_-John Milton, __Paradise Lost_


	15. Chapter 15: Pretty Little Liars

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

Opening his eyes the next morning Bruce took a deep breath and tried to semi-stretch out when he realized there was a significant amount of weight on his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut and reopening them he groggily reached a hand over and smiled to have grabbed a clump of thick raven hair. Sifting her hair with his fingers for a moment he admired at how easily the wavy locks slipped right through them. His other arm was trapped under Chelsea's grasp, who had fallen asleep glued to his side. The kid was a complete angel from her long dark lashes to the cascades of Swede-blonde hair which fluttered over the satin sheets.

Mindy on the other hand was curled on top of him exactly like a kitten with her head resting right in the crook of his neck on the right side. The sun was already caught in her raven hair, giving it that blinding sheen while her icy skin remained as of old. Her children were all tanned though, which seemed peculiar. Their father must have had a deeper skin tone than hers. Reluctantly checking his watch it was nine in the morning, why the hell he would ever wake up this early eluded him. Mindy had told him she hated mornings too, but maybe he'd take her out on the yacht today since it was a Sunday and they hadn't made formal plans, which annoyed him greatly, they should have actually made plans instead of this 'I'll call you' bullshit.

Resting his chin atop Mindy's tiny head for a moment he inhaled through his nose and pressed a kiss to the top. Someone had to bite the bullet and wake up, so he decided to be the batten.

"Hey…" trying valiantly to ignore the fingerprints in her neck he kissed her forehead and gently rubbed her arm, and of course she didn't stir. Chelsea's bright blue eyes opened and already she had sat up; simply staring at him until his gaze caught hers in surprise, "Good morning, sweetheart" he said gently, reaching with his newly gained arm to touch her face and she grinned. "I'll concoct breakfast for you as soon as I wake your mother…" using his core strength to pull himself upright while cradling Mindy like a baby doll, he shook her with his nose pressed against hers until an arm plopped straight out over his shoulder and she groaned loudly before kissing him on the lips with her eyes still closed.

"What the hell is your problem?" she moaned before trying to fall back asleep.

…

As Mindy yawned and stretched her back out while rubbing her tired eyes, Chelsea excitedly sat next to her on a barstool as did Amber and Tryg. Thorn (with that awful jungle cat) and Scarlett were still asleep.

Leaning over the counter opposite Mindy and holding her hands in his, Bruce's eyes were simply caught on the kids and all that came with them.

"Being that you can barely keep your eyes open" he was WAY too peppy for her right now; Mindy wanted to smack him upside the head, "what would you like me to make you guys?" he smiled thinly at Amber, Chelsea, and Tryg as well, open to their insight since Mindy clearly was in no mood to talk.

A cup of French Vanilla coffee jacked with cream, medication, and sugar sat in front of her but she was hopeless. Her head was in her hands and she simply wanted no part of anything. Bruce was actually checking to make sure the steaming mug didn't end up flipped onto his shirt she was such a cranky little thing.

"You cannot cook" Mindy growled from behind her hands, actually catching him off-guard and he had to suppress a laugh in astonishment.

"I can too" he said cheekily, "say it, and-"

"You will make Margaret cook it and say it was you"

"Then…" smiling wickedly he pulled her hands from her face before giving her a huge kiss on the lips, "watch and conclude all speculation"

"Too early for big words!" she groaned again, holding her ears and dipping her head all the way back to drown him out.

"I like pancakes in the morning, Bruce" Amber grinned with a nod, "Can you make them?"

"Of course I can" he said while trailing his eyes to Mindy, "that is, if your mother can survive the process without landing herself in Gotham General…"

"Kiss my fucking ASS in D-minor at nine in the morning…!" she moaned before leaning forwards to rest her head between her elbows, not even catching the entire shift in his personality.

The Bruce that claimed he was useless in a kitchen setting was wordlessly preparing the requested pancakes for her and her children while they started asking him crazy questions about himself and his life.

"What's your favorite color?" Amber asked innocently as Bruce furrowed his brow while looking for the spatula so he could flip and serve their food, "It's right there" she pointed to the drawer that was two away from him and he raised an eyebrow before nodding appreciatively.

"Thank you, Pumpkin" he pulled the drawer and snagged the metal spatula which sported a trendy pink handle and he had to shake his head. Each and every appliance in that kitchen was pink. He was swamped; he didn't know what to do with the onslaught of color. "Black."

"Mommy says black is not a color!" Tryg shouted at him, "Black is a SHADE!"

Bruce's eyebrow rose in amusement and he nodded along to that before turning to face the stove.

"Well, that's my personal favorite" he said with his back turned, which only spawned more questions.

"Do you like puppies?" Amber asked while hugging her gray stuffed cat close, which made his nose wrinkle and he flipped a few pancakes before turning around to shake his head.

"Not really…"

"I like them" Amber nodded but then pointed to the stuffed animal in her arms, "but I like cats better. This is Kanga Cat! Say hi, Kanga Cat" she said to the stuffed animal before she made its paw shake at Bruce, "Kanga Cat says hello." It was precious, he had to take his attention off the stove and approach the kid to shake the stuffed animal's hand with his thumb and index finger.

"Pleased to make your acquaintance, Kanga Cat" he flashed his most dashing grin at the inanimate object to make the three kids including Chelsea roar with laughter as intended. His face fell purposely as they laughed at him and he pouted his lips, "What?" he especially engaged Chelsea, "What's so funny?"

"YOU!" Amber and Tryg shouted while laughing, Chelsea just clapped her hands and giggled at him.

"You think I'm funny?" he asked incredulously before turning to stack the finished products onto a plate while scraping more batter in for them.

"You ARE funny" Amber said with a nod, "We LIKE you!" That made him smile, turning to give them a nod.

"I like you kids too" he answered warmly before turning back to the stove, "Amber Rose, how many would you like?"

"Three!" Amber held up three fingers and shouted, which of course made Tryg almost jump over the counter to beat her.

"I like four!" Tryg shouted as Chelsea just sat there smiling at Bruce.

"You like four?" Bruce repeated with a grin, placing four on a plate for Tryg and three for Amber before bringing them over.

"I like FOUR!" Tryg said again with a nod, watching the nice-looking pancakes be placed on the counter across from them as Bruce scrambled around for forks and a knife to cut for them.

"I like big eaters" he gave Tryg a nod before making eye contact with the other two, "Would you like maple syrup, or something else?" he had no idea what to do he really didn't eat this way. He ate pretty light for the most part; only some fruit, egg whites, and toast in the mornings. His culinary skills actually were much better than what he had demonstrated for Mindy at first. That was a really sad attempt on his part to sucker her in, and at least it worked.

"We like butter and syrup please" Amber yawned with a nod while pointing to the silver refrigerator, "Thank you, Bruce."

"Thank you" Tryg repeated with a smile as Bruce pulled out the bottle of syrup and a stick of butter for them.

"It's my pleasure" Bruce grinned while slicing the butter and scraping it along the top of each stack while dousing it with syrup and cutting for them, sliding them over with a grin, "there you go."

"Thank you!" they both said while starting to eat, which brought his attention to Chelsea next.

"And what about you, Princess?" he reached over the counter and pouted his lips slightly, pinching her stomach so she doubled over and giggled, "Are you a big eater too?"

"If she likes it" Mindy replied gruffly, catching Bruce's attention so he went over and wrapped his arms around her from behind the barstool, resting his face in her neck for a moment before kissing the pale skin and looking to Chelsea. "Give her two to start."

His eyebrows rose and he shook his head at her with a snort, "You know…" he exhaled while preparing a plate for Chelsea, "you're very bossy."

"That's how we like her" Amber said while eating, "If you live with us, you'll like her too." That made his smile even more genuine as he finished Chelsea's plate and slid it to her.

"I already like her" he said smugly while smoothly stepping behind the irritated young woman to take her hands in his and kiss them, "What would you like me to prepare for you, your Royal Highness?"

"Meh" she grumbled before receiving a kiss to the side of her face and a tight hug, "Three."

"Anything special?" he kissed her again before moving off to make her a plate.

"Same as them" she yawned again before slumping forwards, pouting her lips and slowly becoming more aware of the world around her. "Thank you…"

"You're very welcome" he turned and placed the pre-cut plate in front of her along with a fork and a napkin, "Anything else you would like?"

"Mhm" she nodded while leaning and reaching for one of his hands, which he took and brushed his lips against, "You said you couldn't cook." Ah, so now she noticed. Clever girl, it was about time she picked up on that.

"For YOU?" he came back dryly, "There is no task that I won't-"

"Oh, shut up and eat something" she pointed to the refrigerator, "I am sure there is a potato or some shit that you eat"

"How thoughtful of you…" he mocked before moving behind her to play with her hair, "assuming that I eat like a bird when I look the way I do…"

"And we are back to annoying Bruce. Bye-bye, do not bother me" she tried to shoo him away when he bent over to capture her lips in a kiss. The syrup had worked to make her soft plumped lips exceedingly sweet, there was no way he could stop at just one he was indulging.

"Awww Bruce loves Mommy" Amber sighed while digging into her plate as her mother and her boyfriend immediately ceased action and looked at each other awkwardly when another party entered the kitchen.

"Well, hello there!" Trish gasped while feeling like a complete bum in her York University t-shirt and booty shorts. Her lengthy chocolate hair was tied in a ponytail while her glasses were on, and she felt completely hideous even though she looked adorable. "Way to tell me boyfriend was staying over, Meemsicle!" she shouted, completely abashed to have the prince of Gotham standing in the kitchen making out with her sister over a plate of pancakes. "Gave me lots of preparation!"

Mindy sighed.

"Good morning" Bruce said meekly while giving her a nod, "I made breakfast if you're hungry"

"And he cooks…?" Trish sighed while shaking her head at Mindy, "Ain't he a man after your own heart?" Her attention switched to Bruce before kindly declining, "Oh thank you, but unlike the Meemy-bird over there I watch my figure"

"It is a friggin' pancake, Patricia Anne!"

Trish yawned while raising a hand to cover it, discreetly observing the way Bruce's hands curled over her sister's shoulders and smiled warmly, "When did you get here, Bruce?"

Mindy craned her neck and gave him a glare to keep his mouth shut about why exactly he was called, so he did what he was best at.

"I just can't seem to get enough of your sister" he replied while kissing Mindy's cheek, "All day, every day"

"You say that NOW" Trish's shapely eyebrows rose in doubt as she pulled a nonfat yogurt out of the fridge, "I'll give it a month."

"No…" his voice dropped significantly and Mindy placed a hand over his affectionately.

"We'll see…" Trish sighed while pulling out a spoon and hopping up onto the counter to swing her legs into a pretzel to eat, "So you two lovelies got plans for today?"

Mindy shrugged apathetically when Bruce decided now would be a good time to go in for the kill since there were too many people around for her to refuse.

"Actually darling" he caught Mindy's attention with 'darling', and she seemed to like it, "It's nice weather…I was considering venturing out on the yacht…if you'd like to join me?"

"Shut up" she waved him off, "I eat all this and then you put me in a bikini"

"You're beautiful to me!" he teased while clamping a hand in her hair. Trish rolled her eyes trying to keep from becoming sick.

They got along too well there had to be something extremely ugly one was hiding from the other. Sure, the two young physically attractive rich people stipulation was in there, but something to Trish was extremely off with the both of them. People didn't fall in love like that unless they were trying to escape something. Mindy's obsessive grieving over her dead husband was the obvious, but what was Bruce's problem? As far as she knew the one woman he loved was dead and now he was all up in her sister like a virus, and Mindy was simply delighted by it. She'd have to keep a close eye on them; because something was so frighteningly wrong it made her uneasy.

…

"So…" Harley rocked back and forth on her toes in the back of a mob-run Wayne Steel storage house by the harbor as the Joker sat at a table divvying up the half-cut the mob had given him through the armed robberies completed by both Harley and Minx in Manhattan. "Where were YOU last night?"

The Joker licked his lips and stared at the money he'd been assorting into what he was going to send his lugs out to buy with it (gunpowder, dynamite, etc) before glancing up at her and replying stiffly, "None of your god damn business."

That didn't mollify Harley one bit, for she leaned over him and tried to see what he was organizing and where.

"You know Miss Kitty wasn't supposed to land on that bus…" she tattled loudly, making him cringe and drum his fingers along the tabletop not to turn and whack her, "you TOLD her to put it in the building and SHE didn't listen!"

"Can you fly?" he knew the look she was going to give him for that question was ridiculous but he asked anyway, "Can you?"

She hesitated again.

"No, it's alright! You're allowed to have a voice it's a free country…" he knew she wasn't going to answer out of fear, so he rolled his eyes and continued, "So I'm assuming you gained the ability to fly?"

"N-no" she shook her head and dropped her eyes as he nodded along knowingly.

"I thought so."

Wrinkling her nose, she scowled and shook her head at him, "She was supposed to crash that plane into a BUILDING so everyone could see Batso's signal! YOU always let the little bitch screw up"

"There was never anything concrete in what I said" he grumbled before craning his neck to intimidate her into backing off, "and don't put words in my mouth, please and thank you. I always couldn't stand when people did that to me."

"But you-"

"Harley, Harley, Harley Quinn…" he sang a bit before standing and forcing her to retreat a step, "I was merely making a SUGGESTION because you see, my specific words were to 'wreck shit' and that was done quite nicely. That's all I wanted" he shrugged, "how difficult is that for you to understand?"

"I understand just FINE, Mistah J" she nodded while placing a hand on her slender costumed hip and shifting her weight, "Silly little thing's got the entire city out for Bat-breath"

"And that's just FINE by me" the Joker nodded with wide eyes before leaning back in the chair out of boredom and putting his feet up on the table.

…

Someway, somehow Bruce had conned Alfred into babysitting since the yacht had a swimming pool that the kids were all excited about. Trish laid-out in the sun in an orange bikini along with Mindy's oversized white-framed Dior sunglasses on her face. She had a Nicolas Sparks novel in hand and was conversing lightly with Alfred about current events and whatnot. Though the previous times Bruce had seen Trish he hadn't thought too much of her since she dressed very conservative, the sight of her perfectly toned and tanned body in the sun was driving him insane. He had no idea that Trish was THAT perfect. Whoever her husband was, he was one lucky son of a bitch.

Mindy lied on his chest as they sat together in the same deck chair much closer to the bow than the rest of them who were near the stern. The couple was practically out of sight, which was what Bruce wanted. He liked her kids; he liked them a lot he was considering playing in the pool with them later, but as of now (and as long as he could keep it) he wanted Mindy's undivided attention.

He himself wore an open white button-down to 'tastefully' show off his washboard to Mindy with navy swim trunks which had a thin white stripe up the sides. In his margarita glass wasn't the tequila-spiked mix Mindy had in her hand, but something completely virgin that he had been lying to her by saying it was alcohol. He felt like a dick allowing her to drink without drinking himself, it simply wasn't appropriate. From what he knew of her now, she loved her tequila there was no way she'd give up alcohol entirely.

The twins were entirely different people. Trish flaunted her gorgeous figure shamelessly in the fiery orange string bikini while Mindy wore a baby pink bikini, but was basically completely concealed in a gray cover-up. Though her chest was fake and she was fine in that department, Mindy's figure was not as show-worthy as her twin's and she was obviously self-conscious about it. He'd seen Mindy naked she was adorable; he didn't understand the need to be so meek out of nowhere. Mindy Stratus was the most desirable woman in the world, yet she was curled in a ball on his warm torso with her head nestled into his collarbone. One little hand was across his body grabbing hold of the white completely unbuttoned shirt while the other was wrapped around him. Her skin was so icy cold he cringed at her touch sometimes, but slowly he was becoming used to it. She was anemic, he'd learned.

Mindy's large blue eyes were simply focused on the water since they were so close to the railing, and the thirty-five pound Serval was seated right at their bare feet, which made Bruce highly uneasy to say the least. Thorn brought that thing with her everywhere it was her best friend. Personally he was worried with wild animals and little kids, but Mindy had explained the entire story with Oxa and that she was six times better with her children than any dog would be…he wasn't so sure but had to take her word for it. At the moment he was pretty biased against cats thanks to Minx tearing him to shreds.

"Hey…" frowning he used a single hand to rub the back of it against her cheek, "how are you feeling?" He tilted her chin back so their eyes met and he flashed her one of his most endearing grins, "I figured you'd need some air after last night."

"Really? None of this was to show off that you have your own cruise thing?" she giggled with a quick slip of her right index finger down the bridge of his nose. Raising his eyebrows he leaned to press a kiss on her forehead and spoke against her skin.

"Do you like it?"

She snorted and rolled her eyes, taking a deep breath and sitting up so the wind took her hip-length mass of hair and swept it behind her. Her collagen-fused lips curled in anticipation as he sat himself up more to kiss her, setting his drink down on a table to weave a long hand in her hair and curve the tips of his fingers on the opposite hand over her bare shoulder since the cover-up was a halter. Savoring the taste of his lips on hers and the fuzzy vibe she received every moment his mouth had closed over hers, she pulled away to press her forehead against his and hug his neck loosely, "Can I tell you something?"

His eyes softened and that thin smile she was growing fond of encouraged the proposed query.

"I like being taken care of" she nodded before rubbing her nose against his gently, "I have paranoid schizophrenia I cannot live on my own…" her eyes drifted to the side for a moment before finding his once more, "I never had anyone there for me besides my Trisha Anne and especially my Jack…" she gulped and nodded, "she was nice and Jack is dead, but I told you about my daddy…"

"I was expecting you to take the direction of a misandryc feminist to be completely honest" he chuckled gently and pouted his lips playfully at her, "I'm actually surprised you said that."

"I hate everybody" she shrugged with a slight giggle, "Do I look like the type of girl who's rolling in the friend department?"

Turning his head towards the direction of the water he laughed a bit and reached to rub the back of his neck, "I've got news for you…"

"Bullshit"

"Miranda…" his eyebrows rose as he readied to plow into a lecture, "if I were swarming with close associates, do you honestly think they would keep letting me devote every spare moment I have to you?"

"Why not?" she shrugged, "I am cute."

"Miranda Marie…" he snorted with a shake of the head, "will you let me prove a point?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"You lied to me about not knowing how to cook, what else did you lie to me about?"

"Take it as a compliment" he replied vaguely, attempting to take her mind off the playboy front by leaning upwards to kiss her again, "Whatever I did was to get you to spend time with me"

"I would have anyway" she whispered between kisses.

…

They moved to the very tip of the bow, Mindy's hands on the railing as the wind hit their faces and whipped her hair all over the place. Bruce had an arm around her waist and the other hand smoothing her hair from behind to keep it somewhat tamed. Smiling smugly he bent his head so he was speaking into her ear and automatically she giggled at the tingle his breath brought to the shell of her ear.

"You won't turn into an advocate for women's independence behind my back?" Wordlessly she shook her head. "Very well then…" he took a deep breath and buried his face in her neck for a few seconds, finally getting it in him to speak, "What happened last night before you called me to chase away the boogeyman?"

"He left before I called you" she snipped before kissing his windswept dark hair. She couldn't cap what exactly it smelled like, but she really dug it. The bemused expression on his facial features turned sour to the point that the entire tone of his voice changed.

"Who is 'he' and what did he want from you?"

"The man who killed my husband…" her airy voice trailed off, she spoke in a very high pitch with a quirky Canadian twang.

"What?" that made zero sense to him, running his gentle fingers along the imprints in her neck and kissing the red patches of skin.

"I told you my Jack is dead…?"

"Go on" he nodded stiffly.

"Well…" she took a deep breath, blew air past her lips, and shrugged, "he killed my Jack and came over to yell" she shrugged, "he holds necks very hard"

"Enough to brand you?" he asked in heavy doubt, and she shrugged.

"He's very strong."

Bruce contemplated that for a moment, decided he still didn't buy her story, and pulled his cell phone out much to her confusion. Her torso twisted and she frowned.

"Bonehead, what are you doing?"

He held up a finger as his face became cross and walked away momentarily to speak to the manager of the hotel Mindy's penthouse was above.

"Hi, this is Bruce Wayne speaking…" immediately the manager's voice sugar-coated and began groveling at Bruce when he got right into it, "I'm with a young woman right now living in the penthouse who was physically assaulted last night by an intruder in your very building…" irritably he paused again and rolled his eyes at the incompetence, "very well, I don't care WHAT you were doing then. What I want you to do NOW is not only to check identification at the door, but I want the elevator doors next to the penthouse completely guarded at all times or there will be dire consequences, do you understand me?" another annoying pause, "Good. I'm glad we understand each other" with that he hung up and placed the phone in his pocket before approaching Mindy and wrapping both arms around her waist tightly. She, on the other hand, was slightly miffed.

"Did ya really have to do that?"

"You said you'd allow me to take care of you…?"

Pouting her lips and furrowing her brow she silently nodded along, placing a hand on his face and craning her neck to meet the lips of the man standing behind her. Digging a hand in his hair she broke the kiss and smiled weakly before he went in to kiss her again. From a distance Alfred had made himself a ghost only for the purposes of checking up on them…all was seemingly beyond any level of well. It was appalling just how blatantly obvious Bruce was making his affections; Alfred was now switching teams and was concerned with just how much the man he saw as a son's heart was invested in her. His main fear was that Bruce was putting all his eggs in one basket, and maybe he was…but there was no turning back. She had scorched him like hellfire.

"Thank you."

"I'm worried about you…" he frowned against her mouth, "You can stay with me next door, I'll take the kids too…" he smirked, "and your hot sister."

"She is married" she replied shortly before kissing him harder, "sorry to rain on your party."

…

Deciding to try and get on Mindy's good side even more, Bruce had actually caved to the kids' demands and gotten in the pool with them. Mindy though, much to his displeasure hadn't come near the water. Lifting and throwing Amber into the deep end, he beckoned to Miranda and smoothed his sopping wet hair.

"Come on, don't be boring!" he frowned, and Trish actually sat up to laugh at him.

"Good luck gettin' her anywhere NEAR that water, honey" the brown-eyed twin caught his attention, "Meemsicle can't swim to save her life."

Glancing at Mindy's chest he knew better than that and faced Trish with a raised eyebrow, "Well, she's certainly buoyant."

"I heard that!" Mindy shouted from next to Alfred belligerently, only egging Bruce on from his spot inside the pool.

"Then come DO something about it!" he licked his bottom lip and snickered at her reaction. About to take a step forwards Bruce prepared for it with great zeal, but then she stopped and shook her head. "You give me no choice…" he sighed while getting out of the pool with one push.

"No!" Mindy yelped and tried with everything in her not to make her claws come out, "Stay away! You are wet! No! No!"

"I don't care…!" grabbing her around the waist he pulled the gray dress over her head and fell backwards into the pool much to the kids' enjoyment. Mindy gagged and screamed in water that was five feet deep before Bruce reeled her over with a single arm.

"FUCK you!" she slapped his face and crawled right up his body to stay out of the water.

"Christ…!" he laughed while looking at Trish in astonishment, "You weren't kidding!"

"She's a cat" Trish rolled her eyes while going back to her book, which only made Alfred have a strange look on his face yet again. Bruce caught it and furrowed his brow, though it was short-lived because having Mindy's sopping wet body wrapped against his was a turn-on beyond any other. His hands ran down her chest once he pinned her little body to the edge of the pool and he pressed into her everywhere possible, only to be slapped across the face as she used his body to launch herself out of the water and scrambled for a towel.


	16. Chapter 16: Pandemonium

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

Standing at a podium amidst a room of angry elected officials, cops, public figures, and news reporters, Commissioner Gordon was essentially stuck with filling in Harvey Dent's shoes since no one had stepped up to replace Gotham's White Knight yet. Pictures were flashing, microphones were held up, and of course naturally answers were demanded.

Leaning over the podium Gordon took a deep breath and gazed out across the sea of faces he knew were all infuriated with him, including Viper and Fisico, "I understand that these…happenings…these events have evidential proof that it has indeed been Batman's weapons used in each attack, siege, and murder recently"

"And you haven't done jack about it!" a reporter shouted which highly peeved Gordon, but Viper had a sick smile across his face in the back which made Trish elbow him.

"Be nice" she scolded before refocusing her attention to Gordon in front of them all.

"And I also understand…" Gordon paused to make sure he had all eyes on him once more, "that all fingers have been pointing in the direction of the man who has been protecting this city for YEARS now because some nutjob has decided to copycat his weapons"

"Question, Commissioner…!" of course Viper's hand rose from the back, "by saying copycat you're insinuating that there's been one or multiple people posing as Batman yet…" he mock-pondered, "At the scene of every single instance Batman just HAPPENS to be there all alone"

"Logical explanation, Mr. Viper" Gordon replied with tight lips, "any criminal can just flee the scene in fact…" he spoke to the rest of the room once more, "I'm sure you're all well-aware that the Joker HAS escaped from Arkham with Dr. Harleen Quinzel as his hostage. We've been investigating his potential whereabouts but none can currently be identified, which; judging by his past antics should be nothing new."

"Then why isn't Batman here to answer us, huh?" another reporter shouted, "Where is he NOW when we need him?"

"Well I um…" Gordon stammered while raising his eyebrows, "highly doubt that Gotham's lead outlaw would just willingly walk into a room filled with the entire police force, though one day he will answer to us" he nodded, "but not today. Not right now…these…completely sporadic pockets of crime obviously are some form of foreboding, an omen of what's possibly to come. We need Batman now more than ever ESPECIALLY if the brains behind all this IS who I think it is"

"And what if it isn't?" a cop shouted from the back, "Has anyone even delved into the Minx?"

"We would have to catch her first" Gordon exhaled calmly while surveying all the angered expressions painting the room, "It appears, ladies and gentlemen, that we have found ourselves in the epicenter of a two-front war."

…

Minx's tail swayed from side to side as she stood between the Joker and Harley Quinn in downtown Gotham at dusk.

"Is it weird to be scared?" she asked only the Joker while scoffing the ground with her foot, "You know I do not like blood and-"

"Don't worry, Miss Kitty" Harley waved her off, "You can always take a shower"

"Holy Captain Obvious, Batman!" she wrinkled her nose from under the hood, which miffed the Joker and he jabbed her with his elbow.

"Shut up" he spat, which only irritated Minx as she placed both hands on her hips to emphasize her dropped jaw.

Minx frowned and motioned to the nighttime commotion of the intersection they were about to walk out in the middle of, "This fucking shit is just ASKING for me to get caught!"

"Then allow ME" he stepped forwards and simply walked out into the middle of the intersection, causing traffic to swerve into each other and he shot out any tires in range randomly, not even looking where he was shooting the machine gun.

Men in clown masks sporting very familiar-looking black long guns fired explosive gel against the windows and walls of the buildings before running away and continuing to do so. Each little ball of putty had timers on them and once they ran out…

"And here…we…" the Joker held up a hand and wagged it, "go!"

Fire and smoke from the bombs attached to the putty spewed across into the neighboring buildings which lined the lanes.

"Fuck!" Minx yelped and tried to fly up, but Harley grabbed her by the tail and refused to release her. "Hey!" she struggled before grabbing a man right out of the windowsill he was leaning from and ripping his jugular out with a single claw. She screamed at the blood which spouted from his neck and tried to shake the hand to get rid of it. Panting Joker watched as the smoke blocked out the nighttime sky and created a screen over the city. Choppers and news reporters tried to keep a distance as they broadcasted live all over the world.

…

"Police have been unable to act once more due to the violent nature of this assault on the city of Gotham" the blonde news anchor read off as Bruce and Alfred watched from the penthouse.

"I can't help that" Bruce vindicated himself quickly, but Alfred wasn't so pleased.

"Perhaps if you were on-scene you could"

"Do WHAT, Alfred?" he looked up from his spot on the white couch and asked a bit coldly, "I can't beat them"

"Yet out of their potential adversaries YOU stand the best chance"

"I've been fighting against Minx, Alfred" his eyes narrowed as the cameras showed the little hooded half-beast fly right up to the camera and slash her claws through it, the sound effects of her flying up into the chopper and devouring each and every person in it simply grueling. Alfred could only stare at the cameras stuck on the little young woman in the busty black romper with flowing raven hair.

"Try calling Miss Stratigias, Sir" he said quickly, making Bruce raise an eyebrow and check the time.

"It's two in the morning…"

"Please do as I say" he decided to cover his ground, "From my understanding she is often out and about the downtown area"

"I'll make sure she's not there" he nodded and swallowed hard, only Alfred's gaze hadn't moved from bitty Minx.

Exhaling slowly Bruce pushed himself off the couch and headed out of the room to call Mindy.

…

"HAH!" Minx spun around in the air as machine guns were fired her way and did a corkscrew somersault in mid-air, throwing her claws out and cackling as she effortlessly dodged them all. Buildings caught ablaze all around her as the Joker simply went trigger happy as did his men. Minx's bra vibrated, "What?" she frowned and reached into her cleavage when more bullets soared her way, "WAHHH!" yelling she sped up and flew around a couple of burning bends. "Shit!" Minx ripped the phone out, threw her back against one of the only non-burning portions of an apartment building, and panted, "Bonehead?"

…

"Miranda?" Bruce frowned from the balcony of his penthouse, listening to her pant like that worriedly, "Are you alright?"

…

"Ye…" she coughed from smoke and tried to regulate her suspicious breathing as a searchlight in the sky tried to find her, "yeah!" Her plump lips curled in and she nodded, "What's up?"

…

"I'm not sure if you've heard, but…" he frowned at the screen which headlined, 'City in Crisis' as Gotham burned with the Joker finally revealing himself in the background, "there's been an attack on the downtown area I don't want you going back there"

…

"I'm…" her lips curled in again so she could heave, she put the phone on mute before speaking again, "I am fine sweetie! I-" she put it back on mute, "WAHHHH!" off the building she sprang in another direction while dodging falling debris to keep speaking to him, "I just ended a torture-session of Yoga with Trisha Anne and I'm dying now"

…

"At two in the morning?" his eyebrows raised in doubt and he tried not to laugh, "Why are you two still up at two in the morning?"

…

"Who needs sleep?" she shrugged when a skyscraper suddenly began to crumble behind her, "FUCK!"

…

"What's that?" he asked with rounded eyes, nearly dropping the phone at the sudden shriek and the crumbling of the massive skyscraper which Minx was flying her heart out to escape when the Joker shot a grapple up from the street and literally snagged her out of the air by her ankle.

...

Minx hit the ground with a SMACK and just laid there catching her breath like a pancake as the building crumbled to the ground and sent a wave of ash her way, so she gagged and made sure the phone had been on mute for all that before speaking again.

"Nothing, Bonehead" she nodded with a gag, staring in fear from her position lying on her stomach next to a fire hydrant and screaming from being blinded by smoke.

…

"MIRANDA! Where are you?" his voice rose with great concern, debating going over to her penthouse without asking permission.

…

"In my house, silly" she sighed while backing up against a phone booth and squinting her glowing blue eyes to see in the smoke, "Trisha Anne was trying to get something and she made everything fall in the kitchen. I have to kill her now, I will see you sometime tomorrow okay? Thank you for being worried-"

…

"Miranda" he held up a hand and shook his head, "No"

…

"I already said you could come by in the morning and steal Chelsea, she will be very excited to go with you" Minx nodded while trying to lose him, but he wouldn't have any of it.

…

"Miranda, PLEASE…" he actually begged, making Minx stop trying to get rid of him and nod from her spot sitting against the phone booth, "Don't lie to me and tell me you're alright. I'll be wherever you are in a SECOND" he was oblivious to Alfred watching him plead with Mindy, which was a weird sight indeed. Bruce never pled to anyone. "You mean a great deal to me." He frowned, though she couldn't see it. The usually stoic expression on his face had become completely tender, as if he were speaking to a baby.

…

"Bonehead…" Minx blew air past her lips and sighed, removing her hood and shaking out the sweaty raven hair. Reluctantly she hung up and turned it off.

…

"She hung up on me" Bruce became cross and put the phone away, debating with himself not to call her back, "Did I do something wrong? Did I in any way UPSET her?"

"You did nothing wrong, Maser Bruce" Alfred reassured kindly; keeping the news report on for the hell of it, but Bruce was already grabbing a key and heading towards the door.

"I'm going to check up on her, I want to make sure she's alright"

"I wouldn't do that, Master Bruce" Alfred advised immediately, moving into the main entryway to try and convince Bruce otherwise, "Not many women take it so kindly when their boyfriends knock on their doors at nearly three a.m."

"I'm worried, Alfred" he justified with a hardened expression, yet again Alfred prevented him from going.

"She may not take it too kindly if you push yourself into her life so abruptly"

"She's my girlfriend, I can do what I want before I lose her and there's nothing to talk about" he flung the door open when Alfred shook his head.

"As paranoid as you are about history repeating itself and she winds up like Miss Dawes" he knew that would get Bruce to freeze on the spot, "I suggest you install some confidence in what the young lady tells you and leave it at that before you thrust yourself into a world of trouble."

"Like what?" Bruce lingered in the doorway now, his hazel eyes narrowing even more at the very thought of what the worst hypothetical situation could be, "What if she's NOT alright and someone has her? What if-"

"Would you prefer to send Batman knocking on her door to check up on her so she does not pin her frustrations on yourself?"

Bruce thought a moment, and then gave Alfred a nod while heading towards the wall which opened up and led into where he kept his Batman equipment.

"You don't really pick up on sarcasm, do you?"

…

The National Guard had been called to save the city, yet Mindy and Bruce lived in the uptown area and Wayne Tower ironically wasn't touched by any of this mess. The Guard had begun to protect that goldmine first. If Wayne Tower went, the entire city went.

"Hey!" Minx shouted and grabbed the Joker's arm to spin him around, "Enough!" she went to grab the gun from him when he held it over his head.

"Nuh uh uh…!" he scolded quickly and went to fire more when she literally slashed his right hand open with her claws and forced him to wince and drop the gun, "CUNT!"

"NOW you listen to me" she growled lowly and pointed away from the smoke, "I do not give a FUCK about Harleen or her whereabouts"

"And neither do I so we have one thing in common" he nodded when she waved it off and tried to drag him away.

"They will shoot you if they find you"

"No they won't" he shook his head assuredly, "They'll want me alive to put me on trial"

"And you will get off and locked in Arkham again" she responded coldly while grabbing his bleeding hand, "I will sew your glove back for you, now let's go already!"

"Is that a twinkle in your eye?" he was clearly joking as she tried to pull his arm.

She gave no formal response and just attempted to drag him off.

"Hey! Wait!"

The Joker stiffened visibly at the way that voice called his name, so he turned and threw his gun at Harley, "Stick that somewhere, will you?"

"Why can't ya do it yourself?" Harley frowned and noticed he was actually leaving his own scene, "Where ya off to, Puddin'?"

He took a breath before hiding the bloody hand and leaning close to her face, "Why don't you just go home to brush your teeth, comb your hair, and get the hell to bed?"

"And what about YOU?" she frowned and shifted her weight while noticing Minx just standing there uncomfortably, "Where's SHE going?"

"Home" the half-beast replied vaguely, "I gotta check on my kids." Minx gave the Joker a certain glare which made him dismiss Harley with a nod of sorts before practically tripping over himself.

"Stop running AWAY or I'll bite your damn legs off!"

…

"I am sorry…" Minx sighed while soaking a gauze pad covered in Neosporin over the large claw marks in the Joker's right hand. She sat on a black granite countertop in her modern spacious kitchen and had not only taken off his jacket (draping it over a barstool) but also his right glove, "I did not mean to hurt you."

The harder she pressed the pad into his skin the more he winced and hissed in her face, "OWWW! That HURTS! Ease up, will ya?"

"If I do not, you will not heal properly and have a big ugly scar," she said robotically with her eyes averted until she realized what had come out of her mouth and gasped, "OH god, I…!"

"Yeah" was all he said with raised eyebrows after licking his lips and cocking his head, "You TRULY have a way with words"

"Oh you can kiss my fucking ass in D-minor" she rolled her eyes before gently beginning to stroke the calloused skin on his right hand with the tips of her French manicured fingers. "So what was tonight?"

"I felt like it" he sighed while tilting his head back so his eyes could squint to try and see just how high her ceilings were, "You do flying practice in here?"

"You 'felt' like it?" she repeated aghast and he nodded.

"I've taken a backseat to this entire little operation for far too long, Kitten"

"You did not attack Batface though" she said wisely with pouted lips, "You destroyed this city…"

"So WHAT?" he shrugged, "They mourn, they rebuild, and they move on with their lives they're-"

"Schemers trying to control their little worlds" she recited purposely and again he raised both eyebrows and waited for her next statement, "And you show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are."

"I consider myself-"

"An agent of chaos"

He stared at her in bewilderment before furrowing his brow and making an awkward groan, licking his lips, "You're creepy"

"That is rich" she snorted with a shake of the head and a wrinkled nose, "Coming from Mr. I-have-no-name-past-or-identifiable-fingerprints"

"And the fact that you've kept that to yourself all this time-"

"Am I a schemer?" she frowned and cocked her head, wrapping his hand up and kissing it before handing his ripped glove back, "I will sew that in the morning."

"You?" he found that beyond amusing, "You can't even remember what you ate for breakfast and you're asking if I believe you've got PLANS?" She shrugged and he continued. "I find that question to be quite arbitrary, wouldn't you agree?" She didn't know what arbitrary meant. "…never mind. I don't want to stress that pretty little head of yours"

She yawned like a cat, stretching her spine against the steel refrigerator from the front and extending her claws for stretching purposes. Mindy opened the fridge door and yawned yet again while pulling out some form of vanilla pudding with chocolate chips in it.

"What the hell is that?" he asked from the same spot near the counter as she floated and moved towards a drawer. She grabbed a spoon before sitting cross-legged on the black granite counter and contentedly eating.

"Cookie dough pie made into pudding" she nodded a bit gleefully before offering him a spoonful, but he hesitated.

"That sounds revolting."

"Try" that wasn't in any way, shape, or form, a suggestion.

"You know…" he warned her quickly before stealing the spoon and sticking it in his mouth before handing the clean utensil back to her, "if I weren't fucking you I think I'd have no choice but to kill you."

"I love you" she gushed before realizing how stupid she sounded and curled her lips in, "Thank you…"

"Why?" he shook his head with a grimace when she shrugged.

"You saved me from bein' street pizza"

"Not intentionally" was his quick justification before he helped himself to her refrigerator and pulled out some leftover chicken dish Mindy also wasn't home to make so she couldn't vouch, "You just happened to be in front of a collapsing skyscraper and-"

A fork was handed to him before she added, "I didn' make that either, I am sorry."

"I always do tend to pick the BEST nights to drop by" he smiled cheekily because he knew that she knew he was being sarcastic, "When do you typically cook anything?"

"Miss it that much?" she giggled when he didn't reply and just started stabbing pieces of seasoned chicken in the container.

"Where's your sister?" his eyes didn't move from the food as he asked; stabbing carelessly and eating.

"In her room, stupid" she shook her head and pointed to the microwave clock all the way the hell on the opposite side of the kitchen, "Look."

What neither knew though was Amber and the twins were watching at the top of the stairs as their mother entertained the Joker of all people in the kitchen. They'd seen him around before they were no strangers to it. As Mindy ate and glanced about the darkness of her penthouse, the glittering of the diamond bracelet that Bruce had bought her on their second date made her smile. She moved her sleeve up so she could admire how it sparkled.

"SO?" he shrugged at the clock indifferently, "You and I are uh…" he smirked mischievously at her for a moment, "accustomed to late nights."

"Depends how often you feel like getting laid" she rolled her eyes and watched him eat a bit more, "You cannot go back out there tonight"

"Why NOT?" he sighed, already knowing what she was going to say but just shooting for the words anyway.

"They will arrest you"

"Prison cells don't bother me"

"They bother ME though" she corrected, "It does not matter what you want"

"I forgot that being a man makes everything my fault"

"It will not kill you to stay with me" she said coolly while hopping off the counter to place her spoon in the sink for a maid to do, "I cannot deal with something happening to you."

"Tell me why…" he purred, obviously putting her in a trap again as he grabbed her waist but she didn't care.

"I love you" she croaked yet again, placing a hand on the vest over his stomach and sighing, "You are just making me say the words."

"Duh"

"And what about YOU?" she rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest, "I fucking thought so."

"And how the HELL do you expect to keep me here overnight?" he glanced about the place and pretended to shiver, "I might get LOST, you know"

"Then stay with me" she took his hand and kissed it, trying to get back to the very sexual place they were both taking this conversation before, "You are starting to look sick, you need to sleep in a real bed."

"You forgot the second part of that implied statement" he already had his groin against hers while moving her to a wall nearest the stairs, "and that is to spend the remainder of your ideal night"

"Shut UP" she groaned while ripping his head down by his oily green hair and kissing him roughly, "Can you be quiet for two seconds?"

"I thought you LIKED my voice" he snickered loudly when she forced him all the way up into her room. She pushed him to the bed, stripped herself of the Minx outfit immediately, and jumped right on him to strip and take him in her mouth. She moaned loudly minutes later once he flipped her to her back and slammed himself into her. "You better hope you don't wake anyone" he warned her huskily while shaking his head which still donned the uneven makeup, "all this NOISE you feel like making"

"You should fuck yourself sometime" she nodded and hugged his lightly sweat-drizzled body close. She gave him a huge kiss to follow up and thank Christ the bed didn't make a sound as his movements got harder. She kissed him, grabbed his hair, and screamed his name as they gradually finished off and stared at the other for a moment while panting.

"Don't scream" he said harshly while lifting one of her little legs and continuing even harder this time, not even really taking a moment to breathe which made her giggle as she kissed him.

"You musta really missed me" she bit his bottom lip and slid her tongue in once again.

"PLEASE shut up!" he grunted while increasing the pressure of his thrusts and going faster, "My ONE recreational activity, let me enjoy it!"

"Fuck Harleen if it is that nothing-"

"I don't want HER…" he rolled his eyes distastefully though she didn't buy it.

"Mhm"

"What? You want me in a god damn chastity belt, Kitten? Can't take my word for-"

"Just fuck me" she begged with a shake of the head as she clamped to him beyond tightly, "don't stop."

"You know…" he stopped only for a moment and propped on his elbows, "You're kind of bossy."

Poking her tongue between her teeth she leaned upwards and kissed his nose.

* * *

_"Grace was in all her steps, heaven in her eye, in every gesture dignity and love." _  
_— John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	17. Chapter 17: Sell Your Soul

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

Since they both had kind of passed out after a long while, Mindy was rested on the Joker's chest just listening to the relaxed heartbeat since she figured he really wasn't sleeping on a Swedish mattress most nights…if he slept at all. Just lying there with him gave her simple reminders that he truly wasn't a monster at all; he had a human heartbeat. He had flesh, he had blood, he could breathe but not feel…and she actually believed him when he said he hadn't been with anyone else. Knowing his intelligence the way she did chances were he was far more loyal to her than she had been to him. It was her job as a woman though to nag, and she was quite good at it. He could pretend all he wanted but she thought he secretly liked her pestering because it spurred an argument.

Her eyes shifted to the picture on her nightstand of her and her husband in high school and she smiled weakly. Kissing the center of his chest she realized not only were the lights on, but she had made a big red lipstick mark right smack dab in the center of his chest. She didn't erase it though; she just rubbed her face against his skin before drearily whispering, "I love you."

Stumbling out of her bedroom moments later trying to pull a pair of blue Victoria's Secret pajama bottoms up over her hips so she could tie the stupid thing, Mindy went downstairs and tried to wipe the Minx makeup off with the sleeve of her gray waffle-knit shirt and navigate through the darkness towards the kitchen when a figure out on one of the balconies caught her attention.

"WAHHH!" she shrieked while slapping a hand to her mouth, "What the FUCK?" she removed the hand and slowly padded in bare feet towards the door to the balcony where the figure completely dressed in black stood stiff. Mallow Mars mewed by the door, so Mindy lifted the cat and opened the door to get a closer look at who she immediately realized was Batman. That changed things. "Can I…" she gulped, "help you?" God she hoped he wasn't there for her. He stared at her for a long minute, neither party even moving to breathe which heavily frightened her. "Mr. Batman?"

Batman wanted to smile at the irony of the whole situation. Her being in bare feet worried him since she was frail, so blindly he scowled.

"Put something on your feet, you'll catch a cold" he rasped hoarsely, making the young woman raise an eyebrow and try not to smile.

"I will once you tell me why you are here…" her voice dropped nervously, still debating taking a step back, "on my balcony…when Minx's been kicking your ass all over the city"

"You were attacked last night at around this very time by an intruder in this building" his cold gaze drifted towards her neck where the prints were still burned very well in there, "those marks on your neck haven't gone unnoticed your sister works with the police force" he was lying, but he couldn't tell her she called him last night and made him come see her.

"But it was Sunday she was with me all day" her eyes narrowed and she held Mallow Mars closer.

"Your sister is on-call twenty-four hours a day for her position she is required to report all suspicious activity-"

"Such as strangling a rockstar?" she rolled her eyes and shook her head at him, "You really ARE having a slow night, aren't you?"

"Downtown was just razed-"

"Ah! So now the truth comes out" she leaned against the railing and continued petting the white cat with a brown chest, "I knew you had ulterior motives"

"I want to ensure that you make no move to return to the downtown area" he didn't move from his original location.

"Trust me" her eyes widened and dropped to the floor, "I do not need protection. I am pretty good on my own." She was fucking Minx she needed no one. "My boyfriend sent you here, didn't he?" with a light laugh she shook her head and grinned, "He is SUCH a…" she didn't realize how the quick smirk had formed across his face because she was laughing so hard, "I gotta give him a kick in the ass when I see him in a few hours, he is so annoying." Curling her lips in and taking a deep breath, she giggled while looking Batman in the eye, "Stay out of relationships if you are not already in one"

"The attack types and locations seem desperately random"

"And they are" Mindy decided 'why the hell not', and chose to help him, "come with me…"

"Where?" he asked stiffly as she opened the door, slipped on Birkenstocks, and yawned before placing Mallow Mars on the floor.

"I know some place that might help you figure some things out…" she said while beckoning for him to enter the penthouse so they could leave out the door, but he didn't move a muscle which irritated her. "Do you want my help or not?" she shifted her weight, placing both hands on her hips and pouting her lips at him. The moon created sheen off her hair which resembled some form of precious metal and her icy skin simply glowed. "Ugh" she groaned at the lack of response and reached for the door once again when she was grabbed and swept into a carry, looking into the shadowed eyes of the Silent Guardian.

"We're going down my way"

"What?" she furrowed her brow when he stepped onto the railing while holding her, which made her gasp and cling to him for dear life, "HOLY fuck!" she shrieked while staring at the massive drop to the ground, "Are you INSANE? Are you-WAHHHHH!"

He literally jumped right off the railing to make Mindy scream, free-falling straight down until his cape expanded and they glided literally right to the Tumbler, over which Batman pulled his cape in and landed on top. Mindy's little head was completely buried in his armored chest out of fear of a crash landing, but once he opened the roof and placed her right next to him things calmed for her a bit.

…

Amazed at all the different controls and options available in the Tumbler, Mindy pouted her lips and nearly ignored how his driving style mirrored Bruce Wayne's with the speeding and car-weaving, no music whatsoever…

"Do you listen to music?" she frowned while glancing around for a radio, "Or do you just…" she shrugged as their eyes met, "drive?"

"I do what I want" he replied without looking at her before finally flipping a button that he never used and caving, "The dial's right there…put on whatever you want"

"WOW!" beaming she flipped through stations until the very beginning of 'Strong Enough' by Cher caught her attention and she squealed, startling the driver while beginning to sing along.

"You listen to this?" he asked in disbelief, shaking his head and trying not to roll his eyes he should have known better. She was ridiculous how could he expect anything less.

"You kidding?" she giggled while poking her tongue between her teeth, "I love Cher."

His eyes didn't move from the road, which annoyed her greatly and made him smile inside. As interested as he was in this undisclosed location that she was supposedly leading him towards, he wasn't entirely sure if that was his main motivation behind all this. He knew he couldn't touch her as Batman, if he did as much as kiss her or speak to her in his regular voice she would know. It was so fucking hard though; every time he looked her way or heard that high-pitched Canadian accent he went insane. Love-struck wouldn't even suffice…he was batshit crazy for her.

"Do you have a favorite artist?"

No answer. Typical. She took a deep breath and shook her head, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ear.

"You and my boyfriend…no taste."

Just as she said that he pressed a button and 'Sell Your Soul' by Hollywood Undead came on. Yes, he had been studying her very closely and started to like the things she liked, it really wasn't so bad.

"Holy amazing taste in music, Batman!" the grin which spread across her face like wildfire was what he wanted to see, but otherwise he didn't react.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked coldly, though hell he didn't want to. This was such a mistake he should have known better than to check on her as Batman, he'd find miscellaneous reasons to keep her in the vehicle. He'd keep her there all day if he could, but that wasn't reality and what was. Mindy Stratus was Bruce Wayne's girlfriend.

"Wayne Steel" she responded shortly as a crazy military navigational system popped right in front of them, "but keep quiet."

He pressed a button and the Tumbler went into stealth mode, momentarily freaking her out.

…

They pulled up to the shipyard on the outskirts of the city close to the river some minutes later in complete silence. Mindy curled her plump lips in as all the lights shut out and stared straight for a minute to contemplate what she was truly doing before speaking.

"There's a gang here…" she met his eyes as his head turned to face her and she nodded, "They are protecting mob property. The Galante's got people in Wayne's offices and it gives them unlimited storage access for all the Joker's bullshit." She paused to take a breath, "The Joker hates money but takes the cuts Galante's men give him to buy other bullshit. They pretend to work for Wayne but all they do is just stand around housing shit that the Joker's been using to blow up the city" she sniffled and twirled the very ends of her hip-length raven hair, "Wayne Enterprises is becoming the Joker's safehouse and he just uses it to keep shit in," if she said his company one more time he was going to lose his mind that all this could be going on behind his back, "He can't take anything civilized he doesn't understand why we all just fold for authority and all that other anarchist bullshit."

"Why do you know all this?" he rasped; in no mood to go after them now, but he'd get them tomorrow night. His greater concern was why his girlfriend knew so much. She knew she was stuck too, so now since she felt it was safe she went out with it.

"I helped you, I expect you to help me back and not tell anyone what I said just now"

"You have my word once I learn why."

She nodded and took a quick breath before nervously speaking, "I know the Joker very well…" she answered meekly, "I hate him…I hate Harleen too, but she is friggin' brainwashed fuckin' obsessed with him. I met the Joker when I was five and I hated him"

"Was he the one who left those marks on you?"

"Yeah" she responded quickly with a nod, "Just do not tell my boyfriend if you know him"

"WHY?" he scowled, but only then did he realize what she was thinking (and what he actually meant) so he had to change it, "Why did he place his hands on you?"

"Because…" her voice dipped and she sniffled, staring out at the shipyard grimly.

"You should be under surveillance"

"My fucking boyfriend sets up this crazy-ass security check outside my door 24/7 and now you are tellin' me I need surveillance even MORE!"

"I'm trying to protect you as a valuable source of information"

"How much did my boyfriend pay you to babysit me?"

"He didn't" he replied shortly, now in a frantic state over the newly acquired information concerning her. "It's not safe for you alone"

"And you think a fuckin' video camera or some bonehead guards are gonna stop them if they want me?"

"What about Minx?"

Shit. Time to make up a lie. She'd forgotten all about that.

"She's one bad bitch" she boosted her own ego, "I never met her."

They stared at each other for a few beats.

…

When she turned the handle to get back into her bedroom, Mindy slipped under the covers as quietly as she could and rested on the Joker's chest once again, giving the center another smooch mark which woke him up.

"God in hell…" he grumbled for a second before reaching and grabbing a handful of raven hair to remind him where he was, "I'm REALLY starting to think you've got a crush on me"

"Ohhh and I do…" she chuckled lowly before crawling up his body and covering as much of his mouth with hers as she could; refusing to allow him to sit up, "I have always had a big crush on you, Nancy"

"Could have fooled ME" he snorted with a heavy eye roll, trying to figure out why he was touching fabric instead of bare skin when she cringed and shrugged.

"You know I get very cold"

"Very nice" he ripped the gray long sleeved waffle knit over her head and she helped him with her pants, "but I don't particularly care"

"I know you do not" she wrinkled her nose before kissing him, "but I do not really care that you do not care either because I am Sid today"

"So we've got ground rules for this…" he eyeballed her straddled over him before lowering her onto himself slowly and letting her do all the work this time around, "'relationship'… established"

"I love you" she corrected with a shake of the head, "Call it what you want I do not care, I love you"

"Hmm" a hand of his ran up her chest before angrily tangling in her scalp, "Now WHERE have I heard that before?"

"And you believed me…" she rasped against his mouth and nodded, "you still do"

"Bullshit" he shook his head in denial before beginning to guide her hips the way he wanted them, "You and I have a uhhh…" he paused to let her kiss him deeply, "strict, business relationship."

"We do not" she kissed his temple and sighed at the way he was guiding her, though his head shook firmly.

"If you weren't fucking me I'd have killed you by now."

Now it was her turn to lean over his ear and huskily utter, "Bullshit."

…

"Do you have to go now?" Mindy frowned while lying on the Joker's chest not much later.

Light had already seeped through her thick ivory curtains and had decorated the room in subtle beams of warm reds. One of his thin (compared to Bruce at least) arms was draped over her broad back lifelessly as she worked on kissing the tips of his fingers which bore no prints because they'd been singed off on purpose.

"Yeah" was all he said flatly before pulling himself upright but Mindy didn't let him go. Sitting still for a moment and glancing down he released a dramatic exhale, "See, THIS is why I can't fuck you anymore. Whores do this all the time what's so difficult about-"

"FIRST of all I am not a whore I am SID" she corrected him and leaned away so she could crawl in his lap and hug his neck tightly, "Second…" she curled her lips dangerously and cocked her head, "let us not get into clinginess and shit because I will fucking bury you alive for that in front of this entire city"

"Oh yeah?" he challenged with an eager nod while licking his lips.

"Yeah" she scowled and nodded right back at him, "I could get you so fucked you would never show your face ever again" she nodded threateningly, "So in a way I have a greater ability to ruin you than Batsy does" she saw right through the stoic expression he fronted, "but I would never do that, you see…" she shook her head and shrugged, "Because although I have taken throne as Sid today, unlike YOU I have morals. And those 'morals' that you claim to hate so much are saving your ego" she took a moment to watch him pull his clothes on while trying to completely ignore her, "And I guess it will not hurt to share with you that it is serious with Bruce Wayne."

His face contorted into something very, very ugly.

* * *

"_Nor jealousy Was understood, the injur'd lover's hell."  
- John Milton, __Paradise Lost_


	18. Chapter 18: Daddy for a Day

**A/N: Thank you! :D!**

Trish poured herself a cup of coffee as maids prepared the kids for school early the next morning. Mindy was asleep naturally; she hadn't woken up despite the typical morning commotion and there was a knock on the door. A maid stopped checking Amber's Ed Hardy handbag that was used as a schoolbag and went to get the door, but Trish waved her off and smiled warmly.

"I got it" sighing and tossing her long chocolate hair behind her, Trish opened the door and smiled to see an extremely tired-looking Bruce in a fine tailored suit obviously about to head into work. "Oh hi, boyfriend!" she teased while motioning for him to come in, "What brings you here at this godly hour?"

"Patricia" he gave her a polite nod before entering and allowing her to close the door behind him, "is your sister up yet?"

"No!" she snorted and pointed to the upstairs, "Meemsicle's out like a light. Good luck wakin' her."

"Do you mind if I…?" he motioned to the upstairs as all the kids smiled and waved at him.

"Hi, Bonehead!" they shouted at random, and he gave them all a thin smile and a nod.

"Hah!" Trish waved him off and shook her head, "This isn't my house, what do I care? Meemsy's upstairs, I'm assuming you know the master bedroom"

"From experience" he added fuel to her speculation fire on purpose because she annoyed him before heading up the stairs towards Mindy's room.

…

Carefully turning the knob into Mindy's room, he found her lying on her side completely conked out (as she should be, he had her out ridiculously late) with Peking and Fievel in the bed with her. Closing the door ever-so-gently and cringing at the click of the handle signaling it was closed, Bruce leaned over the bed and pressed a slow kiss on her lips to wake her up followed by another kiss to her forehead. His thumbs ran down her cheeks gingerly as her eyes forced themselves open.

"Bonehead?" she croaked in her raspy morning voice when his mouth covered hers again so her arms coiled around his body to smell his cologne. "Mmmm what'd I do?" she giggled while continuing to glide her tongue against his, "I feel so special."

"Good morning, beautiful" he teased with another kiss, his knuckles balancing him on the mattress so he didn't collide with her. She wanted the collision though, so after quickly wriggling out of the covers (and giggling loudly as she did so subconsciously) she pulled him down by his upper back and smoothed his hair down so it wouldn't fall out of place. She didn't have gel of any kind to keep it back, but she did have hairspray-oh, never mind. She did have a shit-ton of hair gel because Tryg's long pin-straight Swede-blonde hair was always requested to be stuck into a faux-hawk.

Readjusting his position on her memory foam mattress so he laid on top of her between her legs, he kept one hand on her jaw and the other on her thigh so they could keep kissing. Savoring a wet kiss and brushing a few stray pieces of hair out of her face, he smiled at her endearingly.

"I came for Chelsea, remember?" he whispered in her ear while resting the bridge of his nose against hers, suddenly realizing that she had about four different diamond studs in her earlobe. She was apparently pierced in seven places on one side and twice on the other…some could call that trashy, she called it 'I'm Mindy fricken' Stratus'. His hips pressed into hers as she nodded, hugging his neck and kissing his throat because the skin was so soft.

"Mhm" she said against his skin, moving her hips against his and giggling as his hand slid up her gray waffle-knit shirt while the other went between her legs, "Can I go six hours without seeing you?"

"I don't want to" he shook his head before kissing her to muffle the soft moans that escaped her throat once his fingers slid inside her.

"I am" she panted while fiddling with his pants to get her hand down and around him, "still pissed you woke me up."

With one quick kiss she flipped him onto his back and opened his shirt so her lips could wander along his chest and abs. One hand clamped in her hair because he already knew what was happening next.

His nose nestled into her neck as his hard flesh pressed against her center gently, asking the question which although she wanted to, she fucking wanted it like it was nobody's business and he knew it…she shook her head and dropped her eyes with a hard swallow.

Giving her a soft look, he nodded and gave her a long kiss before standing to fix his clothes and hair.

"Is there a particular reason?" he tried to rephrase it, "Am I making you move too quickly?"

"No…" she shook her head and sniffled while sitting up, pulling her thong and pants back up before hugging his waist from behind as he stood in front of a mirror, resting her head on his back and snuggling closer, "It's me." His fear was the whole, 'it's not you, it's me' rejection shit. "I care about you" she nodded and snuggled his back tighter, "I just want our first time to be special." Oh thank Christ. Craning his neck and twisting his torso, he dropped an arm around her and they kissed.

"It will be."

…

"Alright…" nervously as Bruce held the perfect-looking Chelsea in one arm in the kitchen, Mindy squeezed his hand tightly in hers and kept glancing at Chelsea while following him to the door, "she is picky…but not that picky." He couldn't help the smile as he nodded along to everything she was spewing. "Umm…" she mashed her teeth nervously and began to list, "Autistics love carbs. Pizza, French fries, chips, anything really salty or carb-filled she loves. She doesn't like the taste of meat though I try to make her eat it anyway its part of our current A.B.A. program and she'll be dead before she touches a vegetable-"

Bruce had bent his body and kissed her several times before rubbing his nose against hers and smiling fondly.

"Trust me…" he glanced at the toddler in the lavender dress with gold gladiator sandals and loosely curled blonde hair which fell all down her back, "she'll be fine." Anxiously she nodded while glancing at her daughter. Again he smiled and touched her face reassuringly, "Miranda…" her large blue eyes met his, "trust me…I'm the safest person to be with in this city."

"She likes Fievel" Mindy motioned to her black cat which was held on a gold shimmery leash in Chelsea's arm, "Do they allow animals?"

"I own the company. Of course we do" he gave her a wink and touched Chelsea's face quickly, "Are you ready, sweetheart?"

Chelsea didn't respond, so quickly Mindy assisted with a hand to her face.

"Hey!"

Chelsea lit up.

"Chelsea Ray!"

Chelsea became alert, but didn't look at her.

"Look at me…!"

Chelsea tried to listen, but it was extremely difficult.

"I said Chelsea, look at me!" Chelsea made eye contact and received a big kiss on the mouth from Mindy, "You be good for Bonehead, okay? No tantrums" that reminded her, so she looked to Bruce, "Sometimes she wants things without asking for them…which is against what we are teaching her since her communication skills are practically absent. She may throw a tantrum, but as horrible as it seems, just let her cry it out and do not let her get her way or she will walk all over you because she knows you are a sap." She stared knowingly at Chelsea, "Her IQ is incredible, do not fall into her trap."

"I'll try not to" he nodded before planting another kiss on Mindy's mouth, smiling halfway through and reaching his free arm to slide under her hair and stroke her jaw, "I'll call you periodically, I promise."

"Okay" she smiled dreamily before nodding, giving him a huge kiss before staring Chelsea in the eye and kissing her too, "You be good for him, okay? I mean it, Missy. I'll kick your butt."

"NO kick butt!" Chelsea laughed loudly, which stunned Bruce and made Mindy step in again.

"She has a vocabulary of about thirty-eight words…" she didn't think he really got a grasp on that, "the average American three-year-old has a thousand."

"Chelsea…!" he touched the baby's face, but she was despondent. He didn't have to look at Mindy to know what was going through her head, so blindly he gave her a long kiss and held her close before allowing her to open the door for him reluctantly, "We'll be back later, alright?"

"Be careful" she nodded while almost jumping at the two men standing guard outside her door.

"She'll be FINE, relax darling!" he stopped and called back to her one last time before entering the elevator with Chelsea, "Enjoy your day!"

As Mindy glanced down she could only shake her head at the credit card in her hand with his name on it.

…

"Mr. Wayne" security guards gave Bruce a nod as he entered Wayne Tower holding both the blonde baby and her black cat that was so old it barely moved anymore.

Strange looks were shot his way by several employees since Bruce had absolutely no children of his own…at least that anyone knew about? The world knew he was dating Mindy Stratus; they were obnoxious enough that the press was all over it when not reporting incidents involving Batman.

He came here of all places with Chelsea for a reason. First, he had a board meeting he had to get out of the way and not pay any speck of attention to while Lucius handled everything, but then he needed to borrow the CEO of Wayne Enterprises for a moment to discuss exactly what has been bothering him. He'd buy the poor kid lunch and take her to the zoo later to make up for the boring morning they were about to have, but maybe if he was lucky she'd sleep through the board meeting and all he'd have to do is watch the cat.

Despite the Good Samaritan deed he was trying to accomplish for the young woman he loved and her child who he adored after only a few days of knowing their family, he still had an image to keep up. He was Bruce Wayne the irresponsible, bratty, billion-dollar playboy. He was in a highly public and annoying relationship with America's Trashiest Sweetheart, Mindy Stratus, and he had to remind people that was who they both were. Mindy had no problem being a brat, but for him it was difficult to do all the time. He actually didn't really know how to enjoy himself and make it known to the public. Mindy herself had said it; he was boring. Just now he was beginning to pick up somewhat of a personality of his own outside of Batman and Bruce Wayne. Batman was much more his actual personality than Bruce Wayne; Bruce Wayne, as Rachel had correctly stated, was a front. Batman was who he truly was…though he feared greatly that Mindy would never accept that. Knowing that he really wouldn't ever spend an entire night with her, or the danger of his enemies knowing they were together. There was so much to consider and weigh-in that he wanted to repress the thoughts for as long as he could.

Though he had been walking straight through a bustling business complex towards an elevator, Chelsea had paid no attention at all. She simply sat on his arm holding her clear cup with a yellow lid of apple juice to her mouth and drank. Fievel was chilling in her other arm and she simply was content. As he waited for the elevator doors to close Bruce's gaze dropped from the buttons to the baby and his lips pouted as he stared at her lovingly.

"I almost wish we could switch places" he ignored the two other men in the elevator with him and spoke only to Chelsea, "I'd love not to know what's happening around me."

Chelsea's hand which once sat on Fievel's back went up and simply sat over his mouth, her attention still on the fancy indicator of which floors they were ascending to. Smiling thinly, he kissed the palm of her hand until the doors opened and out they went, the two middle-aged businessmen staring at him like he was on some form of drug which highly annoyed him.

…

"Since the human genome has already been discovered…" Lucius Fox explained Wayne Biotech's (the company responsible for most of Gotham's healthcare system, Wayne Medical was the sister company) latest endeavor to find the cure for cancer, "I highly suggest we begin the study of cloning to produce organs for future transplants."

"But how would we know that the human body would accept these fabricated organs and not reject them, thus killing the patient?" one representative from Wayne Biotech drilled Lucius just as the door in the back open and in sauntered Bruce holding a blonde, blue-eyed toddler and a black cat. Eyebrows were raised to say the least.

"We are not proposing to 'fabricate' organs, but to directly recreate human ones that WILL indeed function with the human body and replace the infected cells or tissues before their condition becomes fatal" Lucius corrected with a point of his pen at the skeptic as he continued to pace in front of the long table, eyes mostly on Bruce and Chelsea sitting in the back. Bruce was lying back in the chair with Chelsea perched over him in the chair, standing in his lap with Fievel and petting his face as if he were a cat too. Smiling warmly, he wrinkled his nose and steadied her so the little kid didn't fall over, pressing their foreheads and running his fingers through her curly blonde hair. Lucius developed a slight twinkle in his eye before giving the oblivious Bruce (he was receiving quite a number of dirty looks) a respectful nod, "Mr. Wayne…"

"Hm?" momentarily tearing his eyes from Chelsea he looked to Lucius and gave him a nod, "I made it, didn't I?"

Lucius could only shake his head knowingly when one of the representatives from Wayne Biotech spoke up coldly.

"Is that" he actually had the gall to label precious Chelsea as 'that', "from the orphanage?"

Bruce's face became stone as another one joined the man who gave Bruce that nasty comment.

"Just where DID you pick that one up?"

"She's MINE, actually" he gave both men a nod filled to the brim with hidden contempt and scorn, "And I would much prefer if you kept all speculation to yourselves before you insult my child again and I have you fired on-location without unemployment benefits." Realizing just how nasty that was (and truly not caring), his gaze shifted to Lucius and he waved towards him, "Carry on, Mr. Fox."

…

By the end of the Wayne Biotech meeting regarding organ cloning both Bruce and Chelsea were asleep in the comfortable leather swiveling chair. Chelsea's tiny head was nestled under his chin and Fievel was curled in Bruce's lap while both his arms were around Chelsea. The worst looks were shot his way as the yuppie businessmen made their way out of the board room except Lucius, who could only tap Bruce's shoulder and smile warmly at the owner of Wayne Enterprises and sleeping Chelsea.

"I wasn't aware it was 'take our daughters to work' day, Mr. Wayne…" he ribbed slyly as Bruce looked to him and then back down at Chelsea like she was the apple of his eye, "I also wasn't aware you had a child…?"

"My girlfriend's" he filled in the blank for his close friend and nodded as Chelsea's eyes fluttered open and she looked up at Lucius uncaringly.

"Ah" Lucius nodded before bending to smile at Chelsea, "And what is your name, princess?"

Chelsea didn't even look his way, which for someone who didn't know her disorder was slightly alarming.

"Not very talkative" he chuckled gently before looking up at Bruce, "is she?"

"Actually" Bruce took a deep breath, "that's why I brought her in to see you today." Lucius looked interested as Bruce pet Chelsea's hair until she looked at him, "Her name is Chelsea Ray, and she's Autistic. I wanted to see if there was anything either Wayne Medical or Biotech could do for her."

Lucius looked to both Chelsea and Bruce strangely before having to ask.

"Well…" his round eyes widened slightly, "That depends what it is exactly you would like done…?"

…

"Trisha Anne, I do not wanna spend his money!" Mindy frowned while following her sister around her office while getting dirty looks from Viper and flabbergasted ones from everyone else. Trish was dressed to the nines in her pencil skirt and fancy white top while Mindy…a red Juicy Couture tracksuit with her hair in a long loose braid down to her hip naturally.

"Yo, Fisico!" one of Trish's co-workers shouted while staring at Mindy, "You didn't tell me your twin was Mindy Stratus!"

"How could you NOT know?" Mindy exhaled in exasperation, "I bring my Trisha Anne EVERYWHERE with me!"

"Yeah, but unlike YOU" Viper joined Trish's side much to the brunette's shock (but not Mindy's), "Your sister actually works for a living and doesn't bang on a piano-"

"You are jealous…" Mindy sighed while holding Trish's hand as they walked right by Commissioner Gordon, "Hi!" she chirped sweetly, which only made the poor guy raise an eyebrow at the rockstar following one of his agents around. He placed his hands on his hips and looked to Viper with raised eyebrows.

"Does anybody mind explaining to me how Mindy Stratus managed to appear in my station?"

"Oh, she'll be out" Viper nodded with narrowed eyes as Mindy giggled in Trish's office while chattering about how much she hated Viper, "She's Fisico's obnoxious twin sister."

"But they look nothing alike…!" Gordon watched Mindy excitedly sit on a chair in Trish's office and Viper could only roll his eyes.

"Post-plastic surgery you're correct. Fisico looks nothing like the pop tart"

"She's even smaller in person" Gordon claimed with widened eyes before heading back into his office, which irritated Viper as he followed him in.

"What, that's it?" he asked angrily, "You're just gonna let her sit and keep Trish from her work?"

Gordon shook his head for a moment, "Well, she's not bothering anyone"

"I already told you she's-"

"You on the other hand" Gordon's eyes narrowed, "are still suspended and should not have any say in my office"

"For trying to take down the one responsible for destroying half this city?" he folded his muscular arms across his chest and shook his head, "I don't think that's fair at all."

"You were given an order" Gordon's voice deepened as he sat at his desk and stared at the placed note in Batman's handwriting which simply read, 'Wayne Steel'. "And as an officer of the law I expect you to abide by orders in my department."

"And what laws apply to the freak in the cape, huh?"

"That 'freak in the cape' has been a blessing to this city"

"I don't care WHAT you all may 'think' he does. The man wears a mask and jumps off rooftops!"

"He does have a taste for theatrics…" he nodded along admittedly, "but it comes in handy when the theatrical characters such as Scarecrow, the Joker, and Minx are prowling around"

"Dr. Crane and the Joker are both now in captivity-"

"Actually, Mr. Viper" he turned on the news from the other night to see the Joker going trigger-happy throughout a burning Gotham, "He and Dr. Harleen Quinzel have been missing from Arkham almost two months now."

Viper's beady blue eyes narrowed contemptuously at that, making him wrinkle his nose and storm out of the office without a word further. He didn't see Batman the way everyone else did…he saw him as a launching pad for monsters like the Joker and Minx.

…

"So will you PLEASE come shopping with me? Please, please, please?" Mindy begged Trish while practically falling over her desk; snapshots of Minx, Harley Quinn, and the Joker catching her attention. "Damn!" she marveled Minx with a snigger while pointing to the picture, "She's hot."

"I don't care WHAT she looks like" Trish said with venom, "I'm takin' her down."

"You think you stand a chance against those mazungas?" she asked dubiously while pointing to Minx's gigantic cat claws, "I would not mess, Trisha Anne."

"Anyone goes down with a straight-shot" Trish beamed cheekily while kissing Mindy's cheek, which only made Mindy grimace and grasp her throat.

"So will you help me spend money on my boyfriend's credit card so he does not get mad at me" Mindy clapped her hands together, sat on Trish's desk, and flipped her spine backwards so her head was hanging upside down underneath Trish's, "please please please?" Trish's lips twitched before she smirked and drove a quick fist into Mindy's stomach and Mindy's back smacked the desk, "UGH!" she yelped and doubled over, barring her teeth and shaking her head at Trish.

"I have such a funny sister" Trish said in Mindy's face before grabbing her Prada handbag and ripping Mindy off the desk by her forearm. "Too bad it gets outweighed by her level of creep." Mindy flicked her tongue out on-cue and jumped up to lick Trish's ear. "UGH!" Trish palmed Mindy's face and shoved her away to the point that Mindy nearly knocked over a garbage can in the busy police office. "Does he know you're such a friggin' weirdo?"

"You KNOW you will not push me down the stairs" Mindy challenged carelessly as they exited the MCU and Mindy was pushed right into a railing, making her yelp and trip while clinging to it for dear life as Trish threw her head back and laughed as she simply strode down the steps.

…

Bruce and Lucius both sat in Lucius's office with Chelsea in Bruce's lap chewing a chocolate chip cookie from a cafeteria and Fievel was actually on Lucius's desk. Of course the CEO couldn't complain about it, he was in a conference with the owner.

"Now…" Lucius took a deep breath while watching tiny Chelsea, "when you tell me that this child is Autistic, I am assuming you do know what exactly this disorder is…?"

Bruce nodded stiffly before speaking, running his fingers through Chelsea's curly blonde hair.

"A disorder of neural development characterized by impaired social interaction and communication; and by restricted and repetitive behavior usually beginning before the child is three years old" he took a breath and curled his lips in for a moment, "I did my research, Lucius, what I would like to know is what exactly I can do to possibly help or reverse it."

"Mr. Wayne…" immediately Lucius's hands went up and he frowned, "There is no known cure for Autism. Children may become so high-functioning and recover so they lose the ASD diagnosis; but this only occurs after intensive treatment, and it doesn't always happen. Do you have her in some form of treatment program perhaps?"

"Miranda has her in applied behavior analysis at-home therapy; she's got a string of professionals working with her with developmental models, structural teaching, speech and language, social skills, and occupational therapy"

"And that is the best way to come about managing this disorder" Lucius nodded with a frown at little Chelsea, "How old is she, Mr. Wayne?"

"Three" he wasn't satisfied with that at all, and Lucius knew it. "They told my girlfriend that if she was lucky she would become a window washer…" his eyes narrowed slightly and he shook his head, "I'm not saying Chelsea would actually be reduced to that due to Miranda's wealth, but I want her to be able to speak and understand the world around her"

"They have no fear, Mr. Wayne" Lucius reminded Bruce gently, "No fear of anyone or anything. They don't know the meaning of the word. She would stick her hand on a hot stove a thousand times despite the pain and not learn to fear it."

"Well" Bruce shrugged simply and rested his lips atop Chelsea's head, "that simply won't do. I want Wayne Medical and Biotech to launch an Autism research branch immediately."

Lucius's eyes widened at the sudden insistence and for a moment, the older man simply observed the way Bruce had Chelsea cradled on him and frowned.

"Mr. Wayne, as innovative as that proposition sounds…" he watched Bruce's face harden, "Wayne Biotech's clear focus has always been cancer"

"And now I want attention to shift to something that has been hitting MANY more people close to home. About 1.5 percent of the world is Autistic, Lucius…" his eyes narrowed, "that's about forty-six million people. Forty-six MILLION. One out of every one-hundred-and-fifty people is Autistic. Quite staggering numbers for something that should not be a cause of concern…"

"Mr. Wayne you really have done your homework"

"And now that I've done my part it's time that this company shifted its focus to something practical-"

"The cure for cancer is not practical enough for you, Mr. Wayne?" he tried to hide the smile as Chelsea held up a piece of cookie to hand-feed Bruce.

"Yum" she said in her little pitch before he actually opened his mouth and ate the bitten piece of cookie right out of her hand.

"Thank you" he smiled fondly and kissed the top of her head as she went right back to lining up the broken cookie pieces on Lucius's desk before eating them in that very line. "I do care for cancer" he nodded, but Lucius caught right on to his game.

"But right now you've been enlightened on the world of PDD-NOS and would like to change the company's focus?"

Bruce took a moment to process that, and then nodded, "Yeah"

"You do realize what hell the board is going to give me after my presentation on organ cloning?"

"Tell them…" Bruce sighed and pondered a moment, "Cancer isn't going anywhere anytime soon, but if we applied our resources more towards something which affects children so young we'll gain more public support"

"And how are we going to come about that, Mr. Wayne?"

"Why" he smirked and looked Lucius in the eye, "The Wayne Foundation of course. I'll invite plenty of friends" by 'friends' he was of course insinuating the trust fund brigade, "hold a black-tie affair to support the cause…"

"And will Miss Stratigias be aware of any of this?" his eyebrows rose with a smile, he knew damn well what Bruce's real intentions were. They were completely respectable and romantic, but if the wrong person found out Bruce was exclusively doing this because of his celebrity girlfriend's Autistic child…?

"Of course" he nodded, "I need a date, don't I?"

The older man could only shake his head with a smile, "And once the companies merge to help fight this cause and you raise the money that would be necessary to rally the people against Autism…?"

"Hopefully it all goes to something one day and it will be able to benefit Chelsea"

"Miss Stratigias is a very lucky young woman" he smiled at the look on Bruce's face before finally asking, "When should I schedule the event which you suggested on-the-fly?"

"Hm…" he thought for a second, and then smiled thinly, "Two weeks from Saturday sounds promising. I think she can manage to find herself a gown between now and then."

"I'll make the arrangements, Mr. Wayne" he grinned warmly and made eye contact with Chelsea, "Perhaps with the correct gene research and environmental studies something can be pulled out of the mess to help Chelsea or future Chelsea's."

"There's only one Chelsea" he corrected while standing and lifting Fievel off the desk, "but helping small children sounds much more rewarding than our current direction."

"I'll see what I can do…" he nodded while noticing Bruce actually seemed ready to leave the building, "Going somewhere, Mr. Wayne?"

"Chelsea likes animals" he nodded while giving Fox a nod and a firm handshake, "I promised her the zoo to make up for the awful morning."

"Why, you mean she didn't enjoy herself sleeping through a board meeting on organ cloning, and then sitting in this room whilst you and I discuss ways to completely change the direction of two major branches of Wayne Enterprises?"

Bruce's brains looked scrambled for a moment, but then he grinned once Chelsea's head dropped to his shoulder.

"Anybody asks tell them I'm spending the day with my kid" he said while checking his phone for calls from Mindy before putting it away.

"I thought she was Miss Stratigias's…?"

"As far as anyone in this building is concerned she's mine" he said upon leaving with Chelsea and Fievel.


	19. Chapter 19: Took the Knight

**A/N: Thank you :D!**

Standing next to the searchlight which sported Batman's signal into the air that night was Commissioner Gordon and Trish. Besides being suspended, Viper was pretty much banned from being within a radius of Batman or he'd be missing teeth. It was made clear to Gordon that Batman would not hesitate to take him out at their next meeting, so the Commissioner tried not to make the people of Gotham's desire to hunt Batman down any greater than it already was. Pouting her full lips at the clouded sky which clearly reflected Batman's sign, Trish shifted her caramel eyes to the Commissioner and frowned.

"Do you think he's coming?" she asked the disgruntled man running a hand through his hair and holding the note which read 'Wayne Steel'. Checking the rooftop once again and exhaling in disappointment, Gordon could only bring the hand down to his thigh and shrug.

"This is the song and dance we've been doing since the very beginning…" he knew Trish wasn't satisfied with that answer, "I can guarantee nothing."

"But he realizes this is important, right?" Trish's voice dipped a bit, "Considering what just happened with the Joker…!"

"I don't think anyone's looking for Batman to save the day" he shook his head with a frown before actually leaning on the black metal rim of the searchlight impatiently, "According to his findings-"

"What is he?" Trish asked gently, furrowing her brow from behind her Chanel glasses and raising an eyebrow, "Nobody but you seems to have any faith in him around here…"

Gordon breathed deeply through his nose, seemingly having a rough time drumming up an answer.

"I have faith in him because he has faith in people…" his gentle gaze met Trish's and he gave her the faintest trace of a smile, "He's whatever the city needs him to be, I can't give you a straight answer."

"You don't think he could deal with the Joker, do you?" her plump glossed lips pouted, and again Gordon gave her no straight answer.

"He'll do what he can…and I don't expect any more from him" he swallowed hard and glanced at the signal in the sky, "As it is he believes he's found something which could possibly be a start to ending this"

Trish's eyes were on that little note in Gordon's hand, "Looks like his detective work's been payin' off."

"Maybe I should offer him Viper's job" he joked lightly, making Trish's face light up and she giggled.

…

In a shipyard on the East Side surrounded by an electric fence marked for 'Wayne Steel Co.' was an actual gray ship marked for 'Wayne Steel' full of shards of metal and steel compounds heavily surrounded by men of the Galante crime family. A large, heavy albino African American known to the public as Tobias Whale had taken over the Galante crime family; who controls the East Side of Gotham's underground crime. Harvey Dent had gotten them all off the streets (though of course Whale made bail) until it was discovered that he was Two-Face, and it all went to shit. Whale happened to be dressed in a fine suit with a walking cane while the rest looked like hell.

"That bitch said she'd be here," the head gang member hissed while jerking his head about nervously, "where is she?"

"On her way, I assume" Whale didn't even bother leaning down and lowering his voice, "You know Minxy's good for it"

"Good for what?" speak of the devil. Out of the shadows strutted the little half-beast with those frightening glowing baby blue eyes.

"Minxy!" the gang leader nodded towards the little woman about fifteen feet away and she paused under a streetlight, shifting her weight to the left and folding her arms across her chest, "What's with the wait, sweetheart?"

"Sorry…got a little 'sidetracked' if ya catch me" chuckling lowly before stalking towards the two men, Minx eyeballed the ship and stopped a safe distance away to speak to them, "This it?"

Tobias simply kept silent. His eyes were on Minx's nearly-exposed chest, but she didn't give a damn.

The gang leader fidgeted, "You don't know how hard it is to get by the guys that work here-"

"Mr. Whale here shoulda filled ya in on how to get around them" Minx's eyes widened as she stared at Tobias contemptuously, "Or has he forgotten the deal he made with the boss?"

"Everything has gone according to plan, Minxy, relax sugar" Whale motioned to all the men actually dressed in Wayne Steel uniforms, and Minx nodded accordingly, "Convinced business managers our plans for building ships in the Gulf, of course Wayne's too involved with that piece of ass to realize what's been happening behind his back"

"But he doesn't run anything" Minx frowned, "he just owns it"

"And I have friends who DO the running" Tobias gave Minx a wink and she wanted to vomit, "Now…" narrowing his eyes he'd noticed that Minx came alone carrying nothing, "Where's my four million you so fondly promised if I ran the clown's errand?"

"Four million here?" Minx giggled and placed a hand on Whale's chest, which heavily agitated the gang leader, "Are you nuts?"

"Then where IS IT, Minxy?" he snapped, "We don't do nothin' for no one I don't care HOW cute you think you are!"

"You mean you don't think I'm cute?" Minx frowned while shuffling the ground with her boots.

"Adorable" Tobias grinned while wrapping an arm about her shoulders, "but allow me to show you what happens when the Galante family is double-crossed-" he reached into his coat pocket to pull out the pistol when a razor was shot his way and caught his hand, "AGH!"

"WAHH!" Minx yelped when out of the darkness shot the Tumbler with all the lights on and she flew into the air, "HOLY element-of-surprise, Batman!"

"BITCH!" the gang leader shouted while scrambling backwards as the rest of the men prepared fire from both the ground and the ship. "You led him right to us!"

"Oops" Minx grimaced and flew higher into the air while anticipating Batman to get out of the vehicle and start kicking asses.

Tobias was already backed up and flanked by three men and Doberman's while the Tumbler sat there for a minute with no one getting out. The men exchanged glances and the dogs growled, but little did they realize the vehicle was in 'loiter' mode, which then switched to 'intimidate'. Rockets were launched at the ship, hitting it square in the stern and causing a huge explosion. A few men on the ship tried to run down towards the bow from the explosion when a large black figure blocked their way. A long moment of panic-induced silence passed when Batman finally spoke.

"Boo" a rope was shot out at the men. They all screamed for their lives as they were wrapped up in seconds and tied to the railing of the ship with gorilla tape over their mouths.

"What was that?" the leader gasped as men were firing at the ship as the number of screams from the men that were on it increased. Minx could only curl her lips and frown with dread as Whale held a gun in one hand and glared at her.

"YOU!" Whale shouted at Minx, who smiled sheepishly and gave him a bit of a dangling wave.

"_You got a new friend; well I got HO-mies!_" Minx rapped a bit gently, cringing as many gunshots came from the ship about to embark.

Three men stood on land with Doberman's all ready to fire shotguns at Batman when he landed right in the middle of the three, and literally snapped the barrels of their guns with one hand effortlessly. The dogs jumped on him, but Batman ripped them off and punched one guy square in the face to break his nose before breaking another's arm and giving the other a concussion with an elbow to the side of the head. Batman swung at another group of men and took them out swiftly when Tobias caught his attention with little Minx hovering above them.

Since he had no choice but to go after the Dark Knight, the gang leader stepped in front with his heavy firearm and started shooting away, but lucky for Batman the suit was bulletproof for the most part and he kept going forwards.

"GET HIM!" Tobias shouted at the leader, who was scrawny and not nearly as large as the albino, "GET HIM NOW!"

"_Hate hate hate hate hate! I don't care what bitches say! I don't even look their way!_" Minx swayed while shaking her head at the gangbanger about to get creamed, and he did. Before he could try and fire again, the Dark Knight had grabbed and broken his gun before he could figure out what to do with it and literally knocked him out cold with a single hit. "Ooo…!" she was amused to say the least when Tobias scowled and beat the wrists of the guards until the three Doberman's were released, "OH fucknuggets!"

She actually looked really into the fight as one by one he swatted the dogs away followed by advances of the three guards. Batman was so occupied by the six-on-one he couldn't make himself aware of the gun pointed right at his head from behind by Tobias.

"YO!" barring her teeth and swooping down just as Tobias pulled the trigger, Minx grabbed his head between her feet, flipped backwards into the air while tucking her knees to her chest and still holding Tobias between her feet, and slammed him to the ground face-first so fast Batman nearly missed it all. She wasn't strong enough to do that maneuver without velocity, so the speed which was required to do such a thing was astronomical. Batman did catch the save though none the less, since the bullet had gone literally right over his head he was able to knock the dogs against dumpsters and poles to rid them. He seriously did have shit luck with animals. Minx stood atop Tobias and panted, unaware that Batman was looking at her before going to snap the back of his neck with her foot.

"NO!" Batman shouted at her hoarsely, but Minx couldn't give a damn.

"This man tries to kill you and now you tell me to spare his life?" she hissed and whipped her claws out, "I don't think so, buddy. You've got rules, but I sure as hell don't."

"Don't even think about it" he said just as he heard the giant SNAP! Minx had jammed her foot into his neck so hard it broke and killed him. Her eyes narrowed and there was a long silence as they both glared at each other until Minx finally spoke.

"You can start by thanking me for saving your black ass" Minx nodded while stepping off the body of the crime family leader, watching how the Dark Knight's eyes had shifted towards the body on the ground, which to her was nothing. "I don't give a fuck" she said in her familiar deep male impersonation before shrugging and floating towards Batman slowly, "The man's a fuckin' mob leader and here you are defending him after he clearly tried to shoot you in the back of the head"

"I am NOT defending him as a man!" he stalked towards her fearlessly and ripped her by her wrist, "What right do you have to choose whether to take away a man's life?"

"Justice is balance" she repeated those eerie words which had haunted from Raa's Al Ghul, "This man killed hundreds through drug trafficking…he deserves to die."

"He deserved a proper trial!" he corrected nastily, which only made her snort and hold a hand to her chest.

"Excuse me, but let's not forget that I just saved your life because you weren't paying attention to your surroundings!"

"WHY?" he rasped hoarsely, ripping her to the ground and barring his teeth when she simply slipped out from under him and freed her own wrist.

"I told you, I owed you my life" she gave him a gentle nod and curled her lips though he couldn't see, "And if you ask me that was a pretty sick kill"

"What does the Joker want with all that dynamite? He's already blown half the city-"

"Aren't you going to arrest me, Officer?" she teased, purring before lying on her back while floating around him.

"Not yet…" he scowled while not moving a muscle, "but once I can get you to show your face in court-"

"You ain't gettin' me in a court if it's the last thing I do" she sassed before rolling in the air onto her stomach, "I've been helpin' you WAY more than I should. Boss's gonna friggin' skin me for this."

"Who were they to you?" he knew who they all were, he just wanted to know why she was dealing with Gotham's gangs.

"Money, what else?" she sneered, "We rob banks to pay off those mob fuckers so they get their friends in high places such as Wayne Steel, and their little bitches-I mean gangs-to do our shit. This time apparently I forgot the money"

"What could the Joker possibly want with all that dynamite?"

"Several things…" she nodded while chewing the inside of her cheek.

"And where is he now? Why are YOU being sent here alone?"

"I'm a tough bitch to kill" she waved him off and blew air past her lips, "You will never find him. I do not even know where he is"

"You know him well"

"Of course I do…" she furrowed her brow and cocked her head, "He's got green hair and funny clothes"

"What does he want with me?"

"To play" she shrugged, "Take that for what you will, I'm no chemist."

"Why are you helping me?" his eyes narrowed yet again, making Minx shrug and flip back to her feet, tracing small circles on his chest.

"Because I would love to see you kick his unfunny ass all over this city" with that she rose into the air and flew out of sight, and he let her go. Why he did that when he had a clear shot, he'd never figure out.

…

"I'd like you to find a gown…" Bruce said dully while strolling in uptown Gotham with Mindy in hand actually wearing a short little red dress and high heels. They had to keep up public appearances somehow, and he was going to be the one to buy her the dress to make sure he liked the way it looked on her. Her nose wrinkled slightly and her head tilted up to look at his profile as they moved.

"A gown?"

"Yes, darling" he nodded as cameras flashed all around them from paparazzi, "a pretty gown."

"As opposed to the ugly one I would have gone for if you did not clarify that for me" she rolled her eyes and sighed as they walked by different designer's boutiques. The corners of his mouth twitched and displayed a ghost of a smile before kissing her hand and stringing his next sentence together since his stomach decided to tie in knots the moment he knocked on her door that afternoon.

"Exactly…" only his hazel eyes shifted to catch the pout make its way across her fair face, so naturally he did his best to reverse the friendly insult, "You're marvelous, alright?" cocking his head slightly, he lifted her chin with two of his fingers and she grinned. Licking her lips quickly and catching Roberto Cavalli in close range, Mindy happily pulled him by the hand into the boutique hugging his arm.

Inside the store Bruce held Mindy's hand while carefully studying the mannequins all on display in different gowns when a royal blue backless dress caught his eye. Following his gaze Mindy cocked her head at it and rolled her eyes at the empire-waisted thing.

"The one color I tell you that I hate is blue…" their eyes met and she shook her head, "yet that is the only color you ever wanna see me in." Leading him by the hand she approached the gown and studied it carefully while chewing the inside of her cheek, "What is it for, anyway?" Straightening his posture and spreading his broad shoulders, he looked to her for a moment as she impatiently expected an answer.

"Charitable event for the Wayne Foundation…" he replied vaguely before giving her a quick nod, "You're my date."

"Really?" she raised an eyebrow and chuckled, "There's no asking involved it's…" she waved a hand in a circle, "you just know this?"

"Well uhh" he leaned so his shoulder sat directly behind hers, "unless you have better plans, of course" she whacked him in the chest with the back of her hand before checking around for a sales associate, so the moment Bruce snapped his fingers and pointed to her she was surrounded.

…

Stepping through the 'CAUTION' tape marking off the crime scene where Tobias Whale laid dead was Commissioner Gordon. The wind picked the light brown hair up as he approached Trish and a team of other officers surrounding the body with notepads and cameras. They captured the goons and bodyguards of the Galante's were being taken out in cuffs after being untied from Batman's rope…but that wasn't what had the Commissioner's concern. Taking a deep breath he quickly approached the body and met Trish's eyes with intense dread.

"Was it him?" Gordon's eyes avoided the four-hundred-pounder just for a moment with his mouth slightly agape so Trish could give him the verdict. The brunette young woman shook her head and allowed Gordon to breathe again.

"It's possible…" Trish pursed her lips, "His neck was broken from behind, see?" her finger went down and Gordon nodded, "I highly doubt it though…" she shook her head and swallowed, "all the guys are cursin' Minx."

"Why would Minx foil her own operation?" Gordon shook his head while staring at the gaping hole in the ocean liner as well as the steel littering the ground everywhere.

"I…" Trish shrugged and grimaced, "I can't answer that. All I know…" she grabbed a chunk of her own hair and shrugged, "is these guys are PISSED at someone between Batman and Minx."

"Minx?" Gordon wrinkled his nose and stared at the corpse on the ground and the very way his neck was broken, "No, she couldn't do that"

"But you said that Batman couldn't kill anybody…?" Trish reminded him gently, tucking some hair behind her ear and shaking her head, "The way his neck was broken doesn't really require much strength" she looked to him with a raised eyebrow, "and we know that uhh…our little Minxy's lackin' in that department. A kill like this she actually could pull off semi-easily if she felt so inclined"

"But if Whale was working for her, what would drive her to kill him, it makes no sense" Gordon dismissed with a puzzled shake of the head, looking to the damage done to the liner as crews of men were actually pulling explosives off the boat in cartloads. It was obvious that Batman was there as well, but he knew better than to believe that he would actually go as far as to kill someone. "Why do they need all that?"

…

"May I ask you something, darling?" Bruce asked from across the small table as he and Mindy dined in the Veranda, a posh little place swarming with big names such as theirs.

The attractive couple was seated in the center both picking at small dishes since they really weren't all-that hungry, but needed an excuse to be together and a between-lunch-and-dinner meal sounded grand. Bruce ended up buying the blue gown for Mindy; despite her protests he thought she was adorable in blue. He never said she HAD to wear that color, he merely suggested it. Her cold little hand sat in his as he admired the diamonds that Mindy's manicurist had stuck on her ring fingers to look cute.

"Mhm" Mindy nodded absently while poking her fork into her plate to spear a snow pea. His head tilted to the side for a moment, his lips forming a straight line while studying her face.

"What's your opinion of the Batman?" he asked a bit firmly, slightly throwing her off. Her ice-blue eyes met his and she stared befuddled before speaking with a shrug.

"He needs a straitjacket…" she placed a hand over her mouth as she chewed and swallowed (though at this point he was so used to her eating habits he barely noticed anything odd), "but I think deep down he is a good man" she nodded while looking Bruce in the eye lovingly, "Don't you think?"

He stared at her for a long minute, watching her awkwardly go back to eating before finally speaking up.

"What would make you think that? I mean" he chuckled a bit to hide any speculation on her part, "The guy runs around in a cape and a mask-"

"Yet is the only reason this city is still standing" she corrected a bit sharply, "The Joker thrives on its organized crime families to get him the resources he needs before going batshit on whoever he feels like. Batman's been his little scapegoat lately takin' the rap for everything because nobody has actually seen or believed that the escaped Arkham prisoner is back-" the look on his face made her stop. "What?"

"You're quite knowledgeable for a public figure of your stature…" immediately he caught the error in that and raised both eyebrows to correct himself, "not that it's a BAD thing, it's just…" his hazel eyes narrowed slightly as he gazed at her, "not what I would expect." He'd heard that information from her before, so playing dumb was killing him.

"You think I am dumb…" her voice dipped and she shook her head disappointedly when he drew her hand to his lips and floated a most delicate kiss to it.

"I actually believe you're a very bright young woman" he inhaled deeply and gave her another kiss.

"I met him" she nodded to Bruce quickly while resuming eating, "It sounds like I am lying, but I did. He showed up on my balcony and I thought you sent him for me"

"What makes you think that I would do such a thing when I live next door?" he asked kindly, softening his facial features at her and giving her a warm smile, "I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

Nodding subtly for a moment, Mindy pushed to her feet with a single hand and leaned to give him a rough kiss on the lips from across the table. She didn't care they were in a restaurant, she didn't care that everyone was staring, and once he got over the shock factor of Mindy's aggression he kissed her back equally as full. He was Bruce Wayne; he could make out with his girlfriend obnoxiously and get away with it. A waiter walked over holding a wine bottle and cleared his throat while watching the couple leaning across the table to exchange saliva.

"Would you two like more wine?" that voice. Mindy gasped and pulled away from Bruce, almost falling backwards in the chair when he stood and gently helped her sit back down in the chair, raising an eyebrow while glancing about.

"What's the matter, what is it?" Bruce frowned at her discomfort and glanced about, but Mindy gave no reaction other than retreating into her own little shell and shivering. "Darling…!" he lifted her chin and stroked her face with the back of his hand, "What happened? Are you-"

"No…" she croaked while taking his hand and kissing it, "sit down, I am okay."

Reluctantly he did so, and they spent the rest of the meal in uncomfortable silence.

…

Sitting at his military-grade giant-screen supercomputer in the makeshift Batcave underneath a shipyard owned by Wayne Enterprises one night, Bruce's eyes were actually becoming sore from staring at the screen where all sorts of articles based on the Joker were displayed. Minx had given Batman a decent amount of information considering she was playing for the wrong team, but still not enough. He needed a bigger clue. If he really wanted to waste a lot of time he could try and actually interview those who once knew the Joker to try and find anything out that he could. What was he going to do once he found out anyway, swordfight? His index finger was actually falling asleep over the mouse and he'd been without human interaction for hours; and though that usually didn't bug him, when he could be with Miranda or Alfred circumstances changed.

"Any luck on your blind search, Master Bruce?" Alfred asked while carrying over a tray with a silver teapot and china teacup on it for him.

Bruce squeezed his eyes shut to keep the brains from scrambling while wrinkling his nose for a moment just to continue blood flow.

"Alfred…" he placed his hands behind his head and sighed while leaning in the chair to crack his back, "I have no idea."

Setting the tray down and glancing up at the screen, Alfred could only avert his eyes and exhale heavily while looking to Bruce, "Why doesn't Batman ask the girl for an idea?"

"Can't" Bruce dismissed quickly, "Minx said-"

"But did the young woman not say that there are those in Wayne Enterprises who were in the pocket of the Joker, Sir?" Alfred offered gently. It may have seemed like he was innocently offering but he knew more than Bruce did, he knew far more than he wanted Bruce to know.

"Look," his voice actually sharpened dramatically and his hazel eyes narrowed while facing Alfred coldly, "I want Miranda out of this, alright? I'm afraid I've dragged her in too deep already, could you imagine what could happen to her if those three or those working for them found out? She has young children, I can't risk them"

"I believe…Master Bruce…" he began cautiously, eyes going rounder with what could possibly be dread, "that Miss Stratigias' ties to that terrorist organization may be much deeper than you-"

"No" Bruce shook his head, "Apparently her assailant was the Joker, can you believe that?"

"And now there's a bounty on your head" he couldn't have given what he knew away any more if he tried.

Bruce's eyebrow raised and he nodded along, "I don't want her alone anymore"

"And what are you going to do?" Alfred shrugged while staring down at Bruce, "Ask the girl you will hardly speak to about matters of utter importance when her very life may depend upon it…as could yours."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Bruce's eyes narrowed and his lips tightened, "Opening her mouth and revealing information could get her killed, it has nothing to do with me"

"And may I be so bold as to ask you something, Master Bruce…?" he waited for Bruce's nod to continue, "Are you in love with her?"

Inhaling through his nose and closing out of the screen, Bruce pushed to his feet and turned his head away as to conceal any emotion he could be displaying, "I can't, Alfred…" he shook his head and faced his father figure drolly, "Rachel-"

"Was not the one for you, Master Bruce" Alfred shook his head firmly, which only provoked Bruce and he took a couple angry steps closer.

"I've loved her since I was a child, Alfred! She said we could be together she SAID she would wait-"

"For you as a friend, yes…" Alfred admitted ruefully, staring blankly at Bruce as his entire face fell, "and only as a friend." Bruce's heart completely stopped beating at that very moment. "Before Miss Dawes left your penthouse the morning of her death she left me with a letter addressed in your name"

"And you didn't let me see it?" Bruce panicked, "Where is it, Alfred? WHY have you been hiding this from me? It was addressed to ME I deserve to see it!"

"She informed me to give it to you when the time was right, and implied for me to read it by stating flatly that the envelope was not sealed."

"And what?" Bruce shrugged nastily, "NOW is your time?"

"Unfortunately, Sir…there will never BE a time" eerie silence crept over the two as he took a long breath, "I dared not utter those words to you unless I had no choice"

"What were they?" the billionaire demanded, "What WERE they, Alfred? Tell me!"

"You won't like them, I can forewarn you…" his arms remained stiff at his sides as he stared at Bruce quite expressionless, "but if it helps your decision regarding Miss Stratigias I believe it is about time you stopped waiting on a ghost." He took a deep breath, kept his eyes straight on Bruce's, and reluctantly recited the words of the letter he had burned because they were set to break the man he raised as his own's heart.

Bruce's hand went over his mouth and his gaze completely switched from Alfred to the floor, curling his lips in so tight that it hurt and nodding along. It didn't change the way he felt about her, how could it? But he thought they'd be together, she had promised him they'd be together…

"I didn't want to be the one to tell you, Sir" Alfred's eyes glazed over at the crushed expression on Bruce's face, "I burned it for your own protection."

Finally Bruce nodded, taking another silent deep breath before looking Alfred in the eye, "Do you think Miranda feels the same way?" he croaked, running a hand through his hair and trembling.

"I believe Miss Stratigias adores you" he said while placing a hand over Bruce's shoulder, "I wish you would not forsake her for someone who is no longer among us, and does not share your feelings."

"I'm not" Bruce said while heading towards where the Batsuit was located in its case, "I love her."

"Because you truly harbor the feeling or because you now realize you are allowed to let go of Miss Dawes?"

"I'm crazy about her" he eyeballed his suit before looking to Alfred behind him and nodding, "I just wasn't sure how to handle it."

"And how do you plan on handling 'it', sir?"


	20. Chapter 20: Not Dead

**A/N: Thank you :D!**

"What did they say he had…?" Mindy floated a couple of feet up in Harley Quinn's apartment and grabbed a couple of spices out of the cabinet to throw into the glaze she was making over a steak, "in Arkham"

A bare-faced Harley frowned and crossed her arms over her chest, her long blonde hair beginning to curl up at the ends after her shower. She watched Mindy go about cooking for a couple of their goons because she was Polish and assumed every single person had to eat at all times. It explained her gluttonous habits. Harley still was hesitant to answer when Mindy stopped moving and placed a hand over her hip, rolling her eyes.

"Look…" a little manicured hand ran through her hair and she shrugged, "you know I am schizo. I make no bones about it. I see things you do not, I hear things you do not, I believe things you do not…" she cocked her head and paused, pouting her lips, "but I am on medication."

"So you're sayin' Mistah J is crazy" Harley shrugged with intent on busting Mindy somehow and the little woman tilted her head way back so she could look Harley in the eye.

"You are a fuckin' shrink. Do not bullshit my ass by telling me he is all right in the head."

She and Harley exchanged glances for a long moment when Harley dropped her jaw to speak, but really couldn't get a word out.

"He brainwashed you…" Mindy spoke up so the young woman would maybe respond, "You as a medical professional know that sociopaths cannot love anyone. He will lie" she shuddered and smiled thinly at the man entering the room in the clown mask, so she pulled it off and giggled at one of the mentally ill goons, "Do not worry Johnny, no one is here but us."

Harley just stared at the pint-sized raven-haired chubby meatball as she smiled and patted John on the head the moment he took a seat at the kitchen table, knowing a bunch of them were playing poker in the living room.

"Thanks, Minxy" John nodded when she poked her tongue between her teeth and shook her head.

"Mindy, please" again she patted his head and headed back towards the bowl she was making the glaze in, "Dinner will be ready in like, forty minutes since we are cannibals and like our meat still alive-"

"You mean SAVAGES" Harley corrected with a light giggle at the confused look Mindy gave her, "Savages eat their food still alive, cannibals eat other people"

"ACK!" Mindy threw up in her mouth a little and twitched out, "Who the fuck said anything about eating people?"

"YOU did" she poked Mindy's nose and giggled, "Silly kitty."

"Meow" Mindy gave them her realistic mew and sniffled while bouncing in place, "I bit my husband's hand once"

"Oh?" Harley's interest was captured once more, "How'd ya do that?"

"It did not taste very nice" she wrinkled her nose and shook her head, "All copper and shit, but I loved him so I did not think it was gross"

"Again, sweetness" Harley leaned over the counter and Mindy started mixing the glaze she made in the bowl, "why'd you bite him?"

Her eyes widened and she mashed her teeth a bit, "I thought he was my mommy coming back to get me but he was not he was just my Jack and so I bite-ed him."

"Ah" Harley nodded, familiar at least with schizophrenic hallucinations, "Was he mad?"

"My Jack?" she pursed her lips and shook her head, "No, my Jack never got mad. My boyfriend does not get mad either when I say weird stuff"

"Well he's Bruce Wayne" Harley shrugged with a girlish giggle, "The guy's a complete nutcase himself"

"Of the two of us…" Mindy began with wide eyes, "I think I take cake."

"THE cake" Harley corrected again with a laugh and Mindy waved her off.

"Whatever. I like cake. I make cake a lot."

Harley squeezed Mindy tightly and giggled, "I LOVE your cake!"

"I like my cake too" she nodded before beginning to lean over the counter and laugh hysterically into her hand. Harley was quick to catch on as was John at the table.

"What?" Harley was laughing too but had absolutely no idea why, "What's so damn funny that you're spitting half your weight up?"

Mindy laughed even harder before bouncing and flipping the straightened raven mop over her head, took several deep breaths to compose, and cleared her throat.

"You know how there's the Candy Shop song and the Cherry Pie song and the Milkshake song and 30,000 Pounds of Bananas song and the Chop Suey song and the Chocolate Rain song and the Hot Dog song and the Laffy Taffy song and the Lollipop song and the Mashed Potatoes song and the Pumpkin Soup song and the Ketchup song and the TV Dinners song" once Mindy realized that all eyes were on her she cringed meekly and curled her lips in as tight as she could, shuffling her feet and dropping her eyes.

"We were waitin' t' see if you'd shut up on your own" one of the men playing poker chuckled at her.

"Ahh…" Mindy looked to Harley and nodded along for a moment before swinging into a little song of her own, "_If I knew you were comin' I'd've baked a cake baked a cake, baked a cake! If I knew you were comin' I'd've baked a cake! Howd-ya do, howd-ya do, howd-ya do"_

"You are SO weird…" Harley held a hand over her mouth and grabbed Mindy's hair so it didn't fall into the food as the tiny young woman bounced around to her own beat belting the song extremely loud, "What PLANET are you from?"

"_Oh, I don't know where you came from 'cause I don't know where you've been! But it really doesn't matter! Grab a chair and fill your platter! And dig, dig, dig right in!" _

"What the HELL, Miranda?" Harley snickered loudly as Mindy just happily bounced about in her own little world, and it was honestly far too cute to really get irritated, "Why are you so weird?"

Mindy didn't hear her or was ignoring her, one of the two, before grabbing a brush and coating the hell out of her steak with her homemade glaze, "_If I knew you were comin' I'd've baked a cake! Hired a band, goodness sake! If I knew you were comin' I'd've baked a cake! Howd-ya do, howd-ya do, howd-ya do"_

One of the men shouted from the other room as Mindy floated backwards upside down and stuck her tongue all the way out, "Sing something NORMAL!"

"Grab my fuckin' iPod motherfucker!" Mindy pointed to the custom hot pink iPhone chilling in the center of the kitchen table and she looked to Harley, "Bubble, where's your dock?"

"Over there" Harley pointed towards her living room and excitedly Mindy bounded off after putting her iPhone on shuffle and jacked the volume, making all the men groan and she placed her hands on her hips and frowned at their card game.

_Na na na na na  
Come on  
Na na na na  
Come on, come on, come on  
Na na na na_

"I thought I was being NICE considering Hilary Duff was next in line" Mindy shrugged innocently while glancing at all their cards and pulling a joker card out of one of the guy's decks, placing it down on the table and making them all look up at her, "Where is he?"

"Who knows" one shrugged while sucking the life out of his cigarette, "I thought you were fucking Wayne"

"I am DATING Bruce, yes" she nodded with big eyes, "He is a very nice boy I would bring him home to my mommy if I did not stab her eyes out with kitchen scissors"

They all exchanged glances as Mindy skipped into the kitchen singing along to the pop song happily.

"_Cause I may be bad, but I'm perfectly good at it! Sex in the air, I don't care; I love the smell of it! Sticks and stones may break my bones! But chains and whips excite me!__" _her tongue poked between her teeth and she hip-checked Harley, "Come on, bitch! Do not make me sing this alone!"

"I don't know it" Harley shrugged as Mindy glanced about wide-eyed at the glazed faces, shaking her head in shock.

"Christ on a pony, how do you people manage to know absolutely jack about life?"

"Rihanna ain't what's gonna get us a meal" John said from reading the paper at the table and Mindy pouted her lips.

"Actually Rihanna IS why you have dinner…" she cringed and sucked in air through her teeth, "If you are good at somethin', never do it without a soundtrack."

"Soundtrack…" John snorted while fiddling with his clown mask and he looked up at her as she started actually belly dancing while using the glazing brush as a microphone.

"_S-S-S & M-M-M! S-S-S & M-M-M__!" _

"You should see her drunk" Harley rolled her eyes while grabbing a handful of Mindy's hair and shaking her head.

"Wanna know what REALLY grinds my gears about this little number?" Mindy waved an eccentric little hand before looking Harley in the eye, and the blonde had to cock her head and wait for the next crackbrained response.

"What, Miss Kitty? What grinds your gears about this song?"

"If stuff like chains and whips and shit turn Rihanna on…then why did she break up with Chris Brown?"

"MINDY!" Harley shrieked and doubled over laughing in shock, bouncing and nearly spitting she was in such stitches.

"She's fuckin' nuts" one of the men playing poker shook his head with a bit of a smirk, "funny little bitch…but completely off her rocker."

"I feel like the Last Supper" one of the others snorted and pinched the bridge of his nose at Mindy continuing to sing and dance around Harley's kitchen, "and she's Jesus."

"She's got some kisser" another said while they all craned their necks to see Mindy happily sitting on the table and pulling Harley over to hold her shoulders trying to make her dance with her.

"Viper eyes" another nodded in agreement at Mindy's ice blue orbs even though her back was turned, "Nobody's got those eyes…they lure you"

"That's why they glow at night" the main goon chimed in, "She's got cat lenses…reflect the light even when there is none"

"What the hell is she?" the one who Mindy pulled the joker card from asked, "She ain't human."

"She is" the one that had kept quiet out of the seven said, "they locked her up in Canada for three years after she pecked her mama's eyes out…did all sorts of nasty experimental shit and now she's part freak."

"How the hell do you turn someone into a cat and why?"

"They thought by switchin' up her optic lenses with a feline's they'd cure her hallucinations. Cats got a connection to supernatural shit so they injected and implanted all sorts of nasty cat shit to her, loaded her veins with Xium to try and cover their tracks but she ended up flying from it, and there's the Minx. The 'X' in her name comes from the element that turned her into a freak, but ended up bein' a bad pun 'cuz we all know what minx means"

"Just like that?" the second guy asked with a shrug, "Where the hell'd you hear that crock?"

"Overheard the boss"

"Why would the boss know all that shit?"

The man chewed his cheek for a moment and looked around the table at the men very gravely, "He's fucking her."

…

"I like these" Mindy nodded while tugging on the Joker's suspenders where they clipped onto his purple pants, making him raise an eyebrow and wait for her to press herself against him, which of course she did, "much sexier than a belt"

He winced and held up a hand at that, grimacing and sucking air through his teeth, "Ya see…I was going for CLASS being that it cost Gambol-"

"I coulda bought it for ya" she rolled her eyes from her spot standing near the couches of the great room in her penthouse near midnight. He always came later at night because Trish went to bed early and the kids went down the moment he walked in the door. Bruce's security he'd placed in front of her doors only went so far.

"Well you weren't exactly AROUND to buy it, were you?" that made her cringe and frown for a moment, floating up a foot so she could grab his head on equal level and kiss him.

"I am sorry" she licked his lips for him and kissed him again, "I came back, didn't I?"

"For WAYNE" he sneered and backed a step from her, "the guy's a complete ignoramus what could you ever learn from him?"

"I dropped outta high school for a reason"

"Does Mr. Princeton know that?" he teased in her face and she shrugged.

"He don't give a fuck"

"Well" his eyes dropped condescendingly and he shrugged with a bit of a twitch, "that is…until you show him who you really are…" he knew where she was going to take it so he held a finger to her lips and cocked his head, "and I mean the BIG picture…not selective information as you always like to give"

"Well boys have selective hearing so who cares" she shrugged when he raised his eyebrows before exhaling dramatically at her level of arrogance.

"I listen…" he nodded while giving her big eyes, "that's what gives me such an EDGE over people like the mob…and Gordon…and Dent…"

"And me" she threw in with a wrinkled nose when he took a breath and ran a hand through his hair, trying to formulate a sentence before shaking his head.

"You're a funny one"

"Am I a squealer?" she asked quite monotone and he had to turn his head to snicker, pinching the bridge of his nose before chuckling.

"Depends on your mood…you…" he threw an arm out and slapped his side roughly, "Sell me out to Bat-breath one minute and" he really enjoyed drawing this next word out, "shield…me the next." He sat down next to her on the couch and shook his head, "I don't need whatever 'protection' you think you're giving me I fared off just fine before-"

"You got locked in Arkham?" she raised an eyebrow and snorted, "Yeah! That shit worked out great for you! Harleen-histrionic-Quinzel was your doctor and you made off with her"

His eyes were already squeezing shut as his teeth clenched from the inaccuracy of her little assumption.

"I don't 'make off' with anyone, let me remind you…" he leaned close and nodded in her face, "I could have busted out on my own any time I wanted to…" his voice dropped and his eyes narrowed, "but no"

"You were waitin' for your ace in the hole"

"She was so…" he sighed, "EASY…to contort…" he brightened, "like you sometimes!"

She was not amused by that comment.

"Women are pathetic…" he leaned close to her face and brushed his extremely scarred lips against hers, "With all your…" his voice dipped as he leaned further over her on the couch, "emotions, constant yearnings, and need for incessant attachment."

"Oh?" her eyebrows rose dubiously, "And Mr. Man over here comes to my house every night and stays with me because-"

"Yah ta-ta-ta-ta" he shook a gloved index finger when she pulled the glove off and began kissing, "look at you…" his left hand reached to support his weight on the opposite side of her head and he frowned close to her skin, "look at the way I have you behaving…"

Her lips parted so they could kiss and her arm wrapped around his neck.

"And you're going to sit here and tell me women aren't bloodthirsty gnats" his fingers pinched in her face repeatedly until she started nipping at them, "just coming over, and over, and over again until there's nothing left and boom!"

"You explode?" her eyes widened and he smirked before shaking his head.

"I wish" he rolled his eyes before petting her face with the back of his hand, "but that's not the POINT, you see…" he waited for her to eagerly nod along, "you women are also fickle as hell and DON'T" he growled at her, "even THINK about denying me-"

"She wants your piece" she finished the sentence, "You said so yourself" her finger swiped down the bridge of his nose, "Fantasies are only desired until we actually fulfill them, and then we don't want it anymore because it takes away the thrill of always wanting what we cannot have and thinking of the possibilities. Knowing that we cannot have it is what makes fantasies what they are"

"No wonder I love you" he went to kiss her again but stopped awkwardly, dropping his eyes as if irritated by himself when she hooked her legs around his waist and they kissed.

"I love YOU!" she poked his nose and giggled, pulling his purple jacket off and sticking her arms through the sleeves which annoyed him greatly.

He nodded sarcastically, "Of course you can steal my one-of-a-kind custom-tailored mob-purchased suit"

"I don't give a fuck" she said in a deep voice and hugged his waist while crawling into his lap and looking at the TV. Their eyes had gone up to see a shark take someone's leg off and the bastard sat there in an interview explaining how none of it was the shark's fault and how he still greatly respects the animal. "Would YOU go back in the water?"

"With flowers and candy" he nodded at her surely and kept his mouth rested behind her head before becoming bored, "What are we doing?"

"We used to watch TV all the time."

"I hate televisions" he cringed and shook his head at it apathetically, "trains you to base your opinions and outlooks on life based off what the people in the box say"

"And yours is just SO much better" her head lolled back on his shoulder and she kissed his hand which was restless on one of his thighs, "You really cannot sit still, can you?"

He continued fidgeting around before meeting her eyes and shaking his head with a frown, "Not really."

"Naww" her teeny fingers reached back and combed his hair away from his face, "I made dinner tonight finally if you would like"

"What is it?" he watched her get up and jumped over the couch. He was up her ass before she could even really enter the kitchen, "Hey! I asked you a question"

"Shit on a shingle" she opened the microwave and made sure the bowl was still in there before heating it up, "Minestrone."

"Am I Italian?" he asked in distaste while sitting on the counter impatiently; twiddling his fingers and realizing only one hand gloved and the other was on the couch.

"You will eat what I give ya and shut up" she pointed a finger at him while pulling the bowl out and handing it to him, "There."

Literally moments later he was using the back of the spoon to knock the peas off to the side and scowled while she sat on the counter cross-legged right over him.

"Did it ever dawn on you to maybe cook something I LIKE?"

"_You can't! Always get! What you want_!" she responded in a sing-song voice before watching him dissect his food more.

"You want me to starve, don't you Sid?"

"I do not care what you like because you do not like anything"

He gave her a glare and she shook her head with wide eyes.

"Oh HELL no! You are definitely the pickiest fucking eater I have EVER seen in my life you are worse than the babies! Don't you even try that shit with me you're a one-slice bitch!"

"Name-"

"Hmmm…you only eat pasta with butter, refuse both mashed potatoes and peas, like Mexican but HATE spicy food, you do not like anything too sweet, turkey makes you get headaches, you pop out the middle of your bread like a fricken' candy button, coffee makes you agitated, water is too bland, will only eat soup if milk is used instead of water, cooked vegetables make you sick and you can only eat them raw, hate fish because it smells, hate mushy tomatoes, no ketchup or mustard, will not eat anything if you do not know what is inside it"

"Oh yeah?" he nodded at her and continued to shovel what she gave him into his mouth, "Well at least I'm not a god damn garbage disposal"

"Name ONE food you like besides French fries and peanut butter crackers!"

"…I like chips too" he nodded with a raised finger, "Just saying."

"One-slice bitch" she giggled and gave him a big kiss on the top of his head, "but you eat what I make you."

"I don't exactly have much say in the matter"

"And you LIKE what I make you" her tongue poked between her teeth smugly and she went back to rubbing his shoulders, "I would like to meet the girl who will cater to your retarded habits. Did they do that shit in Arkham too?"

His eyes dropped and he shook his head while trying to chew.

"Then did you EAT?"

"No…"

"WHY…?"

"Wanna chew on rubber for a while? Probably tastes better than whatever the hell they were shoving down my throat"

"Did they let you keep the makeup" since he was going to reapply it in the morning anyway, she swiped a finger down his forehead and he shook his head. "What did they do to you there?"

"Let me rot" he shrugged; completely ignoring the tears in her eyes he let her kiss his forehead again, "I let them do it."

"Why?" her head shook frantically and her hands dug into his vest.

"I happen to be one of the fortunate who have absolutely nothing driving me to get through to the next day other than the destruction of all civilized life"

"And you told them that in therapy…?"

"Why do you think I hooked the bimbo so fast?" he snorted before shaking his head and laughing at his own joke.

"Did you sleep with her in brainwash process?"

"Under heavy surveillance in a straitjacket in a padded cell, Miranda Marie?" he cocked his head with a smile, "Really?"

"It does sound like a late-night HBO porn plot, doesn't it?" she wrinkled her nose as she pondered and he gave her a kiss.

"Sorry…" he motioned to the scars around his mouth and licked his lips, "Oral fixation."

"I know" she nodded and kissed him longer, "I love you too, honey pie."

"Don't flatter me" he groaned, "please."

"I think you LIKE to draw attention to yourself" she nodded and kissed him as roughly as she could, "You always let your picture get taken and-"

"NO ONE hams the way you do, don't bullshit me"

"Because I am so CUTE!" she grinned and open-mouth kissed him, "Everybody loves me!"

"Heh, I wouldn't be so sure about that, my favorite little megalomaniac."

"YOU love me" she nodded surely and ran her fingers through his hair, "You just pretend you do not because you are scared"

"Wrong…" he sighed though she paid no heed.

"You are afraid that people will know ways to get to you and will use it to their advantage when-"

"Wrong again…" he breathed deeply through his nose before checking both ways to ensure that no one was listening, "it isn't anybody's business where I'm living or who I'm sleeping with…what DOES matter is limiting my big mouth so you and I keep our nice…business relationship"

"With Harleen because you know if she finds out she will eat our heads"

He nodded before tangling a hand in her hair, "Imagine Bat-breath?" he threw his head back and shook it laughing, "What HE would do to you?"

"He would not do shit" she shook her head with a frown, "he cannot do shit to me, he cannot KILL remember?"

"I can break him if I work at it long enough"

"And how would you do that?" she shrugged, "Find out who he really is and make him go crazy?"

Laughing like nothing she'd heard from him in a while he leaned in and gave her a big old kiss while dragging her towards the stairs by her wrist, "I knew I may have possibly sort of thought I loved you."

"You're SUCH a charmer" her head shook with a bit of a sassy eye roll, "Wouldn't Mommy be proud…?"

"Mommy…" he turned to her and shook his head quickly.

"I miss her" she frowned before turning the handle and entering the room with the Joker, pulling her clothes off and searching for the Minx romper which was usually stashed underneath her bed or something…wherever she felt like discarding and kicking to hide from everyone.

"Where the hell is that thing?" he dropped to his hands and knees WAY too enthusiastically and noticed she still wore his jacket, "Oh yeah! Wear THAT while you're luring in Bat-breath! That's BOUND to get his attention!"

"Fuck you I LIKE it" she snuggled deeper into the fabric even though it smelled terrible, "And while you are with me and naked half the time can I PLEASE wash your clothes?"

"YOU can't do laundry!" he scoffed before ripping the little black romper out and chucking it at her, "That's all I need…my favorite suit becoming a thousand sizes too small"

"I HAVE other clothes for you…" she reminded him a bit dully before stripping and running her fingers through his hair; proceeding to throw on the Minx romper and fix her makeup in the mirror, "I sleep in your shirts a lot"

He pulled open her closet to find none other than a ton of men's clothing that had obviously been accumulated over a long period of time, "Very nice…you properly stalk me."

"I love you and my maids wash your clothes"

"Adding to my point that you're an infant when it comes to housework, hell," he motioned down the hallway, "the retarded one could get more done than you"

"She is Autistic and if I have to correct you again you will find my claws where you do not want them"

"Oh no, Kitten" he shook his head and pressed down on her palm so her nails came out and he brought one of the claws to his eye, "do your absolute worst."

"No" she yanked her hand back and shook her head, reluctantly handing him back his jacket and watching him put it on, "Are you coming with me?"

"Do I really have a PURPOSE being here outside of your furry ass?"

The glare she delivered was masterfully searing.

"I uhh…" he mashed his teeth and backed out of the argument before she had a chance to explode, "left my" he laughed sheepishly and held up his bare hand, "glove…down-stairs…yeah."

She shook her head with a scowl as he left the room and most likely wasn't going to return if he knew what was good for him.

...

The moment her mother left with the Joker, Amber immediately sprang down the long hallways into Mindy's bedroom where she snagged her mother and father's wedding picture off the vanity and stumbled towards her Macbook. She flipped up the screen to her baby pink laptop and immediately brought up Google, typing in 'Joker' and pressing enter.

The pictures which came up were awfully frightening at first, but once Amber flipped on one of her lights and tucked the lengthy blonde hair behind her ear she was able to get a closeup on the man's face, so she double-clicked it and furrowed her brow at those features.

Her attention switched to the wedding picture of her mother and father when they were eighteen, and the very moment she did she imagined that red, white, and black makeup caked all over his face unevenly along with the unruly dyed-green hair.

"No…" her head shook at first before looking back to the picture on the internet, deciding to dig in her drawers to find a later one. A particular shot of them both at five-years-old made her lips quiver and if she was alive at the time she'd know it was taken by Jack's mother. Mindy wore a long white dress with a headband of sorts in her brown hair while blonde Jack also wore a little suit for church. Sitting together on the grass outside the building during the part where they took the children outside, one of Mindy's hands was on his shoulder and the other on his vest as she leaned up and they kissed. It could have been framed and sold around the world as a Hallmark card it was so ageless and beautiful.

"Ho-ly SHIT…!" Amber's big blue eyes got twice as wide when the wrong connections were drawn between the two men and down the hallway she went, leaving both the pictures down on her bed and webpage open before careening into her mother's room and into the drawers which were closest to her bed, discovering all sorts of papers but not the ones she was looking for.

File after file was slapped to the bed when finally she found what she was looking for…her and her siblings' birth certificates. Each and every name listed read their first and middle names with 'Napier' ending each of them, and she already knew that Daddy's last name was Napier. Digging deeper and deeper in she discovered a certificate of death for none other than Jack Andrew Napier on January 22nd 2001 at nineteen years old, yet that made absolutely no sense. Amber was born on December 3rd, 2004. Something wasn't right and someone was lying. Staring at the birth certificates again, on every single one of them Miranda Marie Napier (nee Stratigias) was listed as the mother and Jack Napier as the father…yet Jack Napier was dead. How could he father five children when he's dead? She did grow up her entire life knowing her father was dead, yet her sisters and brother all looked like clones of the other.

Swallowing hard, the six-year-old pulled up her father's death certificate again…and there was no body found or funeral service. Her mother was very very famous at the time of his death; she could have afforded a funeral so something was wrong. There was also no real cause of death listed at all; something was just so totally wrong it wasn't even funny.

She settled for watching a homemade wedding video her mother and father shot on their wedding night since they didn't have enough money for a reception or anything like that.

Daddy's hair looked like the Joker's only it was very Swede-blonde and clean, his face had no scars but their bodies were the same. He played around with the camera a lot as did the Joker in the video she was watching on her computer of when the Joker kidnapped the man and dressed him up as Batman before killing him. Daddy also kissed Mommy the way the Joker did, their styles of going in for the kill with her were very familiar. Once Mommy zoomed in on Daddy smiling at the camera and giggled loudly, Amber paused it and looked back to her Macbook where she paused the news report of the Joker laughing on camera. The face, the nose, the eyes, the dimples (minus the Joker's scars and makeup), the hair…her stomach dropped and she just stared at the screens in utter disbelief.

Daddy wasn't dead; he was the Joker.

* * *

_"They, looking back, all the eastern side beheld  
Of Paradise, so late their happy seat,  
Waved over by that flaming brand, the gate  
With dreadful faces thronged and fiery arms:  
Some natural tears they dropped, but wiped them soon;  
The world was all before them, where to choose  
Their place of rest, and Providence their guide;  
They, hand in hand, with wandering steps and slow,  
Through Eden took their solitary way."  
— __John Milton__, __Paradise Lost_


	21. Chapter 21: Blind

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

Gordon had case files of both the Joker and Minx right next to each other, closely studying any form of correlation between the two. No alias, no prints, no nothing. As far as common society was concerned neither of those two actually existed. A knock caught his attention and then respectfully the door was opened a moment later, none other than Trish poking her head in looking quite worse-for-wear.

"Commissioner…?" the very way she said that made his stomach turn.

"What is it, Fisico?" Gordon prompted gently when her lips curled and a finger rose towards the window.

"Did you call the Batman?"

Gordon frowned when his attention went to the window, "I want men on the roof right now!" he shouted at anyone within range, Trish already whipping her gun out and following close alongside him as he quickly dragged as many men as he could to the roof.

…

Upon kicking open the door all was quiet…too quiet. A cold sweat trickled down the back of Gordon's neck as they slowly stepped onward to see that the Bat-signal was high in the sky with no one manning it.

With a hard swallow Gordon motioned the officers behind him to spread out and quickly they did so, nervously aiming their guns.

"It's empty!" an officer on the end shouted to Gordon, who just stared around him because something wasn't right.

The signal went dark by an unknown hand, leaving all of their breaths hanging in the air as snipers aimed towards the sky…a black swoop.

CRASH!

Literally smashing right through the Bat-signal out of NOWHERE and sending glass flying was the Joker with his hand wrapped over a struggling person's mouth.

"Not so HARD, Jesus son of a Christ!" Minx hissed at him to cut it out but of course, being the irritating theatric that he was, the Joker looked Gordon directly in the eye and feigned a smile.

"Don't you take another step!" Gordon pointed his gun directly at the Joker's head, "I'll blow your head off!"

"Uh-uh-uh!" the Joker shook his head and revealed that he had a knife held up to Minx's mouth, making everyone suddenly up in arms and Minx secretly had her claws dug into his hip to let him know he was hurting her.

The issue when in full-Joker mode he was really hard to coax out of the act. She knew he had it all planned out as he went, but still it made her nervous. She didn't care so much about getting shot because the morons weren't aiming for her, but she knew that he didn't give a damn about his own body anymore. He wouldn't care if they did kill him, but SHE cared if they killed him.

"Take another step, I DARE you!" he nodded at them all, "SHE" he nodded while moving Minx's hood back a bit so they could see he had the knife to her mouth, "dares you to! After all it's only her life, right? The life…" he sighed and started petting the top of her hood like she was a kitten, "of a mass murderer who kills poor, innocent civilians with these" he lifted her hand and pressed down on the top and palm so her claws extended, "right here…" he nodded, "they're sharp."

"FUCK" Minx hissed and actually started to cry in fear for the corner of her mouth because she honestly didn't know if whether or not he was going to do it. Her gut told her he'd sooner cut up his own face as demonstrated, but who honestly knew him anymore? "Please please please do not-"

"Sssssshush shush shush shush shush" he shook his head while petting her hood harder, which either was his way of being reassuring or making her shut up so he could hear whatever the cops yelled at him, "I'll kill her! I'll do it!" a grin suddenly spread across his face, "Or MAYBE I'll let YOU good people decide"

"JACK!" she growled though it was completely unintelligible to everyone except the Joker.

"You try to kill me, I'll cut her throat before your little bullets even reach me" he nodded while continuing to pet her, "Or you can uh…" he laughed bitterly and waved a hand, "climb on down to our level and blow her away. She's a killer" he nodded while pointing at her head, "cold-blooded"

"Honey…" she frowned and actually began to panic until his fingers lightly brushed the back of her bare leg and he continued shushing her before licking his lips and shouting at the officers.

"Take your pick, ladies and gentlemen!"

"Put her DOWN, you hear me?" Gordon shouted at him, "Just…don't do anything rash, just drop her...!"

That made a wicked old grin form across the Joker's face and he did drop her alright. He dropped her so her mouth would go straight through the blade when it was made to be like she caught herself…really he was holding the tail.

"NO NO NO NO NO NO!" the cops all began to panic as Minx seemed to try and bring herself up from the knife but the Joker was pulling her up by the tail and hooking his fingers under the fabric to keep her standing upright.

"Fuck I fucking hate you" she muttered to him in a pant when a deep raspy voice caught their attention.

"You don't want to hurt her, Joker!"

"Ahhh the Bat of the hour!" the Joker grinned and slicked his hair down with the blade of his knife, keeping the other arm over Minx's waist so she couldn't go anywhere, "it's been a while, Bat-breath!"

"Not long enough" Batman went to take a step forwards when the knife was brought right back up to Minx's mouth and she shivered.

"Uhhp-ep-ep-ep!" he pointed to the blade in his hand and shook his head, "You make one more move towards me you're accomplice to murder" he nodded, "because I would have told you not to do it since I have every intention of cutting her right now and you would have deliberately disobeyed me"

"Enough with the mind games, Joker!" Batman snarled, "Let her go!"

"Uh" the Joker held up a finger and smirked, "Actually" he nodded for a moment before hugging her with the single arm, "Kitten is a lot safer up here with me than down there with all of you…"

Batman froze, and as if on cue men in clown masks leapt onto the roof and fired away with machine guns like crazy even though half the cops were in bulletproof vests. Gordon had taken Trish and covered her body with his while Batman took the bullets like a champ and reached for the Joker. A knife popped from the Joker's shoe and he nailed Batman right in the hand, making Minx scream and Batman tried to cradle the hand but grabbed Minx first.

"FUCK gross you're bleeding!" she yelped while fiddling with Batman's right hand but he brought it forwards to grab the Joker, who suddenly began laughing up a storm as Minx snagged Batman's grapple hook from his belt and tossed it to the Joker, "Catch!" she gave him a nod and he stared at it with a furrowed brow for a moment when a bomb went off from inside the searchlight used for the Bat-signal, making everyone yelp and duck for cover.

Batman immediately lunged for Minx and shielded her underneath his flame-proof cape.

"STAY LOW!" he shouted at her quickly, Minx unable to see how the Joker shot the grapple hook onto a low-flying chopper and went right up into the air, freaking the men out on board as he climbed right in and literally shoved people out of the way.

"Excuse me" off one went, "pardon me" another one went right overboard, "I wanna drive! I wanna drive! It's my turn!"

Taking control of the Gotham news helicopter, the Joker (who had absolutely zero piloting skills), drove off into the night.

On the roof Gordon panted and ran a hand through his hair while staring at the display around him. Cops were dead, the roof was blown in, the Bat-signal was demolished, Trish was under him, and Minx was lying on her back panting like crazy at Batman reaching up and placing a hand to his chin before swallowing.

"Is she alright?" Gordon shouted while helping Trish to her feet and glancing about, Minx having no choice but to try to fly away, but Batman grabbed her tail.

"You owe me another grapple hook" he panted and shook his head, sighing and lowering her to her feet before surveying the damage.

"I think its safe t' say THAT guy's a god damn lunatic!" Trish shouted before recomposing herself and trying to step around the gaping hole in the roof and the bodies. Gordon ran a hand over his face at the carnage a few bullets and an exploding searchlight caused. That reminded Minx.

"HEY!" immediately she ripped out of Batman's grasp and swept down towards the Joker's men she knew were still hiding out, "HEY HEY HEY!"

Batman immediately turned and noticed the men were still hiding everywhere, ripping out a Batarang to chuck it at some of their hands and knock the weapons right out.

"GET DOWN!" he growled and immediately everyone (including Gordon) hit the deck.

"YO!" Minx flew over and directed away violently. They weren't fucking her and the Joker's plan which they really hadn't told anyone because they were making it up as usual. All Minx really knew was expose Batman to the Joker and not the world, because exposure to the world would mean that Batman would be forced to retire…and that wouldn't be very fun for the Joker, now would it? Of course not. Minx shoved them backwards and shook her head, "Boss says leave you LEAVE, got it?"

"Who put YOU in charge, Minxy?" one of them pointed a gun her way, Minx immediately curling her lips in irritation and turning the barrel away. Her mouth opened to speak (though it was impossible to tell under the hood) when another pointed the gun at her and snorted.

"Looks like we've got a new self-proclaimed leader"

"Keep that gun in my face and pretty soon you will draw back a stump" Minx hissed and extended her massive claws, her pupils becoming slits in anger and immediately they started backing off.

"Alright, alright Minxy…" the backed away and Minx watched with great zeal. She turned in Batman's direction to see he had about four of the henchmen arrested and she, much like the Joker, actually didn't care. She didn't give a damn who was caught unless it was her ass, then she'd fly on out of there because she didn't feel like a lifetime in prison. She had five kids…and the Joker knew that better than anyone so he gave her no shit when they were concerned. Whether he cared or not he cut her a break, which was all that mattered.

"Don't get your panties in a twist" another said when he was met by a headbutt and a full-force roundhouse kick to the head, the half-beast throwing her arms out in a defense mechanism to look bigger and hissing ferally. Her teeth barred and she floated a bit before ensuring they leave.

"Feel free to express yourselves at this time" she nodded to them all, "I thought so."

"Sure thing, Miss Kitty" one of the men in masks nodded before beginning to head off, "Though I wonder if you'd be singing a different tune if fucking the boss wasn't on your agenda"

Whatever part of Minx that was animal DNA completely unloaded all at once. The tiny creature literally launched herself like a rocket out of midair and pounced on the poor bastard, taking him down to the ground and ripping his jugular with her teeth.

"OH my god!" Trish shrieked and whipped her gun out in a panic as everyone saw nothing but blood spilling from Minx's mouth as she spat his windpipe back in his face and wiped her mouth with the back of her sleeve, panting wildly for a moment.

"FREEZE!"

The half-feline stood perfectly still, holding her hands in the air for a moment before sweeping off without a word further.

"HEY!" they shouted her way but she paid no heed.

…

Harley shifted her weight atop the roof of Gotham News while staring at a stopwatch when the sounds of a helicopter above her head caught her eyes and down the grapple hook slid the Joker, who landed right on his feet and threw his arms out next to her.

"TA-DAAA!" he held his arms out for a beat when the pilotless chopper spun out of control and the tail seared straight through the building next to them, exploding in mid-air and somersaulting across the road which made the Joker cringe and jump a foot in the air from fright. He momentarily forgot the rule of gravity in that what goes up must come down.

…

"Christ almighty, Miranda!" Bruce shook his head with a slight chuckle at how Mindy was practically facedown dead at her kitchen table the next morning, "What were YOU up to last night?"

She growled a moment and groaned dramatically, "Life."

Bruce had stopped by in the morning and was already trying to coax her out of the house to get her to come to breakfast with him somewhere. Mindy was like a man in that the key to her heart was literally through her stomach. Anyone that wined and dined her was hers, and Bruce was quick to figure that one out.

"Life…" Bruce chuckled before sitting in a chair next to her and gently petting her hair, giving her an affectionate kiss and lifting Scarlett as she walked by munching on what appeared to be a s'mores flavored poptart. "Must be pretty exciting to wipe you out like this"

"You have NO idea" she was wearing one of Bruce's Princeton University sweatshirts without a hood (which pissed her off greatly, she was a hoodrat) and a pair of ugly yellow sweatpants. She didn't give a fuck who saw her in the shank of the morning. If someone was stupid enough to come over for a viewing of the beast, that was their own problem. Her unstraightened raven hair was a bit frizzed out and waved all over the place so she looked like nothing but a clump of dyed-black hair and yellow sweatpants with her face buried in the table. "Did you ever just…?" she waved a hand around and shrugged, "Get the vibe that ya wanna rip someone's throat out with your teeth?"

Bruce's lips made a straight line from the memory of last night, but he decided to humor her anyway, "There's a few"

She nodded and sniffled extending both arms all the way out to stretch, trying with everything in her not to extend her claws when Bruce took a deep breath through his nose and played with Scarlett's long straight blonde hair.

"Did someone decide to piss you off?"

"Yeah"

He nodded along to that while trying not to laugh. She was such a fucking bitch and he loved every second of it.

"Anyone that I have to kill?" his fingers began to comb her hair lovingly and she shrugged, reaching back and squeezing his hand in hers because she kind of sort of was really in love with him. She didn't know. Every time she felt close to Bruce, whatshisface would swoop right back in and keep her away.

"PLEASE don't say that word after last night" Trish shook her head solemnly while heading into the kitchen, looking much colder than usual and Bruce knew why.

"Patricia" Bruce frowned and even Mindy knew why Trish was so chipper that morning, "things always could have been worse"

"Yeah" Mindy grabbed his hand and nodded, "You coulda died and I woulda hadda dig you up and kick your yoga-practicing ass."

"And I have no doubt in my mind that you would" Trish responded a bit sharply before shaking her head, "Did you hear ANYTHING about last night?"

"I'll fill her in" Bruce said with a hand over Mindy's shoulder, "Your sister's tired, I'll-"

"I don't know WHY" Trish spat when Amber came rushing into the kitchen with Thorn and the Serval scampering alongside.

"Bruce!" Thorn giggled loudly as Scarlett possessively hugged Bruce's neck, shaking her head as Thorn started jumping below him to pick her up.

"NO Thorn!" Scarlett shouted as Amber walked towards Mindy with a hairbrush and began to go through her tangled hair, "It's MY turn with Bruce, I had him first! You can't STEAL him, stupid!"

"Heyyyy!" came Mindy's growl from between her elbows as Amber brushed her hair and kissed her cheek, "Say SORRY!"

"Sorry Thorn…" Scarlett groaned when Bruce felt a strange rubbing against his leg, so he looked down and smiled weakly at the thirty-five pound African wildcat which was almost bigger than Thorn purring against his leg.

"When did you have your pills, Mommy?" Amber asked a bit sternly, not taking her mother's schizophrenic shit for an answer. She liked to do anything to skip her pills and then go batshit on everyone for imaginary monsters. "Mommy…" Amber tried sterner as Bruce lifted Thorn and turned his attention to her as Trish slammed things in anger around the kitchen.

"What's the matter, Pumpkin?" Bruce knelt in front of Amber and frowned. The six-year-old was in shock for a moment before taking a deep breath and sighing.

"Mommy didn't take her pills and you're going out…" she continued brushing Mindy's hair, "I can make her look pretty if you help me give her pills."

"And where does she keep them?" he asked kindly before placing the twins down (though Thorn made a point of swinging onto his back so he could give her a piggyback ride), which made Amber blow air past her lips and scurry into the kitchen.

"Here…" climbing up onto the black granite counter, Amber pulled an ivory cabinet open and placed the canisters down for him, "She takes three or four a day because she's sick. She also has to take her iron pill for anemia and birth control, oh!" she pulled out a packet and placed it down right next to the other medication, "And Emergen-C because Mommy gets sick too much. She's a very tiny person and gets sick too much."

"Alright then" Bruce nodded fondly and stood right next to her on the counter, "does she take them all with water?"

"Pfft!" Amber snorted, "You WISH, buddy!"

"Mommy likes MILKSHAKES!" Thorn nodded at him, "We have to make her MILKSHAKES with the BLENDER because THAT'S how she likes it!"

"Brat" he muttered towards Mindy when her middle finger shot up from the opposite side of the room. Amber observed the way he was looking at her for a moment before reaching out and petting his face.

"You really love Mommy, don't you?"

"Can you keep a secret?" he smiled gently and leaned close, sliding a hand through the long blonde hair.

"So why don't you tell her?" Amber frowned and watched Thorn bury her face into Bruce's neck almost to fall asleep as he tried to find a blender, "Bottom shelf on the left."

"Thank you" he kissed her hand politely before sighing, "I can't articulate in front of your mother."

"She's not as scary as you think" Amber shook her head and went to the fridge to pull out strawberries since Mindy loved strawberry milkshakes the best, "She's more scared than you are."

"Oh yeah?" he asked in surprise while gathering everything together and Amber nodded.

"Mommy likes to act all mean and tough but she's not" Amber smiled weakly and watched him pull out the fancy-ass blender, "She's an artist….she's really sensitive."

Bruce nodded while training his eyes away from his girlfriend for a moment, "Your mother had a hard life"

"She told you…" Amber nodded along to that for a moment while dropping the fresh strawberries into the blender, "that means Mommy loves you."

He frowned while cracking her pills in half and pouring them into the mixture they were concocting, and Amber of course was inclined to ask more.

"You know…" she sighed while lifting her big blue eyes to meet his dark ones, "if you wanna marry Mommy you have to be our daddy too, right?"

He stared at her with his hands around Thorn's calves to keep her on his back.

"You can't just love Mommy you gotta love US too" she nodded with a sniffle. Trish entered the room once more with a coffee mug and seemed to be eavesdropping.

"And why wouldn't I?" Bruce frowned and stroked her hair gently, "I mean" he shrugged, "I can't exactly say I'm GOOD with kids, but I'm trying for you guys."

"You're fine, Bruce" Amber nodded and hugged his arm, which made him lift it and pull her under, "You just can't leave us like my daddy did."

"What do you mean?" he frowned and noticed the wedding rings on Mindy's finger across the room, "I thought…?"

"My daddy died before I was born yet all of us are here…" her eyes narrowed and she shook her head with a scowl, "My daddy's not dead. He's just a LIAR!"

"Amber!" Trish gasped and jogged over with a shake of the head, "What the hell are you talkin' about?"

"My Daddy is ALIVE" she growled at Trish contemptuously and shook her head, "He is just an ASSHOLE and doesn't want to love us"

"I think you're wrong" Trish sighed and shook her head, "None of you have the same father, Mommy's husband died-"

"WRONG!" Amber denounced immediately, and if Mindy weren't in a schizophrenic funk she would have picked it up, "We ALL look alike! I SAW him…" she nodded and coughed, "I have Mommy and Daddy's wedding I do! That's OUR Daddy! He's alive!"

"Honey…" Trish ran a hand through her long chocolate hair and frowned, "he O.D.-ed long before you were even born; he's dead."

"No he's not" was all Amber said with a slow shake of the head, looking Bruce directly in the eye, "You believe me, don't you?"

"I…" he swallowed hard and nodded, "Of course I do"

"Bruce!" Trish whined as he began to prepare Mindy's milkshake, "Don't side with the kid, you don't even know her! Not like Meemy's awake to really vouch for any of this"

"Oh she's awake" Amber nodded at her aunt, "She's just being WEIRD and needs her PILLS!"

…

"So I decided that I hate life" Mindy nodded while squeezing Bruce's hand and heading into Wayne Tower with him.

"Any reason in particular?" he asked while pressing a thumb to a button, and a heavily dolled-up Mindy shrugged and yawned once again.

"I dunno" lolling her head on his strong arm lazily she darted her eyes about and yawned more, "Why do you work?"

"Well it only makes sense for me to get to know my own company" Bruce pulled her by the hand into the elevator with him.

"You are lucky…" was all that escaped her lips before she rocked back and forth on her toes as the elevator took off, "Joker was gonna blow this place up too."

"Oh…" now intrigued, he ran a hand through her hair lovingly and kissed below her ear, "and what prevented that?"

"I…" she slapped her hands to her sides and shrugged, "I dunno."

Completely unsatisfied with that answer he nodded along and wrapped an arm around her tight, "It's a very good thing he didn't. Gotham as we know it would have ended without Wayne Enterprises"

"Heh" she nodded along and hugged his arm tighter, "I hadda dream last night."

"What about?"

"I ate a carrot and threw up bright orange" she nodded at him with big eyes, "I get crazy dreams a lot."

Bruce, looking utterly horrified at the bluntness of that dream, nodded along with a queasy expression, "No kidding."

"I hate carrots" she nodded and made a gagging sound, "I get nightmares about them."

"But you eat anything; I've never met a woman who just houses things like you do"

"Because you never said the 'c' word"

"Pardon?" double-taking he leaned close, making her snicker and kiss his nose before nodding.

"Carrot. If you do not say it while the food is in front of me I will eat it because I will forget, but if you say 'carrot' I will go batshit and not eat it because you have reminded me of forbidden food." There was a silence where Bruce was obviously bottling up laughter when Mindy turned to him gravely and frowned, "I told you I was schizophrenic."

…

Pulling Mindy in by the hand, Bruce walked into Lucius Fox's office right past his secretary with the biggest grin on his face.

"Lucius" Bruce said to the old man at his desk while holding Mindy under an arm, and once Lucius looked up he gave him a nod automatically.

"Mr. Wayne" he went to shake his hand; suddenly freezing once those ice-blue orbs of Mindy's made contact with his, "Miss Stratigias" immediately he gave her a nod and stood from his chair to kiss her hand hello, "it's a pleasure, I've heard a lot about you."

"I'll bet" she hip-checked Bruce a bit before smiling thinly and glancing about the place in astonishment.

"Is…" her curiosity wasn't lost on Fox, "this your first time at Wayne?"

"Yes" she gave a quick nod and covered both her hands over Bruce's, to which he smiled fondly and led her closer to Lucius, who couldn't force his eyes to get away from hers. Something about them, that hue…it was all too familiar and naturally his eyes went down to her hands, which were clamped around Bruce's and were really too small to do anything significant with. As it was, Mindy was painfully short. She didn't even clear five feet, she was four-foot-ten without heels. There was another person Lucius knew was believed to be that small, with those eyes…

"How long have you been in Gotham, Miss Stratigias?" Lucius asked carefully and Mindy shrugged.

"Few weeks maybe?" she pouted her lips and nodded, "Yes, I believe that is correct."

"And what exactly brought you to the windy city?" he asked kindly and she shrugged before responding.

"I hadda concert and stuff and then I met Bonehead" she nodded while possessively hugging his arm, "and I do not wanna leave anymore."

Just by listening to her talk, Lucius knew the rockstar's level of education was beyond inadequate.

"I have paranoid schizophrenia" she announced even though Bruce hesitated the moment she did, "It makes me say weird stuff and talk weird. I take pills but they are not the best. My baby is Autistic because I have schizophrenia. Yes I know I don't talk right, English is not my first language, but I am not dumb I swear."

"And no one ever said you were…" Bruce shook his head while giving Lucius a bit of a cold glare, "so don't talk like that, alright?"

"I'm sorry if I ever came off as condescending, Miss Stratigias" he frowned and immediately corrected himself, "You just look very familiar, that's all."

He gave the couple a nod and dismissed himself immediately, too frustrated with Bruce to even deal with him at the moment. How he could ever be so blind was beyond Lucius.

* * *

_"Awake, arise or be for ever fall'n."  
— John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	22. Chapter 22: I'm Not Crazy

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

The very beginning operatic part of 'Whatever' by Our Lady Peace played in Mindy's little white Porsche Carerra GT as she (in the shortest, bustiest purple dress she could find) and Harley (red and black dress which was very similar) drove to enjoy themselves for a change.

"So wait," Harley pouted her lips covered in a deep maroon lipstick, "You only like the song for THIS part?"

"Mhmmm" Mindy nodded and waited for the guitar riff to come in before groaning, "And now I hate it."

"So that was what?" Harley shrugged and twirled her long curly blonde hair, "Ten seconds?"

"Fifteen," Mindy drummed her fingers on the wheel, "Rest of the damn song sucks shit."

"You do know how to fence things…" Harley checked her eyeliner in the mirror, "it must be kinda neat to be a prodigy"

"Meh" Mindy wrinkled her nose and shook her head, "I can never go to a concert of any kind…" she shook her head with wide eyes, "it is a nightmare because all I do is pick out flat notes and figure out the song's composition in one listen. It is maddening I cannot do it."

"So you've NEVER been to a concert…?" Harley's eyes widened in disbelief and Mindy shook her head. "How do you perform your own then?" she frowned when Mindy shrugged.

"I wear ear plugs."

"That's too funny" Harley leaned on the window and glanced about Mindy's white car, "Which one is this?"

"Natasha" a curt nod, "The yellow one is Bumblebee."

"So is that why you like that crap music so much?" Harley wrinkled her nose when Mindy turned her attention from the road and furrowed her brow.

"Rap?" she shrugged, "It ain't real music who the hell needs brainpower to listen to it."

"So what IS good to you?"

"Heh…" Mindy waited a moment before putting something on, "my fricken anthem." The very beginning of 'Party in the USA' by Miley Cyrus came on, yet…

_I was a terror since the public school era__  
__Bathroom passes, cuttin classes, squeezing asses__  
__Smoking blunts was a daily routine__  
__Since thirteen, a chubby nigga on the scene__  
__I used to have the tre` duce__  
__And the deuce deuce in my bubblegoose__  
__Now i got a mac in my knapsack__  
__Loungin' black, smoking sacks up in acts__  
__And sidekicks with my sidekicks rockin fly kicks__  
__Honeys want to chat__  
__But all we wanna know is "Where the party at?"_

"What is this?" Harley frowned when immediately Mindy swung into the quickened pace and loud beat in the background; barely even driving she was getting so into it.

"_Buggin' and barkin' at niggaz like i was duck huntin'! Dumbing out, just me and my crew! Cause all we wanna do is...And a Jay Z song was on! And a Jay Z song was on! So I put my hands up! They're playin' my song! The butterflies fly away! Noddin' my head like 'Yeah'! Movin' my hips like 'Yeah'! I got my hands up! They're playing my song! I know I'm gonna be okay! Yeah! It's a Party in the USA!__" _

Harley nodded along and just watched Mindy go, her eyes on the wedding rings on Mindy's finger as she drove about forty over the limit through the side streets.

"Sheesh, I didn't know you were so familiar with the area…!"

"My boyfriend showed me" she nodded while continuing to sing along and then groaned out of nowhere, "Bored…" she picked another one and jacked the volume, Harley practically jumping out of her seat at the unexpected heavy guitars blaring in her ears.

"And what the hell is THIS?"

"When I wanna kick someone's ass" she nodded and kept 'Trigger' by In Flames blasting as loud as she could, "Mother fuckers better not cut me off."

Harley giggled a bit before watching Mindy's fingers drum on the wheel as fast she could make them go and then frowned, which made Mindy frown too and lick her glossed lips quickly.

"What's up, Chiquita?"

"I don't remember what its like to have a favorite song…" she frowned and shrugged, hugging herself meekly which Mindy didn't like, "or a favorite movie…or-"

"I told you he brainwashed you" Mindy said stiffly while keeping her eyes dead on the road, "He knows more about psychology than YOU did. He used it to his advantage and fucked you with it."

"Oh yeah?" she sniffled and raised an eyebrow, "And what's YOUR story with him? Being that ya seem to know so much!"

"_Just scratch the surface…And you will find…Something to blame for a long lost time…" _Mindy knew damn well to keep her mouth shut and was completely sure he'd told no one.

"I watched him suffer for THREE MONTHS in Arkham until I couldn't take it and talked to the guy…and he just…" she frowned and ran a hand through her hair while taking a deep breath to keep back tears, "I don't know he…he seemed" she sniffled and Mindy lowered the volume significantly to touch her hand, "he seemed so SAD and ALONE and…there was just" she felt mascara beginning to trickle down her beige skin but paid no heed, "nothing left of him. He had nothing!"

"So you talked to him…" Mindy sighed, as if she already knew the outcome.

Harley sniffled and nodded, "Yeah…and he seemed so sweet and charming and funny-"

Mindy cringed, "Take away the sweet and charming"

"I think so" Harley nodded with a sniffle, "I think he's the best and he just…"

"COME ON, Harleen, you fucking diagnosed him!"

"He's…"

"He's a schizophrenic" Mindy concluded harshly, "JUST. LIKE. ME. Only HE has no medications so he just thinks what he wants and believes weird shit and believes his own lies because his own story is too difficult to talk about, COME ON HARLEEN! I called you when they caught him! I showed up and talked to you about it! I begged you not to tell anyone I visited him!"

"I…" Harley tried to think it over, but honestly couldn't remember. She couldn't remember anything before speaking privately with the Joker. "I can't remember…"

"Yes you can" Mindy nodded at her, "You were a fucking shrink! You were smart as fucking fuck and then HE made you what you are now"

"And I wouldn't trade it for a THING, Miss Kitty!" she shouted at Mindy when the raven-haired rockstar nodded with a tight jaw.

"You know why boys hate being so wordy with 'I love you' and all that shit?" she knew Harley wouldn't answer so she continued anyway, "If they really loved you they would rather SHOW they loved you instead of giving you false ideas. They will help you out, they will do things to make you happy, they will come to you, do things like save your life when a skyscraper is about to crush you and not expect a thank you. If a boy likes you they will get nervous around you and try really hard to impress you even if they are the biggest bonehead ever" her eyes dropped down to the bracelet Bruce gave her and she shrugged, "Harleen you GOTTA get with it! LISTEN to me for a fucking second when I say he does NOT love you he's tricking you! He is USING you please"

"Please" Harley rolled her eyes and sneered at Mindy, "I've seen the way you look at him…"

"Okay!" immediately her hands went up and she nodded, "I can-you're right! You are RIGHT, Harleen! Incredibly one-hundred percent right what the hell am I even talking about?"

"I don't know either" Harley shrugged though Mindy wanted to ram her face into the steering wheel.

…

"C'mon…" after parking a safe distance, Mindy grabbed a miffed Harley's hand and swung it a bit when Harley frowned like a child and stamped her foot.

"Why are we WALKIN', Miss Kitty?" Harley frowned though Mindy locked the car and hooked the keys to her pushup bra, "I thought we-"

"I happen to love my cars, thank you very much" Mindy blew the Porsche Carerra GT a kiss and squeezed Harley's hand in hers, "I like her to be in one piece."

"What's THAT supposed to mean?" Harley frowned though Mindy pulled her along without another word, attempting to walk in four-inch heels to make her a whopping five-two.

…

The volume at the club was maddening, and Mindy was so absorbed in scanning the area and getting Harley drunk she barely noticed the hand wrap around her mouth and slam her to a near wall. She opened her mouth to scream, but stopped the moment she felt the leather of the glove and the fabric of the jacket which touched her neck.

"Sssh sh sh!" quickly he pulled Mindy near a bathroom with his hand over her mouth, dragging her into the shadows so no one would point them out, "Hiii" he said a bit sheepishly as she kicked around to be let go, "Sh sh sssh! Are you gonna shut the hell up?"

Meekly she nodded so he let her go. She gagged there against the wall for a moment, holding her throat and breathing deeply through her nose before smacking his face, which only made him laugh and nod encouragingly at her.

"Do it again!" he responded quickly, a manic grin on his face when she rolled her eyes and shook her head with a sneer.

"You see him anywhere?"

"Yeah" he gave her a nod before searching around him with a furrowed brow, "Where's the harlot?"

"Are you sleeping with her?" she received a shake of the head and a finger to her lips.

"I said WHERE did you dispose her?"

"Somewhere" Mindy shrugged and motioned around them, "She's here in red and black you cannot miss her"

"And what about YOU?" he smirked while ogling her in the dark, "Are we bribing him with sexual favors?"

"More like control of the chemical plant I mean think about it this way" she shrugged and placed both her hands on his chest, "We take out Riley, we control the family, that gives us power over the Sabatino's and probably more too but then we get the plant and use it to store our shit and make new stuff, or MAYBE…" she cringed, "if you REALLY are out of places to stay"

"I always DID love your cooking!" he sifted her hair with his fingers, which only made her chuckle darkly and lift a leg around his waist, brushing her lips against his.

"You sycophantic little shit."

"Do you love me?" his gloved fingers stroked her throat and she could only pout her lips and frown.

"What?"

"Tell me you love me" he nodded at her when she took a good look at him and shook her head.

"Why?"

"Because I wanna hear it, how much is that?" he cocked his head and leaned close to her face, licking his lips quickly while staring.

"You already know" she weaved a hand in his hair and kissed him quickly, patting his chest before tugging at his coat, "Now take it off, I'm not goin' to Riley lookin' like a hooch."

"Bossy, aren't we now…?" he didn't remove the coat which only made her angry.

"Hey!"

"No! It's mine! Get your own!"

"I came for YOU, Nancy" she reminded him with a shake of the head which made him sigh and take a deep breath.

"Alright, alright" off the jacket went and he threw it at her so she could put it over the short dress, "put some clothes on next time and maybe we wouldn't have this issue"

"YOU try gettin' into a place like this without lookin' like a goumada" she nodded at him and buttoned all the buttons in the front, but realized her face was exposed.

"Need a little paint?" he reached into one of the jacket pockets which was now on her, and immediately she nodded.

"Can I get raccoon eyes too?" her tongue poked between her teeth and he nodded, quickly grabbing the little container of white and beginning to smear it on her face.

"As if you weren't pale enough…" he licked his lips and sighed with a shake of the head, removing his gloves and she took them from him so they didn't get covered like his fingers did. She nodded along too for a moment before wrinkling her nose angrily. "Shush sh sh…" he shook his head while smearing whatever he could, "it goes EASIER" he shook his head for a moment and did his version of lip-pouting, "if you'd stop talking."

Her lips curled coquettishly and she nodded, "Sorry"

"Don't be…" he made sure he unevenly caked the white everywhere and actually moved back so he could get a good laugh at her, "You should see yourself RIGHT about now!" he nodded despite her narrowed eyes, "You never looked so dead in your life"

"Bite me" she shot him the finger, and he did, "OW! FUCK!"

"Be careful what you wish for" he sighed before putting the white away and pulling the black out next to give her the raccoon treatment, "Look up"

"Easy for YOU t' say, ceiling eyes!" she started giggling again when he literally used his thumb to paint under her eyes.

"Ceiling eyes?"

"Mhm"

He cocked his head and stopped painting her for a moment, "You think I have CEILING eyes?"

"Yes"

"As in a disconcerting, blank stare that makes it seem like I'm staring at some vague spot up on the ceiling…?"

"Mhmmm" she leaned forwards and chuckled as he gave her that miffed, disbelieving look, "But I like your eyes so it doesn't matter"

He wrinkled his nose and licked his lips before shaking his head, "Keep your eyes" he tilted her head so it lolled against the wall, "BACK."

"Okie" she sighed until the tips of his calloused fingers bluntly ran over her lids, all up in the creases, and through her medium-toned eyebrows, "what now?"

"NOW…" he exhaled and licked his lips before pulling out a red paint-like substance, "let's put a SMILE on-"

"NO!" out of nowhere she shrieked and hit her head on the brick wall, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!"

"I'm sorry" he paused and frowned at her, "was it something I SAID? Or…?" after staring confusedly as she covered her mouth and shriveled into a ball he got it, "Ohhh sh sh sh sh sh" he shook his head and held her chin, smudging the white makeup, "Hold still I'm not gonna cut you."

The fact that she truly had no faith in that was written across her made-up face.

"Hey! Fish lips!" he shouted until he got her irritated glare on him, "Open your mouth a bit…" her mouth dropped slightly and he held her chin, nodding and preparing what looked like a block of lipstick, "Good girl…" he started coating her collagen-plumped lips and spreading outwards in a very familiar spot that was making her twitch out, "Sh sh sh!"

She swallowed hard, nodded, and let him apply the makeup before taking the opportunity to lean in and plant a big kiss on his lips. He pushed her back quickly because he didn't want to be caught in public, but of course that made her as a woman heavily skeptic about something else.

"You ARE with her, aren't you?"

"Honey…" he cringed and screwed his face up so he wouldn't punch the wall this was so irrelevant, "can we PLEASE just-"

"Are you fucking her or not?"

"I REALLY hate being interrupted, you know"

"Answer me" was all she said and he sighed heavily.

"What part of…" he started twirling her hair and playing with his fingers on the bridge of her nose, "USING do you not seem to understand"

"Like SEX using? Or-"

"Why?" he shrugged and twitched a bit, "What's the POINT?" the look she gave made him groan like a bear and slam a palm to the wall before blowing air past his lips and shaking his head.

"No?"

He shook his head.

"Are you LYING?"

He shook his head.

"You NEVER slept with her?"

He mouthed, "No" and she floated about a foot up to kiss him again but he backed a step.

"So you are using her love for you to do your bidding?" her eyes got big.

"Like a metro card" his smile got bigger as Mindy's eyes glowed to prepare to be Minx and her leg lifted to press against him.

"You're the meanest man I have ever met besides Daddy"

"Yours or mine?" he asked a bit sharply, and she simply shrugged.

"Interchangeable, don't ya think?"

He went silent and eyeballed her in his jacket before completely turning down the sexual advance and dragging her around by the wrist towards the stairs to bring them to the second floor of the club. It was amazing how many people completely ignored the freaks in the purple with heavy makeup moving up the stairs one after the other.

Harley on the other hand, felt completely lost without the little feline somewhere near her, almost frightened of strange men grinding up on her because she was drunk. She was completely plastered and she knew Mindy drank like a fish too; the both of them were complete drunken messes when they wanted to be and Mindy was out of her sight. She was alone, she was scared, and she wanted Mindy there to take her home but the tiny young woman was nowhere to be found. Shivering and terrified, Harley trembled and actually started calling out for her only friend in the world to receive no answer.

"Where is the Leprechaun?" Minx frowned while pulling on the Joker's tie since it was underneath the green vest, and he gave her a look to cut it out.

"Maybe…" he tilted his head and licked his lips for a moment before drumming his fingers frantically on the railing, "if you'd give me a damn second to think I'd PINPOINT him for ya, Miranda! JUST like you naggy whiny needy ornery little subspecies demands-"

"MUAH!" she gave him a big kiss before taking his hand despite the protests and heading up the stairs further, trying not to trip because of the length of the jacket on her. All of a sudden she squealed like a teenage girl.

"WHAT?" he nearly toppled over from fright when she sheepishly bounced on her toes while clapping her hands together.

"I LOVE this song!"

"Says the lily-white yuppie from Canada…"

Cinderella Man by Eminem was the object of her squealing. Mindy was actually trying to dance a bit in his jacket which simply wasn't working in her favor.

"You know…" realizing she was wearing men's clothing as they got to the top of the stairs she nudged him, "I think I'd like to see YOU in drag"

He gave her a scandalized glare before pushing her down the stairs.

…

Sean Riley oversaw the club which his men ran when he looked down at the table he was sitting at and saw a Joker card, which scared the life out of him. With a heavy gasp he glanced up to see the Joker with a seemingly changed Minx hanging on his arm like the little siren she was.

"Minxy?" he gasped in astonishment when the half-beast chirped one of her meows while extending her talon-like claws.

"Top of the morning, RILEY…" the Joker smirked before tilting his head at Riley sitting stiff in the chair and taking a step forwards, making Minx leave his arm to approach Riley from behind and trail her claws up his neck slowly.

"We've been lookin' ALL OVER for ya!" she nodded proudly while watching the Joker begin to circle the table like a vulture; leaning close to Riley's ear.

"Ya wanna know why I use a pencil?" he licked his lips a moment and frowned, "Because knives are too slow. You can't savor…" he waved his fingers around and twitched, "everyone else's reaction when you put it through an eye socket..."

Riley's blood was running cold and neither member of the duo cared.

"Ya see, in their last moments, people wanna be entertained..." he wasn't looking but if he was he would have seen Minx was crying she was trying so hard not to laugh, "Sooo in a way, I know what'll make your friends laugh better than you ever could!" he nodded before dropping his voice significantly, "Would you like to see a magic trick?"

"No no-"

As the Joker was talking, Minx had set up the pencil right below Riley's eye and WHAM!

"TA DA!" the Joker shouted before staring at the blank spot on the table; Riley was now on the floor, "It's GONE, Kitten!"

"I see" she nodded while running her fingers through his hair since he was so hunched over, "and what're we gonna do about him?"

"Hmph" he shrugged indifferently.

"Of course" Minx giggled and gave him a big kiss before grabbing his hand (which he violently protested against) and dragging him down the stairs, "Now we go home?"

"With or without Harlot?"

"HARLEEN" she corrected with a roll of her eyes before glancing about in horror, "They are all going to see us, aren't they?"

As it was they were literally standing in the middle of a giant dance floor, and the Joker simply wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

"The funny thing about people is that unless told to be wary…" he glanced about and shook his head, "they really aren't."

"You read a lot of Freudian shit, don't you?" she pouted her lips while glancing about for Harley, "He was a crazy fucker too."

"He utilized COCAINE" he pinched the bridge of his nose before taking a deep breath and counting to ten before he forced her to leave with him.

"Look…" she knew he didn't want to wait so she sighed, "I'll let you drive if-"

"Deal!"

"Oh…" her eyes widened, "wow…okay…" she giggled and kissed his fingers, "I just hope she is not angry at me"

"For WHAT?" he shook his head when she shrugged and motioned towards him and her in both his jacket and makeup, "Oh who GIVES a damn, Kitten?"

"SHE will!" Minx hissed with a shake of the head, "She's fucking crazy, you know that shit!"

"Why?" he knew the root of her issue quicker than she did, "Did you tell her you were ditching her?"

"…no"

He just started cackling and with a dramatic roll of her eyes she shot him the finger.

"HARLEEN! HARLEEN!" Minx worriedly checked about when the red and black dress got her eyes from across the room. Thank Christ she looked beyond hosed.

Mindy didn't get it, she was so fucking pretty. Why she ever let the Joker do what he did to her was beyond anything. With that long blonde hair and light brown eyes she was absolutely gorgeous, plus the former shrink had a body to die for. Mindy didn't know how else to say the word, 'beautiful'. Beauty didn't matter though apparently to the Joker. Beauty was a bonus; masochists were his favorite because he could bully them all he wanted and manipulate the shit out of them. She was upset for Harley enough because she knew how she felt about him, but again, what she didn't know couldn't kill her.

"Chiquita banana get over here!" Minx quickly flew through the crowd but the Joker grabbed her arm and motioned for her to hand him the keys, "Oh are you SERIOUS?"

"Uhh" he glanced around him and nodded, "yeah."

"You put a DENT in Natasha and I will eat your bad joke-telling ass to a-"

"Be gone with you!" he waved her away and out he went, and the sick thing was she trusted him with one of her favorite things in the world.

"Harleen! Harleen!" in a pant, Minx managed to reach the dazed young woman and she frowned while eyeballing Minx and the makeup which covered her face.

"What?"

"C'mere, bubble" Minx sighed while landing and draping one of Harley's long arms around her broad shoulders, "let's go home and go to bed."

"Bed…" Harley nodded with a hiccup, "I like bed."

"Me too" Minx yawned and headed for the doors with Harley, "Me gusta dormir."

"What?"

"Forget it" Minx waved her off and shook her head with a dramatic sigh.

…

"Awww Harleen…" Mindy giggled upon standing above Harley's bed in her apartment with the Joker in hand after changing Harley, making sure to feed her a lifetime supply of chips and bread, and helping her into the bed.

"Alright, Mommy" came the irritated voice from behind her as hands moved around her hips quickly, "you've officially spoiled someone that you normally can't stand, let's GO"

"I like Harleen" Mindy nodded while quickly touching Harley's face and giving her a kiss to the forehead, "HARLEY is who I wanna beat with a brick"

"Check" he said a bit bluntly before turning to leave, ignoring how Mindy's jaw dropped and she gasped at him.

"Excuse me?"

"I have no place here"

"But for brainwashing her?" she raised an eyebrow and nodded, "Oh you got plenty a' reasons to be here. After all if not for YOU she'd be-"

"THAT" he said in reference to Harley, "was my golden ticket out of Arkham, alright sweetheart? And in return…"

"You know…" she narrowed her eyes and shook her head, hugging his coat tighter around herself and frowning, "all this bashing makes me wonder if you talked about ME this way to her"

"I" he paused to look her in the eye and say calmly, "I didn't. I. Didn't."

"Oh?"

"She didn't know your NAME until I sent her to Manhattan to…" he exhaled and waved a hand, "entice you…"

"Well obvi she don't know my REAL name or she would not be so eager to come get me back, you crazy freaking hoser!"

"I'm not crazy" he reminded her with a serious look and a frown, "No. I'm no-t."

Though she knew it was the schizophrenia talking, she had it too and couldn't help but curl her lips and shake her head apologetically.

"I know…" her voice dipped and she nodded at him, "I am sorry, I didn't mean it, please"

He just nodded and left the room, making her scream into one of Harley's throw pillows before bolting after him in the direction of Harley's front door and grabbing his arm to make him turn around and face her.

"Hey!" she floated above the ground so both her hands pressed a side of his face, "I did not mean that, alright? You know I-"

He just nodded a bit somberly and seemed to shake it off but she didn't want him to.

"Are you listening to me?" she frowned and shook her head drearily, "What I did was WRONG, alright? I was WRONG I knew better"

"C'mere…" he beckoned even though she hesitated, so he internally groaned and beckoned a bit more violently, "Kitten…"

Tentatively she edged closer and nodded with a hard swallow, scoffing the ground with her foot and licking her lips nervously. The makeup had been washed off her face but the coat was still on her and buttoned up all the way.

"Oh I'm sorry," since she didn't come over fast enough he frowned, "Is it the scars?" his knife came out of his pocket and he grabbed her by the back of the head, "Want to know how I got them? I smile for YOU, Kitten!"

"I love you" she nodded sadly to try and get him out of the schizophrenic funk he was slipping into, "I love you, I love you, I LOVE you, I love you!"

Before he could react she was kissing him deeply, stroking the hollow of his throat with her fingers and repeating to the point of nausea.

"I don't CARE about the scars, okay?" she shook her head and took his hand fondly, "I'ma put you on Seroquel maybe it'll do somethin' for ya."

"Why?" he frowned and cocked his head while following her out, "That's an anti-psychotic…" his head shook violently and he began to breathe harder, "I'm not crazy. No. I'm. Not."

"You're no crazier than I am" she backed him to the door and kept her legs around the front of his waist and her mouth over his, "I'll let you drive home, would you like that?"

He nodded.

"Okay" pulling the keys out of her bra, she gave them to him and kissed his fingers, "you let me help you Jack, please let me help you" she sniffled and kissed his throat before petting his face, "And tomorrow we'll scope shit at the plant and-"

He kissed her. He did. She'd take that over a thousand 'I love you's'.

* * *

_"Innocence, Once Lost, Can Never Be Regained. Darkness, Once Gazed Upon, Can Never Be Lost."  
—John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	23. Chapter 23: Squash Match

**A/N: Thank you :D!**

Harley woke up the next day with a splitting headache and in her own bed, which surprised her. Her only recollection of the night before was drinking and Mindy just disappearing. Rolling over and groaning she expected to find her eye makeup to be smeared all over the pillow, but no. Her face was washed clean and her hair was brushed, which wasn't what she remembered at all.

Running her hand through her long blonde hair, Harley sniffled and dragged herself into the kitchen to find an entire breakfast plate made for her along with the table set and a little flower in a glass sitting at the center.

Completely moved, her lips quivered and her head cocked to the side to see a little hand-written note in the middle which read, 'Chiquita banana, me so sorry. Call later. All my love, Miss Kitty'.

Even though it was Mindy who left it and not who she had hoped, a hand went over her mouth and she cried as hard as she possibly could because somebody gave a damn about her. It did make her sink to the floor with her back against the wall and call everything Mindy always said into consideration…was she truly looking out for her?

…

"Aunt Trisha…" Amber swallowed hard while brushing a pre-doped Mindy's hair the next morning.

Before medication Mindy was completely detached and aloof; just waiting for a trigger to set her off like a bat out of hell.

This was something Trish never really had to deal with back in the day because once they released Mindy from Borehamwood Mental Hospital in Toronto when she was fifteen, her longtime boyfriend had saved up enough money from working at a chemical plant with his father whom he hated to afford some of her meds. It didn't help the fact that outside of Jack and Trish she had absolutely zero friends and no grip on reality, but at least he was paying for the ones which would keep her violent episodes down.

She was institutionalized at twelve for poking her mother's eyes out with a pair of kitchen scissors, but saying that her mother deserved it was an understatement. No child had to go through what Mindy did especially one who was terribly mentally ill. The only reason Mindy was released in the first place was because her and Trish's now-deceased grandmother, with Jack's limited financial support, was granted custody of Mindy so she could return home as long as she had a conservator. Jack was that person once he turned eighteen and married her right away. He proposed marriage with an actual ring (his dead mother's since he was broke as hell) once she came home from Borehamwood, though he'd been visiting her there throughout promising he'd figure a way to save her.

His father, who made beating the living hell out of Jack and his mother sport, was beyond a recognizable level of furious. His only child devoted his entire life to a psychotic little murderer who couldn't even remember the English alphabet. She didn't speak one word until she was six, and only spoke in a mixture of Polish and Greek (since that was spoken at home) until Jack finally got her uttering English at eleven.

Everything with her was a constant uphill battle. When Mindy needed medicine and therapy and all that other fun shit, Jack practically killed himself to ensure she got it. He wasn't completely hardy either. He was sick quite often from being overworked, underfed, and exhausted…but that couldn't become an official obstacle; that was partially why his father hated him so terribly. Jack literally threw any life he could have had from the time he was a small child because he'd been bitten by the psychopathic little thing.

Now that he was dead Trish was trying not only to carry the schizophrenia baggage, but all the Jack nostalgia and constant longing that came from her twin. All Mindy ever really liked to talk about was her Jack, the only real memories she had that weren't fully repressed were of Jack, and the teeny little woman based her whole life around her darling Jack even though he was dead. His passing was probably the worst thing that ever could have happened, but to care for Mindy was something he really should have thought over instead of launching himself into the world of her medical bills.

"Yes, my love?" Trish turned and made sure Mindy wasn't paying attention; her eyes were all over the damn place as of old. Trish didn't know if Bruce honestly understood what he was in for with Mindy. The woman was a basket case.

Amber swallowed hard and sighed before continuing to gently run the brush through her mother's hair and check the straightener to make sure it was heating up. She had about an hour before she had to leave to go to first grade, and Mindy's medicated milkshake was just sitting on the vanity waiting to be consumed.

Amber's lengthy wavy blonde hair was pleated all down her back in a neat braid while her uniform was neatly tucked in and dry-cleaned since Mindy refused to let the maids actually put the baby's clothes in the laundry. Thorn and Scarlett were also running around in their uniforms while Tryg was just lounging around like the ornery little shit he was in pajamas. He went to preschool he didn't give a damn what he looked like and neither did Mindy. She let him go wearing a Spiderman costume frequently.

"Did…" Amber curled her plump lips in and tried not to cringe, "did you ever wonder why we were born after Daddy died?"

"Well" Trish had a bit of a lump in her throat and shrugged, sitting next to Mindy on the vanity to play with her hair, "you see-"

"If we had different daddies we would have their last name"

"Not necessarily…" Trish cringed when Amber sighed in agitation.

"How much did you really know about Daddy?"

"Uhh…" Trish frowned a bit and curled her plump lips, "well…Mommy met him in kindergarten, did she ever tell you that?"

"He shared her coloring book. I know." Amber tried to keep the topic on what she wanted it to be, "How old was Daddy when he went crazy?"

"What?" the very way that came off Trish's tongue let Amber know she was on a roll.

"You're a moron for never asking Mommy what really happened to Daddy. He didn't even have a funeral!" with that Amber stamped her foot and stormed right out of the room.

…

"She called you a WHAT?" Mindy gasped upon heading down the street alongside her twin towards the ground level of Gotham's MCU.

"A MORON" Trish rolled her eyes as Mindy checked below her to see Chelsea happily trotting alongside her fun-sized mother and aunt. She dragged the old black cat Mindy found in a ditch when she was seventeen named Fievel on a leash, and the feline really had no choice but to follow.

Chelsea loved animals; and despite Mindy's best efforts to somehow con her into taking Peking, Mallow Mars, or even Oxa…Chelsea wanted Fievel. Somehow Chelsea was obsessing over puppies lately which made Mindy a bit curious. Bruce had been hanging around her more often than not and it was making her suspicious to say the least. Even though she knew he wouldn't actually buy the puppy without asking her, she had a vibe that it was coming.

"Moron?" Mindy giggled while poking her tongue between her teeth, "That's so not Ambie…" she shook her head with a sigh, "Obsessive-compulsive BITCH is more like it when my children are concerned."

"I forgot they only learn from the best" Trish shot Mindy a glare and stopped in front of the police station with her, "And are you SURE you're alright?"

"Boyfriend is coming" Mindy nodded and whipped out her baby pink iPhone, "I miss him."

"Oh you poor thing" Trish rolled her eyes and gagged, "It's only been two hours."

"Too long" Mindy sighed while shaking her head and lifting both Chelsea and Fievel, "Send the Commish my regards"

"Please" Trish's chocolate eyes widened; she didn't even want to get into it, "all bets are on he fires everyone for letting the Joker make fireworks outta"

"Oh Trisha Anne" Mindy sighed while giving the side of Chelsea's head a kiss, "such a negative Nancy."

"Coming from someone who plays Ring around the Rosie with razor blades on her arms" Trish snipped a bit coldly at her schizophrenic twin before turning to head into the station, completely oblivious to the middle finger Mindy shot her.

"Bitch" she grumbled before shaking her head at Chelsea.

"Nuh uh" was all Chelsea said in reference to Trish and Mindy nodded along amiably.

"I think so too" Mindy kissed her, "now…Bonehead is supposed to take us to lunch, you think he'll do it booboo?"

"YES!" Chelsea squeezed Fievel tightly. Typically no restaurants allowed animals, but being that Bruce was actually encouraging Chelsea to bring Fievel he had to have bent some rules. Speaking of…the telltale Lamborghini pulled in front of the station and out came the billionaire playboy overzealous to find his girlfriend and her tiny daughter smiling at him.

"Ladies" he nodded at them both and immediately wrapped an arm around Mindy's neck to grab her hair and kiss her, but Chelsea was already reaching for his face so he nuzzled her close.

"Daddy!" she chirped fondly and Mindy turned about forty shades of red, completely mortified at her kid when Bruce smiled humbly and looked to Mindy, who shrugged and implied for him to roll with it. Not like the real father was going to step up anytime soon.

…

"So he worked in a place like this?" Harley asked in full costume while kicking a crowbar of some nature as she and Minx wandered about their newly acquired chemical plant that night.

"Mhm" Minx nodded while swallowing hard and floating around in a supine position, letting her hood fall off and her lengthy straightened raven hair fell almost to the floor, "but he'll never tell you that."

"Well why not?" Harley frowned and shook her head, "I was his shrink, I knew-"

"He tells the same stories but twists them up" she reminded her kindly, "you cannot believe anything he says because he likes to lie. He knows who he can lie to and who he cannot."

"Like WHO?" Harley asked a bit rudely.

Minx shrugged, "He can't lie to Bats. He's actually brutally honest with him."

"You know him, don't you?" Harley was obviously trying to get Minx to talk so she could go tweet everything back to the Joker like she always did…that wasn't appreciated by the half-beast to say the least. What the poor hopeless romantic didn't realize was that the Joker typically didn't anger towards Minx, and if he did he took it out on something else. Rarely to never did he put his hands on her, and the only time he ever did Minx was ninety-nine percent sure he didn't mean it to be that harsh. She was just so small and easy to brutalize.

"Who?" Minx frowned and shifted her weight, to which Harley waved a hand.

"B-man! I've seen you hanging all OVER him"

"Knock it off, Harleen. Don't even tell him that"

"But that's your JOB, isn't it?" Harley stroked Minx's ears like a kitten's, "Get close enough to the Bat where"

"The Caped Coconut is a hard man to reach" Minx rubbed her temples, "TRUST me."

"So?" Harley shrugged and grabbed the plunge zipper on Minx's romper, yanking it all the way down to the point that the half-beast hissed, "Do what you do best"

Minx flipped upright in the air and gasped at how Harley had pulled the zipper all the way down to her belly button, leaving her entire chest open and a grove of hickeys which rested on the icy pale flesh.

"Umm…" she giggled at the state of Minx's chest, "don't tell me"

"Bonehead" she wasn't lying actually.

Harley's eyes got big as Minx pulled the zipper up more, "So you ARE-"

"No" she shook her head and pointed a finger at Harley threateningly, "and don't you DARE tell bossman. He knows enough already"

"And he also happens to be my boyfriend, Miss Kitty!" Harley harshly poked Minx's chest and the half-beast had to bite her tongue until she drew blood.

"Of course…" she nodded and sighed, "and since we're so into MY sex life…what about you, Harleen?"

"I…" it died in her throat and Minx was dying to keep back the snigger. She knew Mister J's love life alright. Would she tell? Meh. Nah. She'd let Harley Quinn keep thinking whatever the hell she wanted if it made her happy. "I don't use him, alright?"

"He was an intern engineer at a plant when he was fifteen" Minx continued her narrative, "He shoulda been one for real if he went to college and stuff, but he did not and dropped out of high school."

"Yeah" Harley nodded a bit stiffly, "for that bitch who left him."

Minx's spine snapped in all sorts of ways and she had to clench her teeth.

"I heard she was a BIG gambler and ripped off mobsters to the point that they cut her face up"

"WRONG" was all Minx said sharply and obviously didn't want to hear another thing about it, "Please stop, we never had this conversation."

"Hmmph" Harley folded her arms across her ample chest and huffed, "YOU'RE no fun, Miss Kitty."

Minx sighed while slamming a clawed palm to a button and gradually opening the door and two long legs trailed up to the very man of the hour, "SHIT!"

Out of pure shock Minx's tail became a big bush and she panted, shaking her head in disbelief and flying about seven feet in the air above Harley.

"OH my!" Harley pulled a gun out of a holster on her leg and sighed, "Look what the BAT dragged in!"

Minx's teeth barred and she threw her clawed arms out horizontally as far as they'd go, hissing like a wild animal while flipping her hood back over her head so her eyes glowed.

A Batarang shot out of the darkness and clipped Harley's hand making her yelp and cradle it, giving Batman enough time to twist her wrist holding the gun and she shrieked in pain. She doubled over to have Minx suddenly grab her head between her ankles and flip in the air backwards, swinging Harley over her head until she landed flat on her back on the floor, flying into the air above Batman and giving him a nod.

"I told you it was here" Minx nodded and he actually hesitated before taking a step forwards to grab a hold of Harley. "Now what?"

"Stay back" was all he said to Minx, obviously smelling a rat but he stuck to his guns anyway concerning the volatile feline. The expression 'eyes in the back of my head' was sticking pretty well at the moment because he honestly could kind of get a sense of her location through sonar so he could easily tell where she was in relation to him.

"HEY!" Harley growled and tried to flip over, but Batman was already jamming a knee into her back.

"WHERE'S THE JOKER?" he grumbled at her and Minx couldn't help but float upside down out of boredom.

"I" Harley coughed and shook her head in fear, "I don't KNOW, alright? I DON'T! I don't know ANYTHING I-"

"Ha…ha…ha…ha…ha ha ha" that menacing voice taunted around the chemical plant, which automatically put Minx on-edge and she readied to grab the Caped Coconut and run before he did something he would soon regret.

Batman would have moved to step off Harley, but kept pinning her down.

"OW!" she shouted belligerently in his face, "DAMN, B-man! You keep cinder blocks in those knees?"

"Don't move!" Minx shook her head, "Don't move, don't breathe!"

Batman shot her a searing glare to keep quiet but she wouldn't because he was being a self-righteous bastard.

"YO! Batsy! You listenin' to me? Did I say there was CANDY in here? Get the FUCK out of here if you-WAHHH!"

An array of multicolored strobe light blasted in Batman's face out of nowhere and it just kept getting closer, and closer, and closer. Completely disoriented and blinded, Batman immediately tried to shield his eyes but the effect was too great. Not only was he beyond nauseous and plagued by a headache, but that laughter he loathed rang in his head and Batman tried to turn away when grabbed by Minx and dragged out of the plant by the arm despite his protests.

Shutting the light and waving at Batman, the Joker threw his head back and cackled, not even bothering to help Harley on the floor he was so proud of himself.

"Bye bye, Bat-breath!" he waved before flashing the light around more for sick enjoyment. He shut it off as Minx carried Batman away by the arm.

"HEY!" Harley pushed to her feet and brushed the dust off her, "Now what the hell was THAT? Did YOU see-"

"Good girl…" was all the madman muttered in Minx's direction before turning and taking his leave, poor Harley completely lost.

…

"Holy SHIT, Batman! You need to calm the FUCK down!" Minx panted after literally shoving Batman from her spot hovering three feet in the air outside of the plant, though naturally he didn't budge. Instead he grabbed her by the hair and ignored all the feline hissing and spitting while dragging her back into the plant. As he glanced about he noticed the place was deserted, which only put the half-beast in even hotter water and he practically ripped her hair out of her head.

"You said this was the place"

"And it is!" she nodded innocently in that high-pitched whine, "It is, it is, it IS Batsy!"

"No it isn't" narrowing his eyes he glanced about and knew the area was empty, so he dragged her by her hair to a crate and smashed her spine straight into it, making the feline yelp in pain and try to hold her back, "You sent me into a trap, it was a set-up"

"RELAX, Batsy!" she barred her teeth, trying to free her hair but he wouldn't let up, "If I REALLY wanted t' kill ya I woulda DONE IT already!"

"If you're working with him then where's Quinzel?"

Minx coughed a second before kneeing him in the gut with her short stubby leg and literally springing off his broad chest like a launching pad so she could fly back into the air.

"You PUTZ!" she threw her arms out angrily, "Quinn IS Quinzel! GOD! CHRIST! What more do you want?"

A long pause. Obviously she knew he was plotting something so immediately she sat on a yellow railing which guided a bunch of steps and she frowned.

"So what, Batsy? You gonna arrest me for helping you now?"

"I have no choice"

"Hey!" her pupils became slits so all he could really see was that icy blue, "I told you they killed Riley and took over this plant. I was RIGHT so I haven't lied about SHIT!"

"YOU knew his location!" he charged towards her when she gripped the railing with her claws, swooped her little body between the bars, and nailed him right in the stomach with her feet before slipping out and flying up, throwing her arms out dangerously so her claws were shown off.

"I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID! You think I got a BEEPER on him or something? He doesn't even have a cell phone! He doesn't have a NAME! He's just THERE you KNOW that!"

"How long have you known?" he was referring to Harleen Quinzel being Harley Quinn, and Minx could only sigh deeply.

"She tracked me in Manhattan, I'm sure you knew I came from there" the look he gave her let her know he was understanding, "Look…I can only help you as much as you LET me"

"What's in it for you?"

She snorted a bit while floating around the open space of the plant, slapping a hand to her nearly-exposed chest and batting her glowing cat eyes, "The goodness of my little heart."

"Since when?"

"Ugh!" she dropped her jaw though he couldn't see underneath the shadowed fur-trimmed hood, "Are you rejecting me?"

"I'm considering it" those dark eyes didn't move from her, so she decided to really push his buttons and throw her face into her hands to cry. He opened his mouth to say something, but just stopped because he didn't know what to do he was so taken aback. Never in any way did he insinuate anything for her.

Sniffling and making sure the hood covered her face, Minx threw her head back and cried harder, "And HERE I thought it was all goin' so WELL!"

Again he didn't move.

"Is THAT what you do?" she sobbed to the point that she felt retarded, "You just…chew people up and spit them out again? Oh no, I should have KNOWN!"

What he didn't realize was that as Minx put on her charade, a large bucket of lye sat behind her, and she grasped the handle and swung the whole bucket at him. Immediately he shielded himself with the cape, but that gave her enough time to snag a piece of sheet metal and swing down with it, smacking him in the head and hissing loudly as he grabbed for her tail.

"HAH!" she giggled manically and flew up towards a large pipeline, "Come on, Batsy!" she giggled as he tried to shake himself of the toxic chemical, "And I thought bats could FLY!"

Batman said nothing (because if he did she wouldn't like it) and whipped out his grapple hook, shooting it onto the pipe and up he went, sending his gauntlets out at her and she easily dodged them all. Though her strength was next to none, her speed was close to impossible to combat with. Being only four-foot-ten was such a heavy advantage she'd learned to work with and the added concept of flight made her simply impossible to really hit. She giggled louder as Batman balanced himself on the pipe and started for her.

"Come on…!" she beckoned while poking her tongue between her teeth, rocking from side to side on the balls of her feet quickly before dropping into a Russian split the moment he reached for her, swinging her right leg around to deck him until he grabbed the leg and hoisted the feline above his head. She released a loud meow and began to whine like a cat, struggling until she nailed him in the jaw with her leg and kicked out of his grasp a moment later, throwing her arms out and hissing loudly.

From the rafters the Joker observed the little spat between the two with Harley right behind him.

"Awwww come on, Batsy! That all you got?" she cocked her head and puffed her artificial chest out a bit more, just baiting him to charge again because she knew he would. Forward he stepped so she grabbed onto a beam and swung herself around, kicking him square in the chest and laughing like a mental patient as he staggered back a couple steps.

Deciding to even the odds a bit she lowered to her feet and strutted her way over towards the Caped Coconut, moving to slash at him with her claws when he swung a fist.

"WAHH!" immediately she ducked into an almost crouching position before swinging a leg all the way around for a big roundhouse kick to the chest. Being that her legs seemed to work she went to kick again, but he held the leg and she hopped for a second before he reached for the hood to rip it off. The feline shrieked and grabbed a nearby wheel used to control pressure to stop him. Obviously it was no match, so she snagged another bucket and he dropped her, making the chemicals fly and splatter all over the place.

The Joker's eyes narrowed a bit at the failed chemical bath, but he was proud of his favorite feline none the less. She was honestly holding her own and he liked that. Batman was no picnic, he knew that from experience.

Immediately she flew forwards and he started for her as well, making them collide and struggle for power to the point that both went right over the side. Down they fell about fifteen feet onto a giant tank of diesel fuel.

"OW!" Minx shrieked because he landed on her and that was it. She cried like nothing he'd heard come from her and upon sitting himself up, Batman realized he'd done enough. He was lucky her spine didn't snap after that fall. She could barely move she was crying so hard, and he couldn't possibly do anymore. He didn't have it in him. Out of respect he sat the half-beast up and immediately she yelped, crying and shaking her head. "Go away, GO AWAY!" she slashed at his face, in too much pain to even stand and he reluctantly did as told, "I don't need YOU! Get out of here! NOW!"

He gave her a last look before turning his back to leave. Minx's entire back was bruised from impact, and she flopped over the giant white round tank sobbing her brains out.


	24. Chapter 24: Don't Marry Him

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

With a sharp gasp and whimper Mindy twisted and shrieked at the top of her lungs once lowered into the bathtub of the cheap motel room; crying and moaning in pain as the icy water hit her pale skin like a kick to the guts.

The bathtub was literally filled to the brim with not water, but ice. She was lying naked in a block of ice, immobile because of her heavily damaged back along with severe pains in the back of her head.

Her mouth hung agape and she just kept yelping trying to climb out, but her body wouldn't listen. The ice had temporarily paralyzed her so all she could do was squeeze her eyes shut and leak tears out.

"Fuck fuck fuck me…" Mindy raised a hand just to watch how violently it rattled around in front of her face. With the shivering her limbs were just going out of control, and a bare right hand presented some form of blended drink to her lips.

"Rum, Coke, and Vicodin" the familiar voice told her flatly, and let her force it down, "I know you can't swallow pills."

She sniffled and tried to nod, but was in so much pain all she could do was swallow and drift her cat eyes with near-slit pupils up to the Joker. He ran a hand over her face quickly so the pupils rounded once more and she stopped looking like a bad science project. Watching her try to drink apathetically for a moment, he pulled the glass away and sighed.

"Well, well, well…what do we have here?" frowning he pulled her upright to see a bruise the size of Australia and he winced at the thought of obtaining something like that himself, "How the HELL do you manage that?"

Mindy shot a glare promising all kinds of death once she regained mobility but he ignored it as usual.

"On your back for Bat-breath too" his eyebrows rose and he shook his head disappointedly, "and here I thought I was special"

She slapped him HARD across the face with a shaking hand and he laughed. Even though she wanted to knock his teeth out she forced a weak smile. How could anyone stay mad at that?

…

An hour or so later, the Joker was seated on the bed biting his nails to pass the time when he received a firm smack to the wrist.

"Owwww!" craning his neck he noticed Mindy had finally managed to drag herself out of the bathroom, floating about six inches above the ground since she couldn't walk with the bruise on her back.

"Stop that" she tried to towel-dry her thick mane of hair but it wasn't working so she just let it go.

All she had to wear was the Minx romper so in lieu she had his coat on. He'd rolled the sleeves of his gray collared button-up which had a snakeskin pattern under a hexagonal pattern to his elbows; also keeping the green vest and patterned tie. His plum-black leather gloves were removed though he did keep the worn black lace-up shoes on his feet for some godforsaken reason.

"What are you, my mother?" he eyeballed her and pouted, craning his neck to bite his nails once more when his head was pulled so the side of his face was against the fabric of his jacket. She rubbed his upper arm for a moment before kissing the top of his head despite the greasy, oily hair. "Go away" he waved her off and lifted his thumb so he could position it between his teeth properly, "let me bite in peace."

"That is a bad habit" she slapped his hand again and he turned to face her once more with a lick to his lips.

"Do I look like a guy who gives a damn?"

"I give a damn" she nodded a bit absently and sniffled before forcing herself to sit on the bed next to him. Every move was agony.

Only the bathroom light glowed through a crack in the door and the curtains were drawn so no one could look inside. Mindy had just put his coat on before dragging herself to the front desk in the office, renting the room, and sneaking him in right afterwards.

"Why?" he almost dreaded asking.

"It is annoying as shit and I would like you to stop."

"I'd offer to do yours, but uhh…" he lifted one of her hands and pressed down so the claws extended all the way, "I left the hedge clipper back at the-"

WHACK!

His eyes got super big and he held both his hands up innocently, leaning back to the point that he almost fell off the bed.

"I do not appreciate your bratty sense of humor" she knew she was lying, he knew she was lying…there was no point of her even using it as a valid put-down.

"I'm sorry," no he wasn't, "I guess I'll just never talk again" he nodded and kept his eyes down a moment before licking his lips and looking to her, "does that mollify you, Miranda?"

"Why are you wearing this" her thumb ran over the caked white makeup smeared unevenly so some of his beige skin tone was exposed and shook her head in disapproval, "it's only ME here, who's gonna see you?"

"I like it" he responded coldly though she didn't remove the hand from his face. His 'ceiling' (as Mindy put it) eyes drifted towards the ratty curtains which were drawn shut.

"I don't"

"I don't care"

"It's not you" she knew she'd pushed a badass fucking button with that statement but didn't care. He wouldn't hit her, he'd never hit her.

He twitched for a moment and twiddled his thumbs as his head bowed; seemingly rocking back and forth a bit while contemplating, and he came back at her with a lick of his lips and more twitching.

"I…" he paused a moment and shook his head with a dropped jaw, "I no longer exist, Kitten! I don't know WHAT you want from me anymore"

"You exist to me" she shrugged and hugged his arm tightly, "you and all your…" her brow furrowed and her lips pouted, "licky…smacky noises."

He did manage to smirk a bit and nod along to that, "By licky-smacky noises you mean these?"

He licked his lips and smacked them together a bit and she began giggling like mad, nodding like a small child, and developing that lovesick puppy glaze over her eyes.

"Wanna know why I do them?"

She nodded intently, those gigantic eyes rounder than tennis balls.

"See…" he exhaled and waved a hand around as he drummed up his story, "gimmie your hand…"

She did as such, though the moment he took her right hand in his, he checked all over to make sure her claws weren't extended before placing them on his mouth.

"You need chapstick" she frowned as her teensy fingers grazed over his unbelievably dry and chapped lips along with the heavy scars which made up his Chelsea grin.

"I drool, see?" lo and behold once he stopped licking his lips and just spoke normally; traces of spit began to form and drip in the corners of his mouth, "I don't like it, it's uncomfortable."

"I do not care if you drool" she wrinkled her nose and shrugged, keeping her fingers to his lips and frowning at how horribly disfigured his face was, "the makeup is not helping your case."

"I like it though"

"But you do not like to drool" she frowned, "so it is silly of you to-"

"You know…" he licked his lips to rid himself of the spit and shook his head at her subtly, "I was starting to become really proud of you using contractions for a while"

"I love you" her head dropped to his arm and her hand moved from his face to his tie just to clench it, "that does not have contractions in it."

"But that last sentence did" he nodded at her with a pout, "Work with me, Miranda…" he waved a hand and mouthed obnoxiously, "DOESN'T…"

"Is that your only outfit?" she frowned and shook her head at how worn-in that suit was.

He looked himself over and nodded, "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"Do you ever wash it?"

"No."

Her tongue stuck all the way out of her mouth and she grimaced, "Ewwwwww! Piglet! I must be numb to your stink by now!"

"Beats me" he shrugged and noticed her head hadn't moved from his bicep, "you women must be a magnet to it"

"Harleen is brainwashed she does not count"

"And you're a paranoid schizophrenic with absolutely zero grip on reality."

"So are you" her little arms hugged his and she felt his breathing get harsher. She knew he didn't like being called out for it because not even Dr. Harleen Quinzel officially diagnosed him, though suffering from the same illness she was able to tell exactly what was going on in his brain. "You just do not get help for it."

"And WHY BOTHER?" he barked though she didn't stop hugging his arm, "Huh? Why fucking bother with it now? There's NOTHING for me"

"Is that you or Daddy talking?" she asked a tad bitterly and he froze, curling his lips in anger before twitching and licking them.

"You know you…" he cocked his head and breathed harshly through his teeth, "You REALLY don't know when to stop nagging."

"I am a girl" she kissed his fingers, "it is my job."

"Yeah?" he huffed before wrinkling his nose and scowling, "Well now you're fired."

"Fired?" she placed a hand to her breast plate, "You cannot FIRE me from being a girl!"

"No…" he sighed before raising his eyebrows and licking his lips, "but I can fire you for letting Bat-breath imprint Australia on your spine"

"FUCK you and this FUCKING Australia bullshit! You are FROM Australia! You TALK like you are from Australia"

"No. I don't."

"FUCK you! I am the girl! YOU are the stupid boy shut up-"

"Oh, that's right…" he nodded until his voice trailed off, "I forgot that being female gives you all superiority over me even though nine out of ten times I kick your ass in trivia"

Grinning she pushed up and whispered huskily into his ear, "And it is the one time I beat you that always makes you wanna play me again…"

Frowning majorly he narrowed his eyes, "…I don't like you."

After pulling his shoes and box-patterned socks of purple, crème, and green off, he fidgeted back on the bed until he was almost entirely reclined except for his head, which rested on the wooden headboard. He exhaled heavily and folded his arms across his chest when Mindy allowed her head to drop a bit to the side. She army-dragged herself over so one arm wrapped right around his chest, and her head nestled into the crook of his neck.

"You're welcome, by the way" he said while keeping his eyes up to the plastered ceiling, "I mean, I only took time out of my day to" he licked his lips, "gather more ice from that damn machine than I ever want to see again and drop them all in a bathtub without you asking for it…you know. In case you felt so inclined to lower yourself to my level for a damn second and say thank you"

Her lips covered his quickly and her right hand swept along his jaw becoming covered in white makeup, "I thought you just 'do' things…?"

"Not for someone else" he allowed one of her short chunky legs to get over his waist.

"But you know me" she frowned and shrugged, "You know me better than anybody."

"That's why it hurt so much when we used to fight" he licked his lips a bit slower, "Nothing left to hurt anymore."

"That's not true," she frowned and nuzzled his neck close, "You got backed into a corner."

"You need to stop justifying my behavior" he groaned a bit, reaching an arm back against the wall to stretch himself out, "When I tell you I have nothing…" he licked his lips and twitched, "I really have nothing."

"But you lie"

"Have I ever lied to you?"

"…no."

"I rest my case."

A silence passed which was comfortable, yet she wasn't satisfied at all.

"If you are as empty as you say, you would not want to hear that I love you, but you ask to hear it"

"As reassurance of your loyalty, nothing more"

"I don't believe you" she shook her head with a shrug, "I see the way you treat her" Harley, "I see the way you treat the bastards who do your bitch work" her eyes dropped to his left hand and she took it in hers, "I am not stupid."

"But you are…" he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "let me go."

"You do not want me to let you go" she ran her fingers through his greasy hair and fixed it since he couldn't get it back to the way it was after he messed with it, "you make fun of Bonehead all the time and call him names to let me know you do not like him"

"LIKE him?" he scoffed and wrinkled his nose as if she'd spat in his face, "I can't STAND the guy!"

"Before or after you found out I am dating him?"

He didn't respond.

With a bit of a smug grin she wove a hand into his long wavy greenish-blonde hair from behind and kissed him, "I love you too."

"Don't marry him" was all he said, and it was said quite bluntly, "I don't care how long you're with him, don't marry him. Does that sound fair?"

She nodded meekly, not expecting the thumb of his to stroke her cheek from the corners of her mouth upward. Her lips quivered with every movement of the finger and she started trembling violently at the corners of her mouth being touched that way, so he swallowed his pride and pressed a hard kiss on her. Immediately her hands went to his face and hair like a little baby, and they made out until he actually had to turn his head and cough before resuming.

* * *

_"The wife, where danger or dishonor lurks, safest and seemliest by her husband stays, who guards her, or with her the worst endures."  
— John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	25. Chapter 25: Siren

**A/N: Thank you :D!**

In the royal blue gown Bruce picked Mindy swallowed hard while standing in a small side hallway of Wayne Manor trying to find a mirror to check her reflection. From what she knew he was hosting a fundraiser with all his 'pals' as he often called them, and wouldn't tell her what it was for. She could hear the smooth jazz from a live band and the catering was simply calling her name. Appetizer trays were her best friends and, unlike her pain in the ass husband, she was always sticking whatever she saw in her mouth just to say she tried it.

At Trish's wedding to Ron, Mindy was the maid-of-honor and since death would be in order if she didn't, Trish put her twin's husband Jack in the bridal party. Ron was a couple years older, in college, working a good job which didn't end in all of his paychecks going to Clozapine and Zyprexa, and last but not least could actually afford his bride to have a real wedding. Trish had a ton of friends that all disliked her schizophrenic twin but loved her twin's husband because he was so handsome. Ron on the other hand…Mindy and Jack often called him 'Lurch' and would croak 'You raaaaaang…?' to the other when they thought Ron wasn't looking, which obviously he didn't appreciate one bit.

_Mindy and Jack sat next to each other at the table with the bridal party except the newlyweds Trish and Ron, who got their own little table to be annoying. Jack curled his lips to keep from laughing and eyeballed the horrible metallic gold dress Trish had insisted to put all the bridesmaids in. _

"_You're making me hungry" he looked at her with wide eyes, anticipating a smack before holding her left hand tightly in his right and spearing some form of string bean with the fork in his left hand. He was right-handed, but holding hers seemed more important than actually eating anything because nothing on the menu was what he preferred. _

"_Because I look like you could pull me outta the fridge" she wrinkled her nose, "I am fat enough as it is"_

_His hand dropped under the table to her lower abdomen and he shook his head with big puppy eyes, "You're beautiful, Kitten."_

"_Mhm" she grabbed his nose between her middle and index fingers, "and you are a parasitic flatterer."_

"_I love you" he nodded until she giggled, pulling him over by his nose so they could politely touch lips. It was Trish's wedding she was supposed to be the spectacle relationship. He caught sight of something rather unsettling on his plate, "…and what is THIS?" _

"_What, baby?" she frowned and moved some of her hip-length styled bleached-blonde hair behind her so she could see his plate. _

_With his fork he poked, "My onion rings have tails, Miranda, why do my onion rings have tails?"_

"_I thought you hated onion rings" she narrowed her eyes confusedly when he knocked the side of his face against hers and made the onion ring move around now worriedly._

"_I don't know, sweetheart, look at it…" he frowned and made the tail wag around and she almost vomited she was laughing so hard._

"_That's no onion ring, that's CALAMARI!" she didn't even notice how green his face got, "Stupid!" _

_Immediately he dropped his fork like it was covered in snot before physically pushing his plate back and shaking his head, which of course upset the Mrs. and she frowned._

"_What's the matter, Jack?" her head buried in the crook of his neck._

"_Miranda…" the very way his voice sugarcoated let her know where this conversation was going, "darling…" he knocked his head against hers and snuggled the top of her head, "Kitten…"_

_Her eyes lifted irritably before one little hand reached up to weave into his long wavy blonde hair, "Out with it."_

"_Would you object to stopping for-"_

"_I like McDonald's" she nodded and pet his hair before twisting her neck so they could kiss, "Baby wants McDonald's too." _

_As he smiled fondly and pulled her into his lap, both arms wrapped around her waist in a backwards hug and he kissed her throat slowly, "Have we decided what to plan for?"_

"_I want a girl" she poked her tongue between her teeth, "I wanna do her hair and make her pretty and stuff"_

"_Girl it is" he didn't even realize what was coming out of his mouth he was trying so desperately to appease his newly pregnant wife. _

_As he looked about the place, Jack honestly felt terrible. He knew Trish was just rubbing this in her sister's face because her husband was able to provide for her, meanwhile he and Mindy barely could even scrape enough together to get her a dress so they could just stand at the altar alone and recite their vows. They were beyond any definition of dirt poor and it was his fault. He'd already failed her as a provider and now they were bringing a baby into the world after fourteen years of relationship. For most people, like Trish, they were in college and still living off their parents at nineteen, but not Jack and Mindy. They decided the whole 'run away and get married' thing would work out much better for them, and as far as Mindy was concerned it did. _

"_I'm sorry" was all he could whisper at her while looking at how happy Trish was to be in that setting with all eyes on her, and Mindy frowned before running her fingers through his hair._

"_For what?" she kissed his fingers, "I love you."_

"_That should have been you…" he nuzzled the side of her head and frowned, "I've seen better handbags than your sister"_

"_HEY! Schmuck!"_

"_I love you" they kissed, "It's not healthy for you or the baby the way I have you living"_

"_Jack!" she touched his face, "You are fine, we are fine, baby is fine…" she shrugged, "I do not care if we did not have a fancy wedding because I love you more than she will ever love him. She has not loved him since she was five, so myah" she stuck her tongue out and he chuckled, those huge dimples of his driving her up the wall, "kiss my fucking ass in D minor."_

"_You know I'm good for it."_

_Giggling Mindy leaned forwards and brushed her lips against his, "You're good for lots a' other things too." _

_Her fingers rested over his thin lips and he nipped at them, making her giggle loudly and hug his neck before secretly sticking a piece of calamari in his mouth and he nearly gagged before spitting it out._

"Ready?"

That voice snapped Mindy out of her trance and she shot black tuxedo-donning Bruce her most dazzling smile before nodding.

He grinned and looked her over with quite possibly the softest eyes she'd ever seen before giving her the nod, "You look beautiful."

"In a color I hate" she wrapped her fingers around the back of his neck, pulling his head down so they gave each other one deep kiss. Despite the fact that she despised the color, she adored the gown because Bruce picked it. It made him happy, which inadvertently made her feel the same. He grinned cheekily as she pulled his head down more and kissed him longer, not even caring how badly her lipstick was being screwed up.

"Miranda" he bumped the narrow bridge of his nose against hers and smiled thinly, "I wouldn't EVER put you in something if you didn't look absolutely divine."

"Last thing Bruce Wayne needs is a fugly girlfriend" she received a pinch to her side and a hand over her butt.

"I don't care WHAT you look like"

"Lies" she pinched his nose between her thumb and index finger, "appearance is one of, if not THE deciding factor in mate-choosing so in actuality you are wrong. You think I am physically attractive and compatible with you for breeding or you would not have given me a second glance" that whole monologue had Bruce's brains scrambled, but she gently took his hand and kissed his fingers before straightening her posture, "Humans are animals."

Even though he didn't want to bring it into his conscious, deep down he knew he'd heard a similar phrase before from someone he wasn't too fond of.

"Is there anyone in particular you do not want me talking to?" she took his warm hand tightly, kissing the calloused palm and hugging the arm possessively, "I will do whatever you say"

"Why?" he affectionately nuzzled her neck before giving it a kiss on a particular spot where he placed a hickey which pounds of makeup tried to cover, "These people mean nothing to me; I've gathered their money in one place for YOU"

"And I don't like the sound of that one bit" her ice-blue eyes encased in smoky eye shadow widened when he nipped her earlobe.

"Darling, relax…" he rubbed her arm and folded her right hand firmly in his left, "You'll be fine"

Mindy cringed when Bruce just planted a big kiss behind her ear and smirked, running a hand through her loosely curled dyed-raven hair.

"This is the first event of Wayne Manor's reconstruction" he nodded and prepared his own little speech while checking out the action in the ballroom since everyone was waiting for both the grand entrance and Bruce's formal announcement of his much-publicized relationship with rockstar Mindy Stratus. "You get to be a part of history" he nudged her gently, knowing she had no interest in any of that shit but she nodded anyway and kissed his hand. Glancing down he noticed she was wearing the bracelet he'd bought her on their second date.

Frowning at his change in demeanor, she squeezed his hand and quickly reached up to touch his face, "Bonehead…"

The moment he leaned into the palm of her hand she was backed against a wall and he kissed her as hard as he could while clenching her hand. Alfred could entertain just a few minutes more.

…

After the couple dragged themselves into a bathroom to fix the other's disheveled appearance from the makeout session, all eyes shifted to the entrance of the ballroom; the music died for the heir to Wayne Enterprises and his pint-sized rockstar girlfriend holding hands politely.

The room was adorned in the symbolic red ribbon with little jigsaw puzzle pieces. Everyone wore a little pin of that exact nature…and immediately Mindy's hand went over her mouth and she trembled.

"Miranda?" Bruce frowned once he noticed she was crying and all she could do was shake her head in complete and total disbelief.

"Bruce"

"Hi" he stroked her chin in pure adulation with this thumb before turning to face the room.

Trying to get herself together she took a deep breath and curled her lips at all the death stares she got from the women, which was something she fully anticipated but didn't care. She was Mindy fucking Stratus.

"Good Evening…" of course Bruce began the speech with Mindy hugging his free arm, "I'm glad you all got here safe, you're already situated" he lifted his glass of champagne and gave them a nod, "before I get into the lovely young woman at my side-" Mindy turned nine shades of red, "-I would like to address the nature of this cause and my hope for the outcome. You see…" he surveyed the faces while ensuring Mindy stayed on his arm, "The main goal of Wayne Medical and Biotech has always been cancer research, but…" he smiled fondly at his girlfriend, "seeing the effects on someone I know very personally…I have decided to switch the focus of the sister companies to Autism."

There was a round of applause and he took a moment to silently accept it.

"Now…" rubbing Mindy's arm he smiled wider and looked up, "I know you've all heard the rumors, watched TV, gone on the internet, read the paper, I'm no idiot…" he kissed the side of Mindy's head, "So to put an end to all that I would like to officially introduce you to Miranda Marie Stratigias, whose three-year-old daughter Chelsea Ray was my inspiration to shift gears…"

"Awww" the crowd sighed and Bruce let that die out before receiving another round of applause.

"And since you've all done your part by showing up"

There was a break of laughter from the crowd.

"I will follow through with mine," he raised the glass, "and I hope you all enjoy yourselves and have a wonderful night. You are all making history for being the first crowd to enter Wayne Manor since its old construction…congratulations and I hope to meet with you all throughout the night to personally show my gratitude for your support."

The applause he received was uncanny as the music picked back up and Mindy just let out a happy squeak.

…

Once the real party ('party' suitable for the trust fund crowd) was underway, Mindy felt sick even reaching for a tray. The only thing she wouldn't touch was the seafood because she was deathly allergic to lobster. One bite and she could slip into a coma so for the most part she ruled all fish out of her diet, and that was ironic considering she had the DNA of a puma coursing through her veins. People just weren't eating much, and coming from the ethnic background she did Mindy loved food but felt like a blimp eating all by herself.

Bruce somehow knew she was hungry so as they discreetly made their rounds he would grab something (non-seafood) off a tray and pop it in his mouth, indirectly telling her to eat.

"I like the little hot dog things" Mindy nodded while squeezing Bruce's hand tightly in both of hers, "Did Alfred make them?"

"For you?" he raised an eyebrow, "Of course he did. For them?" he cringed at the crowd, "I don't think that's the type of dining these parasites are used to."

"I like that dining" the rockstar nodded and hugged his arm.

"Naturally" he found Alfred walking with a tray of glasses of brandy, making Bruce grin and kiss her temple before motioning towards Alfred, "I'll uh…" he hugged her with one arm from behind, "check on the status of our real food, alright?"

"Mhm" one hand with French manicured nails with little diamonds stuck to them rested on Bruce's cheek and they kissed, "I can hold my own."

"Watch your back" he slid a hand down the backless dress, "someone'll try and drive a stake through it the two seconds I'm gone"

"I think I can take down a bitch or two" she nodded, "I am a very good bitch master."

"Watch how fast the hornets swarm you once I leave"

"Hi…" the very way that was said drew Mindy's eyes from her boyfriend to the left where this yuppie older woman stood with a few others and her hand extended, "I cannot believe I'm standing in front of THE Mindy Stratus!"

Mindy bit her lip a tad before hesitantly taking the hand of the taller woman with teased dyed-blonde hair in her late fifties. She had more gold around her neck than anything Mindy had ever seen at the Grammy's and the ruby lipstick was just way too overpowering for the rest of her face. A little thing Mindy kept in the dark for the most part was the fan fright. Schizophrenia made her so terrified of fans she was forced to put barricades up so nobody could come anywhere NEAR the stage never mind her. The fear was they would swallow her whole and she would be stuck between people forever. It was stupid, it was irrational, it was the typical paranoid schizophrenic delusion.

"So…" the woman eyed the rockstar as if she were gum under her shoe, "you must feel elated to be Bruce's flavor of the week…?"

Mindy smiled, but it was so phony she couldn't think about it or blood would paint the floor, "More like of the past couple months."

When that woman looked at Mindy again she didn't see those ice-blue orbs but a deep glow with a narrow slit in the pupil like some sort of wildcat, though when she double-took the icy viper eyes were back.

"So…" another woman took place of the first and gave Mindy that same fake smile, "how did you and Bruce meet?"

Bruce swiftly made his way to Alfred and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Alfred…"

"Is everything alright, Master Wayne?" Alfred actually seemed a bit concerned and noticed there was no Mindy on his arm.

"I left Miranda to the wolves for a minute; I wanted to ask if you set aside the real food for her"

"She could have it right now if she pleased" a subtle shrug, "All I had to do was stick the garbage in the oven and they're done in forty minutes"

"Are they waiting on a hot plate?" he asked a bit nervously and Alfred gave him a smile and a nod.

"Where else would I place them? Overnight in the freezer?"

"I just…" his voice dipped and his eyes dropped before glancing across the room to see Mindy taking lots of shots triangulated her way, "I want everything to be perfect."

"Should I plan on making breakfast for two then?" it was clearly a joke, though Bruce didn't seem to catch it he was so unnerved.

"I don't want to think about that, Alfred" he said much nastier than intended, "She wants to spend the night that's entirely her call"

"Master Wayne…" Alfred's voice hardened to let Bruce know he was completely serious, "breathe"

"So what about your KIDS, hm?" one of the women floating around Mindy smoothly demanded, "Who's watching all those little children while you…" she smiled nastily and waved a hand, "party?"

"I have maids and nannies" Mindy nodded stiffly and tried to keep her posture.

"And what of the father?" yet another drilled, "Whatever does he think of your new squeeze?"

Mindy smiled sarcastically and dropped those menacing eyes before lifting them to begin chuckling darkly, "He's dead. He can't think about anything anymore."

If that didn't shut everyone right up…

"How does Bruce feel? I mean, they're not HIS, there's no point to-"

"If he wants a baby one day I will be more than happy to have them, IF we stay together…" she corrected herself, "I'm only twenty-eight I'm not dead yet."

That won a few laughs though she really wasn't smiling.

"Will you give it up?" one of the women confused Mindy, "You couldn't possibly continue taking your clothes off like that on stage as a married woman…"

"I play arenas bigger than cities and am the top-selling artist of the past decade. I am the first artist to have three diamond-status albums in a row as well as an induction into the songwriting hall of fame, fourteen Grammy's…" she eyeballed the women before clearing her throat, "I'm just getting started."

…

Mindy was downing brandy like Gatorade in a corner when Bruce's arms wrapped around her from behind and slowly kissed up her throat since everyone was sufficiently absorbed in their own aura. Mindy pressed her back against his solid frame and kissed his hair gently as his large hands wandered over the fabric of the dress and slipped into the chest compartment. She gasped happily as he began kneading and kissing her neck harder and hell, she wanted him to keep his hands on her in the worst way.

_Outside of Trish's wedding hall Mindy was quickly pushed against a brick wall away from the windows and kissed roughly by Jack, who kept a hand in hers and the other over her lower belly. _

"_Jack!" she giggled so hard it hurt, wrapping both arms around his neck. _

"_You can't leave me with those people" he shook his head with a snicker and parted her lips with his tongue to allow gentle entry._

"_Too LATE" she wrinkled her nose and welcomed the instigated makeout session, "Trisha Anne needs me in there"_

"_For WHAT?" he frowned and smoothed her long bleached-blonde hair, "She treats you like hell"_

"_I am her twin" Mindy sighed, kissing him harder and cuddling close, "And YOU, pain in my ass, need to be a good boy until we leave and go to McDonald's." _

"_I've been thinking about fries" _

_She nuzzled his throat, "I hope baby does not eat like you or I will have a conniption" _

"_Kitten…" he grinned cheekily when she reached up and pinched his cheeks, causing him to chuckle and they kissed._

"I cannot believe you did all this for Chels…" Mindy frowned as he kept kissing her throat and pressed a hand to his face, "I wanna dance" the music was slow as shit but she placed one hand over his, "Will you dance with me or am I gonna have t' con Alfred?"

He grinned and kissed her once more before taking her hand and leading her towards the floor, "I would break into song if you asked"

"Good" she nodded with big eyes and a finger pointing his way as they began to slowly step towards the painfully slow beat of the saxophones, "'cause that's next."

"One thing at a time, Miranda Marie" he smirked and didn't care how everyone started gawking at him and his tiny girlfriend slow-dancing with the other. Casually her head dropped to his chest and rested there as they moved. She was sure he'd have a storm of caked makeup rubbed onto him, but she didn't even care. She was a bit buzzed from the amount of brandy she had downed and wasn't nearly finished, so Bruce could already tell what kind of night this was going to be. She gripped his jacket and started to shiver.

"I am cold" they were pumping the central air conditioning and not only did her dress have no sleeves, but she was anemic.

"Here" that was a test and he passed with flying colors. Off his jacket came and he even helped her put it on before pulling her lengthy raven hair out from underneath and smiling fondly, "It looks better on you anyway."

And it didn't smell at all unlike another jacket she found herself wearing more often than not. This black Armani tuxedo smelled like his cologne, which was something so fabulous she buried her face in his chest and let him hold her. Her feline sense of smell was driven wild and she started actually purring, but snapped out of it. She purred around the Joker all the time and he didn't think it was strange; yet he was the fucking Joker.

"Thank you" she piped up meekly before digging her nails into his dress shirt and hugging him instead of actually dancing. They were all old people anyway, the two of them were the youngest, and she was the 'new money' they were all trying to aim rocket launchers at.

"I don't drink" he decided it was confession time, which made her highly intrigued and she pouted her lips without looking at him, "I pretend more often than not but I don't touch a drop."

"Lightweight?" she poked her tongue between her teeth.

"Not exactly" he nuzzled the top of her head and hugged her tighter, "it's part of my training program"

"Oh that is right, I forgot" she giggled, "I am dealing with Bonehead over here who spends his days doing pushups"

He pinched her, though she didn't expect that and squeezed her arms around his chest while laughing loudly, "MEAN!" she slapped his arm lightly, "How would you feel if I just" she almost extended her Minx claws, but immediately stopped herself and shook her head, "Oh you have such a storm coming your way once these people leave."

"I look forward to it" he nipped her earlobe.

…

As people cleared out gradually, Mindy only downed more booze…and the munchies came. She'd dragged Bruce to the kitchen and they sat across a counter from the other, Mindy chewing on a potato skin with cheese and bacon before reaching and making grabbing motions.

"Salt" she whined when Bruce literally slid the glass salt shaker at her and she nearly missed she was laughing so hard, catching it and dumping what she could onto the potato skin as he watched lovingly. They were eating with, at Mindy's request, 'In The Mood' by Glenn Miller blasting on an old record player. She loved 1940's big band and swing music, and being drunk she was quite vocal about wanting to hear it. Alfred was comfortable with her choice while Bruce was entranced by the way she swayed her shoulders, and dipped her pigs in a blanket in ketchup; taking obnoxious bites.

"Anything else?" Bruce asked when she enthusiastically rose from the seat while grabbing a handful of the little hotdogs, taking his hand and doing the impossible by chewing and dancing around the kitchen.

"Come on!" she stuffed another little hot dog in her mouth, nearly spitting it up because she was laughing so hard, "Let's GO, Bonehead! Dance with me!"

"I'm trying" he reeled her in as if they were in one of those old movies, trying to pull whatever he could out of his ass though it wasn't working at all, so Mindy happily grabbed Alfred.

"Come on, Alfred!" much to Bruce's shock his butler knew what he was doing.

"You're quite a wonderful dancer, Miss Stratigias" Alfred gave her a nod as she nearly tripped three times she was so far gone yet somehow knew every beat of that damn song.

"I could have done that" Bruce nodded with a frown when Mindy kicked her way towards him, hip-checking and dancing around him to make him feel like crap before skipping into a smoking room just begging him to follow.

"Let's go, you gotta know SOMETHING!" she shouted as he chuckled softly and made his way into the smoking room since it probably had more space to do what she wanted.

"I don't know anything" Bruce entered the room and watched her skim through old records surrounding the player, "teach me, darling."

"C'mere…" bending over she playfully beckoned him with an index finger and over the whipped boy came as the very familiar piano began to play and she was already bouncing on an armchair to the beat and opened her mouth.

"_Why do you build me up (build me up) buttercup, baby! Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around" _she held his shoulders and used them as a launching pad to land on her feet and continue mouthing the words as if she were actually singing them, "_and then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby, when you say you will (say you will) but I love you still! I need you (I need you) more than anyone, Darling! You know that I have from the start! So build me up (build me up) buttercup, don't break my heart!" _

Alfred lingered in the doorway as Bruce twirled her and actually seemed to be openly enjoying himself as she forced him to dance and continued mouthing the words with great exaggeration since she was drunk. As Bruce's hands ran down her back she dropped her eyes and looked up to see Jack with his hands over her rear, so she jumped on her toes and kissed him while trying to dance, pulling away to see it was Bruce again. He reeled her in and did his best to mimic her drunken sauntering.

As she looked up again Bruce wasn't singing to her, Jack was, "_To you I'm a toy but I could be the boy you adore, if you'd just let me go! Although you're untrue, I'm attracted to you all the more! Why do I need you so?" _

She shook her head out and it was Bruce again as she wanted it to be, so she brushed her lips against his and kept her arms tight around him as they sang to the other. He twirled herand pulled her close while breaking into laughter, "_Why do you build me up (build me up) buttercup, baby! Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around and then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby, when you say you will (say you will) but I love you still! I need you! (I need you) more than anyone, darling! You know that I have from the start! So build me up (build me up) buttercup, don't break my"_

Mindy threw her head back and shimmied to belt the final part, "_I-, need you more than anyone, baby! You know that I have from the start…"_

…

The door to the master bedroom was practically karate-kicked shut and locked as Bruce's back was slammed to the door with Mindy's short little legs wrapped around his waist practically tearing the buttons off his shirt. He hiked her dress up past her hips.

They were kissing so hard Mindy was afraid the collagen injected into her was going to pop until his tongue slid along hers. He struggled to delicately get the zipper down her dress but the damn hook and eye was in the way.

Mindy didn't even wait to buck her hips roughly while fighting to pull his tie off. She would have used a claw as she often did with Jack and just ruined his tie, but being that Bruce had no idea what she was capable of she decided to be discreet and let him do it himself.

"Bruce…" she watched how he finally pulled her dress over her head and the sticky tape off her breasts which was used in lieu of a bra. He'd take her thong off in a minute the bigger concern was his tie, which he managed to pull over his head and immediately fumble with the button on his pants. He panted while kissing her fingers, keeping his lips fluttering on top of the tiny knuckles before each and every fingertip.

Swallowing hard and making contact with those dark eyes as they lied on top of the blood red comforter, Mindy nodded and reached to touch his face, "I want it."

"I've wanted it since I laid eyes on you" they kissed and he swallowed nervously while running a hand down her fair skin, "You're amazing…" he saw her mouth move to speak so he covered her lips with his to shush her kindly, "everything about you."

"I think you are very pretty" Mindy nodded with a sniffle while driving her tongue into his mouth and rubbing her arousal against his, "and you are the sweetest, cutest boy ever and I lo-"

His lips brushed her fingers and then her neck, slowly planting kisses all along the hollow of her throat. Her icy skin flushed a deep red as his kisses lowered by the second.

"Bruce" she sighed as a bit of a gasp while squeezing his shoulder muscles, actually bending to kiss them.

He nipped her collarbone and slid a hand from her face and hair down over her ample silicone chest. His free hand stood gripped in her hair while the other kneaded away at her chest slowly, and tired of him kissing her breastplate she dragged his face back up so they could kiss for god knew how long. His kiss was her favorite thing about him because of the way his mouth was shaped. Both her hands pressed against his solid chest and travelled further south, migrating over the washboard abs when suddenly his hips jerked, which made her very happy.

"Bruce…" the kissing slowly progressed into just wanting to lather each other's bodies and he swallowed, his deep brown hair falling into his face and she had to brush it away so their eyes met.

"What is it, darling?" he slowly took one lip of hers at a time in both of his, gently sucking while grazing her nipples with his thumbs, "What is it, darling, what is it? You can tell me if-"

"You fucking stop on me I will rip your balls off personally" she nodded quickly before kissing him back because he felt so good, "I am only doing this because I adore you…" she sniffled and kissed him harder, "I do not just fuck people, okay? You are number two in my entire life."

"And I'm in love with you" he panted against her mouth while forcing himself to nod, "Miranda Marie…I love you…I can't stop thinking about you…" he ran a hand over her face to keep the long raven hair out of her eyes as her head rested in his hand on the pillows, "I could easily spend the rest of my life with you. I love you…I love the kids…" his head dropped and nudged the side of hers like a big puppy, "and I want to make you happy…!" Quickly his breathing had gotten more haggard and he kissed her hard as he could, "I love you, darling."

Taking a moment to drop her eyes and let that all soak in, they kissed as her hand returned to his hair to brush it all out of his gorgeous face. His hair was so perfectly straight and at the length where it just covered his eyes when wet so she enjoyed keeping it back, leaning up using her abs to kiss his hair and gently nibble on the shell of his ear. By pulling up she'd pushed her breasts to his chest and could feel the strong muscles flex and relax with every move.

"Bonehead" her nose rubbed against his as he adjusted his position so he was propped on his elbows and both her arms could easily coil around his body.

"I love you" he countered breathlessly while returning a hand to knead her breasts and introduce his tongue to the equation, planting sweet kisses before returning to her mouth and gliding his tongue down her throat for another long couple of minutes. Each gentle stroke of his tongue on hers brought her closer to the edge and him further into arousal.

Swallowing hard and becoming the daring one, she reached out and grasped his length in a single hand, watching him groan and buck his hips into her hand.

"Miranda…" he growled when she flipped him over and straddled over his thighs, rocking against his lower thigh while taking him into her mouth.

With a sharp inhale he watched as best he could make out in the dark and wove a hand in her hair to make it go faster despite. She was making him want in a way he was more than excited to follow through with. A couple more harsh breaths and he released down her throat, panting desperately as she cleaned him off before crawling back up to kiss him.

"I love you Miranda"

Allowing a hand to drift between her legs he lazily slipped into her wet heat to externally stroke for a moment and decide just how badly she wanted him.

"Baby" she begged as his long fingers caused her back to arch in pleasure and she started mewling like a kitten, looking him in the eye longingly as he slid several fingers inside and gently moved them in and out, dropping every so often to lick them before plunging right back in. "BRUCE, Bruce, Bruce, oh my god…" she panted, "fuck, do more…"

"Shhh…" gently withdrawing his fingers he slid them down her chest slowly and licked the moist trail he left, moving over her belly button until his mouth met with her heat.

Her breathing got really harsh, letting tears roll as he taunted her with the slow torture of his tongue. He tried lapping faster and adding a finger to rub her womanhood specifically, and that made her hands fly to his hair and grip it tightly. Her head threw back, actually moving her hips into his mouth to let him know what an excellent job he was doing. His tongue went from stroking to teasing and she screamed; releasing and keeping his face buried there. He climbed back up and kissed her.

"I love you" a hushed pained whisper while positioning his hard length between her legs, "I won't hurt you…" with quivering lips he tried to smile as best he could, "I promise you with every ounce of anything I have in me I'll never hurt you. I'll take care of you, the kids, and I won't let anything happen if you just trust me"

"I do" she sniffled and nodded wrapping her arms under his shoulders, preparing as if she were fifteen all over again getting ready to lose her virginity, "I trust you, Bruce…" her lips brushed his and a starry look began to form in the back of her eyes.

He nodded before panting hard and letting her brush the hair out of his face, "Will you let me make love to you?"

Before he could finish his sentence she leaned upwards and kissed him slowly, tenderly, "I want you to."

They kissed, and as he momentarily distracted her he eased himself between her parted legs. She let out a loud gasp before lifting both legs to hook around him. He was slow, he was gentle, and she cried out in pleasure from every gentle thrust. She'd never been so in love with him than this very moment where he kissed away every tear she shed and nuzzled the icy skin of her neck despite how heated she was below the waist.

"You're so beautiful…" she cooed as if speaking to a baby while running her fingers through his hair and along his face, "You are so beautiful, darling, everything about you"

"Only second place" he responded lightly while her walls increasingly tightened around him by the minute. He wanted to hold on for as long as he physically could despite the pain of his body begging release. "I love you…" he groaned into her ear and ignored his body's demand to move faster and harder.

"Bruce…!" she kissed him firmly and moaned, mewling happily once his hand dropped between her legs to make her crazier. "Bonehead" she giggled fondly as he gently drove her into climax and her head lodged in the crook of his neck, actually crying because he felt so good. Moments later he grunted his release, panting and keeping the same slow and torturous rhythm from before, nowhere near brought back down to earth at how tight she'd gotten around him.

"I love you" he whispered faintly while driving himself into her still, and hell she didn't want him to ever stop.

"I took my pill" birth control, "You are scared"

"No no…" he kissed her forehead followed by both her eyelids.

"Bruce…" she arched her back at the way his hips gently ground into hers, "fuck me again, fuck me harder"

He let her legs drop from his waist and spread more outward so he could get into her easier and picked up his pace.

She moaned happily and dug her nails into his back, "Bruce, Bruce…you're perfect"

"I love you" he kissed her throat and kept pace, "I truly love you"

Her eyes watered and she wanted to say 'I love you too'. Whether it was because she was too worked up in the act or because she couldn't betray Jack that way, she couldn't tell. Part of her was screaming 'whore' and 'slut', but she loved Bruce.

As he drove her over the edge her nails sank into his back as she came. He hissed, spilling his warm seed inside her body once again before she flipped him onto his back and sat straddled over his waist, stroking him calmly one moment and impaling herself the next. She didn't even give him a break she just rolled on top and rocked her hips away, completely submitting and yeah, maybe becoming his whore but she didn't care. He loved her deeply and she was just as insane. She'd be his whore until the end of time.


	26. Chapter 26: Idiot

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Around three in the afternoon the next day Bruce's eyes peeled open from sunlight seeping through the thick curtains and squinted only for a moment; moving to get out of bed and check the time when he realized Mindy was fast asleep on his chest, her thick mass of raven hair covering her face and making her look dead so he moved it aside and remembered something crucial. She needed her medicine and she needed it fast before she had an episode. He couldn't actually move to get it without waking her, and he had to create a special strawberry milkshake because she couldn't swallow pills. He groaned and rubbed his eyes before stroking Mindy's hair and reaching for his cell phone on the nightstand, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Alfred…" Bruce croaked lowly and waited for Alfred's response, which came quickly and seemed quite surprised.

"Master Wayne?"

"Hi Alfred…"

"Are you calling me from your bedroom?"

"I screwed up" he rubbed Mindy's back gently, "Her pills are in a special bag near her purse on the counter where we ate last night…I need you to make her a strawberry milkshake and crack the pills open so she doesn't wake up frightened. I'd do it myself but I completely forgot"

"Forgot, Master Bruce?" Alfred teased a bit gently, "Or got luckier than you thought you would?"

"You know where the keys are to unlock my door" he responded quite craftily to elude a straight answer, "I just need it on my nightstand so I can hand it to her the moment she opens her eyes."

"The very moment, Sir? I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks" he hung up and laid back on the feather pillows, tightening his hold on Mindy and making sure she was sufficiently covered by the blood red comforter.

Not much later a knock sounded on Bruce's door before Alfred came in carefully holding a tray with Mindy's pink little milkshake in it with a chocolate straw because Bruce had bought them especially for her. Quickly glancing towards the two figures lying in bed, Alfred wasn't even remotely surprised and could only smile weakly hoping that this one would stay. Bruce was especially attached to her of all people; it was discernable from the very way he wouldn't even move out of the bed in fear of waking her.

"Would Miss Stratigias be interested in something to eat once you wake her?" he whispered in Bruce's ear, and after taking the milkshake in his hands, the young man nodded and smiled warmly at her for a moment before switching his gaze to Alfred.

"That would be nice" Bruce tried to hide his yawn, "Anything high in carbs seems to be her favorite."

Alfred glanced at her sleeping body fondly, "She's a paranoid schizophrenic"

"Which makes her crave crap that's horrible for her?"

"The unhealthy diet is a trait shared by both Schizophrenics and Autistics…" he gave Bruce a nod while taking his leave, "you'll become quite used to it."

"For you?" Bruce cooed after Alfred left while stroking Mindy's hair, "I'll eat dirt."

Sniffling and clearing his throat to try and get rid of the morning rasp, he kissed Mindy's head until she started to stir under the blankets and open her eyes to face him.

"Hi, honey…" he cooed and pet her face like a baby since she seemed startled and handed her the milkshake, "look what I had Alfred make for you" he grinned and nipped at the tip of her nose before she groggily took the drink and stared at it warily, "No poison, I promise." He nodded in approval as she began to slowly sip it down through the chocolate straw, "If I wanted to kill you, poison wouldn't be how I did it."

"Would you stab out my eyes with scissors?" her voice cracked and she spoke in an octave she normally didn't use, which worried Bruce only for a second before he realized it wasn't her but the disorder talking. She murdered her mother with a pair of scissors in her eye sockets when she was twelve, by asking that it was basically her subconscious coming back to haunt her.

"No" he kissed her forehead as she drank, "I love you."

Nodding absently she gradually finished the drink before handing it back to him and slamming her lips to his, beginning to slowly rock her hips.

"Good" she kissed him deeply and giggled as his lower body responded, "morning!"

"Good morning, darling" he grinned before giving her a kiss and holding her naked body close, "It's only three in the afternoon, we're fine."

"Three?" she gasped and shook her head at him, "Holy SHIT!"

"I know" he smirked before gliding his tongue into her mouth and feeling her fingers run through his smooth dark hair, "Alfred's making us something for breakfast"

"Brunch" a kiss to the tip of his nose, "It is past breakfast but not yet dinner hours, which makes it a brunch."

"Can you stay?" he began to pant, "Do you have to leave right away?"

"No" she shook her head and kissed the beauty mark on his lower neck, "I will stay."

"Forever?" his eyes softened hopefully and she paused her movements, frowning and shaking her head.

"What are you saying?"

"Move in with me…?" he waited for a nod, "We can live anywhere, us and the kids…"

She smirked before leaning forwards and kissing him for as long as she could hold her breath, "How about we break them in next door before schlepping all the way out to the big mansion in the Palisades?"

"It's still in the city limits" he nodded with wide eyes and she giggled.

She took a long inhale before touching his chest fondly, "Penthouse first…get used to the babies running around like maniacs…" she paused at the way he was smiling, "try being a daddy for a while see if you like it"

"I will"

"SEE if you like it" she repeated again with a giggle and they kissed, "they will surely love YOU…" she nodded and took a deep breath, "and once the babies and you seem okay with each other we will move out here, okay?"

"I like that" he gave her a kiss, "there's more space out here as far as living room is concerned"

"I bought the penthouse with lots of bedrooms for a reason" she rubbed their noses together, "I have no problem sharing your room with the glass in front of the bed with you"

"Almost all the walls are windows" he chuckled a bit before kissing her smoothly, "we're too high up for anyone to catch a real good look"

"And if they do?" she shrugged and stuck up her middle finger, giggling as he hooked his finger through hers and bit it lightly. She laughed loudly and leaned down to plant little love bites all over his neck as he hugged her tight and flipped them over so he drove her into the bed.

…

They made love hard in the shower though upon sight of the heavy cuts and bruises she missed last night because they danced in the dark, Mindy gasped and slapped a hand over her mouth. Immediately she started rattling from tears and running her fingers all over his back and kissing his bruised shoulders frantically.

"Darling, what's wrong?" he frowned and held her close until he felt something he didn't like on her back…and upon glancing down he made contact with a bruise the size of Australia and he panicked.

"How did you get that?" the pair asked each other simultaneously, "How did I miss that? What happened?"

Staring each other in the eye worriedly, they tried to act serious for a moment before smiling thinly and pressing foreheads.

"I love you" he told her over the roar of the water and they kissed.

…

Not only did Bruce and Mindy come down the stairs holding hands, but Mindy wore both a pair of Bruce's pinstripe pajama pants (she let him keep her thong as a souvenir) and a long-sleeve plain hunter green shirt of his. Even though not a drop of makeup was on her face, Miranda Marie still looked like a baby doll and her mop of dyed-raven hair was completely wavy and all over the place.

"Sleep well, the both of you?" Alfred motioned for the pair to sit next to the other, and sheepishly they both did so. That awkward creep came over the room where both parties knew the other was aware of last night's events so they tried not to bring it up.

"We did, thank you" she chirped way too peppy for Bruce at this hour, but he simply kissed her fingers and dropped his head to her shoulder while trying not to pass out. "Did you sleep nice?"

"Like a bloody rock" Alfred nodded to make her giggle, approaching with plates of crepes with all different sorts of toppings and fruit.

"Ooo!" her eyes got big and she grinned at the plates in front of them, "Alfred, this looks AMAZING!"

"Looks can be deceiving" Bruce snipped with a bit of a competitive glare at Alfred, obviously anticipating the glare from his lifelong friend and he snickered into his plate he was so giddy over giving that cheap shot.

"Oh, hush up! Pain in my ass" she waved him off before taking her fork and immediately going for the marshmallows, sprinkles, and chocolate syrup while Bruce went for the fruit.

"Excuse me" Bruce suddenly sounded very droll before glaring at her plate, "Look at our plates and tell me I'm the pain in the ass"

"You are" she nodded, "Fruit is more expensive than treats"

"It's because it's better for you" Bruce nodded while actually taking her knife and cutting her food for her even though she didn't ask.

"_What ARE you doing…?" with a look of great curiosity pulled across his face and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, Jack entered the kitchen to see his pregnant wife seated comfortably at the table with a couple of bagels cut horizontally in half all in a row, homemade tomato sauce, and grated cheese in front of her. _

"_Makin' pizza bagels" Mindy shrugged happily and waited for him to sit her in his lap, smashing the cigarette out into an ash tray so he wasn't blowing smoke in his wife's face._

"_Really?" he dropped his head to her shoulder and nuzzled her close as she spread the tomato sauce with a knife, "Fascinating." _

"_You will like them" she nodded when he smirked and gave her temple a kiss._

"_I like everything you make"_

"_That is because" she sighed and turned her head so they could kiss, "it is all you know"_

"_OR…" he smiled as she calmly spread the sauce onto the plain bagels, "you have a talent you fail to recognize as usual"_

"_You are talented" she nodded and held up a finger covered in extra sauce so he could lick it, "You are the most talented person I know." She sniffled and touched a hand to his face, "You just let it go to waste when you should not. You could be so amazing if you chillaxed and stopped worrying so much" she gave him a big kiss to the mouth, "Smile!"_

_He did, and she immediately laughed loudly because he had the cutest dimples to compliment that beautiful smile of his. _

"_Your eyes are not totally brown" she shook her head and wrapped an arm around his neck to kiss him._

"_Really?" he was intrigued, leaning to kiss her again and she happily did so._

"_They got a bit of green in them, like a hazel" she nodded and ran her fingers through his long blonde hair._

"_Like a hazel?" he repeated, not condescending at all but mainly being endearing and she nodded. "Hazel they are, Kitten" he pressed his fingers into the center of her hand so the claws came out, "Who needs an electric can opener, eh?"_

_She wrinkled her nose in mock-offense before elbowing him in the gut and kissing his jaw. _

"_Pain in my ass" she shook her head, grinned at the expected nudge with his nose, and they kissed deeper, "I love you."_

"_I love you more" he reached with a free hand and grabbed a handful of cheese, "Can I sprinkle?"_

"_Yes" she took his free hand, kissing the fingers as he helped her prepare what she had just been making as a snack because she had become a ravenous pregnant lady. "Baby was hungry you can eat with us"_

_The didn't have the money to get her a thousand ultrasounds to determine the sex of their child they were just kind of crossing their fingers and hoping for the best, which in Mindy's case was a little girl. _

"_I would love to eat with you" his Australian accent to her was something so totally out there and unique. _

_He and his parents moved to Canada from Australia when he was five, which was the age he met Mindy in kindergarten and the rest was complete history. Jack's alcoholic father knifed his mother when he was eleven and made a small indent in Jack's lower lip with a knife for crying. Immediately afterwards Jack left the house and actually snuck into Mindy's basement where her parents kept her secluded in a dog kennel after beating her. He laid there with her for hours, bawling his eyes out. Mindy wasn't allowed outside the house except for school, so what Jack would often do was just sneak through that window and talk to her for the longest time and promise he was going to make her a princess one day. Then Mommy and Daddy found out he was down there and not only called the police on him, but completely boarded up the one basement window so Jack could never get down there again to corrupt their 'demonic' fiend of a child. _

"_Good" she nodded and let him kiss her throat, "I think I wanna toast them or put them in the oven before you just eat like a savage."_

"_Works for me" he helped her sprinkle the cheese on before squeezing her hand tightly in his and yawning, which made her upset and she ran a finger down the bridge of his nose. _

"_Why so serious?" she frowned until they kissed and pet the other's face._

_He shook his head dismissively and they kissed, "I love you…"_

"_YOU are the only boy for me, Jack" she wrapped his arm around her so it covered her lower abdomen, "Which is why I want baby to KICK you!"_

"_KICK me?" he pressed his forehead to hers, "Why would you want that?"_

"_Because" she shrugged indifferently and started placing her pizza bagels on a tray, "pain in my ass…"_

"_I love you" he nodded and helped her stand while heading for the oven, "You're my only friend." _

_Both her hands grabbed the sides of his face and she flew a few inches up so they were close enough to kiss and she just didn't let him go. He was everything. He was her Jack. And it haunted him. _

Mindy shook herself and tried to refocus on eating with Bruce. The guilt of what happened the night before ate her alive because she knew she had to break it to the person who truly mattered most not only had she slept with Wayne, but she had officially agreed to move in with him. First and foremost he'd call her an idiot.

…

"Idiot" was the first thing the Joker snapped while pacing about the chemical plant with Minx meekly sitting on a railing as he did so, "What, do you have shit for brains now?"

She said nothing but kept her eyes down. Everything he said was well-deserved, but she couldn't help it. How could she say no to Bruce? She loved him. Her hood was off because it was only him while Harley hovered over his shoulder like the little parasite that she was.

"Miss Kitty thinks she's SLICK, doesn't she?" she pinched Minx's cheek and that didn't seem to go so well with the half-beast, "DOESN'T she, huh?" she rubbed behind Minx's ears and scratched the top of her head, "Little Minxy is the cutest widdle kitty who thinks she can realistically live with Prince Charming happily forever after!"

A glint formed in the Joker's eye which only Minx caught and she wished she didn't. She'd almost rather not know how he felt about it, if he felt anything at all.

"I'm sorry" she said to the Joker as a croak, though he didn't even want to hear it.

"I'm sorry!" Harley mocked in her face and the Joker let her do it, "I'm SORRY WAH WAH WAH! I'm SOW-WY! Miss Kitty is SOWWY nyeh-nyeh-nyeh! WAH!"

Harley was immediately shoved aside by the frighteningly distant-looking Joker, who quickly lifted the bell on Minx's collar with his index finger before shaking his head disappointedly and turning away.

…

While leaning back in the chair at the salon as she, her twin sisters, her mother, and her aunt got manicures and pedicures was Amber. A pair of white-framed oversized sunglasses sat on Amber's little face as she tossed her hip-length wavy blonde hair over her shoulder and checked her mother to see what she was doing…texting of course.

"Hey Mommy…" she began a bit softly to catch Mindy's attention, and thankfully Mindy adjusted her hold on Scarlett to look to the lanky six-year-old, "are we really living with Bruce?"

"Not yet, honey" Mindy shook her head and smiled gently at her, "You guys get to decide whether or not Bruce gets to be one of us."

"But don't you love him?" Amber frowned and Mindy nodded along for a moment before shrugging.

"I love him, yes,"

"But did you TELL him…?" Trish knew better and of course Mindy shook her head.

"I'm not leading him on unless my babies really want him in the family"

"I think you're such an idiot" Trish shook her head at her twin sister, "Any NORMAL woman would have followed up with a 'yes' and an 'I love you'"

"But I have five babies" Mindy snuggled Scarlett and looked for wherever Oxa's location may be, "I do not want a boyfriend with money I don't need fucking money. I'll live in a god damn one-bedroom apartment with the guy as long as he loves my babies"

"Oh yeah…" Trish nodded with great sarcasm and a furrowed brow, "because I could SO see you living that way with a guy"

The glare she received from Mindy was enough to burn holes in her skull.

"Relax, Meem" Trish waved her off and rolled her eyes, "God forbid I forget the messiah for a minute."

"He's my husband-"

"He's DEAD, Meem!" she hissed low enough so the babies couldn't hear, but Amber sure did, "He's NOT coming back! And to be honest, he really wasn't all that great anyway. You just stick him on this perfect fucking pedestal because-"

"He loved me?" she raised an eyebrow and nodded, "Yeah. Kinda rules everything else out, doesn't it?"

Looking at her mother's finger Amber noticed that she, once again, was wearing her wedding rings even after spending the night at Bruce's house.

"Does he know about Daddy?" Amber asked blindly, and Mindy immediately nodded which annoyed Trish greatly.

"Who she's talking about isn't your father" she corrected and Mindy didn't appreciate it one bit. "Mommy's husband DIED YEARS before you were even a thought and to cope with it, Mommy got friendly with four different guys and-"

"Thank you" Mindy ran her fingers through Scarlett's long straight blonde hair, "but I would shut up and get my facts straight before preachin' to my babies shit that you don't know."

"Did Batman catch him yet?" Amber frowned at her mother though Mindy pursed her lips in confusion, "The Joker…?"

"I dunno" Mindy shrugged indifferently, "I hope so."

"Will the Joker come get us?" Amber frowned when Mindy immediately shook her head.

"Why would he ever come get us? He doesn't know us."

Though she didn't come out and say it, Amber had a real hard time believing that.


	27. Chapter 27: Office Romances

**A/N: Thank you :D!**

"So do you still hate me?" Minx walked alongside the Joker where a bunch of Rottweiler's were charging towards a chain fence and snapping their teeth.

The corner of the Joker's mouth twitched and he licked his lips, not acknowledging she was holding his gloved hand. Whatever he was feeling it certainly wasn't happy.

"Does it really MATTER?" he asked a bit shrewdly, not bothering to move his eyes anywhere but the dogs physically jumping up onto the chain link fence to try and bite at them, so Minx leaned over and hissed fiercely until they heeled.

"Yes" Minx nodded and squeezed his gloved hand tighter, "Hard to work when your boss hates you."

"Office romances…" he sighed uncaringly and dropped to a bit of a squat in front of the giant cage, making nice with a particular Rottweiler and using the back of his hand to pet the canine's nose, "Shush, shush shush shush…" he whispered to the thing and nodded satisfactorily, "there we go…" he licked his lips as the dog contently sniffed his hand.

Observing how gentle he was being with the animals for a few pensive moments, Minx shifted her weight and placed her hands on her hips. The hood unfortunately had to be up so only her eyes glowed from underneath as she approached the Joker slowly from behind, and just watched him pay close attention to a second black tailless dog which wandered his way.

"We can go in and pet them" she told him weakly from behind, kindly running nimble fingers through his long blonde-green hair, "We're gettin' three a' them anyway"

"Two" he stuck his face close to the dog's nose and made little kissing sounds, "These guys aren't so bad."

"Yeah, until they bite your ass"

He waved her off and pointed a finger in her direction, "They're biting an ass I can assure you it won't be mine, Kitten."

"Mhm" she rolled her eyes and hugged his neck from behind, not caring if anyone was around even though she knew he was about to shove her off, "I am sorry about yesterday"

"Get off" he pushed her back absently before standing and pointing his knife towards two of the dogs, "Where's the Russian?"

…

Two dogs trotted alongside Minx and the Joker; their muscles contracting and relaxing with every step to the point that she hugged the clown's arm and nestled her head into it.

"I thought" he twitched a second and licked his lips, not bothering to look her way or lift an eyebrow, "you loved animals"

"Yeah uhhh" she cringed and shook her head with a grimace, "after bein' a cat for a thousand years I grew to hate most doggies."

"I'm a bit of a mad dog" he glanced down, "I don't like cats, cats don't like me."

"Oh bullshit, Fievel LOVES you. You NEVER got mad at Fievel."

"YOU liked it" he reached down and pet the top of one of the dogs heads quickly, "I could have done without"

"Well I'm kinda kitty and I love you"

"Name it" he gestured towards the dog walking alongside Minx and licked his lips, though she pouted hers confusedly, "The dog…" he rolled his eyes and shook his head, "name it."

"Hmm…" cocking her head and glancing at the massive animal which was almost as big as her, Minx pet its head happily, "This one's gonna be Fugaboo…he's so fucking ugly" she glanced at the dog more and shrugged, "but it's a cute kinda fug, ya know?"

"Why would I expect anything different from you?"

"Well" she raised both eyebrows and sniggered, holding a hand over her mouth and shaking her head, "I was not so sure how you would take my first name"

"Not that you've got me interested…?" he leaned towards her and ran his fingers through her hair.

She sucked her cheeks in for a moment before quickly squeaking out, "Jigaboo…cuz he's black."

Throwing his head back he laughed so hard she could hear the wheezing in his breath, "Are you kidding?" he cocked his head playfully and got in her face while still busting a gut, "That's brilliant, Kitten!"

She smiled and dropped her eyes as he laughed so hard he leaned on a nearby building wall to rest his head.

"Careful" she rubbed his back before he started coughing, "Easy, tiger."

"You are…" pushing off the wall and draping an arm over her shoulder in an almost drunken manner he sighed, dropping the side of his head to the top of hers, "Completely adorable in a non-hamster kind of way."

"Why?" she frowned, "Did you name yours?"

"What" he stopped laughing and looked at her, which only made her frown.

"Your doggy…did you name him?"

"What"

"JACK, what the fuck did you name the fucking dog?"

"WHAT"

"WHAT?"

Grabbing her face with both gloved hands he slammed his mouth to hers in the middle of the sidewalk. Covering his wrists with hers she just dropped her head back robotically and let him kiss her as long as he wanted to, not even caring about how dry his lips were anymore she didn't give a damn. They kissed once more when he pulled back and clicked his tongue at her, sliding his open palm down her face quickly and she kissed the black leather glove.

"Pain in my ass" she snagged his extended hand and ripped it into a close hug, "So you do not hate me after all…?"

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, Kitten" he checked to make sure What and Fugaboo were keeping up with them.

"Please" she smirked and tauntingly rolled her eyes, "You are dying in love with me and are trying to be extra nice because you do not want me with Bruce."

"I think you suffer from deprivation of self-esteem…"

SMACK!

He laughed. Of course. She could hit him with a brick and he'd laugh like it was a bad joke.

…

"Commissioner…" Viper knocked on the frame before entering Commissioner Gordon's office.

Glancing up from his paperwork Commissioner Gordon nodded at the young officer, "Come on in, Detective" Gordon beckoned Viper reluctantly and in the young man came, a scowl on his face and his hands placed on his hips. "What is it?"

"This…" Viper shrugged and waved a hand around, "I don't understand any of it. Batman hasn't done jack and quite frankly this clown is going to tear the entire city apart with absolutely NO real motive which any of us can identify!"

"That's because he doesn't HAVE one…" Gordon replied in exasperation, "I don't even think the Joker knows what he wants to be quite honest"

"Obviously?" Viper hissed while motioning out the window to the reconstruction and thousands of small candlelight vigils which had taken place outside of the carnage, "I think he has a smidgeon of an idea. He hid for a bit and thought it would be funny to frame your Bat-friend, but obviously he grew tired of that joke and wants to do something else…something more discreet and probably MUCH more destructive" he paused at that and cringed, "if that's even possible, look at our city…he's razing it to the ground with that cat, clown, and gang of expendable reject mob men while WE as a police unit"

"Did you or did you not see what that man is capable of without blinking an eye?" Gordon pointed towards the roof of the station, "We've TRIED to come after him, we've sent the National Guard after this man, we locked him up in a padded cell! There is NOTHING that can stop this man and his army just keeps growing!"

"So what are we going to do about that, huh?" Viper shouted while getting way too close to Gordon's face out of anger, "Just sit around and wait for Batman to fuck it up yet again? Look, I don't know about you psychos out here, but back in Manhattan, where I come from…" his beady eyes became steel and he growled, "we actually DO something about it!"

"We're doing everything we can this city is in a declared state of emergency! Whatever the hell that…" he scowled and waved a hand in the air, "MINX is she came with YOU! I don't even know what that thing is, it's obviously not human!"

"Oh she's human alright" Viper stared at a large black and white photograph of Minx flying around a building to avoid the remote controlled airplane, "I say the thing is a mass-murderer, we shoot to kill."

Gordon could only stare at Viper before sighing and shaking his head in defeat, "You're right…" his eyes dropped, "she's too much for us as a police force…and on the Joker's leash who knows what she can do"

"Kill the bitch."

…

Exiting the Major Crimes Unit out the back door as he always did to get to his apartment, Viper scowled at the snip of the night air before checking the time on his cell phone. His strides were long and his breaths quick, looking down as usual when something didn't feel right about the setting. Furrowing his brow he looked up in the darkness to see a figure in a long dark coat standing stiff at the end of the alley. His made-up face practically glowed in the moonlight while the rest of him was pretty easy to pick out too. With a gasp Viper whipped out his gun.

"POLICE! FREEZE!"

The figure didn't move, which only frustrated the young man and he growled.

"I'm not FUCKING kidding, get your hands up!"

It took a step closer.

"HANDS UP! NOW!"

"Aha…!" that laugh resounded about the alley and sent a snap straight through Viper's heart, "ha…ho! Hee! Hee! Ha! Ho! Ha…!"

"DON'T MOVE!" the way his fingers were rattling on the trigger was everything the Joker needed to see to know he was the one in control, though…he really didn't need a visual at all to know that. He could dance to Viper's heartbeat it was palpable from two hundred feet away.

"Or WHAT?" the Joker cocked his head with great interest while stepping closer yet, his knife glowing in the pale moonlight as he went, "You gonna SHOOT me, Detective? Huh?" his voice deepened to a hoarse rasp and he growled, "Well DO IT! SHOOT ME!"

Viper's hands again trembled on the trigger and the Joker could only snort, coming even closer to the point that the barrel of the gun was directly on his forehead.

"Come on, come on, Randall, I want you to do it! I want you to do it!" he muttered so quickly Viper couldn't even think. "Shoot me!"

Viper's eyes narrowed but he hesitated.

"SHOOT ME!" he threw his knife aside and it was picked up by Minx, who was just standing in the background making herself invisible. He didn't tell her to do anything…he didn't even tell her what he was doing right now she was just ready to kill if Viper even thought it would be cool to pull that trigger.

With great rue, Viper dropped the gun. Those 'ceiling' eyes wreathed in black bore holes into Viper's even though the detective wasn't even really sure if the Joker was looking at him or some vague spot behind him. The clown's jaw dropped a bit though and he licked his lips before grabbing the back of Viper's head.

"You know…" his lips smacked together and he shifted from foot to foot while holding the back of Viper's head, "guys like you…" he looked up to the sky, "are…" he licked his lips and nodded, "the reason why people misconstrue guys like me…"

Viper growled so the Joker grabbed his cheeks in a single hand and yanked his face from side to side.

"Listen! Listen to me!" he got so close Viper could taste the vapor in the Joker's breath, "See…what I'm trying to get across is" he looked up and swayed a bit before leaning close to Viper's ear, "you're a bully" he nodded with wide eyes and pouted his lips, "You had no problem firing that gun towards my wife, but when I come along…?" he cocked his head, "you FREEZE…! You FREEZE because you know you're picking on someone your own size and no longer have a 'valid' victim…" he licked his lips and nodded, "but I see the truth"

"Fuckin' freak" Viper managed to snarl out while fighting to get out of the Joker's grasp, "I fuckin' knew you two nutjobs were-"

"Freeeak…" the Joker hissed at him a bit slowly and nasty, "freeeeeak…is that all I am, Randall?" he cocked his head with a sick smile, "A freak?" his voice deepened, "Or am I a strange force of nature you haven't had the pleasure of yet combating against?"

Viper shut right up there and could only stare at the gigantic scars creating the Joker's Chelsea smile.

"Wanna know how I got them?" he nodded in reference to the scars on his face since Viper was just fucking staring at them.

Viper fought to rip his face away and the Joker resisted.

"Sh sh!" he shifted his weight to develop the story, "When I was a boy I had one friend…a very special friend…a friend," he kept his face inches away from Viper's as his tone erratically changed pitch every few syllables, "who was picked on and ridiculed every day by a BULLY…" he tilted his head a bit more, "like YOU…and no one did anything about it. SO…" he snagged Viper's chin and whispered, "look at me! SO…one day as he's running a fork through her hair I tell him to stop…he turns to me, and he goes…" his voice deepened to that awful rasp which made grown men shit themselves, "WHY…SO…SERIOUS?" he licked around his mouth to moisten his lips, "He leaves her alone to take the fork in his hand and come to ME saying" again the growl, "WHY…SO…SERIOUS?" his head cocked and he smiled sarcastically, "He says…let's put a SMILE on that face! He sticks the PRONGS in my mouth…" he nodded and started petting Viper's face with the back of his free hand, "and now you see why people like YOU make a guy like me sick to my stomach…"

"You're crazy!" Viper shouted at him as best he could, "You're fuckin' crazy!"

"I'm not" his voice dropped to a croak and he got very stiff, "No. I'm no-t…"

A moment of silence passed when a blade popped out of the Joker's shoe and he sent his foot forwards, nailing Viper in the stomach and nearly falling over in the process. Viper coughed on the ground cradling his bleeding abdomen and the Joker just watched satisfactorily, nodding along and laughing that cackle which terrified people because it was so choked and manic. And as Viper tried to balance himself on his hands, two growling Rottweiler's joined the Joker's side and with a wave of the arm and a clicking noise the Joker sent them forwards at full speed.

"Go! Get him!" he shouted at them both and Viper SCREAMED at the barking attack dogs built like small cars running at him.

"NO! NO! NO! NOOOO!"

They ripped at his limbs first, one ripping apart his arm and the other his leg. The Joker happily watched the process and nodded along, barring his teeth and shouting at the dogs.

"GET HIM! Rip his fucking throat out!" he growled at the two purebreds and Minx cringed from where she was standing. The dogs literally tore Viper limb from limb, finishing the job with one tearing apart his face and the other pulling out his throat. The Joker knelt in front of Viper and ended it by giving him a Columbian Necktie. "And between the two of us…" he knelt close to Viper's mauled and ripped-off face and nodded, "I think this is a MUCH better look on you!" he cackled nefariously and placed a hand over one of the dog's heads so it could lick his face, "Good boy…!" he nodded with a trace of a kissy face and let Fugaboo actually lick his face, "Good BOY…! GOOD boy!" What stood by a bit dejectedly, so with a smile the Joker extended the other arm so What could lick his hands too, "You too" he waved What closer and rubbed noses with it, the wet nose of What which was covered in blood actually taking the makeup off the Joker's nose and making it a big red dot…like a clown.

Minx covered a hand over her face and silently cried while staring not only at the Joker's little lovefest with the dogs, but what had just happened in general. She knew he was aware of Viper trying to kill her and all that, but never once did she think it bothered him that badly. That was something which would bother Jack…not the Joker.

Sniffling and sucking it up, Minx smiled fondly and crept up behind him as he knelt petting the dogs for a moment. Her little arms found their way around his neck and a big kiss was planted to his temple. Surprisingly he sat there and took it; licking his lips a moment and just letting her hold him from behind. She moved the dirty green hair aside to speak into his ear as huskily as she could.

"You know your scars did not come from that" she kissed his ear several times before gently nibbling down his jaw and stopping at his chin, keeping a hand on his face so his neck stood craned and giggling while poking the clown dot on his nose, "I love you…" her lips curled and she licked her finger before wiping the blood away, "and you look silly."

"Silly?" he frowned and shook his head, "It's war paint."

"War paint…" she scoffed and floated upside down at eye-level so her hood fell backwards and her hair swept the floor, "Blood is icky and gross. NOT paint of war."

"Blood…" he said with a hint of aggravation, "is what keeps you alive" he pushed to his feet and trickled a gloved hand down her throat as the dogs moved alongside him and Minx flipped upright before landing and jogging to catch up with him and take his hand.

"What are you doing tonight?"

"Need I remind you my stance on plans…" he pointed out with a bit of a skip in his step before flinging a Joker card towards Viper's body and taking her hand once more, "Until I think of something, nothing for now."

"Well then" she shrugged sweetly and hugged his arm, "Are you hungry? I've had a hankerin' for chinks lately."

"And what?" he pulled her onto a sidewalk, "Your pretty boyfriend refuses to let you consume anything other than fine dining…?"

"NO…" she rolled her eyes and fixed his hair since his hand was rising to do so (it was a nervous tick), "more like my TRISHA ANNE will not eat anything that I like because it has fat stuff in it"

"Why did I even bother"

"Pleaseeee?" her glowing eyes got really big as she begged, "Please, please, pretty please I will pay it is no big fucking deal I will pay"

"So" he waved her forwards and shrugged, "get your damn chink food, I don't care."

"I don't wanna eat alone" she stamped her foot and folded her arms across her ample chest. He rolled his eyes and licked around his mouth for a second before sighing.

"What if I told you I wasn't hungry for that?"

"I do not care" she shrugged and hugged his arm, "I want it."

"How badly?" whether she realized it or not he was flirting with her.

She looked around absently before slowly nodding her head, "Pretty bad."

"Hm…" he smiled and took her tiny hand in his, "enough to pay me in sexual favors?"

A clawed hand reached up and skimmed through his hair before delivering a long hard kiss, "MINE" they kissed again, "I love you."

…

They ended up getting Chinese in probably the worst part of Gotham, and it was only possible because Minx wore the Joker's jacket and ordered as the Joker stood outside in a small alley with the Rottweiler's. He should have known better. Mindy's favorite type of food had always been Chinese, and he never really cared too much for it. If he did eat it he was mainly appeasing her because he was a male and that was his curse. He could act out as much as he pleased, but at the end of the day he was more whipped than the dogs…and the demon from hell knew it.

The pair sat on top of a closed dumpster with the brown bag between them and the dogs lying on the ground below. The picky bastard was literally poking his plastic fork around the plate while she contently ate with chopsticks. At first she thought it was cute because she was so used to his eating habits…but then being a woman settled in fast.

"Must you spear like a hunting-gathering Mesopotamian?"

"Why?" he said with a mouthful of white rice, "I hate everything."

"Umm" her eyes dropped so she'd look him in the eye and she frowned, "how about because it is disgusting to eat that way when we have drastically evolved over the years from our caveman relatives-"

He curled his lips in and twitched out for a moment before almost dropping his little tray, "I'm sorry, Miranda, am I BOTHERING you in any way by eating catmeat?"

"CAT?"

He smirked before nodding and poking into a piece of broccoli and throwing it over his head for the dogs since he hated it, "A lot of the Orientals substitute poultry with cat meat because it's similar and much cheaper to obtain"

Her eyes widened and she almost looked sick as he motioned to her tray.

"I never allowed you to order chicken for a reason."

Minx noticed she was eating sesame beef and not sesame chicken. It had become such habit for her not to order chicken at Chinese restaurants she hardly recognized she did it anymore.

"Look at this…" the Joker motioned towards their setting and chuckled dryly, "LOOK at everything I have to offer you!"

"Twenty-four years you are my night sky" she shrugged and chewed on a piece of beef thoughtfully, "I do not see what difference another twenty-four thousand will make."

"Oh" he nodded along dubiously and licked his lips, seemingly looking at her but his eyes were a bit further up, "so YOU'RE telling ME…" he chewed on something in his tray for a moment before swallowing and speaking again, "Wayne's…" he made a clicking sound and leaned closer to her, "MONEY…doesn't interest you in the least?"

"I'm Mindy fucking Stratus what money do I need?" she replied a bit coldly with pouted lips and narrowed eyes, "He looks out for me…" she answered the unasked question before deepening her voice significantly, "he looks out for our children"

He did visibly flinch at that but she didn't care.

"I'll have you know" she waved a chopstick his way and nodded gravely, "my credentials for boyfriend are much more practical than you think"

"And what does that information do for me, Miranda Marie? Huh?" he shrugged and lolled his head against the brick wall before dropping it to her shoulder and keeping it gently on there.

"Lets you know that me and the babies are safe if you give a good fuck."

He twitched out before licking his lips and grabbing a beer bottle to take a long swing and smash it, though she didn't budge.

"Are you trying to intimidate me? Because it ain't workin'."

"If you weren't aware that I won't kill you things may swing down a different avenue"

"And why will you not kill me?" she leaned close to his face and brushed her lips against his before popping more beef in her mouth and chewing, "Oh, that is right-"

"I'm SLEEPING with you, Kitten"

She actually dug her chopsticks in his rice before snuggling the head which was rested on her shoulder, "You fucking WORSHIP me and do not even PRETEND that you do not! I have been in love with you since we were five FUCKING years old"

"See this is where we start fighting…" his eyes widened and he nodded along, "I was actually ENJOYING our little…" he waved a hand and shrugged, "A-LONE time…be-before you decided to be a woman."

"It is my job to nag you I am your wife"

"I don't CARE if it's your job" he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, "it's annoying and I would GREATLY appreciate it if you'd-"

"You would miss me if I died" she snuggled him and kissed his throat, "And why the FUCK are you without a cell phone or mean of communication for me to find you?"

"I don't have a NAME, Kitten" he reminded her with a hand through his hair and a furrow of the brow, "What would I do with a damn cell phone anyway?"

"Find me" she shrugged and began to play with the gloved fingers on his left hand, "Bruce and I are gonna live together"

"You've told me to the point of nausea, Kitten" he wrinkled his nose, "Do you think…" he nodded along for a moment before licking his lips and beginning to fiddle with her fingers, "that if I really was determined to get to you…" he frowned, "that Wayne's palace walls could hold me back?"

She blushed madly and dropped her eyes before shaking her head.

"Hell, the god damn Vietcong couldn't stop me"

"You'd blow them up" she smirked and elbowed him swiftly, "Tryggy's got a bit a' your pyromania…" they looked each other in the eye and she giggled, "he does that flame thing" she flickered her fingers through the air and giggled, "over the stove like you did in chemistry with the Bunsen burners and got Saturday detentions…!"

"I passed that class for you" he reminded her with a pointed finger and she giggled, blushed, and nodded.

"On the days you felt like showin' up" she responded wryly when he gave her a look and shook his head.

"Remember all those LABS I completed because you didn't do jack shit?" She nodded. "And the TESTS that I made you sit next to me for and copy?" She nodded and suddenly he waved her off. "Neither of us did a damn homework assignment"

"That was BULLSHIT" she was eating from his tray and not saying a thing about it. Helen Keller as it seemed, Mindy tended to share food with the ones she adored the most.

_A sixteen-year-old brunette Mindy stared at the periodic table as her lab partner and fiancée decided to be an ornery little shit by turning the flame up on the burner in front of them as high as it could go and sticking his fingers in and out with ease._

"_JACK…!" her eyes bugged and she reached to grab for him, "Be CAREFUL, don't get hurt!"_

_He could only chuckle and light a cigarette off the flame before sticking it in his mouth. That, more than anything, made Mindy gasp and clamber for his hands to put the cigarette out._

"_Kitten" he snickered and kissed the top of her head when the teacher caught sight of the two most irritating lovebirds followed by the inevitable which caught the entire class's attention. _

"_JACK ANDREW NAPIER!"_

_Mindy cringed and hugged her fiancée when Jack accidentally dropped his cigarette into the flame from fright and created a big gust into the air which set the alarms off and activated the sprinklers._

"We are SUCH assholes" she shook her head and kissed his gloved fingers, "Speaking of…" frowning she pulled two fortune cookies out of the bag and tossed one to him, yawning as he cracked his neck to both sides and snagged the cookie out of mid-air, "Asshole Chinamen always give me the shittiest fortunes."

"I don't eat this crap unless I'm with YOU" he looked a tad sleepy, which she adored greatly. There were times he'd go almost forty-eight hours with absolutely no sleep and it made him conk out during the day quite often. "And I've got news for you…" he nodded with a furrowed brow, "if you think Wayne's staying with you tonight he's got-"

"Read my cookie" she gave him the small little piece of paper and adjusted her position so she nestled under his chin snugly, planting a big kiss under his jaw and waiting for him to crack his knuckles and lick his lips with a pout before beginning to read.

"'Where there's a WILL, there's a way'" he was too busy snickering to notice how angry she looked, "Laaaaaame."

"NO!" she caught his attention, "It does NOT say that! My beautiful cookie does NOT say that lame-ass piece of shit on it! No way!"

"WAY…!" he nodded with wide eyes before handing her the paper, "What were you expecting to FIND in there, Kitten?"

"I dunno!" she shrugged, "How about 'too many cooks spoil the broth'?"

"WHAT?" the dog looked up when the Joker waved him off in aggravation, "Not YOU…!"

"Or 'a stitch in time saves nine'?"

"Just out of curiosity" the Joker shrugged a bit meekly and grimaced slightly at her, "do you have any real idea of what EITHER of those two could possibly mean?"

"YOU read, Mr. I-somehow-tend-to-never-get-shitty-fortunes"

He held the little paper to his face and his eyes widened in shock for a moment, only sending a rocket up Minx's ass tenfold and she was jumping all over him to find out what it said.

"Ooo! Read it read it what's it say what's it say?" she nodded at him with wide eyes for an answer when the Joker smirked.

"'Help! I am being held prisoner in Chinese bakery!'" he nearly dropped the paper he was laughing so hard, though Minx was cross.

"HELL! NO!" she grabbed at him, "That does NOT say that! Cookie does NOT say that shit! JACK!" she smacked his arm and he stared at it before laughing at the pain too, "You lying son of a BITCH that was NOT the fucking cookie!"

"Yes it was!" he held his hands up defensively though again she didn't buy it.

"NO! That means that YOU" she narrowed her eyes and poked his chest, "got a shitty fortune!"

"Now" he tilted his head lazily and tried to look all neutral, "what would ever make you think I would say tha-"

"If you were forced to make up communist cookie factories then OBVI you are a LIAR! READ the fucking cookie or I will not shut up all ni-"

"Please…!" he cringed and held both hands up quickly, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head, "don't…"

"Then read."

He barred his teeth at her for a measly second before dramatically smoothing out the paper and sighing as he read, "'Marriage lets you annoy one SPECIAL person for the rest of your life'…" he nodded along to that, "Amen."

Looking to the right he noticed she still wasn't entirely convinced and he shrugged.

"What?" the dog looked up, "NOT you."

Minx giggled while leaning up and digging her claws into his green vest, finding his mouth and gently parting his dried lips with her tongue. A hand of his ran over her chest apathetically and dropped because he wasn't fazed by it. It was a silicone implant. Before Mindy became Mindy Stratus she was completely flat-chested and he didn't care…but that never seemed to matter to her, what he thought. The little screwball he knew since they were five had thick wavy brown hair, no chest, a little bump in the bridge of her nose, and never touched makeup. Now he dealt with Rockstar Malibu Barbie. It was a funny world they lived in; what society did to someone so fucking beautiful.

* * *

_"O sun, to tell thee how I hate thy beams t__hat bring to my remembrance from what state I fell, how glorious once above thy sphere."_  
_— John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	28. Chapter 28: I'm Here Now

**A/N: Thank you thank you :)!**

"It's amazing" Mindy sighed and kept her arms hooked under the Joker's as they lied in her bed later that night, kissing his bare shoulders and tracing over the clawmarks she'd previously made on the smooth beige skin.

"Kitten…" he rasped from lying over her, too focused on the physical activity to listen, as usual. He was a much better listener than most men were, he just happened to be very good at both hiding it and multitasking. He never liked to appear lower than someone, his ego wouldn't allow it, and to him listening to a woman was one of those things which lowered his rank.

"You have not talked about Batsy once all night"

Knowing fully well that he hadn't, he lifted his eyes to the ceiling and nodded off a second before looking back down at her and getting in her face fondly, "THAT'S because" his nose rubbed against hers and his high pitch dropped to an almost sensual groan, "you're just too much fun."

"You love me" with a single hand she brushed the long poorly-dyed greenish hair from his face and tried to wipe the makeup off since he was getting sweaty.

"And YOU…" if he eluded the three words she was trying to get out of him for years now any longer she'd kill him, "have yet to bring up Prince Charming"

"No prince" she shook her head and gave him a kiss, "I like my froggy, thank you."

"You HAVE my one condition…" his beige fingers stroked the icy pale skin on her face and his breathing grew more haggard the closer he got to releasing.

"And what will you do if I marry him?" her lips trailed all over his face and planted kisses in every possible location, "Kill me?"

Dropping his weight on her slightly (he was only around 160 pounds) he laughed and shook his head as if she were half retarded, "KILL YOU? Why would I ever wanna KILL you? I mean" he ran a hand through his hair, "are you THAT self-absorbed to assume I would come after YOU?"

"Why not?" she shrugged as he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Kitten…" he licked his lips before debating dropping his head to the crook of her neck, "Kitten, I've never even HIT you, or is that your angle…?" he cocked his head dangerously and she frowned in confusion, "You're turning me into a monster so everyone can feel SORRY for you," he smiled in a way that was so frightening she clung to him tighter, "You want them to feel SORRY for having to put up with a guy like ME for twenty-four years…"

"That's NOT true" she growled and barred her teeth, practically moving to slap him, "It's NOT true and you KNOW it's not fucking true I put you on SUCH a fucking-"

"I don't know about YOU, but" he licked his lips and shook his head while sweeping a forearm behind her head, "most people actually ENJOY this." She shot him a glare so he backed his upper body from hers a bit and nodded sheepishly, "Just wanted to make sure you knew that"

"Do not talk" frowning she grabbed his chin and they kissed until she began to scream from climax.

"Sh sh sh sh!" his fingers slid into her mouth to muffle the cry and she sucked on them before trying to catch her breath and deliver kisses to them.

With a gasp Amber shot up in her bed and shivered at the sound of her mother screaming like that, padding down the hallways towards the master bedroom where a light was glowing from underneath the door and the handle was locked.

"Mommy?" Amber gasped and knocked on the door as frantically as she could.

Mindy gasped from underneath the Joker and half-sat up while keeping her arms twined around his neck. His reaction wasn't much more pleasant.

"Oh hell…" the Joker stared at the door with a bit of a jolt down his spine.

"Mommy!" Amber knocked on the door harder and started to panic, "MOMMY! Mommy Mommy are you okay? Are you okay, Mommy?"

"'Mommy, Mommy' my god shut it up!" he growled only to be smacked square in the chest with a pair of his old boxers. Not only had Mindy slipped out from under him, but she was digging in all of his clothes for him before putting a plain black long-sleeved shirt of his on that had basically become a nightgown because of her height. The sleeves were rolled to her elbows and she swallowed hard before scrambling for the lock on the door.

"Ambie!" panting she flung the door open and flipped her hair over her head so she could clamp a hand in her scalp and get a better view of her oldest child, "Ambieloo, Ambie-baby what's wrong? What's the matter?" she was practically the same height as the lanky child so there was no need to drop to her knees, but Amber's ice-blue eyes which matched her mother's were welled up beyond belief and her plump lips were quivering with fear.

"Mommy…!" she wept threw her arms around her mother's chest, meanwhile the Joker knew there was no out so he tried to wipe off whatever makeup he could with a sweaty palm. Scrubbing his mouth was always the hardest, but Mindy had all sorts of lotions and crap in there so he just tried the caramel-mocha scent since it was closest in range before smearing it everywhere.

"Ambie" Mindy frowned and began skimming her tiny fingers through the thick tresses of blonde which fell to Amber's hips and waved much like the Joker's, "What is the matter? Tell Mommy, I cannot help you if you do not tell me"

"You screamed" Amber sniffled and reached up to touch her mother's face, "I heard you SCREAM, I did!"

"No babyboo, I am okay" she nodded with a reassuring smile, though Amber wasn't entirely convinced.

"Is Bruce here?" Amber was already peering into the room to try and find her mother's boyfriend, but that wasn't exactly what she found at all.

"Ambie-" immediately Mindy went to block the doorway but the six-year-old lit up like Times Square when the beige-skinned man with green hair but clearly blonde roots stepped out of her mother's bathroom wearing a pair of his old boxers that she'd seen her mother wearing quite often. A Glasgow grin was seared into his cheeks beginning at the corners of his mouth but the baby didn't even notice them. There was one thing on her mind when she gazed upon the bare-chested man and one thing only.

"DADDY?"

He froze. He didn't even know her name.

"DADDY! DADDY!" she wailed while sprinting his way without any permission from her mother because she didn't care. To her he was just as beautiful as he was on the wedding home video.

"KIT-TEN…" he growled at Mindy but there was nothing she could do anymore. The child's arms were in a deathlock around his waist and he twitched uncomfortably before looking to Mindy for help. Amber was sobbing so hard it actually hurt his hips because her grip intensified with every whimper.

"DADDY DADDY YOU'RE NOT DEAD! YOU'RE NOT DEAD!" her head tilted back as she looked into the dark brown eyes with flicks of green laced in there, her face so red from tears it was painful for Mindy to look at, "Mommy said you were with the angels, she said you were with the angels!"

"Eh" he ran a hand through his hair and drummed up a really good lie, "well" lost for a name he glared at Mindy until 'Amber' was mouthed, "Anna"

"AM-BER"

"AM-ber, Amber, yes," he licked his lips and patted the top of her head, "Amber…"

She nodded at him drearily for a moment before burying her face into his torso and bawling her eyes out. Having a little kid sniveling at him that way wasn't something he particularly enjoyed.

"Jack…" Mindy's voice became stone and his eyes lifted reluctantly, "tell her. Tell her where her father was for the past six years instead of helping Mommy raise her sisters and brother."

"Miranda" he snarled but she didn't give a good damn.

"Where did you go, Daddy?" Amber panicked with a frantic shake of the head and a choked sob, "Don't you love us? We love you Daddy we love you! Mommy talks about you all the time, she does! She wants you to come stay forever please Daddy!" she coughed and shook her head, "Don't leave, Daddy! Don't die, don't go anywhere please Daddy!"

"Ohh shush shush shush shush shush…" he ran a hand down her cheek with a grimace before formulating words, "Anne-"

"AMBER" Mindy growled once more.

His hands went up defensively and he smacked his lips a couple times before correcting himself, "AM-ber…"

"YES? Daddy, YES? What is it? What is it, Daddy? I'll do anything PLEASE!" she sobbed into his bare abdomen, "PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"

"Hey!" he grabbed her chin and forced her eyes up, "look at me…"

Amber looked up with wide clouded eyes and he nodded satisfactorily.

"Look at me, alright?"

Amber nodded, so he licked his lips and shifted a bit before lifting his eyes to the ceiling and back down at her.

"DADDY made a very special deal with the angels for one night only-"

"NO you're not!" she stamped her foot and blubbered, "You're the JOKER!"

Mindy's hand went to her mouth and she leaned on the doorframe, expecting the worst to spew from his mouth as usual so immediately she covered her tracks, "I did not tell her" she shook her head, "Honest. No one knows"

"I found it MY-SELF!" Amber screamed at the both of them before looking to her father in dismay, "WHY did you let Mommy tell us you died? WHY does Mommy have to lie that you died, Daddy? We love you, Daddy we love you!"

"Honey" he interrupted with a cock of his head and a plastered smile, "What did curiosity do to the cat?"

"Don't you DARE…!" Mindy growled and immediately extended her claws, making Amber gasp and cling to her father, who pointedly let Mindy hiss and her eyes to glow into the feline slit.

"NOW do you see?" he motioned towards Mindy and then himself, "Do ya SEE why I had to hide?"

Amber shook her head.

"Oh" he cocked his head thoughtfully and leaned down to brush some of her blonde locks behind her small ear, "You mean Mommy didn't TELL you…?"

Amber shook her head stubbornly. The Joker exhaled in exasperation while Mindy was impatiently waiting for him to crank out a good lie. The ugly truth wasn't something the babies deserved to hear as to why their father was forever absent, 'dead' in the eyes of the law.

"You see…" he rocked from foot to foot and sat down on Mindy's bed with the tall skinny child in his lap, "Daddy…" he was already scoring points with Mommy Dearest, "is a very, VERY bad man" he nodded, "a VERY bad man…" he pouted his lips and made a clicking sound while getting close to her face, "with a lot of bad blood with the 'peo-ple' of Gotham…"

"What about Los Angeles?" she frowned and reached up to touch the scars on his face without fear, "We live in Los Angeles"

"I know that" he nodded at her before frowning and furrowing his brow paternally, "but if my enemies were to find out that I have" he reached to poke her nose with an index finger, "YOU…" licking his lips he nodded along, "and your brother and sisters…" he curled his lips a moment and dropped his eyes, "and MOM-MY…" he frowned and shook his head, "I could never forgive myself."

"You're not a bad man" Amber frowned while tracing her fine fingers along the scars on his cheeks, and he nodded along reluctantly.

"Oh, but I am sweetheart" he nodded with wide eyes, "I've done 'bad' things…un-SPEAK-able things…"

Her eyes drifted to the framed photograph of her parents at sixteen which sat on her mother's nightstand, "You weren't always bad"

"Bad men are born and bred everyday" he sighed while turning her attention from the picture, "It's all a matter of where and WHEN"

"So you don't hate us?" she frowned and ran her fingers along his face, smiling gently as he took her hand in his and gave it a polite kiss.

"What have any of you ever done for me to hate you besides exist?"

WHACK!

He shrieked with laughter turning to see Mindy had roundhouse slapped him in the back of the head.

"Are you TRYING to give me a concussion or did that roundhouse come by accident?" he turned and quickly reached out to pinch Mindy's stomach, making her double over and yelp before whacking him again. He laughed.

"I don't know" Amber shrugged and wrapped her arms snug around his bare chest, dropping her head on his left pectoral to listen to the steady pattering of his heart, "why would you leave us forever if you loved us?"

"Hey…!" he frowned and lifted her chin, "I'm here NOW, aren't I?"

A look spread along Amber's beige-skinned face and she became very cross, "You missed our birthdays"

"Why? How old are you?"

"Six"

"Six?" he mouthed to her and she nodded at the unofficially asked question.

"Mommy always told me that you died but I knew that was wrong because Chelsea is three so you cannot be dead before I was born but have five babies with Mommy"

"And you're very smart for figuring that out" he nodded while bouncing her on his lap and Mindy nodded with quite the soft glaze across her normally piercing stare.

"She gets it from YOU" she smirked a bit as his face blanked before kissing his temple, "Her looks come from me though"

"How much would you be willing to wager on that declared statement?" he sniggered a bit as she shot him the finger and sauntered into the bathroom to wash the Minx makeup off her face.

"Daddy…?" Amber took a deep breath against his chest and sighed, waiting for him to look at her and nod to let her know it was her turn to speak, "Will you stay?"

"Well sweetheart" he sighed and decided to bite the bullet with his wife, "as long as MOMMY doesn't agree to marry Bruce WAYNE I'll make an appearance"

"FUCK you to dangle that in front of me when everyone knows it's BULLSHIT!" she scowled before leaving the room in a huff, which left the Joker all alone with Amber.

"Ooooo look at her GO!" he chortled with a shake of the head before smoothing Amber's hair, "Mommy's a pain in my ass, that's what she is…"

"Funny" Amber grabbed his chin, "she says the same thing about you" with that she kissed him on the lips and hugged his neck affectionately, which made him frown and cock his head at her before moving her backward to lick his lips and look her in the eye.

"I don't FRIGHTEN you in any way…?" he pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes in befuddlement for a moment when she shrugged and leaned to kiss him again.

"You're beautiful, Daddy"

He glanced towards the picture on the nightstand and made contact with the way he used to be, giving it a few nods before snorting, "Maybe ten YEARS ago…"

"When they made you the Joker?" Amber pet his face and he shook his head stiffly at her before croaking.

"Nobody made me anything."

…

Some hours later the Joker paced about the ground floor near the balcony of Mindy's penthouse with sleeping Amber in his arms, her head rested on his bare shoulder. Frowning after petting the Rottweiler's on the floor, Mindy swallowed hard and approached him quickly, hugging him from behind and pressing a firm kiss to his spine so he didn't move.

"Thank you" her hushed whisper cracked a bit and she nodded against his back, "I know you did not mean any of it and were lying to make her feel better, but thank you."

"I thought it was pretty crafty myself" he nodded while adjusting his hold on Amber a bit so he could turn and face Mindy as best he could. Her eyes went to their sleeping eldest child before kissing her forehead and she frowned at the Joker.

"Why can't you stay with us?" she sniffled and hugged him tight, "We love you, Jack, you KNOW you are safe with-"

"'Safe'" he mocked with a lick of his lips and a roll of his eyes, "What is 'safe', Kitten? It's a myth"

"They need their FATHER, Jack"

"For WHAT?" he hissed and shook his head with clenched teeth, "WHAT do I have to offer them, Kitten? WHAT could I POSSIBLY do or GIVE"

"We don't need MONEY, you parasite" she snarled before eyeballing him and shaking her head, "They need you to BE THERE for them"

"And do WHAT?" he shrugged, "Read them a god damn bedtime story? What do you WANT from me, Miranda Marie?" he waved a hand at her and growled, "They don't need a PROVIDER being you've got that covered"

"WHY are you so against raising your own children?" she barked with a slap to her thigh, "They are OURS! They belong to US!" her teeth barred and she spoke through her teeth next, "When we were nineteen there was NOTHING you wanted more than to have our ba-"

"And look how that turned out!" he said in such a manic high she backed a step, "LOOK…" he licked his lips and adjusted his grip on Amber because she was a tree, "how 'happy' we are, RIGHT KITTEN?"

"I TOLD YOU to be a god damn engineer you're so fucking SMART, Jack! You're INGENIUS!"

"Ohhhhh…" he nodded sarcastically and approached her slowly since she'd backed a step, "and knowing that every penny I ever brought home from sixteen-hour work days at that plant went to YOU and YOUR medical bills because you were born a god damn schizophrenic"

"And you developed it in your early twenties" she shrugged and slapped a hand to her thigh, "Two birds of a fucking feather…" she frowned and touched his face with her palm, "and I can take care of you now" she nodded with a weak smile, "I can take care of you forever, Jack, I can!"

"Because you're HAPPY" he nodded while tangling a hand in her scalp cruelly, "Living your DREAM, right?" he licked his lips and shifted his weight from foot to foot, "The DREAM that you had since you learned how to talk, the DREAM that made you cut class and sneak over to the church to sit at the piano, the DREAM which I skipped meals and saved up for a YEAR to send you into that god damn city to get spotted"

"And I thank you for that EVERY DAY, Jack! Have I EVER been ungrateful? Jack" she grabbed his long arms and draped her fingers over the lean muscles, "I LIVE for you…this" she shrugged and motioned to the penthouse around her, "I'll drop everything and leave in a second, Jack!" her eyes darted about before shrugging, "We can go to Mexico, we can! We can start over, we can take the babies and just leave all this BULLSHIT you don't have a name anyway you burned your fingertips off! We can be whoever we want!" she sniffled and nuzzled his arm, "We can get a huge house on the beach and no one will find us" she shook her head happily though the look on his face was anything but similar.

"And what's the FUN in that?" he asked her apathetically with a shrug, "What's so TERRIBLE here that you feel the need to run away forever?"

Mindy started crying again so he sighed with an eye roll and ran a hand through her hair.

"I'm a full-time criminal, Kitten" he nodded while leaning very close to her face and shaking his head with a hanging jaw, "I don't have time for anything else."

"You make time for me…"

"I…" he waved a hand in her direction before shrugging, "Kitten."

Mindy's hair fell into her face and she scoffed the ground for a moment when Mallow Mars and Peking began curling around her ankles to comfort her, so with a sniffle up went Peking and Mallow Mars into her arms. Only after kissing the noses on both cats did she glance up to see the Joker just staring at her, so she furrowed her brow for him to speak.

"Do they look like me?"

She stared at him for a long moment before shrugging, "See for yourself."

"What'd you name them without asking me first?"

"You were not around to ASK" she responded stiffly before continuing, "Twins are Thorn and Scarlett. Thorn has the African Serval that is how you can tell them apart. Trygger is your son and Chelsea is the baby"

"The retarded one" he clarified when she balled a fist to smack him so he backed off.

"Au-TIS-tic, yes" she nodded with a scowl, "THAT is what happens when two schizophrenics copulate. I blame me" she swallowed and shook her head at that, "but it is both of us."

"Where you hiding them?" he checked under the table when she rolled her eyes and hooked an arm around his to pull him upstairs.

"Their rooms" she whispered before holding a finger to her lips and floating a couple inches off the ground towards Tryg's room since it came first, "You wanna see alone?"

"Are you insane?" he raised an eyebrow before shaking his head, "Don't you DARE leave me alone in that setting again."

"You are their daddy" she shrugged indifferently and folded her arms across her chest, "they deserve to know why you abandoned them."

"Which one is this again?" he whispered a bit obnoxiously when she elbowed him in the gut and pulled open Tryg's door.

"Your son" her eyes narrowed before turning the high-hat lights on dim so they could both step in and survey the baby's face, "He is four."

"Well THAT'S strange…" he noted with raised eyebrows when she pouted her lips and looked at him, "you cloned me, didn't you?" he chuckled darkly and shook his head, "You thought one of me wasn't enough"

She just turned to him and said, "I will never let him become you."

The light in Thorn and Scarlett's room made both twins stir a bit, and though it was hard to tell for the parents, the twins both opened their eyes and could plainly see their mother and who most definitely resembled their father arguing in the doorway, and once Amber was spotted in his arm the two of them tumbled out of the bed and ran to him, which only freaked him out even more and then Tryg woke up.

"DADDY? DADDY! DADDY! DADDY!" there was so much shouting around him the Joker was practically swamped with little people clambering for him. Amber had woken up on his shoulder but didn't move a muscle beyond digging her fingers into his skin to hold him as closely as she could.

"Daddy WOW!" Tryg grabbed his shoulders, and just marveled completely overlooking the scars. They all didn't even seem halfway fazed. "Mommy said you were DEAD!"

"Are you dead, Daddy?" Thorn.

"Are you an angel like Mommy said?" Scarlett.

"Are you a ZOMBIE?" Tryg.

"You stink!" Scarlett.

"Did you rise from the grave?" Thorn.

"Are you alive?" Tryg.

"Do you like puppies?" Scarlett.

"What's your favorite puppy?" Thorn.

"We missed you LOTS, Daddy!" Tryg.

"Are you a ghost or a poltergeist?" Scarlett.

So many different things were being directed at him, he actually had to catch his breath and try to figure out how to get it all out in one bang, and he did. First he looked to Thorn, "No" then Scarlett, "No" then Tryg, "No" Scarlett again, "My apologies" now Thorn, "No" Tryg next, "Yeah" Scarlett once again, "No" now Thorn, "Dead puppies" Scarlett again, "and no, I'm not dead Mommy was kidding."

All three gasped at once and gawked at him excitedly.

"So you're staying FOREVER?" Scarlett gasped while hugging him tight and running her fingers through his oily hair, "How do you wash this out, Daddy? It looks terrible."

"Well…" he shifted uncomfortably and shrugged, "I like it."

"Hmph" she turned her nose up at him and shook her head, "What do YOU know?"

"Remember, Scar" Thorn reminded her maternally with a point of the finger; "Boys are STUPID and never listen to shit."

He could only sigh dramatically while shaking his head, "Mommy told you that…?"

The twins exchanged glances before nodding simultaneously, "Yes."

"Why are you naked?" Tryg frowned while noticing his father was only in a pair of boxers.

"I'm not" he shook his head but Tryg wasn't listening.

"Mommy says we're not allowed"

"Mommy likes to bend the RULES for Daddy" the Joker nodded when a handful of his hair was yanked back and Mindy planted a kiss to his lips backwards before handing him a drowsy Chelsea on top of everyone else.

"Baby" she pointed to Chelsea before smiling weakly, "now you know everyone."

"NO!" Thorn startled the shit out of her father while sprinting to the bed and dragging a thirty-five pound Oxa towards him and shoving the Serval in his face, "THIS is OXA! She protects us from ANYBODY!"

"Does it…?" he looked to his daughter holding the Serval and made biting motions and noises when she shook her head with a giggle and pet his face.

"Only if you are trying to hurt us," she hugged Oxa before hugging him and helping Chelsea stand in his lap so she could feel all over his face, "But you are not because you're DADDY!"

He cracked a weak smile at that until Chelsea reached up and started pressing kisses all over his face, completely melting Mindy as he bit her miniscule fingers and gave her what Mindy would swear on their children's lives…a real smile. One she hadn't seen on him in ten years.

* * *

"_His form had yet not lost  
All her original brightness, nor appear'd  
Less than archangel ruin'd, and th' excess  
Of glory obscur'd"_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	29. Chapter 29: Robot Unicorn Attack

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

Police tape corded off the alley behind the Major Crimes Unit where Viper's slain corpse lay and reporters were shouting questions at the cops like crazy, who were busy trying to clean up the Joker's mess. Trish's face was saturated, but being it was part of her line of duty she knelt down and lifted the Joker card. Her large caramel eyes narrowed and she nearly crushed the card in her hand. Her teeth barred she was breathing so harshly.

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" Gordon held a hand to her shoulder. He knew Trish was his partner and decided to be a gentleman by sending Trish home early today. The department didn't particularly need her especially considering the state she was in.

Trish nodded stiffly and turned to leave when Detective Ramirez caught the Joker card in Trish's hand and frowned.

"Detective…" she said to Trish before motioning to the card which was clamped in the young woman's hand, "What is that?"

Trish's hand trembled but she didn't release, so Gordon was the one to remove the card gently from her hand and could only shake his head.

With a sigh he groaned, "Here we go again…"

…

"So let me get this straight…" Bruce swung a giggling Chelsea over his shoulder while walking alongside the gigantic Clydesdale freshly named Kahlua, who had not as much as a halter and Mindy on his back, "you show professionally?"

They were at Wayne Manor in the Palisades far past the carriage house. Mindy felt like horseback riding again and of course Bruce wanted Chelsea to come along. He had a point to prove with Mindy after all before she gave him the okay to move in together. He had swung by early that morning to bring the kids to school as well as take Mindy and Chelsea out to breakfast. He'd missed them terribly the night before, but Mindy apparently had plans.

"Grand Prix" Mindy nodded stiffly, obviously highly impressing him because his parents always had great interest in upper-level equitation.

"Isn't that like the Olympics?"

"World Equestrian Games" she tilted her head with a bit of a shrug, "Anything internationally ranked" she shrugged, "I also show in Puissance though" noticing the look on his face she clarified, "High jumping. Usually around seven feet."

"Under YOUR name…?" he wasn't exactly familiar with her so she shook her head with a bit of a mischievous grin.

"Snow White is my pseudonym and Prince Charming is my Cotton's pedigree name" she giggled and poked her tongue between her teeth, "He's a 15.2 hand white Arabian gelding that could never physically jump the heights that I make him do and I feel bad" she frowned, "I would like to buy a Warmblood of some nature so Cotton can get a break but do not have the time to go to breeder's and all that shit"

"That's highly impressive" he took her hand tightly, "Is that your sport of choice or are you a football fan?"

"OH no…!" she shook her head and chuckled with her tongue poking between her teeth, "I'm a god damn Canadian it's all about ice hockey."

He grinned at that so she continued.

"My husband though…" she raised a finger and pouted her lips with a smile, "he was from Australia, he came here when he was five"

"Oh really?"

"He had this DEEP low voice with a little bit of a rasp to it plus add the heavy-ass Australian accent and we get names like pygmy and kangaroo boy and he really did not care. What are your nationalities?" she pouted her lips in broad curiosity, and he took a moment to ponder it before shrugging.

"I'm pretty damn American" he kissed her hand and furrowed his brow before remembering, "Oh!"

Her eyes went round for him to continue.

"Scotland" he grinned, "I'm Scottish."

"Ahhh" she giggled and nodded along with curled lips, "A Scottish-American kazillionaire…"

"Something like that" he smirked and kissed her hand longer, "And you're the Grecian Polack from Canada"

"Yes!" she giggled with a big nod, "I am very ethno-centric that is why I was curious"

"You speak, right?" he frowned for clarification and she nodded yet again.

"Polish, Greek, and my English sucks shit but I am workin' on it."

"You don't really use contractions, I noticed"

"I do not really know how" she patted Kahlua's neck, "I am much much smarter than my English."

"You're a prodigy"

"I am in piano and vocals and guitar and harp, but I can teach myself anything"

"Your senses are quite sharp too" he allowed Chelsea to dig her hands in his hair and mess it up while stepping closer yet to the mobile animal, "You pick things up faster than any human"

She cringed at the real answer to that when 'Can't Be Tamed' blasted from her phone and thankfully she was saved by it.

"What would you like from my life?" she sighed the usual greeting, but the sounds on the opposite end made her cringe, "Oh, Jesus son of a Christ…!"

…

Mindy pulled Bruce's face down and they kissed for several long seconds in the doorway of her penthouse when he lifted her off the ground and she giggled wildly with her feet poking in the air.

"Thanks for watching her" she touched his face and nodded, "I really appreciate it"

He ran a hand through her hair gently before laying another big kiss on her, "Call me if you need anything, alright?"

"Mhm" licking her lips to savor the taste she nodded before kissing him again and touching his abs, "If she starts to get fresh just remember-"

"She won't be a problem" he smiled at Chelsea, and without a word further Mindy went upstairs into Trish's room and flopped down on the bed with her sobbing sister, wrapping her arms around her tight and just lying there on the bed.

…

Staring into her iPhone with a leopard print cover was Minx, hovering a bit above the ground in the ruins of downtown Gotham which was in the process of being reconstructed. The extremely hard concentration on Minx's part as her thumb moved constantly caught the attention of Harley Quinn, who sauntered over to hear probably the most horrible annoying 80's-themed song of her life and of course Miss Kitty knew every word.

"_When it's cold outside… Am I here in vain? Hold on to the night! There will be no shame" _

"Whatcha doin'?" Harley leaned over Minx's shoulder, but the feline was so concentrated on her little screen she couldn't pay attention.

"_Always I wanna be with you! And make believe with you! And live in harmony harmony oh love!" _a white unicorn with a rainbow mane and tail was galloping at top speed as Minx pressed buttons to make it jump from cliff to cliff and 'dash' through these stars and create rainbows.

Harley could only stare agape at the little game Minx seemed to be pouring her very soul into and shook her head, "What the hell is THAT?"

"Robot Unicorn Attack" Minx replied very shortly and kept her eyes glued forwards, her little unicorn galloping faster and faster every second.

Again, Harley's jaw hung and she could only shake her head, "…you WOULD."

…

Bruce was in the process of pulling his tie on for a dinner date with Mindy when a news broadcast switched out of nowhere and Alfred raised the volume.

"Master Wayne!" Alfred shouted and immediately Bruce was there in front of the plasma-screen TV surrounded by white couches.

The shot was of none other than Commissioner Gordon completely gagged and tied to a chair at the bottom of what looked like a chemical mixing cylinder…and ensue the laughing.

"Well look what the CAT dragged in!" the Joker's manic voice cracked while snickering, panning the shakily-held recording device towards the half-beast, who was very absorbed in her Robot Unicorn Attack and not paying attention. Annoyed though not showing it on-camera, he panned back to Gordon and beamed, "None other than COMMISSIONER Gordon…! Awwww how sweet!"

Gordon struggled so a gloved hand stuck out and began to pet his face.

"Ohh shush shush shush shush" he pulled the hand away and chuckled darkly, "YOU knew better than to lead your men anywhere near the Kitten, didn't you?"

The beat-up Gordon couldn't bring himself to answer or look anywhere near the camera.

"DIDN'T YOU?" he growled so sharply Minx died in the game because her unicorn hit a wall and blew up, so she was highly miffed.

Too weary to speak, Gordon hung his head when another voice caught attention of the camera.

"Got one more BIN, Mistah J!" Harley motioned like Vanna White towards the second vat where the Joker dipped the angle so a bunch of police officers came into view all tied up to chairs surrounded by Rottweiler's in the second vat.

"Oooohhhh!" the Joker pseudo-gasped, "What is THIS, huh? Gotham's finest?"

The officers all moaned through their gags and the dogs growled lowly.

"EASY boys!" Harley called from up top as the Joker switched positioning of the camera so it was on him.

"Batman…!" he licked his lips and nodded at the camera, "you have…FIVE" he licked his lips, "minutes…to find the Minx before I even TELL YOU how or IF you can SAVE any of them…" he shifted his weight and shook his head, "because if you DON'T…" he smirked and nodded, "they all die…oh" he pouted his lips and brightened, "and the timer starts NOW!" he pulled a gold stopwatch out of his pocket and pressed the button to activate the timer, "Good luck, Bat-breath!" he cackled and cut the footage out.

Alfred looked to the right to see that Bruce was already gone, "Godspeed, Master Bruce."

…

Staring out the vast dirtied windows of the chemical plant, the Joker paced back and forth a bit before turning and noticing that Minx was heavy into Robot Unicorn Attack on her iPhone and not flying out right away to be spotted by Batman.

"Kitten"

She looked up crossly because she was in the middle of a level.

"What's your score?" the music to that game was beyond corny and maddening; maddening to the point that he liked it.

"Um" she narrowed her glowing eyes and glanced at the screen, "So far I'm at forty-four thousand-ish and this is my second wish"

…

Batman raced through the streets on the Batpod dodging traffic like a madman trying to possibly locate Minx in the sky, but there was no sign.

…

"Kitten" he said a bit harsher and she shut the game reluctantly to put it in her bra, but he grabbed her wrist and took the phone out of her hand so he could stick it in her cleavage, "Here's the situation…"

Whether he realized it or not he completely brought the next part on himself as Minx smirked and answered, "Been to every nation…"

Yeah. He caught on fast, "Nobody's ever made me feel the way that you do"

"You know my motivation…"

"Given my reputation…"

"Please excuse me I don't mean to be rude"

"But tonight I'm fucking you" he finished calmly before getting back on point, though Minx was laughing so hard she was holding her breath not to cry, "You call me if he finds you, got it?"

"Stay obvious…?" she curled her lips in and he nodded.

"Try to be…" he paced about with a bit of a sigh, "don't want to spoil all the FUN, now do we?"

"Nope" she shook her head and went to leave when he grabbed her wrist and refused to let her fly up.

"You WATCH yourself!" he warned her quickly and she nodded, smiling a bit meekly when she was grabbed and kissed.

Of course she dragged it out as long as it physically could go, keeping one hand on his chest and the other in his unwashed hair while deepening it by the second when the inevitable happened. Harley glanced up to the platform and caught them in the early stages of making out, which was everything short of a bullet to her heaped-up heart. All kinds of hurt, betrayal, and injustice were swirling around in her mind all resulting in Miss Kitty's untimely and much-deserved death. How dare she…the whore.

Mid-kiss the Joker tapped Minx's butt twice and pushed her with a single hand, "Go."

…

Careening around every bend Batman drove himself insane when he spotted her. The little Minx in the sky…

"MINX!" he growled and naturally she turned around and flew more towards the moon so he could make her figure out before growling once more, "MINX!"

Throwing her arms out so her claws were flaunted, she laughed and flipped upside down in the air gleefully, "Now THERE'S a BAT MAN!" giggling she slipped the phone from her bra as he frantically glared at her and revved the throttle on the Batpod.

"MINX! WHERE ARE THEY?"

Pressing down button number one she dialed the Joker and giggled when he picked up, "I got him…!"

"VERY good…" his high-pitched laugh came from the other end, "you know what to do from here"

He already had hung up on her, highly irritating the half-beast.

"MINX!" Batman shrieked when she giggled and waved him off while sticking the iPhone back in her bra.

"RE-lax, Batsy!" waving him off she whirled upright and began flying forwards, "I already called in, you passed the time test let's GO!"

She launched forwards with Batman on her heels. Normally he would have decked her with a Batarang or hooked her ankle with a grapple hook, but now he was painstakingly placing his trust in the unstable feline to guide him towards something that was probably so horrible he couldn't bear to think about it. The Joker was famous for shit like this and it worried him sick. Minx turned, swerved, and at points made complete three-sixty's all to throw him off and at this point he wanted to strangle the cat because of that high-pitched giggle she'd emit whenever getting on his nerves. It was a sweet, childish laughter which came from an octave so high it hurt his ears because of the volume she'd do it at.

"Too SLOW, Batsy!" she'd taunt before rocketing herself forwards even more, Batman practically being wiped out from oncoming traffic as he tried to follow her, but she was flying so high if he wasn't constantly looking up he'd lose her. How she could fly in the first place was bothering him, but he didn't exactly have her on an autopsy table to study her genetic makeup.

…

"Come onnnn, come on, come on, come on…" the Joker stared at the time on the cell phone he had received Minx's call from before placing it back in his pocket and glancing out the window impatiently, "Stop being a pain in my ass, Kitten."

"I think she's LOST" Harley nodded from all the way on the opposite side of the plant where the officers were all being held hostage, "Miss Kitty ain't so good with-"

"Shut up…!" he moaned and shook his head, waving her off because he wasn't in the mood for it. If he couldn't deal with Minx there was NO way he could deal with anyone else.

…

Continuing to giggle maniacally Minx spurred herself to an even greater speed while zooming towards the chemical plant, where Batman popped a wheelie the moment she slipped into a crack and busted through the doors, stopping the Batpod dead and getting off when Minx found the Joker and grabbed his shoulders so he'd see what she brought home. He brightened with a clap of his hands together.

"You made it!" the Joker nodded from his spot atop a platform and cheered, "How KIND of you to accept my invitation"

"Quit with the mind games, Joker" Batman growled and clenched his fists, "We've been through this before…"

"And what harm will one more time do?" the Joker frowned and held out his hands, "I'm only trying to have a little FUN…!"

Minx plopped on the Batpod and curled up like a kitten, watching as Batman debated stepping closer to the Joker.

"HIYA, B-man!" that was Harley on top of a platform between what looked like two mixing cylinders. They were covered along with long lines of tubing. "So glad ya could MAKE it!"

"WHERE ARE THEY?" Batman growled and went to shoot up a grapple, but the Joker fearlessly stepped to the edge and raised his eyebrows with a sigh.

"See, I wouldn't do that" he licked his lips and shook his head with a shrug, "I mean sure, if ya want a fist fight with me then be my god damn guest, but uh…" he curled his lips and pointed to the two cylinders, "If you actually want to SAVE any of them I suggest you listen to me and you listen to me GOOD."

Batman quieted and impatiently awaited whatever fucked challenge the Joker was scheming.

"Standing right behind you over there are TWO cylinders normally used to mix…" he waved a hand and exhaled, "CHEMICALS…" he licked his lips and shook his head, "but today that's not all they're mixing, you see…ONE of them holds your good friend, GORDON…" he noticed the look of Batman's face, "Oh yeah, I knew you'd like that…" he nodded before motioning towards the other, "and over HERE we have a nice select group of Gotham's finest! Now…" he paused and cocked his head, "only catch is, one cylinder is going to die before you can get to them…and the other" he chuckled, "you'll be lucky if you get there at all!"

Batman's face blanked.

"Rules won't save your friends, here, Bat-breath" he shook his head and laughed, "You see, there's two slides you can choose to get to either group, and I give you that choice. GORDON'S demise can be prevented by you exalting yourself down a fifty-foot slide of razor blades as the tub slowly fills with alcohol. You don't get there in time…" he sighed and clenched his teeth with a grimace, "Gordon'll be drowned in isopropanal…but on the other hand…!" he drawled out and glanced the other way, "If you choose the fifty-foot slide of BLOOD and land into the cylinder containing a handful of my personal FAVORITE hungry pooches…you just might save the officers. You have ONE minute to complete either task and your minute begins…" he waved a hand while glancing at the stopwatch and looked up quickly, "NOW!"

"Pick FAST, B-man!" Harley taunted with a wave as Batman stared helplessly at both cylinders, making the Joker laugh his head off while pacing about watching. Minx looked up from Robot Unicorn Attack to see Batman hadn't decided, but up the grappling hook shot and he was being pulled towards the two entrances to the slides.

"Do we save one life over the lives of many useless, or do we keep the majority alive and kill the only one worth his own dead weight?" the Joker teased while keeping his arms at his sides, readying to laugh in anticipation when Batman debated the two slides in front of him in complete horror. Kill Gordon or kill a fleet of GPD? What kind of a fucked choice was that? He couldn't possibly let them both die, but letting one group die was just as bad.

"Are you kidding?" Minx lounged on the Batpod and shook her head with a yawn, "Go for the Commish…!" she murmured in disbelief and then covered a hand over her mouth as Batman jumped onto his armored front and began sliding down the fifty foot slide in all its twists and turns smothered by little razor blades slicing and sticking everywhere. He had been screaming the whole way down, and the Joker was tearing he was in such stitches.

"Oooo B-man…!" Harley cringed for him with a shake of the head and exchanged glances with Minx, who looked like she was going to be sick when Batman finally dropped all the way down to the bottom of the vat and expanded his cape to land safely. Gordon was gagged and tied to a chair, which he immediately removed and bent down so Gordon could see his face, horrified that he had been chosen over all those innocent officers.

A red light and alarm went off, which made Batman glance about in fear and the Joker cackle and almost bounce in place he was so excited, speaking over an intercom now inside the cylinder.

"Too SLOW, Bat-breath!" he cackled as Batman desperately tried to untie Gordon from the chair, which was bolted to the floor, "Hope you can swim!"

Alcohol began to pour in from all sides, soaking the two men and forcing them to gag when Batman's wounds were starting to get hit and he hissed in pain. The screams from the people in the opposite cylinder as the hungry dogs tore and ate at their flesh was unnerving, but what could anyone do? Gordon coughed and watched Batman try not to writhe around in pain when he by every right should have been. The alcohol was pooled at their calves already and Batman tried to free Gordon from the chair, pulling out a Batarang and snapping the cords before shooting up the grappling hook and hitching it to the end of the slide, now stuck with getting up that trail of razor blades.

Surveying the situation Minx realized that there truly was no way for Batman to win. No matter which he chose there was no way out…he was trapped.

"Hey!" immediately she flew up to the Joker and reluctantly he stopped laughing to look at her, "What the hell is THIS?" she motioned to the two cylinders and shrugged, "There's no way out!"

"Exactly" he nodded when she shook her head and scowled.

"NO! Are you NUTS?"

"No" he pulled her under an arm, "He just needs to learn how to…" his voice dropped with excitement, "improvise…!"

BOOM! BOOM! BAM BAM BAM BOOM! BOOM! BAM BAM BAM BOOM! BOOM! BAM BAM BAM BOOM! BOOM!

Batman was kicking away at the metal much to the trio's interest and SMASH! Out he came with Gordon and shot a grappling hook towards the Batpod, readying for a fight when the Joker motioned to Minx and she pounced on Batman from behind, grabbing his head between her feet and doing her little backflip in the air, but he was able to latch onto a railing and spear her on the thin metal, causing the half-feline to nearly throw up from impact and she swung a leg at an impossible straight angle to kick Batman in the face before extending her claws and dicing him everywhere she could. The razors sticking out from all over him were funny, but she had to be careful or get cut as well.

"Come on, Kitten…" the Joker nodded along when she roundhouse kicked Batman in the chest and did a cute little jump-kick to nail him in the chin, but her leg was grabbed and he thrashed her to the ground. The feline growled and swept a leg to deck him, but he went to stamp on the limb to dislocate the ankle when Harley shot him just for fun, knowing that the suit was bulletproof. "Enough" the Joker told Harley coldly while watching Minx scrape herself off the floor, "Get my pussy out of there."


	30. Chapter 30: You'll Break Your Thumb

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"How bad is it?" Mindy winced while lying on her back on one of her great room couches almost completely naked because the Minx romper had to be removed to get the full effect of the mark the railing left across her belly.

Kneeling in front on the couch with a grimace spread over his face, the Joker shook his head and handed her a big bag full of ice while prepping a heating pad since it was basically cooking in the microwave.

"Keep the ice on" he ran the back of his ungloved hand down her cheek and searched for where he placed his jacket. "Still alive"

"Gee" she rolled her eyes and shook her head with a smirk, "I do not know what I would have done without that info"

He petted her hair gently not caring how much of it he knocked out of place.

"Your hand-to-hand is not as awful as I thought" he nodded while still petting her hair and licking his lips, his eyes drifting off for a moment before looking down on her with raised eyebrows, "Still haven't seen you throw a punch, but-"

"You know I cannot do that"

"_Hold your fingers like this" the body which that husky Australian accent belonged to made a fist for the blonde Mindy to see since they were horsing around in Trish and Ron's backyard in late November. _

"_Like THIS?" Mindy tucked her thumb under her fingers in the fist and swung forwards, "WA-CHA!" she shouted and immediately Jack was all over her like a hive of wasps._

"_NO no no no no no no no no!" terrified, he snagged her wrist and frantically shook his head of long wavy blonde hair, "You'll break your thumb! You'll break your thumb, no!" _

"_Hm?" frowning she pouted her lips as he pulled her thumb out from under her fingers and shook his head._

"_Never…" panting for breath he looked her in the eye, "EVER…" he held the fist up and played with her little thumb before kissing it, "tuck your thumb under your fingers"_

"_Unda my fingas?" she teased with her tongue between her teeth and he nodded with pouted lips, just asking for her to float up and kiss him but she couldn't because Trish and Ron had no idea what she could do and they might be watching. They were always being spied on for stupid-ass reasons. They were newly married they didn't need the in-law bullshit from Trish. _

"_I thought my accent was sexy?"_

"_I love it" she nodded and they kissed again, "but I also love to make FUN of it."_

_He smiled softly, "And I love you…" taking a moment to smile almost dreamily he shook it off and shifted from foot to foot while keeping her thumb over her closed fingers, "Swing it that way."_

"_But it HURTS that way" she pouted and twisted her tiny wrist so she could see it, and Jack nodded as she twisted the fist around._

"_It's only uncomfortable 'cause you're not used to it" he said with a sweet smile before showing her his big fist once more, which looked twice as big next to her little child-sized one, "Watch this…takes twice as much energy to swing and miss than it does to make contact" he swung the fist forwards in slow-mo and looked to her to do the same, "Try it with me"_

"_Okie dokie" preparing herself the same way he did (and he checked to make sure the foundation was right), he nodded before going into slow-mo with her. _

"_Very good…" he watched the way she swung and nodded again, "very very good."_

"_Are you lying?" she smirked and stood on the tips of her toes to give his lower neck a kiss before bouncing on her toes while balling two punching fists. _

"_Never" he shook his head and nudged her with his right elbow, "Alright Kitten, we're gonna try again, alright?"_

"_Mhm"_

"_Ready?"_

"_Mhm" she gulped and they did the slow punch with their right arms again, him thinking it was close enough to perfect before bounding in front of her with his hands held up._

"_Hit me!"_

_She stared at him like he was high._

"_Come on, Kitten!" a gentle nod and his most charming smile, "Hit me, it's alright!"_

"_I love you" she frowned and tried to think about hitting his hands, but couldn't. Placing his hands on the belt loops of his jeans he cocked his head before gently pushing her back._

"_I love you more, now fuckin' punch me." _

_Nodding and taking a deep breath to prepare, she tried to ready a fist to swing but stopped and shook her head, "I cannot do it." _

"_I bet you'll have no problem kissing me though" he nodded and she shrugged before grabbing his neck and laying one on him. He kissed her back before clonking their foreheads and shrugging, "What's the difference between that and punching me?"_

"_Kisses do not hurt"_

"_Only if you don't mean them" he gave her a hard slap on the butt and she squealed the moment he lifted her over his shoulder effortlessly and carried her towards the trees since he hated being anywhere near his in-laws. _

"Brat" he dropped the heating pad on her stomach and moved her hair out of the way as best he could, "you want me to fetch you a blanket or…" he shrugged, "whatever the hell you wear?"

"Yes" she nodded before squeezing a hand of his in hers, "thank you, darling."

He wrinkled his nose and waved her dismissively before taking his leave, coming back moments later with a fuzzy pink blanket and flinging it at her, "Did you at least learn how to catch?" She caught it.

"What is this, Daddy?"

The Joker twitched out for a second before glancing down at Amber playing with the gold chain that hung from his pants, "Why aren't you in bed? It's LATE."

"I heard you home" she nodded while playing with the gold chain, "what is this?"

"What?" he frowned and lifted the chain on his pants that Amber was playing with, "This?"

She nodded, making him lick his lips and nod at it for a moment.

"Just a watch chain" he shrugged and pulled the stopwatch out of his pocket, "see?"

"I like it" Amber smiled gently and pulled it from his hands, "it's pretty."

"Thank you" he nodded and admired the impeccably tidy suit he wore before smiling thinly and realizing his jacket was draped over a chair in the kitchen, "Daddy hadda rob a big bank and kill everyone in it to get the money-"

"MOB money" of course Mindy interrupted dryly and he shot her a look before turning his back and slightly leaning against the couch, allowing one of Mindy's arms to slink around his waist and stay there.

"Yes…" he twitched and clenched his teeth, "DEAR…I was getting there, thank you"

"So you used their money you stole to buy the suit…?" Amber smirked before nodding along and looking up, "I like your thinking."

"Oh Jesus in the sky, Ambieloo no" Mindy begged though the Joker was laughing at her.

"Shush, you…!" the Joker swatted at her before cocking his head amusedly at Amber and nodding along, "I think I like you, kid"

"Of course you do" Mindy interjected, "She is yours."

"Did Mommy get in a bad fight?" Amber frowned while playing with her father's stopwatch, and he nodded.

"Got her ass handed to her by the Batman"

"Prick" Mindy gave him the finger only to receive what could pass as a funny face from the Joker, "How old are you?"

Since neither parent was paying attention, Amber managed to flip open a compartment of the stopwatch where she discovered something was lodged inside. Furrowing her brow, she frowned a moment before digging and pulling out the tiny loose article to see it was none other than the tiniest headshot she'd ever seen of her mother. The mass of raven hair was tousled, her tiny yet fluffed lips were pouted, and naturally the viper eyes completely stole the camera. It was a famous shot of her mother…she was just surprised to find it hidden in Daddy's watch. Quickly before he noticed she stuck it back in and gulped, though he turned around and clipped the chain off his pants anyway before handing it to her.

"You like it?"

Immediately she nodded as fast as she could, "Oh yes, Daddy it's beautiful!"

"Keep it…" he shrugged uncaringly, "I don't need it." He caught the eyes Mindy was giving him and shrugged, "What? What'd I do now?"

"MUST you justify every nice thing you do?"

"I don't do anything 'nice'" he snorted before shaking his head, "The kid wouldn't stop pulling at it, what do you want me to do? Yank it back?"

"If you did not love her" trying to sit up she grabbed his fingers and kissed them, "you would have."

He ignored that before looking down at Amber, "You the only one awake?"

"No" she shook her head and frowned, "they wanna say hi."

"So?" he shrugged and beckoned towards the general direction of the stairs, "If you're gonna smother me, do it while I'm alert enough not to fall on my ass again."

Amber beamed and made a necklace out of the watch chain before bolting towards the stairs to happily collect her siblings who were lingering in the dark.

…

Carefully with Alfred's help Bruce removed the Batman suit and cringed with every single movement.

"Master Bruce…" Alfred placed a hand on Bruce's chest to somehow make him cease struggling in the makeshift Batcave underneath the shipyard, "please…"

The lacerations all over Bruce's body were absolutely excruciating and they stung like a bitch from all the rubbing alcohol. He whined, twisted, hissed…anything to get Alfred off him.

"PLEASE, Alfred…!" Bruce growled and physically wrenched himself from his butler and lifelong caretaker's hand, "You know how many people I let die?"

"In order to save the life of Jim Gordon, you had no other choice"

"I chose him…" he shook his head frantically, "because he's my FRIEND…"

"And you made the right decision, sir" Alfred nodded while clapping a hand to the heavily distraught Bruce's shoulder, but the billionaire wasn't entirely convinced.

"And what makes Gordon's life more valuable than an entire fleet of cops? Answer me that" he snapped while keeping his eyes down, there was no way he could actually look Alfred in the eye and bite the way he did. Though the older man kept his composure and took a deep breath.

"In some ways, Master Wayne" Alfred began slowly, "the people of Gotham need him just as desperately as they need you protecting and fighting for their lives."

Bruce's eyes dropped because he had a real hard time believing that.

"I'm hitting a WOMAN, Alfred!" Bruce clenched his teeth and ran a hand through his hair, "He's sending a WOMAN out after me-"

"Bruce WAYNE would hit no woman, sir" Alfred corrected kindly with a shake of the head, "Batman does what he has to."

"She's so small, Alfred" staring at the clawmarks in his suit Bruce could only shake his head, "She's like Miranda small. One hit I could potentially kill her, but she's so difficult-"

"Things are not always what they appear, Master Bruce" Alfred's eyes glazed over grimly.

"And how am I supposed to try and understand her"

"With the Joker hovering over her shoulder, absolutely nothing" Alfred's posture stiffened while dipping a washcloth in a basin of hot water to wipe the blood off Bruce's sweat-coated body, "He keeps her sound, he keeps her quiet…" he knew he had Bruce's interest, "if you want the feline I suggest looking at your own backyard before venturing into his."

"I can't" Bruce shook his head and actually winced at the wound Alfred was treating, "not with Miranda and the kids…I can't afford something happening to any of them, Alfred…"

"Which is why for their safety I suggest you come clean before delving any deeper into the terrorist's scheme"

"And what? Lose them because she can't deal with me? With who I truly am?"

"I believe, Master Wayne…" Alfred took a beat and breathed through his nose, "she will surprise you. In some cases what you may perceive as a spade is not always a spade."

"Those kids need a father"

"Being that they've lived without one all their lives I believe they aren't picky when it comes to how much time a man can devote to them."

…

Being that her twin sister was in the Gotham Police force, Mindy Stratus had no choice as both public figure and sister but to attend the memorial service being held for the cops recently decimated by the Joker. Trish stood up front with the rest of the cops while the rockstar was down below with both Chelsea and Tryg, surrounded by bodyguards because no celebrity was without them especially with children. Tryg was bored shitless and had been tearing the program into tiny little pieces while Chelsea was eating Cheerio's out of a little plastic baggy.

Amber and the twins were all in school, and thankfully Bruce had volunteered to pick them up from school and bring them back to his place to play with him and Alfred for a while. It was Alfred's idea actually since he knew Mindy's stipulations when it came to living with Bruce. He had to want to be a father and the kids had to want him as a father…and the old man had found that completely fair and mature of the mother to require such. Bruce couldn't just waltz into a family of five children, he knew that. There had to be a decent amount of give and take on both ends, and thus far things had been going swimmingly well. All Bruce had been yammering about was how much he was going to spoil the shit out of all the kids, and the kids simply jovial about having a permanent father figure in their lives.

The only issue was their birth father beginning to seep into their minds. Whatever it was that sparked an interest Mindy had no idea, but bottom line he was. He certainly wouldn't take a backseat and let Bruce into the picture, she could have called that a long time ago. The whole 'one rule' was all bullshit. He didn't just want her not marrying Bruce; he didn't want them together at all.

* * *

"_My sentence is for open war"_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	31. Chapter 31: You're Not That Pretty

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

While trying to teach her sparsely populated class of children at the Mirman School for the Gifted, Amber's teacher could not stop staring at the six-year-old attentively both listening and taking down notes wearing what appeared to be a gold chain with a stopwatch as a necklace. They all had to wear uniforms, but jewelry was allowed. The teacher's attention was just zoned on how familiar that watch around Amber Rose Napier's neck was. It gave her a chill actually, how she'd watched so many videos on both TV and the internet regarding the likely owner of that watch the child was wearing as a necklace.

Amber looked down at her fuzzy pink notebook which was covered in doodles involving the same black-wreathed eyes and a Glasgow grin.

Deciding to push the child's buttons, the teacher tapped a ruler to her desk and looked to Amber in the front right corner of the classroom.

"Miss Napier?"

Slightly startled, Amber glanced up and pouted her full lips, "Yes, Ms. Oren?"

Straightening her posture and shooting the child a bit of a smug grin, Oren began, "I would like for you to solve a problem on the board for me…could you do that?"

"Yes, Ms. Oren" up Amber went, the small group of genius students cracking up at the notorious teacher's pet. Grabbing the dry erase marker, Amber readied herself at the board with a gulp.

"Proper design of automobile braking systems must account for heat buildup under heaving braking. Calculate the thermal energy dissipated from brakes in a 1460 kilogram car that descends a 13.5 degree hill. The car begins braking when its speed is 90 kilometers per hour and slows down to a speed of 40 kilometers per hour in a distance of 0.51 kilometers measured along the road."

The entire class's eyes glazed over thanking their stars that it wasn't them and Amber seemed pretty shocked too.

"Get going, nerd" one student muttered to the other with a laugh, and of course Amber heard it.

"What do you do first, Miss Napier?" the teacher, knowing well who Amber's mother was, asked out of contempt and Amber was sick of it. Her mother was a musical genius and obviously her father was beyond any scientific definition of brilliant though the world got to know it in the worst way.

"Well…" Amber curled her lips, "first…" she paused uncomfortably because she knew everyone was making fun of her, "we have to calculate the amount of work the brakes are applying to the car since in this case…t-the w-work is thermal heat. We a-also need the deceleration of the car"

Looks all went around the room in disbelief at the seemingly robotic responses coming from the six-year-old.

"So how do we do such, Miss Napier?" Oren pressed further, making the child gulp and stare at the board.

"Final velocity squared equals…" she began to write the equation on the board, "initial velocity squared plus twice the deceleration times displacement. When we solve for A" she scribbled the equation on the board and solved it all in her head, "we get negative 0.49 meters per second squared…the brakes must be applying a braking acceleration of 2.78 meters per second squared, in order to counter the acceleration as it moves down the hill, and then still have a net braking acceleration of 0.49 meters per second squared. This is equal to a force of 4,061 Newtons. Now the distance the car travels is 510 meters so work equals force times distance, which is 2,071,260. That means 2,071 kilo-Joules of heat is dissipated."

Stunned, the class gave her a round of applause and her teacher dropped the ruler. Now Amber just had to ask.

"What did any of that have to do with Of Mice and Men?"

…

"I got a call from that BITCH who teaches my daughter today" Mindy told Harley as the beautiful blonde in a baggy t-shirt and boy-short underwear sat down on the bathroom counter in her own apartment with a mug of hot chocolate.

Tryg was seated in the bathtub as Mindy knelt in front with latex gloves on and a bottle of green dye in her hand, her mess of raven hair all piled atop her head in the biggest, messiest bun Harley had ever seen. Not a drop of makeup was on her icy skin and her green Juicy Couture tracksuit was worn obviously with heavy purpose so the dye wouldn't stain if dropped on it. Chelsea wandered into the room and Harley lifted her up next to her with a smile.

"What'd she want?"

"Ambieloo somehow answered this really crazy physics problem without crackin' out a calculator and-"

"Whoa whoa whoa…!" Harley's light brown eyes widened in shock and she shook her head, "Ain't she SIX?"

"Mhm"

"Were you good at math or somethin'?" Harley frowned while spinning a marshmallow around in her drink with black manicured nails and Mindy shook her head.

"No I failed out…her father was the math genius…math and science. I was the music/artsy one so we balanced each other."

Harley nodded along noticing that Tryg was getting annoyed with just sitting still and giggled, "Little boys are so funny."

"Oh" Mindy's medium-toned eyebrows rose and she snorted, "THIS one?" she smirked and severely messed Tryg's hair, "Ornery little SHIT." She tickled his ribs and Tryg doubled over from laughing so hard.

"MOM-MY!" he nearly dipped his head in the hot water. He had a bathing suit on since it wasn't an official bath and Mindy was making it increasingly difficult not to fall backwards or forwards, "STOP it, Mommy!"

"Never" she smirked and pressed a rough kiss to his cheek before growling into his ear, "tickle monster never stops MWA!"

"How do you say his name?" Harley gently motioned to Tryg and Mindy smirked before curling her lips and facing the blonde.

"Trigger…or as we like to call him Trig, Triggy, Trigonometry"

"Then what's with the 'y' if it's pronounced with the 'I'?"

"Cuz…" Mindy sucked her cheeks in like a goldfish and shrugged, "I am an asshole celebrity and it is a running contest among the A-list to come out with the most outrageous names to outdo each other"

"What's your favorite boy's name?"

"James" Mindy smiled sweetly and dropped her eyes.

"Then why didn't you name your kid that?"

"Because" she shrugged, "if I did so then that would prevent me from ever dating a man named James and that is just way too bangable a name to give to my child. I like J names though…my husband's name was Jack and I thought it was really sweet"

"Was it short for anything? Or just…?"

"Just Jack" she giggled and her icy skin flushed a pink, "I never gave him a nickname either. Usually I do that but not him he was just…" her eyes hit the floor, "He always let me get what I wanted so I got to name the babies myself"

"Is it hard?" Harley ran a hand over Chelsea's long loosely curled blonde hair and Mindy gave her a puzzled look, "Being a mom?"

"I have been a mommy since I was twenty-two" Mindy shrugged and took a long breath, "Jack and I had them too young" she sat back on her butt while looking at Harley longer, "It is scary at first, but you get better as you go."

"I would love to be a mommy one day" Harley nodded with a soft smile, looking at Chelsea and Tryg.

"Pick a good daddy" Mindy nodded with wide eyes, "Please."

"Why does he want green of all colors?" Harley giggled when Tryg wrinkled his nose and turned to her.

"GREEN like Daddy-"

"His favorite color" Mindy pinched Tryg's arm quick and he scowled at her, "Green is Tryggy's favorite color and…"

Mindy gave Chelsea a nod and the baby ran out of the room, which immediately made the mother gasp and look to Harley with a bit of a grimace.

"I am so sorry, could you…?"

"Oh yeah" Harley went right out and Mindy whacked Tryg in the arm lightly and shook her head.

"I know you want green like Daddy, Tryggy" Mindy hissed and shook her head, "but you HAVE to watch your mouth ESPECIALLY around her!"

"Why?" Tryg shook his head with a frown, "He's Daddy"

"But Daddy is a FUGITIVE" she corrected with a stern frown, "You can NOT just shout his name out like that, baby, that chick is a LUNATIC for him"

"Why?" Tryg furrowed his brow, "He's MY Daddy."

"I know…" she nodded and gave his temple a kiss so her lips wouldn't be dyed green, "he will always be your daddy, but Mommy needs you to help protect him. If people find out about Daddy they will do HORRIBLE things to us, I cannot even tell you"

"Why?" Tryg frowned when Mindy sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Everybody wants Daddy's head on their mantle, babe" she chewed the inside of her cheek for a moment, "If they know our name, they will know Daddy's…if they know Daddy's name they will use us any way they can to hurt him and put him in the crazy place."

"They can't catch Daddy…" Tryg scoffed, "he's the JOKER he goes POW!" he pretended to fire a bazooka towards the wall and Mindy had to cover her mouth she was laughing so hard, "POW! POW! POW!"

Curling her lips and trying to control the tears which were coming down her face from laughing so hard, Mindy nodded and took a deep breath while fanning herself off with her left hand, "You should show Daddy later…" she nodded with a grin, "I think he will appreciate it."

"I will" he nodded before noticing that Mindy was happily singing along to her favorite song of all time which she had pressed repeat to, 'Poker Face', "Awww MOMMY! Nooo! ANYTHING but Lady Gaga!"

"Are YOU dyin' your hair?" Mindy raised a shaped eyebrow and Tryg pouted, "Damn right you listen to what I want."

"I'm telling DAD-"

"I'll kick your ASS" she nodded while pointing a finger at him though obviously the kid didn't take the threat seriously as Harley could be heard bringing Chelsea back into the room. "You're so pretty…" Mindy stared at Harley's naturally small features on her face, "why waste your time on such an asshole?"

"And YOU think you know him?" Harley shifted her weight, and reluctantly Mindy forced herself to nod while shutting off the music.

"How many times has he hit you?"

Harley's head hung and nervously her thin hand gripped her sculpted arm, clenching and relaxing the tanned skin she was so anxious.

"How many times has he yelled at you and got away with it?"

Again, Harley's lips curled and no answer.

"How many times has he BOSSED and BULLIED you into getting his way?"

Harley's very lack-of response and trembling told her everything she needed to know.

"He has schizophrenia and tardive dyskinesia" Mindy said quite coldly, "He says he licks his lips because of drool but that is a lie and you know it. You were his DOCTOR. I LOVE you, Harleen but you can NOT handle him this way! He is walking all fucking over you and I feel TERRIBLE watching-"

"What choice do I have?" the very way Harley's eyes welled with tears caught Mindy off-balance, "I love him"

Mindy exhaled and touched the bun atop her head, "He does not care."

Harley growled at that, but the tiny woman didn't flinch, "Look, he told me EVERYTHING about his-"

"His past is so fucking fucked up he believes his own lies, honey" Mindy pouted her lips, "Whatever he told you it was not true, it was what he knew would sucker you in and help him"

"And I would die for him, okay?" she ran a hand through her long blonde hair and sniffled.

"He is GOING to kill you when he feels like it if you do not set a ground for yourself" Mindy nodded reluctantly, "Please just listen to me and stand up to him"

"Never-"

"He will RESPECT you! You want him to LOVE you make him RESPECT you! Harleen" she would have preferred a hole to be drilled into her skull, "I KNOW how to help you if you just let me-"

"What does he see in you?" Harley shook her head drearily, "You're not even that pretty, you know? You're just this deranged…fat little meatball who had to rip your whole face off and starve just to get people to look your way!"

"I know I am ugly, alright?" trembling violently she twitched a second before blinking a veil of tears, "I am very open with my surgeries and dye-jobs and makeup. I stop eating to be skinny like you but it never works. I tried throwing up but I cutted inside throat instead to try and bleed blood until I died in all pieces. I don't WANT to be here! I HATE my LIE of a god damn life and every fucking thing in it! People do not love ME my fans do not love ME they love HER!" by 'her' she insinuated Mindy Stratus, "SHE DOESN'T EXIST SHE'S NOT REAL SHE'S NOT REAL SHE'S NOT! I AM NO ONE! Miranda is DEAD I am NO ONE! I WANT to die just let me die already LET ME DIE! Do you have ANY idea what it is like to be completely fucking alone? Bruce loves HER! My husband is DEAD! I have a team of shrinks, I have a million fucking horse pills to 'help' but there is NOTHING to be 'helped'! I am not drowning! I mean" she snorted, "sure you can all lock me up again but I tried to die in a straitjacket before I will do it again until they pad my tongue like last time and I cannot talk ever. Nobody likes my stupid Canada voice anyway. People are INTERESTED like I am a god damn circus animal nobody LIKES me they are INTERESTED! Like YOU! And BRUCE! AND MY TRISHA ANNE! And I know how hard it is to make my mommy go away and mirror girl from attacking and the floor man under the bed so just let me go…God damns all the treacherous to Caina…they are buried up to their necks in ice forever" giving Harley a faraway look she nodded along thoughtfully, "that will be nice."

…

"ALFRED! Alfred!" Thorn and Scarlett shouted while jumping up and down grabbing his legs as he prepared real clothes for them so they weren't stuck in kindergarten uniforms.

Unlike Amber, the dynamic duo went to regular kindergarten at a private academy since it was a must for children with (in)famous parents. Amber, of the five, had the super-crazy IQ which put her where she was. The only thing Mindy could attribute about Thorn and Scarlett to their father was their heavy theatricality, and that could be easily swung back her way too since she was probably the most melodramatic female alive.

"ALFRED!" the twins giggled making the butler raise his eyebrows.

"What can I do for you lovely ladies?"

Scarlett went to speak but Thorn elbowed her in the gut.

"OW!" Scarlett balled up a fist but Thorn jumped away and skirted right behind Alfred.

"HELP! HELP! HELP ME! She's gonna kill me help!"

"No one is killing anybody in this house" Alfred lifted Scarlett so she wouldn't attack Thorn before standing her on a bed and helping the child with her tie.

"That can be arranged" Scarlett said while folding her arms across her chest haughtily and glaring at her twin sister.

"They act like Mommy and Aunt Trisha" Amber told Bruce wisely from their spot on the balcony sitting in a lounge chair and she fiddled with his fingers, "Thorn is all calm and cool like Aunt Trisha while Scarlett is a completely helpless case of 'praise me'"

"Not like Mommy" Bruce frowned but Amber snickered and shook her head.

"My Mommy's the best she's my best friend in the entire world…" she took a moment to stare up at the sky before cracking a smirk, "but she exaggerates everything because of her sickness. It makes her see things and hear things and believe things she doesn't know are not real. My Daddy took care of her when he got her out of the crazy house when they were fifteen but now he's dead so Aunt Trisha has to care for her…" frowning she shook her head, "it is very hard, to take care of my Mommy and not go crazy yourself."

"You've never met your father…?" Bruce openly assumed, and Amber shook her head to lie.

"Nope" pulling her knees up to her chest she dropped her head back on his shoulder, "I wish I did though…he's why Mommy's still alive" she chewed her cheek for a moment before frowning, "Did Mommy tell you about my Grandma and Grandpa?"

"On her side?" he raised an eyebrow and nodded, "She did."

"Daddy's daddy was just as mean to him" she nodded with a sigh, "Daddy watched his daddy kill his mommy and then he got beat up every single day because Grampa hated him and wanted him to die. Grampa hated my Mommy and disowned Daddy when they got married. Daddy went back and he killed him. Grampa never bought or paid for anything for Daddy so Daddy had to work sixteen hours a day as an engineer in a chemical plant, or in the beginning he did the things nobody wanted to do. Daddy had to though to buy Mommy medicine for her sickness and an apartment when they got married. Mommy was in the crazy house for when she killed her Mommy because Grandma and Grandpa tied her to tables and chairs and beat her every day saying she was a demon from hell. Nobody was allowed to talk to her and she slept in a dog kennel and they never got her to a doctor for her schizophrenia. They liked to scream from the bible and Grandpa touched her in bad places…" her ice-blue eyes suddenly became very cloudy and her voice dropped to a hushed whisper, "Daddy got him too. Daddy got everyone that made Mommy sad."

"What was he, a hitman?" Bruce ribbed to at least attempt to lighten the mood, but Amber knew it was fake. She believed he secretly liked that her father did what he did to those who upset her mother.

"No" Amber sighed and ran a hand through her lengthy blonde hair.

Bruce didn't want to actually touch it and figure it out himself, but that railroad watch around Amber's neck looked awfully familiar.

"How did you say he died again?"

"…I didn't" she responded craftily, "He O.D-ed on some psycho drug."

"I thought he disappeared from the mob"

"Hearsay" Amber shook her head, "People like to make things up."

His brow furrowed and he nodded along, "Well I'm sure Mommy knows-"

"There's certain things even as someone she loves that you don't ask her" Amber replied wisely though she knew Bruce was elated with the 'someone she loves' part, "Mommy loves you. Very much she does."

"She told you?" the look which had zapped across his face was so puppy-like Amber had to smile and run a hand down his face.

"She don't need to."

"Ambieloo?"

The pair froze as Mindy stepped onto the balcony with a green Mohawk-bearing Tryg and Chelsea sprinted out towards Bruce happily, "DADDY!"

He flashed Mindy his most charming grin before lifting Chelsea and hugging Tryg with one arm, "And how was the boring funeral?"

"I got…" Chelsea pulled her little baggy full of Swedish Fish out and showed him her one handful, "fish."

Bruce feigned a gasp and his dark eyes went wide, "And where did you get those, Chels?"

"Mommy" her little finger pointed towards Mindy and she nodded, waiting for her mother to come over and eat a fish out of her hand before smiling warmly at Bruce.

"Thank you" Mindy bounced on her toes leaning up and kissing him, "for watching babies."

He smiled fondly and they kissed again, one of his hands finding her scalp and tangling up in it, "How was it?"

"Meh" Mindy wrinkled her nose indifferently and motioned towards Tryg bouncing in front of Amber so she'd notice his new hair, "Tryggy decided to be an ornery little SHIT today and convince me to dye his hair green"

"Permanent?" he frowned when Mindy snorted and her eyes got big.

"Over my dead body."


	32. Chapter 32: Imagine

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

"NO!" Mindy screamed bloody murder and careened around a bend of Wayne Manor when a water balloon was chucked her way and missed literally by a hair, "FUCK!"

Stumbling and pushing herself off the ground Mindy continued to bolt and hold onto the walls for support because the entire place was like a funhouse.

"HEY!" that was Bruce running after her into the dining room, where she literally slid across the table because her body was so saturated before swinging her legs over the top of a chair and ducking behind the back, crouching low and emitting a loud battle cry the moment Bruce entered the room.

"RAGH!" she flung a balloon she had been hoarding in her bra at him, which he dodged and decided to be a bastard by sliding under the table to grab at her legs.

"MIRANDA…!"

"NO!"

SPLAT! She nailed him straight in the skull with a balloon and bolted off, irritating Bruce and he growled before running and flinging a balloon at her calf as she tried to make her way out the door, nailing her and causing the tiny thing to trip and fall forwards to the hardwood floor.

"Miranda!" crawling like a spider he managed to launch on top and pin her arms to her sides with a smile; water dripping from the top of his head onto her face and with a single arm hooked around his neck they kissed.

Alfred paced about with a mop and bucket to collect all the water and rubber which was lying around the mansion from the impromptu waterfight which was supposed to take place outside. They were having FUN, which was something Bruce desperately needed in his life.

…

"Daddy…" Scarlett crossly placed her hands on her hips while sitting on one of the kitchen counters playing with the Joker's greasy unkempt dyed-green hair. He of course was quite focused on Thorn, who was seemingly making a bonnet for Oxa by stringing sunflowers together all over a straw hat. "DADDY!"

"WHAT?" his head snapped back to hers though the prissy brat didn't flinch at the tone of voice. She didn't even care. All she did was sigh and toss her pin-straight blonde hair behind her while continuing to comb her fingers through his hair as gingerly as she could.

"Your hair is DEPLORABLE!" she made him actually hold his hands up in surrender for being yelled at. It was a defense mechanism he did it when a six and a half foot mobster yelled at him, he did it when his five-year-old yelled at him.

"Oh yeah?" his eyes widened and he licked his lips while straightening his posture, "and what would you like me to do about that?"

"Take a BATH!" Scarlett's little nose wrinkled and she leaned close to her father's face while running her fingers through his hair again, "Mommy says you're BLONDE!"

"And I got so dirty now its green!" he nodded cheekily.

"That or you got trapped under the pool when it got covered for winter" Amber smugly remarked while walking with Chelsea and Fievel in hand towards a snack cabinet, and he shook his head with a heavy exhale before shrugging.

"I just can't win with you, can I?"

"For one…" Amber smirked while pulling a bag of popcorn out and jumping to reach the microwave, "brush up on your babysitting skills, Sparky"

"Why?" he shrugged and slapped his hands to his sides, "You're all right here…"

"Except for my brother who is trying to climb up a window with two plungers…"

"Brother" he turned and followed her eyes to see Tryg slamming two toilet plungers to windows trying to climb up them while wearing a Spiderman getup complete with mask and it scared the shit out of him.

"Tryggy has a fast metabolism and it tends to make him hyperactive" she explained gently when her father pulled away from the counter and almost made Scarlett topple over because her weight was being balanced on him.

"DAD!" she slapped the counter and shouted when the Joker nearly knocked himself over to tear the plungers from Tryg's hands.

"No no no no no no no NO…!" he hid them from behind his back and cocked his head in complete befuddlement at his son, "What the hell are you supposed to be?"

"SPIDERMAN!" Tryg made the web-slinging pose for his father before jumping to grab the plungers, and still the Joker wrinkled his nose and shook his head.

"Why?"

"Why not?" Thorn sighed from across the kitchen, "We play dressup all the TIME"

"DAD-DY!" Scarlett whipped her head around to glare at her father trying to wrestle Tryg away from the windows and sighed when he didn't answer, "DADDY!"

"WHAT?" he swung Tryg over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes before carrying him into the kitchen and sitting him down on a barstool, "Can't you all just SIT STILL for THIRTY SECONDS?" his voice got really high and he twitched out, "PLEASE?"

"YOU offered to babysit" Amber said while pulling the popcorn from the microwave and shaking the bag out for Chelsea, who had her arms extended for it. He said nothing to that nor was Amber expecting anything to come from him on that subject.

"So…" licking his lips and cocking his head he began to slowly make his way across the kitchen towards the oldest and the youngest, "being that you KNOW I wouldn't know what to do with one of you if you told me to my face…" he placed both hands on his hips, "You decide to be ornery little brats for me when I-"

"You're our DAD" Amber said coldly before handing Chelsea the steaming popcorn and taking a few steps closer to him, "We're babies. We're always bad."

He chewed the inside of his cheek a moment before dropping his arms and rolling his eyes because he knew where it was going, "You're not…" he cringed, "BAD…" he straightened and waved a bare hand, "in the literal sense"

"We love you, Daddy" she touched his bare wrist before looking for his jacket which was neatly folded over a couch, "even though your jokes suck."

…

"Hold STILL, Daddy!" Scarlett nearly fell into the bathtub and the Joker just sat there, half his makeup melted off his face from steam and shampoo as the twins decided to take his hygiene over and improve it. Scarlett sat on the rim of the Jacuzzi tub in her own bedroom running her fingers through her father's poorly dyed hair and giggling at the displeasure he was displaying at having to sit in a bathtub and be tortured by hairbrushes and soap bars.

The Joker grimaced at the way her tiny fingers scrubbed every inch of his scalp before hugging his neck and giving him a big kiss on the cheek.

"You are BEAUTIFUL, Daddy!" she beamed while washing the shampoo out and giggled harder, "Your hair is so curly too!"

"Is it?" he was clearly joking while screwing his face up and shaking his head, "I can never tell"

"Maybe if you looked in a MIRROR" Thorn sighed while stamping over with a toothbrush and he let her just open his mouth and view his yellow-stained teeth, which made her grimace and vomit in her mouth a bit, "And WHAT happened to your teeth?"

"He does not brush them" Scarlett sighed though the look he gave her let her know it wasn't true.

"Did Mommy ever teach you the…" he waved a bare hand to drum up the word, "'rockstar' method?"

"HOW" Thorn antagonized while pushing the toothbrush in his face, "SHOW ME how you brush your teeth if they are that yellow"

"Gimmie the damn paste and I'll show you…" he held a hand out for Thorn and she placed the toothpaste in his hand, watching in shock as he squeezed a line of it on his index finger.

"DADDY!" she gasped and Scarlett couldn't even speak or she'd kill him, "that's dis-GUST-ing!"

"No its not" he placed the finger in his mouth and made a toothbrush out of his own finger before spitting back into the sudsy water of the bathtub, again freaking the twins out. Scarlett groaned, ran a hand through her hair, and counted to five before lathering her father's hair in conditioner and pressing a kiss on his forehead.

"What's the story with the yellow then?" Scarlett frowned and noticed that Oxa had entered the room and was now seated next to Thorn.

"Chain smoking" he wrinkled his nose and sighed while playing with his own fingers, licking his lips and actually shifting his shoulders around as if stir-crazy, "don't do it."

"I do not plan on it, THANK you!" Thorn turned his chin to her and frowned at the makeup dripping off his face and down his neck, giggling at the red on his mouth though and smirking, "Do you use Mommy's lipstick?"

"Maybe…" his husky voice replied a bit vaguely when Thorn was still slightly confused.

"Do you like wearing makeup to be pretty?"

"War paint" he feigned a smile and reached out to touch the top of her head with his wet hand, "Though if you catch Mommy on the wrong day…" he groaned and flipped his eyes to the ceiling, "she'll tell you otherwise"

Scarlett smiled and continued playing with his hair, "Your hair is so pretty and curly, Daddy I love it"

"It's not CURLY, stupid!" Thorn snapped while glaring at her identical twin, "It's WAVY! BLACK people have curly hair"

"What do you call a black family playing in the leaves?" he asked the two and they exchanged glances before shrugging, "Raisin Bran."

"DAD!" Thorn's hands covered her mouth and she laughed so hard she wanted to cry. Scarlett did too once she got her jaw to function from that. Of course the bastard was laughing at his own tasteless joke, and then the voice came from the doorway.

"Why wasn't Jesus born in Sydney?" Amber shifted her weight and smirked at her father coyly.

"They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin…" he countered quickly and gave her a little sarcastic nod, "nice try though. Just remember, honey…" he paused and licked his lips before nodding, "it applies to you too."

…

A much cleaner Joker sat at Amber's desk with her in his lap wearing everything but his tie, vest, gloves, and jacket. Amber was smiling to herself at the suspenders he wore to hold his pants up, for an undisclosed reason she knew her mother found them to be a turn-on.

"So you're telling me…" he paused to swish his tongue around in his mouth, "she called Mommy…" his lips pouted and his brow furrowed, "to reprimand her for your intelligence?"

"Yeah" she wrinkled her nose in distaste and sighed, "I wasn't paying attention so the hack tried to embarrass me in front of the class"

"What'd you have to solve?" he frowned when she sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose before taking his hand.

"Deceleration and thermal heat."

"You know all that?" he rose an eyebrow in astonishment and she nodded before hugging his neck with one arm, "Really?" his voice developed a slight rasp because he was interested and Amber nodded, "Then I want you to…" he grabbed a pencil and slid a piece of paper over towards her, "take THIS…" he closed her hand around the pencil and nodded, "and show me what you know."

"Know about what?" Amber frowned as she watched him lift a calculator and shook her head, "Whatever it is, I don't need that."

"Well aren't WE the optimist here…" he smirked dryly and drummed his fingers on the table for a moment as he tried to think of something to give her. He sighed and guided her hand to writing an equation on the paper which looked like this, 'H2PO4^- + HBO3^2- === HPO4^2- + H2BO3^-'. "See that?"

"Yeah" she nodded and glanced up at him with pouted lips, trying to figure out what he'd be asking her with that.

He nodded off a bit before pointing to the problem and speaking into her ear, "The equilibrium constant for the reaction represented by that equation is greater than one. What gives the correct relative strengths of the acids and bases in the reaction?"

"Umm…" her lips pouted though he showed no sympathy.

"You know this. I know you do."

"Daddy…"

"I know you know this, Amber Rose" the very fact that he said her full name made her that much more inclined to answer.

"It's a strong acid…mostly reacted to cause a higher quantity of products than reactants, in this case H2PO4, must be a weaker base than HBO3 because it is in the products, and the products aren't reacting as much as the reactants."

"Great" he said indifferently, "Give me an answer."

Nodding with a gulp she managed to write out, 'Acid: H2PO4^- H2BO3^- Base: HBO3^2- HPO4^2-'.

"So you ARE my child" he actually planted a kiss on her cheek and pet her hair before licking his lips and checking over the problem himself to ensure she was right, "You've got a gift…" he nodded while petting her hair more spastically since he was about to go off on a tangent, "don't you let anyone stand in your path when it comes to getting what you want"

"I don't WANT anything else" she frowned and hugged his neck; testing snuggling under his chin to see if he'd allow it, "Stay with us."

"Stop that" he shook his head and batted her hand to make her stop crying, honestly at a loss for what to do because no Mindy was there to nag him, "I'm here NOW, aren't I?"

"Daddy…" she was sobbing so hard he jumped a bit when her tears soaked through his button-down shirt, "I love you, Daddy, don't go I love you!"

"Alright stop, stop" he commanded when there was a tug of his pant leg and he glanced down to see Tryg standing there with a green Mohawk still in a Spiderman suit.

"DADDY! DADDY LOOK!" jumping up and down as high as he could go Tryg tugged harder on the Joker's pant legs when his father launched himself down and placed Amber on the ground next to him before actually pawing at Tryg like a bear looking to see if their prey was dead, "DADDY!"

"What?" he rested on his knuckles above the four-year-old and pawed at him again, "What'd you do now?"

"Look what MOMMY did, Daddy! LOOK!"

"What?" the Joker frowned while looking him over, "besides the suit I don't see what you'r-"

"My HAIR, Daddy! Look what Mommy did to my HAIR!"

"What'd she do to your…" his voice died in his throat and he was surprised with a green Mohawk replacing the blonde Mohawk on his son, "Oh…!" his eyes got big, "and however did you manage to convince Mommy to do that?"

"YOU got green hair!" Tryg yelled from the ground on his back, "I want green hair too! Then we can blow things up like POW!" he fired a fake bazooka right at his father's chest, "POW! POW! POW!"

The Joker laughed before nodding and skimming Tryg's hair with his fingers, "I'd like that one day."

…

After quite an active night of screwing Bruce Wayne's brains out Mindy opened her eyes on his chest under the covers and frowned. Despite being blanketed by the warm onslaught of covers her naked body was freezing. She took a couple breaths and laid still on Bruce's broad chest for a moment, realizing how much she loved how sculpted his arms were as her feline corneas adjusted to the darkness with ease. His narrow features were absolutely breathtaking and though she couldn't have been any more in love with him if she tried, a certain clown was lurking in the back of her mind and it was hell. That son of a bitch was her reason for breathing in and out.

Giving Bruce a long kiss even though he was asleep, she slipped out from under his arm and kissed one of his biceps before pulling his plain black form-fitting (for his body) t-shirt over herself and floating out of the room so her footsteps wouldn't rouse him. She would go back in a bit to snuggle up next to him once again exactly as she wanted, but her head needed to be cleared. Too much shit was swirling around in that scrambled skull and she knew there was a big old piano in the living room for her.

Her breathing had gone shallow because every creep and groan of the mansion was palpable to her. Her senses were so inhuman every little twitch she could detect from a good distance. Carefully she only lit a candle and dropped it where a piece of sheet music would normally go since she played by ear in the vast space of the empty living room. It was eerie, this place, she sometimes found herself wondering if the kids would be intimidated too. Sure, she had her princess mansions in Bel-Air and Malibu but not like this. This was just obnoxious.

She sat down on the black bench to play a completely instrumental song she wrote back in 2000 called 'Eternal'. It was a seven-and-a-half minute long piece with an orchestrated rock tune, transitions into a thunderstorm and piano solo, and finished with a sixteen-note repeating melody. The whole piece sounded enough like it was a real rainstorm, but obviously the only sound coming from the room was Mindy's piano by itself. She had always wanted to put vocals in this song, but the instruments were so good and perfect on their own she wanted to leave it that way. Taking a quick break where the actual thunder would have kicked in, Mindy sniffled and glanced down at both her wedding and engagement rings lovingly before swallowing hard and deciding to play something of an entirely different caliber.

Her fingers began slamming on the lowest keys she could get and her face went simply blank, beginning to crank out a haunting, ominous melody at an uncomfortably slow pace.

"_Imagine there's no heaven, It's easy if you try, No hell below us, Above us only sky, Imagine all the people living for today..." _why John Lennon of all people she didn't know, she couldn't put her finger on it. She fucking hated The Beatles then again, this wasn't a Beatles song. Still it was alien to her to be even allowing these hippie thoughts to cross her mind but she needed them out now, "_Imagine there's no countries, It isn't hard to do, Nothing to kill or die for, No religion too, Imagine all the people living life in peace..."_

The Joker would make fun of her for hours if he knew she was doing this, but she didn't care. Tears began to fall down her face in buckets as she threw herself into the piano and began belting.

"_You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you'll join us, And the world will live as one" _

Deciding to give herself a break from crying she took a long solo to just slam on the low chorded keys as hard as she could like a zombie and let the tears cloud her eyes.

"_Imagine all the people sharing all the world… You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you'll join us, And the world will live as one"_

Since her mind was so hell-bent on getting all that shit out she failed to notice the shadow lurking in the doorway simply staring at her with soft eyes.

"_Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can, No need for greed or hunger, A brotherhood of man, Imagine all the people Sharing all the world..." _she coughed and flipped her hair over her head to painfully force the final chorus out, "_You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one, I hope someday you'll join us, And the world will live as one."_

Hippie moment ended as fast as it began, forcing her to simply bang on keys for the sake of hitting them when a three-note combo caused the bookshelf to open and her jaw dropped from fright.

"WAHH!" flipping off the back of the bench and catching herself in midair, Mindy panted before floating once more with great curiosity towards the open bookshelf and an elevator shaft waiting there.

They say curiosity killed the cat, but she couldn't help it. Standing inside the elevator shaft she closed herself in and quickly went down, yelping from shock as she descended deeper and deeper and deeper underground to the point that she no longer saw the light from the living room up top and BUMP! As she stood holding onto the metal sides of the elevator completely scared stiff she faced nothing but an empty cave.

Only the sound of her own breathing accompanied the pattering of her heart as the doors opened and she stepped out of the shaft, watching it go back up by itself and bravely deciding to venture deeper.

"WAHH!" bats flew around over her head and she shivered at the sound of a roaring waterfall in the distance as she simply stood and gazed about the vast cave and its towering interior. Her eyes glowed so she could make everything out when the lights turned on and she was standing in the midst of what looked like some form of workshop. "Hello…?" pouting her lips she glanced about and stopped dead…Batarangs, grappling hooks, spare parts, the Tumbler, Batpod, and, last but not least she screamed. The Batsuit was in a special glass case and a hand slammed to her mouth, her heart racing a thousand miles a minute as two and two were slammed together and mixed and mangled.

All the scratches, the fights, the horrible voice which she'd realized was spoken on an inhale instead of an exhale…tears came to her eyes and she nearly fell over backwards from the discovery that all this time she was hunting none other than one of those she loved the most. Bruce Wayne was Batman and she was trying to annihilate him.

"I know who you are…and I know who you are not."

Mindy gasped and whirled around in midair to see Alfred standing behind her with a somber look on his face, staring at her with no prejudice or resentment.

"Please…!" swallowing hard and shaking her head she panicked, "I am SO sorry I did not know I am sorry Alfred, PLEASE I did not mean to hurt Bruce I would never hurt him, he is a pain in my ass but I love him"

"You haven't lay hurt to either of us, Miss Stratigias…" his eyes dropped to her claws as she began to cry more, "not all secrets are meant to keep"

Glancing down at her own claws in horror Mindy wept with a shake of the head, "You knew…?"

"Only a fool would assume otherwise" Alfred gave a single nod and looked her over. "The question is…how long can you hide?"

"Look" shaking her head and sniffling she clamped a hand in her hair and shrugged, "Bruce is like..." she slapped a hand to her thigh and shrugged, "he has been doing this for a LONG-ASS time now and I have not! I have been a fucking MUTANT since they FUCKED ME UP in Borehamwood"

"Regardless of how you came to be, Miss Stratigias," he straightened his posture and folded his hands behind his back, "If you don't mind me saying so, there has been some foul play-"

"Does Bruce know?" her voice cracked worriedly and Alfred gave her a reassuring shake of the head before frowning.

"I would bloody tell him if I were you, as of now he remains in the dark."

"And in the dark he stays" she replied bitterly and sniffled from the onset of more crying, "I love him, Alfred…" nodding she dropped her eyes and whimpered, "I really really do."

"Does he know?" Alfred frowned when Mindy took a deep breath and shook her head, "I believe he has a right to know as someone who loves both you and your children"

"Which is exactly why I can NOT" she barred her teeth and shook her head, "Since this is confession time you must surely KNOW that Stratigias is my maiden name and I only go by it because my husband's name is Napier and we are still legally married. Try tellin' THAT to your beau!"

"If you wished to lend an ear Miss Stratigias" he gently coaxed her out of the tirade and took a breath, "I understand protecting your children is a necessity"

"It is my ONLY angle, Alfred" her voice hardened and she wrinkled her nose, "If people knew who Bruce, myself, OR…" she cut herself off but Alfred subliminally knew where she was going, "were…we would be all sorts of FUCKED."

"I have spoken to him about the matter"

"Then why would he hide it from me that way?" she shook her head with a sigh before running a hand through her hair and groaning, "but then again, I am the villain, so why am I complainin'?"

"I don't believe, Miss Stratigias" Alfred said, "that you support the terrible things you've done and helped make possible"

"Just because you heard me bang out John Lennon does not mean I share his hippie beliefs" she said a bit stiffly, though even she knew deep down somewhere she did. "The world is anything but perfect and you know it. People suck and-"

"They all deserve to die" Alfred finished the sentence to shock her more than anything, "You don't know why you are doing what you're doing, you're listening to the words of a madman"

"He is a pain in my ass" she shook her head, "He does not 'make' me do anything, I want to do it."

"Even now that you are aware of who exactly it is you are hunting…?"

"I can't" she squeaked and began to hug herself, her face filling with tears once more as she cried, "I can't hurt him. I…" staring at everything and shaking her head she threw herself into Alfred and let him hug her until she stopped sobbing.

"You are not a monster, Miss Stratigias…" he frowned and gently smoothed her wild raven hair, "monsters don't second-guess their actions."


	33. Chapter 33: Gentlemen Prefer Brunettes

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

After Trish left Chelsea alone with the maid (who was now dead and disintegrating in the basement of the hotel), the Joker was still alone babysitting because Mindy hadn't felt like gracing him with her presence. The older four had left with the wild beast to go to school reluctantly while he got to deal with the baby. She was actually quite calm. All she did was sit around and watch TV, line up stuffed animals, and try to force-feed marshmallows to the cats.

Since he was bored shitless after being alone for the night he'd reapplied his makeup and redressed for the most part with exception of the jacket because it was too warm in the house. Chelsea didn't require much attention nor did she really make an effort to pester him with retarded questions so he found himself pacing around trying to find shit to occupy him. He hated TV and couldn't stand watching it so chances of him joining Chelsea were those of a snowball in hell.

Knowing she didn't give a good damn he found himself zoned on Mindy's bedroom, pulling open drawers and simply browsing through whatever came his way. If she was going to have anything interesting he knew it'd be located in there. He wasn't interested in her lingerie or underwear of any kind, he wasn't interested in her clothing choice, he didn't care for the makeup or hair products she had stashed…but the box of razors caught his eye nicely. The wrist-cutting habit of hers was no secret, her stubby little arms were slashed to the bone over the years and it actually annoyed him. Considering what happened to him and he never resorted to that made it beyond irritating that she'd decided to call for attention that way.

Moving to her nightstand he yanked open a drawer and voila; jackpot. Sighing and licking his lips he sat down and pulled the stacks of cards, letters, pictures, and god knew what else she had stashed in there just for the hell of it. With an exhale he skim-read the handwritten letters addressed to 'Kitten' for occasions such as birthdays, holidays chicks went batshit for, sickening as it was they were written sometimes just for the hell of it…and she kept them all of course.

Apathetically thumbing through them all he came across one that made him sick to his stomach and nearly dropped it. A particularly large photograph that had been retouched and blown up to an eight-by-eleven inch portrait had him in his late teens lying on his stomach at the very edge of a low dock in the center of a lake with his long blonde hair wet-slick to his head. The picture only captured him from the waist-up but clearly he was drying in the sun as a submerged peroxide-blonde Mindy held onto the very edge of the dock for dear life in a little aqua bikini. Her eyes were closed and their mouths were an inch apart with one of his hands rested on the side of her neck lightly, clearly about to kiss when the picture was taken most likely by the hag sister he hated. They had no money to go anywhere without Trish making them tag along. It kicked him in the gut just looking at how pathetic he really was and always would be.

"_You know you're going to have to come in here at some point" Jack nodded from a nice safe distance in the water while Mindy just stood there in her little aquamarine bikini hugging herself and shaking her head._

"_Eat me" she gave him the finger and could only shake her head at the way his tongue went out of his mouth right away._

"_Was that an invitation?"_

"_Easy, Sparky" she smirked and shifted her weight to the right, "Let us get in the car first" _

"_Or I can do it right here!" he beckoned while treading water with a smile on his face, "Kitten…!" he whined and waved her on, "Come on! You can't be afraid forever!"_

"_The hell I can" she nodded with wide eyes while staring at the cold lake water as if it were the devil. Trish and Ron pulled the couple along on a day trip to the beach at Lake Ontario right outside the city and this was how Mindy was reacting. She couldn't swim to save her life and being Australian, Jack was born and bred for this shit. _

"_Miranda…!" again the whine and he frowned, "Come on, it's not going to bite you! Pretend I'm dying and-"_

"_Is THAT all?" floating a couple feet above the ground since Trish and Ron were off doing god knows what and wouldn't see her, Mindy casually flew out directly over him and looked down with a shrug, "Now I can save you."_

"_You…" he could only shake his head and stare at her hovering like that, "You really ARE a bitch on-" he slapped the water and it went straight for her, making her scream and fly up, further aggravating him, "WHAT is this?" he held his arms out and shook his head with a laugh._

_She gave him the finger before settling on her back in the air inches above the water and not even running her fingers through it. Her mane of blonde hair was moved in front of her and she sighed while pouting her lips and looking up at the clouds. _

"_Miranda!"_

_No answer. She sniffled and played with her fingers when two sopping wet arms wrapped around her torso, and dragged her under making her scream and gasp at being wet; trying to fly out as fast as she could once she emerged from beneath the surface. Not knowing how to swim and never bothering to learn how, she gagged when he literally sat her on him like a boogie board and spat water in her face._

"_YO!" SMACK! "Fucker!" she shivered violently, "This shit's fuckin' cold, what? You want me dead?" _

_His hand dug into her sopping wet scalp and smoothed her hair back so it wouldn't stick up all over the place, "I don't know…" he sighed and shrugged while eyeballing her teeny frame, "it may be cold in here" his hand affectionately stroked her neck and he grinned, "but you are totally hot for me right now"_

"_Lies" she spat with a wrinkled nose while digging her nails into his shoulders for dear life, "You fucking drop me you will DIE"_

_A devious glint formed in the back of those greenish-brown eyes of his and immediately she panicked._

"_Don't you DARE-WAGH!"_

_Like an alligator tearing prey he barrel-rolled and she screamed, gagging underwater when he floated on his back once more and she smacked his face from fear. _

"_BASTARD FUCK!" growling she tried to fly away but he hugged her and shook his head._

"_You're all MINE now, Kitten"_

"_No"_

"_Mine" he shrugged and smoothed her hair out of habit before leaning to start kissing all down her neck, "All mine."_

"_JACK!" she yelped and tried to peer into the water below them, "No NOT here, no!"_

"_Why not?" that didn't make him stop kissing her neck, he was just curious now to hear her schizo reasons for not hooking up in public this time. _

"_SNAKES live there, Jack!" she nodded, and his eyebrows rose in amusement._

"_Snakes?"_

"_YES!" she nodded fearfully before actually trying to fly away, so he grabbed her ankle and threw her in the water once more, "NO!" Under she went and she gagged before flying up and shaking her head with a scowl at him. "You KNOW I cannot swim!"_

"_Thus the appeal of drowning you!" he beamed before swimming backwards towards the floating dock since he knew she wouldn't go anywhere near the water, and quickly she landed in the center and shrugged at him. "What is THIS?" he threw his arms out when she shrugged and shook her thick mane of hair out._

"_I hope a snake swims up and bites your ass"_

"_Guess who's fishing me out if that happens…?" he nodded at her threateningly and she could only clap a hand to her mouth while bouncing in place._

"_Stoooop!" she drew out dramatically and frowned, "I can't swim!"_

"_So you would let me drown…" he nodded along swimming back a bit and lazily making his way towards the dock, "I understand."_

"_Please" she rolled her eyes and shook her head, not catching how he slipped under the water and she began speaking to herself, "You know I would dive in there with a net and fish your ass out whether you are too self-righteous and odious to admit that shit yourself, pain in my ass." _

_She wrinkled her nose once it dawned on her that there was no response and she scowled._

"_Are you LISTENING to me?" upon craning her neck she realized Jack was completely gone, "Jack?" no answer, "JACK Andrew Napier!" still nothing, "Jack Andrew Pain-in-the-ass Napier you get out of there NOW!" The stillness of the water had done her in, "JACK! It isn't FUNNY!" she stamped her foot, "ASS! OUT! NOW!" _

_Utterly scared out of her mind she flew in the air and dove right in only to be dragged down by her feet, kissed up her body underneath the water, and stripped of her bikini bottom before she kicked him in the chest and launched herself halfway out, shivering and flailing about trying not to cry._

"_JACK!" her lips turned blue. Hugging herself as he slingshot her bikini bottom onto the floating dock, she sniffled and tried to get herself to cry so he'd really feel guilty, "Why would you do that?" shivering at the puppy frown he gave her she pouted her lower lip and immediately clamped onto him as he rested her on his stomach once more._

_A rub of his nose against hers and a kiss to the throat, "I'm only playing with you"_

"_Not a funny joke" her arms folded across her chest crossly and she frowned, "What if you are really dying one day and I think you are joking?"_

"_Kitten" he frowned and allowed her hands to find his hair to smooth it back, "I love you."_

_Taking the fingers on her left hand in his, he admired the wedding rings in the sunlight before kissing them and swimming with her clinging to him towards the floating dock since she could no longer move without the bottom to her suit. _

"_What ARE they doing…?" Trish chuckled from the shore as she and Ron walked hand-in-hand, Trish taking the opportunity to pull a camera out and smile as Jack exited the water and grabbed Mindy's bikini while she rested with her hands over the edge of the dock keeping her half-submerged. _

"_Who knows" Ron waved them off with a shake of the head, "Trailer park over there hasn't trashed his teeth yet with cancer sticks, so he's probably overdue"_

"_Stop" Trish waved him off and shook her head, "You KNOW he hadda come"_

"_When can't he?" Ron rolled his eyes as Jack actually lied on his stomach and tucked Mindy's bikini under his chest even though she tried grabbing for it. "Since Kangaroo Boy hopped out from down-under he's been up her ass."_

"_She's completely obsessed with him" Trish shook her head, "He chucked his whole life out the window to say he'll be there to brush her hair and help her get dressed in twenty years when she's an official space cadet and no longer knows his name. You know the disorder worsens with age"_

"_And now look at how well they've done" Ron shrugged nastily, "High school dropouts relying on her pending debut album and his hard labor"_

"_They'll be alright" Trish shrugged while watching them kiss from afar and readying the camera to take a lovely picture, "it'll happen for her."_

"_They're trying to get pregnant, you know" Ron told her out of the blue as Trish refrained from taking the picture of her sister making out with her husband._

"_Bullshit…" Trish covered her hand over her mouth when Ron shook his head._

"_God's honest truth, Pat" he nodded, "He told me flat they were gonna do it"_

"_Maybe down the road…?" she cringed when he shook his head._

"_Now."_

"_Why?" worriedly she shook her head, "They can't even afford each other and now they're bringin' a BABY into it? Are they insane?"_

"_Well…" he shrugged, "She's paranoid schizophrenic…no word on pretty-boy yet."_

"_Oh you ARE terrible…" Trish snorted before snapping the picture of Jack's hand on Mindy's neck and their lips half an inch away from the other._

"Creep" that high-pitched Canadian accent turned the Joker's attention to the doorway. Mindy squealed and bolted into the room the moment he stood up, jumping and hooking her legs around his waist happily, "You STAYED! I am so PROUD!"

"Don't get used to it" he warned lowly though she wasn't even listening. Her fingers had woven into his hair and her lips trailed all through it because of how unusually soft and dry it was.

"You bathed…?" her eyebrows rose and her head shook at him in astonishment.

"They hijacked me, what did you want me to do?" a roll of his tongue.

"And you smell so nice…" her face buried in his hair and she kissed it before giggling, "Who are you and what have you done with my pain in the ass?"

"You…" he grimaced and cocked his head with a frown, "REALLY are taking this for SO much more than it actually is"

"Because dirtbag decided to take a bath? Yes" she nodded and ran her fingers through his wavy light green hair, "It is that rare of an occurrence."

"What do you want?" skeptic of her legs around his waist and her mouth all over his face and neck voluntarily he furrowed his brow, "Your nagging is less riling than usual"

"I missed you so much" she nodded though he slapped a hand to his thigh.

"Nice to know you think of me as you're plowing someone else, Kitten"

"Hey!" she tapped his nose with her index finger and shook her head, "I will have you know that I know something you do not and you will kill me for the information because it will help you and-"

"Does he have nickel or brass doorknobs?" he was clearly joking, but she took it seriously and wrinkled her nose.

"I do not remember"

"Of course you don't…" he sighed and ran a hand through the disheveled raven hair, "Spit it out."

"Batman is Bruce Wayne!"

That made things mighty quiet. At first he blanked, then he smirked, and finally his face buried in her shoulder because he was laughing so hard, actually wheezing for breath he found it to be so hilarious.

"What?" crossly she frowned, "I am telling the truth!"

"And WHAT…my dear…" he tilted his head, "led you to draw such a conclusion?"

"Well" she shrugged and tightened the hold her arms had around his neck, "I was playin' on the piano"

"By yourself…?"

"Mhmmmm" leaning in she brushed her lips against his sensually to keep his attention, but his tongue went right out and licked her on purpose so she shrieked a giggle and pulled back to continue, "We were sleeping-"

"Yeah…" he compressed his lips and shook his head curtly, "I call bullshit"

"AFTER we fucked"

"That's more like it" he nodded to receive a smack on the chin as she continued.

"I went off on my own because I felt guilty and missed you"

"Which one was it…?"

"Both" she nodded and nuzzled his neck before kissing him, "I love you."

"On with story" he waved impatiently, not even bothering to respond or kiss her back, "Talk, Kitten, talk."

"Okay, okay, okay…" she nodded and curled her lips in, tapping his shoulders excitedly for her climatic point to come, "So I hit a few weird keys not on purpose and found an elevator because the bookshelf opened up"

"This is getting more and more untenable, I hope you know that"

"Shut up and let me tell my damn story" her hand went over his mouth when he licked it and she twitched, "EW!" sticking her tongue out she wiped the saliva-covered hand on his shirt, "NASTY!"

"Funny you have no problem putting my mouth anywhere but-"

"SHUSH!" she shook her head and growled, "CHRIST on a pony you are annoying!"

"I'm sorry" his hands went up and she forcibly dragged them down and made them hold up her butt even though her legs were securely locked around his waist, "PLEASE continue…"

"So…" snorting a moment she sighed and took a deep breath through her nose, "I went down the elevator into the basement all the way down and find a fucking cave of wonders with Batman's shit everywhere. His butler finds me there and pretty much tells me Bruce is Batman and yeah" she shrugged and stroked his face with her fingertips, "I thought you would get a kick out of that."

"You DO know how to get me going…" he nodded with a low husky groan before moving his head so his lips rested against hers and roughly they breathed into the other's mouth until she just went for it and kissed him. He did twitch at first but she didn't care, her mouth completely devoured him in a matter of seconds and naturally he didn't do a damn thing to stop it. Her tongue jammed down his throat so fast he almost coughed before returning the favor and smiling under his breath, "Wayne, huh?"

"Shut up please" she nodded and began pumping her hips against his, but the wheels in his head were already turning as he nodded,

"This is gonna be fun…"

"After we get fucking smashed" she nodded and dropped her mouth to his throat because her face was quickly being covered in makeup, "Babe I need a fucking drink and I need it NOW"

"Bat-breath doesn't consume any…" he narrowed his eyes and shifted a bit while licking his lips, "alcoholic beverage…of any kind…?"

"Mhm" she nodded and kissed the hollow of his throat, "Not one drop."

"So he tells YOU"

"You give him anything he will pretend to drink it or get rid of it" she nodded before closing her hand over his, "Trust me."

"And what…" he gingerly ran his fingers through her hair, "do you think I should do knowing that Bat-breath happens to be the prince of this city?"

Shrugging she leaned so her mouth covered his ear and whispered, "Whatever you want…you know you got me."

"I think I'll hold you to that" he nodded wisely as she giggled and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"Were they angels for you?" she asked hopefully and upon sitting in a chair he shook his head.

"More like demons"

"You love them" smiling dryly she kissed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair, "And they are just as crazy about you."

"Your son" he lifted his eyes to the ceiling which she corrected by forcing his chin to face her.

"OUR son"

"Yeah yeah, whatever…" his eyes widened nervously and he leaned back to look her in the eye, "he's a maniac."

"So were you at his age" her nose rubbed against his and they kissed until he pondered that sentence and shook his head.

"We were five"

"Four, five, same shit you were a fucking lunatic nobody wanted to be with you because you had a rocket up your ass all the time"

"YOU did"

"You were my only friend" pulling on his tie she tried her best to get it off him somehow, "I did not exactly have the right to judge."

He opened his mouth to respond to that but the way her face just kind of fell…her eyes dropped and her whole body hunched something was very wrong. He didn't need any other indicator.

"What's the matter?" already he was playing with the ends of her thick raven hair assuming he said or did something as always.

Collagen-fused lips quivered and her clouded eyes barely lifted from the ground to look at him, "Am I pretty?"

Groaning he rolled his eyes and didn't do much to hide his displeasure of the age-old argument, "Judging by your track record of BatWayne and myself I'd say you're physically appealing"

Of course she didn't like that answer. Instead her arms coiled around his body like an anaconda vice and her head nestled into his chest, shaking and breathing erratically to hide she was crying but failing miserably. He did feel bad, so one lithe hand took her chin and tilted her head back so he could look her in the eye.

"You ARE beautiful" giving the faintest trace of a smile he pet her face with the open palm of the opposite hand, "You ripped your face off for yourself not for me. I never wanted to alter your appearance."

She shivered with every word, gripping his vest in her tiny fists and sobbing erratically.

"Don't listen to the venom of an envious histrionic who would tell you that arsenic was cough syrup because you happen to be one who believes EVERYTHING you hear…" his eyebrows rose and he smiled, which made her eyes widen in astonishment that he knew what was making her go banana sandwich without her spelling it out, "Between you and me…" he cringed and clicked his tongue, "I prefer brunettes."

Immediately she started giggling and he smiled too, kissing the top of her head where the medium-brown roots were beginning to grow in. Getting involved between two women's spats was just something he didn't do, so instead he gave a nice alternative.

"Stop hanging around her, alright?"

"Did you tell her…?" her eyes got big and glazed over, and he shook his head.

"Not unless you want me to" kissing her temple he expected that to be all, but still she was a sobbing wreck.

"Do you mean I am pretty for real or are you lying?"

Sighing in exasperation his mouth latched right onto hers and he hugged her around the waist with a single arm, pulling back to tap his index finger on the tip of her pointed nose, "If you'd take a minute to stop questioning me you'll realize I'm the ONLY person truly on your side no matter how ridiculous the" he licked his lips, "pre-DIC-a-ment. So will you stop this?"

She nodded like a child.

"You mean it?"

More childish nodding.

"Fine. All better?"

"I love you, Jack"

"Speaking of…" he smiled thinly and reached into his pocket, "since you were all up my ass…" out came a prepaid cell phone and Mindy's hands went right over her mouth, "NOW…" he grinned at the smile which zapped across her face, "whenever you feel inclined to pester me…" they kissed, "I pay it in cash, the Italians spared me a favor as long as I keep the Batman off their backs"

"I love you" she giggled and grabbed the phone before plugging in her number and giving his wrist a kiss, "Mmm I love you, I love you, I do!"

"Terrorists love these puppies because the government can't track who owns what…" he narrated for her while kissing the top of her head, "but if they followed through and implemented registration in order to own one, they would violate the freedom and privacy allowed by them. So in a way…" he licked his lips and kissed the top of her head again, "these might help circumvent government oppression and censorship, allowing improved reporting and coordination of dissidents under oppressive regimes."

"And what the fuck do I care about any of that?" she frowned and snuggled under his chin, "You got a god damn phone now you better keep it on you."

…

Approaching Bruce as he sat in front of a computer attempting to find humane ways to declaw a cat, Alfred took one glance and frowned before placing a tray of tea and toast down beside the keyboard.

"And how was YOUR night, Master Bruce?" he grinned at the little smirk that came from Bruce before shaking his head, "Forget I asked."

"I'm seeing her again tomorrow" he glanced up at Alfred and nodded, "She'll probably be spending the night or…" he shifted his attention towards a vast window to search for the Batsignal, "however much of the night I can afford to stay"

"So you'll be leaving ME the mast is what you're saying?"

"Yeah"' Bruce gave him a single nod and continued skimming down the page with his eyes, "She's fascinating, Alfred."

"She's a tease"

"She's incredible" Bruce finished the sentence and smiled to himself while reading the webpage, "She likes baking and crap…" his eyebrows rose paternally and he cracked a weak smile, "TRY to be nice."

"Never fear, Master Wayne" Alfred skim-read the webpage before giving him a nod, "She and I are well acquainted."

"I'm glad"

The very fact that everything had been soaring right over Bruce's head was worrying his longtime friend and guardian. Miss Stratigias—Mrs. Napier legally—was in every position to grind Bruce's heart in a blender if her master bid it so.

* * *

"_Into a limbo large and broad, since called The Paradise of Fools, to few unknown."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	34. Chapter 34: Poker Face

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"I contemplated suicide to this song" a tipsy Mindy announced quite slowly as she nestled deeper into the Joker's chest plate on the couch in her great room.

To celebrate the discovery of Batman's identity she'd whipped out some illegal Four Lokos for herself, and unfortunately he couldn't resist the pull of beer mixed with caffeine so he sat with her and got smashed. Subconsciously it was an excuse to stay with her, but he wouldn't admit that.

She had 'Iris' by Goo Goo Dolls playing and he was really too lazy to go turn it off.

"Touching story" he responded with a bit of a drawl while dropping his head to the top of hers and just keeping it there like a dog. His left arm actually draped around her shoulders with an open flask of whiskey hanging from it, "Why?"

"Why what?" she frowned and took his opposite hand in hers, "The words speak for themselves do they not?"

"Hm?" he cleared his throat and frowned, "I wasn't listening."

"You never do" she groaned when he shook his head and sighed before dipping his head back, licking his lips, and staring at the ceiling before taking a deep breath. "You never listen to me."

His finger rose and immediately he violently shook his head because he was drunk, "NOT true."

"Prove it"

"What about…" he waved a hand, "this emotional train wreck of a melody makes you feel the need to pull the plug?"

"Well" she shrugged, "If you are interested…"

"I am"

"Liar" she kissed his fingers before sighing, "The first verse makes me think about how much I FUCKING love you to death always and forever and never wanna be away from you because you are everything to me and I would die without you because…" she realized he was about to tune out so she shrugged, "the rest lets me know it was too good to be true and that it had to die at some point because crazy people do not deserve to be-"

"It didn't" he tilted his head back and crossed his arm over her body to down another gulp of whiskey, "Next."

"I never wanted to lose you" she confessed miserably, tears filling her eyes as they just sat there together, "but it all happened so fast-"

"Obviously you didn't shake me even when you wanted to" he rose both eyebrows, "You're stuck with me Kitten."

"I thought you hated me" she sniffled when he rolled his eyes and waved her off.

"Now you're just FISHING for me to say something"

"And what if I am?" she shrugged and kissed his fingers more, "What will you do about it?"

Pouting his lips he grabbed her chin and they kissed, putting a smile on her face and they kissed again when Mindy pulled her pink Macbook out and opened it up just for fun.

"You gotta see this site Trisha Anne and I found the other day because her magazine came in and we were curious"

"Do I want to know?"

"You will like it" her tongue poked between her teeth and she giggled while typing in the address on top and clicking into the site, "Cosmo had this funny thing on 77 Sex Positions in 77 Days"

He cringed and rubbed the back of his neck, "That sounds painful"

"I feel like we have done like half of them at some point" she clicked onto 'Day 4' which was a special on morning sex, "Oh that is my fucking favorite"

"Literally" he snickered with a kiss to her temple when she clicked onto 'Day 7' and he wrinkled his nose, "No. I hate that."

"Me fucking too" she nodded with a wrinkled nose and shook her head. Once clicking onto 'Day 10' though her expression changed, "Bam! Love that!"

"You're a good one to fuck on a table I'll give you that" his fingers started playing with her hair as she nodded and clicked onto the next one, "You don't like a lot of shit though"

"Oh please" she rolled her eyes and smirked, "I take your rough shit any day! You got me against WALLS" she made him laugh and pretended to be slammed against a wall, "BAM! Against DOORS…BAM!" she threw herself against a 'door' and made him laugh yet again, "You are a kinky little one you like that rough shit"

Feigning a smile he grabbed her nose between the knuckles of his index and middle fingers.

"I like you on top best" she nodded and ran a finger lightly down the bridge of his nose not to screw his makeup completely, "You make me feel really special…Or" she smiled, "I like in a bed sitting up like this, you know?" she motioned to their seated upright position on the couch, "I love grinding and getting all sweaty and gross"

"Nails" he made a claw with his hand and raked the air for her with a nod, "I like…" he raked the air again and nodded, "nails"

"I know" she nipped his earlobe and swung a leg over his waist so she straddled him and began kissing all over his neck and onto his face, "You get all cute and tensey when I do that"

"I like when my back bleeds" he nodded while leveling his head to look her in the eye and roll his tongue around his mouth, "I like it" he nodded in a hoarse whisper, "A LO-T."

"Lucky nobody sees you without the shirt on or you would get lots a' questions" she giggled and nuzzled him before kissing his neck and finding a hickey she gave him under a pile of makeup, tracing it with the tips of her fingers and smiling softly.

"Like I don't have enough SCARS, thank you very much" he drank the whiskey again before pausing and blinking a few moments until she kissed him hungrily, digging her nails all over his body and grinding her hips against his.

"You are soooo lucky I am not a cannibal or I would eat you ALIVE"

"Mmm" he groaned and leaned back so he could see her teeth, "WOULD you now?"

"Mhmmm" nodding she licked his neck and nibbled on his lower lip happily, really getting her nails in there so his spine arched happily and her arms coiled right around his neck as she launched further up his body, releasing a lifelike feline growl, "RAWR!"

"Kitten…" he eyeballed her frame and though he normally wasn't interested in them, drunk Joker didn't mind tugging her tank top down so her chest popped out, "If you wanted…" he sighed and looked off to the side, "to tear me apart so desperately you should have asked" he licked his lips and nodded, "that would have been intelligent."

That made her grin, pin him to the couch, and press her body as compact to his that she could get it while talk-singing into his mouth as he kissed her, "_Your little heart goes pitter patter, I want your liver on a platter" _her fingers dug into his lower abdomen before biting his fingers,_ "Use your finger to stir my tea, and for dessert I'll suck your teeth!" _her lips switched to his mouth and much to any other woman's disgust her lips latched right onto his teeth and she nibbled at them happily_, "Be too sweet and you'll be a goner, yep I'll pull a Jeffrey Dahmer!"_

"He raped, killed, and ate men"

"It is a song that came on while I was dyeing Tryggy's hair and I thought about you…"

"I'm sure" his eyebrows rose and he leaned forwards to get her to kiss him harder.

"I like Kesha, but not like Lady Gaga she's my favorite"

"Who?" he frowned when she moved her leg from around his waist to grab her Macbook, which made him groan unhappily but she smacked his chest.

"Oh hush up!" sniffling and settling in his lap she smiled as he dropped his head to her shoulder and just watched contently as she pulled up the page of herself and Lady Gaga at the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards…

"Oh…" he cringed and grimaced with a shake of the head, "and I thought I was hideous"

"Shut up you are BEAUTIFUL"

He studied the picture more carefully and his face contorted in bewilderment, "Is she wearing raw meat?"

"Mhm" she nodded and plugged her iPod into the USB port, "And I think this is the funniest shit ever…"

"Christ no" he moaned but of course was ignored when she plugged it in and pressed play on a particular favorite of hers.

_I see you driving 'round town__  
__With the girl I love and I'm like,__  
__Fuck you!_

"Oh Kitten please…" groaning he lied back but she didn't listen and simply chirped as the song began.

_I guess the change in my pocket__  
__Wasn't enough I'm like,__  
__Fuck you!__  
__And fuck her too!__  
__I said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya__  
__Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)__  
__Although there's pain in my chest__  
__I still wish you the best with a__  
__Fuck you!_

"I know the WHOLE song!" she nodded happily and immediately his arm wrapped around her waist to keep her from getting up.

"No" he moaned lazily and shook his head, "You…" he pointed to the couch and refused to let her stand, "stay right…here."

_Yeah I'm sorry, I can't afford a Ferrari,__  
__But that don't mean I can't get you there.__  
__I guess he's an Xbox and I'm more Atari,__  
__But the way you play your game ain't fair._

"Look at you…" she sighed and shook her head at him, "you are so absorbed in your whining you are not paying attention to my serenade"

"Don't give me that bullshit you're not serenading…" he shook his head and shrugged, "no" his mouth floated an inch from hers and he bit at her neck, "you're sacrificing my ears because you know I won't shut it off if you like it"

"Damn right you won't"

_I pity the fool that falls in love with you__  
__(oh shit she's a gold digger)__  
__Well__  
__(just thought you should know nigga)__  
__Ooooooh__  
__I've got some news for you__  
__Yeah go run and tell your little boyfriend!_

"Kitten" pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to look her in the eye he groaned, "I love you…" she was too absorbed in her song to hear it, "but I…" he slapped his hands together and groaned.

"_I see you driving 'round town __with the girl I love and I'm like, __Fuck you!__"_ she sang lowly while straddling over him once more and brushing her lips to his.

_Ooo, ooo, ooo__  
__I guess the change in my pocket __wasn't enough I'm like, __Fuck you! __And fuck her too!__  
__I said, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya__  
__Ha, now ain't that some shit? (ain't that some shit?)__  
__Although there's pain in my chest__  
__I still wish you the best with a__  
__Fuck you!__  
__Ooo, ooo, ooo__  
_

"What's so bad about us?" he shrugged indifferently when she scowled and placed her hands on her hips.

"Everything, Nancy" they kissed and her hips rocked against his.

_Now I know, that I had to borrow,__  
__Beg and steal and lie and cheat.__  
__Trying to keep ya, trying to please ya.__  
__'Cause being in love with you ass ain't cheap.__  
__I pity the fool that falls in love with you__  
__(oh shit she's a gold digger)__  
__Well__  
__(just thought you should know nigga)__  
__Ooooooh__  
__I've got some news for you__  
__ha ha, oh I really hate your ass right now_

"Alright…" he held his hands up and shrugged in defeat, "you are…" he looked up and licked his lips, "officially…batshit insane. I hope you know that"

"Because I actually have a taste in music instead of pacing around with my little stopwatch plotting ways to kill Batsy and pretend you don't love me?"

"Stop" he drank more and warned her, "Stop that. People can hear you."

_I see you driving 'round town__  
__With the girl I love and I'm like,__  
__Fuck you!__  
__Ooo, ooo, ooo__  
__I guess the change in my pocket__  
__Wasn't enough I'm like,__  
__Fuck you!__  
__And fuck her too!_

"Oh really?" she shrugged and glanced about, "Where are they?"

"There…" he motioned all around them and her lips quivered. He wasn't joking. He was being dead serious so she had to shut the music off immediately.

"Hey…!" her hand went to his face and she shook her head quickly, "NO ONE is here but us okay?"

His eyes drifted elsewhere so she snapped his attention back to her and shook her head.

"Hey! Look at me…!" she was speaking to him like Chelsea and he looked at her, "Stop it. You always make ME stop it"

"Kitten…" licking his lips she knew whatever he was about to say was going to be fabulous, "Do you remember…when I told you…" he thought a moment before nodding, "that I saw my father the other day?"

"No" her head shook immediately and her eyes narrowed, "Daddy's dead you know that. You killed him, Jack. You did" holding his face and gently running her fingers along the scars she nodded, "He's gone…"

The contradictory and delusional views of his past were always bad enough, she had essentially become a lighthouse keeper for the two of them and Amber was immediately picking up the slack. Obviously the Joker never recovered and was spinning himself a deeper, more tangled web of lies every day. He'd already lied to the late Rachel Dawes about something significant, and now he was lying to his own wife about something she witnessed. She watched him kill his father. She watched him rip his mouth apart and give him a Columbian necktie for killing his mother.

"You say that…" he licked his lips and frowned to continue when she shook her head and gave him a hard kiss.

"I KNOW that…as the only fucking person who loves you I KNOW that."

"Oh yeah" he nodded with wide eyes, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair, "to the point that you're SLEEPING WITH my favorite playmate"

"I DIDN'T KNOW!" she shouted folding her arms across her chest and moving to get off him when he held her thighs down and shook his head, "JACK"

"No…"

"JACK!"

"No" he shook his head with a frown and wrapped his arms tight around her torso, "NO."

"Why NOT?" she scowled and struggled to get him off, "You want me away you ALWAYS want me away"

"NOT true…" he drawled out in a drunken slur and shook his head, "Noo no no no no…YOU" he pet her face frantically and nodded, "stay with ME…"

"Why?" she demanded coldly, "Tell me why NOW or I SWEAR I'll claw your fuckin' eyes out."

"What…?" he traced a finger along her lips before shrugging, "SMILE, will ya?"

Her expression steeled tenfold.

"Look…" breathing in agitation through his nose there was only one way to truly get out of it, "if you need me to spell it out any more frequently I may shoot myself with a dart gun"

"Why?" again, "Why am I not allowed to leave?"

"Darling…" he began in a high sarcastic voice before tangling a hand in her scalp to bring their faces close, "I'm DYING in love with you"

"I knew that"

"Then why the hell have me embarrass myself and-"

"You should NOT" she didn't care how he flinched back at that, "be 'embarrassed' to tell me you love me when you know I would fucking DIE for you, ya son of a bitch"

"Hey! Hey-hey!" shaking his head he held her face and his entire expression softened, smiling sweetly at her for a moment before she forsaked being angry and forced him to make out with her whether he was planning on it or not.

"What…" breaking the kiss she groaned drearily and shrugged, "the FUCK…" she sniffled and ran a hand through her hair, "is wrong with us? Huh? What did we DO? What the HELL did we DO to-"

"Can you stop being bitter and accept things as they are?" he shrugged and motioned around them, "I-I'M happy…" he nodded and smoothed her hair nervously, "YOU should be-"

"I have to spend my life alone because you chose…" she waved a hand around with a snarl, "THIS"

"But I love you!" he piped meekly and nodded with big eyes, "I really love you, Kitten! Since I was five years old promising you 'jewelries' and 'mansions' I was going to build myself"

A hand went over her mouth and she started crying.

"But hey! Look at me!" he pulled her chin closer and smiled, "We made it! Twenty-four years later, we made it right? We had five, almost six, mistakes"

"BABIES"

"Yeah, yeah…offspring…"

"You LOVE them"

"I do" sober Joker would be kicking his ass now, "but…" he slammed a fist to his palm, "that's not the POINT! No…" he shook his head and they kissed, "the POINT…" he moved her eyes to his, "look at me, Miranda Marie…" reluctantly she did so, "the POINT is that we survived…we're survivors, the both of us…and now we get to show the world JUST how strong we really are"

"But…" her lips curled and moved to the Chelsea grin on his face, planting slow passionate kisses along each gruesome indent and tangling a hand of her own in his hair. Getting an idea to woo her he smirked and pulled her hip-length mess of hair out of her face while skimming down her iPod.

"C'mere…"

Her lips pouted in astonishment as he stood off the couch with her and jacked the volume as loud as it could go…'Poker Face' by Blowsight.

"Jack?" giggling and watching as his lips pulled into a smirk and he started circling her like a vulture, she heard the heavy guitars kick in a very familiar melody and that was it. On cue he grabbed her arm and twirled her until she was reeled with her back completely flat against his abdomen and long arms coiled around her tiny frame. Lips brushed against her ear as he huskily sang every word along with the lead vocalist of Blowsight.

"_I wanna hold em' like they do in Texas Please_" ripping her neck back by her hair he kept his lips flat rested on her ear and her back completely glued to his torso, "_Fold em' let em' hit me raise it baby stay with me (I love it)"_ pressing his groin against her butt, her spine arched in pleasure and her tongue darted right out over her plump lips.

He had her completely mesmerized and at his mercy, keeping the arm he had locked around the front of her waist there and releasing her hair so her head could rest against his vest-covered chest. The long fingers trickled down her throat gingerly.

_"Luck and intuition play the cards with Spades to start____" _the hand moved from her throat to her chest to rest over her right breast, sparking a gasp-like moan,___ "__And after she's been hooked I'll play the one that's on her heart"_

Her short cat-like spine arched when her breast was squeezed and her butt rammed as hard into his groin as she could grind, tossing the hip-length raven mess back and enjoying the way he actually pressed back against her.

_"Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-ohh-oh-oh____" _he smiled under his breath the moment her arm reached back and yanked at his tie in a desperate attempt to get it off, _"I'll get her hot, show her what I've got"_

Enjoying every millisecond she began to wriggle her tiny body like any other girl would in a club and ground against him as he allowed her to loosen the tie.

_"Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-ohh-oh-oh,"_ the harder she pressed against him the firmer her breast was grasped and one hand of his drifted between her legs and rubbed her torturously slow through the fabric of her green Juicy sweats, _"I'll get her hot, show her what I've got"_

She was eating from the palm of his hand, wildly responding to the fervid touch between her legs and smiling as it actually seemed he was dancing along with her.

_"Can't read my,_ _Can't read my_ _No she can't read my Poker Face" _

She was smiling from ear to ear and keeping her arms roughly over the ones roaming her body freely, grasping and groping her to the point that she nearly came undone twice.

_"(She has got me like nobody)_ _Can't read my_ _Can't read my_ _No she can't read my Poker Face_ _(She has got me like nobody)"_ one of his hands began to travel under her white tank top and rest over the red lacy pushup DD cup bra, _"P-p-p-Poker Face, p-p-Poker Face_! _P-p-p-Poker Face, p-p-Poker Face!"_

Spinning her out and smirking wickedly because her face had gotten so flushed from him slowly he approached and pulled her in so he could lean down and sing into her open mouth.

_"I wanna roll with her a hard pair we will be____" _he got her top over her head with one clean swipe and her fingers had gotten the buttons off his green vest, _"A little gambling is fun when you're with me (I love it)"_

She got the vest off him and kept her lips nearly glued to his while working on getting his suspenders off his shoulders so they hung from his pants. Out of his pocket came a handgun and he ran it along her neck loving the goosebumps it created.

_"Russian Roulette is not the same without a gun____" _he smirked and tossed the gun aside before grabbing her hair and letting her pull the suspenders off him finally so they hung there, ___"__And baby when it's love if it's not rough it isn't fun"_

One short leg shot up and hooked around his waist, dry-humping him with ease while waiting to hopefully be kissed.

_"Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-ohh-oh-oh"_ he ran a hand down her chest and gripped her leg firmly with the other___, "__I'll get her hot, show her what I've got"_

Immediately her fingers were ripping open the buttons to the button-down he always wore, her lips finding his chest and kissing the skin as more and more buttons came undone.

_"Oh, oh, oh, oh, ohhhh, ohh-oh-ohh-oh-oh,"_ finally getting them all undone she smiled coyly and waited for him to get close to her face and dip her like in an old movie, arching her spine all the way over while kissing her lips, _"I'll get her hot, show her what I've got!"_

Quickly he got her back on her feet as she pulled the button-down off and smiled at his bare chest, running her manicured fingers along it as he sang to her.

_"Can't read my,_ _Can't read my_ _No she can't read my Poker Face_ _(She has got me like nobody)"_ he had a hand slipped under the velvety fabric of her pants playing with the want that he put there, so quickly lifting her he removed her pants so she stood before him in a red lace bra and thong,___ "__Can't read my_ _Can't read my_ _No she can't read my Poker Face_ _(She has got me like nobody)"_

The song slowed dramatically and she smiled meekly at the way he was looking at her, grinning the moment he stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his neck.

_P-p-p-Poker Face, p-p-Poker Face_  
_P-p-p-Poker Face, p-p-Poker Face_  
_P-p-p-Poker Face, p-p-Poker Face_  
_P-p-p-Poker Face, p-p-Poker Face_

_"I won't tell you that I love you_ _Kiss or hug you" _he leaned down and started to sing, but then stopped at that part and just opted to bump the bridge of his nose against hers. He did love her that wasn't fair.

_I won't tell you that I love you_  
_Kiss or hug you_  
_I won't tell you that I love you_  
_Kiss or hug you_  
_I won't tell you that I love you_  
_Kiss or hug you_

_"But she has got me like nobody" _

Smiling cheekily he leaned down and kissed her as the tune picked back up, lifting one of her legs so they could press against the other while running his free hand over her chest.

"_Can't read my,_ _Can't read my_ _No she can't read my Poker Face_ _(She has got me like nobody)" _

He was smiling and she was smiling, actually turning back around and bending very low like a stripper on an imaginary pole and slowly rising back up with her butt as into his groin as she could get it, spinning back around and continuing the closest they ever got to sex without actually having sex.

_"Can't read my_ _Can't read my_ _No she can't read my Poker Face_ _(She has got me like nobody)"_

Her legs were hooked around his waist and BAM! She got HIM against the wall which he held both arms up to and being a guy, didn't object to a damn thing.

_Can't read my,_  
_Can't read my_  
_No she can't read my Poker Face_  
_(She has got me like nobody)_  
_Can't read my_  
_Can't read my_  
_No she can't read my Poker Face_  
_(She has got me like nobody)_

The unceremonious stripping led to silent but passionate sex which eventually spilled into her bedroom and didn't exactly end for an undisclosed amount of time.

* * *

_"Carnal desire inflaming. He on Eve__  
__Began to cast lascivious eyes, she him__  
__As wantonly repaid: in lust they burn__  
__Till Adam thus gan Eve to dalliance move"_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	35. Chapter 35: Gauntlet

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Lucius Fox sat at his desk undergoing the blueprint for an even more advanced and durable Batsuit alteration because Batman just kept tearing it up. The last person he wanted to see sat right down in front of him. At first Lucius was about to stash away the designs, but upon lifting his eyes he realized that he didn't have to.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Reese?"

"Yes" straightening a bit uncomfortably and shifting his position yet again, Coleman nodded along and swallowed hard, "We need to…talk…"

"Talk, Mr. Reese?" Lucius removed his glasses and tilted his head with interest for the materialistic little parasite who was Bruce's attorney to continue.

"Yeah…" clenching his teeth and darting his eyes both ways, Coleman swallowed hard and drummed his fingers together, "has Mr. Wayne been trying to dig into his trust fund without contacting me?"

"No?" furrowing his brow, Lucius was now more than curious for Reese to continue.

"Because I tried to access his funds to make a transaction but…" he cringed, "it's all sealed up."

"What do you mean 'sealed'?"

"I mean completely FROZEN. I can't see what's being spent, I can't check a balance, there isn't even access to past transactions and withdrawals it's completely sealed shut."

"When was this?" immediately Lucius was alarmed as he rightfully should be as CEO of Wayne Enterprises, and Reese cringed once again and frowned.

"I got locked out this morning…"

"And has any of this been brought to the attention of Mr. Wayne?"

"THAT'S why I came here…" Reese nodded with a grimace and checked all around him nervously once more, "The access code was mine and mine alone unless you can somehow figure out what exactly was espionaged into and how"

"You're telling me you can't even SEE what balance currently is in existence?"

"Not at all" Reese shook his head, making Lucius nod and pull together a backup to somehow undo what had been done before it became a serious issue.

"Thank you for informing me, Mr. Reese" Lucius gave him a nod and out Coleman went, turning a bend to see none other than Mindy Stratus waiting for him with a smug grin.

"Mr. Reese…" she clearly slipped him a check to a mob-run bank and patted him on the back, receiving a nod from him and moving back towards a doorway where Bruce was discussing foreign deals with a member from the International Trade Department and that obviously bored the shit out of Mindy.

With a sigh she wrapped her arms around his waist and waited for him to finish, which he did and smiled at her fondly before his cell phone rang and he groaned.

"Bruce Wayne…" the distaste at being called was clear in his voice as he exchanged glances with Mindy, who stuck her tongue out and hugged him tighter in front of the trade director carelessly.

"Mr. Wayne…"

Bruce didn't like that tone from Lucius on the opposite end…he didn't like it at all.

"Lucius?" immediately grabbing Mindy's hand Bruce was alarmed, "Is everything alright?"

"Not exactly, Mr. Wayne…" there was a pause, "I believe you should come to my office right away."

Bruce hung up and began pulling Mindy in a direction, which made the rockstar frown and pout her lips.

"What's the matter?" she hugged his arm when he shook his head.

"I don't know" kissing her hand quickly they entered Lucius's office and immediately the CEO got off his desk and approached Bruce, shooting Mindy the evil eye which obviously the feline took a mental note to do something about. "Lucius" Bruce kept an arm around Mindy's waist and nodded.

"Mr. Wayne" Lucius nodded before double-taking between him and Mindy, "Can you spare a minute?"

"Sure" Bruce nodded and rubbed Mindy's lower back gently, "You don't mind sitting with me for a minute, do you?"

"Alone…" Lucius interrupted loudly before regaining composure, "Mr. Wayne."

"It is okay" Mindy kissed Bruce's hand quickly and nodded, "I will wait outside"

"No, are you sure?" he frowned and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Mr. Wayne" Lucius tried louder which Bruce didn't take to so kindly.

"A MINUTE, alright?" he faced Lucius angrily before touching Mindy's face and giving her a kiss, "I love you."

She said nothing but returned the kiss before touching his abs lightly and taking her leave, allowing Bruce to head back with Lucius and she made her way to the women's bathroom. A janitor was busy mopping the marbled floors but she didn't care. In she went and checked her reflection and lip gloss in the mirror before wrapping an arm around the janitor's neck, and pressing her lips to the side of his head.

"You clean up nice" she smirked and looked up to see the Joker completely without makeup in a janitor's uniform and a cap over his wet-slick hair. Catching the pun he licked his lips and shook his head.

"Is that the best you could come up with?"

"It worked"

"Of course it worked" he whispered with a roll of his eyes and slapped his thighs covered in a dark grey uniform, "I made it up."

"The lawyer is gone" she nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck so they could press lips, smiling wickedly and since they were the only ones in there getting him up against a wall, "I paid him."

"Good girl" his fingers skimmed her hair and they kissed again before Mindy lifted a leg just for the hell of lifting it and rubbed his chest, "Where's BatWayne?"

"Shhhh!" a finger went to his lips and she hushed him quickly, "In Fox's office"

"I get it" he nodded and sifted her hair yet again, "Are you going to survive the night without me?"

"Trisha Anne's watchin' the munchkins and I am taking Thorn and Scarlett to Bonehead's tonight."

"That…" sliding a hand up the tile he switched positions so he was standing over her against the wall, "didn't answer my question, Kitten."

"No" she frowned and hugged his neck loosely, "You owe me tomorrow."

"How possible…" he licked his lips and shifted from foot to foot before leaning close to her face, "do you think it is…for me to-"

"Fox knows" she nodded while looking him in the eye worriedly, "He looks at me all…" she wrinkled her nose and wiggled her fingers.

"And I…" he smiled thinly and kissed her before holding her chin, "will take care of him for you."

"Okay" she nodded with a deep breath through her nose before purring against his chest and hugging him, "Are you seriously gonna clean toilets all night?"

"Being that I cut this poor bastard off entirely?" he snickered and nodded, "He's going to need all the free labor he can get his hands on"

"Oooo" her lips pouted and she smirked, "You ARE terrible…!"

…

"So wait a minute…" Mindy paused while French-braiding Thorn's hair in the library of Wayne Manor and turned her attention to Bruce with a frown, "You are telling me that everything is frozen up?"

"According to Lucius…?" Bruce curled his lips, "Nobody has any access"

"Not even you?" she frowned when he shook his head, "Ooo I am sorry…"

"Are you poor now?" Scarlett asked Bruce and Mindy had no choice but to smack the back of her head, "OW!"

"Scarlett Amy…" Mindy shook her head maternally though Bruce took it like a champ.

"No honey…" he smiled thinly while thumbing through past bank statements when a Joker card came up and immediately Bruce was sick to his stomach. On it in print said, 'How many Fox's does it take to make a batsuit?'

"What's the matter?" Mindy pouted her lips smugly and waited for him to look at her.

"There's a uhh…" he curled his lips and swallowed hard, "problem…at the office…"

"Oh?" she frowned and tied an elastic around Thorn's long braid, "Did they find something else out?"

"I don't know…" he frowned and ran a hand through his hair, so now she stood up and touched his arm.

"You can go if ya need to, we will be alright" she nodded with big eyes, "We will not break anything, I promise."

"Oh please" his eyes widened, "Break whatever the hell you want, I just feel terrible leaving"

"Do not" she waved him off and they kissed, "Do what you need to do and we will be here when you get back"

Though he really didn't want to, ruefully Bruce swallowed hard and turned to face the doorway, "ALFRED!"

Moments later the call came back, "MASTER WAYNE?"

"I need to get to the Tower right away, do you mind staying with the girls?"

"It will be my pleasure, sir" Alfred nodded kindly with a pat to Bruce's broad shoulder, allowing the young man to give Mindy one last kiss.

"I'll try to be back"

"Take. Your. Time!" she giggled and poked her tongue between her teeth, "I am not going anywhere!"

"I'll be back" again he said with slight hesitation in his voice before taking his leave of the room, actually headed towards the Southeast Corner.

Mindy on the other hand, sighed and flopped onto a brown leather couch pulling Scarlett into her lap and pouting her lips to see what she was reading, "Do you even know how?"

"Yes, Mommy" Scarlett giggled and turned to kiss her mother, "I'm five."

"What are you reading?" Mindy pulled Thorn into her lap next when Oxa jumped up on the leather couch and Alfred said nothing about it. The feline was quite tame for a Serval.

"Thumbelina" Scarlett smiled and let Mindy tuck a long piece of blonde behind her ear, "She reminds me of you."

"I used to love that movie" Mindy grinned with a kiss to the top of her head, "Aunt Trisha said that if I were Thumbelina I woulda married the damn mole instead of the fairy prince"

"Why would you do that?" Thorn shook her head with a frown when Mindy sighed, clamped a hand into her mane of raven hair, and shrugged.

"Aunt Trisha says Mommy likes to get hurt"

"It's not your fault" Scarlett reassured her mother with a shake of the head and a cross expression, reaching up with a tiny hand to pet Mindy's face, "you're sick. You don't know any better."

"Schizophrenia I understand usually develops in adulthood…?" Alfred clapped his hands together and stood in front of the couch with a look of great curiosity.

"I was born with it" Mindy piped quietly before nodding, "I had it all my life but did not get treated or taken to a doctor until I was twelve and had no choice or I would spend my life in jail."

"You were on trial…?"

"I killed my mommy" she nodded curtly with a completely unreadable expression; eyes flatter than a piece of paper, "I took kitchen scissors and pecked the bitch's fucking eyes out when I was twelve. There is only so much a beaten, molested, neglected, and tortured kiddie can take."

"And what of your father, Miss Stratigias?"

Her eyes drifted away for a moment and she spoke in what passed as quite a faraway tone, "My Jack got him for me. He got him good so I could come home in a few years when I was fifteen."

"What then for you?"

"Well…" sighing deeply she ran a hand through her hair and hugged Thorn close, "I got signed at sixteen to Jive, we dropped out of high school sophomore year, I recorded my album, we got married at eighteen," she shrugged before motioning towards the twins, "and now…" she smiled sarcastically, "here we are!"

"How DID he die, Miss?"

"Overdosed on my antipsychotics."

…

Batman burst out of the Batcave on the Batpod at full speed.

…

In the basement of Wayne Tower at his old desk in the now-defunct Applied Sciences division was Lucius working on one of Batman's gauntlets. He leaned close with a screwdriver of sorts to make a specific alteration when a plum glove reached around and activated it, sending the razors straight through Lucius's mouth until he fell dead to his desk.

"Well…" pouting his fully made-up lips and checking the damage he'd done to Fox's face the Joker sighed, "I know how you got THOSE scars."

He lifted another gauntlet to play with it, but the razors shot out so fast he bobbled it in his hands before dropping the black object and flinching almost a foot off the ground.

…

"LUCIUS! LUCIUS!"

After kicking the doors in Batman rushed into the basement to find Lucius face down on his desk…no blood no nothing.

"LUCIUS!"

Again he rushed forwards in a pant.

"Lucius!" upon grabbing Fox's stiff shoulders he lifted his longtime friend to find his mouth and throat both completely lashed open along with a Columbian necktie…ghastly white face makeup and red, red lips to accent his extended smile.

…

As Alfred sat on the brown leather couch playing Dr. Phil with Mindy, her iPhone rang and it was Trish calling her, which was never good at this hour.

"I am so sorry, can I…?" swallowing hard she motioned to her iPhone and Alfred gave her a nod.

"Of course"

"Thank you" an appreciative nod before receiving the call, "What would you like from my life?"

"Meem!" that panicked gasp made her sister cringe and nearly drop the phone.

"This is she…" worriedly she glanced to see Thorn and Scarlett playing with Breyer horse figurines on the floor, "what is the matter?"

"Where's Bruce?"

Curling her lips in at that because she knew damn well where Bruce went (she planted the Joker card) Mindy took a quick breath.

"Here…why?"

"Oh god…" shakily Trish sighed, which annoyed her twin sister.

"Oh god what?"

"Is he around?"

"No" immediately she came to his defense and shook her head, "Why?"

"Tell him that his CEO is dead, will you?"

"OH god!" obviously faking it Mindy's hand went over her mouth and she shook her head, "How?"

"How" Trish spat, "How do you think? Joker got him!"

"Oh fuck…" Mindy shook her head and sighed, "Did you find the Joker anywhere?"

"No…" Trish sighed, "But he didn't hesitate to leave us some artwork."

"He is the god damn Joker of course he leaves you artwork."

"Yeah" swallowing hard Trish took a moment before sighing, "and I gotta go Meemsicle, Batman's here."

"Have fun…" Mindy yawned before hanging up on her and looking up at Alfred, "Fox is dead."

…

Surveying the crime scene next to Gordon, Trish could only curl her lips and shake her head with a grimace at the taped-off display of Lucius's body. Cameras were flashing everywhere and Batman could only present the card to Gordon, hanging his head and trying as hard as he could not to react the way he wanted to.

"Where did you find that?" the brunette beauty asked, and Batman could only hang his head but say nothing.

"Did you get a hold of Wayne?" Gordon frowned at Trish and the twin could only shake her head while stepping closer to Batman.

"My sister picked up…said Bruce was there but unable to come to the phone at the moment"

Batman paused to think at that, knowing full well he had told Mindy he was going to the office. She had lied for him, but why now he was curious to know.

"Alright…" Gordon exhaled, "at least the message is being carried."

Batman's eyes did not move from Lucius's body…he went as far as to drop down on one knee and bow his head.

…

"You had something to do with this…?" Alfred visibly tensed at Mindy, who slowly nodded and took a deep breath.

"I planted that card so Bruce would get a head start" her voice cracked and she gulped, "I was not supposed to plant it at all but I could not just let Bruce find out the hard way"

"So you sent him on a folly charade-"

"To MAYBE somehow give him a ghost of a chance of getting there in time?" with wide eyes she nodded, "Yes. I CARE about him, Alfred!" She curled her lips, "I do what I can for my part, but I cannot just SWITCH teams like Benedict Minx all that will do is get everyone in deeper shit than they were in to begin with"

"As much as I respect your view, Miss Stratigias, and I do…" he swallowed hard and shook his head once, "You cannot play both heroine and villainess fairly forever."

"Ever hear of an antihero?" she cracked a weak smile and shrugged, pacing about the room without making eye contact with Alfred, "I am not a monster…but I am only as good as my boss."

"Only…the Joker, Miss Stratigias?"

"Only the Joker" she nodded once.

"And what about Miss Quinzel?"

"Confused" was all Mindy said to that, "I do not understand her angle with him but it is all wrong."

"And what, in your professional opinion of course, is the correct angle to take with this man?"

"Do not appease him" she turned and shook her head gravely, "Ever. Even if he gives you a choice and it SUCKS, do not ever appease him. If you do…" she licked her lips instinctively after watching the Joker do it for so long and sighed, "he will only get worse. He will think he can get his way like a little baby and then YOU, my friend, are FUCKED."

"Is that where Harley Quinn has run into trouble?"

"Yes" she released an exaggerated sigh, "He loves the people who contradict him the most, it makes him entertained."

"Batman and yourself…"

"Yes."

"And he has expressed these feelings of attraction towards those who he feels are entertaining in a violent manner, I am assuming"

"Mutilation is the most sincere form of flattery" she sighed with a sneer before sniggering, "That is an interesting Marilyn Manson song."

"Perhaps an inspiration…?" he waved her on with a hand, "Or…?"

"He inspires himself" she said calmly with a bit of a ditzy smile, "He was this creep named Red Hood for a while who wore a red helmet over his whole head and a cape before he thought it would be cool to don the war paint."

"This was a pre-Joker alias I assume?"

"Before he carved his face up? Mhm" she nodded with pouted lips, "He fancied himself in a cape for a while before goin' with the Joker shit."

"And he told you this himself…?" Alfred questioned dubiously knowing the Joker's common method of deceit, but Mindy pursed her lips and snorted.

"You are talking to MRS. Joker, mind you…"

"You've known him your whole life?"

"Since we were five" fiddling with her own fingers Mindy nodded nervously and cracked a weak grin, "Twenty-four years of relation-shit is not always picnics."

"And you were his accomplice?"

"More like his pregnant wife."


	36. Chapter 36: Under the Red Hood

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

_Late on a Wednesday night a clearly tired Mindy had her hip-length stringy blonde hair in a low loose thick braid which trailed down the front of her body as she stood in the tiny kitchen buttering pasta for Jack since he didn't eat it any other way. They couldn't afford to really eat much else let alone live in their apartment in the worst neighborhood of Toronto. Mindy's very pregnant belly was concealed under a peach nightgown as the nineteen-year-old starlet waited for her husband to finally come home from his disgustingly long work day at a chemical plant where they abused his intelligence and paid him next to nothing. _

_The heavy rattling at the door let her know that it was being opened and in Jack came breathing hard and completely exhausted. At first he frowned because she wasn't there, but then there was a squeal and a tap to his shoulder. _

"_HI!"_

"_Kitten!" that immediately put a smile on his face and automatically his lips found hers, wrapping his long arm around his wife's neck and kissing her as long as he could hold a breath before frowning and shaking his head, "shouldn't you be asleep?" his eyes switched to the one clock they had and he shook his head, "It's nearly midnight, darling"_

"_I hadda make you dinner" she nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling thinly and kissing him until he lifted and wrapped both her legs around his waist as close as he could get her._

"_You didn't have to stay up for that" he frowned and shook his head, "Sweetheart, you could just shove it in the microwave and have gone to bed, I'll eat by myself"_

"_I did not eat yet anyway" the way she shrugged made Jack's spine snap and immediately he eyeballed her frame and shook his head._

"_Why? What's wrong?"_

"_I cannot eat without you…!" with a pout she shook her head, "I cannot sleep if you are not home either"_

"_But what about the baby?" his hand pressed to the bump on her lower abdomen and he shook his head, "We have to keep her healthy, Kitten…"_

"_And she IS!" nodding happily they kissed more and into the tiny-ass kitchen with a small wooden table they went, only sending Jack further into despair at the way she had the whole table set up for them and over she came with two plates. One had just butter on the pasta (the way he liked it) and hers had a bit of tomato sauce. _

"_Kitten…"_

"_Look" rolling her eyes she sat him down in the chair and pulled over right next to him in her own, "if I had not just cooked it now it would taste like shit, okay? Just enjoy what you have now, darling."_

"_Thank you" before he even began eating he reached over and planted a long kiss to her, giving her enough exposure from the dim overhanging lamp above the table to see the heavy bags under Jack's eyes._

"_You look sick" observing innocently she nodded and pet his beautiful beige skin, "You have not been sleeping"_

"_I can't" he kissed her cheek before trying to force himself to eat what he could even though he was so tired. It was selfish of him to think so anyway when his pregnant wife was waiting up until ghastly hours refusing to eat until he came home. "I have work and YOU occupying my time."_

"_How was shitty work?" reaching over she took his left hand and kissed it, awaiting him to swallow and deliver his answer when the power completely shut on them. At first Mindy gasped but Jack was beyond livid. _

"_Are you kidding me?" he asked no one in particular with a nasty shake of the head, "Are you FUCKING kidding me?"_

"_Jack-" _

"_I PAID this month!" _

"_Jack…" again she squeezed his hand since she could see him with the feline corneas._

"_I fucking PAID I SWEAR we aren't behind again"_

"_Jack…" quickly she grabbed his face and smiled weakly, "Relax. We got like six hours to sunrise anyway."_

"_MIRANDA" his teeth barred and he shook his head with a snarl, "That's not my point! They have NO RIGHT to"_

_Up Mindy went and into a drawer, pulling out a matchbook Jack used for his cigarettes and two candles, lighting them up and setting them right in front of them with a smug grin._

"_Candlelight dinner" she nodded happily before nestling into his lap and starting to eat once more, "Very romantic."_

"_This isn't right" of course his head dropped to her shoulder like a puppy dog and he tried eating that way, "This isn't right, Kitten, I paid this time. I made enough to make rent, I swear on all my life to you that I did"_

"_Jack…" smirking weakly she waved him off and shook her head, "this is my Barbie Dream House 'cuz YOU'RE in it." _

…

_Jack stood outside the landlord's apartment with narrowed brown eyes and a clenched fist. THUMP! THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP!_

"_HEY!" curling his lips and licking his teeth quickly, Jack wrinkled his nose and ran a hand through his long wavy blonde hair before knocking harder, "HEY!"_

_The door swung open to reveal a middle-aged bastard in a bathrobe looking quite perturbed at the sight of the tall young man staring him down with an intense hatred. _

"_The hell YOU want, Napier?"_

"_What do I want…?" he sneered before shaking his head and scowling, "I want to know WHY the day after I cut you a check you pull the electric on my apartment?"_

"_Napier…" eyeballing the young man he could only shake his head disappointedly, "You and your little wife are so behind on rent you're lucky I haven't evicted you both"_

"_Look…" slamming a hand to the doorframe Jack nervously touched his hair while drumming something up, "I work…sixteen hours a fucking day doing shit that I HATE to support my mentally ill and pregnant wife. Rent-wise I pay you what I can but you MUST understand how astronomical her medical bills are each and every month and what I have to pay to insure her and her alone?"_

"_Touching story…" the landlord nodded along, "but I need my rent within a month, kangaroo boy."_

"_I don't know what part of 'my wife is pregnant' you don't seem to understand"_

"_And I don't know where you don't get that it ain't my problem you knocked her up when ya couldn't afford it."_

"_I will sign a contract in my own BLOOD if you could PLEASE just give me a chance."_

"_ONE month, honky" the landlord raised a finger to remind him, "One month I'm giving you to clear your debt or I WILL evict you."_

_The moment the door was slammed Jack clenched a fist to swing and break the wood, but ultimately decided not to since he was fighting to stay inside the hellhole never mind be homeless. _

…

_The next night Jack again fought to keep his eyes open sitting at his desk. He was capable of so much more than what they paid him, and in return his family was suffering. Mindy tried to make everything seem so polly-perfect between the two of them even though it wasn't and it made him sick. As his best friend she knew he was capable of so much more than this and because he refused to listen to her and dropped out of high school all this was happening, but as his wife she didn't care how they were living as long as he came home every night in one piece. _

_The entire clash between somehow managing to pay the rent, Mindy's pregnancy, and his shit life in general was weighing down on him majorly. When they were babies he'd promised Mindy to the point of nausea that he'd build her a mansion and buy her all sorts of 'jewelries' because he loved her so much, but in reality? She was wearing his mother's rings because he couldn't pay for her to have one she'd truly want. His wedding ring they had to save up for, but he did have one he never took off. It completely killed him that he couldn't be with her all the time anymore and spent his entire life slaving at a desk before getting home and passing out. Typically he had Sundays off though, which in his opinion sucked because they pretty much lived from paycheck to paycheck so he wanted more hours anywhere he could get them. _

_Eventually his dark eyes lifted to see that he'd actually worked an hour overtime…one hour that he spent here without getting paid._

"_Oh fuck me…" his head shook and unceremoniously ripped off his clear goggles so they fell wherever they may lie. He'd find them in the morning he didn't care. Next he tore off his gloves and white coat. He looked so professional but without even a GED he got paid minimum wage. If he had just finished school he could have made a fortune doing this. _

_What worried him even more as he shut the lamp at his desk and stood up was that he knew Mindy hadn't gone to bed and was up waiting for him. He'd tried calling her when he worked overtime in the past to coax her into going to sleep, but she refused until he crawled into bed himself. As a schizophrenic she'd seen one too many monster movies and it had festered in her brain to the point that she was totally and completely convinced if she slept alone that the 'Oogey LADY' was coming for her. _

_Taking a sharp breath he exited through the back door as always and started along the brown wooden-planked fence to get to the main road. Wind sloshed his long wavy blonde hair around and he ran a hand through it so it'd at least stay out of his eyes. He wanted to just chop it all off since it was nothing but a pain in the ass if he didn't attempt to tie what he could in a very low bob of a ponytail, but Mindy loved it the way it was so he couldn't fathom changing it. What he didn't notice though while pent-up in angst over his shit job was the men following behind him in black leather coats. There was one at first, then two more joined behind him, and soon enough there was an entire gang following behind him without saying a thing. _

"_Workin' late, kangaroo boy?" a deep voice from beside him asked, which made Jack immediately turn and pull a knife out of his pocket. There were a good twelve to fifteen men surrounding him all in black leather jackets, which only annoyed him so he held down the knife and shook his head, holding his hands up innocently._

"_If you're looking for money, I have none" he pulled out his wallet to show them he was telling the truth and quickly skimmed through it, "No credit cards, no checkbook…" he shrugged, "I'm sorry you picked the wrong guy."_

"_Relax" one stepped forwards and chuckled lowly with a shake of the head, "We ain't lookin' to rob you." _

_Jack's eyes widened, not knowing whether he should be pleasantly surprised or terrified, "Then what do you want? I have nothing to offer any of you that you probably don't already have" warily he flashed his eyes about praying a gun wasn't pulled on him. _

"_Oh, but you do…" a third nodded with a snigger._

"_You like workin' your ass off, Napier?"_

"_It's an honest living…" Jack shrugged and dropped his eyes a bit, "not one I may necessarily WANT, but-"_

"_And how well has this 'honest living'" a man stalked closer to him and cocked his head, "treated your pretty little wife?"_

_Immediately Jack steeled and gripped the knife tighter in his hand, "What have you done with her?"_

"_Listen kangaroo boy…" the man held his hands up and shook his head, "we ain't lookin' for no trouble."_

"_Then PLEASE do tell me what you want from me so I can be on my way home."_

"_Home?" a few of them scoffed and shook their heads until another took over._

"_We seen where you live, Napier, you got that beautiful baby doll of a wife living in squalor while you break your ass each and every day to keep food on the table"_

"_How do you know my name?" Jack rose a skeptic eyebrow and scanned the situation for a possible out, if there even was one. _

"_Everyone knows you, Napier" one of the guys nodded with a snicker, "you're the only honky around, not to mention ya close the place you're always workin' so hard…poor bastard."_

"_And what can I do for you gentlemen before you let me back on my way?"_

"_A little guidance" the same guy replied with a clandestine grin. _

"_Where to?" immediately the young man perked since that seemed simple enough to be let go, but he should have known it was never that easy. _

"_See uh…" one of the men pointed behind the plant to a separate card factory next door, and Jack nodded stiffly, "only way to get there is through your building"_

"_And what the hell would you want from a card factory?" Jack scoffed and wrinkled his nose, "I haven't even been there myself."_

"_None a' your business, kangaroo boy" one warned Jack with a sharp tongue, "Bottom line you help us, we help you"_

"_HOW?"_

"_Anyone with half a brain cell knows you for that little bony peroxide-blonde" another spoke up, "Stick with us, and make such a living you'll never need another cent." _

"_Sure, Sparky" of course he didn't believe them for a hot second._

"_Look, this ain't a joke" five-hundred dollars American waved in front of Jack's face and immediately he was enticed, "Join us and we got your back, Napier. Your money-worrying days?" he waved it off, "History. Once you're a Red Hood-"_

"_I'm in" he nodded so fast they were impressed, "Whatever you want me to do I'm in."_

"_Alright, rookie" brightening the lead man snapped his fingers and soon a strange outfit was presented his way. It consisted of a folded black tuxedo with a bow tie, purple gloves, a red domed helmet, and a red cape which flowed off the back, "All virgins gotta wear the hood until you pop your cherry."_

"_Are you serious?" he wouldn't be caught dead wearing anything like this on a normal day, "This looks ridiculous, how does anyone-"_

"_Here's your advance" seven-hundred dollars American were slapped in Jack's hand along with the costume, "There'll be much more to come in time."_

"_How will I know…?" barely looking up Jack raised an eyebrow until the men continued._

"_We'll find ya, don't you worry."_

"_Why don't you go on home to the Mrs. now…?" another prompted dismissively, "Can't keep the lady waiting."_

_Jack froze for a moment; double-taking between the costume and the Red Hood gang before warily heading towards home, the men walking the opposite way. _

"_Why the hell'd you give him that?" a newbie asked one of the veteran members and received a jab with an elbow._

"_Lots a' guys gotta wear it…so if we get caught they all think he's the god damn leader."_

"_So he's a fall-guy…?"_

"_In a kickass costume."_

…

_The landlord sat on his couch watching TV when there was a series of hard knocks on the door. Grunting, he stood and trudged to the doorway where he saw Jack standing there with cash in hand and quite possibly the sternest expression he'd ever found on the handsome young man._

"_Here's your god damn rent, I want my wife out of the dark IMMEDIATELY." _

…

"_You're doing WHAT?" Mindy's shrill voice spiked to an unbearable octave while staring at the red helmet, cape, and tuxedo on the bed in front of them later that night. _

"_I got the power back on, didn't I?" Jack held her shoulders gently and moved the tresses of blonde out of her face so he could see her. Her eyes were completely downcast in horror at that outfit and her head shook frantically._

"_I cannot fucking believe you…"_

"_AND I got the rent completely squared off, Kitten, there's nothing to worry about!"_

"_Nothing to WORRY about?" she screeched and pointed to the outfit on the bed. "What in CHRIST'S FUCKING NAME is THAT? Are we CIRCUS MAGICIANS?"_

"_Miranda PLEASE!" he kissed and held her face in both his hands with a frantic shake of the head, "Just please! Please! Please listen to me!"_

"_What FOR?" she frowned and stamped her foot while folding her arms across her chest, "We are five months pregnant and do not have a DIME to our name!" completely frazzled she started twitching out, "NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR MAGIC SHOWS!"_

"_Kitten, no…!" he shook his head and began running his fingers along her skin in the gentlest manner he could, pressing airy kisses on her forehead and cheeks before shaking his head, "It's not what you think, please sweetheart, there's MONEY in this for us! BIG money if I can follow through and-"_

"_Are you in a cult?"_

"_A GANG…actually" he cringed already; he knew what was coming…_

"_WHAT? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND? A GANG? A fucking GANG! GREAT Jack! Just fucking GREAT now we are tied up with fucking evil money men and it is all YOUR fault!"_

"_Kitten, no!" both his arms hooked around her tight and his fingers dug into her scalp, "Please, darling…" despite his frantic cooing she broke into a choked sob and shook her head, "Sssshh…there, there…" he rubbed her back but she didn't listen. She only cried harder and was actually biting his shirt with her teeth to hold onto him. "Miranda, sweetheart, darling…" _

"_And…" choking she coughed and shook her head, "you are telling me that we are now officially subject to gang rules…" she sniffled, dipping her head back so he could catch how her eyes flooded with tears, "How could you do this to us? I do not need to be rich, Jack. I want you I do not care about being rich I do not"_

"_It's not ABOUT rich, Miranda, darling it's about MONEY! All anyone cares about is money! You think…" it died and he swallowed the yell down because he was scaring her, "you think the WORLD cares that we're in love? No, Kitten! The world does not fucking care for us! If WE don't take care of ourselves no one will do it for us!"_

"_I take care of you…" scoffing the ground she pouted her lips and nodded; how could he deny that? _

"_I know you do, Kitten" he nodded with wide eyes and smoothed her hair, "But NOW you have to let me take care of YOU, alright? You and the baby…"_

"_And what if you piss them off?" she rose an eyebrow and placed both hands on her hips, "What if you piss them off and they come after us? What if they hurt you or the baby?"_

"_What choice do we HAVE, Miranda?" he threw his arms out and scowled, "Get evicted and THEN what? Raise a child on the street?"_

"_So you make a deal with a GANG? JACK!"_

"_WHAT CHOICE DO I HAVE?"_

"_STOP YELLING!" _

"_I'm sorry!" he tried to hug her but she slipped right out of his grasp and cried her way to the opposite side of their cheap bed, hugging herself and shivering when he kissed her forehead and trembled at the way she was crying in front of him. He watched her cry all the time but this time it was different. "Please sweetheart…"_

"_Wh-when w-we we-were babies…" she sniffled and looked up at him longingly, opening her mouth to try and speak when he shook his head and held a hand over his mouth so she couldn't hear the way he was whimpering, but his voice ended up crackling with pure dread._

"_THIS is NOT the LIFE I WANTED for you!" he had screamed so loud she shrank back in recoil, "I promised you things I should have KNOWN I could never-"_

"_I never wanted anything from you, Jack" her head shook as she croaked it out, "I don't care about poor." _

"_Because it's all you KNOW, darling!" his eyes welled up and he rubbed them fiercely with the back of his hand so she couldn't see how puffy they were getting, "This is all MY god damn fault I've completely FAILED you as a husband"_

"_NO YOU DIDN'T!"_

"_YES I DID!"_

"_NO!"_

"_MIRANDA!"_

"_NO!"_

"_MIRANDA!" his mouth hung open at her and he did cough up tears for a fleeting fraction of a moment before holding her close and shivering violently upon burying his face in her shoulder, "I'm so FUCKING sorry…! For ALL of this…"_

"_Sssshhh…" kissing his neck and the side of his head she sniffled and hugged him tighter, "Baby please no…"_

_He coughed again and said nothing, holding onto her like a security blanket when she touched his hair and ran her fingers through it before giving his cheek a rough kiss._

"_I named her…" he didn't answer but she didn't need him to, "Carly Jade." _

…

_Exiting work the next day, Jack ran into the same group of men on the street and swallowed hard while walking past. _

"_Eight days, pretty-boy…" they warned him with a snigger, "get ready."_

…

_Standing in their one bathroom, Jack swallowed hard and stared at his reflection with everything but the helmet over his head. This was the night of the proposed robbery and to be frank he was scared shit. He'd killed his own father and his father-in-law, yet couldn't bring himself to imagine stealing. He stole lives no problem and brushed it off his shoulder, but helping armed robberies was a little outside his element. _

_Double-taking between his reflection and the helmet sitting on the rim of the bathtub, Jack breathed deeply through his nose and scowled before ripping the cape off and removing the tuxedo. Mindy was right she was fucking right all along…he couldn't do it. _

_Exhaling in exasperation after entering the kitchen, he lifted the phone and pulled Mindy into his lap as she sat there drawing at the kitchen table in the chair next to him. _

_Her band Stratusfear's debut album was recorded and now they were just set on promoting, which Jive would do for her. All the promotional pictures were going to be shot from the chest-up since she was so heavy pregnant, but they'd figure something out. Jack was counting on her record deal for so many different things it'd completely turn them around. _

"_Next Tuesday!" she nodded with a happy squeak, kissing Jack's cheek gleefully and noticing he wasn't wearing the Red Hood getup like he was supposed to, "And I thought you were gonna be a gangster?" _

"_Not anymore" he watched her face light up and she sprang onto him in a huge kiss. "I'm calling them right now to cancel it."_

"_And they will kill you for being a bitch" she nodded wisely though he disregarded it with a shake of the head and a kiss to her temple, "I am not kidding, Jack darling."_

"_Don't worry" shaking his head, he called the number and swallowed hard as he did so. _

…

_Jack approached the outside of the chemical plant with the costume in hand to give to the Red Hood gang when he realized half of them were present, which kind of flipped his stomach. _

"_You brought the suit back?" one asked and immediately Jack handed it over, "Any reason in particular for pussying out on us?"_

"_I'm not playing your little game, alright?" Jack spat with a shake of his head, "Armed robberies are just something I don't do." _

"_We understand…" the man nodded before beginning to laugh at Jack, "your pretty little baby doll on the other hand…"_

…

_Mindy screamed bloody murder after being slammed against a wall by her hair. A group of strange men wearing leather jackets surrounded her while one ripped a knife out of his pocket, making the starlet gag and scream._

* * *

"_But he that hides a dark soul and foul thoughts benighted walks under the mid-day sun; Himself is his own dungeon."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	37. Chapter 37: Whatever You Need

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

"It was his fault" Mindy nodded stiffly before shaking her head, "but I do not blame him anymore."

"What was his fault, Miss Stratigias?" it may have seemed like Alfred was digging for information out of her, but it was more Dr. Phil services than anything. Opening her mouth she went to speak but shook her head as her phone rang and she picked it up.

"What would you like from my life?"

"Miss kitty?"

Oh joy.

"Harleen Quinzel…" Mindy sighed while twirling the ends of her hair, "How may I be of assistance today?"

"Did…" she sniffled, "Did ya get a call from Mistah J by any chance?"

"Why?" immediately she was alarmed, "What is wrong with him?"

"HAH! With HIM?" she snorted, "NOTHING! He's just a big dumb-"

"I will be by with chick movies and chocolate tomorrow alright?"

"Which ones?"

Mindy barred her teeth and squeezed an imaginary stress ball in her hand before wrinkling her nose and shrugging, "I will step into the vault" her collection of movies, "and pull shit out. You will be surprised."

"I LOVE surprises!"

"Me too" she nodded before blowing a kiss into the phone, "Bye bye for now" she hung up and looked to Alfred with a cringe, but the phone rang again, "Oohhhhh fuck me sideways" noticing the foreign number Mindy rose and left the room before yawning and answering the call apathetically, "And what would YOU like from my life?"

"When do they get the hell to bed?"

The very way that was said made Mindy clasp a hand over her mouth and giggle.

"I left them with Trisha Anne who probs left them with a maid while-"

"Yeah…" the response made Mindy only shake her head while looking up at the cathedral ceilings, "You MIGHT wanna put an ad out for a new staff"

"JACK!"

"I'M babysitting."

"So you hadda KILL everyone?"

"…yeah."

"Ugh" pinching the bridge of her nose she groaned and breathed through her teeth, "Why did you not TELL me?"

"I didn't FEEL like it."

"Of course you did not" wrinkling her nose she rolled her eyes and yawned once more, "And they go to bed when you get sick of them."

"Now."

"Jack…!" checking the time on her iPhone it was retarded late, "What time did you GET there?"

"Uhh…now."

"Ah…" curling her lips she nodded stiffly, "Excellent. And what time do you plan on leaving?"

"Well Kitten, THAT all depends on the time you get here."

Poking her tongue between her teeth she teased, "And what if I never come back?"

"I guess I'll just take my shoes off and get comfortable."

"You could do that if I were there too."

"Nah"

"Why not?"

"Be-CAUSE…" he sneered, "whenever you ARE here I either end up DRUNK or completely spent."

"What can I say?" she sighed with a shrug, "I cannot keep my HANDS off you!"

"Amber made…" he paused and was studying something obviously, "cookies"

"Eat them"

"Are they any good?"

"How the FUCK should I know from Wayne fucking Manor? YOU have a mouth! Open it to move your jaw up and down WITHOUT talking for two seconds!"

"Cunt" he snapped before hanging up, which made Mindy roll her eyes and start for the library once more when 'Can't Be Tamed' resounded from her phone and made her groan with a heavy eye roll.

"Oh mother fucker are you SERIOUS?" she pressed send and wrinkled her nose, "What would you like from my life?"

"They're not bad…"

She twitched out and barred her teeth before getting ready to smack him in the mouth, "JACK!"

"Oh! And one more thing! Your…MANIAC…son thinks it's funny to have garbage bag parachutes and…LAUNCH…off the tops of the stairs"

"He is YOUR son" dryly she switched responsibility, "Until I walk in the door he is under YOUR jurisdiction."

"…Just saying…you might not want that"

"He is your son" she sighed, "anything crazy he gets from YOU."

"And what do I do with the retarded one?"

"AUTISTIC and let her watch TV. She is very quiet."

"Yeah…and she'll sit here all god damn night if I don't MOVE her"

"YOU are the parent, Jack"

"Hey! Hey Amber! Hey hey Amber!"

Mindy slapped a palm to her face, "You call ME when you have HER right there?"

"Yeah…"

"JACK!" pulling the phone from her mouth she growled like a lioness before stamping around shaking her head, "What the fuck you KNOW I am with the twins at Wayne Manor for the night"

"All night?"

"I thought you did not want to be 'drunk' or 'spent'?"

"I don't mind…really I don't."

"Jack…" pinching the bridge of her nose she barred her teeth and shook her head, "Lemme go, alright?"

"Yeah-WAITWAITWAITWAITWAIT!"

She groaned miserably.

"What if your sister comes BACK?"

"Are you seriously asking me that or are you stalling?" No response. "I love you too, Jack. Night night."

After hanging up and turning her phone off Mindy sighed and headed back into the room to face none other than a somber Bruce coming in from another hallway.

"OH god…!" sniffling and shoving her phone in her bra Mindy bolted down the hallway and jumped so both her arms hooked around his neck and they kissed, "Bruce…"

The very glaze over his dark eyes said everything which needed to be said and she just held him like that in the hallway as long as he needed it, occasionally getting his head low enough so they could kiss.

…

Thorn and Scarlett were frightened of Wayne Manor so they were in the bed with Mindy and Bruce along with Oxa sleeping at Thorn's feet. Mindy lied on top of Bruce's chest gently kissing him into the bed; he couldn't sleep at all and was only lying in bed to appease her. He always appeased her he was so blindly in love. His narrow pointed features simply lit her up to the point that she'd gently moved her hips over his pajama pants. She as usual wore a big t-shirt of his and nothing else, since their intentions weren't originally to share the bed with the girls.

"You are so pretty…" poking her tongue between her teeth she cooed while brushing the wisps of dark hair from his eyes, "yes you are…"

"Will you attend the service with me?" Bruce prompted gently hoping for Mindy to nod, and of course she did.

"Yeah anything…"

"I'm most likely the one to eulogize…"

"You want me to stand up there with you in front a' all those people?"

He gave her a single nod.

"Okay then" with a kiss she rested her head under his chin, "Whatever you need me for, alright?"

"Thank you" his head rested atop her chin like a puppy before trailing down her sides and over her backside.

Chuckling lowly she gave him a big wet kiss since they were in the dark before ensuring the twins were asleep so they could carry on with the deed.

…

"Honestly Harleen…" Mindy sighed and dropped her head to Harley's shoulder as they held hands sitting on Harley's couch in her living room watching 'He's Just Not That Into You' (irony on Mindy's part of course; that was the entire point of her bringing that movie in particular). "You want the boy to like you all you gotta do is use the magic words"

"I love you?" Harley curled her lips hopefully, staring doe-eyed at Mindy when the volatile feline shook her head with a snort.

"Those are the magic words to make a boy disappear, my love" Mindy reminded her with a sigh and a click of her tongue.

"Seriously?" Harley wrinkled her nose and shook her head with a sigh, "What's wrong with tellin' him that I love him?"

"Joker?" Mindy's face paled because she was trying so hard not to laugh, "Or boys in general?"

"You know him pretty damn well…" she nodded while dropping her head to Mindy's which was rested on her shoulder, "Why won't he say anything to that?"

"Meh" she shrugged and rolled her eyes, "Besides the fact that he is a DICK…he is also a dude who thinks with his dick" her tongue poked between her teeth and she shrugged, "guys hate that shit."

"Why?" Harley frowned and pouted her lips.

"They…" she shrugged, "hate it. HE in particular hates it."

"Does he say it?"

"I dunno" yes she was lying, "He is not exactly my boyfriend, now is he?"

"Is he?" the doe eyes completely melted Mindy and the younger woman cringed.

"Not my BOYFRIEND so-say…" she wasn't lying. He was actually her husband; but that would be left out of course.

"I saw him kissing you" she nodded in a small voice, staring at her hand which was folded in Mindy's, "Are you sleeping together?"

"…no" there was the lie.

"I wish I could"

"Why?" Mindy wrinkled her nose and shook her head, "He does not even BATHE unless ya call the fumigation squad never mind-"

"He's misunderstood, that's all" Harley nodded when Mindy's face contorted.

"He has schizophrenia, lovely bunches…he does not know anything anymore"

"And why?" Harley's eyes watered and she sniffled, "Because his father beat him up and he watched his mommy die!"

"That is the TIP of the Joker iceberg I can assure you" she nodded with big eyes, "That could be put on his driver's license."

"Does he talk about me when I'm not there?" Harley's face lit up hopefully when Mindy had to ask.

"Are you a virgin?"

Harley's head hung and Mindy's eyes just about popped out of her head.

"Get the fuck outta here…"

Harley choked a nod and curled her lips as Mindy just looked her over in astonishment.

"No wonder he got you so easily…" though she didn't want to she had to ask, "Did he ever touch you?"

Harley shook her head.

"Did he ever make you THINK he was going to touch you?"

Harley nodded, which made Mindy slap a hand to her face and groan.

"Christ in the sky, alright…" taking a deep breath she sighed and ran her fingers through Harley's hair, "He likes to do that. It makes him stronger than you."

"He IS…"

"Keep talking that way and he will continue to treat you like hell" she nodded with wide blue eyes before sniffling, "You give that man an INCH you are finished. You GOTTA stand up and tell him to go fuck himself-"

"Is he anything like your Jack?" the blonde frowned and Mindy curled her lips before shaking her head.

"Jack was…" she shrugged, "my Jack. I dunno how to describe him."

"Was he your only boyfriend? Or were there others?"

"Just Jack" she giggled and Harley had to smirk.

"I'm guessing you lost it young…"

"Meh" wrinkling her nose she shrugged, "Fifteen. Probably woulda done it earlier but I was locked up in Borehamwood from when I was twelve and I got out at fifteen."

"How much longer after?"

"Oh pfft!" she waved her off and sniggered, "We did it the night I came back. He visited me a lot in Borehamwood but all we did was kiss…homecoming we went full-out every dirty little thing you could imagine and it was NOT that magical at all"

"Aww why?" Harley nervously rubbed her arm when Mindy snorted.

"No pain you have ever felt in your life compares to popping your cherry…holy fucking shit I DIED" she was so melodramatic Harley was having a hard time containing herself, "We did it in his room at his house. Mommy was already dead and daddy was at work so we had the house to ourselves…" her eyebrows rose and she inhaled, "bad idea now. We did all the fun third base stuff before deciding we were ready to have sex for the first time"

"Condom I hope…?"

"I was on birth control" Mindy shook her head and placed a hand over her belly, "I had bad period problems my whole life so I got prescribed them to regulate it and make it less painful for me."

"I get cramps too" Harley wrinkled her nose and groaned, "it's no fair. Guys don't get a damn thing wrong with them"

"Nope" Mindy sighed, "Which makes the first time you fuck them completely unbearable. I screamed…like a BITCH!"

Harley doubled over laughing and Mindy immediately shook her head with wide eyes.

"No no, I shit you not…I fucking screamed like someone stabbed a fuckin' rotary beater up my vagina and poor baby like hit the ceiling he was so scared"

"Wasn't expectin' it?"

"Not at ALL" Mindy smiled fondly before shaking her head, "I mean he was a baby what the hell was he supposed to know? It was HIS first time too and we were so fucking scared" she shook her head with a slight chuckle, "Blood got EVERYWHERE and he offered to stop because I was cryin' so much but nooo"

"I wouldn't expect anything less of you"

"Honestly you just gotta get it the fuck over with. Grow a pair of balls for the night because it is going to hurt like nothing you have EVER felt and I shit you not. I sugarcoat nothin'. I mean" she shrugged, "We were able to finish but I was crying so bad anyway I could barely move the next day. And it was not even like he had a huge dick or anything he was a pretty big" she meant his stature, "guy about six-three, but still no matter WHO you fuck it is going to tear you in half"

"But you're so SMALL…!" Harley hugged her playfully and smirked, "Of course anything hurts you"

"You do not believe me until it happens to you. Everybody expects this magical first time and I will tell you as somebody who did it with their fiancée that it SUCKS and it hurts for two weeks after you do it. And if you do not keep fucking him you will get all tight again so everything is a million times as bad"

"Who do ya like it better with?" Harley smirked and decided to elbow her, "Your Jack or B-man?"

"Bruce is more emotional" she admitted right off the bat, but then paused and frowned, "yet Jack just felt…" she shrugged, "right…you know? Like, it was all rainbows and butterflies and shit with him."

"Batman don't do it for ya?" Harley wrinkled her nose and smirked when Mindy immediately shook her head.

"He is a different experience than Jack…" was all she could really say, "I would not put one better than the other."

"What do ya think Mistah J falls under?" Harley asked innocently when Mindy cringed up and shrugged.

"Wham, bam, thank you ma'am" that wasn't entirely true but she didn't feel like getting into psychology, "By the way…" Mindy giggled and tapped Harley's shoulder until she looked at her, "the magic word to make a guy like you is 'blowjob'! Trust me."

…

"Hey Meem…?" Trish tapped Mindy's shoulder as they stood next to each other at the service for Lucius Fox.

"Yeah?"

Both of them wore matching black dresses with cardigans over them as they stood at the service together. Bruce was in Mindy's hand and was going to have to speak eventually, so she kept a good hold on him while kissing his fingers. Despite him remaining stoic his eyes were fixed on that casket and knowing what she did, Mindy knew right away he was damning not getting there in time…though there was no way he could. The Joker was going to attack Bruce anyway he could and yes, she knew how to unfreeze Bruce's trust fund, but he was so distraught he couldn't even think about money. Money was petty when it came down to life and death.

"What happened to the staff all of a sudden?" she frowned and shook her head, "I mean, I come home and bam! Ghost house! We're lucky only three a' them were home and Ambie's so responsible"

"I did not like them anymore" yet again a lie, "I want new ones."

"So you just FIRED them?"

Mindy nodded.

"MEEM!"

"Ssssh…!" Mindy shook her head and hugged Bruce's arm, lifting his hand once more to kiss his fingers. His breathing remained calm but his heart rate was soaring; Mindy could feel it through his skin, so he wrapped an arm about her shoulders before dropping his head to kiss the top of hers.

…

The Joker was playing with a two-and-a-half-inch potato peeler along the tips of his fingers when Peking jumped up on the counter and he yelped, holding a hand over the top of his head and glaring at the Siamese cat hatefully before pointing the potato peeler at him.

"Why don't you try that again so I can make a scarf outta you?"

Peking just stared at him with those big blue eyes before releasing a demented meow (Siamese cats had distinct voices), to which the Joker answered back sarcastically with the same meow.

There was a loud belly laugh.

Startled at first, the Joker looked down to see Chelsea hugging herself and laughing loudly at him, and he half-smiled since no one was around.

"What are YOU lookin' at…" jerking his head down towards Chelsea he tilted his head, "huh? What's so funny?"

"CLOWN!" Chelsea pointed at him happily since he WAS in full makeup, and he nodded along while lifting his eyes to the ceiling.

"I'll take that…whoa!"

Chelsea was climbing up his legs so she sat in his lap and immediately put her hands to his face to feel around.

"Clown" she nodded again at him, obviously placing an Autistic label and expecting some form of reinforcement, but he didn't give it to her so she kept pestering, "CLOWN."

"No 'clown'" his head shook and her lips pouted in a frown, "DADDY. I'm DADDY."

He sat still as Chelsea's fingers went in his mouth and traced along his Glasgow grin before she frowned and started to fuss.

"What?" his eyes followed hers and immediately his eyes got wide in amusement, "Ooo I'M sorry! Is it the scars?"

Chelsea didn't answer but fussed enough.

"Wanna know how I got them?" he prompted her to nod while holding the potato peeler and Chelsea didn't answer. "I can…" he nodded and brought the peeler closer to her face, "I can show you how I got them, Chels…do you wanna know…" he paused and licked his lips, "HOW…Daddy got these SCARS?" leaning back he showed her his face and Chelsea could only gawk at him. "C'mere honey…" nodding he pulled her under an arm and leaned so he spoke very low as not to frighten her, "See…back when Daddy had shit for brains and worked an 'honest' living…" he lifted his eyes to the ceiling before nodding, "MOMMY and I had a little girl, JUST like you and your sisters" her eyes lit up happily and he nodded at that, "her name was CARLY…and" he licked his lips and looked off to the side, "you see, Carly…" he shook his head, "she never smiled. Miserable, MISERABLE kid…and considering, how, POOR Mommy and Daddy were we did what we could to try and make things better for your big sister…" suddenly his teeth barred and he shook his head, "but it didn't exactly WORK now did it?"

Chelsea just gave him a blank slate stare.

"She CRIED," his teeth clenched and he growled, "she SCREAMED, she was a NIGHTMARE for Mommy and I! So ONE day, I take a razor and sit down with her in my lap" he motioned towards him and Chelsea, "like THIS…and I asked, 'Why…so…SERIOUS?'"

Chelsea frowned and hugged his chest at the way he grunted that so he frowned and licked his lips before continuing.

"And you know WHAT?"

"WHAT?" Chelsea parroted with wide eyes and he took a moment before continuing.

"She STILL didn't smile…!"

Chelsea gasped and slapped both hands over her mouth like she would at a movie.

"All I wanted was to see your sister smile for me and Mommy…I wanted her to KNOW, that we loved her even if we couldn't give her anything…" quickly he skimmed his fingers through her hair and frowned, "So I stuck a razor in my mouth…and did THIS" he showed her the scars, "to see if that would make her sm-"

Chelsea stood up in his lap before slapping his white made-up cheeks with her hands and leaning in so they kissed. At first he clenched the potato peeler in his hand, shaking violently to bring the hand up and cut her, but he instead dropped the metal object and just sat there so she could cry at his scars once she realized they weren't makeup and bury her face under his neck. Shocked at first, he let her stay there before rising off the barstool with her in his lap and patted her back.

"Alright, alright, stop it" he shook his head and rubbed her back to try and get her to stop in his brain, but of course she didn't, "Ssssh ssh sh! Chelsea! Hey!"

Her plump lips pouted as their eyes gradually met.

"Look at me" he tried again until she did, "They don't hurt anymore, alright? They really don't. I only LOOK scary."

"Nooo!" Chelsea gave him an exaggerated shake of the head before pulling on his hair and giving him a kiss again.

"No?" the subtle tenderness flickering on his expression wasn't something anyone else had really gotten to see nor would they ever because Chelsea was his baby. "Why no?"

"DAD-dy…" Chelsea gingerly ran her fingers over his lips and squealed as he bit them, "DADDY!"

"Sh!" his lips pouted a moment and he gave her a stern look, waiting for her to blatantly disregard his order and kiss him again. The certain vibrations he picked up from behind though made him smirk, "Though…you wanna know whats REALLY scary?"

Chelsea stared at him a moment before giving him a big nod, so he licked his lips and shifted from foot to foot with her in his arms before whispering.

"Mommy…without…makeup!"

"FUCK you!" the arm hooked around the Joker's neck and the hand smacked his face, causing him to lean forwards and laugh hysterically at the pain from being hit and she pinched his arm, "YOU" Mindy purred into his ear dangerously, "can go fuck somebody else if THAT is what you think!"

"Did you have fun with BatWayne at his boss's funeral?" he ribbed lowly when she shook her head with a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

"You ARE terrible…"

"You planted…?" he meant the card and she nodded with pursed lips, "Good girl."

"I almost cried during the eulogy" she exhaled with a frown, ignoring the scandalized expression on the Joker's face, "Bruce was so fucking sad"

"And that differs from reality how…?" he jumped back so she couldn't hit him, but of course she pinched his arm again and he yelped, "OW! Cunt! Stop that!"

"I thought you were a sadomasochist?" a shapely eyebrow rose and he shot her a scathing glare. "Heyy babyboo" Mindy cooed while leaning down to give Chelsea a big kiss.

"MOMMY!" Chelsea reached out and clung to Mindy like a baby monkey.

"Did you have a nice time with Daddy?" Mindy bounced Chelsea on one of her hips and the toddler nodded before burying her face in Mindy's shoulder. "Thank you…"

Of course he ignored her and sifted her hair calmly with his fingertips, "You're telling me…" he frowned and cocked his head while staring at the crook of her neck, "BatWayne has NO idea who you really are?"

"None."

The Joker actually chortled at that with a shake of his head, "HOW?" he sniggered yet again and shook his head at her, "How does ANYONE not know it's you?"

"Cuz I wear a big ole HOOD, Nancy."

"But…" wrinkling his nose he eyeballed her and lifted a chunk of her hair, "you're a dwarf"

"Four-ten does NOT make me a dwarf"

"Actually," his eyebrows rose, "anything under five meets the qualifications"

"Fuck YOU. Seriously."

"Why so serious?" he frowned playfully, earning a smack to the mouth which made him laugh his ass off.


	38. Chapter 38: The Hardest Lesson

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Bruce pulled off his suit jacket in his bedroom inside of the penthouse and checked his mirror to see Mindy had drawn a big lipstick heart with little happy faces everywhere before she left that afternoon. After the services they'd regressed to his penthouse and made out on his bed because he couldn't bring himself to do anything else, he was too depressed. She didn't attempt to push him either, which he highly respected. Instead she gave him a sweet little mural he didn't feel like washing off. For sure Alfred would try to wash it so he was going to have to warn him that he liked his mirror smothered in ruby lipstick.

Hopefully she'd answer his question he asked her back when they first made love about moving in together. He wanted to something scary despite having to tell her about his Batman loveliness he'd be damning her and her children with. Before the official move-in that would somehow have to be disclosed, he just didn't know when.

His entire bedroom smelled of the coconut soap she washed her body with along with the sugar cookie shampoo and conditioner in her hair. She was the background wallpaper on his cell phone too…the boy was bitten.

Even though they were only apart for a few hours he wanted to call her again, invite her back over maybe with the kids since he had plenty of room to accompany them and a built-in babysitter.

A sealed envelope sat on the bed with no writing on front, so with a frown Bruce opened it immediately to read the eerily familiar handwriting on the back of a Joker card:

'_Batman,_

_Warm Regards_

_-J'_

Inside the envelope was a newspaper clipping of Bruce kissing Mindy Stratus…and she had black eyes colored in and a nice Glasgow grin. If he had eaten anything that day he would have been sick.

"ALFRED!" Bruce bellowed while tearing down the stairs and into the great room, "ALFRED!"

"Master Bruce…?" immediately Alfred was alarmed, approaching quickly to receive him, "What on EARTH is wrong with you?"

"Call Miranda!" he shouted upon heading towards the ivory tiled walls so he could access his Batsuit, "Call Miranda NOW!"

"Right away sir…" Alfred nodded stiffly and lifted the receiver, calling Mindy only to hear her voicemail, "She's not answering, sir!"

"TRY AGAIN!" not even recognizing the sound of his own voice all Bruce was seeing while slapping on the Batsuit was Rachel's passing all over again. He met someone unique, he met someone beautiful, he met the bluntest little bitch with a personality ten feet tall…and now he was going to lose her.

"I'm TRYING sir!" Alfred called back from the other room, "I can't reach her!"

Bruce growled and put on his mask with conviction before stomping near Alfred and taking his phone.

"And what are you going to do with that, sir?"

"Her number's in my system, I can check her position with sonar from anywhere in the city"

"But why?"

"The Joker threatened her!" he growled before heading down to get to the Batpod as quickly as he could. All he needed was to get a flat or pop one of his tires to make life THAT much more swell for him today.

…

Minx hugged the Joker's arm as they moved along a high dock over the river at dusk. Their two Rottweiler's stalked alongside them, and Minx was extremely happy to see them at least.

"Where were you keepin' the babies so Trisha Anne would not see them?" she frowned and nestled against his arm harder, upset that her hood had to be up so her face was completely hidden from him.

"Up my ass" he quipped with a shake of the head, "You WORRY too much, you know that?"

"I LIKE them" she frowned and pet the top of Fugaboo's head, "I can worry."

"You like ME too but I don't hear you constantly ASKING" he waved his hands around flimsily, "about ME."

"Kiss my FUCKING ass in D-minor, ya shit" she sneered with a dramatic roll of her glowing eyes, "I ALWAYS-"

"Now we're getting into the extremes, I get it" nodding he reached over and petted her hooded head a few times, "I get it" licking his lips he nodded, "I do."

"You are hanging around a lot" it was about time she called him out, "Why now? You could frigged all this ten years ago and have just BEEN with me! I was not asking for much"

"FIRST of all, DEAR…" he wrinkled his nose and shook his head, "Given the circumstances I think I've been QUITE a presence in your little life, wouldn't you agree?" he slapped his side and shrugged, "I mean…" licking his lips he groaned, "the five of them didn't culture in a Petri dish."

"And aside from the purposes of YOU getting laid what USE do I have to you?"

"Uh" with a grunt he shrugged, "Kitten."

"Mhm?" of course she wanted more than that.

"Kitten" he replied the same way when her fingers went under his coat and over his chest, hugging him around the front now and wrapping his coat over her skin because the Minx romper wasn't exactly insulated and her entire chest was out as well as the very bottom of her butt and her legs. At first he grimaced and cringed up before running a hand through his hair and glancing down at her, "What are YOU doing?"

Bouncing on her toes a tad she leaned into his chest harder and snuggled up, "Hug."

"Why…?" narrowing his eyes in confusion he shook his head when she frowned.

"Cold."

"So what would…?" not even beginning to argue he draped an arm over her and let that be all. He walked with an arm hooked around her neck like a love-noose sometimes but wrapping his arms around her he didn't do.

"When I tell you I am cold it is a subliminal DEMAND that you hug me to make me warm" she nodded against his chest and he smiled wryly at that.

"I know that" he nodded at her with a lick of his lips and spoke inches away from her lips, "I just don't wanna do it."

"Yes you do" she corrected with a rub of her nose against his, "you love me."

"Sometimes…" he trailed off purposely to make her giggle.

"Harleen is onto us" her teeth chattered and she spoke up, "She was drillin' me and shit but I said nothing."

"Why not?" he shrugged with a wrinkled nose and looked at the water below them, "What's she gonna do? Kill you?"

"Yes" her icy skin turned green though the hood hid that from view, and that made him laugh loudly and shake his head.

"You…!" he shook his head at her and laughed, cocking his head playfully and leaning in her face, "You think she's gonna KILL you?"

"Mhm" she nodded gravely when he blew air past his lips and waved it off.

"No"

"Says who?"

"She's a bimbo"

"Is not"

"Don't say that."

"Know from experience?" raising an eyebrow she waited smugly when he literally smacked a palm to her breast plate and made her gasp.

"You know you REALLY need to stop with that being YOU are the one fucking BATMAN" he growled when she countered with a cold glare.

"I thought you did not CARE what I did as long as I did not marry hi-WAHH!"

He whipped out a gun and shot it off in a random direction to scare her before ripping her over by her scalp, and yanking her neck back; roughly kissing her before finally relaxing once she grabbed his hair right back and gently returned the pressure he was applying to her mouth.

…

A GPS right on the Batpod blinked red on a high-rise dock, where Batman immediately sped towards to the point that he smelled burning rubber.

…

The Joker had pulled her phone from her bra and it was now in his coat pocket as he continued playing tonsil hockey, running a gloved hand down the front of her chest and holding one of the legs she lifted to get near his waist. The dogs patiently sat around them as he took a moment to savor the taste of her tongue before biting the bullet.

"Do you trust me?" the very hesitant manner that was asked in made her swallow hard and touch his face in the most loving caress she could before nodding, though that wasn't what he wanted, "Well do you?"

"Yes" she sniffled and nodded before kissing him again, "You know I-"

"I'm sorry"

"What?" her brow furrowed in horror when he pulled a little rag out of his pocket and held it over her mouth and nose for three seconds until she passed out. It had been soaked in chloroform.

…

Batman actually sped out ONTO the dock to see nothing but the Joker surrounded by two growling Rottweiler's and a small unconscious figure in his arms.

"JOKER!" he growled upon storming out towards him with clenched fists, which caught the Joker's interest and made his eyebrows rise.

"It's about TIME you showed up"

"WHERE'S MIRANDA?" Batman would have bowled him over if there weren't two very big nasty dogs at his side, and the Joker frowned.

"Excuse me?" he tried to lean an ear closer which heavily irritated Batman and he growled louder.

"WHERE'S MIRANDA, JOKER?"

"Pardon?" again he frowned and pouted his lips, which peeved Batman even more and he charged forwards with a Batarang ready to go.

"MIRANDA, JOKER! You wanted me here I am! WHERE is she?"

"You know you REALLY…" running two fingers up and down his own throat the Joker nodded, "REALLY…" he narrowed his eyes with a grimace, "Should get that throat checked out A.S.A.P"

"This is about US, Joker WHERE is Miranda?"

The Joker could only throw his head back and laugh extremely hard at that with a sigh and shake of the head.

"And wouldn't YOU like to know, huh?" he smiled before shaking his head and sighing contentedly, "The Billion Dollar Brat wants his ITTY BITTY plaything-"

Batman literally backhanded a dog away before grabbing the Joker's throat and scowling.

"WHERE is she?"

The Joker gagged not from being choked, but laughing while being choked and he cocked his head.

"Jeez, you must be really dead-set on this chick, huh? I mean I just called you out as your alter-ego and all YOU'RE yammering about is your girlfriend"

"WHERE is she?" he demanded with a heavy rasp, "YOU KEEP THIS ABOUT US! WHERE IS SHE?"

The Joker gave his dogs a look before jerking his head and forward they sprang, latching onto Batman and giving him no choice but to back off as Batman thrashed both the dogs aside.

"You see…" with curled lips the Joker breathed through his teeth and shook his head, "You might not wanna REALLY know the answer to that"

"What have you done…?" the slight panic in Batman's faltered voice gave the Joker that much of a jump ahead and he motioned to the dogs once more.

"Go! Go get him!" quickly he waved them on and the already injured dogs charged once more, Batman effortlessly beating them away with his bare fists before bee-lining towards the Joker.

"UH-uh-uh-uh-uh!" immediately the Joker held a finger up and shook his head, backing with Minx to the edge and looking Batman in the eye as the Dark Knight encroached on him, "Listen, Wayne…"

"How do you know who I am?" now was the appropriate time to ask and the Joker laughed and bounced a bit on his toes while holding Minx around the chest.

"You're looking at her!" he nodded while motioning to Minx and extending her so she hung over the edge, "Even YOU folded under the siren!"

Batman said nothing, partially because he didn't get it. Yes he knew Minx a bit personally, but not nearly personally enough to be able to draw such connections so he didn't believe it.

"What did you do to her?" that actually was asked about Minx, though the Joker disregarded him even asking about it and dangled the young woman over the edge of the dock.

"ME?" frowning he took a moment before shaking his head, "I didn't DO anything!" he shook his head to vindicate himself before pointing a finger his way, "But YOU will!"

"Where is she, Joker?" yet again he demanded in a low husk, "You want to make this personal you've gotten my attention"

"Did you like my work?" he was referring to Lucius since he knew that would grind his gears, "You see," licking his lips as the wind lifted his hair a tad, the Joker frowned, "I…knew…what a sap you were for your…" he grinned while waving a hand to get the words right, "personal…TAILOR…"

"Don't do anything you'll regret" Batman warned sharply though of course the Joker wasn't listening, "Give her to me" he did mean Minx since she was dangling over the edge, "Whatever it is you believe she's done, give her to me"

"Again" his lips curled and he cocked his head with a grimace, "You MAY or may not want that depending on which end of the bed you woke up on this morning"

"ENOUGH!" that roar could have crumbled the entire dock if it were sound sensitive, "WHERE IS SHE?"

"What?"

"WHERE IS SHE?"

"I'm sorry…" he stuck a finger in one of his ears to 'clean it out' before screwing his face up at Batman, "WHAT did you say?"

"QUIT IT with the mind games and TELL ME where she is!"

"You want her?" the Joker dropped Minx off the dock and down she went, "Let the cat die and I'll tell you where to find her."

Minx fell down at least thirty feet to smack the water and slip under. Now, Bruce Wayne would have let Minx drown and waited to find Miranda, but unfortunately for him Batman couldn't let that happen. Killing one to potentially save the other just didn't settle, and he was no murderer.

"WHAT'S it gonna be?" the Joker smiled with a cock of his head when Batman charged and dove off the dock right down after her. Knowing he knocked Minx unconscious the Joker doubled over laughing, calling after him, "Oh yeah! And one more thing! She'll be dead before you can get to her!"

Batman hit the water HARD and the impact even with his armored suit was excruciating. Minx only wore that skimpy little romper there was no way she was without severe internal bruising and/or broken bones since she was unconscious. Holding his breath wasn't too bad at first, but the water was so black there was no seeing her without a flashlight. Reaching into his utility belt he pulled out a gas mask-like object allowing him to breathe underwater while lifting the simple, but powerful infrared lens flashlight to detect Minx's thermal heat. Cats had a body temperature between 100.5 and 102.5, so her thermal heat was playing to her advantage at the moment. Shining the flashlight around him as he swam, it got warm and detected Minx right by him so with one arm he reached and grabbed her, taking off his rebreather and sticking it over her mouth to at least attempt to pump oxygen into her system.

Breaking surface he got her head out of the water right away and the Joker laughed from his spot all the way above them, pacing alongside them with the dogs as Batman coughed and dragged the tiny young woman through the water towards the shore, but there was nowhere to go. Fighting the rough current he held her above the water with one arm and shot up a grappling line to hook onto the railings above and pull them both up.

They both flipped over the railing and Batman dropped Minx right on her back, crawling on top of her and panting himself before realizing that she wasn't breathing.

"Well…" hovering over Batman's shoulder the Joker exhaled, "Did you do it?"

Minx wasn't breathing.

"No?" he frowned and shook his head at Batman with a sigh, "I'm disappointed in you."

Not even listening Batman listened for any kind of breathing before lifting her hood off to blow air into her mouth and begin CPR, but stopped dead at the face. The Joker was already laughing his ass off as Batman's black-ringed eyes got wider and he shook his head in fear.

"Well, well, well…!" the Joker panted for breath he was so happy while pacing around Batman, "Would ya look at THAT! Looks like MINXY was actually your SWEET little-"

"MIRANDA…?" shaking his head in denial Batman blew air into her mouth and listened for breathing before ripping her plunge zipper almost to her crotch so he could get at her chest before beginning compressions. No breathing still.

"Look at you GO…!" the Joker shook his head and laughed as Batman breathed into Minx's mouth twice more while holding her nose.

He placed the heel of one of his hands on her sternum and interlocked his fingers on the opposite hand on top, giving thirty quick chest compressions before pinching her nose and blowing twice more. No breathing still.

"Give it up, BatWayne she's already dead" he waved him off before Batman physically ripped his cowl off so he could perform rescue breaths easier.

It wasn't worth hiding anymore the Joker clearly knew who he was anyway, and Minx's entire body was blue. Her lips were blue, her skin was blue, her ears were blue, her hands were practically shriveled, and her body had gone into stage two of hypothermia. After three rounds of both breathing and compressions there still was nothing, which actually frightened Batman to the point of trembling before deciding to pinch her nose and give it another go.

"Give up…!" the Joker challenged yet again but anything the Joker said to do Batman always did the opposite. It was his way.

After another breath Minx spat up a fountain of icy river water and gagged, Batman immediately turning her over on her side so she finished gagging before completely stripping her of her frozen clothing so he could bring her to the hospital.

Unable to even speak as Batman piled the sopping yet icicled hair on top of her head so her back wouldn't keep being frozen, the Joker watched in tomb silence as she was lifted without a word and carried like she was weightless towards the Batpod, where Batman pulled a thermometer out of his utility belt and stuck it in her mouth, immediately seeing it was ninety-three degrees farenheight. Pulling what literally looked like giant teabags out and smacking them against the side of the bike, he folded them underneath her armpits before jumping on the Batpod and glaring at the Joker before speeding off.

The clown just stared at Minx's discarded costume as the dogs went over and sniffed it.

* * *

"_Farewell, remorse: all good to me is lost;__  
__Evil, be thou my good."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	39. Chapter 39: Silent Guardian

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

Upon arrival at the new location for Gotham General Hospital Mindy was wrapped to the nines in blankets and rushed off on a stretcher with four nurses checking her vitals. Carted off to the nearest cardiopulmonary bypass machine, Mindy was hooked up and no longer breathing on her own. Batman stood by solemnly, keeping his head bowed without a single word to anyone as humidifiers were placed all around them. Doctors rushed in and out pestering him with questions as to why the rockstar was in such a horrid condition, and it would be plastered all over the press that Bruce Wayne never showed up at the hospital when his beloved flame was dying of hypothermia…but in reality he was there…with her…watching her pulse on the machine until he got lost in a trance state.

The shock of it all was eating him alive, but at the same time he should have known better. Mindy and Minx were the exact same size, bore the same skin tone, hair, and eye color…how could he have been so blind? Regardless there he was. Apparently she knew who he was too so there really was no point to being secretive once she woke back up…if she woke back up. He didn't want to think that way yet he found himself doing so because he was so distraught over losing her. At this point he didn't give a good damn who she was or what she stood for…that was Miranda lying in that bed not Minx.

He didn't know how long he stood there watching warm fluid pump into her body cavities to rewarm her system, but it made his stomach turn because he was unable to do a thing. He'd done the right thing, he'd saved her, and the sadistic bastard obviously knew who he was talking about. The Joker knew Mindy was Minx; he just wanted it to be known to Batman as well. There were several things he could do when she woke up such as break up with her, threaten her, warn her, lecture her; or he could frig that and stay with her, hold her hand, let her know everything was going to be alright and that she could change. Both directions seemed quite appealing at the moment, but if he dropped her ass he knew the Joker would win. That was what he clearly wanted to happen.

Joker's awareness of her relationship with his sworn enemy was doing things to him…ugly things…uglier than anyone could ever imagine. The Joker had no friends according to Maroni back when Batman dropped him four stories and broke his legs…

"MEEM!" that shriek immediately woke him out of the stupor because Trish bolted into the room to throw herself over the bed sobbing, "MEEM!" her hand went over her tear-drenched face and she shook her head in denial at the little girl lying on that bed not even breathing on her own, "Oh my god…!" her head shook in denial, "OH my GOD NO! NO!"

Immediately her attention switched to Batman and her soft caramel eyes were wet with tears.

"No" was all she said, which Batman didn't react to and made her crazier, "that's not my sister."

Batman bowed his head and only then could Trish see his cape was completely soaked and black eye shadow had run down almost to his mouth and he'd tried rubbing it away.

"I pulled her from the water…" was his gruff reply, sending shivers down Trish's spine and she started sobbing yet again.

"NO!"

"The Joker planned to drown her, but her absence was reported in time to triangulate her location."

"Where is he?" Trish's face contorted and she scowled, so Batman tried to cover his own tracks knowing fully well of Mindy's stringent twin sister.

"He's been informed" was all Batman could really say with great reluctance. What else could he say to her? He's right here? Oh yeah, he could just picture how well that would have gone over.

"AND…?" obviously he didn't satisfy the fiery brunette, who impatiently gripped the guardrails and grit her teeth at the man in the battle armor and cape standing idle in the corner of the room. Unfortunately answering was not optional.

"He said he'd get here when he can"

"You mean he's not COMING?" like her sister, Trish's Canadian accent was so piercing he could have cringed.

He didn't reply because Batman wasn't the gossip column. Batman wasn't Bruce Wayne he couldn't keep vouching for his own behavior before it would start to become fishy. Bottom line, HE knew that Bruce Wayne was there and when Mindy woke up she would know it too since she was the one who lovingly set him up.

Wrinkling her nose Trish stared at her twin sister while shaking her head before sighing, "GEE Meemster! You REALLY know how to pick 'em!" she made an okay between her thumb and index finger. "RIGHT on the money between the drug-addict pauper and preoccupied prince!"

Batman just watched, obviously knowing at this point that Trish wasn't aware that her twin was indeed a half-beast freak of nature. Judging by Trish's appearance though it had to be obvious that Mindy's condition wasn't something she was born with. Identical twins are the same egg cell split in half, making them exactly alike with the exception of feline DNA and the ability to physically soar at will. Something was wrong, as always. Why he even expected anything different when he approached her at the Valentino boutique was beyond him. Couldn't say his life was boring at least.

Without another word Trish just plopped into a chair next to the bed and held her sister's clammy hand, her plump lips quivering and bursting into tears at how her sister couldn't even breathe her body was so cold, and Batman knew the machines would have to actually pump excess liquid into her because her natural body temperature was at least 100.5 degrees.

…

"So let me get this straight" Amber pouted her lips from her spot seated on one of the spacious balconies the next morning and looked to her father, who paced around with a hand clamped in his greasy light green hair and seemingly murmuring something under his lips to himself, "you knocked Mommy into a river of below freezing water and now she may possibly be dying from hypothermia?"

The Joker curled his lips and gave her a nervous nod, making her roll her eyes and shake her head knowingly.

"Real smooth, Dad" she nodded with widened blue eyes, "You're a REAL class act, you know that?"

He snickered and nodded before approaching and yanking her under an arm with an exaggerated sigh, "But in all seriousness what the hell do I do when she wakes up?"

"Do you care?" she raised a light eyebrow and waited for the response he was obviously kicking himself not to put forth, "It's a yes or no question, Daddy"

Releasing Amber from being under his arm he leaned over the railing which had a more than decent view of Gotham, training his dark eyes forward and licking his lips to delay any kind of reaction. His tongue was swishing around in his mouth as usual and he gulped.

"It's an easy question, Daddy" she said a bit sterner now, "Do you love Mommy or not?" tucking a long piece of blonde behind her ear she shrugged and dropped her eyes, "I know how much you used to…"

"What do YOU know?" he spat and scowled at her though again she didn't flinch, "You weren't even BORN never mind-"

"Drop your ego, STOP blaming everything on Mommy, and" she slapped the stone balcony angrily and glared at him, "for CHRIST'S SAKE, Daddy, DROP your logic! Mommy is a GIRL! Girls FEEL! Even if you don't mean it just PRETEND you do-"

"I can't do that" his head shook immediately, though she wasn't letting up.

"Because you CAN'T or you WON'T?"

He paused and looked off the opposite direction she was standing in before shifting his entire body back towards hers to reply, "Both"

"Liar."

"What do you want me to SAY, honey?" he groaned in exasperation and shook his head close to her face, "There's nothing to be SAID"

"I think you're scared" Amber nodded curtly at him, not even caring what he had to say about it, "You're scared of us, you're scared of Mommy, and-"

"Honey, I'm not" he waved his hands and raised his eyebrows in a cutesy voice, "AFRAID…" back to normal tone, "of anything. If…" he pouted his lips and shrugged, "someone were to take that gun" he pointed to the handgun he had resting on one of the balcony chairs since he didn't want it near the kid, "and just blow my FUCKING brains out" he sighed in exhilaration and turned forwards to let the wind hit his face, "I wouldn't do as much as flinch."

"Why?" frowning she shook her head, "THAT'S dumb."

"That's the narrow-minded way to put it" he nodded in defeat before looking to her and frowning, "Why…" he waved his own question with circular hand motions, "do you believe that? EXPLAIN your reasoning…"

"Well" her eyes got even bigger and she shrugged, "we're put here for a reason"

"So-says those who believe in…DESTINY…and RELIGION!"

"I don't believe in God" she scoffed, "nobody does anymore it's a joke."

"Ah!" his eyes widened in pleasant surprise, "So you ARE my child after all…"

"You ALWAYS say that" she groaned with an eye roll before shaking her head, "I'm yours. Get over it."

He nodded at her with pouted lips and a grin, "I LIKE this side of you, honey!"

"Then be my Daddy for real."

"I AM your daddy 'for real'" he frowned, "duh. I made you."

"Then why won't you be our daddy when we all love you so much?"

He didn't answer that either, so she moved a hand over one of his gloved ones and folded it in hers.

"Who was Carly, Daddy?" despite how gently she asked he didn't answer, "Chelsea talked about somebody named Carly…" her brow furrowed, "Who was she?"

"Look…" his lips curled and he began playing with her long fingers, "I didn't come here for cognitive therapy" he cleared his throat and shook his head, "no…I came here because you're the only FUCKING person who knows your god damn mother enough to-"

"-Because you love her-"

"Stop that" he barked childishly before frowning and continuing with a shake of the head, "Kids…"

"You were the Joker already when Tryggy was born…" she continued morosely, "you were the Joker when Chelsea was born…" her eyes narrowed and her head shook, "You always loved Mommy"

"Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-"

"And you still love her NOW, Daddy! You WORSHIP her! I WATCHED your wedding movie ten years ago! You love Mommy!"

Having more than he could take he slammed his palms down on the stone the EXACT way she had moments earlier and scowled, "And WHAT would you like me to do about that? Send FLOWERS to her hospital room? Buy her CANDY?"

"NO! JUST" she whimpered and started crying haplessly, "just TELL HER, Daddy!"

"SHE knows…" he grumbled with a shake of the head, "trust me. You're not-"

"Daddy…" Amber swallowed and looked up at him gravely, "she is GOING to marry Bruce Wayne if you don't"

"She can't" he shook his head, "We're married."

"You're DEAD, Daddy! I know where Mommy keeps the fake certificate!"

"She can't" again he gave the same shake of the head, "we're married."

"Live in denial…" she rolled her eyes before hugging him and shaking her head, "What are we gonna do with you?"

"I don't feel like causing a scene right now" he wrinkled his nose before shaking his head and licking his lips, "But I'll drop you all off to go see her if you can navigate through the emergency room-"

Her head buried in his chest and she sobbed loudly, gripping the green vest and rubbing her face against his tie, "I love you, Daddy!" she wailed with a hard cough and practically ripped the fabric she held him so tight, "I love you so much please, Daddy don't go away PLEASE!"

Breathing slowly though slightly aghast at his oldest clinging to him like that, he just pet her hair and lifted her into a carry to take her back into the house, lifting the gun along the way and tripping immediately upon entering because Tryg left an army tank sitting in the doorway, "Little BASTARD…!"

…

Luckily the next day the heart-lung machine had been removed because Mindy's body temperature had climbed back up to 98.6 degrees farenheight, but Batman knew that was wrong. The only problem with revealing that she needed two whole degrees warmer was that once they discovered her genetic makeup it would be known for sure what she was. Well, technically WHO she was since not even Batman knew WHAT exactly she was.

"Are you going home at some point?" Trish asked him from Mindy's bedside still, waiting for her sister to wake up from the anesthetics, "Back to your…" she shrugged, "cave…to go hang upside down?"

Batman said nothing but stood there. He'd been standing there for almost two days. He did look tired, he did look worn and hungry as well as incredibly uncomfortable in that suit, yet there he stood staring at the bed. Trish, who had heavy bags under her eyes and pale skin from not sleeping as much as she should have, tried to strike up conversation a few times but Batman just wasn't having any of it.

Smiling a bit wryly Trish thought it over and sighed, "Look…" her eyes dropped before raising to meet his, "I understand makin' sure she lived through the night or whatever but THIS?" she motioned to him just standing there all this time when it was more than obvious that Mindy was fine, "I think this is a little above the line of duty, don't ya think?"

No response, but that only made Trish's smile get a bit wider.

"You know my sister?"

A single nod.

"Is she a friend?"

Another nod.

"How do ya know her?"

No response.

Trish sighed and could only shake her head knowingly at her unconscious twin, "Ya got Batman TOO, Meem?" blowing air past her lips she shook her head, "And yet I'm not surprised…" she chuckled lowly at Batman and sighed, "Her nickname in Hollywood is Maneater Stratus…" her voice got high as if talking to a baby before cooing at Mindy, "because she gets ALL the boys and breaks their hearts and eats them up…" she cringed and smiled sheepishly, "not LITERALLY of course, I mean" she cleared her throat and shrugged, "that's cannibalism I KNOW that's illegal in several countries and-"

"I was looking to see if you'd quiet on your own…"

"Sorry…!" sucking air through her teeth she forced a smile, "I get nervous."

"I noticed."

"She's actually only had two relationships her whole life…" she curled her lips and shrugged, "unless you're number three and I don't know it yet."

Batman made no response or reaction, but Trish had an awful epiphany and her eyes bugged out.

"Meds!" she shouted and lifted her eyes to Batman worriedly, "She needs her meds!"

Batman frowned.

"My sister is a paranoid schizophrenic…!" she nodded and tucked some lengthy chocolate hair behind her ear, "She's a mess she NEEDS medication or mark my words she will tear this entire room apart once she wakes up…" quickly she glanced for the button to press to call a nurse, "don't let her fool you either…" she shook her head and accepted the little calling stick Batman gave her at Mindy's opposite side, "Thank you" flashing a momentary smile she returned to the look of pure dread, "She looks harmless but she will kick your ASS even in that armored suit…!" she sniffled and tried to remember a story, "You know how in certain situations people have that adrenaline rush that makes them superhuman?"

He nodded.

"My sister has that ALL THE TIME when she's off her rocker! She could hold the UFC title! All ninety pounds of her and half of that weight is breast implants! If she gets unhinged I can NOT control her! I gotta wake up at three in the damn morning more often than not to make her a strawberry milkshake jacked with Seroquel, Clozapine, and Zyprexa along with iron pills for her anemia"

He didn't want to interrupt but he knew all this already.

"Plus let's not forget the ZOLOFT and PROZAC to keep her off suicide watch!" shaking her head she snorted, "She's a pharmacist's DREAM she's such a mess" the nurse came in and Trish nodded before standing and plastering a big old fake smile across her beautiful face, "Hiya! My sister is a violent paranoid schizophrenic and has to have her medicine the MOMENT she wakes up or she WILL have no problem tearing this place apa-"

"Mrs. Fisico…" the nurse kindly placed a hand on Trish's arm and startled her before continuing, "Miranda is recovering from hypothermia…she won't be able to do much of anything for a LONG time even with physical therapy"

Upon overhearing that, Batman crept towards the bed and gave Mindy's hand a kiss before taking his leave…Bruce Wayne had to pick her up and take her home.

…

Two blue cat eyes opened and pulled together the blurred image of the strange hospital room. Only the sound of her shallow breathing resounded through Mindy's head followed by the machine keeping track of her pulse, which was rapidly speeding up by the second as a nurse walked by the room with a cart. Mindy tried to sit up despite the pain to see the what exactly the woman was carrying when immediately her head whipped around and she was eyeless, barring her teeth and hissing at Mindy until the half-beast gasped and wanted to hide under the covers. Shivering, trembling, and swallowing hard Mindy tried to pull the covers up when she heard it.

"Miranda…"

Mindy gasped and snapped her eyes to the right, but no one was there.

"Miranda Marie...!"

The distorted female whisper called her name yet again and she grit her teeth, breathing hard through them despite how much it hurt her chest and panicking.

"Mirrrannndaaaa…!"

"Jack…!" Mindy whined like a toddler with tight lips and squeezed her eyes shut at the familiar female voice, blinking them a few times only to be further clouded with tears. Jack always chased the boogeylady away. "Jack!"

"Come and play, Miranda!"

"No!" her high-pitched voice responded and her head shook frantically, "No play…!" tears were streaming, "no play for me, no no no no no not me not me no no no-"

"You little cunt" the voice came back and hastened significantly, "Should have let you drown…drown with the other dogs in the marshes"

Forcing her weak arms around herself in terror Mindy clutched her temples and doubled over, shaking her head and jittering, "No…! No…! No…! No…! No no no Jack help me no Jack Jack JACK!"

"He let you die, little cunt" the voice growled, but Mindy's eyes were squeezed shut as more voices came into the fray and harmonized in her ears.

"Miranda…!"

"Slut, you're nothing but a fucking two-cent whore"

"Why don't you just take that wire over there and kill yourself? Bite it and die"

"Kill yourself, useless"

"You're nothing"

"The demon must be expelled within"

"Kill yourself"

"Bite your tongue"

"Nobody likes you"

"You're a SLUT"

"Ugly. Ugly ugly stupid little slut"

"He loves you"

"He loves you NOT"

"God shall punish thee, unclean spirit"

"Die"

"Die"

"DIE"

"DIE!"

"JACK! JACK!" Mindy's eyes lifted to see the blonde middle-aged woman in a pink bathrobe over a long white nightgown with her eyes completely torn out of their sockets and fucking screamed unlike anything anyone had ever heard in their life.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" she wailed as Alice Stratigias launched onto the bed holding a pair of scissors and swung an arm down with the points of the scissors directly aiming for Mindy's eye sockets.

Mindy screamed and thrashed her body about, tearing the IV straight from her arm and ignoring how the blood spurted out of the opened vein all over the hospital bed sheets. She was too busy struggling to get her mother off.

"MINDY! MINDY!" male nurses sprinted into the room to seize her bodily movements but she growled and literally beat them off.

Trish stood in the doorway with a hand over her mouth as her sister literally curled into a ball paralytic with her hands contorted into the most painful positions she'd ever seen, sobbing loudly into the pillow and convulsing violently until a needle slammed into her tricep and out she went like a light.


	40. Chapter 40: Love is Unclear

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"Mindy STRATUS, who was pulled from the depths of Gotham Bay three days ago by Batman after being found as the latest Joker victim; has been cleared to go home and begin rehab under the orders of Dr. Don Avella at Gotham General and her psychiatric primary Dr. Frank Halla" the news anchor announced before cutting to footage of doctors Avella and Halla standing beside the other surrounded by reporters outside the hospital with microphones in their faces.

"Physically she IS coming along" Avella, the older man, nodded to the reporters, "but the hypothermia has caused such damage to her system we're hoping that extensive and constant physical therapy will bring her back to the way she was before"

"Psychologically" Halla spoke up, "Mindy can't take this hospital environment. Her schizophrenia has had many opportunities to run wild with her and she needs to be safe in an atmosphere filled only with the people she trusts most."

The anchor returned, "Halla is required by law to travel WITH the rockstar to be on-call twenty-four hours a day incase situations such as these arise"

"Trish!" reporters shouted to Trish on the next footage as she entered the hospital building to see her sister for the first time and bombarded her, "Trish! What do you know about Mindy being the latest Joker victim? Can you tell us?"

"Go AWAY!" Trish growled and nearly punched one of the paparazzi out when a security guard helped her weave her way in.

"The reasons behind Mindy of all people are unknown, though some may speculate that the Joker has been going for the jugular of Gotham's own Bruce Wayne, who recently has had his entire trust fund frozen solid along with his CEO Lucius Fox" footage of Fox was shown, "being brutally murdered in classic Joker fashion. When asked to comment Wayne could only remain mum."

"Angry?" Bruce asked the reporters with a stoic bitterness, "I'm furious. Why Miranda had to be dragged into this madness is beyond me" he waited for the reporters to ask another question.

"What will you do, Bruce? What's next?"

"Well" he began stiffly, "I'm going to take her home with me and supply her with nothing short of the best physical therapists so she's fully mobile once again."

"And what about her CHILDREN?"

"They come too" Bruce gave a single nod before taking his leave into the hospital, "Thank you, gentlemen."

"Stratus's tour was cut short upon meeting the billionaire…" the anchor continued as little montages of Bruce and Mindy together played.

"OH my god…!" Harley's hand went over her mouth as she watched on her couch and she looked to her right to see Scarlett brushing through Chelsea's hair with her fingers and Thorn sitting to her left with Oxa. Fievel, Peking, and Mallow Mars were lying down on sparkling leashes which were held by Amber and Tryg while their bags were in the taxi which was waiting outside of Harley's building for them unknown to her. Craning her neck she shook her head and dropped her jaw, "You're really SICK, ya know that puddin'?"

The Joker cringed behind her and shook it off quicker than he thought he would, "You take them to their mother"

"WHAT?" spinning around in shock she shook her head in a panic, "Are YOU kiddin' me?"

"No" shaking his head he licked his lips, "I'm not."

"I can't be SEEN in a PUBLIC HOSPITAL! I'm a FUGITIVE!"

"Better you than me" the Joker nodded and Harley was confused as all hell as to why the Joker would even bother with Mindy's kids.

"Why are YOU babysitting?"

"Well" he curled his lips a second and shrugged, "being that I knocked their mother into stage-two hypothermia you ARE to put on a wig and take them to the NEW Gotham General to hand off to their mother and BatWayne"

"Is she conscious?" Harley asked hopefully though the Joker didn't respond. He left the apartment when Tryg gasped and scampered after him to latch onto his leg in the hallway.

"Daddy NO!" he growled with a stamp of his foot, "Daddy you CAN'T! You CAN'T go Daddy NO!"

The Joker tried to move but Tryg literally latched himself to his father's leg like a parasite and mumbled.

"NO…Daddy NO! No!"

"You just don't give up…" glancing down at his only son he shook his head with a groan, "do you?"

"DAD-DY!" Tryg whined with a shake of the head and dug his fingers into his father's pants. Curling his lips and nodding along for a moment, the Joker cocked his head before bending and lifting his four-year-old right up in the air.

"You give me no choice…" he sighed with a shake of the head, "looks like I'll be bringing you to Mommy by force"

"Where are you GOING?" Tryg pouted while looking his father in the eye crossly, the light green dyed hair standing out to his father among other things such as the shape of his mouth and nose…

"Wow…!" was all he could really say at Tryg's facial features while looking him over, "Are you human or from a cloning machine?"

If a picture of his old self was held up against Tryg there would virtually be no difference other than age. It amused him, how similar he and his son were. Sure all the kids looked like him but Tryg really took it because he was a boy.

"I dunno" Tryg shrugged and forced his father to crack a ghost of a smile.

"You don't know?" the question was rhetorical and almost purred but Tryg didn't catch that.

"I dunno…"

"You…" he stared at Tryg agape; "REALLY…" he nodded erratically and widened his dark brown eyes, "look like me."

Tryg hugged his neck and allowed his head to drop on his father's shoulder, which made him pause and finally take his prepaid anonymous cell phone out which only Mindy really knew the number to. It rang right through obviously and straight to that annoying-ass voicemail greeting so he left a message.

"Kitten…" he grimaced because the moment she heard that voice he would be slandered in four different languages, "don't panic…" licking his lips he adjusted his hold on Tryg and looked him in the eye, "I've got the boy…the girls are coming to YOU, and think up an alibi until I get him to you."

"We—we love you Mommy!" Tryg called out of turn into the phone and the Joker froze up like a cat in an ice bath before quickly hanging up to stare daggers at his son.

…

"Daddy you CAN'T go!" Thorn begged while hugging the Joker's leg since it was time to leave and none of them wanted to leave their father behind to wander god knew where and not take them with him.

"NO!" Chelsea screamed and threw herself to the ground, "NO! NO! NO! NO!"

To save his ears he dropped Tryg before picking her up and lightly bouncing her in his grasp, "Chelsea, Chelsea, Chelsea…"

She screamed extra loud before burying her face in his neck and gripping both the collar of his shirt and his hair.

"Sssshhh shush shush sshush shush shush…" he whispered to her before struggling to keep his balance from four others dragging him down by his legs.

"You CAN'T go away Daddy, we love you!" Scarlett whined with a stamp of her foot and a shake of her head, "We love you; we love you, we LOVE YOU DADDY!"

"Daddy this isn't FAIR!" Amber finally tried to be the voice of reason out of all of them, "Why does Tryggy get to stay? That's not FAIR! We love you TOO Daddy we love you we do!"

"I would…" he decided to be a bastard since she hated him anyway, "but MOMMY you see…" he frowned and shook his head, "wants no PART of Daddy when she can have that pretty-boy Wayne"

"So KIDNAP HER!" Thorn snapped with a desperate cling to his pant leg, and he was amused to say the least, "Mommy doesn't love you you gotta KIDNAP her and we will tell her to!"

Considering what just came from the tiny blonde five-year-old's mouth he had no choice but to laugh. Like Mindy when she was a child, all five of them had eyes so big they were disproportionate to their faces and they looked like they belonged in an ant farm. His really weren't large by any means, but Mindy? Completely bug-eyed; and they were round too which really made her an insect.

"Daddy you HAVE to get involved for once!" Amber's eyes narrowed and she barred her teeth, "This is getting more and more annoying every second! YOU are being a friggin' pussy! I don't care you're a mass-murdering psychopath! There was a guy named Richard Kuklinski who was a vicious hit -man for the mob who killed over two-hundred-fifty men! And he loved his family more than ANYTHING in the world! JUST! LIKE! YOU!"

"AMBER ROSE!" he roared until she shut up and threw her lanky body into his waist sobbing loudly.

"I'm sorry, Daddy!"

Not saying a word further he pet her hair before looking to all of his daughters' tear-stained faces with soft eyes, breathing deep through his nose for a second before leading them out of the building. Tryg silently followed behind and watched them meet Harley at the door dressed in a long cream-colored coat with a sandy brown wig covering her curled blonde locks. She opened her mouth as the girls reluctantly got into the cab to say something to the Joker, but with a jerk of his head Tryg scampered to his side and they disappeared into the darkness.

"It's better to have nothing to be threatened with if you take Daddy's career," looking down at Tryg he licked his lips and nodded, "You got that, boy?"

Tryg shuffled his feet on the pavement before squinting up and giving the Joker a nod, "Yep!"

Halting the Joker placed his hands on Tryg's shoulders and gave him a very serious look, "That means…" looking off to the side he licked his lips before making eye contact with Tryg once more, "no girls until AFTER you retire."

"Are you retiring, Daddy?"

"Only if I stop having fun…" the back of his hand swept down Tryg's face a few times before taking his hand and walking.

"Do you get money?"

"It's not ABOUT money" he shook his head as they walked alongside the other, "you take money all you're doing is feeding into the system and defying chaos."

"Is chaos bad?" his raspy voice asked his father, and the Joker immediately shook his head without a thought.

"Chaos is the higher power which defines me as it will define YOU as my son"

"Do I get scary war paint?" he jumped around hopefully so his father had no choice but to smile and nod.

"Anything you want…"

"I want like YOU!" Tryg nodded happily before frowning at the red lipstick running up the corners of the Joker's mouth and along his cheeks, "How do you get the red like that?"

"Mommy never told you…?" actually quite astonished he watched Tryg shake his head before blowing air past his lips and running fingers through his hair, "I'll tell you when you're twenty-one."

"Nawwwww DAD!" Tryg yanked his arm and barred his teeth, "YOU'RE no fun!"

The Joker shoved him down like he was weightless and upon crash-landing on the pavement Tryg laughed, lunging for his father's ankle when the Joker lifted him by the scruff of his neck and held him in a carry, planting a fast kiss on his cheek before moving onward.

Love is unclear. It's not really an emotion. Psychopaths are thought to not be able to love; they only use their 'lover' for their own personal gain. But in reality, love is just using someone for one's own personal gain, since one gains enjoyment from that person. Yes…a Psychopath can love.

…

"Mommy! Mommy!" the girls all shouted as they burst through the doorway to the private room where a barely conscious Mindy lay with Trish holding her hand and Bruce on her opposite side waiting to bring her home. Harley's entrance though in her little sandy wig made Trish slightly off-guard.

"And you are…?" Trish raised a skeptic medium-toned eyebrow at Harley when the tanned blonde smiled weakly and replied.

"Quinn Harlay" extending a gentle hand she shook Trish's and smiled, "the NEW babysitter!"

"She hired a new sitter?" Trish raised an eyebrow before waving it off when Harley pulled Mindy's iPhone out of her pocket since the Joker had taken it from Mindy's bra before dropping her in the bay and held it up to her ear. Barely coherent, Mindy just listened to the message and frowned when she realized Tryg wasn't there. The medications had her all loopy but still she paid attention to the message from her husband and frowned. She wanted him there, she wanted him there more than anything in the world and what did he do? He tried to kill her.

"Miss Mindy thought it'd be best if I watched the babies while-"

"Where's Tryg?" Trish panicked as did Bruce for a moment when Harley jumped in for Mindy since she knew the rockstar wasn't in the mindset to really defend much of anything.

"He's a little hard to handle for new sitters" Harley gave Mindy a wink and she nodded for Harley to continue, "So he's stayin' at a friend's for a bit until I get adjusted."

"But she's living with me" Bruce nodded at her a bit snobbishly but he didn't care, "So until we return to the downtown area you're dismissed" he gave her a dismissive wave and nod in typical Bruce Wayne fashion, Trish only able to roll her eyes at his brazen behavior.

"Hey!" Harley placed her hands on her hips and shook her head, "Do I work for YOU?" she motioned to Mindy and scowled, "No. I don't."

"Thank you for your services, but" he curled his lips obnoxiously and shook his head, "You're no longer needed."

"Says WHO?" Harley shouted when Mindy gave her a look and she nodded, "Whatever you say Miss Mindy" she replied sweetly while bending to give Mindy a nice kiss on the cheek before leaving.

…

That night upon arriving at Wayne Manor Bruce didn't say a word even as Alfred immediately greeted him, the barely conscious Mindy, and the kids at the door. Naturally they all had rockets up their asses because Wayne Manor was so gorgeous and they wanted to sprint in circles, but Bruce carried Mindy up to his room and lied in bed with her somberly. From behind he managed to spoon himself around her and hold her close until they both fell asleep.

Any form of lecture or interrogation would come in the morning.


	41. Chapter 41: Old Ghosts

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Running a hand through his hair and shaking his head subtly the Joker paced about the dock where he dropped Mindy the other night and occasionally glanced down at the water with a grimace. Tryg sat on the floor with What and Fugaboo and that made the Joker all twitchy and uncomfortable too...he was with her when he got those monsters.

His breath hung in the air but he'd gone home with Tryg—why he was calling that place home was beyond him, but he was having one of those days and figured he didn't know what the hell he was doing and why. He never knew what he was doing despite contrary belief, he just did it. Why keep his toddler son around? It seemed like a pleasant idea at the time. Tryg was nice and warm because he'd retrieved his black leather Harley Davidson motorcycle jacket Mindy had bought him a while back so he wouldn't freeze his ass. The Joker didn't wear an external piece of clothing and fuck yes he was cold, but he couldn't feel it. He was so numb to anything he could have slipped under cardiac arrest and not have known or cared.

Dark water churned below, the rough current swirling in the icy breeze and his eyes couldn't move from it. Over and over in his mind's eye he dropped her, watched her fall, watched her hit the water and Batman just dive right after her despite knowing she was a mass-murdering half-beast. The bastard truly was incorruptible. Not even Bruce Wayne's steady girlfriend could convince Batman to cross over to the dark side.

His breathing slowed even more just staring at the water with absolutely no expression on his painted face. Every so often he rolled his tongue or ran a hand through his hair, but for the most part it was nothing.

"Still runnin' around with that little retard, you son of a bitch?"

The Joker's eyes widened in shock before craning his neck to the right to see the only person who ever truly frightened him just standing there watching him. The same buzzed-short dirty blonde hair, the same clean-shaven face and brown eyes, the worn tanned skin, wife beater, work pants with suspenders holding them up instead of a belt…

"You listening to me, boy?" he cocked his head dangerously and barked, charging towards him and grabbing the Joker by his ear, which made him wince and just go limp, "Huh? Am I gettin' through to you?"

The Joker's heart practically battered his ribcage as he haplessly stood by staring at the man of equal height with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in one hand and the Joker's ear in the other.

"I told you…no" he shook his head and clenched his teeth at his son with a finger in his face, "I fuckin' WARNED YOU to drop that fuckin' retard and NOW look at ya! NOW look at ya!" smashing the bottle against a lamppost he held a sharp piece of glass up to one of the Joker's seared cheeks, "Look at YOU now! Look…" his voice was slurred from the alcohol, but enough to make the Joker just stare, "look at that face…how proud would MOMMY be, huh? How FUCKIN' proud would MOMMY be to see you throw your life away for that little cunt? Huh? We love MOMMY don't we?" he got in his son's face and growled, "DON'T we…? We're ALWAYS about our MOMMY…"

The Joker squeezed his eyes shut and tried to turn his head away not to look at him any longer but the bottle was shoved right into the scars on the right side of his face and he did wince. He hated touching them even when he shaved in the mornings he was always so careful around the scars because they stung.

"Hey!" his father shouted at him, "Look at me…!"

Of course the Joker didn't.

"LOOK at ME!" with a slap to the face he got his son to look him in the eye and the Joker narrowed his eyes. "You're NOTHING" he nodded while pressing the broken glass into his son's face, "You're a LONER, a LOSER, a FREAK" his son tensed up at 'freak', "can't even get a god damn job to support your own ass, eh?" his thick Australian accent was bringing back all sorts of vibes that should have been gone, "You're a FAILURE and ah…" he eyeballed his son with a snort, "found a great way to compensate, didn't ya? Everyone loves a mentally unhinged clown runnin' around exploding buildings! Gives ya the last laugh, right?"

"Daddy?" cocking his head at his father frozen up catatonic like that, Tryg frowned and approached him, "Daddy?"

The Joker's father seemed amused by Tryg before nodding at his son, "That's some boy ye got there…gonna raise him up under YOUR fine example? A worthless failure who can't even show his hideous scarred face without pretty makeup and pussies out to a psychotic twat who is solely responsible for ruining the waste of a life you may have-"

The Joker struggled to try and hit him, but found himself completely paralytic, breathing through his teeth and shaking his head before lifting his eyes with intense dread once again.

"What? You don't LIKE it?" slapping his son across the face his father scowled and started cutting into his skin, "Why…so…SERIOUS, boy?" he laughed and could only shake his head at the Joker, "Ya self-loathing little bastard…maybe if ya weren't such an ugly lost cause the whore wouldn' be fuckin' Wayne-"

A knife swept from the Joker's hand up to the corner of his father's mouth and he literally twisted his father's arm holding the glass so it was no longer cutting into his scarred cheeks, a frightening smile across his face as he did so.

"And the funny thing about YOU" the Joker cocked his head and laughed while glaring at his father, "is your BO-DY…" he licked his lips and hissed in his face manically, "Is now disintegrating in TORONTO where I dragged your pathetic carcass into the woods after bludgeoning until I couldn't identify you as a human being or JUST another animal…"

"Daddy?" Tryg frowned and was now directly behind his father, tugging on the long purple jacket until the Joker looked down and shoved his father back, scooping Tryg into his arms and practically compressing the life out of the kid. One arm of the Joker's was coiled around Tryg's body while the other was on the back of Tryg's head, confusing the hell out of the toddler as he peered about the dock to see absolutely nothing there.

"Ssssh sh sh sh!" the Joker hushed him even though Tryg didn't say anything, which made the kid wrinkle his nose in confusion.

"But there's nothing-"

"Hey!" immediately he grabbed Tryg's chin with the hand that held the knife, trying his best to keep the blade from the baby's face.

"Go ahead, boy!" the Joker's father called after him and made the Joker cringe visibly, "Tell him the REAL reason ya won't raise him!"

"Listen to me" the Joker shook it off and pet Tryg's face quickly, "Listen…"

"Careful with that KNIFE, boy!" his father laughed even louder and the Joker clenched his teeth and winced.

"Now you LISTEN to me…" the Joker growled at Tryg to drown out his father's laughter, and the poor kid's eyes were the size of tennis balls, "I-it's a LIE…" he nodded and licked his lips in reference to his father, "none of it is true. GRANDPA likes to LIE about me, yes he does…" frantically he pet Tryg's face and rolled his tongue with a shake of the head, "He never liked me or Mommy, no" he shook his head and pet Tryg's face, "He cut up Grandma until she bled to death too" he nodded at his son with trembling lips and clutched him closer, "so…I got rid of him. I bought me and Mommy's apartment with the money I got from him dropping dead."

"Oh yeah?" the Joker's father was literally right behind him, "Why don't ya tell ya boy what happened t-"

"But I didn't know he would come BACK" he shook his head and kept his face close to Tryg's, "No…I didn't know you gotta understand me when I say…I don't know why he hated me."

"Bullshit, boy"

"I never…ever…knew…WHY…" he frowned and shook his head, "he hated me the way he did, but he did, and-"

"I don't hate you, Daddy" Tryg frowned and shook his head, though the Joker obviously disregarded it.

"The world don't give a shit about ya" the Joker's father growled at him, "All god damn liars. Everyone hates you, they think you're a FREAK and want ya t' DIE. So ya gotta kill 'em all, right? Kill 'em all to prove ya matter, t' prove…that you're a MAN"

"And" squeezing his eyes shut and twitching out the Joker shook his head and frowned, "I got rid of him, I did but he" he started to growl, "just keeps on coming BACK, Trygger! Want to explain to me WHY that is?"

"Why?" Tryg blindly asked while peering around them, "I don't see nobody."

"You're cursed, boy" the Joker's father laughed at him, "You'll get 'im too."

"Shut up" the Joker growled with clenched teeth.

"Can't keep anyone alive, you gotta kill 'em all"

"Shut up" again the same reply.

"Kill 'em all, ya little bastard! Blow 'em away, cut 'em nice and-"

"Not there not there not there NOT there…!" he muttered over and over and over before finally grabbing Tryg and fleeing the scene to go anywhere but where he was.

"Better hold onto your boy, worthless prick!" the Joker's father called after him, "He's gonna be just like ya little Carly, protected 'er so DAMN WELL!"

Pulling a rifle out of his pocket the Joker turned and fired right for his father, shaking his head in fright upon finding it was just him, Tryg, and the two dogs standing there.

"Mommy says…" Tryg interrupted a bit sweetly and grabbed his father's cheeks, "when you don't eat…" his voice dropped to a hoarse whisper and he nodded with wide eyes, "you go CRAZY."

Completely ignoring him, the Joker pet his hair nervously while staring straight ahead of them and swallowed a wad of spit. He hated when that happened.

…

Keeping her eyes downcast the moment she woke up, the immobile Mindy lay in Bruce's bed with her milkshake in hand as her boyfriend sat by her on the bed without saying a word for the longest time. Curtains were drawn shut and shadows played across Bruce's narrow features as he just watched her silently. A fortress of pillows kept Mindy's back propped and her hip-length raven mess was completely tangled and frizzy because it wasn't straightened. Amber had snuck in and weaved it all into a semi-neat low braid so it wouldn't be in the way. Now though it was just Mindy and Bruce.

"I am sorry…" she croaked while twisting the covers in her hands and keeping her eyes downcast, "Bruce I am so sorry I…"

"Did you know the entire time?" one of his hands was over her knees, which she stared at for a long moment hesitating taking it before shaking her head fearfully. "How long did you know?"

"I…" opening her mouth she frowned and shook her head, "a few days before your trust fund was frozen…" she sniffled and started welling up with tears in the corners of her eyes, "I…" croaking and trembling violently she forced the word out, "w-was p-playing piano and hitted three keys and it opened a library shelf"

"Bookshelf" he corrected her poor English kindly, "go on…"

"And" she sighed and still kept her eyes down, "it was all dark and I KNEW it was bad of me but I wented down and I found out and I saw everything everywhere and I got scared because I love you, Bruce"

They both paused at that and before Bruce could really answer that he wanted her story to continue.

"A-and Alfred found me and I cried and w-we talked and he said I should tell you but I was so SCARED I was, Bruce!" now she started crying for real as opposed to the crocodile tears she'd given Alfred and all she wanted was for him to hug her because she felt faint, "You are nice Batman and I am bad Minx and it-"

"You don't have to be" with a shake of his head he reached out and touched her cheek gently, "Hopefully your lesson about that man was-"

"DO NOT TELL ME I WAS TAUGHT A LESSON!" she didn't mean to bite, "He is a son of a bitch I KNOW how he works, okay? I worked FOR him I would-"

"Worked…?" his lips pouted, highly amused by the verb tense. The look she shot him was actually halfway amusing and her brow furrowed.

"What?" she scoffed, "Ya think I am goin' back to work for Senor Psychopath after he decided it would be cool to drop my ass into Gotham Bay?"

"I don't know" he shrugged at her, "I wouldn't be surprised"

"No. You have my answer" she responded stoicly when he reached to touch her icy-skinned face once more.

"And what makes you think I can actually trust you?"

Lifting her sleeve she showed him the diamond bracelet he'd bought her on their second date before reaching to touch his face, pulling herself up to lean forwards and kiss him, "Bruce…" with quivering lips it took her much longer than she wanted to get this out, "I love you, alright? I KNOW the access code to get your money back to you, I placed the Joker card which led you to Lucius…" it really hurt to get this all out but truth was supposedly important, "I killed those people…I told the Joker who you are…" her fingers dropped to his chest where all those ugly scars were from her slashing at him, "I put those marks on you" her voice went faint and she sobbed with a heavy shake of the head, "And I am SORRY! I am SORRY Bruce PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"

Suddenly she was pressed against his chest bawling her eyes out and he held her back, kissing the top of her head and just resting his head there.

"I'm sorry as well…" remembering the past events where he truly did a bloody number on Minx, Bruce frowned and hugged her tighter, "If I had known it was you"

"BRUCE NO! It was ME alright? I told you everything"

Silently he shook his head and kept her face buried into his warm broad chest so she could sob.

"You sat with me…"

"I did" Bruce nodded with a smile and kissed her hair once more, "though I can't take ALL the credit"

Tilting her chin back one tiny hand wove into his hair and her plumped lips covered his for a long couple seconds, paying particular attention to his lower lip because it was so much bigger than his upper lip, where there was practically nothing.

"That was for Bruce" she nodded with a slight giggle before lunging forwards and crushing their mouths together, gripping his shirt with a single hand while holding his hair with the other. Eagerly he responded and they kissed for as long as she'd allow before pulling back and speaking against his lips, "And that was for my Dark Knight" her tongue poked between her teeth because that was so lame, but he found it adorable. He needed someone lame like her being that he wasn't much fun to be around.

"Hey!" he frowned and pouted his lips, "I'll have you know that Batman wouldn't have-"

She kissed him again and swallowed hard, running her fingers through his hair and nuzzling his neck lovingly.

"I fucked up" she shrugged and nipped the tip of his nose when he shook his head and corrected.

"WE…"

"YOU-'we'…" she corrected with a poke to his nose, "are a GOOD guy. I…" she placed a hand to her chest, "am a badass half-kitty bitch."

"Yeah, what…" he frowned and ran his fingers through her hair, "what exactly ARE you?"

"OH" her eyes got bigger than they already were and she flopped back onto the pillow, "FUCK…"

He just sat there, lying next to her in the pillow fortress and nestling his head under her neck, "I'm listening…"

"I love you" she nodded and kissed the top of his head, but he readjusted himself so their lips could firmly press in the bed.

"Batman too?"

"Batman MORE…" she smirked and parted his lips with her tongue so they could kiss, "He plays dirty" she gave him an exaggerated wink and he could only grin cheekily, "I wake up with bruises after our nights together."

"Batman believes he can bring you back…" he nodded and pet her face lovingly before kissing her hard on the lips, "if you'll let me rehab you"

"Only if I get to ride in the god damn Batmobile"

"Batmobile?" an eyebrow rose and she nodded.

"What the fuck do you think it is?"

"You mean the Tumbler…?" he tried to correct with pouted lips but she shook her head.

"No…"

"The Batpod?"

"No…"

"Darling…" he smiled fondly, "I don't have a 'Batmobile'"

"Yes you do"

"Fine" he smiled just to appease her, "you ride next to me."

"But won't people be all pissed off you are teaming with me?"

"You'll be gone for so long it'll make sense for the change"

"But what if-"

"I don't do press conferences."

"You would not TRICK me would you?" frowning she shook her head, "You would not have me ARRESTED…?"

"Never" he shook his head while running his fingers through her hair, "Whatever he taught you was more valuable than any jailtime"

"I would bust out" she shrugged while cuddling against him, "You would be very annoyed how well I can bust outta shit"

"Which leads to the point of this conversation…" his fingers traced her throat and paused, "what exactly ARE you?"

Sniffling uncomfortably and glaring off to the side for a few seconds, Mindy took one of his calloused hands in her own and positioned it so his thumb directly was above her knuckles, and upon pressing down gigantic claws emerged and retracted when she ceased pressure.

"You do that at will?"

"Yes" Mindy nodded while wrapping her arms tight around Bruce.

"Was this a…" he thought a moment and furrowed his brow, "genetic mutation? Or.."

"No" her head shook immediately and her gigantic eyes widened, pupils becoming slits so he could get the full effect of the glowing feline corneas.

"I reflect any light and glow in the dark" she nodded, "I am like a glow in the dark flashlight. I absorb light during the day, so when I Minx-out at night they glow nice and purdy."

"How did you get like this…?" staring into her eyes which gradually rocked round dilated pupils once more because he'd turned her on in the worst way, Bruce brushed the braid back and tried to sit himself up more so he could be 'above' her as the man. What it was with men and having to be in a position of greater power than the woman she didn't know, but was annoyed as hell. As if she would EVER question his masculinity because he dropped his head to her shoulder. Idiot.

"Are the babies…?"

"At school" he nodded and ran a hand through her hair, "Alfred did me the favor"

Oh Alfred. She had grown so fond of him he was better than any fleet of girlfriends. Maybe that or she watched too much Monty Python and assumed all British people were hilarious.

"You?" an eyebrow rose and she sipped her milkshake while trying to shake her head, "They are MY babies, I can-"

"Nonsense" he shook his head when she tried to smile and glanced about while making the motion of writing in the air.

"Do you…?"

"Pen?"

"Paper too" she nodded and folded her arms around her chest politely while waiting.

"Sure" immediately Bruce nodded and dug through a couple of drawers before handing her both a black ink pen and a little yellow pack of sticky notes. As he folded the pen in her hand she held it to her lips and slowly kissed the fingers, nuzzling against them before scribbling a bunch of numbers down and handing the pad over.

"Go get your money back that is it"

Staring at the numbers for a long second he gave her a nod and stood off the bed.

"OH!" immediately she wagged a finger at him rapidly and nodded, "Fire Coleman Reese! Fire fire FIRE him we paid him off to freeze that shit but I watched him do it and…" she watched him raise an amused eyebrow before giggling, "yeah…"

One more bow of the head in thanks.

"I'm sorry…"

"You're forgiven" leaning down over the bed he planted a hard kiss on her while letting his fingers wander her body and stood upright once more, "I'll be back"

"And I will tell you the story" she nodded which only made Bruce smile as he left the room and kept the door open so Alfred could come in with a tray if need be.

…

"Bruce Wayne has finally gained access to his trust fund once more after an anonymous name in the scandal submitted the access code and was able to successfully crack it. With one mystery solved, Wayne has been quoted that his first venture will all go to debilitated girlfriend Mindy Stratus and making her well after a heinous attempt on her life by the Joker…" the blonde news anchor said from her post.


	42. Chapter 42: Tell Me What You Are

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"I wanna blow somethin' up" Tryg nodded while tugging his father's arm as they walked towards what he recognized as Thorn and Scarlett's school, "Make it go POW!" he made an explosion sound with his hands and nodded, "Pow pow pow!"

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" the Joker could only shake his head and roll his eyes.

Without a drop of makeup on his face he actually looked kind of clean. He wore a gray suit with a white and blue patterned button-down and black gloves. Light green hair was slicked back and Tryg just wore whatever the hell he wanted out of his closet. Lucky for Joker Mindy had literally saved every little item of his from their old apartment. Even his toothbrush and razors were sitting around in her bathroom as if he'd come back and use them, but wowing the kids with the 'rockstar' style of brushing his teeth was much more fun. They were amused by the stupidest shit.

It was making him laugh, how he could just walk by literally half of Gotham and NO ONE noticed. Some people even said 'excuse me' as they walked around him, and to him it all was just so amusing. If he wasn't making press releases in his scary clown makeup nobody even noticed he was walking with Mindy Stratus's toddler son. Well…technically…if one wanted to get technical it was his son too and legally he was doing nothing wrong.

"Yes, sir" Tryg nodded as they walked up to the building and the Joker didn't care what any of the bitches behind the desk of the private kindergarten said, he was getting what he wanted. "Why are we at the girls' school?"

…

Entering the building, the Joker pulled Tryg along to the main office where he went right up to the women at the desks and though they were frightened at first of the scars on his face, Tryg in his hand made everything better and they seemed confused because Mindy was dating Bruce.

The Joker's head cocked at the way they were looking at him before asking sarcastically, "Is there a problem?"

The women exchanged glances before shaking their heads.

"No none at all!" one immediately shook her head and regained composure, "Is there anything I can help you with, sir?"

…

Thorn and Scarlett sat diligently in their desks as a nun paced the columns of desks all lined up with a pointer which Thorn wanted to somehow shove up her ass she hated this cunt so much. Given who her parents were, there really was no surprise where homicidal thoughts played in.

"Thorn and Scarlett Napier please report to the main office" the loudspeaker came on and off, making the twins exchange glances and gulp before starting to get up from their desks and there wasn't shit Sister Sarah could say about it.

"They pronounced it wrong" Scarlett sneered with a roll of her eyes.

"They ALWAYS do" Thorn hissed right back with a shake of the head, "They make us sound like pinheads."

It was constantly deemed Nay-pee-er, but in reality it was Nay-Pierre and no they were not French at all obviously. If anything there was some Scottish descent in their father, but Mindy just said 'Australian' whenever anybody asked because it was the truth. A clearing of the throat behind the girls ticked them off and they glanced up to see old Sister Sarah staring at them.

"Napier twins…" even she said it wrong, "when you are called to the office I expect you to quietly leave your seats."

"Sorry Sister Sarah" they sighed robotically before uniformly walking out of the room holding hands, but the moment Sister Sarah turned to continue her lesson in reading the twins made hideous faces at her.

…

"Are they even COMING?" Tryg tugged the Joker's arm as they loitered outside the office and immediately two very loud screams shot down the hallway along with thunderous claps of their feet.

"DADDY!" they both screamed and latched onto the Joker's legs, "DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY!" happily they were bouncing around like crack addicts and the women in the office had to sigh in relief that the kids knew who he was, because they'd never seen him. Mindy Stratus never spoke of the father of her children, all anyone knew was she had gotten pregnant quiet a few times and remained mum as to the whereabouts of the father.

He said nothing but touched the tops of their heads before happily signing them out with a scribble so incomprehensible nobody could decipher a name while leaving with the excuse of a doctor's appointment and they would be back in an hour or so.

…

"So where are we going, Daddy?"

"Yeah, where are we going?"

"WOW this is so cool, Daddy, we thought you were gone forever!"

"How did you find us, Daddy? We go to school how'd you find us?"

"We MISSED you, Daddy we did! We miss you LOTS all the time!"

"Why did you go, Daddy?"

"Where's your makeup?"

"You look scary without makeup where is it?"

THAT was one he hadn't heard before between the tag-team of Thorn and Scarlett just loading on questions to their heart's content. He didn't answer any of them but Tryg was swung around his back while he walked with a twin in each hand. Why he did what he did he didn't know, they had no use to him none of them did.

"I look scary WITHOUT it?" one of his light eyebrows rose and he just stared at the twins who were bundled up in Burberry plaid coats as they both nodded simultaneously.

"Yes."

"How did you get that?" Tryg frowned while running his fingers along the scars on his father's face and the Joker didn't respond other than looking down at the five-year-old twins.

"Who dropped you off?"

"Alfred did!" they chirped and the Joker nodded along while licking his lips and blinking his eyes involuntarily.

"Why do you do that?" Thorn wrinkled her nose and looked up at him, which made him even more confused.

"Do what?"

"YOU know…!" Thorn tilted her blonde head covered in a black Burberry beret all the way back so he could see the way she rotated her jaw around like someone with Parkinson's before flickering her tongue around like a lizard, twitching randomly, and blinking her eyes rapidly. The Joker's eyes got wide and he frowned at her while shaking his head.

"OH, come on! It's not THAT bad"

"HA HA!" Thorn pointed at him and cackled, "You twitch!"

"Do not"

"Aren't you COLD?" Scarlett frowned as her gloved hand squeezed her father's leather gloved hand, "It is so cold Daddy and your JACKET isn't even buttoned!"

"That's not a REAL jacket!" Thorn corrected, "That's a SUIT jacket! It's not even supposed to keep him warm!"

"DADDY!" Scarlett gasped and shook her head at him, "How COULD you not wear a coat?"

He shrugged.

"You really don't care, do you?" Thorn frowned and squeezed his hand tighter as his eyes lifted to the sky before shaking his head. "What happened to your cheeks?"

He swallowed before wrinkling his nose and shaking his head, "I'll tell you when you're twenty-one."

"Awww DAD!" Tryg frowned and growled, "They turn twenty-one first!"

"Sucks for ya, little one" he replied with a sigh while licking his lips.

"Mommy woke up" Scarlett nodded at him while rubbing his gloved hand, "She's okay kinda."

"Bruce is taking care of her" Thorn nodded matter-of-factly before frowning, "she can't walk yet though."

"Did I ASK about Mommy?" he snapped coldly and made the girls cringe for a second. Tryg took over for them and exhaled.

"No. But you think about her all the time and you talk about her"

"Alright…" he barred his teeth to try and signal that was enough.

"And you ask about her when you think you're not and"

"Al-RIGHT, Trygger…" he twitched but the girls giggled as Tryg kept going on to irritate him.

"And you get mad when we say you love her and-"

"Trygger! Please!" he shouted with a growl and twitched a second before licking his lips and sighing, "MUST you insist on making me hate you all every-"

"You don't hate us" Scarlett teased with a kiss to his hand, "Or you wouldn't pick us up from SCHOOL"

"From MEAN SISTER SARAH" Thorn nodded while sticking her tongue all the way out, and the Joker was amused.

"'Mean Sister Sarah'…?"

"Yeah!" Scarlett whined, "She's a REAL haggy bitch"

"And we HATE her!" Thorn chimed in.

"She can't even get our NAME right!"

"So to save us from her you HAVE to love us!" Thorn concluded quite nicely and eyeballed him, "And you look funny."

"I think we established that twenty minutes ago" he sneered.

…

Stir-crazy with just lying in bed like a complete slug, Mindy pulled the covers off and just hovered above the ground to wait for Bruce in the kitchen for when he came home. The moment he walked in alongside Alfred, Mindy put down her peanut butter crackers (compensating for Jack subconsciously) and flew across the room just to wrap her arms around him in the doorway. He'd brought Thorn, Scarlett, and Amber home while Chelsea sat happy at the table hand-feeding Fievel, Peking, and Mallow Mars single kibbles of cat food. The twins knew better than to say a word to anyone about Daddy taking them out of school for a few hours. Maybe they could tell Mommy, but considering how she was making voodoo dolls of Daddy that may not have been the smartest idea either, so they had no problem of keeping it to themselves incase Daddy came back.

…

Down in the Batcave, Bruce sat under a lone lamp attempting to focus on reading a guide on becoming a mechanic until he hired a new trusted friend to design and create his suit/gadgets. Mindy contently watched him from her spot sitting on the metal table, gently skimming his hair with her fingers when one of his rough palms closed over her fingers and kissed them to keep her attention.

"Hi" she mouthed with a weak smile and without a word he breathed through his nose and pressed down on her palm, extending the claws in childish fascination before pulling her into his lap and frowning.

"What are you?"

Blowing air past her lips in his lap she dropped her head all the way back over his shoulder so her chin was parallel with the ceiling and groaned loudly.

"WHY do you want to know?"

"Well" sighing he rubbed the back of his neck and tightened the hold he had on her waist, "being that I've been led on, deceived, used, and utterly heartbroken as a direct result of YOU I believe I have a right to know what you-"

Leaning forwards her lips covered his and they kissed tenderly, "I love you…"

"Then you'll tell me what you are."

A long inhale through her nose and Mindy sighed before running her fingers through her own braided frizzy raven mess.

"I have paranoid schizophrenia…I told you the story…"

"Of your disorder…?"

"Of Mommy and Daddy…"

"You did" he nodded curtly before taking a breath and frowning.

"I poked Mommy's eyes out with a pair of scissors because Natasha told me to do it"

"A hallucination?"

Nodding along for a second she pursed her lips, "Imaginary friend."

"And Natasha told you…" it was hard to believe they were speaking so casually of something so frightening, "to…"

"Get her eyes out before she killed me while I was sleeping? Yes" she nodded, took a deep breath, and sighed, "Obvi I got caught when Daddy called the po-pos…"

"And you were committed?"

"As a normal twelve-year-old girlie I went to Borehamwood Mental Hospital in Toronto, Canada. I grew up in a town called Richmond Hill, a suburb outside of Toronto…" her eyes dropped and her collagen-fused lips pouted, "and I did not get to see my Jack or my Trisha but they visited me when they could."

"So you were completely taken from your family?" he frowned when she snorted and stared at him like he had eight heads.

"Family? Pfft!" she scoffed with a dismissive wave of the hand and barred her teeth, "I WAS RAISED IN A DOGGY KENNEL THANK YOU! I WAS A DEMON FROM HELL! I KNOW THE BIBLE BECAUSE I GOT BEATED UP TO IT! I WAS TIED TO TABLES AND CHAIRS MY FATHER FUCKING TOUCHED ME ALL THE TIME SAYING IT WAS GOD'S WORK! WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF FAMILY DID I HAVE?"

"Your sister too…?" never assume with this female he should have learned that.

"HAH! You kidding? Trisha Anne woulda sang like a god damn canary if they pulled ANY a' that shit on her! He fucked with me because I would not tell! I did not speak until I was six and no English until I was eleven! I am an immigrant raised on my CRAZY fucking Polish and Greek! I do not know how Jack could fucking stand me when we were babies, he musta been a really desperate little boy for friends because…" trembling to calm herself before she screamed more, she stopped, "Fuck. Anyway. My English is a piece of shit I already explained that to you and if I did not you just heard why it is. At Borehamwood they decided to…" she bent her fingers with a scowl, "'explore' the world of a paranoid schizophrenic even more by fucking me up any way they could. They took me underground…"

_A puny twelve-year-old Mindy with stringy hip-length brown hair in a plain hospital gown was carefully laid out on an operating table and stabilized in a hospital basement with no windows and only one door. _

"Since I said that a imaginary person made me SEE Natasha…they drew connections to a kitty because THEY can see ghosts…they thought maybe schizo people can see into the 'beyond' and they could prove this with kitty eyes"

_Mindy's eyes were physically pulled out and replaced with the eyes of a dead black cat on the table next to her._

"And if THAT did not give them wanted results, they thought maybe if I could make more kitty-like sounds I could talk to my delusions and understand them"

_Mindy's vocal cords had many extra strings inserted directly from the cat's throat before being sewn back up._

"Then I looked like such a freak they decided it would be funny to make me have retractable claws since they realized the experiments were for SHIT soooo they took claws off a Puma and give them to me as a baby"

_While pressing down after reconstructing the bone alignment in Mindy's tiny hands large predatory claws extended and retracted as they wished._

"It was not enough though" she sighed, "Cat blood seemed smart. So they mixed and matched our DNA, gave me kitty eardrums so maybe I could 'hear' shit from beyond, and turned me into a monster because it was COOL after a while…"

"That doesn't explain-"

"Flight? Heh" curling her lips she nodded along and sniggered, "You yourself have a sample of it chillin' in a freezer somewhere I read…" she sniffled, "I got injected with a spit of Xium to see what it would do…I can fly now. As far as super-strength and all that bullshit I got nada. I can die from anything, everything hurts me, you poke me and I say ow…" she shrugged, "I am not a very good fighter."

"You really ARE human…" he ran a hand through her hair and she nodded.

"I am not half-whatever. They just call me a 'half-beast' cuz I can do all that shit and its weird. I know it is weird look at my fucking EYES that I have to live with!" her pupils were heavily dilated and very big to adjust to the darkness, but she looked just like a cat, "What the fuck do I do with myself, ya know?"

"How do you hide that?"

"Jack used to trick my eyes and make them normal by sliding a hand in front of them and I went along with it."

"He knew…?"

"OH yeah!" she snorted, "My Trisha ANNE does not know because she is a cop and if she knew I was Minx she'd be a god damn bitch and arrest me and shit."

"Yet-"

"Honey…" her eyebrows rose pointedly, "If the man you have been in a relationship with since before you knew what a relationship was did not know you have kitty parts and you did the nasty…?" cringing she nodded, "There MAY be una problema."

"And you've hidden it so well for all these years…"

"Mhmmm aside from bein' the Minx which started when I was ehhh…" she shrugged, "twenty-six."

"You worked for the Joker…?"

"He found out about me through the grapevine…" oh lies, glorious lies, "we are kinda buddies."

"Until he proceeded to drop you into Gotham Bay-"

"Yes" she twitched out and scowled, "THAT too…"

"Do any of your children have-"

"No" that at least wasn't a lie, "Nope, nope, nope just me. It is not in my eggs and shit I do not have a kitty reproductive system, at least I HOPE not"

"They tend to come in litters" he smirked and Mindy could only groan.

"You need help."

"I need to understand what the hell you are"

Her nose wrinkled, "I am human. I do not change and get fur and shit I don't rock that way. My costume has a tail that moves around as I want it to it is like your memory cape thing."

"Who taught you hand-to-hand combat?"

"Why, you like it?" she grinned when immediately he shook his head with wide eyes.

"You're terrible!"

Her jaw just about hit the floor and she wrinkled her nose.

"I mean your legs are…" he stared at the short limbs which were stocked like tree trunks, "incredibly strong…but" he felt bad making her feel like shit so suddenly, "You HAVE a ton of power behind you…" eyeballing her he nodded again, "probably the strongest I've ever come across…"

"My ARMS?" she held up her pathetically unfit arm and raised her eyebrows, "Whatcha gotta say about THAT?"

"We'll work on it."

"As in…" her heart almost popped out of her chest with dread, "exercise?"

"Yes!" he nodded happily and kissed her temple, "Lots of it! It'll be a part of your physical therapy!"

"Ahem Bruce…" she turned his chin to her, "do you forget who I am and how I do not ever lift a finger"

"And we'll improve it. Trust me."

"I do not want to"

"Too bad."

…

"He needs to talk to Mommy that's what he needs to do" Amber shrugged to her younger twin sisters while leading the miniature horse Mindy named Bailey around by a sparkly pink halter and lead line (purchased by Mindy of course) towards a pretty decent patch of grass, "She's pissed as all hell he doesn't even realize it."

Stopping and giving Bailey some slack so he could munch on some grass happily, Amber flopped onto her rear and extended her long bony legs out in front of her. Thorn pulled Oxa to a stop on her sparkly orange leash while Scarlett tossed her long blonde locks to the wind and stared at Wayne Manor in the distance.

"Oh he does" Scarlett nodded with wide eyes, though Thorn shook her head disbelievingly and wrinkled her nose.

"Daddy's nuts, Scar,"

"He doesn't CARE" Amber corrected nastily, "but he does and he knows he does. He's just a psycho"

"How do YOU know?" Scarlett challenged while placing her hands on her hips with a pout, "He picked me and Thorn up from SCHOOL"

"No he didn't" Amber scowled when the twins both scowled.

"YES HE DID!"

"WHEN?" Amber snapped when the twins went right back at her.

"YESTERDAY!"

"WHY?" Amber rolled her eyes at them and snorted, "Why would he EVER want to see YOU two?"

"We're his BABIES!" Thorn argued with a simple shrug, "He said so himself"

"Daddy does NOT talk that way"

"He did to us!" Scarlett immediately jumped in on defense, "He had TRYGGY with him too and he said he missed us, he did!"

"Oh yeah?" Amber raised an eyebrow, "Then why did he never wanna be our daddy when we were babies? Where is he NOW when Mommy is GOING to marry another man, you KNOW she will marry Bruce!"

"She can't!" Scarlett shook her head happily and curled her lips, "Daddy says she can't!"

"Of course he does" clearly Amber had grown tired of the routine, "What does he DO about it?"

"Do you WANT Daddy to kill Bruce?" Thorn gasped and shook her head, "I LIKE Bruce!"

"But do you want him as your DADDY?" Amber raised an eyebrow and looked to her sisters, who frowned and hung their heads with quivering lips.

No…they didn't want another father. Sure theirs was sociopathic royalty and an anarchist philosopher, but he loved them in the only way he could express himself. Abandonment was his gesture of compensation for past shortcomings, wasn't it? Clearly whatever he did wasn't SO horrible or their mother wouldn't have stood by him the way she had, though it appeared she'd finally had enough. Whatever was assured to their mother that he didn't care what she did with Bruce was a lie. Their father was being eaten alive and figured the only way to seal his bleeding heart was to kill her? Who knew with him. He'd lie if asked about it anyway. All he did was lie. His actions were the sole indicators of what he was feeling or thinking, and hardly anyone could even begin to comprehend those.

"Look…" running a hand through her hair as Oxa rested her head in Thorn's lap, Amber double-took between the twins before sighing, "I love Daddy too"

"He's gonna go AWAY!" out of NOWHERE Scarlett broke into a choked sob and just began bawling, frightening her older sister to the point that she was ripped into a hug and her back was rubbed as her icy tears fell onto Amber's purple Burberry trench coat, "Mommy will make him GONE, she will!"

"Sssshh…" looking to Thorn for help, Amber shook her head and held her younger sister close while a bleary-eyed Thorn kept Scarlett's hair out of her mouth.

"I want Daddy, I want Daddy…!" she begged and pleaded into her sister's coat, her face reddened from both the cold and crying, "I want him I want him I want him!" she coughed and sniffled, taking a moment to heave a few quick breaths before crying harder, "I want Daddy…"

"Why can't Mommy love Daddy?" Thorn snapped at Amber while holding her ears, "GOD how hard is it-"

"Because DADDY is an IDIOT!" Amber shouted right back and shook her head, "He didn't want us BEFORE"

"But he DOES now…!" Thorn nodded while running her fingers through the recovering Scarlett's hair, "We have to make Mommy fall in love again"

"Mommy IS in love, stupid" Amber groaned while pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head, "Daddy's just a stupid idiot boy who likes to be mean."

"I miss Daddy" Scarlett repeated once more with a sigh and a frown, "I want him to come get us."

"And bring us where?" Amber shrugged, "He lives with Mommy while she is here…but when she's not?"

"I don't CARE" Scarlett replied curtly while squeezing her eyes shut to make the tears stop.

"You want Daddy with Mommy's bank account" Amber maternally glared at Scarlett, and the toddler shrugged.

"I don't care. Daddy wants to be with us too he said it, he did."

"Oh yeah?" Amber scowled, "Why can't he tell Mommy that?"

"Because he pushed her in the water and tried to kill her and now she wants to make accordion of his upper and lower intestines" Thorn nodded with big eyes, scaring the shit out of Amber as Scarlett mutely nodded in agreement with her twin.


	43. Chapter 43: Terms of Endearment

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Floating out of bed Mindy decided it wouldn't hurt to finally try walking. Physical therapy had just begun but she clearly wasn't waiting for the therapist to tell her she could walk. Lowering to her feet she clamped onto random pieces of furniture and hobbled to the door, falling forwards as it opened and smacking on her forearms.

"Ow….!" Barring her teeth and hissing she slapped the hardwood floor with her palms and grunted, "JESUS, son of a Christ!"

Sucking in air through her teeth, Mindy heaved back up to her feet and snagged onto the wall, pounding off it with every step propelling forward towards any stairs she could find. Wayne Manor was gigantic there had to be stairs in different places.

Tuckered out and panting, the moment she reached the grand staircase Mindy held onto the railing and tried her hardest to keep balance while going down when the inevitable occurred.

"Miranda?" Bruce's eyes widened from the bottom of the stairs and—she tumbled down about three steps and yowled before flipping the hip-length mess of hair out of her face and waving daintily.

…

"You CAN'T walk yet" Bruce laid Mindy down on one of the couches in the den with a Caramel Frappeccino in one of her hands and Cool Ranch Dorito's in the other. As usual, quite the disgusting combination but she couldn't care less.

"But I WANT to" she pulled out her straw and stuck it back into the glass several times just because she could.

"You want a lot of things" pulling the remote out from between them he sighed with a kiss to the temple, "doesn't do anything for me but add another pain in the ass."

"Coming from the most boring being I have ever come in contact with"

His eyebrows rose in amusement before turning to face her, "You consider BATMAN a boring pastime?"

"You are not Batman around me" her nose wrinkled and she waved him off while folding their hands together, "but you are not Bruce Wayne either."

"Then who am I?" he quizzed gently while stroking the side of her hand with his thumb and she snorted.

"Good fucking question. At least Batman tells me like he sees it while somehow alluding to the path of self-righteousness."

"You really ARE a bitch, you know that?" Bruce smiled fondly and just waited for her to nod along, chewing the inside of her cheek before crawling under Bruce's arm to press a weak kiss on him.

"I wanna watch a movie."

"Which one?" he furrowed his brow when she shrugged and started eating a Dorito while sipping her drink.

"Terms of Endearment" she nodded while drumming her fingers together happily, though he was groaning so she whacked him in the chest.

"OW!"

"What's WRONG with it?" she scowled when he shrugged and placed his hands up quickly.

"Nothing, I just-"

"Look" sighing she pinched the bridge of her nose and frowned, "Titanic was next in line and that is my favorite movie of all fucking time so you are QUITE the lucky boy I did not make you watch THAT one like I used to make my Jack watch with me."

"And where on the list does this one fall out?" he stood off the couch to get up and leave the room, but she frowned and shook her head while taking his hand and kissing it.

"Second favorite" she nodded happily before hugging his neck and kissing him hard on the lips, "I hate cancer movies because they always end the same but this one is good. Jack Nicholson is my favorite"

"That's a far cry from DiCaprio in the other one"

"He plays an ASTRONAUT! An ASTRONAUT!" noticing he wasn't all-too thrilled about it she pouted her lips and hugged his arm, "COME ON! That's fricken' cool!"

"Oh I see how it is" he nodded with curled lips.

"Become an astronaut and maybe I will-"

"Knock you into god damn orbit"

"HUSH you!" her finger pressed to his lips and she shook her head as he kissed it, "Go get my damn movie since I am not allowed to-WAHHH!"

Off the couch he swept her and while holding onto her snacks she let him carry her out towards the front door. Alfred had to chuckle while standing near Chelsea, who was having a field day with Fievel and Mallow Mars by making them dance in the Living Room. Peking was smarter than that and sat on the piano bench watching the poor animals get tortured by the three-year-old Autistic.

"Hey hey hey hey hey!" Mindy kicked the air on the way out the door and frowned, "Batmobile is THAT way THAT WAY THAT WAY!"

Pausing in the doorway he pouted his lips and shook his head with wide eyes, "To rent a MOVIE?"

"I want Burger King…and some McDonald's" she pouted to hopefully entice him though he shook his head.

"I think the clearance at the drive-thru is thirteen feet" he frowned when another bright idea popped into her head.

"Batpod!"

"Absolutely not"

"WHY?"

"All this whining you better stock up on crap because this is the last time you'll be allowed to eat it."

"WHAT?"

…

Driving through the streets of Gotham, Bruce's Lamborghini eased through traffic by Bruce's constant weaving and Mindy just sat with her knees pulled to her chest in a pout, glaring as far out the window as she could which upset him.

Sighing deeply he glanced her way only to receive a huff, so he backed off. Training his eyes to the road he tried just driving for a moment before flipping through Mindy's iPod and deciding to put if on shuffle because that was how she liked it, and Ricky Martin came on. She should have been dancing around but no, not even 'Livin' la Vida Loca' could get her moving at this point. He was seriously fucked if Ricky Martin wasn't working his magic on her.

With a quick tap to the wheel with the side of his hand Bruce checked back over, and she did nothing but stare out the window and made him even crazier.

"Oh come on…!" sighing he shook his head and leaned back against the leather driver's seat, frowning, "you can't STILL be bitter over-"

"Ep!" a hand went up and in his face to silence him, "Sorry, schmuck. I do not talk to mean boys like you."

"Miranda…!" still he pleaded, and she shot him the finger before waving him away and staring out the window. Eventually 'You and Me' by Lifehouse came on the moment he stopped in front of Blockbuster video and he looked to her with a frown, "Would you like to be carried?"

"I would like a movie and do you have popcorn at home?"

"Alfred makes homemade kettle corn if that interests you-"

"Yes" she nodded immediately before leaning over the seat and giving him a long exaggerated kiss, pausing her iPod before the first verse came and just making out with him as long as she felt like, knowing fully well that was making him a happy boy to be rewarded for his efforts. "Now go."

"Yes, ma'am" with a lingering kiss and a wink he left the car and left it running for her. Considering what had just occurred between Batman and Minx it was risky for him to just leave the car running that way, but for some godly reason he trusted her. He trusted her with a hell of a lot, probably even his life, he loved her.

Sniffling for a second she sighed before moving to put the iPod back on but her phone rang and the last number she wanted to see was on the screen…and since she ignored it the past forty other times it came in she finally picked up the phone and remained uncharacteristically silent.

Breathing on the other end at first; she rested her head to the window and groaned for the inevitable.

"Where are you?" the hoarse grumble made her eyes narrow and she sneered, "Where…ARE…you…Kitten?"

No response yet again, making her hear an annoyed groan and muttering before he spoke more.

"Look..." an exhale, "Kitten…" the voice got softer and she knew it was a trick, "Kitten…PLEASE? Pretty please? Talk, please?"

No response so the voice got harsher.

"I'm not fucking around, Kitten I know you're there. You fucking answer me when I address you, you got it?"

"Fuck. That" Mindy mouthed so he couldn't hear and he just kept going it was priceless.

"KITTEN!" that was a growl, "ANSWER ME! You little bitch that I hate, answer me!"

"Nope" now just plain being difficult she yawned as he continued snarling and spitting at her.

"Heh" now he laughed a bit lowly before pausing, "What if I…said that if YOU don't answer me when I call you I'll ahh…" knowing him so well he was pausing to lick his lips, "drown…the boy."

"No you won't…" she whispered so faintly he couldn't hear.

"I'll do it too, Kitten…" he paused and allowed his voice to waver, "You KNOW I will"

"No you woonnn't…" she sighed in a sing-song voice while keeping her head plastered to the window.

"Kitten…" he cracked, which made her smile because he got a bit cute when all flustered and aggravated, "look, I know you're there" he found an error, "maybe you're not LISTENING, but you're there…"

"I love you…" blowing air past her lips she frowned because she had the phone on mute, "even though I HATE YOU right now and want to strangle your intestines for the dawn of life."

"I dropped you…" a sigh, "I did…only…because…" he drawled out for a second, "I knew he wouldn't let you die. He'd…" he growled, "jump right in and SAVE you, Kitten, just like you always wanted. A knight in god damn shining armor to 'save' you from the big bad dog"

"Prove it" he couldn't hear her but talking back was fun.

"I didn't take into account…" he was fighting himself, "that you were too much of a pussy for a little water"

"Fuck you"

"And got yourself hypothermia, alright? That was ALL YOU…"

"Of COURSE, Kitten, YOU chloroformed yourself and fell into the Gotham Bay!" she mocked in probably one of the closest most spot-on Joker voices for a girl.

"But that's OKAY, Kitten, that's all well…you see…I'm willing to DEAL with your incompetence if you just work with me and come home…"

"Why?"

"The boy won't shut the hell up, Kitten, I…I don't know what to DO with him he's all whiny, and needy, and whiny, and needy, and…"

"Go fuck yourself, Jack" her eyes rolled but of course motormouth never shut up.

"If you ever get the hell over yourself, Kitten, you'll know I didn't mean that personally, alright? …I…LOVE you, Kitten…I do. And knowing that should be enough to make you under-stand what I'm SAYING when I tell you it was nothing personal between us"

"God why the fuck do I fucking love you…"

"When…has it…EVER been personal between us, Kitten? I wouldn't have touched a god damn hair on your discombobulated head if I doubted for ONE MEASELY SECOND that it would have resulted in your…immanent death…"

She pinched the bridge of her nose and wanted to scrape her nails against the window of the car.

"But BatWayne can't KILL, Kitten! He wouldn't have let a thing happen to you either way"

"Then why do it, shithead?"

"I wanted to see what Wayne would do and naturally he didn't disappoint. He'd drop you in a SECOND if BATMAN had a moral decision to make and YOU were on the shit-end…"

She didn't want to admit it, but the bastard was fucking correct. That wasn't a test for Bruce OR Batman…that was a message for HER. By giving Batman the choice of either saving Bruce's girlfriend or the cold-blooded killer, Batman freely chose the dangerous feline who happened to conveniently be Bruce Wayne's girlfriend so he won on both ends. Either way he knew Batman wouldn't let her drown, but that was the point. Batman wouldn't always SAVE her especially now if someone used her against him. He would make Batman decide what he did and she unfortunately if put up against the likes of Gordon or somebody really 'important' to the city he'd drop her like a bad habit. The Joker wanted her to know that. He was fucking warning her because he loved her. He loved her and subtle (by his standards) little things like that defined him. He loved her he fucking adored her, and the last thing he wanted was for her to become some desperate housewife for billionaire Batman only to eventually be left behind when the next babe came along. And all that stemmed from a little water trick.

Immediately welling up with tears she pressed the mute button again so it returned to normal, "Jack…?"

"I knew you were there"

Nodding nervously she gulped and trembled before forcing out, "I love you…I really love you Jack I love you forever."

"Then" his voice got really high, "get OVER yourself and come HOME."

"I miss you, Jack" her lips quivered as she spoke, "Every second."

With bated breath she awaited his next statement, but it never came. He breathed for a few seconds before hanging up so she could let out a choked sob and cry loudly into a loosely cupped hand over her mouth. She hated him. Sniffling she coughed before pressing 'play' on her iPod and it came over the car stereos. The sappy girly-boy anthem that all girls wished their crappy boyfriends would sing to them.

_All of the things that I want to say  
Just aren't coming out right  
I'm tripping on words, you got my head spinning  
I don't know where to go from here_

"_What the HELL are you eating?" Jack cocked his head while entering the kitchen on a Sunday to see peroxide-blonde little Mindy sitting cross-legged on a countertop eating out of a tub of Strawberry ice cream with an ugly-looking can beside her. Lifting her eyes after pulling the spoon from her mouth, Mindy shrugged and continued crunching on the green thing._

"_Ice cream and pickles" the very way she was crunching on the pickle made him hold his throat so he wouldn't gag. _

"_Are you pregnant? That's a weird combination…" _

_Rolling her eyes she decided to be cheeky and wrap only her legs around his waist, "Maybe via immaculate conception. Surprise! You are the father of the next Jesus!"_

_Pouting his lips in confusion at that, Jack shook his head and furrowed his brow, "What's wrong with baby Jesus?"_

_Cause it's you and me and all of the people  
With nothing to do, nothing to prove  
And it's you and me and all of the people_

"_Jack…" Mindy whined the moment her blonde dark-eyed husband walked in the door while dragging her feet and lazily extending her arms upwards so he'd hug her. At first he seemed thrilled to see her, but gradually became more and more upset because she wasn't smiling. _

"_Kitten?" alarmed now he frowned and ran a hand through the stringy blonde locks so he could get a look at her bare face and kiss her forehead, "Sweetheart…?"_

_Her lips pouted and her nose wrinkled until she finally continued to cease his heart attack, "Jack"_

"_Yes, darling?" they kissed, Mindy becoming completely absorbed before remembering what she was mad about and smacking him in the chest._

"_You forgot to leave me any dinero for groceries. I hadda scrape up change off the floor!"_

"_Well…" smiling fondly because he knew that was because she dropped the money and forgot she did so, "always remember; JESUS didn't even have a place to live."_

_She gave him a very serious look before bopping the tip of his nose angrily, "Schmuck. He can sleep in the god damn shed."_

"_But Kitten…" frowning he swept her into a carry and kissed her neck repeatedly, "we don't HAVE a shed."_

"_When we move back to Kangaroo Land we will"_

"_Perth, darling. I was born in Perth." _

_And I don't know why I can't keep my eyes off of you_

_Jumping up and down on the bed when she and Jack were fifteen, a chunky brunette Mindy picked up one of Jack's plain gray pillows and threw it at him from his spot on the ground stabbing one of the kitchen knives into the floor. It was a Sunday so Jack's father was home too (joy of joys) and though Mindy may have not been allowed over Jack just couldn't care less. Kitten was allowed wherever the hell she wanted to be especially after being locked away in an asylum and mutilated for three years. _

"_Favorite veggie…" hopping on the bed and catching Jack's attention she pointed his way, "go!" _

"_Uhmm…." Gritting his teeth he cringed and shrugged with a shake of the head. He hated vegetables and clearly answered too slow for her. _

"_JUST SAY TOMATOES" she yelled to spike his interest, and smiling coyly he stood up and slowly approached the bed. _

"_Why?" _

"_I LOVE TOMATOES!" squealing she didn't catch the smirk which spread across his face and WHAM! _

_Not only did he tackle her to the bed, but got her top over her head and rested a hand over her bare breasts while pumping his hips against hers, kissing all over her face and down her neck when she began unbuttoning his pants while he worked on hers. _

"_Jack…" she moaned into his mouth with an airy giggle, more than ready for him right then and there when the door swung open and…begin panicking. With a gasp Mindy sat up and tried desperately to fix her clothes while Jack worked on his and stood off the bed protectively from his own father gawking at his girlfriend. "M-Mr. Napier I am SO sorry, I…"_

"_Kitten…" craning his neck to her quickly as she stood off the bed and slowly approached Jack, he shook his head. The middle-aged blonde balding man with fierce light eyes and a leaner frame despite the alcoholism approached his son with Mindy and could only crack a drunken smile. _

"_What you two…" lazily he motioned between the both of them and did know Mindy was wearing his late wife's wedding rings; Jack had stolen them himself and made a premature marriage proposal, "doin' in here, huh?" his eyes scanned the couple and caught Mindy hugging onto Jack's arm right away, "You makin me a granddaddy?"_

"_Dad…" closing his eyes and clenching his teeth for a brief moment, Jack tried everything he could to keep himself from knocking his father's lights out, "Just get out."_

"_You KNOW she ain't allowed in this house, boy!" he charged towards Jack quickly; the teenaged boy just readied himself for yet another beating but no. Much to Jack's horror he dragged Mindy over by her arm, "I warned you not to bring this little whore into the house, ya ungrateful son of a bitch! I gave you ONE RULE, shithead! I don't want you fuckin' this whore in my house! She ain't even pretty!" eyeballing Mindy he shook his head, "Least ya coulda done was-"_

_BAM! Jack popped a fist right into his father's face before retrieving Mindy and dragging her out of the house with him as fast as they could go with his astonished father sprinting after them._

"_Ohhh you'll pay for that, boy!" Jack's father stopped in the front doorway as his son dragged his fiancée down the street worriedly looking back, "GOTTA COME HOME AT SOME POINT! AND WHEN YA DO YOU'RE DEAD!"_

_Something about you now_  
_I can't quite figure out_  
_Everything she does is beautiful_  
_Everything she does is right_

"_Kitten?" whenever he came home from work to her not watching television or eating while sitting cross-legged on one of the counters (despite his request for her to get to sleep without him she never did) he figured something was wrong. Sometimes schizophrenic episodes came out of nowhere and he'd have to pull her out from inside one of the cabinets or something. She always hid in there. Starting to chatter his teeth a bit he curled his lips and glanced about the kitchen area, "Kitten…?" he frowned, "Kitten? Kitten, darling I'm home!" still no response, "Kitten!" _

_About to head into their bedroom he stopped at sight of their little two-person table…there was a high chair between the two of them along with three set places with labels 'Mommy', 'Daddy', and a little white stick sitting on the high chair which he had to pick up in shock and see that it was none other than a positive pregnancy test. With wide eyes his hand went through his hair and the biggest grin formed across his face before nearly dropping the test and bolting into their bedroom._

"_KITTEN!" _

_Squealing like a schoolgirl Mindy was up out of nowhere with her legs around his waist and their mouths locked together._

"_We're having a baby?"_

"_Mmmm-HM!" her mouth opened and she laughed loudly while hugging his neck and squeezing it tight, "Surprised ya, didn't I?"_

"_Kitten, I'm thrilled." Nodding happily he kissed her for as long as he could before reality bit, "I don't know how the hell we're going to afford a baby, but-"_

"_Maybe my album will drop by then" she nodded and kissed him, "They gotta promote me for a while but its all finished, once I hit radio we're set! You never have to work that icky job ever again!"_

"_I look forward to it" he nodded wide widened eyes before smiling at her pitifully thin lower abdomen and kissing her cheek, "but first I'm fattening you up."_

"_I was already fat" she snapped and shook her head, "I fixed it."_

"_Eating once a day only screws ya up even more, Kitten, stop it" kissing her firmly on the lips he shook his head, "I want a chubby baby, skinny ones look like cancer patients."_

"_And what if your chubby baby grows up to be morbidly obese?" she hissed with a shake of the head, "Did not think THAT one through, now did ya?"_

"_Babies are only cute when they're fat"_

"_Oh yeah?" nodding quickly she stared at him with big eyes, "Well once our baby gets older and is unable to fit through doors I will tell it that Daddy was the one who wanted a slug for a baby."_

"_A slug?" shaking his head he carried her into the kitchen to stare at the display in front of him, "I never said I wanted a slug"_

"_At this rate, that is what baby is gonna be for first Halloween if I let YOU run shit" her nose wrinkled and she could only shake her head disappointedly, "Fat babies…what the hell's the matter with you? Did you inhale some chemicals?"_

_He pinched her butt so hard she hit the ceiling._

_What day is it? And in what month?_  
_This clock never seemed so alive_

Oh yeah….she cried like a bitch to that one. Constantly she was surrounded by couples who made her want to gag they were so all over each other and admittedly she once had that too, but she wouldn't trade her bastard husband for anyone in the world.

…

"We are SO doing this with the Tumbler, I hope you know" Mindy nodded as Bruce accepted her bag of Burger King from the drive-thru (quite a sight with the Lamborghini) and sped off.

"Not on your life" he shook his head with a dry smirk, "Are you kidding me?"

"Why the hell not?" shrugging she pulled a fry out of the bag and force-fed it to him, "Batman gets hungry too."

Shaking his head Bruce reached over and kissed her fingers, "We'll see…if you let me train you right I'll have Batman make a stop every night."

"Eeeee!" squealing happily she pounced over the console and kissed him, pressing her lips all up his neck and earlobe before his right hand cupped her face tenderly.

"I love you."

…

Sniffling and squeezing Bruce's hand in hers Mindy wouldn't stop both talking and eating for the entire duration of the film they watched in the den. She had a comment for every sequence, a story following some events, opinions out the ass, and he just nodded along soaking it all in. What was he gonna do? Tell her to shut up? Yes, she was annoying as all hell but it was so delightful and cute he could just listen all day. The Canadian accent made her unfunny comments about four times more amusing and she was making the garbage food look pretty good…so he snuck what he could because she wasn't allowing him to eat her food that HE bought for her.

Then the daughter in the film discovered that she had cancer…now (clearly having seen this movie a thousand times) Mindy cuddled under Bruce's chest and cried the whole time. He just watched the whole thing with a straight face, pretending to get into it because clearly she was more than a fan. Her favorite actor apparently was Jack Nicholson because aside from being 'sexy', he 'just didn't give a fuck'.

Alfred had attempted (key word) to join them in the den since it was an old movie he was familiar with, but Mindy was just so irritating with the commentary he didn't know how Bruce was standing it. The boy had it bad for the raven-haired pipsqueak, and publicity-wise this was probably the best thing for him. Date the rockstar; convert the high-flying feline into a worthy apprentice or even possibly a sidekick. Sometimes he couldn't bail himself out of everything, and her abilities were of most use to anyone who got caught in a tight spot. With Minx removed from the Joker's side no he wouldn't be any less unstoppable, but mentally it'd do things to him to have his own secret weapon turned. Bruce was pretty sure there was no romantic involvement between Minx and the Joker, but Alfred wasn't at all convinced. He did like her though, he liked her a hell of a lot if she'd only get her head down to earth where it belonged. Bruce wanted to take Mindy somewhere; take her to India, Bhutan, or Nepal as he was taught and train her. The foundation was just perfect and they COULD make a little vacation out of it if she was that desperate. Maybe he wouldn't turn her into a ninja since she was so feminine, but her power could be turned into something so great the Joker wouldn't stand a snowball's chance in hell.

* * *

_With thee conversing I forget all time:_  
_All seasons and their change, all please alike._

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	44. Chapter 44: Nepal

**A/N: Thank you! :)**

"So wait…" Mindy yawned from her spot on Bruce's lap in his private jet a few days later, "I was not aware that training meant flying to location."

"Stop" waving her off he kissed her nose and rubbed her shoulders as they sat together in the tan leather lounge chair, "I think you're gonna like it."

"Why?" she wrinkled her nose and yawned once again, "Fuckin' long-ass shit, where are we going?"

…

"NEPAL?" Mindy's eyes widened as the VIP's stepped off the private jet so it could refuel. Her jaw practically hit the floor she was so pissed off and Bruce just chuckled from behind her.

"Yes, my dear…" sighing he took her hand and kissed it, "and you are standing right in the capital city of Kathmandu."

"What the fuck is THIS?" shaking her head she pouted her lips and narrowed her eyes at the oriental buildings and hundreds of thousands of people wandering around, "China?"

"Nepal" with a kiss to the temple he corrected kindly, "We're in Nepal."

Still she wasn't impressed, "Looks like fuckin' China to me."

"What's wrong with China?" he frowned and swept her hair behind her, "I thought you LOVED Chinese food…?"

"Babe, this looks like India…" swallowing hard she shook her head.

People dressed in sari's and god knew what else bustled everywhere without much regard and though Bruce should have had a fleet of bodyguards surrounding pop princess Mindy Stratus, he figured he was better than any fleet god forbid he did need to raise a fist. No one knew who he was in Nepal.

"It's not" he shook his head reassuringly even though she was still horrified of the incredibly poor country, "and this isn't our final stop either…we had to stop in the capital to refuel the engine."

"Then where are we REALLY going?" Mindy stuck her shoulder up and slid past a beggar because she hated beggars.

"Well…" smiling fondly with her hand held tight in his he fearlessly guided her through the airport and towards the outside streets. All their luggage was still on the jet because they weren't going anywhere without them. "First we land in Tumlingtar since that's the closest any plane can get…"

"Mhmmm…?" she was hoping for a hotel or resort.

"Though no one's truly allowed real estate in the Barun Valley since it's sacred, I pulled a few strings a while back and have a fine little place for us"

"Why is it sacred?" she frowned and nervously clung to him as they approached the outside, "And why the FUCK are we goin' outside, Bonehead? I look like SHIT."

She wore a hot pink Juicy Couture tracksuit as of old with her unstraightened frizzy raven hair in a low braid so she wouldn't scare children along with next to no makeup on her face and purple Ugg slip-ons.

"Why do YOU care, brat?" he teased with a wry grin since he wore dress pants and a dark green form-fitting long-sleeved shirt, "It's a third-world country."

"WHOA!" leaping about two feet back, Mindy hid behind Bruce as a piece of roasted corn was shoved her way by a Nepali street vendor, "FUCK! What does he want?"

The vendor yelled something at her and though it wasn't an angry yell, she squealed in fear while hiding behind Bruce, who knew fully well what he was saying and actually spoke in Nepali back to the vendor and kindly dismissed him away. Mindy was left stunned.

"You speak Chinese?"

"Nepali" he corrected with a push to her nose, "And he wanted to sell you roasted corn."

…

"All this bashing I think you'd fit in here quite nice…" Bruce held the door open for Mindy as they entered Himalayan Blue; probably the finest dining in the entire country and Mindy looked like a turned-over trashbag by her standards, "considering this part of the world is overrun by midgets."

"Kiss my FUCKING ass in D-minor" she snapped with narrowed eyes because he was right. She was on the taller end of people in this country, and considering she stood at a towering four-ten, things were really downsized and Bruce was a giant.

…

"These look like sugar cubes…" Mindy poked her fork into the plate of Tawa Murgh amusedly before lifting her eyes and smiling at Bruce, "but they are actually cube-y chickens!"

Her dish was chicken cubes cooked with onion, capsicum, and exotic Indian herbs with some form of fried rice sitting next to her with little vegetables sticking out of it. Lucky for her Bruce, unlike a certain pain in the ass she lived with, ate literally anything. Whenever they went to a restaurant he always knew what to order and wasn't shy to do anything but drink, which made her feel like hell for drinking when he didn't so she stopped. Instead she had a Pink Strawberry ice cream soda. Bruce on the other hand was much more adventurous Murgh Makhanwala, shredded tandoori chicken cooked in red gravy with prawn fried rice and what was literally listed on the menu as 'H2O' and made Mindy almost piss herself she laughed so hard. His eyes were fixed on that ice cream soda Mindy happily was downing though, so with a giggle she turned the straw towards him and he immediately jumped over the table to drink some. In return since he just looked so sweet sipping on her straw she leaned over the table and held her hair out of the way so it didn't fall into her plate before licking up his neck and kissing his forehead.

"I love you…" she giggled into his ear while snuggling his neck, "Batman too."

Looking up from the drink, Bruce smiled thinly and nodded once at her, "Funny you say that…" now she was highly interested, but continued eating her dinner, "did I ever tell you how Batman got his start?"

Immediately Mindy shook her head and that gave Bruce the drive to continue while making eye contact.

"Well…" he snorted, "I left Princeton and fell off the face of the earth travelling the world learning the ways of the criminal underworld…" he tilted his head and frowned, "yet when mixed in with all that mess I found myself becoming a criminal of my own right and wound up arrested in Bhutan, thrown into prison."

"Bhutan?" her lips pouted and he nodded.

"Next door neighbors to Nepal" he gave her a wink and she smiled.

"You little shit…"

"I was…" curling his lips he tried once more while holding her hand, "found in prison by a man by the name of Henri Ducard, who spoke for Ra's al Ghul…leader of the League of Shadows…"

"That is a terrorist group" she nodded wisely and he smiled softly before nodding.

"Didn't know it at the time, I was completely lost in my own darkness"

"When you think about it though…" curling her lips she frowned and shook her head, "He is a bit like the Joker in that he has a very viable philosophy on life and is not actually a 'bad' dude…"

"What do you know?" he asked plainly and Mindy shrugged.

"What is Ra's but an immortal?" she shrugged and squeezed his hand in hers, "He is not after anything…no revenge, no nothing…all he wants to do, like the Joker, is kinda 'cleanse' the world, if ya follow me…?"

"Following…"

"Ra's wanted to HEAL the world…though his means were very draconian"

"And the Joker…?" one of his eyebrows rose curiously and she snickered.

"If they run outta bacon at the diner he will burn the place down."

"So you know Ra's trained me…?"

"Like a ninja?" she asked hopefully and he nodded while kissing her fingers.

"Exactly like a ninja…and as he trained me I will train you…only not to kill. He, too, tried to make me take a life of a criminal"

"And you said…?"

"I said the man should be tried."

"Oh" she wasn't expecting anything different from him, "and how did he take that?"

"Wasn't too happy" he shrugged, "I had to burn the place down or he'd have killed me."

"Him and his gang of evil ninjas?"

"I don't know how you know all this…"

"Well…" curling her lips in she shrugged, "Crane knew…which leads to the Joker knowing…and he DOES tell me everything so I did know Ra's better than most, though never personally obvi cuz he's dead."

"I respect him as my teacher…" he slid his glass of water around the tablecloth nervously so she covered a hand over his to make him stop, "as a man he disgusted me"

"Did you think that before or after he died?"

"I let him die…" he told her hoarsely with a weak nod, "and I don't regret doing so."

"He has a daughter…" she warned him gravely before leaning to kiss him, "and she don't like you too much."

"Really?" his lips pouted with great interest, "and you tell me this out of the goodness of your own heart…?"

Staring at him in bewilderment that he was implying distrust she narrowed her eyes and scowled before hissing, "I tell you as someone who LOVES you…and WORRIES about you…even Batman needs a mother hen."

"I don't think you realize how incredibly hard it is to trust someone who freely tried to sabotage your life"

"Oh, but you can toy with me and fuck me just fine" she nodded with wide eyes and slapped the table for a second, "that's no problem for you, now is it?"

He didn't answer quick enough for her, but he did open his mouth to reply.

"You know you're the second man I have EVER touched in my entire life…and the first was my husband. I do not just 'do' things with people, alright? I have been with you because I love you…you and your four thousand personalities. My husband has not even been a thought since you and I left for this place. I love you…I WANT to be with you…I would die for you…" swallowing hard she kept her icy gaze locked onto his hazel one, "and I need you to help me move on with my life" her eyes clouded and she trembled, "so we can be together forever."

"Ssshh no no no no…" shaking his head as she started to cry, Bruce leaned over the table and pressed his lips to hers, actually standing up from his chair and walking to her side of the table to lift her off her chair, "come here…"

She allowed him to pick her up and sit her in his lap in what once was her chair, speaking directly into her ear while petting her hair and kissing her earlobe.

"I feel no different than you do" he said in the gentlest most soothing whisper, "you have me on a ball and chain" she had to force a smile at that and so did he, "and I want us to be together…I love you, I love the kids…" turning her chin to face him they kissed, "I want to be a family."

"You cannot get married though…" her lips pouted worriedly before shaking her head, "I will live with you until the end of time, but I will not have a baby with you unless we are married and I need you to know that."

"I respect you for that…" he nodded and they kissed, "but until that bridge arises for us to cross we'll just live in sin."

…

Stunning contrasts of high waterfalls cascading into deep gorges, craggy rocks rising from lush green forests, and colorful flowers blooming below snow-capped peaks decorated the Barun Valley in the Koshi region of Nepal, and Mindy almost cried as Bruce led her and their luggage on a quad through the absolutely gorgeous and uninhabited valley protected by Makalu Barun National Park. All different sorts of crazy animals and flowers scampered about and her breath was still stolen that there was not a single person in sight. She hated neighbors, this was ideal.

"There's home for us" Bruce said with a jerk of the head up hill since they were riding on the quad and it was hard to hear much, but the moment Mindy lifted her eyes she wanted to call Alfred and tell him to bring the kids there permanently and screw any military training.

A twenty-one-thousand-four-hundred-square-foot home made entirely of wood, glass, and stone overlooked the entire valley…she didn't even want to know what kind of strings Bruce had to pull in order to build there.

"Jesus, son of a Christ!" what else could anyone really say?

…

Inside the ten-bedroom home, windows framed mountain views from both living areas and private spaces of the contemporary mansion Bruce revealed to her cost him forty-three million dollars to build. The magnificently decorated home also sported a wine cellar, elevator, and movie theater.

Since Bruce was playing porter, Mindy gallivanted about like a kid on sugar-high before finally stumbling across the master bedroom and squealing before pouncing on the bed and jumping around in a circle.

"How do ya even POWER this place, darling it's BEAUTIFUL!" leaning all the way forwards as Bruce placed her luggage on a cream-colored chase which sat in front of a massive display of windows (the entire house was covered in windows since there were no people allowed to be seen by), Mindy giggled and happily let him kiss up her neck before bumping his nose against hers and grinning.

"It's solar-powered" he nodded fondly until they kissed again, "There were an assload of regulations regarding me getting granted permission to build a home on sacred ground."

"Such as…?" waving a hand theatrically as he unweaved her braid Mindy giggled and started gently sucking on his neck to work the shirt over his head.

"My company promises wildlife research and efforts to increase conservation and preservation of all wildlife in the valley"

"What a nice boy…" she touched his cheek while smiling dreamily as he ran his fingers through her tangled wavy hair and unzipped her jacket so her chest was nearly exposed except for the Victoria's Secret leopard print bombshell bra she had on…though that came off right away as well so he could slowly kiss her breasts.

"I know…" panting he paused to barely lift his head from her breasts as she ran her fingers through his soft straight hair which lightly hung in his eyes, "how you love animals" kissing the valley between her breasts he pulled off his own shirt for her so she could begin lightly raking her claws down his back, "so if you do well during training I'll show you a couple of places"

"Why do we have to TRAIN?" she whined before unbuttoning his pants and simply opening them up so she could see the evidence of his arousal and gasp while kissing his temple so she could just breathe with her mouth open in awe, "Bruce…"

Pulling his mouth up reluctantly he kissed her hard on the lips before pulling her pants and panties off her skin, making him eye-level with her hips. With an exhale he rested his head to the side against the apex of her thighs before frowning, "I'm training you to save your life…I love you to death, Miranda Marie."

"And I love you too…" moaning at the knowledge that his mouth was so close to where she wanted it to be, Mindy opened her legs a little more than shoulder-length apart and sighed as his fingers danced up a thigh before kissing his way down near his fingers and taking over with his tongue. Throwing her head back she moaned loudly and wove a hand into his hair once he turned the gentle kissing into long strokes of the tongue and she whimpered, digging her nails on the hand that wasn't in his hair into his shoulders until he got her off and on her knees as he slowly crawled on top of the high-rise bed. Patiently he propped on his elbows and lay back to let Mindy's tiny fingers trickle over his manhood before closing the fingers around him and assisting slowly with her mouth.

Haggard his breathing became, curling his fingers into her hair and watching; a sight both beautiful and painful. Most normal women found performing oral to be degrading, but clearly (at least as far as he was concerned) those boundaries didn't cross Mindy. Once her tongue glided along the underside of his member he was more than ready to completely unhinge inside her mouth, and he did.

"Miranda…" breathing with his mouth wide open, Bruce happily bucked his hips into her mouth and enjoyed how she swallowed every last bit of it, "I love you…" bringing her head to his they kissed deeply, "will you let me show you?"

"Fuck, Bruce" crawling further on top of him she opened her legs right over his waist, so he flipped them over and began to probe against her wet core with his fingers, immediately setting her off, "Mmmmm baby…" swallowing hard she never wanted his fingers to move anywhere but where they were, especially once three of his long fingers fingered her harder, causing her to cry out happily and begin rocking against him, which his tongue replaced. "Bruce…" curling her lips she brought his head back to kiss him, and he slowly slid himself inside her.

With every loving thrust as he completely sent her into another dimension and all she could do was cry to herself because he was so beautiful.

"Bruce…!" moaning happily and spreading her legs wider she watched him slowly and happily push inside her, her head went back and she moaned contentedly as he thrust her deeper into the bed and clenched his teeth at how tight she was. "Mmmm" wrapping her arms under his she moaned happily, "harder…harder Bruce" she whispered and he did as she asked, making her mewl and grind into him as best as she could.

Nearly driving her through the mattress she happily returned pressure and they both screamed the other's name upon climax.

"I love you…" pushing hair out of Bruce's face as his sweat-beaded body nearly collapsed onto hers, Mindy grinned and kissed him hard on the mouth.

"I love you…" he nodded weakly before frowning, "no matter how training goes tomorrow."

Mindy let that fragile moment last twenty seconds before begging him to fuck her again.


	45. Chapter 45: Fight Her

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"I guess you know about my Daddy…" Amber said from her spot on one of the kitchen counters doing homework while Alfred prepared supper for them. Chelsea was dipping fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies in hot fudge before eating them calmly and the twins were in their room with Oxa. The rest of the cats had to be god knew where.

"Whatever do you mean?" Alfred's voice softened kindly as he continued making a beef brisket for them, "Your mother says he passed away."

"She's protecting him" Amber shook her head while coloring in a map of Mesopotamia, "he's the Joker." Since she knew he wouldn't tell already she was drumming up excuses to lessen his reaction, "They've been together since they were five…they got married at eighteen…and they are still married now. He wasn't always creepy no, Alfred Daddy was so handsome. And I'm not allowed to talk about him, but I want to."

"You've met him?" quitting with dinner for a moment, Alfred seemed genuinely concerned while approaching the six-year-old, "You know him personally…?"

"Yes" Amber nodded before running her fingers through the loosely curled locks on Chelsea's head, "He's sick in the head, but he loves us now…he loves Mommy the most but she hates him right now."

"Well do correct me if I'm wrong…" his eyebrows rose pointedly, "but did he not attempt to murder your mother?"

"No" immediately the kid shook her head, "He knew Batman would save her…Mommy knew Bruce was Batman and thought he would make the wrong choice, but he made the Batman choice and it really was the wrong choice because he saved the bad guy not knowing it was Mommy anyway. So that means Batman would let Mommy die…" her eyes clouded and she shook her head at him, "do you have any idea how SCARY that is?"

"Amber Rose…" frowning he ran a hand through her long blonde hair, "I've known Batman all his life…he would never allow your mother to die"

"He sure did the other night" Amber's eyes widened nastily, "what if Mommy wasn't Minx?"

…

Thorn and Scarlett were attempting to teach Oxa how to play Twister in their bedroom.

"Left paw red!" Thorn shouted impatiently but Oxa just sat there staring at her, "LEFT PAW RED!"

"Maybe she's DEAF?" Scarlett frowned when Thorn's cell phone rang and she scrambled towards it, "Oooo! I got it, I got it, I got it!"

"NO! IDIOT!" Thorn lunged after her and growled, "That's MY phone! I GOT IT!"

"What if it's MOMMY?" Scarlett snagged the phone out of the charger and rolled across the high bed so Thorn had to jump to get at her.

"And she's calling MY PHONE so she wants ME!"

"NUH UH!"

"YEAH HUH!"

"NUH UH!" Scarlett stuck her tongue out before happily answering the phone and kicking Thorn in the gut once her twin tried to crawl to her.

"Where the hell is Mommy?"

Both girls went quiet before giggling loudly and bouncing on the bed, "DADDY! DADDY! DADDY DADDY DADDY HI HI HI!"

"Where ARE you, Daddy? We miss you!" Scarlett frowned when Thorn chimed right in.

"We're in WAYNE MANOR!" she nodded as if she deserved a treat for delivering that information, but Scarlett shoved her away by her face.

"And where did Mommy run off to?" that seemed to be the only thing he cared about, "The bitch hasn't said a WORD to me in two weeks."

"She's not here!" Scarlett shook her head curtly, "She went away with Bruce for a very long time she says she won't make our birthdays."

"I will" was all the Joker said before hanging up.

…

"And what does your aunt know of all this…?" Alfred asked Amber as she still continued with her homework and the child shrugged.

"Less than anybody, I guess. She's a cop Mommy don't tell her shit."

…

Tryg sat on a deck chair on Mindy's penthouse balcony eating an ice cream sandwich at two in the morning while the Joker paced about smoking his third pack of cigarettes.

"Those are bad for you, Daddy" Tryg frowned while watching the Joker just down cigarette after cigarette before pitching them over the railing and onto traffic below.

"I don't care" he coughed and cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair while slamming a hand to the railing rhythmically.

Watching his father throw a most unique temper tantrum before his eyes, Tryg had no choice but to say, "You know Mommy hates when you smoke."

"Then…" smiling sarcastically he let out a choked laugh before coughing from the cigarette smoke, breathing heavy with haggard breaths while shaking his head and staring directly into Trygger's eyes, "Why don't ya tell her to come DO something about it!"

Tryg could only drop his eyes because the look the Joker wore was so frighteningly distraught he could only laugh the pain away.

"Shoulda listened to me…" that rasped Australian accent of his father told him inside his mind, "women are cunts only good for one thing."

"Not there not there not there not there" squeezing his eyes shut and growling at the figure Tryg couldn't see, the Joker grabbed his son and growled on his way back into the house.

"I think you miss Mommy" Tryg nodded and didn't catch the sour look on the Joker's face before dropping Tryg and shoving him away.

"CALL HER…" his voice disappeared and cracked for a moment before regaining itself in the darkness, "and tell her I love her."

…

The lights flipped on in Bruce and Mindy's bedroom though only one figure was in the bed all curled up in a little ball, "Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty!"

Mindy groaned something unintelligible in her sleep and curled into a ball. The sun hadn't even broken the sky and he was waking her up? Fuck that. Fuck that shit hard.

"Come on, darling look I've already made you a protein shake"

Opening her eyes in astonishment that her pills weren't going to be force-fed to her in a strawberry milkshake Mindy clearly looked like she didn't want to touch the glass Bruce was holding up for her. As it was, he himself simply looked phenomenal in his plain dark loose attire he wore while being trained by Ra's…and he had the black warm robe for her too because she was going to need it.

"Go awayyyy…" she grunted and buried her face in the pillow, so Bruce flipped it off her and she shivered.

…

Into the highest snow-packed peaks Bruce took her wearing a completely insulated black leather catsuit. Not a drop of skin other than her face was out, and she wore heavy gloves with holes at the fingertips so her claws could lash out if need be. They spent days trekking out into the snow, stopping to 'set up camp' (which she despised) and build their own fires to stay warm.

Naturally she didn't do jack and he did everything, but he wanted her to live the lifestyle he did even for a short time. Her training wouldn't be nearly what his was. He'd been missing for ten years; meanwhile they made a public announcement of an extended vacation in Nepal. The 'extended' vacation Mindy even knew was no vacation, and she'd let her children know it as well. She didn't know when she was going to be back, but this was necessary. Bruce was more than willing to train her to be the most kickass partner on the planet, but sacrifice was required. They had a father who should have been caring for them anyway to take the burden off Alfred even for a time.

…

"Your mother haunts you, but she shouldn't" Bruce shook his head as they stood across from one another holding what looked to Mindy to be just plain old kendo sticks (he was starting light), "I was taught to confront my guilt and anger instead of burying myself alive and letting it haunt me."

"Your parents at least got KILLED" her nose and ears were more than red as they stood on pure snow confronting the other, "I killed my mother! JACK killed my father and I do not care!"

"Clearly you do if you see her throughout your schizophrenic episodes…" eyeballing her for a moment Bruce swept the stick at her and she screamed, trying to run away when he seriously did hit her in the back and she went down, "Confront your feelings, don't run from them."

"But I CAN'T!" she whined and winced on the freezing snow while trying to push up to her hands but BAM!

"Your enemies won't wait for you to make excuses" shaking his head he stepped on her back and she cried loudly, "and neither will I as your partner. I give you an order, you comply without questioning me."

"Don't…" barring her teeth she flailed around to regain footing but he pulled her stick out of her hand and kicked her in the ribs to make her even angrier, "you fucking hit me!"

"Ninety-nine percent of our enemies will be male" pulling her up by her hair he slammed her back down and she whimpered like a baby, "They don't give a good damn what your sex is, they'll come after you."

Coughing and shivering violently from the cold, she kept trying to get up but he kept knocking her down over and over and over again. She cried, she screamed, slashed at the air…nothing really was preparing her for this. He'd come at her so fiercely she was stuck.

"OW!" she screamed and flailed for him to finally let her get up, "OW! OW! OW! BRUCE!"

"Every time you complain you let her win!" he shouted at her and she screamed, holding her temples and sobbing loudly in denial, "She's watching you right now, Miranda! She SEES your struggle, your guilt, your fear…she lives and breathes it, darling! She LIVES through YOU and ONLY YOU! ONLY YOU CAN FORCE HER OUT!"

"NOOO!" she shrieked and shook her head, "GO AWAY! GO AWAY! GO AWAY!"

The blonde, middle aged eyeless woman stood in the opened pink bathrobe and long loose nightgown with a pair of scissors loosely dangling in her hand just staring at Mindy from across the ice, and the young woman flipped over and cried; backpedalling though Bruce was right in her face.

"She lives through YOU, Miranda! Your FEAR! She IS your fear! Eliminate it, Miranda! Let others bask in your dread get rid of her! You make her your greatest weapon! You make others fear you through her, Miranda! Fight her for Christ's sake! FIGHT HER!"

"GO AWAY!" clearly she was screaming at her mother and not Bruce, "GO AWAY! AWAY! I HATE YOU!"

"MAKE her leave, Miranda…" Bruce nodded eagerly as Miranda stared down the woman in the pink robe, dodging a blow Bruce sent her and flying about seven feet into the air. With a feline snarl she landed on all fours and dropped her jaw to hiss ferally. She clearly wasn't fucking around.

"Go away…" again Mindy growled when Bruce rose the stick over his head, which was enough to make her roll away and flip onto her back so she could scoot away in the snow as he trekked closer with the stick ready to swing.

"You have resources…" Bruce prompted her regarding the snow around her, which with a heavy pant she immediately caught on.

"ARGH!" one swipe with those giant claws kicked up enough snow to temporarily blind him, so she slid between his legs and pulled the stick from his hands while standing once again, screaming in victory at the hallucination and throwing her arms out as a defense mechanism to roar like a tigress at her 'defeated' illusion of her mother.

…

"I'm proud of you" Bruce said as he lay over Mindy in his real bed several days later after trekking down the mountains.

He'd forced her to help herself down the mountain in order to increase endurance, and she sniffled before keeping her head rested on his forearm and the eucalyptus heating pads. Being a criminal Mindy knew damn well what hemp was, so there was a minor case of the fifteen-year-old giggles on her part.

They had come to face a snow leopard and her cubs on the way down, to which Mindy responded with a few low feline hums and the mother allowed the two cubs to sprint right into her arms, Bruce though took a step back as the snow leopard mother butted heads with Mindy as if finding a long lost comrade and they purred simultaneously. For someone so dangerous, Mindy withheld a beauty even the most unstable creatures could sense. Every moment Bruce looked her way, he found himself entranced; deeper and deeper rooting the aesthetic into his broken heart.

"Oh?" her eyebrows rose amusedly and she nodded along, "And is THAT why we stopped production with the uhh…" she cringed, "training?"

"You wish" smirking as she leaned up to kiss him, his gentle fingers combed her hair and they made out for a few tender moments, "I would have still been camping up there with you if not for your housecat ideals to constantly be indoors."

"Oh kiss my fucking ass in D-minor, schmuck" shaking her head she lightly whacked his jaw and they kissed, "Hate you so much."

"What your mother did to you…" pouting his lips at her angelic face just staring up at him like that he shook his head, "it was no fault of your own, alright? You're NOT a monster, you're not a demon or born of a Jackal…"

"Then what am I?" she asked coldly and the very fact that she asked that made his eyes red, though nothing further. Before responding he pet her face gently and leaned forwards to kiss her as hard as he could on the lips.

"When I'm not with you, I want to tear my face off my skull"

"Bonehead!" she gasped with a shake of the head before he realized that she'd taken him literally and he smirked before kissing her harder.

"By that I mean you're the funniest person I've ever met;" his eyebrows rose, "and I've met everyone else."

"_I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me_" she hoarsely began to sing with a giggle while kissing him softly, "_Papa, paparazzi. Baby, there's no other superstar, you know that I'll be"_ he snorted and just took the time to stare at her in adulation, "_Your papa, paparazzi. Promise I'll be kind" _

"I love you"

"_But I won't stop until that boy is mine_" licking his lips she leaned in and planted a big old kiss on him, "_Baby, you'll be famous, chase you down until you love me. Papa, paparazzi."_

…

Holding hands, Bruce and Mindy moved about the Barun Valley forests hand-in-hand when the inevitable caught her eye. Thousands of trees with the most magnificent red flowers stood by themselves and she was just starstruck.

"Rhododendron's" he smiled fondly while leaning to softly whisper into her ear, "you like them?"

"They're…" her eyes watered and her plumped lips trembled violently, "so unbelievably beautiful"

"I'll buy you a botanical garden of them if you so gave me the order" he nodded while holding her in a hug from behind when a particular one caught his eye, "See that one over there?"

Wrinkling her nose she nodded while staring at the closed-up flower and reached back to touch the smooth skin on his face, "It's all closed-up"

"When it blooms" nodding he kissed her temple and hugged her under an arm, "It'll put all the other ones to shame."

"Why?" she asked as a plain sigh before he leaned over and covered her lips with his.

"Otherwise I wouldn't pick it for you"

"But it is HIGH!" her finger went up and she frowned, "I can fly to it if I wanted"

"And I'll climb to get it anyway" hugging her tight under an arm he kissed her temple and her body turned so her head could just bury in his torso and stay there, shivering violently before concluding.

"There is no way in hell I ever will deserve you."

"Nonsense" he waved her off, "I saw you first."

…

"I wish I could help you, Daddy" Amber sighed from her spot seated on one of the sinks in the girl's bathroom at her school with a clearly agitated Joker in full makeup standing in front of her, "But Batman's got her and there isn't a chance in hell he's gonna roll over and give her back."

Licking his lips at information he obviously didn't want to hear, the Joker nodded along before running a hand through his hair and swallowing hard, "Why?"

Amber appeared to be weirded out by that statement only for a moment, "Because he loves her…?"

"Oh, and I don't!"' his head shook sarcastically with a lick of his lips before shrugging, "Thirty years of my life dedicated to that-"

"Daddy, you're twenty-nine"

"What?" he barked at her when she shrugged and shook her head innocently, so he continued rambling, "Where is she, Amber Rose…WHERE" he waved a hand and stared off to the side before biting his own tongue and shivering involuntarily, "IS she, Amber Rose? TELL ME where she is"

"I have no IDEA where she is, Daddy" Amber shrugged and shook her head, "You're really upset about this, aren't you…?"

Again he said nothing, which at this point Amber could chop up and decipher that her father was so passionately in love all he breathed was her mother. The makeup on his face was twice more smeared than usual, not even applied right anymore…that or he'd been crying. Knowing him he wouldn't shed a damn tear though, so it wasn't that, but the fact that he'd visibly lost weight, coughed and smoked constantly, and began drinking more freely let her know he was nulling a pain so immense it made HER cry just thinking about it. If only Mindy knew what her absence was doing to him…yet that was the entire issue to begin with. No communication on his part was ever made to declare this unclear drive kickstarting his fucked-up mind and body. Love wasn't an emotion, it was an abstract concept he could grasp and twist it into whatever he wanted.

Psychopathy is characterized by diagnostic features such as superficial charm, high intelligence, poor judgment and failure to learn from experience, pathological egocentricity and incapacity for love, lack of remorse or shame, impulsivity, grandiose sense of self-worth, pathological lying, manipulative behavior, poor self-control, promiscuous sexual behavior, juvenile delinquency, and criminal versatility among others. As consequence, the psychopath has the image of a cold, heartless, inhuman being. But do they all show a complete lack of normal emotional capacities and empathy?

He loved his spouse, children and pets in his own way, but had difficulty loving and trusting the rest of the world. He suffered emotionally as a consequence of separation, fear of divorce, death of a beloved person or dissatisfaction with his own deviant behavior. Unfortunately he did suffer emotional pain for a variety of reasons.

Like anyone else, psychopaths have a deep wish to be loved and cared for. This desire remains frequently unfulfilled, however, as it is obviously not easy for another person to get close to someone with such repellent personality characteristics. Yet Mindy filled that all because she was so fucking insane for him no matter what he did. As Jeffrey Dahmer and Dennis Nilson expressed, violent psychopaths ultimately reach a point of no return, where they feel they have cut through the last thin connection with the normal world. Subsequently their sadness and suffering increase and their crimes become more and more bizarre.

Dahmer and Nilsen killed simply for company. Both men had no friends and their only social contacts were occasional encounters in homosexual bars. Nilsen watched television and talked for hours with the dead bodies of his victims; Dahmer consumed parts of his victims' bodies in order to become one with them: he believed that in this way his victims lived further in his body.

Conclusively, this particular specimen in white, red, and black 'war paint' was so madly in love with his wife no one could fairly even begin to sympathize just how much he needed the volatile feline.


	46. Chapter 46: Extraterrestrial

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"Swords?" Mindy giggled from her spot standing across from Bruce in the same ice-capped mountains they'd sparred at and camped in the first time.

They'd taken a few weeks off to let her body recuperate from his surprise attack, and now it was time to pick training back up seriously because he was just so damn proud of her little progress thus far. Her emotional commitment to him was clearly the driving force through this entire thing, but that was what he wanted. Her heart's commitment to the cause was what he needed, even if it was only conditional because he was the reward at the end of it all. With her more on the end of running things, they'd made love more than he could ever call to memory in their few months here thus far.

"Swords" he nodded and unsheathed his, "Only I won't actually stab you with this"

"And I will try not to stab you too" she nodded with a poke of her tongue between her teeth, her lengthy raven hair straightened and falling in her face. He'd already given her shit about straightening her hair when it was only him, but she didn't care. The hair was a nest, it needed flat-ironing.

"Now that we understand each other" nodding he swung the sword around and tried to make it a tad slow so she could block the parry, and up her sword went to keep his from crashing down on her, "Good girl!"

She nodded once and swung the sword around in her hand before going at him once more, growling and getting shoved backwards every two seconds onto her ass, "FUCK!"

"Stop" he warned with a point of his fingers towards the mountains and she frowned, "Idiots like you cause avalanches."

"Will we die?" she frowned when he continued swinging the sword around and swung at her.

"In an avalanche?" he raised an eyebrow, "Yeah…you'll die in an avalanche up here"

"Okie dokie" she nodded when he caught her being lazy and went for her feet, which she effortlessly tuck-jumped to avoid it and he was impressed, he never taught her that.

"Good girl" they kissed again and he pushed her back before wielding the sword more.

…

"You disappear…" Mindy marveled as they headed through a meadow some weeks later, and upon looking to him for confirmation he was gone, something which made her stamp her foot and whine, "Bonehead!"

Nothing but the sounds of all sorts of crazy birds flying around them and water rushing accompanied her…WHAM! Out of the ground he rose and tore her to his level, lying over her and kissing her until he felt her getting ready to be made love to so he had to stop.

"I promise we'll get to that later" he nodded and they kissed harder, "for now focus on my disappearing act and you'll nail it too."

"And how do you say I accomplish this?"

"First of all…" narrowing his eyes he pointed her way before sitting up, "keep quiet."

"I'm quiet!" she shouted at him and a bunch of birds flew around from fright, further making him point her way and shake his head.

…

"Patience" Bruce blocked Mindy's parry atop an ice capped mountain once more several weeks later and ripped the sword from her hand, "and agility define invisibility"

Mindy gasped and actually flipped backwards into a Matrix-like bridge to duck one of his blows before kicking her feet backwards and doing a back-walkover onto her feet once more.

"You do everything heavy-handed" he nodded before throwing his own sword aside and coming her way, "If you learn to shut up you'll be amazed how well you can blend"

"But obnoxiousness is part a' my arsenal" she nodded innocently when he shook his head slowly, his breath hanging in the air.

"Not anymore."

…

"Forearm, let's go!" Bruce waved her on and Mindy charged forwards to grab his forearm and lock it against her side as told, and smash her own forearm into his face as hard as she could since he really wasn't holding any bars against her.

They stood in a barren dirt plateau in the valley in the morning, Mindy's straightened hair pulled way back in the highest, tightest ponytail she could manage.

Shoving Mindy back, Bruce charged before the tiny young woman launched herself forwards, knocking him to the ground so she sat straddled over his chest pinning his back to the ground, trapped in a body scissors. Her teeth barred and she growled ferally at him signaling the victory, so leaning up using his abdominals he captured her lips in a kiss and pulled her hair out of the ponytail.

…

Bruce caught Mindy's leg as she tried to kick him on the mountaintop, giving her a stern victorious glare when she scowled, lifted her other leg which had her grounded, and kicked him square in the side of the head before corkscrewing onto the ground and growling. She scrambled into a defensive ground stance and hissed.

…

"Put it here…" in the shower several days later Bruce sat on a bench and patted his bare thigh for Mindy to just simply show him her leg.

While flipping her mess of raven over her head she did, something which made his blood rush because he'd never noticed JUST how jacked up her legs were. Each individual leg was a tree trunk.

"Miranda…!" reaching down his hands trailed over the incredibly sculpted muscles and his jaw had to drop, "I had no idea…"

"I'm a dancer and an equestrian" she nodded plainly before stepping closer to his body and smiling weakly, "I do 'work out' without knowing I am doing so."

"Your legs are just incredible…" he wasn't being creepy or perverted, he meant every word. There were no words to describe just how powerful those legs were and what they could be capable of doing.

"Coming from friggin' Batman over here" holding his shoulders as he felt up her legs she rolled her eyes and kissed the top of his head, smoothing the straight dark hair and keeping it out of his eyes even though it looked so beautiful that way.

His features were so opposite Jack's, besides the obvious dark versus blonde hair. Jack had the face of a boy and Bruce far and away more like a man. Bruce though, for some reason was more picturesque, someone too beautiful to really be real yet his muscles had muscles. Jack on the other hand was plainer, more common-looking, and far less muscular if he had any tone at all. Jack was always on the skinny side which was why all their kids were toothpicks. The one thing Jack had which no one could take from him or even come close was the dimpled smile…not even Bruce contended with him on that. Before his cheeks were destroyed Jack had the world's most beautiful smile…and no one could take that from him.

"Forget me" Bruce shook his head and kissed her soft stomach which he was hoping to tone up, "I've had training. I meant on a man or a woman I've never seen legs like yours…look at mine" releasing her leg he stood off the bench to show her his straight, meanwhile she had such hard lines on those legs it was uncanny, "Do you have any idea how much a single kick of yours if delivered properly could do?"

"Can we not talk about it now?" frowning she knelt and ran her fingers up his calves before giggling, "And what is your calf circumference?"

"My what?" he chuckled when one of her hands swept up his inner thigh and the other gently grabbed his butt, looking him in the eye lovingly before taking his length in her mouth. One of his hands slapped to the glass wall and the other tangled in her hair.

Several minutes later he had her flush against the wall with her legs around his waist, only he was so gentle and considerate of her feelings shamefully she cried. Tears came out in wavelengths and unlike Jack who would have scolded her and any other man who would have rolled his eyes, Bruce kissed her tears away and despite being completely saturated, carried her to the bed and resumed their seemingly endless lovemaking. She told him on their first date that she had a laundry list of things she wanted to do to him, and was now taking that opportunity in full stride. The man was truly flawless, so she had to find one and drag it out like his werewolf teeth. At least he wasn't the Joker though…poor bastard had to deal with 'ceiling eyes'.

…

Mindy dropped to one knee and extended her other leg as Bruce charged her way on the mountain top, quickly pivoting her body around with a loud grunt, using her extended leg to knock away his lower legs and he faltered. A single nod was his way of affirming satisfaction before coming at her again.

Staggering backwards at first, Mindy caught her breath and avoided a grab for her arm by leaping up kicking both feet in a pedaling motion, but the second leg fully extended and kicked Bruce right in the mouth for a perfectly nailed bicycle kick. Her legs were built for combat, her arms were alright for what they were needed for, clawing the hell out of anyone and everyone.

…

"Use your strength for more than straight attacks" Bruce nodded as they stood in the barren plateau, and Mindy did so as he'd tried to teach her. She put him in a head scissors take-down which wound up in a double-leg cradle hold and she growled to make him give up, but of course he didn't and sprang her right off him so she landed on her back.

He swung to hit her until she flipped backwards into the bridge position and pushed onto her hands for a grand old handstand, locking his head between her legs in a headscissors and using perpetual motion to swing herself in the air and cleanly rip him off his feet and onto his back, Mindy cleanly tumbling to a finish.

…

Mindy paced about a vast living room at night wearing a skimpy blue nightie and had nothing but shock absorbers on her feet since she commonly danced in bare feet. The lengthy raven hair was down and her face next to bare, blasting a song she artistically and athletically found to be pure perfection to get back into what she was born and bred to do.

For over ten years she had become the most famous entertainer on the planet known for multiple facets including singing, songwriting, piano, harp, guitar, personality…and her dancing. Her unusual way of combining ballet and lyrical with hip-hop and Colombian made her a dangerously sexy and pristine and one-of-a-kind dancer inventing dance moves left and right because she was so tiny yet made of elastic.

A song was playing loud and Bruce walked into the room in his black workpants and nothing else. What made her feel even worse was all these months she'd spent with Bruce and pretending to be honest, Jack was always in the back of her mind she couldn't help it. He was the biggest asshole in the history of assholes…but he was HER bastard. If anyone could govern his actions it was her, and she loved him more than life itself. HE was the love of her life and there wasn't a thing she wouldn't do for him. Once he may have said he'd do the same, but now she thought he'd watch her die. Bruce was her chance to finally move on with her life and let go of the most beautiful liar to grace the face of the earth. Anyone could say whatever they wanted about the Joker (Jack), but when all that makeup washed off minus the scars he was drop dead gorgeous though he'd never believe that. Ugliness was drilled into his head so that was all he saw; one would have thought he fished for compliments but he didn't. He truly believed he was hideous.

"Bonehead c'mere…" extending an arm she waved him over and he seemed reluctant, so she waved him harder and stamped her foot, "Come on! It involves your dick you'll like it!"

"What do I…" observing the way she moved herself so her back was flush against his front he cocked his head, "do?"

"For now?" giggling she moved one of his hands to her lower hip and the other to her waist so she could begin grinding her little body.

_I got a dirty mind__  
__I got filthy ways__  
__I'm tryna Bath my Ape in your Milky Way__  
__I'm a legend, I'm irreverent__  
__I be reverand__  
__I be so fa-a-ar up, we don't give a f-f-f-f-uck__  
__Welcome to the__danger zone__  
__Step into the fantasy__  
__You are not invited to the otherside of sanity__  
__They calling me__an alien__  
__A big__headed__astronaut__  
__Maybe it's because your boy Yeezy get ass a lot_

Poking her tongue between her teeth she reached a hand back and pressed her butt into him hard while pulling his head towards hers so they made eye contact.

_You're so hypnotizing  
Could you be the devil  
Could you be an angel_

_Your touch__magnetizing  
Feels like I am floating  
Leaves my body glowing_

_They say be afraid  
You're not like the__others__  
Futuristic lover  
Different DNA  
They don't understand you_

Her fingers ran through his hair and she smiled under her breath as his hands began to grope her flesh.

_Your from a whole other world__  
__A different dimension__  
__You open my eyes__  
__And I'm ready to go__  
__Lead me into the light_

Tossing her hair back her tongue glided into his mouth roughly and he returned the favor while digging his fingers into her skin as she made teasing motions against his groin.

_Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me  
Infect me with your love and  
Fill me with your poison_

_Take me, ta-ta-take me  
Wanna be a victim  
Ready for abduction_

_Boy, you're an alien  
Your touch so foreign  
It's supernatural  
Extraterrestrial_

Momentarily pulling her mouth from his she sauntered around his lightly sweat-coated body and he gazed hungrily for her to step closer once again.

_Your so supersonic__  
__Wanna feel your powers__  
__Stun me with your lasers__  
__Your kiss is cosmic__  
__Every move is magic_

Her leg lifted around his waist and pressed her hot bare flesh into his groin, slowly rolling her hips as he held her thigh to his side looking the other in the eye.  
_  
__Your from a whole other world__  
__A different dimension__  
__You open my eyes__  
__And I'm ready to go__  
__Lead me into the light_

Her head tossed back to the point that he was trailing fingers down her breasts and kneading them with every pump of her hips. This clearly wasn't dancing anymore.

_Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me  
Infect me with your love and  
Fill me with your poison_

_Take me, ta-ta-take me  
Wanna be a victim  
Ready for abduction_

_Boy, you're an alien  
Your touch so foreign  
It's supernatural  
Extraterrestrial_

She had given up trying to do anything of the dancing nature with him and now they were purely making out. It was good though. Bruce was a rare type of kisser.

_I know a bar out in Mars__  
__Where they driving spaceships instead of cars__  
__Cop a Prada spacesuit about the stars__  
__Getting stupid ass straight out the jar__  
__Pockets on Shrek, Rockets on deck__  
__Tell me what's next, alien sex__  
__I'ma disrobe you, than I'mma probe you__  
__See I abducted you, so I tell ya what to do__  
__I tell ya what to do, what to do, what to do_

She had jumped up and hooked her legs around his waist in the center of the room, working on both gliding her tongue in his mouth with opening his pants. Eventually successful she impaled herself on him hard and things got messy from thereon in.

_Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me  
Infect me with your love and  
Fill me with your poison_

_Take me, ta-ta-take me  
Wanna be a victim  
Ready for abduction_

_Boy, you're an alien  
Your touch so foreign  
It's supernatural  
Extraterrestrial_

_Extraterrestrial  
Extraterrestrial_

She was already going for a second orgasm when he didn't even complete his first.  
_  
__Boy, you're an alien__  
__Your touch so foreign__  
__It's supernatural__  
__Extraterrestrial_

…

"The Matrix thing works" Bruce nodded to Mindy while guiding her body backwards smoother on the mountaintop, "your spine is flexible enough to pull off any type of maneuver so this really shouldn't be too challenging."

"I think I can do it standing up too" Mindy nodded and bent backwards into a standing bridge without using her hands to catch herself and relying only on ab strength to do so, and that highly impressed her mentor.

As Bruce grabbed Mindy around the waist from behind, she locked her legs around his waist and managed to fall into a sitting position, locking one of her arms around his neck before driving him face-first into the ground and she simply landed on her butt right next to him. These little flippy moves were her greatest asset.

To expand on it, she jumped onto his shoulders from behind and fell forwards, only as she did so she hooked her legs under his shoulders so he flew forwards and she ducked so he actually flipped over her and landed on his back. Playfully she punched him in the chest and they kissed.

…

"Cleaner fighting techniques will only help you evade an enemy's strike in the long run" Bruce stopped in front of a stream with her and held a hand over her mouth so she could see a red panda was drinking from the same stream across from them and she smiled fondly, extending a hand with water in it so the little raccoon-like red panda in the forest could drink from her hand.

"What if they reverse my moves?" she frowned when he allowed her to lift the wild animal and walk with it in a baby carry.

"That's why you try not to make your arsenal so predictable…your claws are a gift, add them with your legs appropriately and use the element of surprise attack instead of your blatant charging. Anyone can charge, even I charge at you and look how easily you can evade each and every thing I throw your way."

"So I don't really fight good at all?" she frowned when he kissed the side of her head and watched her nuzzle the red panda.

"You're getting there…"

…

"I would teach you to mind your surroundings as I was…" he nodded while getting her in a headlock on the mountaintop but she managed to fly up in the air with him on her back and with a grunt get him over her head flat on his back, so he flipped back onto his feet and gave her a nod, "but you taught me that yourself on one of our first encounters."

…

"One thing you and I can both agree on" Bruce handed her a mug of hot chocolate he especially made for her as they stepped outside onto the porch wrapped in warm blankets since Mindy was absolutely freezing from being in the mountains yet again as they went on for almost a year, "theatricality and deception are powerful agents of distraction to frighten your opponents"

"As in…?" Mindy frowned and hugged herself in the robe he wore back in his training over eleven or twelve years ago and leaned on a wooden beam outside the house.

"Our costumes, voice dynamics, methods of attack, all of it contribute to our presence and instill fear before we throw our first punch"

"But I don't want to be-WAHHHH!"

Bruce threw down a special powder which made a large CRACK and created a smokescreen in front of them.

"WHOAA!" her eyes widened in the setting sun and she held his arm in fear, "What does THAT do?"

"Nothing" grinning cheekily he leaned in her ear and smirked, "but our opponents won't know that."

"So we just do scary shit 'cuz it's cool?" one of her medium-toned eyebrows rose and he nodded. "See…" curling her lips she frowned, "if that was somethin' of the Joker's it would actually blow up people and the floor cuz he's a pyro."

He stared at her a moment before nodding slowly with raised eyebrows, "…I don't doubt it."

…

"Your anger won't get you anywhere" Bruce shook his head and threw several punches at Mindy on the mountaintop, which she swiftly evaded and used his shoulders as a launching pad to hop over his head and somersault in the air before landing on her feet, "it's your will to ACT" he grunted as she tried to get him from behind, but he shoved her away, "that's everything."

Nodding and bouncing on her toes to come at him again, she jumped onto his shoulders from behind, pulled him into the air with her pretending to actually slash at his face (she'd save that for someone she hated), and with a nasty snarl released him before dropping so she caught him in a headscissors and taking him down.

…

They sat in front of a fire in the snow nearly a year later, Bruce and Mindy, not even bothered so much by the cold anymore but she snuggled under his arm.

"Rage won't heal the scars of time" he told her gently while rubbing her arm with the opposite hand and whispering into her ear, "your parents are dead…they can't hurt you anymore…" he kissed the side of her head and nuzzled her, "nobody can hurt you anymore…you're safe now."

Nodding absently she folded his hand in hers and just stared at the glow of the fire, loving the accent the flames played off Bruce's face and craning her neck to touch their frozen lips together.

"I know you're still bitter from the torture you endured as a child, but if you hold onto it feeling like it was your fault when in reality you had no control over anything at the time, you'll make yourself insane" they kissed again and he rubbed their noses once, "I fell in love with a lost little girl, but I knew she could come back" he nodded with his lips to her temple, "I knew she'd come back. I didn't know you the way you once were"

"You would not want to" her eyes dropped and she shook her head, "I never talked, only for Jack sometimes…nobody knew my name but they knew I was crazy…they knew I was the girl who heard voices and saw things and thought weird stuff but-"

"You're none of those things" he shook his head and they kissed, "I wouldn't ask you to marry me if I thought you were any of the above."

"But you didn't…" she frowned when he pulled the biggest, reddest Rhodendron blossom containing an extremely large diamond-encrusted white-gold ring with none other than a blue diamond in the center which was larger than most of Mindy's fingernails. Her jaw hit the floor so a hand covered her trembling mouth and she cried…louder than she probably ever cried in her entire life.

"I am now…" he gave her a nod and removed his arm from her body so he could drop down on one knee, "Miranda Marie, will you marry me?"

Taking long erratic breaths to get her heart to begin beating once more, Mindy sniffled and cried before nodding and trying to get her teeth to stop chattering.

"Yes" was her forced nod before her arms reached out and wrapped around his neck, "Yes!"

Their lips pressed as he took the ring from the box and slid it onto her left ring finger, now inserting the speech he'd completely forgotten because he was too nervous with the entire proposal.

"I knew earlier than a lot of people would like to think that you were the one…" he nodded with their foreheads clunking against the other and pet her hair to try and make her stop crying, "despite being deceived, stepped on, lied to, and used by Minx I loved Miranda too deeply to not forgive you. You showed me who you really are over the past year and a half we've spent here in Nepal training…and though I wouldn't consider myself a marrying man by any means I can't let you get away. You understand me in ways I couldn't ever dream of as I do you…which was why I knew I could help you. Despite the exterior I know you're a good person, and I know you are above and beyond any man's wildest dreams"

"I'm schizophrenic" she croaked drearily and went to shake her head but he kissed her hard and shook his head.

"I'll take care of you…and Chelsea…and the other little ones, I'll raise them all as my own even if we do have children together"

"I want that" she nodded with a weak smile so he kissed her cheeks and nodded.

"Anything you want, consider it yours."

"What if it is not for sale?" she frowned when he ran his fingers through her hair and shrugged.

"No such thing."

"I want a dolphin…" she whined while shuffling her feet and he grinned.

"I'll buy you Sea World."

"Is Batman allowed to get married?" she frowned when he nodded with pouted lips and kissed her.

"Batman was the one who gave me the balls to finally ask."


	47. Chapter 47: Back to Reality

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"I talked to Mommy" Amber nodded while hugging the Joker's arm after he abducted her from school again for her thousand 'doctor's appointments' which just kept popping up out of nowhere.

The entire two years Mindy had been gone he, aside from asking every living creature where Mindy was and when she was coming home, figured he'd butter her up by trying (key word 'trying') to be a legitimate father. Times were tough with Alfred around and eventually he did return Tryg to Harley so she could hand the boy over to Alfred, but then itched more than ever because not only was there no Kitten…there was also no Batman. Without Batman what the hell was the point of doing anything? There was no one to play with. So what DID the Joker do with his new-found free time? Played with his kids. He liked them, they made him smile. Another irritating element was that he'd been fucking celibate for two years…wasn't so fond of that. He knew she was fucking the hell out of Wayne wherever the hell they were, but decided to be the 'better' of the marriage and use it against her in an argument. Makeup sex was lots of fun sometimes, and there was no way she'd come back from two years and not miss him. Every time he tried to get a hold of her it went straight to her voice mail and he hated being ignored; he hated her. He wanted to kill her.

"What'd she want?" he wrinkled his nose and stared at his now-eight year old daughter, who was giddy as all hell after hearing news from her mother.

"She's coming back!" she beamed while hugging his arm tighter and giggling, "I'm so excited she's coming back, Daddy! And she says she has a surprise for us!"

"Surprise?" he scoffed and snorted, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head, "What could you possibly be…" he waved a hand, "'surprised' with, huh? A new puppy?"

"I don't care" Amber shrugged while pursing her plump lips, "I miss her just as much as you do"

"I don't" he licked his lips and growled, "'miss'-"

"You never stop talking about her"

"Cunt" he snarled, "I ought to fucking kill her."

"You won't…" Amber sighed while squeezing his arm in a hug, "You gotta be a big boy when Mommy comes home and tell her how you feel"

"That's the problem…" he raised a finger didactically and shook his head, "I don't…'feel' anything…"

"Well" she shrugged and nodded, "love's weird. You say you don't love Mommy but you can't tie your shoe without her."

"That's called being a GUY"

"In LOVE!" she countered snootily, "You'll see…" she ignored how he kept rolling his eyes and shaking his head in denial, "when she comes back" poking her tongue between her teeth she smirked, "You're gonna be ALL googly-eyed and cute and kissy…" smiling cheekily she nodded, "I know you very well now, Daddy. And you got it bad for Mommy."

"Eh" he wrinkled his nose and clenched his teeth.

"Did you want us?" Amber frowned when he shook his head and kept his eyes averted.

"Your mother and I had you all when we were kids…" he shook his head yet again, "tie me down, I resent that."

"Tie you down from WHAT?" she raised an eyebrow, "Mommy's a fucking rockstar. We didn't stop you from ANYTHING, Daddy…"

"I have nothing to offer or give any of you…" scowling he ran a hand through his hair and rolled his tongue, "I never did."

"We don't WANT anything" she shook her head curtly and frowned, "We want our DAD who we KNOW loves us."

He didn't respond.

"You know Mommy is GOING to marry Batman if you don't do something about it" she nodded gravely before frowning, "Daddy you HAVE to fix it. Mommy's gonna join Batman if you don't get her back"

The Joker laughed briefly at that before running a hand through his hair and sighing, "She won't give a good damn. Nothing I do is…" he fluttered his hands and batted his eyes daintily, "WORTHY of her…"

"She loves you" Amber warned him sharply and shook her head, "Whatever happened a million years ago YOU screwed up."

"So?"

"She cries for you at night"

"Maybe…" curling his lips he scowled, "just MAYBE…if she came back from…" he waved a hand, "wherever the hell she is…she'd get to SEE me."

"I'm very proud of you" she nodded plainly and he furrowed his brow and licked his lips quick, tilting his head.

"For WHAT?"

"Not cheating on Mommy even though you hate her forever."

"Oh…" he dismissed indifferently, "THAT? Amber…" licking his lips he paused for a few long moments, "Women are disgusting…I wouldn't want a part of that shit anyway."

"How many girls have you kissed?" now she was teasing, and he grinned before answering with a rub of his nose against hers.

"One."

"Mommy…" she giggled though he didn't answer, "you are one whipped little boy."

"You think I'M bad?" shaking his head he sighed, "I can only IMAGINE what BatWayne's getting put through"

"How does NOBODY notice Batman was gone for two years and then he's gonna re-show up with Bruce Wayne-"

"No he won't" the Joker shook his head before hugging Amber closer to his side as they walked, "Wayne comes FIRST…" his eyebrows rose and he paused, "THEN BatWayne eventually weasels his way back and I get to pick on him…you'll see."

"Can you fight against Mommy?" she frowned out of pure curiosity when he didn't answer, though the silence told her everything.

…

The moment Bruce and Mindy stepped off the private jet in Gotham holding hands not only did paparazzi swarm them, but a runway was made for Mindy's children, who all screamed happily at the top of their lungs as their mother stepped off the plane holding the sweetest-looking red panda cub in her arms all wrapped up in a blanket as they nearly toppled her over to get a hold of both her and the red panda.

Bruce smiled fondly and stepped back so Mindy and her kids could have some room, but once Scarlett laid eyes on the engagement ring it was all over. Chelsea took the red panda from her mother and seemed more focused in the baby animal than anything else, while the kids were beyond awed at the wedding ring…yet also deeply saddened. They didn't show it, but their father's reaction to this wasn't one they wanted to even dream of imagining. Despite the disappointment though, they approached Bruce in acceptance and gave him plenty of love too since, after all, he was going to become their stepfather.

Alfred smiled warmly from a distance before approaching Bruce, who happily showed off his future bride to him and announced the engagement in front of each and every reporter while showing off the diamond-encrusted masterpiece of a ring.

Taking her mother's Prada bag, Amber looked around for her mother's wedding rings to find they were worn around her neck on a white-gold chain…she still loved the Joker. There was a god.

…

"So what are we namin' him, huh?" Mindy sat on the carpet in the den of Wayne Manor with her legs completely spread out in a split as the red panda scrambled around the floor with the kids all sitting around as barriers. Oxa wisely just sat, not even knowing what to think of the little raccoon-like creature while Chelsea had Fievel, Mallow Mars, and Peking by the necks.

"STICKERS!" Chelsea shouted while transferring the necks of the cats to one arm so she could reach and pet the red panda.

Bruce held a hand over his mouth and sat behind Mindy on the ground, chuckling while shaking his head at the five-year-old he missed so greatly while in Nepal, "Stickers?"

"STICKERS!" Chelsea nodded while looking to her older siblings, who all exchanged glances and shrugged.

"I like Stickers" Amber nodded with a snort while taking a picture of the red panda with her iPhone and forwarding it to her father's prepaid number so he could see the ridiculousness of their family.

"Me too" Thorn nodded with pouted lips before looking at Oxa, "Not so sure what this one thinks though…" she frowned with a shake of the head.

"Who cares?" Tryg shrugged while scooping up Stickers and hugging him, "I LIKE him!"

"He's SO cute" Scarlett gushed while leaning towards Tryg to nuzzle the red panda's face, "Yes you are, booboo! What a CUTE little baby, yes you are!"

"Any more animals around here I'll have to open up a zoo" Bruce shook his head when Mindy pointed a finger his way and shook her head.

"Cotton is in Malibu…" Cotton was Mindy's prized white Arabian gelding she had since she was twenty, "I want him in the stable"

"Anything you want" he nodded with a kiss to her temple and smiled fondly, "I'll have him transferred today."

"I love Stickers" Amber giggled while taking the red panda from Tryg and cuddling him close, she knew her father wouldn't respond to seeing Stickers (who honestly could?), but she wanted him to stay in the loop.

As to whether or not he knew Mindy was engaged worried her greatly, because once he did all hell was going to break loose. Legally he and Mindy weren't married anymore because Jack Napier was declared dead, so she was free to marry Bruce, only the moral ties kept them drawn together. The marriage was actually something he held in regard; he didn't consider himself a monster and supported that by having a conventional marriage and respecting it. At least that was what he told Amber in regard to why he treated their mother the way he did.

…

"I think the raccoon was a success…" Bruce teased as Mindy sat on their bed brushing Chelsea's hair as Stickers, Fievel, Peking, and Mallow Mars surrounded them. Mindy poked her tongue between her teeth and let him kiss her throat before grinning at Chelsea.

"I dunno, babyboo, what do YOU think?" she cooed to her youngest when the five-year-old nodded and hugged baby Stickers close.

"Stickers" she repeated while turning and giving her mother a kiss before reaching her extended hand out to Bruce, who nommed on her fingers before bending down and blowing a raspberry on her stomach. She squealed and kicked out before Mindy wove her fingers in Bruce's hair and pulled his head up by it so they could make out for the next millennium. They began to do so when Amber entered the room and caught Mindy's eye happily.

"HEY, honey!" Mindy grinned and nuzzled the side of Bruce's head before swinging her legs into a pretzel and adjusting her seat comfortably, "You wanna play with Stickers or hang out?"

Wordlessly Amber nodded, which was all her mother needed to know before curling her lips and standing off the bed to go figure out what was bothering her eldest child. Being that she had Amber at twenty-two, the whole young mother ordeal really played to Mindy's advantage as it did the Joker's since he was only eight months (not even) older than Mindy. Their senses were acute enough to pick up on minor things most parents overlooked.

…

Water from a stream sloshed in every direction from heavy hooves of horses as Mindy and Amber crossed on horseback with little Bailey practically swimming to keep up. Amber rode bareback atop a dapple grey Paso Fino mare she named Soluna while Mindy was on a jet black Rocky Mountain horse with a flowing white mane and tail which she named Rambo, and of course Amber wasn't surprised. Her mother was a fucking weirdo but she loved it.

"Are you gonna show these guys?" Amber giggled when Mindy pouted her lips with an exaggerated nod and a furrowed brow.

"You fuckin' kidding me?" she snorted with a giggle, "I just thought of show names!"

The horse's show names never matched their barn ones, so now Amber was beyond curious.

"Morning Bagel" she pointed at Soluna before patting Rambo's neck, "And I'ma barrel race with Rambo…"

"SO the winner is…?" Amber waved a hand when Mindy prepared herself so she wouldn't laugh while pronouncing it with her Canadian accent.

"Sofa King Fast."

"HAH!" Amber almost fell off Soluna she laughed so loud and Mindy just nodded along smugly.

"Knew you'd appreciate that one…" she sighed while shaking her head and letting the wind take the waterfall of raven and sweep it behind her, "You wanna know what I want?"

Amber gave her a nod and let her continue.

"I wanna get the hell outta dodge…" she nodded with wide eyes and frowned, brushing a chunk of hair behind her and sighing, "get the hell outta anywhere anyone can find us…go to Montana or Australia…"

Amber smiled softly just upon hearing the 'A' word because that was her father's birth country.

"And have a BIG ranch with HUNDREDS of horses…and animals" she smiled softly and nodded, "and just take care of them and ride them and have a big mansion in the mountains"

"So tell Bruce" she encouraged lightly when Mindy shook her head and frowned.

"He is a city boy…" curling her lips she took a deep breath and sighed, "A city boy and Batman, you know he cannot leave."

"Daddy was born in the sticks" Amber shrugged and actually released a small giggle, "He says he was a backwoods dove."

"Yes, honey" Mindy's finger rose before raising her eyebrows pointedly, "But Daddy has since become a homicidal maniac with no intentions of ever changing and does not possess a soul."

"Did you tell him about Bruce?"

"I have not spoken to the bastard in two years" Mindy shook her head with a shrug, "And I do not plan on it."

"He hung out with us a lot…" Amber nodded meekly and played with his watch chain which she wore around her neck like a pendant, "He tried calling you all the time"

"I know" she said uncharacteristically coldly before shaking her head, "He wants what he cannot have that is why he does not ever want Harleen. She is too easy"

"Or MAYBE" Amber didn't mean to bite but it was a sensitive topic, "just MAYBE he's in love with the mother of his five children who he has known since you guys could walk."

"I do not think you understand sociopath and what it entails" she groaned and blew air past her lips, "He is playing you babies like a fiddle. He did not want a part of you until I forced it."

"He loves us…"

"He cannot love" she shook her head, "he USED to love but not anymore. Amber Rose, he is a criminal MASTERMIND what do you not understand?"

"He stopped" she growled, "he stopped for US! And for YOU! HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU HE DOES!"

"NO Amber…" frowning she clenched her teeth and pouted her lower lip in defeat, "he wants to USE me. I am USEFUL to him"

"And you don't use him for anything?" her light eyebrow rose and Mindy groaned loudly.

"No…love is selfless. I want him to stay healthy and not get hurt, that is all"

"So you don't want him to die…?"

"No" immediately she shook her head, "never. Daddy on the other hand, is a very mean nasty man-"

"No he isn't"

"AMBER"

"He LOVES us, he does! He loves YOU, Mommy he loves you MOST! You CAN'T marry Bruce-"

"Is THAT what this is about?" her eyes widened and she tilted her head, "Because if it is, honey"

"I have a Daddy" she nodded curtly, "I don't want a new one. My Daddy is alive and I love him."

"I'm not asking you not to love Daddy"

"Do YOU still love Daddy?" she asked harshly and Mindy didn't respond, "Who was Carly?"

Mindy froze up uncomfortably before just saying, "Your big sister." That closed the entire conversation, but Amber didn't want it to.

"You can marry Bruce…" she trailed off vaguely, "but deep down you know what WE want."

"You have him all wrong…" was all Mindy could warn gravely, "he is using you to get to me…"

"You're wrong."

"Amber Rose" closing her eyes and counting in her head she licked her lips and shook her head, "I have known your father on a VERY personal level for over twenty-six years now…I married him, I have you guys with him…trust me, I know his game."

"He only kissed you in his life"

"Well THAT, my sugar munchkin would be because Daddy is asexual and does not like girls or boys."

"He likes YOU"

"I could get very graphic with you as to why he does but that would be very very wrong so I will steer off that path."

"Bruce is a mistake" was all Amber could respond with a shake of the head, "Daddy did not give up on you even though you're sick…by marrying Bruce you give up on him."

"You are so grounded when we get home."


	48. Chapter 48: Tear the World Down

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Carefully set up across a dark stage with deep blue lighting to look like a city was a large choir and orchestra. Band members dressed in tattered zombie-like clothing and makeup waited for a minute and fifteen seconds as the chorus opened the song before kicking in heavy with the orchestra. Strobe lights flashed about the stage to reveal Miss Stratusfear herself in dark, dramatic eye makeup countered with a lacy cut-out halter teddy with a cheeky bottom in pure snow white. The thick head of raven hair was tousled softly, slightly teased, and the newly toned body she owned had been smeared from head to toe in both bronzer and glitter. The crowd in Gotham was set on fire after Mindy's twelfth costume change of the night and what was presumed to be the grand finale. She decided to end things by performing the famous number which was written especially for her estranged husband to declare a triumphant return after a two-year hiatus proving that no bitch of today could touch her even at thirty years old. Mindy Stratus still had it and none would ever come close.

Intimidating heavy guitar riffs and drum bangs began as the crowd went wild and Mindy swayed her shoulders at the mic stand just staring at the camera since the concert was televised. Many of her shows were since they were put on like theatrical productions and just couldn't be ignored. More cash was poured into her shows than any other, and the very lighting and pyrotechnics which were going off along with actors spinning down from the ceiling like they were floating when Mindy finally moved and held onto the mic stand while staring daggers at the camera.

"_I__'ve fought another day, __Lose another chance to break away…! __From all I cannot bear…"_ vocally this was deeper and more powerful, her mezzo-soprano usual tone was nearly masked,_ "__I suffer through the shame __Wishing hope would just abandon me__…! __Till this…is…over!__" _

The tune picked up as Mindy lunged forwards repeatedly and carelessly tossed her lengthy raven hair over her head just like she did in the music video a thousand years ago.

"_My loveless life, __I'm lost in you tonight,__" _Mindy's voice rose and she barred her teeth before throwing an arm out with the music as the city set caught on fire and burned like crazy, _"__Waiting for you to turn around, __Only to tear the whole world down!"_

She smashed a glass and made the red wine fly EVERYWHERE including on her and the costume as she threw her arms out and a fleet of demented-looking angels rose from the ground as Mindy tossed her head to the side and started stalking across the stage.

"_Time and time again__, __Take it all and take the fall for you…! Fear…is…all I hold…!__" s_he paused in an awkward crouch when the angels lifted and got her into a position so she did a Russian split and suddenly popped her head like a daisy at a musical cue, _"__Bound and beaten down__! __All the pain I can't escape today__…! __Is al-ways with me…!"_

The set continued to be firebombed as she glared at the camera while dragging the mic stand and lunging forwards repeatedly.

"_My loveless life__, __I'm lost in you tonight__. __Waiting for you to turn around__, __Only to tear the whole world down!" _pointing at the camera now she bent forwards_, "My darkest night" _hugging herself and bending further over she slightly brought herself back up to sing, _"Your arms that hold me tight__. __Waiting for you to turn around__, __Only to tear the whole world down!"_

Fire shot up from the stage and she began to falter as if dying while grabbing her temples and practically 'crying' into the camera as the chorus kicked back in so she could hold these next rounds of notes for long periods of time.

"_All my love is lost…!__All my hope is gone…__!" _panting she looked to her dancers, _"__All my love is lost__…! __All my hope is gone…__!" _

As the city razed to the ground Mindy swung back into the main chorus with conviction.

"_My loveless life__, __I'm lost in you tonight__. __Waiting for you to turn around__, __Only to tear the whole world down! __My darkest night, __Your arms that hold me tight__. __Waiting for you to turn around, __Only to tear the whole world down!"_

The choir came in heavy with the orchestra as fiery rocks crashed to the stage all around Mindy but she just stood in the epicenter, glaring at the camera and giving it that signature faraway stare as the lights went out, revealing Mindy to be wearing glow in the dark paint and her entire body was a vibrant red.

Lights went out, and fans screamed for the encore. Down the jewel-adorned bubble went and video screens of the beautiful rockstar in clearly a studio setting posing with wind in her hair and covered in fake blood as various clips from her songs came in to a heavy dance beat and the crowd was expecting her to actually break into a pop song. The people up in the risers were stamping their feet while the floor and levels of people all around the arena clapped their hands with the maddening cheer.

One end would go, "MIN-DY!"

The other, "STRA-TUS!"

"MIN-DY!"

"STRA-TUS!"

It was becoming a competition when each and every light just shot off and the music went dead for a good twenty seconds. VOOM! A single spotlight on Mindy's signature one-of-a-kind First Art Case Steinway Grand Piano originally built in 1857 and the bite-sized rockstar just sat in a black corset and a shimmery long, loose silver skirt which slit all up her right leg. She didn't even wait to begin playing and hoarsely singing what threw her entire audience for a loop. She practically went acapella without ever playing the song live or even recording it before. This was her trial run and it needed to be purged before she killed someone.

"_Watching you sleep for so long__…__Knowing that I can't turn the rain into sun anymore…__I've given you all that I am; now I stand here too scared to hold your hand. Afraid you might wake to see__, __the monster that had to leave…"_

The voice was so haunting and soulful it was almost frightening, but this was what happened when someone let her sing from her gut. Normally her managerial staff never would have let this fly, but she had to do it. Her gorgeous engagement ring reflected the light on purpose; she knew who was watching besides her fiancée waiting in the wings.

"_Cause you see the shelter as the storm__…__Holding wind to keep you warm__. __You were everything to me…This is why I have to leave__. __So sleep well my angel…__"_

Her eyes didn't move from the incredibly slow piano as she droned almost robotically_._

"_Under the ash and the lies__, __something beautiful once here now dies__…__And the tears burn my eyes, __as you sit there all alone. __I just wanna come home…__"_

From the wings Amber began crying hysterically and hugged herself, which confused Bruce so he bent to lift her. Amber knew who this was about and it was probably the opposite of what she begged her mother to do.

"_But you see the shelter as the storm__" _her eyes watered and her stomach hurt, but still continued,_ "__Holding wind to keep you warm__"_

Turning her head away she wiped her eyes with the heel of her hand before hoarsely forcing out the rest of the chorus again.

"_You were everything to me__, __this is why I have to leave__. __So sleep well my angel__…__Sleep well my angel__…!" _she held this note for a good ten seconds quite loudly.

Though Amber didn't get it because she was busy thinking of death for her mother, over ten years of a broken heart did things to people. Especially those who were mentally ill. Floods of rain fell from the stage and the band kicked in, her banging on the keys got harder, and Mindy Stratus broke down hysterically crying in front of her entire audience while belting at the top of her lungs.

"_I'm sorry…!__"_ her puffy eyes stared directly in the camera and she practically screamed at it, _"I'm sorry…!"_

She heaved a deep breath and allowed bitter tears to stream down her beautiful face as she stopped playing and her body bent all the way back, catching the rain in her tiny hands as black makeup streamed down her cheeks from her eyes.

"_I'm sorry…! I'm sorry…!"_

Unable to break into a sob like she wanted to she just powerfully continued singing and playing while looking at the camera and not the audience. As much as she hated him, picturing his face to all this was killing her.

"_You see the shelter as the storm__, __holding wind to keep you warm__. __You were everything to me__this is why…!__" _playing the piano harshly she began to belt at the top of her lungs_, "__You see the shelter as the storm__, __holding wind to keep you warm__. __You were everything to me__, __this is why I have to leave"_she couldn't speak, so the tone dropped to a whisper and she squeaked,_ "__So sleep well my angel__…__Sleep well my angel…__"_

The lights went down, a roar of applause, and Mindy held a hand over her mouth because her face was so red from crying. That engagement ring fucking shined though.

…

That ring on her finger. That ring on her finger. That ring on her bony little fucking finger he gave that little whore one rule and one rule only and she deliberately disobeyed him. 'Don't marry him' he says, and what did the slut do? What did she do? She agreed.

Barring his teeth, the Joker dragged a hand down the monitor he watched from an old warehouse and seethed. The hand shook, both his arms shook, his whole body convulsed and his breaths grew short. He watched from habit he always watched her. He wasn't expecting a fucking hate message and a wedding ring…who the fuck turns on the TV once in a blue moon and expects that out of their significant other of twenty-six years and wife?

Sharp breathing and convulsing turned to shivers and trembles as Wayne stepped on stage to embrace her with his children and then came the choked sob. Was it a sob? A cry? A cough? Who knew, he couldn't rationalize. All he saw was his wife, children, and Batman it hurt. Quite possibly the most excruciating pain in his entire life. The one thing he had; he had nothing to his name not a dime, not a nickel. He had a wife…she was BEAUTIFUL. Even before she ripped her old face off and got a new one. Beautiful. So fucking beautiful. She was his. She promised she wouldn't leave she promised. No matter what she made a promise not to leave she promised she would never let him come back she promised she promised she promised. She said she would never leave him and she loved him but who could ever stay with someone so ugly and scarred?

He swore on himself that he didn't have a heart, but apparently he did because it was open and bleeding on the concrete. Slowly dragging a hand down the monitor once more he cried so hard he broke into a manic laugh before smashing the screen in and heading out with a bang. Hypocritical whore.

Dragging himself into a bathroom he licked his lips compulsively and laughed at his own reflection before driving a fist through the mirror and ignoring how the blood seeped through his torn gloves. A leg swung and kicked right into the tile wall. He felt a few toes break, yet at the same time didn't get the zing he should have. Instead the wall was kicked in and he yanked at the sink so hard he managed to tear it from the wall and crash it to the floor. A loud growl and he nearly roared like a bear before storming out of the warehouse a bloodied bruised mess.

…

A gun store sat quiet after closing hours until deliberately broken into by the Joker and he grabbed the biggest, most beautiful machine gun he could find and ripped it out of storage in the back while muttering to himself, screaming at his own reflection and driving the butt of another gun through it before loading the machine gun up and murmuring hideous thoughts as he did so.

Bullets kept littering the floor but he didn't care to bend and pick them up, instead he smashed cases left and right with his bloodied hand just for the fuck of it. The alarm had already sounded and the police sirens already blared, but he didn't care at all. Out of the shop he went, holding the gun like a baby blanket and firing away at everything in sight.

People screamed and ran to get out of the way, but he just marched in the middle of the road and took them down. Cars drove straight towards him, so he shot out their tires and straight through the windshields. Head-on collisions, t-boning, explosions, he didn't even pay attention to what he was doing. The 'ceiling eyes' were dead tonight. Dead and buried. Nothing could be etched across that face, nothing but anguish and betrayal. Not even he was anticipating that…or that he'd react so strongly. The machine gun grew a mind of its own because of the haphazard firings. Who knew what he hit anymore, he sure didn't. He'd watch this city fucking rot he didn't care. His hand bled profusely but he didn't care.

"JOKER!" oh that voice. That ever-so-familiar voice. Raising his eyebrows and not even bothering to look at her, he raised the gun.

"Send Kitten my regards"

"JACK?" Trish gasped when he fired away and lucky for her she had a bulletproof vest on to protect her chest…but the rest of her body was another story.

He turned and continued firing away, trying not to keep crying and focus on the light of it all. Look how many people got to die.

…

"Mastah J…" Harley shook her head with almost a whimper while attempting to clean up the Joker after pulling him off the street, but he violently tried to yank his body away from her.

"Boss, boss!" several of the men (who normally wore clown masks) shouted while trying to steady him.

Harley shook her head in horror at the state he had put himself into and she didn't know why. He wasn't speaking. All the Joker did was growl and flap around like a bird while resisting to be helped because he didn't want it. He didn't need any fucking help he was fine.

"What the HELL happened to him?" one of the men shook their heads at the other because clearly the boss was in the midst of a mental breakdown.

The Joker stared at nothing but scowled, his completely battered hands clenched in fists as he fought to be freed from them, growling and sputtering god knew what before snarling and literally tearing for his pockets to pull out a weapon, but his jacket had been removed and he didn't even know it.

"What's WRONG with him…?" another scoffed, "Look AROUND! Where the hell is Minxy?"

"Marrying WAYNE, remember?" Harley raised an eyebrow and shifted her weight, which made one of the others curious, and since the Joker was in such an unresponsive state he pulled the tattered gloves off his bloodied hands to reveal a white-gold wedding ring. Silence fell in what seemed like an endless emotional contagion when Harley's eyes filled with unshed tears and not for the reasons the men thought they were.

"And there ya have it" one of the men said solemnly, "Poor bastard."

"I'd fuckin' kill her too" another snorted with a shake of the head, "Whore."

While the men were busy figuring out how the hell they were going to pull the Joker out of his self-induced schizophrenic stupor, something inside Harley cracked. The manic glaze which coated her eyes morphed into something terrifying as she stared at the man who mentally played her for a sap…and thought about the lying whore who said her husband was 'dead' to trick her. Clearly those two were seeing each other behind her back and lying to her face…well…the Joker never really lied…he just ignored the subject and probably would have told the truth if directly forced an answer…but HER? Guilty. She forced him to watch her kids because they were HIS too…and now Harley saw the funny side. The seemingly stonewall Mr. J was actually totally and completely whipped to the ever-flirtatious Miss Kitty…and they both played her like a fiddle between the other. The cretins were one in the same.

She wondered why she hadn't seen it before in Arkham when he told her of his 'past'…assuming that it truly was HIS past and not one he fabricated. The one good thing Miss Kitty did do was open her eyes to how wrong most of his stories were, but that he believed his own lies to be true. Certain memories (mainly those that he didn't share to anyone) were real, but others? He could have completely made them up.

"Oh Mistah J…" sighing with a frown she reached to touch his left hand to take off the wedding ring when he growled and snatched the hand back, giving her a threatening roll of the tongue before flicking out his lighter and smoking a cigarette right in the room. Who honestly was going to tell him no? He didn't care for lung cancer, in fact, he hoped he developed and died of it at this point his teeth were already stained from the nicotine.

* * *

"_Hell has no benefits, only torture"_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost _


	49. Chapter 49: Murder

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Batman and Gordon stood across from one another on the rooftop of the MCU right next to the Bat-signal which was just turned off by an assistant when the Commissioner spoke up.

"Long-time no see…" Gordon opened with raised eyebrows and a nod, Batman giving no response but a lifting of his eyes and the jingle of a bell swept behind Gordon, making him gasp at first until the little figure dressed in that familiar black romper landed next to Batman and her collar stopped jingling.

"Minx?" the assistant gasped and shook his head in denial.

Normally Minx would have said something snappy, but Batman had trained her to the point of a lap dog so she kept silent, those ice-blue glowing eyes bearing right through Gordon's.

"We agreed to lift any possible charges if she helped bring in the Joker" Batman rasped and waited for Gordon to nod in agreement, though the Commissioner rubbed the back of his neck and frowned.

"Gee, that'd be great…!" he nodded before gaining confidence to speak louder, "Now all we have to do is find a man who fell off the face of the earth while you were gone"

"He'll be back" Batman said without hesitation, "Trust me. He may not be about revenge, but I acquired something that was once his…" he meant Minx directly, "he'll come for her…and when he does we'll secure him back in Arkham and screen his doctors before another Quinzel lets him out."

…

The four girls were on the white couches in Bruce's penthouse watching Stephen King's IT about the killer clown who ate children and apparently had a fixation with making balloons 'float'. It made Amber giggle, knowing her 'clown' father's demented pencil trick that he'd taught her. His version of 'magic' was pretty morbid, but Amber found it funny. The black and twisted sense of humor was one of his many charms.

"I'm glad Daddy doesn't eat babies" Thorn rubbed gigantic Oxa's back and stared at the screen. All three housecats, Oxa, and Stickers were seated around the TV area watching the movie with the girls. Alfred had to be off somewhere watching Tryg, who couldn't sit still even if someone Velcroed his ass to the couch.

"Me too" Scarlett nodded while hugging Chelsea closer under her arm. Chelsea loved horror movies for no rhyme or reason…and it was ironic considering she was Autistic and didn't develop a sense of fear for anything. She'd stick her hand on a stove until it singed off before realizing it was dangerous. Considering both her parents were victims of some form of schizophrenia, the Autism was bound to happen somewhere. Autism actually was once considered childhood schizophrenia.

"Daddy doesn't eat much of anything" Amber shook her head crossly, "If Mommy doesn't make it he'll just let it sit there because he hates food."

"He's skinny" Scarlett wrinkled her nose and nodded, "I think Mommy weighs more than him."

"Before Bruce made her a Barbie maybe" Thorn shook her head with a grimace, "I liked Mommy when she was chubby."

"She was never fat" Amber rolled her eyes god forbid she fed the fire, "She was healthy. Daddy thought she was beautiful"

"Did you see their old pictures?" Scarlett held a hand over her mouth and giggled, which made her sisters (including Chelsea) smile as well.

"They looked like Barbie and Ken" Amber snorted though Thorn shook her head with wide blue eyes and held a hand out.

"No no no no no no, Barbie and Ken broke up YEARS ago, remember? She's with BLAINE now!"

"Ohhhh that's right!" Scarlett squeaked and dropped her jaw, tapping Amber's arm eagerly to keep her attention, "The hunky Australian surfer dude who loves roses and hibiscuses!"

"Seriously?" Amber shook her head and pulled her iPhone out, "You've gotta be shitting me…"

"OH MY GOD HE LOOKS JUST LIKE DADDY!" Thorn fell backwards and screamed she was laughing so hard the moment Amber Googled 'Barbie and Blaine'.

"WOOOOOW!" Scarlett sighed with a shake of the head and poked her tongue between her teeth in truest Mindy fashion while Amber could only shake her head as Chelsea slipped off the couch to run into her own bedroom.

"What were they THINKING?" Amber's eyes could only get wider while comparing that to an old picture she had stored on her phone from one of Mindy's albums of when Mindy first bleached her hair at seventeen. She had her arms around Jack's neck from behind and her head nuzzled against his.

"They really were Barbie and Blaine" Scarlett giggled while touching both of her parent's faces on Amber's screen with the tip of her manicured pink nail, "Daddy really IS a hunky Australian guy that's why it's so funny"

Grabbing her favorite baby doll off her bed, Chelsea hugged it close before scampering back down the stairs and stopping short at the bottom though neither her sisters, Tryg, or Alfred seemed to catch why. Her baby got hugged closer to her and she cocked her head at first before smiling and giggling with a static bounce.

"Hello there…" that familiar high-pitched tone cooed and swept Chelsea off the ground, giving her a firm kiss on the lips before heading towards the couch.

"I got…" Chelsea pointed to her baby doll anxiously and held it in his face until he stopped walking to admire the doll, "BABY!"

"And it's such a NICE baby" he made kissy noises at the doll before pressing his lips hard to hers, "I've got MY baby too!" bouncing her a bit he kissed her cheek again and tried to smile, "And you DO belong to me!" licking his lips he looked to the ceiling and shook his head before making eye contact once more and nuzzling her, "Don't you let anyone try to convince you otherwise."

"Clown!" she shouted and tried to nom on his nose when the three older girls spun around on the couch and squealed.

"DADDY?" all at once the blonde-tourage scrambled off the couch and careened towards him…and he let them jump all over him. Changed man? Not quite…even The Iceman loved his children.

"Oh Daddy…!" Scarlett sighed dramatically while being lifted into the air and coiled her arms around his neck, "HOW did you get here, Daddy? This is Bruce's house!"

"You know Alfred's here, right?" Amber raised a wary eyebrow when he snorted and waved her off.

"Never count out your old man" he pointed at her paternally with raised eyebrows and she giggled before sighing and shaking her head.

"You're thirty."

"Ask your mother she'll tell you we're ancient relics"

"You're thirty…" she said pointedly and that was that.

"Where's Mommy?" of course that was why he came…his neck craned about and he frowned mid-search when Thorn shook her head and hugged his waist.

"Batman" she said softly, which made him shake his head with a growl before motioning to the door.

"Let's go."

"Where are we going, Daddy?" Scarlett frowned when he put her down and rushed for her baby pink Ugg slip-ons and Burberry overcoat, Thorn and Amber hurriedly following suit when the Joker started with Chelsea for her bedroom.

"Anywhere" he shrugged.

"Why not Chelsea and Tryggy?" Amber frowned when the Joker glared his son's way as he came bolting in with a tired Harley holding a baseball bat right behind him.

"Well" he shrugged and kissed Chelsea hard on the lips, running his fingers through her hair lovingly, "OUR time together is going to be extra…" licking his lips he nodded and kissed her again, "EXTRA special…and YOU" he turned and faced Tryg didactically though he doubted the lunatic was listening, "had more than enough time with me as of LATE…"

"What do I do with the butler, Mistah J?" Harley frowned while grabbing Tryg so he couldn't run anymore and frowned, which told the three older girls everything they needed to know and the Joker was too busy kissing Chelsea to answer.

"Don't hurt him" Amber answered in place of her father as he went upstairs and tried to tuck Chelsea into bed.

"Yes, ma'am" Harley nodded curtly when Amber frowned and noticed that Alfred was lying on the floor after being clonked unconscious with a baseball bat, so she ran with ice and a pillow to elevate his head and keep him from getting hurt.

"Are you babysitting my brother?" Amber asked warily and Harley nodded a bit somberly, staring at Amber and her siblings in a way the eight-year-old didn't like one bit. "He's really annoying you might need a tranq gun."

"It's funny…" Harley nodded with a hoarse voice while staring at the four which were downstairs, "I never woulda knew you all belonged to Mistah J"

"He didn't like us until he met us" Amber shrugged indifferently while gently rubbing Alfred's temples.

"You look like him, all of you" she nodded with a weak smile, "I can so see it."

"But you just said you never would have known we were his kids" Amber pointed out crossly and tucked a long piece of wavy blonde behind her ear.

"You gonna be a good girl until I get back?" the Joker cooed over Chelsea's bed and brushed his fingers through her hair happily, "Huh? You gonna be good for me?"

"Stickers" Chelsea frowned and stared at him uncomfortably, "I want Stickers, baby, and kitties."

"Stickers…" he paused for a moment until the memory of the picture Amber sent him came to mind and he nodded, "baby" he pulled her baby doll out from under the covers and handed it to her, "and…kitties…"

"And kitties" she nodded curtly and he pinched her cheek before leaving the room and heading downstairs; snooping around in front of everyone before literally grabbing Stickers by the scruff of his neck and the three cats by their tails before carrying them up and dropping them on Chelsea's bed.

"Anything else?" he knelt at her bedside and didn't move at all for a few moments, gawking at her appearance before leaning in and kissing her more, "You know…" his eyes dropped and he rolled his tongue before speaking, "Mommy and I have been together since we were your age…"

Chelsea's eyes got big and he nodded.

"Yes, ma'am" kissing her cheek more his lips literally trailed anywhere on her face they could go, "just like a fairy tale, huh?" he ignored how Stickers curled under the covers and all the cats positioned themselves around the bed because none of it was there.

"You like the retarded one" the last voice he wanted to hear rang around the Joker's head, and Chelsea just blinked at him confusedly, "You like the retarded one, she reminds you of the mother…I know your game, boy"

Clenching his teeth, the Joker shook his head to make it stop before coddling Chelsea quickly and getting up to leave without a word further. Harley went to say something to the Joker when he snarled at her and grabbed his three oldest by the arm, dragging them out of the penthouse with him.

…

Two drug dealers made a deal on a run-down sidestreet through a car window when a shadow loomed over the alley, making the man standing outside the car jump from fright.

"What?" the guy in the car irritably rolled his eyes, "What the hell are you afraid of? He's been gone for two years, he's finished!"

"Not QUITE!"

That high-pitched girlish shout only meant one thing, and with a heavy gasp the guy on the outside flashed his eyes about and spun around to see absolutely no one there. Despite himself he took a breath of relief when that horrible sound came…the jingling of a bell.

"HEY!" he shouted at no one in particular, a cold sweat running down his face as the bell jingled all around him, "HEY! HEYYY! Get the HELL ova here, you little bitch! Or I'll blow ya fuckin' brains out!"

Suddenly the jingling stopped and all was quiet. A breath of relief was taken and he placed a hand over his heart to regain himself.

"Ex-CUSE me, sir!" the theatrical, over-exaggerated feminine announcement made the man turn around in fright to see none other than tiny Minx with those icy glowing eyes perched on a streetlight, "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?"

He paused, enough time for her to grab the post like an Olympic bar and swing around it in a fraction of a second to missile dropkick and tackle him to the ground, hissing like a cat before jamming his face into the pavement.

"Eat FLOOR!" she growled before flipping her hair out of her face and nodding, "High in fiber."

Pulling fuzzy black handcuffs out from her cleavage she got his hands when the engine to the car gunned and she gasped, noticing the car was about to drive away when WHAM! Out of the sky dropped Batman straight onto the hood and a single fist punched through the windshield, ripping the guy out and flipping him onto his back before sneering and pulling out handcuffs and a wire to tie him with.

"HOLY Falcon Punch, Batman!" her little hands went over her mouth and she could only shake her head in astonishment before cringing sheepishly at the look he shot her for the one-liner, "You can call me Daddy."

"Next time I'm locking you in the trunk."

…

While Tryg ran about like the typical maniac he was, Harley wandered into Chelsea's room to see the five-year-old was fast asleep surrounded by a fortress of live animals and stuffed ones. Knowing her father he wouldn't have it any other way. That Oxa had gone out with the twins so it was just the three cats and Stickers, but that wasn't what captivated Harley's attention. The lengthy tresses of loosely curled blonde hair which fell all down Chelsea's head and fluttered over the pillow was the killer. None of the other kids had hair like that. Amber's was wavy and the other three pin-straight.

All that shit though about Mindy's precious Jack being dead were farce and it was killing her. She would have smothered that baby with a pillow if not for all the animals surrounding her.

Heading into Mindy's bedroom next Harley dug until she found the photo albums beginning with baby pictures of Jack and Mindy onward. Almost every single shot they were together, the blonde brigade, and it was sickening. To think that the almighty psychotic Joker was actually this whipped bastard utterly obsessed with his wife and kids made her insane. Maybe if she was the wife she wouldn't feel so strongly, but the fact that Mindy so willingly screwed her own beautiful perfect husband over for some Caped Coconut made her beyond any level of angry. The whole reason why the Joker was holding off on her was because of his fucking Kitten, who clearly wanted nothing to do with him and was just stringing him along. She needed to hurt her, she needed to just pull the gun out of her pocket and blow the half-beast away. Friend? Mindy was no friend. She was out for herself and only herself, as had been shown in the way she forsaked her absolutely gorgeous, smart, funny, talented, and adorable husband for rich pretty Bruce Wayne.

The slut needed to be taught a lesson and the Joker needed to be free of her clutches; and she knew exactly what could be done to get her point across.

…

"I tried, Daddy…" Amber croaked weakly while walking alongside her father holding his hand. Scarlett was swung over his back and Thorn travelled on his other side with Oxa trotting on her sparkly leash. "You know Mommy's stubborn as a rock."

"Rock is right" he groaned with a shake of the head while licking his lips, "Any…" he wrinkled his nose and said this as if he had a nasty taste in his mouth, "WEDDING PLANS? Or…?"

"Not yet" Thorn shook her head, squeezed his hand tighter in hers, and frowned, "What happened to your hand?"

"Nothing" he dismissed with a shake of the head, "Absolutely nothing."

"I told Mommy we will never have another Daddy" Amber nodded a bit complacently with a thin smile, though the Joker tilted his head down and twitched while looking at her.

"Why?"

"We love you" Scarlett nodded while nuzzling his neck and kissing behind his ear, "You're our Daddy."

"Not a very GOOD one" he shook his head with wide eyes and chuckled darkly, "If you ladies were oh…" he looked up and pondered, "let's say…seventeen…you wouldn't feel the same"

"Yes we would" Thorn nodded and kissed his hand, "We love you"

"Why?" it wasn't registering with him, none of it was, "I haven't done a damn thing for you, I didn't even WANT you. You were all made by ACCIDENT and I HATED your mother for not getting you all sucked out when it was early enough-"

"I think you're all talk" Amber nodded with a simple shrug while holding his hand tighter, "You're JUST like Mommy she ALWAYS says how much she hates you and then cries when any time she thinks of you going away comes"

"Why do you think BATWAYNE wants her?" he scoffed with a shake of the head, "Of course we're alike" he sighed disappointedly and shook his head, "Three little Indians sitting on a shelf…One told the others to go fuck themselves."

"She really is very mean" Scarlett nodded while hugging the Joker's neck tight and snorted, "But I love it!"

"Me too" Thorn nodded and grinned as her father's hold on her hand tightened, answering the question not directly posed at him.

"You have to get Mommy back" Scarlett nodded with bleary eyes and sniffled, "You HAVE to, Daddy! You HAVE to!"

Groaning and dropping his eyes dejectedly he could only shake his head, "What don't you little sunspots seem to understand?"

They went quiet and didn't answer while frowning.

"A life with me…" he sighed and shook his head while licking his lips, "there IS NO 'life' with me."

"So you would rather your sworn enemy raise your babies…?" Amber shook her head at him disappointedly and nodded along with curled lips, "That's very spineless of you…I almost wish you didn't want to know us before that."

"Oh fuck me" he grunted and was going to just stonewall for the remainder of their time when thank Christ for Scarlett on his back.

"What's your favorite color?"

He paused before replying, "Purple."

Gasps and the twins both giggled loudly.

"That's MOMMY'S favorite color TOO!" Thorn beamed when the Joker smiled under his breath and nodded.

"I know."

"You really ARE Barbie and Blaine!" Scarlett giggled when the Joker shot her quite possibly the strangest look he ever gave anyone, which sent all three girls into hysterics because he truly had no idea what they were talking about.

…

"So SERIOUS…!" Minx frowned from her spot straddled over Batman inside the Tumbler. She wore a white tank top and black yoga pants because the Minx romper was irritating her skin and she needed to change. Batman really wasn't one to cave into hedonism on the job but Minx had him pinned. One of her hands was on his face and the other on his chest, grinding herself into his armored hips anyway to hopefully get him off for when they got home.

"You know better" he told her in his Batman tone and she furrowed her brow crossly before shaking her head.

"We are alone…" glancing about she shrugged, "you do not need to use that voice"

"You love me…" Batman still rasped and she nodded along eagerly while placing kisses all over his mouth and lower jaw, "You have to learn to love me as both"

"Three, actually" Minx nodded before suddenly cutting herself off and holding up four fingers, "Four. Little boy Bruce" she nodded while giving him a slow kiss, "MY Bruce" another slow kiss, "playboy Bruce" one more long kiss, "and Batman. You are double my personalities"

"You…?" he frowned when she dropped her eyes and held up two fingers.

"On the day we met you met Mindy…" frowning she shook her head, "Mindy does not exist. She protects me from you, and from Jack, and from everybody"

"Why?" he frowned and pet her face when she shrugged.

"I let people do anything to me…" pouting her lips she nodded, "she does not let anyone hurt us."

"How do you control…?"

"We switch on and off. I met Mindy when I was nineteen and my Jack died. She made me better and took over my soul. Mindy takes no shit from no one…but I let anybody be mean. I am dead. Mommy and Daddy killed me when I was a little baby"

"Have I met you…?" he croaked and she nodded.

"You know Mindy better. My Jack knows me better."

"Did I give you your pills this morning?" he frowned when she didn't answer, "Oh Christ, I'm sorry…"

…

"Tryggy…" Harley cooed in a singsong voice while trailing around the house, "Oh Tryggy…!"

She rolled her eyes and sneered, the kid was nowhere. BOOM! Harley hit the ceiling at first from the bang on the sliding glass door to the balcony when she looked up and smiled at Tryg throwing around a tennis ball and whacking anything within range. The kid wasn't supposed to be on the balcony, he was six…yet there the blonde, blue-eyed kid was. His long, pin-straight blonde hair slightly covered his eyes so he didn't see Harley stepping out onto the balcony and grabbing his ball as it bounced by.

"Hey!" he shouted and got her attention, "Give it here!"

At first Harley paused, but then smiled as she noticed Tryg was standing near the railing, "Catch!"

It went right over his head purposely and over the edge which made him growl and lean over the railing to trace where his ball went.

"Hey no fair!" he shouted with a scowl as Harley innocently approached him, "You did that on PURPOSE!"

"No I didn't!" she shouted with pouted lips as Tryg craned his neck and she gasped. It was no longer the baby looking at her, but the Joker. They had the exact same face and expressions it frightened her.

"Uh huh" Tryg rolled his eyes and moved off the balcony to walk back into the house, "Jerk."

"No no, wait!" she shouted and made him stop walking halfway in, "I see it, I do! It's right…" she went to open her mouth to point when Tryg ran over reluctantly and leaned over the edge to find nothing, Harley slowly lurking behind him as he looked disappointedly.

"I don't see nothin'!" he frowned and wrinkled his nose, "I'm telling DAD!"

"Oh no…" she shook her head and now stood directly behind him as he tried to see where his ball went, "you won't be telling anyone anything."

Whether he heard that or not was irrelevant, because with a single push the boy went over the railing head-first and fell from the tip-top of Bruce's penthouse all the way down to the street below…lucky for him he was dead before he splattered the ground. Harley did watch him hit with a pant and a scowl before turning and heading out, oblivious to Chelsea standing in her doorway holding her baby doll and Stickers. The baby's lip pouted the moment Harley slinked out the door and she headed towards the balcony to see anything, but was too short so she hugged both the red panda and the baby doll before finding the unconscious Alfred and just sitting Indian-style on his chest.

…

Since they hadn't wandered far, the Joker's lips pouted as police sirens blared past them and skidded to a stop in front of Bruce's building, confusing the girls and now the Joker was curious.

"What is that, Daddy?" Amber frowned while squeezing his hand and he shrugged blindly.

"For once in my life…" his lips curled in and he shrugged, "I couldn't tell you."

"You think it was a robbery?" Scarlett antagonized and the Joker was blanked.

"Or grand theft auto?" Thorn chimed in when Amber picked it up.

"Or rockstars trashing the hotel room?"

"Elevator got stuck!" Scarlett giggled and the Joker could only roll his eyes and shake his head with a weak smirk. He was such a terrible influence on his children and totally relished the position. Amber's phone rang and she frowned to see it was coming from Bruce's house, hearing the Hannah Montanna ring tone the Joker could only close his eyes and clench his teeth before groaning.

"Please don't tell me that's Mommy…"

"I don't know" Amber frowned before answering and pouting her full lips, the Joker glaring around since he was in full makeup and didn't need people staring at him. "Hi"

"Dad-dy?" holy shit.

"Chels?" Amber gasped and immediately the Joker ripped the phone from her ear and ran his fingers through her hair to let her know it wasn't personal against her, so she covered his hand with both of hers and nuzzled against it.

"Dad-dy?" that pouty voice of hers could slay the Devil himself yet he panicked.

"Who taught you how to use a phone?" he demanded when Scarlett giggled and pet his hair.

"We taught her so she can call when she needs us"

"Does she have her own?" he barked quickly at Scarlett and she nodded.

"She always loses it"

"Woman after my own heart" he made the girls laugh before completely changing his demeanor to the point that Amber was chuckling and elbowing Thorn, "What's wrong, Princess?"

"Daddy!" she cheered and he nodded along for a second and turned so the older three couldn't see him smiling.

"Yeah, yeah it's me; are you alright?" he asked as a pout and frowned, "Shouldn't you be in bed so you don't give Mommy a heart attack?"

"I don't have a brother anymore" she said flatly and he became cross before shaking his head.

"Of course you do, he's"

"No Daddy" she said firmly, "No more brother."

"What do you MEAN, Princess?" he ran a hand through her hair and panicked, pacing like mad in front of his daughters when Chelsea bit the bullet.

"The CLOWN pushed him."

He hung up and nearly broke Amber's phone before shoving it back in her hand and clamping a hand in his hair.

"Daddy?" Amber frowned but he couldn't even acknowledge. The emergency vehicles, police, cryptic phone call…he didn't need to see it for himself he didn't want to.

…

"I am surprised at you..." Minx nodded while playing with Batman's right hand as he drove them in the general direction of home, "I thought you never wanted a sidekick."

"I wasn't engaged to someone with inhuman abilities" he rasped and she giggled with a bit of an eye roll.

"God forbid things get testy I have NO problem being a desperate housewife" her phone vibrated so much from the Joker that she had to put it on silent before Batman picked it up. Then the text message from Trish came saying, 'Meem…come home.' "What?" frowning, Mindy texted back 'why?' only to receive no answer.

"What is it?" Batman frowned when Minx clamped a hand in her hair and shrugged.

"Apparently I need to go home" Mindy frowned while watching him press on the gas even more, "Get to check out some high-class problem action."

A text message from the Joker's number that said 'NOW' as in he wanted a call from her, but Mindy disregarded it until a huge taped-off police scene caught their eyes in front of Bruce's building.

"Oh boy…" Mindy's eyes got wide and her lips pouted until somebody was loaded into an ambulance and Trish stood by with the four screaming girls…maybe the Joker had Tryg? Immediately she sent him something saying, 'Jack I see four…do you have Tryggy?' The lack-of answer was enough to scare her green. "Let me out" she watched as Batman obeyed the order before leaping out of the Tumbler and darting through the crowd upon crowd of people screaming, "TRISHA ANNE! TRISHA ANNE BABIES!"

People around her fell quiet, actually stepping aside for the popstar as Batman took after her from the Tumbler parked in the middle of the road.

"MIRANDA!" he saw…

"TRISHA ANNE!" she shouted again and caught her sister's bleary eyes, which again scared her when she rushed forwards into a medic who recognized her and replied coldly.

"Don't bother; he's dead."

Her heart stopped beating at those words as her eyes automatically lifted to catch the scattered parts of what once was her six-year-old son on the pavement. People were crying, flashes from cameras were everywhere as well as helicopters and reporters…and Mindy let out a scream so piercing several car windows shattered and a blood vessel popped in her brain, fainting into Batman's arms and the screaming blubbering girls instinctively ran to their new father. Gordon's hand was over his mouth and he actually had to turn around not to cry and lean on the car, thanking his stars that it wasn't his son yet feeling an unbelievable amount of sympathy for the bereaved popstar.


	50. Chapter 50: Paradise Lost

**A/N: Thank you :)! Drum roll please...**

Entering her apartment Harley stood in front of her kitchen table and choked a breath before slamming it down on the wood and heading for the sink. Sniffling she grabbed a dish rag and used it to wash off all the white makeup on her face and off with the eyemask so she could spare it from being covered in white makeup. It bugged her what she did, it got to her so badly that she leaned over the sink and coughed while running a hand through her long blonde hair to get thoughts out of her head regarding the betrayal of the young woman she once thought was her friend only to discover she was a two-faced backstabbing evil whore with no soul. Killing the kid wasn't originally part of the plan but he belonged to the ice queen therefore was an easy way to get to her. Maybe she'd spend her days and nights screaming in a schizophrenic funk instead of coming after the Joker and screwing his poor mangled heart even more. Now he'd have more time for Harley; so was killing the kid necessary? Absolutely.

Curling her slightly pouty lips, Harley whimpered in fear of how the Joker would take the whole thing before running a hand through her slightly sweaty hair and heading into the bedroom, where a knife hooked into her mouth and slammed her against the nearest wall. She gagged and tried to flail when she realized one wrong move and her mouth was cut.

"Clever" heavy breathing and a Joker card was shoved in her face as she fearfully made out his outline in the dark pinning her to the wall, "Giving me credit" he shifted his weight and licked his lips, "for a crime…I didn't…commit."

"M-M-Mi-" she tried but he shook his head and shushed her immediately with a finger slammed to her lips.

"Sssh sh sh sh sh sh!" shaking his head he tried to look her in the eye by holding her chin, "Now…normally when…" he smacked his lips, "I DO…something…" his brow furrowed and he nodded, "I want everyone to know I did it. But…" shifting his weight he cringed, "something so SPINELESS, something so CARELESS…my own SON…" he stretched the corner of her mouth out and shook his head with a wrinkled nose, "that's just cramping my style…and I don't appreciate it."

Harley cringed at that yet he clearly didn't give a damn by any means.

"When I hired you I expected you to follow my rules…to obey my orders…" he cocked his head dangerously and sneered in her face, "basic BABY-sitting!"

She couldn't even make eye contact she was so frightened, yet to him that came off as something else entirely and he scowled.

"You always asked about these SCARS…" he showed her his cheeks and licked his lips with wide eyes before leaning close to her ear and whispering, "Wanna know how I got them?" he nodded though clearly she didn't want to answer out of fright, "Come here…" she whimpered but he growled and snapped her eyes to his, "LOOK! AT ME!"

She started crying and that was his cue to begin.

"So I have a wife…" he whispered in her face and she cringed.

_At eighteen years old Jack and Mindy stood beside the other holding hands while impatiently waiting for the officiant to carry on with the stupid ceremony so they could go to the apartment Jack spent an arm and a leg to rent, and consummate. They were idiot teenagers, not much else came to mind. Trish was the only person around simply to witness the marriage and Jack highly doubted she cared to be there. She called them all sorts of things but Jack didn't care to recognize any of them, he'd been with her sister since they were five and was the only reason the faux-blonde hadn't cut her own throat yet. _

_Unable to afford a real wedding gown, the fake blonde and spray-tanned Mindy (paid for by her record company as an early courtesy) had on a white knee-length dress with her fake blonde hip-length hair straightened. Jack on the other hand donned the only suit he owned with his wavy blonde hair out of his dark eyes for once in his life. Both eyes were downcast and he had to shift from foot to foot counting in his head because he was so nervous. Mindy caught sight and giggled. _

_Their kiss was rushed and Mindy nearly lost her balance but he swept her off her feet since she was so tiny and deepened the kiss even more. One hand he kept under her and the other on her face, giving a firm kiss to the neck after breaking the seemingly never-ending lip lock._

"BEAUTIFUL…" his head cocked and he leaned close to Harley's face, "like YOU..."

_Mindy frowned while staring at her reflection in the bathroom mirror of their one-bedroom apartment, running a finger down the bridge of her nose and going over a bump which was making her unhappy. All the other signed talents had these perfectly sloped noses and hers had an ugly little bump because she was Greek. A lot of things about her sucked. Her hair was this icky brown color before she bleached it and her lips were thin and plain as paper, they needed collagen so badly it wasn't even funny. Though she was slightly chubby growing up she at least lost a lot of weight due to anorexia nervosa, she only ate once a day and that was when Jack came back from work. She lied whenever he asked what she ate beforehand. Flat-chested and pale-skinned, her label had managed to fix her skin but the chest needed to be done. Everything needed to be done or they'd drop her for sure without even getting paid yet. _

_As it was Jack was so gorgeous with the beige skin and wavy blonde hair, plus he had a dimpled smile on him that could ignite cities when he felt up to it. Having someone so unbelievably beautiful made her feel like a hideous monster completely unworthy of her partner, and of course the bastard did the whole 'you're beautiful the way you are' routine…but she knew the truth. _

_Catching that she was staring at herself in the bathroom mirror again, Jack snuck up from behind her while singing (attempting to was a better way of putting it)in his thick Australian accent, "__Once there was a little kitty whiter than snow; In a barn she used to frolic, a long time ago!" _

_Grinning__ he jumped right onto the sink so she was blocked from the mirror he just felt like taking down so it wouldn't make her hate herself anymore. Growing up she had him and only him as a friend, and the rest made fun of the paranoid schizophrenic untreated non-English speaking freakshow. Cocking his head while petting her hair he frowned._

"_What's the matter, Kitten?"_

"_Mirror-girl talks again" she nodded while pointing a dainty little finger at the mirror behind him, and he frowned while twisting his torso and pointing at it with his thumb._

"_What's she saying this time, huh?" he asked with a jerk of the head._

_She sniffled and shook her head before beginning to cover her nose, which made him scowl and slam the fist back so he smashed the mirror and she screamed._

"_Whatever it was she won't be bothering you anymore" he nodded and leaned down to give her a big kiss on the lips and hold her face in his hands lovingly, "You're too beautiful; Mirror-girl's without" he nodded and lifted her so she wouldn't see the bleeding hand and turned on the bathwater, "Bubble bath or shower?" he asked kindly when she pointed to the tub and hugged his neck, staring at the broken shards of mirror which were laughing at her for being so freakishly ugly._

"Who tells me, I worry too much…" he frowned and pouted his lips at Harley.

"_HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FEED A BABY IF I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF YOU?" Jack screamed at Mindy and nearly smashed a plate to the counter in their kitchen one night, a pile of bills spread all across their little two-person kitchen table with a high chair given to them by one of the other tenants next to it. _

"_I can…" Mindy shrugged while motioning to her chest, which had gotten bigger since she was six months along, "you know" she shrugged and pulled the plate from his hands, "It will be okay, Jack. Honest" she nodded with wide eyes and pouted lips, watching him lean against the counter and run a hand through his long blonde hair before he killed someone. _

"_I believe you…" he nodded while reaching out to run his fingers through her hair and kiss her, "I just…" he trailed off as a groan while glaring at the floor and curling his lips in, "I don't need to fail Carly as I've already failed you…"_

"_You did not fail SHIT, Jack" she shook her head and pet his face gently, "clothes are in the dryer you wanna come get them with me?"_

_He said nothing, but kissed her hand and let her lead the way._

_The machines were in the basement, and as they went down there Mindy was increasingly frightened of the 'Floor Man' who lived under the stairs and tried to pull her under by her feet, so he carried her down and made her point out which machine was theirs. A lone dirty lamp lit up the basement and Jack knew damn well why she was so terrified of this place. The phobia of the dark was there already she didn't need to be thrust into all this. _

_A throaty chuckle in the near distance made the couple turn and look in the same direction, "Well looky here! Barbie and Ken even wash clothes together"_

"_Oh yes we DO, Mr. Ullman!" Mindy giggled upon recognizing the tone and hugged Jack's neck, the couple watching the older chestnut-haired man step away from a washing machine to smile at them. _

"_Jack" Mr. Ullman nodded at Jack, and the young man immediately gave him a single nod and a shake of the hand, "Any midnight ice cream runs lately?" he was teasing, though Jack was clearly in no mood. _

_He narrowed his eyes and scowled off to the side with clenched fists before sharply replying, "I can barely keep a roof over her head."_

"Who tells me, I ought to SMILE more…!" the Joker nodded while waving the knife in Harley's face, a slight tremble in his tone.

"_Crab" Mindy made pinchers in Jack's face as they walked hand-in-hand from his job at the chemical plant early one day because her annual psychiatric assessment was today and he could never let her go alone. "Crab apple…" she pinched in his face and he raised an eyebrow, "Crab monster…" he wrinkled his nose as she made more pinchers and tried to nip at them, "Crabby crabby crabby Jack; always crabby."_

"_Oh come on now, I'm not THAT bad" he smirked and shook his head when she nodded curtly and squealed as he grabbed her butt. _

_Upon arriving at Dr. Halla's (Mindy's primary), the results were anything but what Jack wanted to hear. A grocery list of new medications was clenched in a hand and all he could rack his brain over was how he was going to be able to afford her new prescriptions. _

"Who gambles and gets in deep with the SHARKS…" he scowled and tapped her cheek, "Hey! You there?"

_Jack donned the Red Hood costume for a split second before realizing that he couldn't do it and made the phone call with Mindy hovering behind him saying that he was backing out. He left to return the suit and the moment he left the building, a group from that very gang came in and caught the door before it fully closed. _

The Joker's eyes narrowed and his usually high pitch dropped to a flat monotone, "One day, they carve her face…"

_Mindy screamed as one man held her mouth and the other flicked out a long switchblade, digging it into one of her cheeks from the corner of her mouth all the way up._

"_Tell your husband we're sorry too" one of the men mocked before cutting the high pregnant starlet's mouth on one side while the others held her down. _

_She screamed, cried, and actually unleashed her claws to get at them yet still the pain was excruciating. Only the sound of laughter hit her ears along with her own shrill screams. The ugly jagged erratic lines up her cheeks created a river of blood which only widened once a foot was raised and she was kicked square in the stomach…over and over again. _

_Cut open and bleeding they left her there with a completely ruined face and a rush of blood from between her legs, knocking her unconscious until the landlord walked in after hearing such a commotion and called an ambulance. _

_As Jack stood before the group, one stepped forward and sniggered, "That's a pretty little wife you got…" he knew that would make Jack crazy, "cryin' shame if something were to happen to her…"_

"_Kitten" he murmured before turning his back and racing away, practically bursting a lung on his way back to the building only to find the landlord with his hat off and his head shaking slowly. _

_Running a hand through his hair Jack moved through the hospital like a madman before entering where they said she was held and nearly throwing up once catching sight. The unconscious beauty was beautiful no more with the biggest, ugliest cuts Jack had ever seen in his life…the Glasgow smile. To compliment that she'd lost the baby and nearly her life in the process of obtaining those scars. Wrapped up in a blanket inside her arms was a premature stillborn infant drenched in blood. Holding a hand over his mouth though he couldn't cry, he never did, but he sat on the bed and pulled her into his lap, taking Carly into his own arms and just staring at her with puffy eyes. _

_Every breath she took was agony, and when she finally woke up she did manage to utter, "They said sorry."_

_That lit all sorts of fire under his ass, and he shook his head while trying to ignore the Chelsea grin to reply, "They'll BE sorry…all of them."_

"And we have no money for surgeries…we have no money for ANTHING actually…"

_Performing at an incredibly small venue with heavy makeup to hide the hideous Glasgow smile was Mindy along with the rest of her band Stratusfear (a play off her maiden name Stratigias), stick-thin since she hadn't eaten a thing after losing Carly and waif-like. This little gig in particular was important because representatives from Jive (her record company) were watching her to monitor her style in front of an audience. People were shocked by the scars on her face and the reps caught it, but the show had to go on. _

"_Crawling through this world as disease flows through my veins…" __her style was operatic and classically trained mezzo-soprano, "__I look into myself, but my own heart has been changed__. __I can't go on like this__…__I loathe all I've become__" she knew they were watching her and she raised her voice powerfully for the chorus, "__I've woken now to find myself__, __In the shadows of all I have created__. __I'm longing to be lost in you__(away from this place I have made)__Won't you take me away from me__" she paused before grabbing the mic stand and leaning down, "__Lost in a dying world I reach for something more__…__I have grown so weary of this lie I live!__"_

_The representatives were zoned in on those scars embedded in her cheeks._

"_Miranda…" the representatives spoke to her backstage after the show and shook their heads, the owner of the label speaking to her condescendingly, "we can't make money off those scars on your face"_

"_I know" her voice dropped meekly and she tugged on her own hair, "I cannot fix them yet…I cannot afford it." _

"_We signed a girl without a Glasgow smile" he told her sharply and shook his head, "This is a mainstream pop label, not a horror movie. Your face will scare the hell out of our audience"_

"_I will get them fixed as soon as I can, sir" she nodded with wide blue eyes, "honest."_

"_We can't wait for that" he shook his head and eyeballed her, "I'm sorry; Miranda we have to terminate your contract. I signed a girl with a real smile." _

_Jack walked out of the plant that night to see Mindy standing there waiting for him with a hand over her face to hide the scars and didn't hesitate before bawling her eyes out. He said nothing, but grabbed her in front of everyone nearby and planted big kisses all over her scarred cheeks. He didn't care about the scars, but as for the ones who did this to her? Each and every one of them would be tracked down and carved up like pumpkins. _

The Joker angered and shook his head with clenched teeth,_ "_She can't take it."

_Holding a razor in her hand Mindy tilted her head to the side wearing a short peach nightgown and sucked in a breath while cutting into the underside of her wrists. Breathing through her teeth she watched the blood begin to ooze before cutting into her arms and ankles, watching the blood run satisfactorily when there was a knock on the door._

"_Kitten?" Jack frowned and leaned on the door from the opposite side, "Kitten, please…darling…darling, come out of there…come to me, Kitten please. I love you, come out of there…"_

_A shrill, blood-curdling scream came from the bathroom followed by a loud BANG!_

"_KITTEN!" he banged on the door with a fist and barked, "OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW! KITTEN!"_

_BANG! BANG! BANG!_

"_KITTEN!"_

_Slamming her bloodied arms everywhere she could and smearing it on the walls, Mindy screamed while digging the razor into her face to reopen and aggravate the wounds to the point that they bled profusely. Still she stared at where the mirror once was before Jack smashed it and saw her reflection, laughing at her. Screaming so loud she drove her fist into the wall thinking it was her reflection's face with a loud CRRRACK! Her wrist shattered and just hung there limp when Jack got the door unlocked to witness THAT gem. _

"I just want to see her smile again, hm?" he frowned in an almost pleading tone.

"_Kit-ten…" Jack cooed from lying beside Mindy in bed one Sunday morning. _

_She refused to leave the apartment for weeks and now had confined herself to the bed. A heavy blanket was drawn up over her head to shield the ugliness along with each and every curtain drawn so light couldn't sink in._

"_Come on, Kitten it's just me please…" he tightened his hold around her frail frame and lifted her up so she was sitting upright before lying back down with her over him. He wanted to look at her despite the deep-rooted jagged lines making her constantly 'smile'; he didn't care for them he cared for her. His beautiful wife. "You don't need to hide" his usually husky voice shushed her, "you never need to hide you're so beautiful…" smiling gently he petted her face and nodded, "the most beautiful white little kitten to ever live…I love you."_

_Leaning up he moved the thick unstraightened dry blonde hair from her face and kissed her deeply._

"_I've always loved you from the moment I saw you…I did this to you…" he croaked and shook his head while kissing the scars on her face, "this should be me, it was supposed to be me"_

_She shook her head and kissed him while petting his face like he was made of diamonds._

"_Kitten" his lips quivered as he stared at her in adulation, "How could you stay with me? I failed you…" though he didn't want to his eyes dropped to her now-flat tummy, "I killed Carly-"_

"_No" she shook her head and nestled under his chin, "I…" she pointed to herself and nodded in his face, "I see Carly lots."_

_She was sick. She was so fucking sick and he couldn't keep up with the costs of her medication. He could only give her a certain amount and a certain dosage to ration it, and it wasn't nearly enough. The girl needed a drugstore and he couldn't afford it for her. The paranoid schizophrenia was going to be the death of her and he could do nothing to prevent it. Already he'd stopped her from hanging herself, slitting her wrists, slitting her throat, drinking bleach, and throwing herself from numerous windows. It was starting to become a game, which way was Mindy going to try and off herself next. It drove him mad because HE was the one who did this to her. It was HIM. The dream she had he completely ruined for her before it even got to fully come true and he couldn't take it. Guilt overtook him. How he could take the one person he ever loved and completely break her because he wanted her and couldn't give her to someone else or keep her in Borehamwood…yet they tortured her there in the hospital too, made her a complete half-beast freak. She shouldn't have wanted a part of his existence, yet she crawled on top of him and they made love in the dark. _

"I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars."

_With a switchblade in hand Jack went out into the streets scouring them for the men who destroyed his wife. And the moment he found them it wasn't pretty. Each and every man he came across he literally ripped open their mouths straight across with the knife relentlessly and watched them bleed in sick satisfaction before moving onto the next, and the next, and the next…they tried shooting at him, but he was pretty damn fast and alert of where people were. The really sad thing was he didn't need a gun to combat them; he played with the darkness by hiding in shadows and stalking them out literally one by one. They tried to fight, they tried to resist, but it ended in screams and slashing across the throat. _

"_Please Napier!" one backed against a wooden fence, held a hand up as Jack cornered him, and begged, "Gimmie a chance!"_

"_AND WHAT ABOUT MY WIFE?" Jack roared like a bear and actually horrified the guy, "WHERE WAS HER CHANCE? HUH? WHAT FAIR SHOT DID YOU GIVE HER? SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY OBLIGATION TO YOU AND YOU CUT HER FACE! HER BEAUTIFUL FUCKING FACE YOU KILLED MY BABY! WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?" his voice cracked he screamed so loud, "WHAT THE HELL DID EITHER OF THEM DO TO YOU?" breathing through his teeth he beat the man with a crowbar, "YOU WANNA CUT A FACE YOU CUT MINE! YOU WANNA KILL SOMEONE YOU KILL ME! YOU LEAVE MY WIFE AND CHILD OUT OF THIS!"_

_Seething he grunted and growled while beating the man until blood from his skull splashed onto his face, and Jack licked it off before turning to be cut right below his lip with a thick knife by a thug standing behind him. He didn't even feel it though, that was the funny thing. His tongue darted out to taste his own blood and he laughed, he laughed so hard his stomach hurt before tackling the guy down to the ground and swiftly stabbing his throat over and over and over again, giving his first Colombian Necktie as he pulled the tongue through the hole in his throat. _

_The cut below his lip would scar just lovely, but he didn't care. That was nothing compared to Mindy's face when the leader pinned him up against a wall and several guys beat him across the head with the butts of their guns, allowing their leader to cut a thin line right up the right side of Jack's mouth, giving him a long curled hook of an extended smile on the right which would forever scar in that position…much like what had happened to his wife. _

"So... I stick a razor in my mouth" he nodded at her, "and do this..."

_In front of a window in a sidestreet, Jack didn't do as much as whimper while sliding a small little razor along the left side of his face, unevenly searing the left side to complete the extended smile. He winced, his hands shook, but gazing at the bloodied result of one night's revenge he gave himself a new face. Now Mindy wouldn't feel so alone, they'd bear scars together. They did everything together what difference would one more thing tack onto the list? _

The Joker leaned back to show off his scars to Harley, who had tears streaming in buckets at him, "…to myself." He knew she was crying for him, but didn't do as much as acknowledge, "And you know what?"

_Jack walked in the door to their apartment a complete walking blood pool with a raw Chelsea grin in the dark. He headed into the bedroom and turned on the light before staggering to the bed and pulling the sheet down to shake Mindy awake, and once she woke up she released a blood-curdling scream and nearly backflipped off the bed. Her arms went out and her claws extended as she hovered about five feet off the ground, actually resting her head on the ceiling and shivering from fright, ice-blue glowing eyes wide with fear as her head shook frantically in denial._

"She can't stand the sight of me!" he growled with clenched teeth and a dreary shake of the head, such tangible pain in his voice Harley was crying audibly now.

_Dark brown eyes beet red and clouded with tears Jack cornered Mindy in their bedroom with quivering lips and whimpered with a choked sob. The large uneven cuts going up to create the illusion of an extended smile were still lined with blood and his plain white button-down workshirt completely drenched in blood that both did and didn't belong to him. Mindy shook her head in denial and cried loudly at his face, clutching her own cheeks which bore nearly identical marks when he shook his head and darted a large hand out, curling the long fingers over her child-sized ones and shaking his head._

"_You see, Kitten?" he croaked and nodded deliriously, "You don't have to be sad anymore, no…" he shook his head and pressed their foreheads together, keeping a hand locked on the back of her peroxide-blonde head, "We're the same now, Kitten…" he nodded and squeezed his eyes shut to disguise the unshed tears yet his entire face was pale and exhausted from both anguish and preventing the cries which needed to come out, "You don't need to cry anymore, you're beautiful, Kitten, I love you…" he paused a moment to tremble violently before screaming at her, "I LOVE YOU KITTEN I LOVE YOU!"_

"_Jack…!" a shake of the head while reaching up to touch the scars on his face, "What did you DO?"_

"_Kitten…!" so hysteric he wasn't even paying attention to her words, "I don't want you to CRY, Kitten you're so beautiful! Now we match forever"_

"_You did not need to do that!" shaking her head and sobbing to the point that she coughed a hand went to his cheeks and traced over the gaping wounds before he leaned forwards and they kissed…probably the most passionate kiss they ever did and ever would share. Only pulling back so their foreheads could rest together he shook violently and frantically smoothed her hair with a single large hand, "I…" his mouth hung open from the pain and he dropped his head to cough (and shed tears) before looking back up at her and pleading, "I'm so sorry, Kitten!"_

"_No" pouting her lips and shaking her head she didn't get it, "Why are you sorry? Do not be sorry-"_

"_I'm sorry for everything…!" he coughed and curled his lips before looking her in the eye and shaking his head, "I got us into this, I killed our baby-"_

"_No" shaking her head worriedly she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed the skin there hard, "No no no no…! Sssshh…" kissing the shell of his ear she combed her fingers through the longish blonde hair, "I love you…" she croaked and nodded, "I will always love you…more than anything in the world…no matter what" she sniffled and nodded reassuringly while kissing his hair, "We are stuck with each other no matter what."_

_His arms coiled around her and crushed her little body like an anaconda but she didn't care. At first he was calm just standing there buried in her neck, and then he choked._

"_Ssssshh…" pursing her lips and petting his hair she swallowed hard and cried silently before kissing his temple and bumping the bridge of her nose against his, "let's clean you up" weaving a hand into his scalp she tried to smile fondly and physically kissed both bloodied sides of his face. The man was with her since they were five absolutely nothing bugged her, "I don't care about the scars."_

Grabbing Harley's shoulders he forcefully shook her and kept his teeth barred, "She LEAVES…!"

_Mindy washed dishes in the sink quietly when two hands slid down her arms and wrapped around her torso, a head dropped to her shoulder like a lonely puppy and Mindy smiled thinly before craning her neck and catching a cleaned-up (yet horribly scarred—like her) Jack in a long kiss which turned into two kisses, and then three. Their mouths opened after brief nuzzling and their tongues glided against the other's when the phone rang. Of course Jack wanted to ignore it, but Mindy kissed him once more before holding up a finger and leaning over the counter to grab the crappy phone with a cord. She forgot to say hello._

"_Hello?" the familiar male voice asked gruffly, "Is this Miranda Napier?"_

"_Yes" Mindy nodded, recognizing the president of Jive Records who had recently dropped her. She was annoyed he pronounced her name wrong. _

_Frowning, Jack sat on the counter behind her and lifted the four-foot-ten young woman right in his lap to coddle her. _

"_Oh good" the president of Jive's voice softened and paused a beat, "Do you have a minute to spare?"_

"_Why?" simple, one-worded answers was a common problem she had due to schizophrenia which often made her emotionally flat as a board. _

"_Well…" he cleared his throat, "due to the untreated marks on your face I was forced to drop you…"_

_She didn't answer to that but wrinkled her nose and leaned back on Jack's chest. _

"_And after speaking with a close associate today in Los Angeles I realize I made that decision a bit prematurely…"_

"_Why?" she asked coldly._

"_My people have been listening to your demo nonstop" he began, "and have watched tapes of your live performances…and with some help you truly CAN be a beautiful young woman…"_

_Overhearing that part Jack scowled, "Hang up."_

"_Ssh!" Mindy turned and bopped his nose playfully, though he wasn't joking around. _

"_Kitten" he tried again but she shook her head at him and kept her attention on the call._

"_Understanding your financial difficulties I have reserved your seat on the next flight to Los Angeles which leaves tomorrow morning. My friend Dr. John Sherman is a cosmetic surgeon who believes not only can he fix your face and body, but is willing to do it completely probono and you'll come out ready for us. Your demo has been sampled and toyed with all we need is your body and we'll push that album's release until you're the top-selling artist in America"_

"_That good?" she smirked._

"_Miranda Marie…you are GOING to change the face of the music industry within a week."_

"_Where are we staying?"_

"_We?" he asked and confusedly she nodded though he couldn't see her._

"_Yeah…" she nodded, "me and my husband."_

"_Miranda" he sighed, "we only paid for you"_

"_I cannot go then" she shook her head with a shrug, "You do not understand I cannot go anywhere without my Jack he is my guardian-"_

"_I've already contacted your primary" he said firmly, "Dr. Halla will be in L.A. to supervise"_

"_No!' her voice spiked and she shook her head, "I am NOT going ANYWHERE without my husband. You take me, you take him too we-"_

"_Miranda…" he groaned, "I'm only giving you this offer once. I guarantee you pay within the next two weeks and it'll only spike into the millions from there once you begin to tour" _

"_Wait…" her lips pouted and she gasped, "Did you say getting PAID?"_

"_Yes…" he sighed, "I did. Why?"_

"_What time is my flight?"_

"_I'll have a limousine outside your apartment building at four-thirty tomorrow morning…a personal assistant will be in the car to help you organize."_

"_O-okay!" she nodded happily, "Thank you SO SO much thank you thank you!"_

"_A thousand apologies, Miranda…and thank you for reconsidering" he hung up and Mindy took a moment to squeal before throwing her arms around Jack's neck happily and kissing him._

"_THIS IS IT BABY!" she shrieked and giggled loudly while kissing him, though he was completely disheartened and stared at her like an abandoned child, so she pet his face and frowned, "Jack…?"_

"_You're leaving me…" he frowned and she pouted her lips and shook her head calmly._

"_Not for long, Jack!" leaning up she kissed him and grinned, "They're gonna fix me!"_

"_You don't need fixing"_

"_And then they're gonna release my album, Jack this is it! We'll FINALLY get the life we want, Jack! No more apartments, no more power getting shut on us, no more stupid landlords we will not have to answer to anyone, Jack! I can fix the scars!" she nodded and kissed him happily, "Everything will change Jack, just be patient I will call you every day and talk to you all day Jack because I LOVE you! You can quit working at that STUPID ugly plant and relax, I am getting PAID, Jack everything is finally getting better! Tell the landlord to take a powder and turn on the radio because THAT is the type of money we will have coming in!"_

"_It's the scars" his voice dropped dejectedly, "Isn't it?"_

"_Jack, what are you talking about?" she pet his face and they kissed, "It has nothing to DO with your scars, I do not care for them"_

"_You can't stand the sight of me so you're leaving"_

"_You are not being fair!" she slid off the counter so she could face him and shook her head, "Jack, it has NOTHING to do with you! My label PICKED ME BACK UP, Jack!"_

"_So you have to go away from me?" he said more as a statement than a question._

"_To L.A.?" she raised an eyebrow and nodded, "Yes. I HAVE to go to L.A. Jack that's where everything is. But it is NOT forever I will not let it be forever you know I cannot do anything without you there, Jack I love you!"_

"_I made you miserable…" his eyes dropped and he frowned when she shook her head and lightly tapped the side of his head._

"_Stop that, Jack you KNOW it is not true, alright? I do NOT want to leave you, but for US I have to! I have to provide for us, I want to take CARE of you! Like you always took care of me!"_

"_You're leaving me" he ran a hand over his mouth when she shook her head again and stamped her foot._

"_NO! Are you CRAZY? Do you need some of my paranoid pills? NO!" her teeth clenched, "NEVER!"_

_His face fell even more and he nodded while staring at the ground, "I understand"_

"_Clearly you do not" she shook her head while touching his knees, "I love the shit outta you my whole life Jack, this is my chance to make it better for us. I will fix us…" she touched her cheeks and nodded before kissing the scars on his face to further reassure, "you are SO beautiful…everything about you is perfect, you caught a bad break…you did not deserve this, any of this."_

"_Once you leave you're never coming back"_

"_Do not put words in my mouth" she grabbed his chin and scowled, "I HAVE to go before we both end up dead from this hellhole. I want you to quit that terrible job that makes you work like a dog and relax…" she reached up to kiss him before rubbing his shoulders, "relax for me, I love you. You are so stressed and down on yourself and I hate it. All new doors will open for us just PLEASE be patient…can you do that?"_

_Though everything in him was screaming not to, he forced a nod and kissed her._

_He watched her pack that night somberly, unable to take it for too long before reaching out and dipping his head into her belly covered by a purple nightgown. Kissing the silk-covered skin he lifted the nightgown before placing kisses on her bare middle and slid her underwear off before kissing even lower. He made love to her until they both passed out and if it weren't for that he would have kept going. He woke the next morning to an empty bed except a big lipstick heart on the wall. _

"NOW I see the funny side…!" he nodded at Harley with wide eyes.

_Every hour dragged like a lifetime and every day was an eternity. Jack stopped eating and vomited the rest, buried himself in her clothing, and broke the smoke detectors so he could fill the apartment with cigarette smoke. Ceasing paying attention to his dental hygiene the cigarettes had stained his teeth a dark shade of yellow since he'd been a smoker since he was twelve. She did call, but every time she called he was too delirious to pick up. In his mind she never called at all, she abandoned him. She was so worried she started calling the landlord to make sure Jack was alright only to hear that no one had heard hide or hair of Jack and was about to ask her the same thing._

_Successful surgery had removed the scars from her beautiful face along with a shit-ton of other procedures to completely alter the appearance of the beautiful young woman. The one-of-a-kind viper eyes had remained as such, but the rest of her? The bed-tanned skin and bleached-blonde hair remained intact, though the dry thick hip-length mess received a Japanese straightening treatment to try and lower the amount of hot tools it constantly needed not to frizz up. Her chin had been chiseled as well as rhinoplastic surgery to fix her nose. Fat injections were placed into her cheeks and lips to puff them up and massive DD breast implants were literally stuffed into her tiny frame that could barely support them, but luckily for her she had a thirty-six-inch circumference back and could kind of carry them. Her face had been plastered everywhere and the young woman truly was the buzz around not only Hollywood, but the rest of America and now Canada._

_The entire apartment building buzzed about how the real-life mini-Barbie had finally broken into the spotlight and once her first single called 'Away From Me' hit radio that was all she wrote. Mindy Stratus (stage name; she had never gone by 'Mindy' before in her life) and her band Stratusfear became the juggernaut of the entertainment industry. The landlord would know; she completely paid off the apartment for Jack and sent a note with spending money in it for him despite being seemingly ignored by him. _

_He hadn't been ignoring her at all though…he was just too inebriated and depressed to notice the phone ringing. An envelope with 'Jack' written on top with a bunch of hand-drawn hearts was slipped under the door, and once he dragged himself over to open it inside was in big red letters, 'I LOVE YOU! Come to L.A.!' a heart and then, 'Kitten' was written at the bottom with a happy face. Inside the envelope was enough money to get on the next flight out of Toronto forever, and he seriously considered it. _

"_The hell you think you're doin', boy?" _

"_What?" Jack panted with a gasp and spun around in disbelief; that was the first post-mortem sighting of his father…and the early stages of his own case of schizophrenia. The paranoia before Mindy left, the chain smoking, the seclusion, the self-mutilation…it all happened so fast he didn't even know it. _

"_Runnin' off to some other country for that little whore" his father sneered while pacing Jack like a vulture, actually taking the envelope from his hands and laughing, "Ya think she gives a good damn about ya?"_

_Jack trembled and nodded meekly when his father leaned in his face and snarled._

"_It's all a good LIE, boy. That's what those crazies do, they LIE…she'll cheat you, hurt you…she abandoned you already and left you for dead"_

"_No"_

"_She ain't ever coming back again!"_

_Jack ran a hand through his hair and trembled, shaking his head frantically when his father grabbed his face and backed him against the wall._

"_Look at ye'self…monster. Ugly fucking monster no wonder she left ya. You're worthless, weak, unworthy of a dog ne'ermind that BABY ya couldn't hold onto…what's 'er name? Christina?"_

"_Carly" Jack corrected hoarsely, though his father pretended not to hear him, "I SAID CARLY!"_

"_Never got over it, did ya?" his father smirked at Jack's violently shaking hands, "She did. She never wanted your baby. She never wanted YOU. Nobody would ever want you. Ya had one friend and she left you. She's never comin' back. You're better off dead and so is everyone else. No one needs YOU takin' up space for someone else who deserves it. The world will eat you alive because you're a FREAK. You're CRAZY. Terrible husband, kill yourself. Tried to be a good boy, live by the rules, all ya cared about was money…money burns…everything burns, don't ya know it? She burns TOO if ya set 'er on-"_

"_NO!" he screamed before bolting into the kitchen and tearing cabinets apart, ripping open the containers of Mindy's antipsychotics and popping them like candy without water until the presence of his father went away. _

_A cold sweat tricked all over his body and he started crying harder than he ever did in his life (and he was famous for never shedding a tear even after his mother's murder), leaning on the counter to support himself the bitter tears leaked so fast and they laughed at him. Shadow men in all corners of the rooms laughed at him, telling him to rot in hell even after popping Mindy's medication. Now he knew what the poor baby went through and despised it. He still possessed the list of exactly what she needed, so he went out and got them all in her name. _

_Her pills became his best friends, his only friends. Mindy would keep sending him money in envelopes to come out and see her, yet he didn't listen he was too delusional. His life was over because she was gone. The one person who got him through nineteen years of shit was gone and he had it. The voices taunted him, laughed at him more, his father appearing here and there to push him around and try to drag him down to hell with him. _

_Unable to take the light, he taped up the windows with duct tape and smashed every light bulb in the house with his bare hands, and yet they still laughed._

"_LEAVE ME ALONE!" he shrieked to no one, practically ripping his hair out and sobbing drearily, "GO AWAY! GO AWAY!"_

_Stumbling into the kitchen pale and beyond deteriorated from malnutrition, smoking, and lack of sunlight he grabbed Mindy's pills and swallowed them in huge doses. They made him sick and pass out, he could barely move for days sometimes and the voices came back to taunt him more. Screaming he bashed his skull against a wall until he developed huge welts and bled, whimpering and cowering in a corner because the voices knew they were stronger than him. He carved 'DIE' in his own arm and just stared at it before smearing the blood and getting a new idea…maybe he could die. Maybe he could die and they wouldn't come for him anymore, they would finally leave him be. With his lighter he went to work, burning off each and every fingertip so there was nothing but singed skin and he didn't have to worry about his teeth because he'd never seen a dentist in his life. _

"_BURN!" the shadow people cackled at him and nodded happily, "BURN! BURN! BURN! YOU ARE NOT WORTHY IN THE EYES OF GOD!" _

"_SHE LEFT YOU TO ROT!" they nodded happily and he clutched his temples before turning to her pills even more and swallowing them until the voices finally shut up._

_They came back the next day after he woke up, perched around the counters of the kitchen where he fell unconscious. The phone rang, but it sounded to him like a shrill cry from Mindy and he screamed. Frantically he grabbed for the phone until he disconnected the line and a red glow entered the room._

"_You lived by all these RULES and look what they did to you…" a deep elderly woman's voice told him while digging her talons into his shoulders, "LOOK what they DID TO YOU!" _

"_You tried so hard, Jack!" little girl voices teased him, "Tried so hard, yes you did! Like a good little boy you tried so hard!"_

"_And you FAILED!" the old woman's growl told him, "You FAILED as a husband! As a son and a father! You failed you'll always fail!"_

"_Everyone bossed you!" the little girls giggled, "All the time, boss boss boss!"_

"_You have NOTHING!" the woman whispered sharply at him, "But you can make up for it…"_

"_Such a NICE boy, Jack!"_

"_You can repent your sins if you come with me…come with me and all the pain will go away."_

"_Who are you?" he groaned miserably when his chin was lifted and she smiled a manic grin which shocked him to his very core._

"_Why…" she chuckled darkly, "I'm Chaos."_

The Joker leaned back so Harley could see the manic grin which spread across his face, "Now I'm always smiling!"

"_Meem are you SURE this is a good idea?" Trish panicked while sitting in Mindy's little black Porsche Carrera, "He's been ignoring both YOU and your PAYCHECKS for over a year! The landlord TOLD YA he disconnected the line"_

"_And I wanna know why" a raven-haired, icy-skinned Mindy frowned while getting out of the car, "You stay here, I do not care. I HAVE to see my Jack"_

"_I can NOT believe you turned down Vogue for this!" Trish shook her head with a wrinkled nose, "NOBODY turns down Anna Wintour and lives to tell the tale"_

"_Look at me" Mindy snapped Trish's chin to her, "Does it look like I give a fuck?"_

"_When you're a rising star?" she raised a shapely eyebrow, "Yeah. You do WHATEVER your manager tells you!"_

"_I don't care" she shook her head with a growl, "I could not come home for a year-"_

"_And CLEARLY your uh…" she pointed up to the floor Mindy lived on, "your Kangaroo Boy up there don't wanna come out and see you when you fed him plane tickets."_

_Mindy's face fell and she hugged herself before shrugging, "Maybe he was busy or did not want to go out there."_

"_You're ridiculous" Trish shook her head with a scowl, "All these years with him, just let go. I bet as we speak there's another chickadee in there-"_

_SMACK!_

_Trish gasped and held her stinging cheek as her sister gave her the evil eye before getting out of the car and leaving the keys in the ignition. She truly didn't care if Trish drove off without her. _

"_Jack!" the lunatic shouted while bolting into the building since she had a key and banging on the landlord's door just so he could open it and catch a glimpse of her hip-length raven mess of hair as she bolted up the steps instead of the rickety old elevator in her little white babydoll dress and opted to literally fly up since nobody was there, "JACK!" giggling she burst through the hallways and fumbled with the key in the lock._

_Looking up from the street Trish had JUST caught a glimpse of the boarded-up window, now getting highly nervous with her cash cow sister just happily gallivanting off to grab her Jack and drag him with her. _

"_JACK!" throwing open the door with a huge smile on her now-flawless face she peered around with a frown from the darkness of the place at first, and raised an eyebrow, "Jack?"_

_She tried to flick on the light but it didn't work, so pulling out her cell phone she shone the light around to see how everything was strewn about, dried and fresh blood smeared and splattered all over the place, as were words written in black marker such as, 'WHY SO SERIOUS?'. THAT phrase in particular was the one she caught the most. Things were not good._

"_Jack?" she stepped on an empty Clozapine container…empty containers were everywhere, "Oh no…" shaking her head and whimpering she held a hand over her mouth and curled her lips nervously, "Jack!"_

_BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Schizophrenic herself, she shrieked and extended her claws instinctively, ducking into a low defensive stance and entering the bedroom to find a silhouette of her Jack there since she could see in the dark. His back was to the wall and he repetitively drove a knife into the wall._

"_JACK?" the moment he heard her voice he turned, and she screamed bloody murder. _

_His beautiful face, along with the horrid scars, was pale and dark purple circles surrounded his sleepless eyes. His teeth a deep stain of yellow from the cigarette butts she found everywhere and he cocked his head while staring at her making repetitive, involuntary, and purposeless movements such as grimacing, tongue protrusion, lip smacking, puckering and pursing of his lips, and rapid eye blinking._

"_You're…" he paused and shook his head while licking his lips, "you're not real."_

_The very tone he used was off. That husky Australian accent faded to complete absence and was replaced by this high, almost child-molester type pitch. _

"_No Jack…" she shook her head calmly and approached him despite the nameless fear, "I am real…I'm real Jack" reaching up she touched his face, "See?"_

_One of his hands covered hers though he said nothing. The way he was looking at her it wasn't really her, but almost some vague spot on the ceiling and she wept._

"_Why didn't you answer me, Jack? I called you every day, I did!"_

"_No you didn't"_

"_Yes I DID, Jack!" she growled and hissed like a feral cat, "EVERY DAY! I SENT YOU PLANE TICKETS TO COME SEE ME! WHAT DID YOU DO?" her face hardened and SMACK! He got one right across the face. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOURSELF?"_

"_Dead"_

"_NO YOU'RE NOT!" she screamed and barred her teeth while slamming his back to the wall, and he laughed at it…only it wasn't his normal laugh. It was a harsh, nasal, wheezy cackle that made tears stream down her face and she shrieked. "JACK WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? JACK! ANSWER ME!" her breathing hastened to cardiac arrest levels and she growled, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?"_

"_Who?" he grinned manically with those yellow teeth as if this were a game and she screamed, sobbing into his chest and soaking his shirt quite shortly with her tears. _

"_Do you need help?" beginning to rattle involuntarily she gripped his shirt in her little fists and nodded frantically, "I can get you help, Jack, I can! Are you like me?" swallowing hard she looked about and stared at all the anti-psychotics which had been popped like candy, "Are you like ME, Jack? Is that it? Do you need help, darling?"_

"_Kitten…" shaking his head he snorted and licked his lips before tucking some lengthy raven hair behind her ear, "What makes you think I need ANYTHING?"_

_He couldn't see her that well, but he could feel her just fine. Once she took a step closer and stopped nestling into his chest she wrapped an arm around his neck and kissed him, trailing up all over his grotesquely scarred face and greasy blonde hair when he realized her icy skin was smooth to the touch._

"_Why…so…serious?" he asked in a gruff tone, grabbing her mouth and searching for cuts when she sniffled and shook her head, "You stopped SMILING, Kitten!" his eyes blinked rapid-fire and she opened her mouth to cry so hard no sound came out before burying her face in his neck and trailing her lips all over the clammy skin. _

"_HOW can I smile?" she shook her head and pet his unwashed hair, "LOOK at you!"_

"_It's the scars"_

"_I don't CARE about the fucking scars! I want my Jack!"_

"_He's…" he grimaced and waved a hand around before shaking his head and smacking his lips, "he's dead…yes he is, he's dead."_

"_It's not FUNNY, Jack! This is not a JOKE!"_

_He cackled again in response to that, forcing Mindy to back away and shake her head in fear before slumping to the ground and burying her face in her hands to cry. His head cocked and he watched her like a science experiment before laughing so hard his eyes watered. _

_Exiting the building with eyes redder than anything Trish had ever seen, Mindy entered the car stiffly with a slam and Trish immediately placed a hand to her arm._

"_What's the matter?"_

"_Nothing. He's dead" lifting her eyes she choked before nodding at Trish and sniffling, "There was blood everywhere he died. There is no body, but he is dead." _

_That was the death of Jack Andrew Napier, and the birth of the Joker. _

_He did follow Mindy wherever she went for six years, stalking the shadows while perfecting his path towards his new goal in life…serving as an agent of pure chaos. Miranda too had donned an alter ago to watch over and try to somewhat learn from him and her name became Minx. She was there for the first time he donned the horrifically uneven makeup and poorly dyed his hair green…she was the one who did it. They conceived Amber in a boiler room that day and the rest of their children over the years were made in similar locations. _

_Right after Chelsea's birth the Joker fled to Gotham while Mindy went to and fro with her career, ending up in Manhattan and taking root there to perfect her own craft as Minx to assist her 'late' husband unknown to him. _

_What once was had been long lost, but not forgotten. Never forgotten. Not even he wanted to forget as much as he claimed to._

"Would you like to know how long the human body can survive after the aorta is slit laterally?" the Joker asked in a calm, high whisper while holding the knife to her throat.

Harley coughed at first and tried to whimper, which was too slow for him clearly so one careless swipe of the hand and the room was painted a new color.

"Four to seven seconds" he stared at the little second-hand on a clock mounted on the wall, counting down and then checked to make sure she stopped breathing, "CAREFUL what you wish for, Harley…you just might get it."

* * *

"_Revenge, at first though sweet,_

_Bitter ere long back on itself recoils."_

_JOHN MILTON,__Paradise Lost_


	51. Chapter 51: Scratch

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Waking up in Bruce's bedroom after fainting into Batman the only thing the frazzled Mindy saw was Tryg staring at her in the corner of the room a complete pulp after the fall from the top of Bruce's penthouse.

Paparazzi had swarmed Bruce Wayne and Mindy Stratus to the point that relocation to Wayne Manor was imperative. This was Mindy's first time awake and both Trish and Alfred sat with the kids, neither of them really saying a word. Amber HAD to go off with Alfred and vent; he knew who her father was thanks to her telling him.

"Tryggy…!" she croaked with a shake of the head and sniffled, "TRYGGY! Come to Mommy, please!"

Jolting awake from the shrill cry, Bruce frowned upon noticing Mindy was screaming at no one in the corner and adjusted his embrace since he fell asleep holding her.

"Darling…!" he frowned though she paid no mind. Ice-blue eyes zoned on her dead son and she wept loudly while beckoning for him.

"TRYGGER!" her raspy voice begged, "TRYGGER!"

"You let me die, Mommy…" Tryg cried while reaching out for her, "I'm scared, you let me die. Why did you let me die, Mommy?"

"NOOO!" backhanding Bruce across the face, Mindy literally flopped off the high-rise bed and tried to crawl for the corner, "TRYGGER!"

"MIRANDA!" diving off the bed, Bruce managed to pull the struggling feline up, though outside of shrieking and reaching for the corner she made no reaction. Bruce had to hang his head and swallow hard while pushing the lengths of hair behind her and kiss her throat.

…

"It…" Amber sniffled and shook her head while squeezing Alfred's hand, "They're blaming my Daddy, aren't they?"

Alfred hung his head because he did feel partially responsible for the death of the boy.

"Dearest…" he sat down on a couch with her and held her forearms, "He left his mark all over the crime scene"

"It wasn't him" Amber shook her head firmly and scowled, "My Daddy was with ME! We weren't even HOME! Ask my sisters, he was with US! It was HARLEY who pushed Tryggy, HARLEY QUINN!" she started sobbing and shaking her head, "Daddy would NEVER hurt us, NEVER NEVER!"

"Amber Rose…" frowning he smoothed her hair and exhaled calmly, "it was a simple order he could have-"

"He's not a monster" she shook her head with a cold glaze over her eyes, "He's a good daddy." Swallowing hard she took a deep breath and looked Alfred in the eye, "My Aunt Trisha is a cop…I don't care what Mommy says if I have to tell her the truth about Daddy I will-"

"And by doing so you place the lot of us—including your father—in imminent danger" he frowned and pet her hair, "I know this is all nearly impossible for you to understand at only eight years old, but both your parents and Master Bruce know where lines must be drawn"

"My Daddy has no rules" she shook her head and shrugged.

"But he does…" Alfred nodded, "only your mother knows your father's true identity, do you believe that was done by accident?"

"Bruce knows who he is" she shrugged plainly, "He hasn't done anything about it"

"Which is what separates him from the rest of the curve"

"That or he has nothing to use against Daddy except us…and he would NEVER do that"

"He loves you ALL as if you were his own…" he smiled thinly, "he makes nothing personal."

"Daddy doesn't care that Bruce is Batman either" she shrugged indifferently and tried to smile thinly, "He thought it was funny for five minutes he says, but now he just doesn't care."

"After freezing funds and assassinating the CEO of Wayne Enterprises he claims himself bored…"

…

For the next three days all Mindy did was scream…and it was no ordinary woman's cry. It was this shrill, eardrum-piercing, blood-curdling shriek which had shattered glass and forced everyone in Wayne Manor (especially Bruce) to wear earplugs. She refused food of any kind, so Bruce had to liquefy everything as well as sedate her as much as it pained him to do so. Her dosage of medications was spiked to keep her like a vegetable yet still she frightened all who entered Bruce's bedroom with those eyes…those viper eyes. They were cold, dead, and glowing with feline slit pupils. Nobody had eyes like Mindy to begin with, and now they were being used against everyone as if she could turn others to stone. Trygger's funeral had to keep getting pushed back because the bereaved mother refused to even acknowledge her son was dead. She saw him everywhere, she cradled him, hugged, spoke to him, told him how she would never let him in the dark…

"No, Daddy…" Thorn shook her head while walking with Oxa on a black leash (for mourning purposes; everyone including Alfred and Bruce wore all black constantly) through the courtyard with Mindy's favorite miniature horse Bailey trotting alongside her, "she still screams."

She and Scarlett were together with Chelsea wandering alongside with Stickers in a harness and Fievel being dragged along too. Thorn was on the phone with her father, who seemed to be much better off than her mother considering the circumstances.

"Ask him…" Scarlett tapped Thorn's arm and looked up before continuing, "ask him what he did when Mommy screamed. Ask him"

"I am, alright?" Thorn groaned before rolling her eyes and sniffling, "What did you do when she screamed, Daddy?"

Scarlett nodded satisfactorily at that and squeezed Thorn's hand while Chelsea tried to sit on Bailey. There was a sigh and a pause on the Joker's end before he exhaled.

"Get the Batman out of the room and put her on the phone."

"What if she eats my head?" Thorn frowned when he chuckled darkly before sighing.

"She hasn't turned to cannabis yet, that's a good sign."

…

With the excuse of Chelsea wanting to play with Daddy (both Bruce and the Joker were 'Daddy' to her), Bruce reluctantly left the uncomfortably distant and silent Mindy with Thorn and Scarlett. The phone was held up to her ear and they sat there holding it for her until the unimaginable happened and she nodded a response. It wasn't much, but enough to get her to agree to attend the funeral.

…

"Detective, PLEASE!" Gordon pleaded at the taped-off scene where Tryg landed after he fell from Bruce's balcony as Trish scoured the area as best she could with a scowl, "We've got a lead, we know who did it; we're out looking for him as we speak"

"It's just…" Trish lifted one of the many evidence baggies to stare at a Joker card, "has he ever killed a kid?"

"Not YET" Gordon's eyebrows rose and he frowned, placing a hand over her shoulder, "Go home, Detective. You have deepest sympathy from the department"

"Has there ever been a copycat?" her full lips pouted and she stood back up while tucking a lengthy piece of chocolate hair behind her small ear, "He seems like a popular guy in this town"

"I wouldn't be surprised…" Gordon rubbed the back of his neck while staring at the card, "though we'd have no way of knowing" he reminded her with a shrug and a shake of the head, "he's got no identifiable DNA, no prints, dental, nothing."

…

"Alright, Mommy…" Amber sighed while sitting Mindy up at a vanity table Bruce had imported from France just for her and clamped the Chi hair straightener in her hands a few times to test it out before grabbing a frizzed hip-length piece of raven hair and beginning to straighten it for the funeral.

Mindy wore a long black dress and Amber calmly took the hour and a half to straighten her mother's mop before carefully applying her makeup so it didn't contrast with the raven hair and icy skin for a Morticia Addams complex. That wasn't who her mother was, and never would she ever be such. Bruce lingered in the background as Amber did what she did best, being the mother hen for her own parents. She didn't mind though, that was the cliché-breaker. Having a mother and a best (only) friend rolled into one was something she wouldn't give up for anything in the world. To try and lighten things a bit, Amber had been playing the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack since that was her mother's favorite play. Bruce in particular wasn't a fan of operas for several personal reasons, but being that his wife-to-be lived for it he caved.

"She likes Oliver! too," Amber said to Bruce as he hovered behind Mindy and massaged her shoulders, "have you ever seen it?"

"Play or film?"

"Both" Amber shrugged before smiling fondly at Mindy and kissing the top of her head, "We own the movie we always watch it."

"I don't think I've seen it" of course he hadn't, "Maybe we could watch together if Mommy's up to it."

"I know why Mommy likes it" she nodded while brushing a bit of bronzer onto her mother's sickly pale cheeks, "She feels like Nancy all the time; she has a mean husband but is always happy anyway."

Bruce frowned and sat next to Mindy on the vanity, looking at her reflection in the mirror before kissing her neck chastely and petting Amber's hair, "Look, I know I'm not your father or even a viable replacement for him…"

"What?" looking at him with wide eyes she snorted, "Are you kidding?" she smiled weakly before shaking her head and smirking, "You're BATMAN! Of all the boyfriends Mommy could have I'm happy she picked you…you really love her."

They smiled at the other before she perked and raised a finger.

"Oh!" tapping his muscular bicep she got his attention, "Mommy is a good wife too! She cooks AMAZING and likes to play with you and doesn't cheat and has lots of money and has obsessive compulsive disorder REAL bad! And then lots of times she does THIS…" she sighed while motioning to the state Mindy was in, "Mommy goes VERY quiet and doesn't know anything and gets very flat until BAM! She goes CRAZY!" catching the way Bruce was looking at her she nodded while hugging the despondent Mindy close, "When are you getting married?"

…

The funeral was packed, but Mindy wasn't even in her right mind to notice anything. Her eyes not only fixed on the casket, but her face had become practically black from mascara which Amber had spent so long applying. The kids all stood beside Alfred and Trish as the ceremony progressed, but once Chelsea spotted a figure in the distance wearing a dark grey suit she lit up. She didn't understand the concept of death anyway so none of it could really touch her the way it did everyone else; instead she slipped from beside Trish and sprinted through the cemetery towards the trees where a bare-faced clown silently watched the ceremony with a blank expression on his face.

Bruce cradled an arm around Mindy and was the only thing keeping her standing. Paparazzi barriers were placed everywhere as well as Gotham police officers stationed around the cemetery to protect the prince of Gotham and his bride-to-be's privacy as they mourned. Amber knew where Chelsea skittered off to without anyone noticing for she too had picked her father up in the distance watching from afar. She only wished her mother was aware of the Joker's presence. Having Bruce there was nice and more than helpful because she was on the verge of biting a cyanide capsule, but who she truly needed was the father who convinced her to come in the first place. Yes, he was a master manipulator so him talking her into doing something came natural and was no sweat for him considering he knew her so well, but his presence would have boded well for her nutty mother. At her worst Amber truly believed her mother was more deranged than her father.

"Daddy you CAME!" Chelsea cheered and bounced while hugging the Joker's lower legs, almost toppling him over at first before he realized it was her and grinned. "You really CAME!"

"Sssshh…" bending and scooping her off the ground he gave his youngest child a hard kiss on the lips before petting her face and pressing the sides of their heads together while watching the services, "Of COURSE I came, Princess."

"No Stickers" she frowned and petted his face like he was a kitten of hers, squealing as he leaned and kissed her again before pouting his lips at her.

"Why not?"

Her little nose wrinkled and she made her best angry face, "Aunt TRISHA! Meanest EVER!"

"Yet another similarity between you and I" sighing he leaned against the tree and adjusted his hold on her.

"I got baby!" immediately she reached into her black Burberry coat and pulled out her favorite soft baby doll, shoving it in his face until he went to kiss it, but then she yanked it away and hugged the doll before putting a finger to her lips, "SSSSHH!" her blue eyes which were already the size of pancakes got even bigger as she whispered in some demonic goblin voice, "TRISHA!"

"Wanna make a deal?" he licked his lips and glanced around before looking her in the eye, and she paused before nodding, "I'll keep…" he eyed the doll and jerked his head towards it, "THAT…a secret IF…" his eyes widened and he shook his head, "you promise never to use that freaky voice ever again."

Though he really wasn't acting too much like a bereaved parent, the way he saw it all that crying and shit did nothing because the kid was still going to be dead afterwards. There's no gain or real purpose to crying other than unloading feelings which he really didn't have to begin with. He also had four other children and—most importantly—the wife. His father had insulted him by saying of his children the little one was his heart, and she was Autistic so she'd never know or understand it any better than he did. Already he had avenged his son by making a spectacle out of Dr. Harleen Quinzel…now he was going to use it to reel in Kitten. Sharing her with Batman was actually something that he really didn't mind and found almost exhilarating, but there would be no wedding as long as he had breath in him.

…

Bruce's head hung in his hands as he sat on Amber's bed late one night with Alfred and could only keep his eyes glued to the floor. In so many ways he felt he'd failed Miranda and now all had been reduced to this. The paranoid schizophrenic apparently also had a case of Multiple Personality Disorder which she would never be freed of according to Amber. Mindy was the one he knew and Miranda was the crazy one, which actually was the real Miranda Marie Napier. Though Mindy was highly easy to please, Miranda was a nightmare. She lived in a constant delusional world and tried to kill herself literally every twenty seconds. He was forced to remove basically everything from the bedroom and lock her in there. Sheets even had to be pulled from the bed because she tried to hang herself with them, and though he would want to spend every waking moment ensuring she was alright he had a life to lead. Bruce Wayne was caring for his mentally ill popstar fiancée, yes, but that didn't give Batman an excuse. Quite frankly he didn't want to leave Alfred alone with her god forbid she went haywire. He needed someone expendable.

Amber had been giving the Joker regular updates and all he could do was laugh. He knew better than ANYONE what living with her was like, and it was no fucking picnic so all this to him was hilarious. Could he snap her out of any schizo funk just by walking in the room? Sure, he did it for twenty-five years he could consider himself a professional. She did listen to him though, the crazy bitch. She took in every word he said like it came straight from God himself even if it was a lie. She loved him in ways that made people sick to think about.

"I completely ruined her" Bruce's muffled voice replied from his large hands which made both Amber and Alfred exchange glances.

"How so, Master Bruce?" Alfred sighed as Amber rubbed Bruce's shoulders lightly and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind like her mother often did. A long breath and Bruce spoke back up.

"The Joker had to have found out about us, he already knew who I am…he knew about Miranda which means he HAD to know the kids-"

"You're reading it too much" she discreetly defended her father and Alfred, from her, knew the true story behind Trygger's murder, "Anybody can throw down a Joker card to blame him."

"I…" he changed topic without realizing it, "I love her…everything about her, the illness is subdued with medication if I can only get her to take it-"

"She won't" Amber shook her head with a sigh, especially irritated because she knew who COULD get her to take her meds without even asking.

"I can't…" lifting his eyes to Alfred, he had to shake his head and curl his lips, "I can't deal with her, I love her, but I can't—I don't know what to do she's so sick"

"So what does this mean you are suggesting, Master Wayne?" he frowned with a tilt of the head, and Amber bit her lip.

"I don't know…" he waved a hand to come up with something, "A nurse? An aid? Someone to monitor her constantly until she snaps out of it"

"She won't" Amber said while lightly stroking Bruce's soft dark hair, "Mommy's tricky. If you talk to her and tell her the truth and say how much you love her and tell her how special she is and how everyone loves her maybe she will listen. All schizo people are like that."

"I've tried" he pinched the bridge of his nose, but then groaned, "But I can't leave her for periods of time, I could never"

"But at the same TIME, Master Bruce" Alfred's tone hardened, "Spending your life locked in a cage with a mentally ill young woman isn't what you want either."

"So I hire an aid…" he sighed and tried to weigh it out in his head, but either way he lost. The only established fact was the need to rehabilitate his fiancée and whatever it would take to do so.

Amber sent a text message to the Joker saying Bruce couldn't handle her anymore was going to hire an aid, and the Joker only replied, 'WHITE!'. What exactly that meant they would find out the hard way.

…

Bruce was lured down a long hallway by the sound of sheetrock being scraped repetitively with the same pressure. He hadn't checked Miranda all day because it was simply impossible to be in a room with her. She spoke nothing coherent, rocked her dead son constantly whispering in this hoarse faraway voice, and just stared with those viper eyes. Even as Minx he thought they were beautiful and exotic but now? They solely were the most frightening objects on earth. He would sooner be trapped in a bat sanctuary WITH the Joker than alone with those eyes for another minute. If, for some reason, they ever were to converse the subject the Joker had zero fear of anything never mind his own wife. Admittedly certain things just kind of crossed the line for him such as his five-year-old speaking in a demonic goblin voice and Lady Gaga's meat dress, but nothing truly terrified him. He would have told Batman to grow a pair and it wasn't like she was going to rip his face off with one look. She was part animal; animals had warning coloration and defense mechanisms…those predatory eyes were one of them. Underneath that cold gaze she was a fluffy little kitten who needed to be petted and mindbent so she could snap out of the funk. He would never TELL Batman that though; he'd rather find out from his daughters just how miserably he was failing or watch the news to hear Bruce Wayne's publicists yap about how 'difficult' it is for Bruce to cope with the 'troubled star'. Just tell it like it is; the crazy bitch had paranoid schizophrenia coupled with multiple personality disorder. Mindy was the strong protecting personality for Miranda, the host.

"Miranda?" he frowned while heading down the hallway as the scratching got louder and he swallowed hard before pulling out the key and unlocking the door, "Miranda?"

SCRRRRATCH! SCRRRATCH! SCRRRRATCH! SCRRRRRACTH! SCRRRATCH! SCRRRRATCH! SCRRRATCH! SCRRRRATCH! SCRRRRATCH! SCRRRRRATCH! SCRRRRATCH! SCRRATCH!

Only after craning his neck to the corner towards the voices did he find her curled in a ball. Lengthy raven mess completely obscured her face from view as she just sat there, scratching the wall in the same spot with one gigantic clawed hand, though the claws were caked with blood and highly cracked, bruised because she'd chipped the vein in there so they turned black.

SCRRRATCH! SCRRRATCH! SCRRRATCH! SCRRRATCH!

"Miranda…" shaking his head in dismay he started for the corner when the next horror made him freeze on the spot. Claws decorated the floor…HER claws. Bloodied cat claws she tore straight off while tearing at that same blood-stained spot on the wall. Her right hand trembled violently in her lap, completely covered in blood and missing fingernails entirely, "Oh Miranda NO!" darting to the wall he desperately tried to rip her away from it and hold her compact, "No, no, no…!" his nose dipped into her hair and his head shook, "No! Darling, what have you done?"

Ignoring the feral grunts and whimpers along with the struggle to gain freedom on her part, Bruce studied her hand with missing nails and kissed all of her fingertips, ignoring her screams and cries from her own self-mutilation.


	52. Chapter 52: Hello Beautiful

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"Will they grow back?" Scarlett frowned and hugged Mallow Mars as Alfred studied the damage done to Mindy's claws, and one hand was completely bare.

"In time" Alfred responded with a faint nod, "Though I'm afraid Mommy is going to lose the ones on this hand as well so she does not catch infection"

"She ripped herself apart" Bruce kissed the top of Mindy's head since she sat in his lap giving everyone in the room that blank stare people hated, "I don't know what to do anymore."

"They used to keep Mommy in a little white padded room" Scarlett sighed while climbing onto the bed to kiss her mother's temple and play with her hair, "All tied up so she couldn't hurt anyone" her eyes welled and she sniffled before nestling into her mother's lap even though she was way too tall for that at this point (Mindy was a tiny little thing), "They put cotton and stuff all on her tongue so she couldn't bite. Daddy used to get scared when he visited her."

"Did you ever have a helper for Mommy?" Bruce asked the seven-year-old while smoothing her hair and Scarlett pouted her lips before shaking her head.

"Dr. Halla always came over and drugged Mommy up"

"I spoke to him already" Alfred placed a hand over Bruce's shoulder, "He suggested a live-in nurse and cognitive therapy to rid the post-traumatic symptoms."

"Is that all this is?" he pouted his lips and furrowed his brow, "Post-traumatic stress?"

"P-T-S-D and Schizophrenia have been found to co-occur."

"So this is just the whammy here" he pinched the bridge of his nose and Alfred could only sigh.

"Naturally, Sir."

…

The doorbell rang

"I got it! I got it!" Thorn shouted upon bolting to the door and Scarlett shook her head and shoved her.

"NO! I got the door!"

"No ME!"

"ME!"

"GO AWAY!"

"No YOU go away!"

Pulling open the door they found a stout oriental woman with her bags and screamed.

"BRUUUUCE! BRUUUUCE! CRAZY LADY AT THE DOOR! CRAZY LADY AT THE DOOR!"

They ran right past Alfred, who fondly watched them go before giving the woman at the door a nod, "And YOU must be Esther" he showed her in with a weak smile, "Welcome to Wayne Asylum; what you just saw are our Tourette's twins. We also house an Autistic, an obsessive-compulsive, a paranoid schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder, and a male of constant post-traumatic stress…" he relished the expression on Esther's face smugly, "Who would you like to meet next?"

…

Bruce came home from 'work' the next day with all four little girls after picking them up from their respective dance classes (Amber and Chelsea were strictly ballet/lyrical while the twins were hip hop) to find Alfred gently arguing with the completely disgruntled and traumatized Esther, which confused him.

"Is there a problem?" Bruce frowned when Alfred brightened at the sight of him and gave him a nod while holding Esther's shoulders, heading over.

"Would you have any knowledge of Miss Stratigias's opinion of Chinamen?"

The girls' hands went over their mouths and they giggled uncontrollably, though Bruce was lost.

"Other than that's her label for them, not really…" he shrugged when Alfred just had to sigh and shake his head at Bruce.

"Well Esther here claims Miss Stratigias to be a flaming racist" Alfred nodded with a point to Esther when Amber had to wander out of the room and call her father.

"Daddy?" she had to cover her mouth to hide the giggle before speaking, "Did you know Mommy was racist and didn't tell anybody?"

That classic wheezed cackle sounded on the other end and Amber had to roll her eyes with a smirk. She took that as an affirmative.

"Well um according to this fine Chinalady right here…" Alfred ignored whatever she was screaming at him in Chinese and Amber was holding the phone towards the foyer so the Joker could hear everything going on in the room, and he was laughing so hard tears were probably leaking out, "Miss Stratigias came at her with a pair of scissors attempting to stab her to death whilst shouting racial slurs."

Bruce ran a hand over his face to hide the snort. Mean or not it was funny as hell.

…

"YOU GET THAT FUCKIN' CHINK AWAY FROM ME!" with barred teeth Mindy shrieked while flailing her bandaged arms about with a pair of scissors while searching for any sign of Esther, "I'LL FUCKIN KILL HER! I'LL FUCKIN' KILL HER I WILL!"

"I bet you will" Bruce kissed the top of her head and smiled wryly as she kicked and screamed to lunge at the woman who wasn't there any longer.

"FUCKIN CHINK! YOU KEEP THAT DIRTY CHINK AWAY FROM ME!"

"Oh MY…!" Alfred's eyes widened as he looked to Bruce, "Quite a fresh mouth that one has…"

"I think we need a new nurse" Bruce nodded while petting Mindy's hair and the volatile young woman launched herself forwards hissing and spitting but he restrained her.

"I DON'T WANT NO FUCKIN' NIGGER!" she scowled and clenched a fist when Bruce wrestled the scissors out of her hand and she threw herself to the ground, screaming and clutching her temples frantically, beginning to rip her own hair out when Bruce pinned her arms to her sides and avoided a headbutt.

…

They went through at least three more nurses, all of them running out screaming from the pint-sized terrorist locked up in her tower even though Bruce had gotten wiser to Mindy's act and hired all white women. He had been driven now to stay home and attempt to care for her.

Sometimes she would come around for a split second; a smile, a kiss, a caress, and then nothing. She just slipped in and out of psychosis without any real way to control it. Bruce had been nearly driven to tears at how quickly the breakthroughs to sanity passed; for the first time in his long relationship with her he questioned whether or not he bit off more than he could chew with the schizophrenia. Her son was just brutally murdered though; and he knew that. Her position as a grieving mother was one he couldn't ever imagine or live with himself being in. No parent should bury their child no matter who they were.

The kids had become depressed quickly as well. They wanted their mother back and didn't have their father around to cry to either. Amber couldn't take it.

…

"Daddy!" Amber screamed and bolted deliberately out of her school building in the middle of the day to launch onto her father, who lifted the lanky child into a hug and kissed her as hard as he could, petting her hair and saying something to her as she sobbed loudly and clung to him in the middle of the sidewalk.

As she drove with her new partner on patrol, Trish gasped at the sight and shook her head in denial…that was her niece alright, but Jack was dead. He died before Amber was even conceived he wasn't their father…or was he?

…

"Amber…" Trish began at dinner that night where everyone but the future Mr. and Mrs. Bruce Wayne was in attendance.

"Yes, Aunt Trisha?" Amber asked as a sigh while playing with the gold watch chain which hung around her neck and the gold railroad stopwatch she donned like a pendant.

Inside the back compartment of the watch was the tiny picture of her mother she wasn't sure if she should give back to him or not. Clearly it had significance, and if there was anything in this world he truly loved she was slipping right through his fingers because he couldn't get over himself. Sure maybe asking him after all he'd been through to change himself wasn't the right thing to do, but something had to give. The both of them were too stubborn to change their ways and work things out accordingly, partially because he refused any actual 'relationship' talk. Their twenty-six year relationship was enough for him, plus in all fairness he was a thirty-year-old guy. He was young still emotionless or not. He and Mindy had been conceiving children since they were nineteen they were ridiculously young parents harboring severe mental ailments.

"Who was that man who picked you up from school today?" Trish asked in a sharp, pestering voice. Thorn and Scarlett gasped while Chelsea hugged Stickers and fed him her carrots because she hated them. "Hey!" immediately Trish smacked Chelsea's arm and shook her head, "You KNOW better no animals at the table! Put that rat down!"

"PANDA!" Chelsea screamed at her and screwed her face up in anger, but she was too chubby and cute to take seriously, "MOMMY lets me!"

"Excuse me?" Trish raised an eyebrow like it was anarchy and all the kids were turning against her, and maybe they were but they didn't care. She was nothing but a bitch to their mother living off her and their father knew it. He was no idiot he told them exactly what he thought of their Aunt Trisha. She did nothing but put down and insult her 'identical' twin her entire life until she became famous, then she sucked in everything she had to offer.

"You heard her" Amber's eyes narrowed as she looked to Alfred for help, and though he didn't want to involve himself in a fight between children and adults he knew what Bruce would want him to do.

"Master Wayne doesn't mind the animals, Patricia" he nodded at Trish once from his spot behind Chelsea and smoothed her hair, "He was the one who purchased the red panda, after all"

"Is THAT what it is?" Trish chuckled at the baby red panda in Chelsea's arms though the toddler didn't find it so funny.

"MY Stickers" she nodded curtly at Trish and hugged the raccoon-like pet close, "Mine."

"Anyway" Trish rolled her eyes as Amber pulled Chelsea's chair closer to her and pet her hair, "Who picked you up from school today, Ambie?"

"Alfred" Amber nodded and he gave her a wink, because he did.

Every day he picked her and her sisters up from school while Bruce volunteered dance classes (and there were many of them). They also required to be driven to horseback riding lessons, but thanks to Bruce, Mindy was able to give them in their own backyard. What Alfred did know though that no one else really did, was their father's efforts to discreetly see them. It threw him off, how such a cruel and cold man lit up like a Christmas tree the moment he saw his children, though that happened to be a strange trait of mass-murderers. Kukilinski, Yates, Swango, and more all had families they loved very dearly…and the Joker was turning out to be no exception. Vile man he may have been, but he didn't deserve his son to die the way he did. No parent ever deserved to bury their child no matter how horrible they were. How exactly he knew everything about his relationship with both wife and children was because they all told him. The kids told him everything while Mindy was very limited, but did expel what she felt she could. He got information because he was trusted, and he wouldn't salvage that because they all were good people, even Mindy who pretended she wasn't. She probably was one of the kindest, most nurturing people he'd ever known when she wasn't tearing out people's throats with her claws.

"Oh really?" Trish's eyebrow rose and she showed Amber the picture she caught on her phone of her being held and pet by the Joker without makeup on the middle of the sidewalk, "Alfred looks like that?"

"Patricia…" immediately he went to intervene because if SHE knew the entire police department would know then Bruce would know and then who knew what would go down after that. It was an unnecessary mess especially because he really hadn't DONE anything to anyone in a while. Sure he was plotting, obviously he was plotting, but all he was doing at that moment was seeing his kid which by every natural law he had a right to see even though according to Mindy he wasn't a citizen of the United States at all.

"What's Mommy hiding, Amber Rose?" Trish asked with venom, "What's Mommy keepin' from the world this time?"

"Nothing" Amber's light blue eyes narrowed and she just glared at her aunt contemptuously, though Trish growled and shook her head.

"I don't believe that for a single SECOND. I know you're a little BITCH but I never took you for a liar"

"Now hold on here" Alfred went to scold Trish but Amber nearly leapt over the table with a flame lit in the back of her eyes.

"You wanna know who that was?" she snapped so fast Trish had to take a second to process it, "Huh? You wanna know?" she didn't even wait for Trish to nod, "That's my DADDY. He's not dead. He's the JOKER. Mommy is MINX. Wanna turn her in now too? You're SUCH a good sister the rest of the time"

Alfred immediately helped the lanky child out of her chair, "Come along, Miss Amber Rose"

The moment Amber got off the table her sisters immediately followed, though Chelsea wasn't nearly finished. She scowled and shook her head angrily.

"Stupid Aunt Trisha!" she shouted with a curt nod and hugged Stickers before jamming her little foot down on Trish's in a tantrum with a grunt.

"OW!" Trish yelped as Chelsea nodded satisfactorily and stamped right on out of the room, giving her meanest face she could muster (which once again wasn't mean or intimidating at all) and muttering to herself.

…

"You know…" Bruce sighed while laying Mindy down in bed and brushing her hair out of her face with his fingers, "I may not know much about psychology…" exhaling deeply he sifted her hair between his fingers, "but I do know that I love you…very deeply."

She shook her head 'no' and he gave her big nods.

"Yes…" he kissed her nose and smiled weakly, "yes. I want to help you; you just have to let me. Darling, you have to trust me I knew I loved you right away please…"

She sniffled and kept her eyes down, so lifting her chin he kissed her deeply, not even caring how disheveled she was. The lights were out anyway so it wasn't like he had to look at her. Keeping her eyes closed she kissed him back finally, accepting every pet and caress he offered while slowly stripping and making love to her right in his bed without the warmth of his comforters. Yes, she was a certified lunatic, but he loved her.

…

With a smug grin and her arms folded across her chest Trish watched Bruce fill out paperwork regarding Mindy's custody papers since she legally was not fit to ever live on her own due to the murder of her mother and always had to have a conservator of both her person and estate. Before he 'died' that person was Jack, and once he was dead it became Trish. Now as her husband, Bruce wanted to take her so she and her children weren't wards of the state. Technically she couldn't even keep her own kids unsupervised; it was a sad state of affairs.

"You sure you wanna do that?" Trish hovered over him like a fly and he furrowed his brow before nodding.

"Why wouldn't I?" his lips pouted, "She's my wife."

"Actually…" Trish bounced on her toes and shook her head, "someone's beat ya to it."

"I know" he gave her a single nod before continuing the paperwork, "He passed away"

"Psh" she snorted, "From reality, ya mean"

His eyes narrowed for her to stop, but of course she didn't. She chuckled lowly and sighed.

"What do ya know about her darling Jack?" she teased with a phony smile, and he pouted his lips before replying again.

"He passed away."

Her eyes rolled and she plastered a big fake smile yet again before responding smugly, "He's the JOKER. She's MINX. And they're long married. His death was a hoax; and she's been playin' everyone for a sap."

"How do you know this?" he had to ask fearfully and she shrugged while chewing the inside of her cheek.

"You think any a' the bratty princesses in there can keep their mouths shut? They see their father almost every day! And I'll BET my Meemy knew about it"

Though he didn't show it, something snapped inside him and he'd probably regret his next action more than anything else in his life.

…

"WHERE DID YOU MEET HIM?" Bruce screamed in the sullen Mindy's face and wrenched her wrist around, "GROUP THERAPY?"

She yelped and cried loudly, shaking her head and barring her teeth.

"Bruce NO! OW!"

He had slapped her across the face, something he never thought he'd ever do and threw her back straight against the heavy wooden door.

The door was locked from the inside so nobody could get in, but what was flying Mindy's way could pretty much be heard throughout the entire mansion. Trish just sat on a couch in the library reading while calmly eavesdropping, and Chelsea grabbed a thesaurus off a shelf and beat her over the head with it from behind; not even caring how loud Trish yelped and lunged to smack the baby in the face.

"Now WHAT?" Bruce's shout could be heard again and he slammed her shoulders back even harder so she screamed, "TWO AND A HALF YEARS you hide this from me?"

That blank stare just kept looking back at him and he groaned.

"Miranda, PLEASE! Don't give me that blank stare you know exactly what I'm talking about!"

She sniffled and started scratching at her own arms even though she had no claws to scratch with at the moment so her fingers were bleeding.

"What? You want to tell me you're SLEEPING with him too while we're at it? Do me that much and enlighten me!"

"No…" she shook her head and he narrowed his eyes while ripping her head back by her scalp.

"No? What's 'no' supposed to mean? No WHAT? I know at this point, no need to be an even bigger liar"

"I NEVER LIED! JACK IS DEAD HE IS!" she screamed with a shake of the head and cried loudly, "I CALL HIM JACK BUT ALL THE JACK IN HIM IS DEAD! You DO NOT know him!"

"Oh I know him" Bruce nodded with wide eyes, "Trust me I know him quite well. He killed the love of my life" that one slip-up cost him everything he could have ever obtained with her and he didn't know it yet.

She whimpered and nodded though, "I let go of him for you…just so you know. I did not see him for over two years or even talk to him for you. I stopped thinking about him for you. If you like some chick who NEVER loved you over me than be my guest" she folded her arms across her chest and glared out one of the massive windows, "I don't care."

Calming slightly he ran a hand through his hair and shook his head, "You trust your children with that man, he's a leading suspect for your son's death"

"It was not him apparently; I do not know the story Ambie does."

"The man has no emotion what type of-"

"He does not hit, yell, scream, molest, torture, mutilate, put-down, or favor…" she shrugged, "compared to some other daddies I have met including my own that ain't too bad."

"And what do we do now?" he shrugged and ran a hand through his hair, "You're married"

"Not legally anymore" she shrugged and shook her head, "He is dead, remember? I am a 'widow', but not really…yet even if they find him there is no way to prove he is Jack anyway. I have all his old licenses, I have his birth certificate, and he is not American so no one will ever trace it. I can still marry you if you want…" she frowned and shrugged, "I mean, I know I am not Rachel or anything but-"

He sat on the bed and ripped her into an embrace, yet the damage was still done.

…

Slipping out of bed that night, Mindy carefully floated to the door without making a sound and made sure Bruce was still asleep next to her. He was so incredibly gorgeous even as he slept, but he had smashed her heart in two and that was enough of that. She got over Jack for him and he clearly didn't get over whats-her-face who never even was his girlfriend anyway. What it was with him and that dead friend of his she'd never know; the only friend she ever had was declared dead. Fuck him. She didn't need him; she didn't need anyone.

…

Sneaking into the Batcave after hitting the right keys in the Southeast Corner, Mindy stripped right in the cold dank cave to zip up the Minx romper and hissed, flying a loop in the air and flipping the hood up so her eyes glowed dangerously before zooming right up through the elevator shaft and back into the manor. She landed on all fours, actually balancing her weight evenly amongst her short limbs and wandering the halls like a real cat before jumping onto the banister and walking on all fours up that too, her tail flicking to the left and right as she went without making a much as a shifting noise. She had become amazing; not to mention how her speed was unmatchable. Not even Batman could truly keep track of her she was so fast and aerodynamic.

Through the shadows she crept around the hallways, slit feline pupils guiding her night vision when she could detect Trish's heartbeat from the next room. Opening her mouth to purr she crawled along the wall and used one of her bandaged claws to open the door, slinking in through the shadows lightning fast and closing the door behind her…Trish didn't stir.

"Good bitch" Minx nodded before getting the claws on one hand extended and dropped upside down to the bed, flipping onto all fours and rocking back on her haunches. She leaned forwards and rolled her shoulders like a kitten waiting to pounce.

Opening her mouth she made the sweetest little mewing noise, and once Trish stirred and opened her eyes she was met by a wildcat who snarled and dug her claws straight into her eye sockets before ripping them out and grabbing her bleeding sister by her hair, literally flinging her out the large window like a piece of meat before swooping after her and catching her in mid-air; flying into the night.

…

In the chemical plant, the Joker sat at a desk with a lamp on and a pen in hand. A blueprint of a donut-shaped object with a bunch of crazy compartments and formulas next to it in his chicken-scratch handwriting (done on purpose so only he could read it) sat on the drawing board and he paused to grimace while carefully reading something over…

WHACK!

Startled, he pouted his lips and grabbed a gun to turn around and ready when he made the body out to be that of his sister-in-law whom he loathed. With raised eyebrows and an accepting nod he looked up; lo and behold hovering about seven feet above the ground with her hood raised and glowing ice-blue eyes was Minx, and he leaned back in the chair to grin.

"Well hell-o BEAUTIFUL…!" using his knife he slicked some of his poorly-dyed green hair back and licked his lips, "Did I hit the lottery or are you just another…" he waved a hand and shrugged dismissively, "MIND-creature…?" pouting his lips he raised an eyebrow when she landed and ripped her hood off.

Commence the bawling.

"What?" cocking his head the Joker chewed the inside of his cheek watching her stare at him while audibly crying the Nile River, "What do ya want from me?"

Nothing but even more tears, her eyes were beyond puffed and swollen while her lips quivered madly. Breathing deeply through his nose, he smacked his lips and blinked involuntarily a few times before groaning.

"Kitten…"

Still no human response. Rolling his eyes he sighed and just extended an arm for her passively and ZAP!

"Oh FUCK me, Kitten!" his arms went out and flailed madly until he caught the desk and pushed the wooden chair upright because she whacked into him so fast the entire chair flipped back, and the wind got knocked out of his gut from impact, "CHRIST!"

Hiccupping from crying so hard her hands frantically went to his face and he could see the missing claws and bandaged fingers; that did make him frown and pout his lips while lifting the hand which had no claws at all to study it.

"Should I be…" smacking his lips and grimacing he tried to get a good look around them as she sat straddled in his lap on the chair, "EXPECTING Bats to come CRASHING in?"

Shaking her head and sniffling she leaned forwards and immediately caught him in a liplock, though he leaned back so it was forcefully broken and furrowed his brow skeptically.

"How…" he rolled his tongue and began playing with a long piece of straightened raven hair, "DID you find me, Kitten?" he shook his head while attempting to look her in the eye, "You didn't call."

Sniffling again she said nothing, but placed a dainty hand over his heart and nestled under his chin because his skin was always warm. He may have been cold-blooded but his skin always radiated a comfortable amount of heat. His eyebrows rose in surprise and he smiled.

"Ahhh…" licking his lips he nodded and tapped the bridge of her nose with an index finger, "clever girl…I like that…" grimacing before pulling her chin back he wrinkled his nose and mouthed, "So SMART!"

Shuddering and shaking like a leaf both her hands remained compressed to the side of his face; holding and caressing him while he just sat back and enjoyed the attention.

"Heh" he eyeballed her and smiled, "Bats taught ya one good thing." Still he scanned the area with his eyes and frowned at her, "Yet ya didn't lead him right to me, I'm disappointed. After two years of ignoring I'd think you at least have the decency to tell me what exactly the HELL is going on with you."

Her mouth dropped and she began to stammer much to his interest, "H-h-h-h-h-he-"

"He WHAT?" he teased fondly, not really anticipating the answer she delivered.

"He…" her hand moved back and forth in a slapping motion and he howled with laughter, though she didn't find it so funny. Cross she stared at him laughing his ass off for a moment when he finally caught his wheezy breath and nodded in astonishment.

"Moving up in the world, I see…" he nodded like it was some great achievement, meanwhile he was being a little hypocrite because he never hit her. No matter how badly she irked him…and she irked him A LOT.

All she could really do was hug his neck no matter how bad he wriggled to get out of it, "I don't care" she managed to squeak, and that made him smile enough to pet her hair before glancing at his plan and grinning smugly.

Operation Kitten worked in his favor just fine. She never would have gone back to him if something catastrophic didn't happen. Knowing Harley Quinn's unstable and obsessive feelings for him, by revealing the wedding ring to the girl she'd suspected he'd been canoodling with he drove her mad. Madness makes one do funny things like push a toddler off a balcony. He liked his son, he did, but greatness requires sacrifice. He knew she'd try and make it like it was his work too, so he'd kill her for both revenge and a scolding…then everything was better. He knew damn well what Trygger's death would do to Mindy, and desperate times call for high tensions. Amber spilled his identity which made Kitten's bitch of a sister tell the Batman which made Batman snap and do something he was probably crying over right now. That led Minxy to not only dice her twin sister that he hated, thus concealing the information of who he and Mindy were, but return to the one person who needed her in his possession. Cruel? Yes. Sick? Maybe. Success? Absolutely. What could he do, he was in love. Sharing her with Bats was one thing, but losing her entirely just wasn't going to be tolerated.

Smiling softly he knocked his forehead to hers and began to speak in a gentle coo, "Now…" smacking his lips he held her chin in place and whispered, "look at me…"

Fierce icy iris's snapped to his dark gaze and they held one another in a way that had the half-beast completely engrossed.

"I need you to help me, Kitten…" his head cocked and he frowned, "can you do that?" his voice sugar-coated and he nodded while caressing her face and hair, "Can you help me get them all back, Kitten, for our son?"

With a sniffle she nodded before keeping her forehead rammed against his and crying to the point that she passed out on his shoulder from exhaustion, and after patting her back the entire time he turned the chair back around and worked on his blueprint with her asleep on his shoulder…exactly as it should have been from the beginning.

…

"Miranda…!" tearing down the hallways Bruce managed to stumble into the room he had Trish in to see the girls and Alfred already had found it, "Miranda!"

A trail of blood led to the smashed window and Bruce had to hang his head. He backed her into that corner somehow he knew he did…he just didn't know why. Was it something he said? Or maybe he'd go one higher and say the Joker sent his goons out to abduct her and Trish. That sounded much better to him. Vindicated. Now Batman had to tear the walls down until his newly acquired partner was found…that meant alerting Jim Gordon of her absence since he did make it clear she was on the right team and hopefully having the police track the Joker until she was found. He wouldn't stop searching until he got her home. The Joker was a mind-bender, a master manipulator…husband or not he was going to mindfuck the shit out of her and he had to stop him. When he trained his fiancée he built her up to be something so powerful she didn't even realize it, but he did…and clearly the Joker did too. Minx was a powerhouse waiting to happen and god only knew what the Joker would use her for especially considering her newly acquired set of skills.

* * *

_"Who would not, finding way, break loose from hell,_

_And boldly venture to whatever place Farthest from pain?" _

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	53. Chapter 53: Paper Doll

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Hands on his hips and keeping his eyes downcast, Commissioner Gordon ran a weathered hand through his hair and looked across the rooftop of the MCU at Batman, who seemed equally as distraught but wasn't so vocal.

"So what do we do?" exhaling and curling his lips he shook his head and looked up at Batman, "Do we arrest her? Or…?"

"No" Batman responded coldly, "The Joker will have contorted her mind by the time anyone gets to her. She'll be fast…faster than anything you've previously tried to chase down. Combat is highly trained; durability far more than the average female. Watch for the legs…she's missing five claws on one hand and two on the other."

"How?"

His gaze dropped, "I should have been watching her closer. She's a paranoid schizophrenic with MPD…regulated with medication it's almost unrecognizable."

"But YOU don't think the Joker's gonna be giving her meds…?"

"Negative" Batman said with a slight tilt of the head, "He'll want her unhinged…dangerous."

"Does she have a gun?" his teeth mashed and he would have cringed but he was too anxious over Detective Fisico's disappearance to really take that in.

"Not her…" he shook his head, "she only fights with her hands and those are tied. Until her claws grow she'll only be using her legs which aren't to be underestimated. She was able to flip a four-hundred-pound man in the air before her training…"

"So uhh…" Gordon shrugged in exasperation and looked to Batman with a glassy glint in the back of his eyes from anxiety, "What's the course of action that'll keep our favorite feline out of trouble?"

"Tranq, stun gun, gas, taser…anything to keep her out of the sky. Once she's airborne you'll never be able to net her without a machine gun, and even so she'll probably beat the speed"

"Did you teach her anything else?" Gordon almost didn't want to ask anymore of Batman's little side project gone haywire, and with a deep breath Batman nodded.

"She crawls walls, ceilings, and can practically fit through any small opening due to her size and flexibility. Don't let her sound effects frighten you, and her eyes are meant to temporarily incapacitate; avoid looking into them if you can."

"Any…" he waved a hand and furrowed his brow, "safety precautions before we get into this mess?"

"Watch your footing" Batman bowed his head slightly to nod, "Her hearing is phenomenal you'll be detected from hundreds of yards away, she has feline corneas capable of reflecting light and catching you even in the dark, and recently she learned to detect and track down heartrates-"

"Ohhh GREAT!" Gordon's hands went up and he shook his head with a grimace at Batman, "And what makes you think we'll be able to catch this broad?"

"I'll be searching simultaneously…keep an eye out for the Joker. With him comes his men and Minx won't be far behind."

"Please…" gently Gordon held both hands up and looked Batman in the eye before he could turn around and leave, "next time one of your rookies escapes TRY to make them less superhuman"

Batman cracked a thin smirk before narrowing his eyes, "I'll look into it."

…

A diner in Gotham which had the news on went to fuzz and everyone eating thought nothing of it. Annoyed, the manager went to fix it after a few minutes but nothing happened. The TV wouldn't even turn off.

"You need help?" a waiter walked over and tried to fiddle with the TV as well.

"It won't even turn off" the manager shrugged with a shake of the head and gradually people started to notice.

Every TV in Gotham flipped on and to the white fuzz. No matter what anyone did they couldn't get their TV's to even turn off and then—blackout. The entire city covered in shadow and mass panic occurred. Cars crashed, people screamed, and only the TV's flipped back on to a black screen…and the slow pattering of a single muffled snare drum and a single electric guitar. No real melody, no lights, no people, no nothing…and then a single spotlight on a teeny tiny figure sitting cross-legged on a long table adorned like a real setting with candelabras and everything, the plates and bowls filled with red meat and the wooden table saturated with fresh blood. The clearly hand-held camera dropped about a foot to show the little person was seated on the abdomen of none other than the dead Harley Quinn…and the person was wearing Trish's skin and hair. She opened her mouth and sang in a voice so shaky, childish, and raw that it was unrecognizable.

"_I…Look at-her in that pa-per dress" _a candle was lifted and gasoline was poured from a wine glass onto Harley's dead body which had been given a Colombian necktie,_ "I won-der why she won't burn…?" _a sharp breath and her head tilted back while darting her tongue out to place the candle down and lick Trish's lips while petting the dead body,_ "She's. Just. A. Pa-per Doll, that's all. Just a paper doll."_

She smiled and began to run her fingers over Harley's outfit with a cock of her head.

"_I dress her up she knocks me down" _she frowned while tilting her head to the other side and playing with Harley's long curly blood-matted locks of hair,_ "__I dress her up she knocks me…" _a zoom on her face covered by Trish's skin and ice-blue eyes glared directly into the camera with feline pupils,_ "down…"_

Poking her short tongue out she licked Trish's full lips and began sliding her fingers over every curve of her own body wearing Trish's skin.

"_They…try her on for size she fits, Nice_" smiling manically a finger lifted in the air and she giggled_, "One size fits all!" _her head went back and she belted a little bit_, __"__They…! Try her on for size she fits, nice" _a finger went up again,_ "One size fits all!"_

Batman watched from a large monitor in the middle of Gotham in horror without even starting the Batpod. Nobody was moving on the roads anyway he'd have to use the sidewalks. The only illumination in the entire city was every TV screen.

A few guitar riffs and she swayed slightly, keeping those piercing cat eyes on the camera while panting out,_ "Now her soul is dead…" _more guitar riffs and she ran a finger down Trish's lips,_ "now her body's raw…" _more erratic riffs and her mouth hung open while leaning even closer to the camera, _"You can numb her pain…"_

Alfred's hand sat over his mouth in Wayne Manor and the girls could only stare at the screen. Chelsea had a tub of chocolate-covered popcorn in her lap that she was eating by the fistful. It was TV, she was Autistic, she didn't give a good shit what was on as long as it could be projected on a screen.

The person's position changed and she now leaned over Harley on her hands and knees still wearing Trish's skin while licking Harley's cheek and feeling up on her dead body.

"_Watch! The blo-od run down her face, but don't take no-tice!" _she smiled sadistically and trickled Trish's fingertips down Harley's arms,_ "And watch! The blood run down her arms" _the tone changed to a desperate plea and she shook her head frantically while holding up her hands_, "Please don't take no-tice!"_

Gordon could only shake his head with a hand over his mouth while his wife was on the opposite end with him huddled with their two children in a corner of their home she was so horrified of what they were seeing on the screen.

The camera zoomed on her face and the voice changed to something nastier.

"_I…!" _she changed to a demented whisper_, "Know you have her soul" _she leaned towards the camera and sang in a much louder and higher octave_, "And I see it in your eyes…!" _she pulled back from the camera on her haunches while still touching Harley,_ "She knows you have her soul…" _her teeth barred and she pulled Harley's head up for all to see, which caused a lot of screams from people through out the city because of the horrid display the Joker created with her throat and mouth_, "And she sees it in your eyes."_

Sighing as the guitar riffs came back she pulled Harley into her lap and sang TO the corpse with a shake of the head.

"_Now her soul is dead…and now her body's raw…wash away her pain…"_ she pulled back and dropped the body as the spotlight shut out on her and a strobe light came on to give the whole gruesome display of visceral organs and bones that decorated the table.

In place of each napkin was a Joker card as more guitars kicked in and got much louder and heavier. The strobe light began to blare in purple and green as the drums banged and the table lit on fire with the little person sitting on top of Harley's body unharmed, belting in a hoarse shaky plea.

"_She wants you to eat her pain! She wants you to eat her remains…!" _she leaned forwards and held the note for about five seconds before ripping off Trish's skin to reveal a completely naked blood-soaked Minx with glowing eyes and her face painted in fresh blood, slamming the skin and tearing it left and right_, "She wants you to eat her pain! She wants you to eat her" _sitting back on her haunches she began this final long-ass note really far back and gradually used her abs to pull her body forwards and almost scream at the camera_, "remains…!"_ ten seconds of holding that painful note she ended it in a feline growl and ran her tongue over her bloodstained lips as all the candles shot out and only Minx's glowing eyes were left blaring in the room.

The TV's all shut. The lights went back on. The screams which erupted from the people of the city answered the reaction question.

…

Speeding through the streets on the Batpod, Batman gripped the throttle tightly in his gloved hand and spoke to Alfred through a communicator in his cowl.

"I picked up a signal from Apolo's on the east side. Send the information to Gordon" Batman said quickly while carefully careening around a bend.

"Are you sure about that, Master Wayne?" Alfred asked while pulling Chelsea out of the bathtub and wrapping her up in a fluffy towel, "That's mob-run"

"Exactly why the Joker would use it for his broadcast!" Batman made another sharp turn and nearly collided with a few cars going the opposite way.

Resting a hand on the rim of the bathtub Alfred sighed and shook his head, "You know it's never that simple concerning the Joker…and he knows he has something of yours…which is rightfully his…and you took it away from him-"

"She's MINE!" Batman growled while checking his location on the navigational system right in front of him, hanging up abruptly and making Alfred's eyebrows rise in astonishment at the conviction on Batman's part.

"Very well then" he lifted Chelsea and headed out of the room, "Let's get you dressed now, shall we?"

…

Batman skidded to a stop in front of Apolo's and all the blinds were drawn, which made sense since it was nighttime but also pissed Batman off. He didn't even wait to kick down the door and all was pitch black inside.

"JOKER!" he roared while knocking over a podium and beginning to make his way through the pitch black restaurant, "JOKER!"

A small flashlight came out of his utility belt and he shone it around, playing with the shadows off the walls and examining the closed restaurant for any shred of a sign of the Joker when he smelled something awful. Scowling he shone his flashlight to the floor below the long table and all the candles and fire lit up once more. Trish's skin was tacked to the wall and as Batman circled the table all of her body parts were selectively placed in bowls, the glasses filled with a mixture of her blood and gasoline, and everything was just garnished so well all it took was the Colombian necktied and Glasgow grinning Harley set up in the middle to create the masterpiece. Written on the walls in deep dripping crimson all around was the same message.

'HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA' all in random sizes, angles, and positioning on the walls. Fuzz. A pre-recorded segment of the Joker came on the TV set up in the high far corner of the room, and Batman knew it was pre-recorded because the Joker was standing clean as a whistle despite all the gore in that very room. Minx was on the table as he spoke, actually licking blood off Harley's fingertips and all up her arm before grabbing hunks of meat from the table and eating them. If Batman could have gotten sick he would have from watching her do that. Those were real human body parts.

"Oh look, you've made it! I'm so thrilled" his hands clapped together as he stood in front of the tripod while showing it around the room and getting the focus back on himself, "Tell me Bat-breath, are you having FUN playing detective?" licking his lips he blinked his eyes involuntarily while flashing them about, "Tracking down my signals, racing through the streets…" he sighed and shook his head, "So for all your troubles I decided to have my goons make you a little SURPRISE" he grinned and moved the camera back so the display of the burning table was there with Minx sitting on top licking her hands of blood still completely naked, "Yaaay!"

He moved the camera up and down to get a good view of it.

"All this and MORE" one of his fingers pointed at Minx, "not her" he snorted, "though that's what you CAME for, now isn't it?" he tsked Batman repetitively and shook his head, "SHAME on you, stealing my toys! You've got PLENTY of your own, what'd you sneak in there with ya TODAY, Batso?" he pretended to peer into the camera as if actually looking at Batman's utility belt, "Come on, tell me, tell me, tell me! Batarangs? Batclaws? Ooo, bat snacks?"

Batman would have said something but it was a prerecorded segment.

"No matter" the Joker waved him off in the video and shook his head while licking his lips, "You see, this is MY city. You play by my rules or I'll have Kitten fly right on in there and…" he trailed off on purpose while licking his lips and grimacing, "Oh wait…" he stroked his chin and nodded, "You'd like that, wouldn't ya Batso?" he sighed and smacked his lips at the screen, "That lonely, huh? You know…" moving his arms behind his back his lips pouted thoughtfully and he nodded along to his train of thought, "we REALLY…oughta…get you a friend in here…"

Immediately Batman was on-edge as seven goons crawled out from under the table holding crowbars and wrenches as cued by the videotape.

"Ahhh…" the Joker sighed as his men came out on cue even though it wasn't exactly reality at the moment, "How sweet; just LOOK at all those volunteers!"

Already Batman fired the Batclaw to rip the weapon out of the furthest guy's hand before reeling him in and punching him right in the jaw. Another hopped on his back when Batman flipped him over onto the table before driving an elbow into his sternum and swifting his cape in front of the next to stun him while tripping another and stamping on him quick so he couldn't move.

"Don't worry, boys. I'm quite certain there's NO truth to the rumor that the Batman drinks human blood."

Batman flung the next goon into the wall while dodging a wrench blow and shooting his gauntlets out in his face, making the goon scream and Batman took care of the last ones before tying them all together in the center of the room as the Joker laughed maniacally until he put his hand over the camera and cut the show.

Minutes later Batman stood at that very exact scene with an insane number of officers and Gordon studying the tape the Joker left on cue. The men were long arrested and carted away while Gordon was just made sick by the whole double-video horror.


	54. Chapter 54: Familiar Taste of Poison

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Sniffling and staring at herself in a vast mirror inside the master bedroom of her penthouse was Mindy. Her entire body still drenched in blood she was supposed to bathe but couldn't get past her reflection. Her reflection had the eyes ripped out and the skin removed from her body. With chattering teeth one of her hands raised and slapped to the mirror, lightly clawing at her reflection before driving her fist through the mirror and screaming at it. Blood seeped from her palm, her own blood but she could only hiss and spit like a cat at the broken shards of glass which now splattered all over the place. Shaking her head and breathing through her teeth she stared at the shards and they started laughing at her. That triggered a shriek and a growl before snagging the pieces and trying to shove them into the tiny drain hole in the sink but they wouldn't go down. With a sniffle she breathed harder and licked her lips before growling like a wild animal and trying to shove them into the drain, raising her hand like a giant hammer to spike it in when a bare arm wrapped around her hips and the other over her breasts to yank her back.

"Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey!" that familiar higher-pitched male voice began to quickly shout into her ear, pulling her against a warm bare chest and she knew that particular heart-patter anywhere.

Immediately while emitting whiny breathing noises she was subdued, though her bandaged hands were bleeding and shaking like leaves. Every inhale she made was this loud, wheezy whimper and she cried so hard she coughed. Her back remained flat against the Joker's chest and because she was so tiny she could feel the material of his pants too.

"I know what you're doing, stop it" he shook his head incase she went catatonic and he couldn't physically change her position without getting his head ripped clean off, "STOP."

In lieu of his purple suit he had removed everything from his torso and replaced the purple dress pants with black dress pants he used to wear to work at the chemical plant in Toronto. Why the change in wardrobe? Her entire body was covered in fucking blood. He wasn't getting a THING on his suit. It wasn't like he could get it custom-tailored a thousand times over, he really only had one good suit for his Joker shenanigans and it wasn't getting destroyed and stained anytime soon. Despite what he came off as everything with him was immaculate. Smudged makeup still painted his face though, and his hair remained as it always did; he hadn't gotten a chance to remove his war paint because his wife felt the need to tear herself apart…again.

"I told you…" he began to coo in her ear while licking his lips and blinking rapidly for a moment, "to clean yourself…" smacking his lips he looked off for a moment while tightening the double-hold he had around her body and pressed his mouth against her bloody ear as he spoke, "and DID you…?" grimacing he shook his head and pet her hair, "No…of course not. Doing as you're instructed would count as LISTENING…" he wrinkled his nose and shook his head, "which you never do either."

She had gone uncomfortably quiet, but he was so used to this bullshit by now it didn't matter. With a dramatic exhale he craned her neck around so she was turned towards him and they kissed. One of his hands wove into her matted raven hair while the other had a hold on her hips; travelling further south until her back arched towards him and the kiss deepened…then he ended it.

"Come on" sighing he lifted her into a carry and lowered her into the scalding hot bathtub she had been ignoring even though he filled the tub and everything, "Ya bitch."

Staring at him like a hapless kitten after he put her in the water and knelt to grab a purple washcloth she had hanging from a fancy towel display and a bar of her coconut-scented soap, Mindy watched for a moment as he smacked his lips before taking her arm and cleaning it of the caked blood.

"What?" he wasn't looking at her, but knew where her eyes were, "What do you want?"

Her head shook, though he was annoyed with that and shook his head.

"WORDS, Kitten…" licking his lips he grimaced before moving further up her arm and removing a chunk of sticky hair so it swirled around her in the water, "I want WORDS from you or I'm not responding"

Nodding meekly and swallowing hard she watched him clean her for a moment before looking him in the eye, "I—I love you, Jack."

"You're scrawny" looking her body over with a wrinkled nose he blinked while shaking his head, "I don't like it. Put some meat on."

"Okay" she croaked while nodding weakly, "I love you, Jack."

"Oh yeah?" interested now, he stopped cleaning her and let his forearms rest over the rim of the tub for a moment while looking her in the eye with a smirk, "Then why won't you ever listen to me?"

She sniffled and sat more upright, dropping her arms under the water to scoot herself forwards before wrapping both arms around his neck and giving him a big kiss, "I'm sorry."

"No point now" he went to ease her off but she wouldn't let go, "Cease the groveling, I'm HERE" he motioned to the ground and licked his lips with wide eyes, "Aren't I? Did I leave you to the WOLVES, Kitten? Are you…" he licked his lips, "ALONE?"

Childishly she shook her head.

"Then stop crying" he picked the washcloth and soap back up before kissing her forehead and washing her other arm of dried and fresh blood.

…

After the Joker finished cleaning both her AND the bathroom, he bandaged her up once more and took a trip downstairs while she changed into a sky blue bathrobe which was decorated by cutely shaped clouds with happy faces on them. She and Amber both had identical robes because they saw them in the movie Legally Blonde and that was it; no one was stopping until they got the matching robes from that film. They always matched though; every outfit Mindy owned, Amber needed the same. It was truly Mike and Ike, though between the two of them Amber mother-henned Mindy much more than the way it should have been. Mindy had run a brush through her mop of hair; which Joker was actually sweet enough to comb with his fingers for her in the tub, but forsaked makeup. She didn't give a shit if he cared or not; he'd seen her looking much worse and plastic surgery prevented any type of possible ageing at thirty.

As she came downstairs though she peered around the penthouse but no sign of him anywhere, this made her sad. Sniffling she reluctantly pulled a chair out from the crystal kitchen table and just sat; burying her face in her fuzzy sleeves to mope before remembering there was a carton of S'mores ice cream in the fridge that sounded pretty damn tempting at the moment. Fuck her figure. She didn't care. If people didn't love her fat they could kiss her ass in D-minor. She wanted ice cream and she was going to get it, Jack told her to get fat again anyway. So up she went and into the freezer to grab the carton and then a spoon from the utensil drawer. Happily she sat down at the table to dig into the first real food since her son's death when both the spoon and carton were snatched from her and a brown bag was dropped to the table.

"WHAT?" she gasped while staring at the empty space in front of her where her food was when she saw the Joker wearing his purple suit once more heading into the kitchen to put away the spoon and ice cream, "NO WAY!"

"Oh hush up!" the Joker called at her after returning into the dining area of the kitchen and holding one hand under his jacket, playfully sauntering her way while talk-singing, "_I'll do ANYTHING! For you, dear, anything! For you, mean, EVERYTHING to ME!" _

Covering a hand over her mouth when he sat in her tiny narrow lap she silently giggled and curled her lips to keep the sound in when he leaned forwards and kissed the crown of her damp head before pulling a white Persian kitten with blue eyes out of his jacket pocket and handing it to her.

"A kitten for my Kitten" he chirped cheekily before kissing her temple and watching her face light up at the little Persian with a naturally pushed-in face and fuzzy chunky little body.

The kitten mewed and Mindy grinned before giggling madly and kissing its nose; starting to cry while looking at the Joker, who still made himself comfortable in her lap while pulling the brown bag closer to them.

"I always wanted a REALLY fat cat" he said with a smirk and raised eyebrows, pulling white cartons out of the bag and setting them up in a peculiar order around them.

She hugged the kitten close to her chin and sniffled before nestling her head into one of his arms, "Did you STEAL him?"

"Yeah" he nodded without looking at her before licking his lips and craning his neck to face her, "Why? Does it mean 'more' if I PAID for it?" he grimaced and shrugged, "Either way I was thinking of you, wasn't I? Can't argue THAT with me."

Smiling weakly and kissing the kitten again Mindy nodded and watched him open a container for her and place a plastic fork in front.

"We're FEASTING tonight, Kitten" he nodded while still sitting in her lap before showing her the lo mein he got her, "I don't even like chinks…" he meant the food but knowing him it could go either way, "but YOU do" he nodded while smacking his lips and nodding at her, "This is a sacrifice. I'm martyring myself for love, Kitten"

"Oh bull-SHIT" she waved him off apathetically and held the kitten in her robe so only his little head poked out while eating her lo mein with beef in it, "Want some steak, Noogums?" she asked in a high cutesy voice before taking some on her fork and offering it to the kitten, the Joker only able to roll his eyes at the name but what would he say about it? Nothing.

"Damn right you better feed him" the Joker nodded at her while spearing his food like a caveman and chewing like it was plastic, "YOU know I only like cats if they're morbidly obese"

"No wonder you like me" she replied coyly, which made him throw his weight into her lap harder and she yelped in pain before pinching his arm really hard and making him laugh, "STOP it. That HURTS!"

The Joker only tsked her and sighed with a shake of the head while concentrating on his food, "YOU brought it upon yourself…"

"What do you WEIGH?" she whined from not being able to move her lower body even a smidge.

"Less than BatWayne and YOU'VE certainly had no problem supporting all his…" he wrinkled his nose and chewed, "rippling…muscles."

"He's only one-ninety" she pouted and speared a piece of broccoli in his carton because she knew he wouldn't touch it, "Without the Batman outfit you are taller than him"

"Barely…"

"What do you weigh?"

He furrowed his brow with a snicker and a shake of the head, "Why does it matter to you?"

"I wanna know" she shrugged and he licked his lips a moment before shrugging.

"Around one-sixty give or take a few, I don't weigh myself unless I have to"

Her eyes zapped open and immediately she pushed her cartons in front of him and shook her head, "Jesus, son of a Christ here I am complaining meanwhile you're a skinny little bitch. Here…" spearing and twirling some of her lo mein noodles she held it up to his mouth, "open"

Staring at the food for a moment he furrowed his brow with a dry thin smile and licked his lips before leaning in her face, "Do you get a RISE out of being a pain in my ass?"

"Yes" she nodded with owl eyes and wouldn't let up shoveling food in him, so he ruefully opened his mouth and took the forkful, only to be immediately met with another and he blinked in shock for a moment before eating that too.

They ate in silence for a few minutes, Mindy occasionally nuzzling one of his hands or petting Noogums. She did catch him looking at her out the corner of his eye every now and then, but couldn't really get him out of her lap. The bastard seemed quite comfy.

"Boney-ass" she remarked curtly before whacking his back and dodging a swat sent her way, "Can I perform an experiment?"

"What kind?" he asked without looking at her, continuing to eat when she shrugged and nuzzled his left arm.

"I give you a situation and you tell me why…"

"Mmm" he was interested. She knew every guttural and throaty sound from him at this point in their relationship.

"A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a man who she did not know. She thought he was 'amazing'. She believed him to be her dream partner so much, that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her sister. What was her motive for killing her sister?"

"She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral" he nodded while snagging a forkful of her fried rice since she always took shit from him.

"Yeah! How'd you know?"

"That test is a hoax, there's no one definitive question to separate all the black sheep"

"So what is YOUR philosophy?" she pouted her lips and he shrugged, "What makes you a psychopath?"

"I'm not" he exhaled while swallowing and shook his head, "I…" he sighed while licking his lips, "am just a man ahead of my time"

"I hope not" she frowned and hugged his arm; "I would not like you to be in the future away from me."

"Me either" that response made her eyes widen and she nearly dropped the fork.

"You love me that much?" her lips pouted and once he put the fork down he turned to scan her face before nodding with averted eyes.

"Since we were five, unfortun-ate-LY…"

They said nothing further to the other until she stood in front of the mirror on her vanity in her bedroom wearing nothing but a hot pink bra and thong, about to pull a nightie of the same color over her head when a bare hand dug into her spinal column and slowly slid up towards her neck. Sucking in a quick breath her back arched and she welcomed the action, curling her lips and slightly spreading her legs apart before stepping back directly into warm bare flesh and gasping once the fingers curled around the back of her neck and gripped it from behind.

"Jack?" in shock she turned to be caught in an open-mouthed kiss which she quickly broke and shook her head still in denial. Though all the makeup was still smeared all over his face his bare body was clean and entrancing to be pressed against.

This man was a murderer with zero empathy. He hated everyone and everything, he had no real emotions and found life in general to be one bad joke. He had no sanity yet claimed to be the only sane person alive. Schizophrenic or not; his intelligence was second to none, he remained a step over everyone…even her. She knew he had plans for whatever he wanted to do with her before he even walked in the door. He knew what she would say, he knew how she'd react, and he knew he'd get whatever he desired out of her because her emotional attachment to him made her a weak fish. She was no less hapless than Noogums sleeping on her pillow.

"I thought you hated this…" she breathed into his mouth when he pulled the clasp on her bra and slipped it off before moving the hand which was around her neck down over her breasts from underneath. He never did this. This was the type of shit Bruce did with her.

"I do" he whispered in a hoarse rasp and held her cheek with the opposite hand while insinuating a makeout session, which made her feel crazy to turn down. As they kissed the hand which was over her chest slid down her recently (thanks to Bruce torturing her and halving her diet) toned abs and underneath the pink fabric between her legs, which again wasn't like him at all. He was almost breaking a fourth wall in a sense and the reason why had eluded her. She liked it, hell she loved it despite makeup getting all over her face. To him sex was usually a chore more than anything else; he didn't like it but did it out of routine because that was the way things were before he lost his mind. Kitten liked it, and he had to make Kitten stay.

"Did you learn to like it?" she purred like a cat even after she stopped talking because she had the chords to make that kind of vibration and he groaned before knocking their foreheads quickly and kissing her.

"No" he looked down and shook his head before kissing up her shoulder blade and throat, biting and sucking on a particular spot before moving back up her jaw and reaching for her mouth.

"Jack…" sighing under her breath she kept one of his hands between her legs before kissing him deeper and keeping her butt as pressed against his bare skin as she could get it. As a direct result of her height she was only pressing against his thigh, but based off what was pulsating against her spine something was being done right. That usually never ever happened until she gave him oral. Gasping at his touch more than usual she panted and reached a hand back to weave into his unwashed hair so their kissing could intensify.

Smoldering black wreathing his unfocused eyes made him dark, dangerous. They suckered her in and she even knew what he looked like without the special effects. Once a gorgeous man, now a gorgeous man with gaping scars in his cheeks and cigarette-stained teeth. The sick bastard had more sex appeal in his fingernail than most men ever dreamed of possessing, and he wanted to do nothing with it. This was all appeasing, he was appeasing her…yet the very fact that he'd only been with one person his entire life really took a toll psychologically. The mass-murdering psychopath with a creepy clandestine grin came undone for HER. He cared for HER though he'd never admit it, especially to himself. None of his words carried any meaning anymore anyway; so even if he did tell her he loved her it didn't possess the feeling she wished it did. His actions and mannerisms were the only evidence of anything deep down in his Thoracic cavity, and one would have to be a deaf, dumb, and blind fool to not realize how deeply he loved her.

Fingers dug into her skin everywhere they could, and for once his hands were clean of makeup residue since he usually didn't wash his hands after putting the Joker makeup on. At first she was leaned over her vanity table at almost a ninety degree angle and he went with her, so all roads pointed to him screwing her right then and there. Breathing heavily she craned her neck to see what could possibly be taking him so long when he just bent over her that way and tongue kissed her.

"Jack…!" she was begging; that made him smile under his breath.

Everything with him was power play, even this. Yet he was such a powerful mother fucker it only added to his charm. He thought he had a right to play God, control things—an entire CITY fell before him and would continue to do so for the rest of his days…and he wanted her by his side. It was an enthralling feeling on its own to be needed by a man who needed no one. When the rest of the world lost their heads, he kept his. He knew what he wanted and was probably the most organized disorganized man in written history. A man that strong-willed and unpredictable with godly power over those around him was the perfect specimen to fantasize about and wish for a moment alone. Even if the person was terrified, they needed to know more about him and imagine what he'd think of or do with them. Sex was just something he didn't wish to be bothered by and found it completely expendable; it meant nothing (anymore that is) and most women had the misnomer that sex made the person their significant other. As attracted as he was to his wife he actually preferred touching and caressing over the deed itself, but SHE liked it. SHE liked to be held by him and taken until he could barely breathe; that's the only reason why he took part in the act to begin with. It made her vulnerable to him and completely submissive when normally she fought him tooth and nail over one thing or the next. Plus it was Kitten. That was his stoic excuse for everything he did and he didn't even know why.

Flipping her around and pinning her hips to the vanity table with his before kissing down her throat and running a single hand over her breasts, the Joker squeezed a hand of hers in his and purred into her ear, "Tell me you're in love with me."

"You tell me first" she countered and wanted him to wrap her legs around his waist more than anything in the world at that moment. Grimacing and blinking involuntarily he shook his head and pouted his lips at her.

"WHAT is your INSISTENCE with-"

"Same as yours" with a quick nod she squeezed his hand back and wrapped the other around his neck and then all down the smooth skin on his back which had become lightly coated in a thin layer of sweat, "I do not need you any more than you need me"

"You're trying my patience"

"Then fuck me" she shrugged and tried to somewhat press herself against him, "YOU know you want to…"

Nipping her ear and tucking a long piece of damp raven hair behind her back he nodded and kissed her throat before groaning, "Al-RIGHT, al-RIGHT already! Kitten, I LOVE ya!"

Grinning against his mouth she ran her tongue over his lips and let him pick her up and wrap her legs around his waist before smashing her back against the wall and awaiting her end of the bargain.

"I love you always" her eyes dropped before lifting once more so they could smile mutually at the other before he slowly entered and kept a torturous pace.

Several times she tried to speed it up but he palmed her hips back so she literally was pinned to the wall with her short legs around his waist as he controlled every sigh and scream she made. He alternated between being annoyingly talkative during sex and not speaking at all; this was one of his quiet ones. Though Mrs. Joker wasn't satisfied entirely…

"Laugh for me" she giggled and he seemed amused, pulling his mouth away from her face and neck for a moment to furrow his brow and cock his head.

"Run that by me again?" his tongue darted out over his lips because he was confused, and she giggled before leaning and kissing him sloppier.

"You heard me…I love your laugh" she poked her tongue between her teeth and giggled, "it's so cute."

"Cute…" licking his lips he rolled his eyes and actually laughed a bit at that, "You think I'm 'cute'?"

"Mhm!" nodding happily she began biting all along his face and kissing his neck, "I love my JACK; so sexy and CUTE!"

Smirking at that for a moment he raised his eyebrows and nodded along, "Sweetheart…" sighing he clamped a hand in her hair and tilted her head back, "I really think you need your head further checked"

"I think you need to shut the fuck up; you know how I love you" lightly smacking his cheek, she kissed him again and allowed him to nestle into her collarbone and kiss it.

There was a man made of flesh and blood underneath the monster. Gifted with the ability to detect and manipulate human behavior, the only person he couldn't control was himself. She left him, he wanted to hate her and maybe he did hate her but hate withheld the same passion as love and he was fucked either way. Despite whatever rumors circulated he wasn't some kind of god or an absolute, yet nor was he a troubled soul reaching out for help. Jack Napier was dead; the Joker didn't exist or have a wife but he'd be damned before he let Batman win her over. He had nothing but a beating organ in his chest but if it were capable of being ripped out and packaged in a box for anyone it'd be her. He'd ensure it had a pretty bow and everything. Batman's weakness was his heart; his capability to fall in love and be an ever-bleeding soul…the Joker had none of that. The last thing he wanted was companionship yet he couldn't let her the fuck go. Every mortal man had a weakness, an Achilles' heel…his was Kitten; it always was Kitten, it always would be Kitten even post-mortem he'd haunt her if he could. Love or hate her, there was no such thing as life without her.

_I could fight this to the end_  
_But maybe I don't wanna win_

_I breathe you in again_  
_Just to feel you underneath my skin_  
_Holding onto the sweet escape_  
_Is always laced with a familiar taste of poison_

_I don't wanna be saved, I don't wanna be sober_  
_I want you on my mind, in my dreams_  
_Behind these eyes that I wanna wake up_  
_No, not this time_


	55. Chapter 55: Horse Collars

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Running a hand through his hair and watching the Joker's little video messages over and over again in the Batcave, Bruce shook his head in distress before finally having to stop the tape and drop his eyes. His eyes swelled to the point that it was pathetic and he felt the woman he was taking as his wife slipping through his fingers. Madness was just a state of mind, the girl was batshit crazy when he met her too and none of that mattered. Hell, even after discovering she was the vicious vixen Minx he didn't give.

Dark circles had formed under his eyes and his lightly tanned skin began to turn a shade of milky white from sleep deprivation. He let her go. This was all his fault for falling asleep, and to punish himself he wouldn't sleep again until she was found. He'd tear the Joker limb from limb for using that mentally ill young woman as a pawn on a chessboard to get what he wanted. He planned the death of his own son, Bruce didn't care if the Joker was married to her or not. The man he may have once been and the man he was now were two completely different people, yet whenever he spoke to his fiancée of the matter all her memories of him were bittersweet.

"I like you" that was Amber…once Bruce spun around in his chair he saw the lanky eight-year-old standing all by herself holding a gray stuffed cat she named Kanga Cat in her hand and her lavender pajama set with fuzzy purple slippers.

"Amber?" shaking his head he looked to the elevator which was sitting at their level. Bats flew about all around them and Amber sniffled while staring at the screen before nodding. "How did you…?"

"I can work an elevator, Bruce" she smirked a bit before approaching and sitting in his lap, which he accepted and held her close.

"Why are you up, Pumpkin?" frowning he checked a watch and she shrugged before hugging his neck and resting her head against his, "It's four in the morning"

"I could ask you the same thing" she smoothed his soft dark hair down before smiling weakly, "'creature of the night'."

Sniffling and trying to keep the red from his eyes, he rubbed them furiously with one hand before moistening his dry lips and staring into a paused frame of Minx drenched in blood staring directly into the camera.

"I know I'll never be your father-"

"Stop it" moving his hands away from his face, Amber wiped under his eyes quickly and held his cheeks in both her hands before leaning up to kiss his narrow nose, "You can be my daddy too, Bruce…" she shrugged meekly and twirled her hip-length wavy blonde locks, "if you want to, that is…"

"Of COURSE I do…!" he nodded while petting her hair and kissing her cheek roughly, "I love all of you very dearly."

"Mommy's okay…" she nodded with a weak smile to answer his unasked question, "She says we're the Vikings…you can't get rid of the Vikings."

He snorted and tried to chuckle but no sound emitted from his throat, it was so dry he could barely breathe, "I'm afraid your father's not trying to kill her…" staring at the screen and sniffling he shook his head, "he's in the fast lane to making Mommy just like him"

"He won't hurt her though" she nodded encouragingly and rested her head on his shoulder so his chin could sit on top of it, "he loves Mommy so much"

"He'll make her hurt others who don't deserve it" Bruce's eyes narrowed at the silhouette of the Joker in the background and shook his head, "Your father isn't who you think he is"

"I know…" she said coldly before petting his hair more, "he's not a good man, but he's my Daddy and I love him because he loves me" pausing a moment she knew how bad that sounded so she placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it, "I love you too" she hugged his neck until their foreheads pressed and they kissed, "You're an angel to Mommy…you make her weak like Daddy…" his eyes dropped at that so she turned his face to hers and smiled gently, "only good. You take care of Mommy…" she cooed while petting his face and kissing him all over because he was so pretty, "you love her…you buy her nice things…you play with her…my Daddy was all my Mommy ever knew and she's SICK you don't know how much he means to her"

"Pumpkin, he's evil"

"Mommy's my best friend…" staring at the ground dejectedly she shrugged, "my only friend. I know her really well…" sniffling she giggled a bit and kissed his cheek, "all her craziness. She loves you to pieces, she wants a baby"

"A what?" his eyes brightened and Amber smiled fondly before nodding and petting his face.

"You're so beautiful, Bruce…" leaning forwards she nestled under his chin and smiled, "when you marry Mommy and have a baby it's gonna be so pretty"

"YOU'RE beautiful…" petting her face, he kissed her forehead.

"I wish Mommy could be with both of you…" her face fell and her tone wavered, "I love you and Daddy the same."

"Unfortunately sweetheart, things don't always work out that way"

"Is Batman gonna save her then?" she pointed to the wall where his costume was, and he nodded while kissing the top of her head.

"He'll do whatever he has to."

"Can I be Batgirl?"

He smiled for a moment before nodding and kissing her forehead, "When you're twenty-one I'll take you all to Nepal and train you like I did with Mommy."

Staring at the Tumbler she had to ask, "Can I ride on a unicorn?"

…

"He's after something…" Batman told Gordon as they watched a replay of the Joker's taunt inside his office in the MCU, "Whether it's rational or not he's got motives…plans…he wouldn't be so hell-bent on obtaining Minx otherwise"

"Well…" studying the backdrop of the video with a finger over his mouth, Gordon frowned, "didn't she start off WITH the Joker as his accomplice?"

"Partner" Batman corrected for more reasons than he liked thinking about, "they're partners."

"Nobody partners with the Joker; he's the KING of-"

"I trained her, I know"

"Something intimate?" Gordon raised an eyebrow and Batman bowed his head to confirm, "So…" pouting his lips in interest he nodded along, "whatever the Joker's planning will stop dead in its tracks if we can figure out a way to corral Minx…?"

Batman focused his attention on the video more, "Any lead to her will be booby trapped the Joker knows she's the target, he's planned this."

"So in order to GET to her we should do the opposite of what he expects us to do…" Gordon scrambled his own brains for a moment before brightening with a nod, "it's the least he'll expect."

"He's a pretty difficult person to throw off…" Batman frowned before giving it a thought, "though he's been vocal he hasn't been forward enough to reveal a plan or idea"

"Well whatever he's planning, it's SOMETHING, I mean just look at what he's got on display…" Gordon motioned to the screen and Batman nodded once, "Whatever he wants with Minx, it's nothin' good."

"He's mob-backed…" he frowned, "no one's going to give his location. Going after the mob directly won't faze him, they're expendable."

"Then what the hell do we do?" Gordon shrugged with a scowl, "WAIT until he KILLS someone before acting?"

"I'll wager he's using Minx as a force field to protect his operation"

"Well…" skimming his hair quickly Gordon placed a hand on his hip and exhaled, "if there's one thing I learned it's never wager anything when it comes to this guy."

…

Wearing sunglasses and holding his walking cane, Sal Maroni waited in broad daylight donning a finely tailored Giorgio Armani suit inside a small Italian bistro in the uptown area. At first he played around with a glass of water but then he checked his watch and glanced at the front door, which he should have known wouldn't be used.

"We're…FASHIONABLY late" that smug voice from Maroni's right made him turn and just stare at the Joker looking less foul than usual. Along with the immaculate suit and cleaner-looking hair and makeup two of his gloved fingers were hooked around two fingers of the petite Minx, whose hood shielded her face from view but the glowing cat eyes kept Maroni mesmerized.

"What the hell are YOU doin' here?" Maroni asked Minx crossly, "Last I heard you were hangin' upside down with that BAT"

"Don't think about that right now" the Joker waved his arms to get things back on track and Minx switched to hugging his waist for a moment before going back to the cute little finger-hook they had going on, "alright? All I want…" he wagged a finger at Maroni, "is for YOU…" he pulled a blueprint out of his jacket and placed it on the table, "to build me a fleet of THESE…" as he spread the paper on the table it was huge and written in his Hammurabi code.

Glancing over the plans of the donut-shaped object with no understandable title, Maroni frowned at the Joker, "What IS it?"

"In time" he responded vaguely before rolling the plans back up and sticking them back in his jacket pocket, "And I plan on meeting your Italian friends to…" he licked his lips, "discuss exactly what I want and how I want it delivered TO me…" he stared at Maroni for a moment before looking to Minx and jerking his head back towards the restrooms, which she nodded to and he looked back at Maroni with a grimace and rapid involuntary blinking, "Excuse us for a moment."

"Take your time" Maroni waved them off and the Joker led his wife to the back by the same date-like finger-hook before removing her hood and playing with the lengthy strands of straightened raven hair as he spoke.

"You know what I want…" he meant in his handwriting while pulling another blueprint out of his jacket and handing it to her. Of course he wasn't giving Maroni the original blueprint god forbid the incompetent lost it. There were two other copies of the drawn plans. One was now in Minx's hand and the other was in Mindy's penthouse stashed under her bed.

"Of course I do" pouting her red lipstick-covered lips she smirked, "Who else can decode the damn hieroglyphs?"

He grinned fondly and watched her fold up the blueprint and stick it in her bra, "You do business with the Russian and I'll work over" he licked his lips and batted his eyes sarcastically, "Mar-ONI…"

"Question" she raised a hand and he smacked his lips before pouting them and nodding for it to be asked, "what happens if they both follow through and we are on overload for these things"

"Chances are" he dropped his eyes for a moment before darting his tongue over his lips and nodding, "a certain percentage of the finished products are going to be defective and trust me…" his eyes widened and he pressed his forehead to hers before shaking his head, "we won't run out."

"When do I see you again?" she frowned when he poked her chest where the plans sat.

"Once you…" he licked his lips, "finish the JOB and drop our prints off"

"Our?" her eyebrow rose amusedly and he nodded with a furrowed brow.

"We're in this…TOGETHER, aren't we?"

"I would say synchronize watches" she showed him a cell phone and frowned at the empty pant pocket of his where his gold watch chain once hung, "but you don't got one no more"

"Don't take it from the kid" he shook his head when she pulled a brand new gold watch out from her cleavage with a gold chain exactly like the first one and handed it to him.

"Here…" she smiled weakly as he eyeballed it and gave her a nod before putting it in his pants and clipping it on properly, "where do you wanna meet me?"

"Figure…" looking off to the side he licked his lips and played with her hair more, "if I don't hear from you by eighteen-hundred hours I expect you to answer when I call…" licking his lips his head cocked, "is that understood?"

"Yeah" nodding stiffly she kissed him and ran a hand over his lips quickly before pressing down in a scar on his lower lip, "YOU be careful, alright?"

"Don't you lose my print" he leaned down and kissed her for a few long seconds, "and fucking watch yourself"

She nodded and they kissed again before she touched his chest and gave him another big kiss, "I love you"

Grinning he pulled her hood up over her head and gave her a firm kiss while doing so, "Likewise."

…

Scanning the facility where mass duplicates of his blueprint would be produced, the Joker exchanged glances with Maroni and nodded when Johnny Viti approached since he was the one controlling the factory owned by Wayne Enterprises.

"Joker-man" Viti held up a hand to beckon the Joker towards him, though of course he didn't move unless he wanted to. The Joker did look his way though before nodding for him to continue. "Gimmie time frame."

…

"Minxy…" Dimitrov examined the prints she showed him and nodded along with wide eyes, "this is…" he waved a hand and nodded, "lots of WORK…lots of MONEY…"

"You just leave that to us…" Minx grinned flirtatiously and began tracing a clawed finger along his chest. She wore one of the Joker's gloves on her hand with the missing claws which meant he'd been walking around without a glove on one hand, but no one noticed. "We'll get ya what you need in surplus you just do what we ask ya to do, okay silly?" she giggled and though he couldn't see her face from under the hood, those glowing cat eyes had him hooked onto her every word.

…

"So what is this?" Minx asked kindly with her hood off while hovering behind the Joker as he sat at a workbench in the chemical plant he controlled with her arms wrapped tightly around his neck.

He diligently worked on a large oval-shaped metal donut which to her could be worn like a thick Hawaiian lei. Squinting he screwed something in on the outside and smacked his lips while looking it over under the single lamp he had lit over the table, which was smeared with an array of metal scraps and power drills.

"Suicide collar" he said stiffly before licking his lips and flipping it over to examine his own craftsmanship and ensure everything was correct.

"Is that what everyone's buildin' for us?" the side of her face nuzzled his and he nodded.

"In bulk"

"What is a 'suicide collar'?" her lips pouted and gently her fingers ran through his hair just for the sake of touching him.

"An electrocardiogram reader with an alarm hooked in, see?" he turned it around to show her and she nodded along, "They are…" he licked his lips, "meant to prevent suicide, they had this kind of crap in Arkham I'm stealing their idea"

"Oh yeah?" with a smirk she raised an eyebrow and he nodded apathetically.

"Yeah" he nodded before smacking his lips and turning to kiss her, "You see…when the heart rate of the wearer drops, the alarm is triggered right through HERE" he pointed to the spot and she nodded, "signaling to everyone else we've got on our TEAM" he let her pet his face and smile, "that Bat-breath…" he looked up and waved a hand, "or the cops…or anyone else who pisses me off…"

"Mhmmm…" squeezing his neck tighter she nodded and nestled against the side of his face.

"Has intervened…" he rolled his tongue and kept examining his own device when she frowned and cuddled him.

"Then what?"

"The collar sets off a suicide trigger right abouuut…" clicking his tongue a moment, he found the spot and brightened, "oh! HERE…" nodding at her he pointed to the trigger, "right here and—" he created quite a funny-sounding explosion noise while blowing air past his lips and faking getting his own head blown up before cackling loudly.

"Who's the lucky person to wear it?" she asked plainly after giggling from his demonstration and once he caught his breath he wagged a finger at her and nodded.

"In time I'll show you, I promise"

"Not me, right?" her face paled and he stared at her like SHE was the crazy bitch who made these machines up.

"CLEARLY Kitten I'm not trying to kill you"

"Are these stuck on them forever?" she frowned, "Or…?"

"This…" he motioned to a small little remote at the table, "we each have ONE…"

"You trust me…" her voice dropped and that made him look at her funny, "You…" smiling weakly her eyes widened, "You actually trust me-"

"Of course I trust you, I love you" he told her casually with a dismissive wave before licking his lips and continuing his little explanation with hand gestures and dramatic pauses as always, "Now…" his lips smacked, "you and I both are equipped with our own controls incase those we place in charge do not fulfill their duties unfortun-ate-LY…"

"So we control the collars…" she recited just to get an idea of what he was asking of her and he nodded before raising a finger.

"THAT and something else…" he looked her in the eye and grimaced, "but we'll get to that LATER; right now let's just keep focus on these badass horse collars"

"Horse collars…" she snorted with an eye roll before plopping in his lap since it seemed appropriate and petting his face as he spoke, turning his neck so they kissed occasionally during conversation about his proposition when her leg swung over his hip and she didn't give a damn what he had to say or do about it. In a way he let her control him; which was a scary thought he always refused to let become reality.

* * *

"_Our torments also may in length of time__  
__Become our elements."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	56. Chapter 56: Tough Love

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

As usual Amber sat alone at lunch with her special meal that Alfred made her because even though it was a gifted and talented academy, school food was below Amber Rose Napier. With a sniffle she just sat and ignored whatever snarky glares the other kids shot her as they got their lunch from the cafeteria. By school rules cell phones weren't allowed, but she'd been text messaging her mother all day and apparently she was safe and sound with Daddy. Daddy was also being unusually nice, which made a tingle reverberate through her core because that was how it was supposed to be. All the other kids had normal parents and no, with her mother as Mindy Stratus/Minx and her father the Joker things would be nothing short of dysfunctional but she didn't care. The only problem was Bruce, who she loved so deeply as well and knew her mother did, but the classic case of 'bitch-that-can't-make-up-her-mind' settled with her maneater mother. Two of the most powerful men in Gotham and most likely the world too were raking the other's eyes out for her and she changed teams at least three times.

'Are you eating?' that was the text Mindy sent Amber and before checking all around her to make sure the aids didn't catch her, Amber quickly slid her fingers around her iPhone and replied.

'Yes. I miss you too much'

People around her saw her going back and forth with her mom for a little bit and started to laugh.

"Who's SHE talking to?" one boy elbowed the other, and they snickered at the luminous blonde geek.

"Probably just pretending to have friends" the other said and they nodded, the girls around them giggling too and Amber could only roll her eyes. She heard them alright. If Daddy were there he'd blow them up. He told her that kids who mocked her were the most deserving of being mocked themselves.

'Don't eat anything from anyone' was one of Mindy's responses and Amber pouted her full lips at that.

'Alfred made me lunch Mommy I never eat school food' Amber sent back and furrowed her brow while biting into an apple, chewing and swallowing when the next incoming message was, 'Good girl xoxoxo see you soon'. That made Amber start to cry. Her mother was her only friend she got so sick without her around everything she ever did, she breathed for her mother. Who her mother was with between her biological father and her adoptive father was irrelevant; she wanted whoever made her mother SAFE, whoever made her HAPPY. That was all that mattered. Bruce would give her anything she ever wanted…and deep down so would the Joker. Speaking of…her phone vibrated and she gasped for a moment before recognizing the number and brightening.

'DON'T EAT ANYTHING' came from her father's prepaid number and she nodded along to it, running her thumb over the number before answering, 'I love you.'

…

Thorn and Scarlett sat together at lunch in their regular private school and they also received a packed lunch from Alfred. Things in their school though were quiet since Trygger Napier was killed though; he was quite a popular kid especially being Mindy Stratus's adorable son. The little girls were all gaga for the long pin-straight blonde hair and dark eyes, a reincarnation of his father when he was his age.

"I want a cookie" Thorn looked over at the cafeteria ladies, who seemed to be different than the normal ones, especially the woman at the register who normally was about thirty pounds overweight. Scarlett looked over and wrinkled her nose once she realized that Thorn had eaten everything Alfred gave her and shook her head with a sigh.

"Seriously?" rolling her eyes Scarlett watched Thorn nod before snorting, "You're SUCH a fatass."

"Shut up I want a damn cookie" Thorn took her twin sister's hand and stood from the table with her, tossing her hip-length pin straight blonde hair behind her and getting on line. All the lunch ladies looked a bit…off…today and upon spotting the twins, one of the ugly ladies gave them a smile and a nod.

"Un-REAL…!" Scarlett grimaced and hugged her sister's arm before pulling out her Prada purse since she was the more responsible of the two with their unlimited bank account, "How many you want?"

"I dunno" studying the soft-baked cookies in front of her Thorn was leaning towards just taking the entire tray, "I like 'em all."

"Fatass" studying the tray Scarlett pulled one sugar and one M&M for her gluttonous identical twin, "You eat in a DAY what Daddy eats in a MONTH"

"That chick looks like him" Thorn waved a finger towards the back of the kitchen with a yawn and Scarlett scoffed.

"Please…" at first she rolled her eyes, and then she realized just how familiar the slender frame, lean muscular arms, and beige skin was, "oh crap! It's Daddy in a dress!"

"Daddy's green though" she meant his hair and shook her head, "She's an ugly brunette"

"I agree, brunettes ARE ugly" Scarlett gave her a nod before cringing and raising a finger, "Except Bruce!"

"Yeah, Bruce is the prettiest ever" Thorn went to take a bite of the cookie they would pay for when it was literally snatched out of her hand by the cafeteria lady they said looked like their father from behind…and it really was their father in a pink dress and an apron with an ugly brown wig on in full Joker makeup.

"Don't eat ANYTHING" he pointed at the both of them before turning around so none of the other children recognized him, and the twins exchanged glances before nodding and going back towards the dining area to exchange glances and burst into laughter at their father impersonating a lunch lady.

…

"Daddy came to our school today" Scarlett announced as she, Thorn, and Amber sat around on one of the couches in the den of Wayne Manor flipping through channels and eating popcorn. Chelsea and Alfred were talking with an uneasy Bruce in the kitchen so they could be as vocal as they wanted at the moment.

"Really?" Amber's lips pouted and she nodded, "I talked to him and Mommy too"

"Ooooo you talked to MOMMY?" Thorn and Scarlett's faces lit up.

"How is she?" Scarlett drilled eagerly with Thorn right after her.

"How is she?"

"Tell me tell me tell me!"

"Okay, okay, okay!" holding up her hands Amber took a deep breath and shrugged while hugging Oxa who had joined them sitting on the couch. The cats were most likely being tortured by Chelsea as usual and probably poor Stickers too. "Mommy's FINE, she said she would see us soon…"

"When?" the twins demanded so Amber shrugged and scowled at them.

"How the hell should I know?" she rolled her eyes and shrugged, "All I know is they both made sure I only ate what Alfred packed me at lunch"

"That's why Daddy came too" Scarlett nodded before she and Thorn giggled loudly, "He dressed up like a lunch lady it was SO funny! He looked so cute in an ugly brown wig and pretty dress!"

"Daddy's pretty" Thorn reminded her with a snort, "He's Blaine, remember?"

"Blaine who got his head stuck in a lawnmower" Amber retorted with a snort and the girls were laughing so hard they nearly cried, "Neither of you ate anything, right?"

"No" they immediately shook their heads when Scarlett decided to be a bitch and nag Thorn.

"Well…fatty over here decided she wanted cookies and that was how we saw Daddy-"

"Cookies…?" Amber looked at Thorn in shock and shook her head, "Doesn't ALFRED make us lunch?"

"I ate it all" Thorn nodded stiffly and Amber could only roll her eyes and hug her younger sister close.

"You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"Says who?" Bruce came in holding a very happy Chelsea and Amber pointed to herself before crawling into Bruce's lap as he sat down next to her.

"Says me" she nodded and sacrificed the remote to Scarlett, who went to flip a channel when the TV went to white noise.

"Oh GREAT, idiot, you BROKE it!" Thorn smacked the back of Scarlett's head.

"OW!" Scarlett grunted and would have reached to pull her hair when Alfred swept her off the ground and back on the couch, "I didn't break it!"

"Nobody broke anything…" Bruce spoke up kindly and left Chelsea with Amber to go check out what was wrong with the TV when a handheld camera focusing in some crazy-ass basement came into view with a giddy Minx sitting like a kitten in Donovan Toole's lap, the head of Wayne Foods. A pair of scissors sat in her hands and she laughed this high-pitched squeaky girlish cackle while cutting Toole's hair and sprinkling it in his face.

"There ONCE was a woman who lived with her daughter in the potato garden…" Minx began in her signature squeaky childish voice, cutting more of his hair as he violently struggled to get out of his bonds, to which she smacked the side of his head and pouted her lips though no one could see under the hood, "BE quiet! I don't wanna slip!"

"Ohhh but I think he DOES!" that all-too familiar voice which was manning the camera said, making Minx giggle loudly and grab Toole's chin while staring at the camera, "I think he REALLY does, Kitten!"

Immediately Bruce went to leave the room when Amber's arm shot out and she shook her head immediately from fright, "NO! Bruce, it's a TRAP it's a TRAP!"

"It's a trap, Bruce!" the other girls including Chelsea began to shout, grabbing his arms and legs to keep him from going, they didn't know jack about what was going on…but they DID know their father. Reluctantly Bruce kept his eyes on the screen.

"Dear god, what has he done to her?" was all Alfred could sigh at the display of the girl Bruce had brought home living a double life as a villainess.

"WHAT'D he do, honey?" Minx puffed her chest out while hanging over Toole and leaned towards the camera with a manic giggle, "TELL US when he DID! YES, tell us!"

"WELL, Kitten…" he sighed with an exhale while jolting the camera up and down as he himself nodded, "that's an EXCELLENT question, sweetheart! Let's find out all the…" the camera was turned to the Joker (he was controlling it) as Minx giggled in the background while cutting more of Toole's hair, his moaning and struggling easily heard as the Joker kept the crazy camera angle and talked, "HEROIC things Mr. TOOLE has done for Gotham, shall we?"

The camera flashed back to Minx as she kept cutting closer and closer to Toole's scalp and nodded happily, "YES! Let's show 'em!"

"See THESE…?" a picture came up on the screen of flowing red blood cells with little robotic circles piggybacked on every one of them, "Ohhhh yeah!" his voiceover could be heard over the cell display, "Just LOOK at them! You see them, Kitten?"

"Yep yep!" her voice chirped right in laughing manically in that girlish squeak, "LOOK at all of them! They're so CUTE! And travel-sized!"

The picture cut back to Minx sitting on Toole's lap happily beginning to cut his hair and snipping away at his scalp, getting flicks of blood on the scissors but she just kept going, singing happily as she went, "_La la la! La la la la la la la! La-la-la-la-la-la-la_!"

"Ohhh Kit-ten…!" the Joker cooed with a dark chuckle and immediately her attention snapped to him happily.

"YES, my love?" she responded in a British accent, perking and arching her spine while snipping off a piece of Toole's scalp and making him shriek despite the dirty rag stuffed in his mouth.

"Why don't you…ASK…Mr. Toole what EXACTLY they ARE…?"

"HAH! Tool…!" Minx giggled and poked her tongue between her teeth at the camera before petting Toole's face and cocking her head with pouted lips, "Tell us about the metal fa-jigs, why don't ya Mr. TOOL?"

Giggling she pulled the dirtied rag out of his mouth and leaning forwards in his restraints he gagged before growling at her and struggling violently to knock her off despite his tied hands.

"Let me go, you crazy bitch!"

"SHUT UP!" Minx screamed and smacked the back of his head, "MR. TOOLBOX! Be a good bitch and tell us what you did to all the FOOD!"

"Uh oh…" Thorn cringed at Scarlett and Amber sighed in a whisper.

"They warned us…"

The Joker stepped forwards while keeping the camera focused on Toole and giggled while petting Toole's face with the back of his hand, "You wanna TALK, sweetheart? You wanna TALK…to us and tell everyone what you DID? What you were PAID OFF to DO?"

Turning Toole's chin towards her, Minx wrinkled her nose and shook her head at the camera while speaking in her sweet childish tone, "I don't think he wants to!"

"I think you're right!" the Joker nodded and pet the top of Minx's head quick, which made her purr and arch up into his hand like a cat when Toole growled at the both of them and lashed out.

"You crazy sons of bitches won't get away with this! You'll rot in Arkham, the both of you!"

The Joker cackled loudly so that the camera shook while Minx dove for the rag and chuckled meekly.

"Well THAT'S enough from YOU…!" Minx cringed and worked on stuffing the rag back in his mouth and shaking her head at him, "Whiner!"

"Isn't he?" the Joker sighed before shaking his head and getting the picture of the blood cells with metal piggybacking on them all, "See THAT, boys and girls? All THAT…STUFF…that's stuck on your red blood cells are NANO-scopic PROBES…placed by THIS little fella over here" he laughed and pet Toole's face as Minx giggled loudly too, "through your FOOD you ate at SCHOOL…where it's SAFE…"

"Or so you THOUGHT!" Minx laughed loudly and poked her tongue between her teeth.

"Those PROBES…" the Joker focused the camera on him and nodded while licking his lips, "thanks to THIS GUY" he shifted the camera to Toole before back on himself, "are inside ALL of your children—NOW…" his tongue darted over his lips and he looked off to the side, "before you start to PANIC…they're harmless…UNTIL…" he snickered and raised his eyebrows, "I pull…the trigger…" his voice rose to a high-pitched giggle before growling, "and your children DIE!"

"Bummer!" Minx sighed while twirling one of her claws around Toole's eye socket as if she were going to pop it out.

"BUT!" he licked his lips and nodded, "This CAN be prevented by the good people of Gotham IF…" he raised his eyebrows and nodded, "there's always an 'if'…the Batman's lifeless carcass if brought to me in three day's time…" he brought the camera closer and pouted his lips at it, "don't fuck with me, Bat-breath!"

Delivering his signature wheezy laugh he placed a hand over the camera to end the signal when Minx pouted her lips from over the body and shook her head confusedly.

"Now what the fuck you want Batsy DEAD for, huh? You NEVER wanted him dead!"

Raising his eyebrows and dropping the camera carelessly he licked his lips before shaking his head and wagging his knife while approaching her, "Didn't have anything to WORRY about," he lifted her left hand and scowled at the engagement ring, "now DID I?"

Shaking her head, Minx frowned and pulled her hood off, which made Toole's eyes widen to discover it was Mindy Stratus under that Minx hood with ruby red lips and smoky eye makeup.

"So you're JEALOUS…?" her eyes widened and she nodded at him with a furrowed brow, "You wanna kill him 'cause you're JEALOUS that I'M marrying him and YOU LOST YOUR CHANCE BY FUCKING THINGS UP FOR US—OW!"

For the first time in his life the back of his hand collided with her cheek and her head snapped to the side, her mouth dropping in shock and absorbing the sting from that backhand which hurt more mentally than it did physically by a landslide.

"You wanna know the truth?" he barked, grabbing her by her hair and twisting her around, "HUH? You wanna know? You wanna…" his head cocked and he licked his lips, "KNOW…Kitten?"

Her lips quivered and she started to cry just looking at him.

"I'm INSANELY jealous! You're MY wife! MINE! As far as I'm concerned" his tone dropped from that dangerous growl and he pet her face tenderly, "there IS no 'Batman' he's dead to me. Dead, dead, dead, DEAD! You fuck whoever you want but" his teeth barred as he got in her face screaming in a thick husky Australian accent, "DON'T YOU FUCKIN' LEAVE ME! TWENTY-SIX YEARS! YOU WHORE! I'LL TEAR THIS CITY TO THE FUCKING GROUND AND HAVE HIM BEG FOR MERCY AS I REACH INSIDE HIS GUTS AND STRING HIM UP BY HIS OWN VISCERAL ORGANS!"

"I LOVE HIM!" she screamed so loud Toole winced, and the Joker shook his head frantically with barred teeth and slammed her back to a wall.

"NO…! No you DON'T!"

"YES I DO!"

"Guess WHAT?" he hissed in her face and scowled with a shake of his head, "I really don't GIVE a fuck! You married ME! You're MINE!"

"You're DEAD!" she screamed and tried to slap him across the face, but couldn't bring herself to do so, "YOU DIED ON ME, JACK! DIED! You lost your mind!"

"No…" his voice dropped to a soft coo and he pet her face, "No I didn't…I have YOU! You make me better!" his lips trembled and he shook his head while keeping his forehead pressed to hers and growling, "Kitten, I LOVE you! You drive me fucking NUTS, but HELL, I love you!"

"You can't LOVE, you're a sociopath!" she yelled through tears and shook her head, "You just want me to STAY"

"I'll kill him, you fucking BITCH I'll do it!" his voice dropped to a dangerous growl once more and he shrieked in his native Australian accent once again, "I! AM NOT! LETTING! HIM! TAKE YOU! AWAY! FROM ME! YOU'RE MINE! MINE!"

"You CAN'T kill him…!" she shook her head slowly with barred teeth, "HE will-"

"WHAT? KILL me?" he laughed and shook his head at her, "You REALLY need your head checked, Kitten, I mean…the guy just won't let me go!" he licked his lips and nodded at her, "But I'll let HIM go alright!" he waved a knife in her face and smiled, "I'll let him drop straight to hell!"

Toole struggled in his bonds and yelled through the dirty rag, making Minx wrinkle her nose and growl, "Be QUIET so Mom and Dad can talk, ALRIGHT, TOOL?"

He yelled something else but she waved him off and refocused her attention.

"Tell me…" her voice faltered so she swallowed hard, "WHY…" her head shook dangerously at him, "and don't you lie to me…I can tell your lies before they even leave your mouth; I KNOW YOU, Jack Andrew Napier…you can't lie to me, you never could. Tell me the TRUTH OR I'LL MARRY HIM EVEN IF I HAVE TO FIGHT YOU MYSELF!"

Running a hand through his hair, the Joker pinned her shoulders to the wall and twitched before whispering into her mouth, "I've kept you ALIVE all this time…!"

"Why?" a growl.

"I could have ended each pregnancy but I DIDN'T!"

"WHY?"

Toole struggled once more and Minx growled as did the Joker, "TOOL!"

"I…" he breathed through an open mouth, "SLEEP with you!"

"Tell me or I'll call him right now and tell him to kick your fucking ass"

Barring his teeth and snarling for a moment he clenched both fists and growled while beating them against his temples first, and then the wall on the sides of Minx's head before screaming, "FINE! You want it? You want this? I LOVE YOU! I don't know HOW, I don't know WHY, I don't know a FUCKING thing except that if you walk out that door I will not stop until this city is razed to the ground and I have you again! Even if you HATE me I don't care! I LOVE YOU, Miranda Marie! So help me god, I love you! Since I was a little BOY…!" licking his lips he nodded in her face, "My life was YOU! And now HE wants to take you away…" licking his lips and cocking his head he grimaced, "I don't like that…NOT…ONE…BIT."

"Jack…" her hand went to his face when he couldn't even look her in the eye and kissed her palm quickly.

"There are…" breathing a moment he looked her in the eye, "so many things I want to say to you…" barring his teeth, he dropped his eyes once more and shook his head, "but too many reasons why I can't."

"I know you can't come back…" starting to cry louder she shook her head and touched his face harder, "I know you can't…but I want you to!" stamping her foot and barring her teeth she whined like a child, "I want you to so bad!"

"You wanna know how I got these SCARS?" leaning in her face he heaved and grabbed her chin, "HUH?"

"I know it better than you do…" she heard Toole wriggling around and grunting even more which pissed her off, "MR. TOOL, I SWEAR if I hear you ONE MORE TIME-"

"They're for YOU!" sucking a breath through his teeth he went to smack her but punched the wall instead, "Fucking BITCH! For YOU! For YOU for you for you! And don't you DARE tell me it won't work! CLEARLY we're not cut out for anyone else!"

"You don't WANT anyone else" she antagonized, "You can't FEEL for anyone not even yourself!"

"If I didn't love you I wouldn't MISS you!" he growled, "But I DID" he grabbed her throat, "I DO, and I always will!"

"Don't you wanna see me HAPPY with him then?"

"I'd rather not"

"What's your FUCKING problem I hate you!" she growled and lunged at him when he pinned her wrists to the wall with both his hands and her body with his while slamming his mouth to hers not caring if he covered her with makeup.

At first she fought, and then both legs hooked around his waist and she kissed him back; enjoying the way he was sucking her face off. Pulling back enough to clonk foreheads and then the bridges of their noses he kissed her again before petting her face and accepting the arm she wrapped around his neck. She sniffled to stop herself from crying and he ran his tongue over his agitated lips from kissing before actually pulling her off the wall and holding her in a child-like baby hug. Her head rested on his shoulder for a moment before her lips found his neck and lightly nipped at it.

"What happened to us?" she croaked while nuzzling his neck as he chewed on his scars, "What have we done?"

"Well…" pouting his lips he blinked involuntarily and raised his eyebrows, "YOU can keep off BatWayne for ONE"

"And YOU can stop being an ass"

"You love it"

"You love BATSY"

"Do not"

"Do too"

He stuck his tongue out at her and grimaced.

"I'm not asking you to change who you are now…" she shook her head and frowned while playing with a piece of his wavy poorly-dyed green hair, "I would never ask you to do that…but I want you to love me until we die"

He looked her in the eye for a long minute as if contemplating and trying to process the request before nodding and petting her hair, "Fair enough."

"Aw" Minx frowned and pouted her collagen-fused lips at Toole still sitting gagged and tied to the chair the entire time, "Poor Mr. TOOL…he was such a GOOD boy while Mommy and Daddy were fighting!"

Toole muttered something incomprehensible due to the gag, so still carrying Minx the Joker headed over and frowned, "I'm sorry?" pulling the dirtied rag from his mouth the Joker frowned and cocked his head, "What did you say?"

"Please…" shuddering and coughing he begged the volatile couple, "Just let me go! I have a family, I won't-"

"'PLEASE!'" Minx clasped both hands together and dropped from the Joker's waist down onto Toole's lap, "'Just let me GO!'" she mocked while sticking her tongue out, "'Just let me go, PLEASE don't hurt me! I got a FAMILY please!'"

The Joker sniggered, actually getting a kick out of her performance when she sighed and puffed her chest out towards Toole's face while playing with her claws and the scissors once more.

"Heyyy TOOL wanna play a guessing game?" her tongue ran along her bottom lip excitedly but he shook his head frantically.

"No, PLEASE-"

"How many TOOLS does it take to screw a light bulb?"

"Screw IN, Kitten…" the Joker pinched the bridge of his nose a moment and shook his head when desperate begging caught his attention.

"PLEASE Miss Stratus! NO!" he shrieked when she happily began laughing that freakish squeaky girly pitch and stopped short to sigh and shake her head at him.

"Alright, last one…you get this one right, maybe I'll let ya go!" she nodded happily and poked her tongue between her teeth while drumming it up, "Okay, I got it!"

"Oh boy…" the Joker grumbled and shook his head knowingly when she chirped.

"Who's my FAVORITE movie star?"

Staring at Minx worriedly Toole looked to the Joker who shrugged and folded his arms across his chest, "Hey, don't look at me! It's HER question…"

"V-v-v-v-Vivienne Leigh!"

"Oooooo!" Mindy's lips pouted in amusement and even the Joker nodded along to that one, "Close, but NO! Liz Taylor! YOU LOSE!"

Once again unleashing that childish-squeaky cackle she opened the scissors and flipped them around before jamming them both in his eye sockets…over and over again.

…

"Well…" Amber sighed while pulling Chelsea into her lap on her bed as her sisters quickly joined her long after watching the broadcast that night, "at least we know Mommy's alright"

"We only ate your lunch, Alfred" Scarlett nodded happily while tugging on Thorn's arm as Alfred appeared in the doorway to tuck Amber in and take the other girls to their bedrooms, "FATTY over here wanted a cookie but I TOLD her NO, I did!"

"Tattler" Thorn stuck her tongue out at Scarlett and huffed, "I hope Melanie Badia ate lots of the food…" she sighed on her way out the door, "I hate her"

Scarlett could only sigh in agreement, "Me too"

"Daddy said he'd blow her up"

"Make her a stuffed pig"

"She IS a pig…only if she was bacon I wouldn't eat her"

"Me either"

"Did you ever see the Invader Zim when everything tastes like a pig?"

"I WATCHED THAT with you! The SAME time you did! I was NEXT TO YOU on the couch, Hellen Keller!"

"God's gonna get you for that"

"Mommy says God is dead"

"Mommy says LOTS of weird things"

"Well no shit, she's schizo. Like Gollum with hair."

Alfred could only shake his head with an eye roll at those two. What could anyone say to them? Amber was giggling with a hand over her mouth and Chelsea just sat waiting to be picked up.

…

"I can't NOT go out there, Alfred" Bruce shook his head gravely while watching replays of the broadcast of Toole on the news, "What if people get hurt?"

"And let me ask you one BETTER" Alfred countered with a scowl, "What if someone comes after YOU and succeeds?"

"That won't happen" Bruce dismissed immediately while shifting and adjusting his position on the couch, "I'm in an armored suit, Alfred"

"And what if one of those bloody parents grabs a powerful weapon and attacks out of fear?"

"Look what'll happen if they don't…" Bruce's eyes dropped and he shook his head, "Look what happened to Miranda…lost her son, she lost her mind"

"With all respect, Master Bruce…" Alfred warned him with a sigh while gripping his shoulder, making Bruce look up automatically, "She didn't have much mind to begin with"

"They broke her…" Bruce's eyes dropped and his lips twitched, looking up and shaking his head, "she could only fight so hard, her entire life…" an exhale, "prisoner of her own mind and people tortured her…" his brow furrowed and his mouth hung agape, "her own PARENTS strung her up to die: molested her, beat her, tormented her, but she kept fighting…all alone she fought-"

"Not alone, Master Wayne…" Alfred paused on a frame of the Joker and shook his head, "Miss Stratigias got by with a little help from our friend."

"He made her worse!" Bruce uncharacteristically raised his voice; he wouldn't accept any other answer.

* * *

_"So dear I love him, that with him all deaths_  
_ I could endure, without him live no life."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	57. Chapter 57: Eagle Eye

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

A young teller at Gotham National Bank raised a hand to take the next person in line when she felt a shift in the shadows behind her. At first she turned to see there was nothing there, so she continued facing forwards and took the next customer since it was normal business hours around two in the afternoon. Another shift. With a furrowed brow the young woman turned again to see nothing there and the customer looked at her oddly and scowled.

"Ex-CUSE me…" the middle-aged balding man grumbled at her and she shook her head out worriedly before sighing.

"I-I'm sorry, I…" she frowned, "long day, you know?"

"Just cash this check and let me go" he groaned when a black splotch dropped from the ceiling behind the teller and crept up slow along the ground. No one noticed, not even the security cameras picked it up when there was a low feline growl coming from behind the teller, making the customer narrow his eyes and try to see below the desk. "What the HELL is THAT?"

As the teller turned around to check it out, a frighteningly loud cat snarl came along with puma-sized claws slashing across her face and people screamed. After licking her paw quickly perched on top of the body, Minx smirked and leaped out onto the man next, hooking his head between her legs and flipping his entire body forwards for one of her famous coined headscissor-takedowns.

A man in an office went to sound the alarm when she bounded across the room completely airborne faster than anything anyone in that room had ever seen, smashed through the glass to get in, and landed straight on his hand, coming down with such velocity with such force it was amputated. He screamed at the top of his lungs and Minx rocked back on her haunches while shaking her head and tsking him.

"Little man, you are FUCKED HA-HA HA!" the squeaky girly cackle and she used his face as a launching pad to burst back through the hole she made in the glass and fly over everyone struggling to get out of the building calling the cops at once, but what they didn't realize was men in clown masks closed all the doors and barricaded them shut from the outside, making them all trapped rats. "AL-RIGHT SHUT UP!" she shouted in her high-pitched squeak and all eyes drifted to the high ceiling where Minx hovered with her arms held out dangerously and all her claws extended on her good hand. Claws were beginning to grow back on her good hand, but it was going to take time before it was all regrown. "Get the FUCK on the ground and we won't kill you!"

"We?" one teller who was ducking for cover whispered to the other, who shrugged in fear.

BOOM!

A large blast through one of the walls on the outside startled all as the Joker stood holding a bazooka and stepped through the smokescreen to make women scream and men duck even further for cover.

"Is that what you used to barbecue the Batmobile?" she called out innocently, floating upside down in the same spot when the Joker looked to his own weapon before nodding once at her. Then he looked to his sides and beckoned a group in.

"Get to work!" the Joker waved in a group of men in clown masks who all rushed towards the safes to collect the funds the mob needed in order to carry out with his orders. The amount of material he needed to be put into each suicide collar was costly so he figured he rob a bank or two and be done with it. He was no stranger to robberies, though this one had to probably go down as his most ostentatious...he was impressing a lady.

Minx watched with great interest in the center of the room, playing eagle eye to keep track of all in the room at once since she could detect their pulses, their heartbeats. All was racing so fast she wanted to just spin around and dance to the snare she had going in the background.

Nodding satisfactorily at the way Minx had everything under control from above, the Joker stepped further inside the bank and observed how everyone was lying on their stomachs with their hands held over their heads as if that would save them from sudden death if he or Minx felt so inclined to deliver.

"Any sign of Bat-breath?" the Joker called up to Minx, who pouted her lips a moment and nodded while pointing to her left.

"Thirty seconds!" she nodded and pointed to the bazooka in his arms, "You better make it count he's comin' in on the left!"

"YOUR left or mine?" he called back up when she wagged a finger and found the words.

"Mine!"

"Excellent…" he nodded with a sigh and readied the bazooka, "Twenty-thousand on the Batarang"

"Noooo" her head shook and she turned around to check and make sure the guys broke into the safe, which they did and they were now loading duffel bags with money, "BATCLAW first, sillybuns! He's gotta rip the bazooka outta your hand!"

"Oh yeah?" the Joker smirked while counting down in his head (yes, he had taken her thirty second warning seriously), "Well let's see how fast he can come back from THIS" pulling a crowbar from his coat, the Joker immediately whacked Batman with it as he dropped from the ceiling and stepped away fast, not even bothering to hit Batman again because of what he knew was about to happen.

"It's the BAT!" one man shot up and pointed at the recovering Batman who dropped from the ceiling into a crowbar whack to the mouth when innocently the Joker slipped his gun across the floor. People literally clawed each other to get at it.

"RUN, RABBIT!" Minx spun around in the air when one of the men in clown masks beckoned to her and Batman readied his grapple to get onto her foot.

"YO MINXY!" one of the men tossed their loaded gun to her so she could drop it on the crowd to shoot Batman, and upon catching it Minx flashed her most dazzling smile under the hood and did a corkscrew curtsy without any kind of skirt on.

"Thaaaaaaank YOU!" grinning and spinning back around she aimlessly dropped the weapon into the fray and caught Batman's line before it hooked onto her foot, pulling the grapple from his hands and lassoing it around a high beam projecting from the ceiling. "HAH!" throwing her arms out she grinned and shrugged cutely, "How do ya like THOSE apples, Bats?"

"MINX!" Batman shouted at her while shaking his head in horror and she pointed at the ground happily.

"YOU better DUCK!"

"What?" Batman frowned when POW!

A bullet hit him straight in the chest, but the Kevlar made it impossible to breach with a bullet so he just kept trying to make his way towards the Joker.

"Ooooh!" the Joker cringed up and laughed while watching people panic trying to get a gun on Batman, "Wanna play, Batso? Huh? Wanna play?"

Watching the Joker taunt Batman as he tried dodging bullets people were shooting his way, the Joker's goons loaded the large sums of money into a van out front and they disappeared just as police cars pulled around up front and readied their weapons for the group of hostile civilians trying to take a shot at Batman. Gordon was halfway out of the car but almost too scared to move. Minx snagged a flagpole and dropped behind Batman as he cornered the smirking Joker, hooking the pole against his neck horizontally and choking him with it for a moment.

"Get him, Kitten!" the Joker teased, "GET the Bat-man!"

Hissing and spitting Minx allowed Batman to flip her over his head but she didn't let go of the pole, instead she bent her spine so she made a bridge in mid-air and kicked Batman in the gut. Batman grunted and knocked her back, buying Minx enough time to spin around in the air and face him when the Joker pushed him into the angry mob before simply taking Minx's hand, swinging the bazooka over his shoulder, and strolling away from the scene casually with her as police cars zoomed right by them as if they weren't even there and Batman had to shoot a line launcher to the building across the street to swing himself out of there.

"Hey hey hey get the BAT!" a man shouted and a gun fired again, making people on the street scream as Batman dropped to the ground and Gordon found him to stare at the robbed bank with a seemingly vanished Joker and Minx. They WERE there though, the Joker leaning against the side of a building laughing his ass off while Minx hugged his torso and giggled just as loudly. Their pictures had been taken everywhere, but that was what they WANTED. No press was bad press anymore. They just robbed millions of dollars and sauntered right out.

…

"Babe, I was EAGLE EYE up there! You hadda SEE that shit it was NUTS!" Minx dragged a large stack of money across the room from the duffel bag that it was in at a warehouse near the harbor. A ridiculous stack of money sat in the center for Maroni's men while the Joker had a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth that he was actually kind of chewing on more than sucking the smoke out as Minx continued to be a chatterbox.

Wrinkling his nose at his men, the Joker scowled and cleared his throat behind them as they guarded the door and they all turned to face their gaunt leader, "Um EXCUSE me…" licking his lips and cocking his head he frowned, "I don't MEAN to be RUDE but…" his head tilted as he blew smoke out the corner of his mouth and frowned, "WHAT…exactly…is SHE doing dragging all that into a pyramid while YOU all just" pouting his lips he shrugged and waved a hand, "SIT AROUND on your laurels?"

"Oh!" the men immediately rushed towards the bite-sized feline and took over for her with the money-piling.

"Minxy, Minxy, Minxy stop!" Tommy grabbed the bag from Minx and tugged on her tail gently to make her stop.

"Don't lift another finger, sweetheart" another waved her off as she pouted her lips and nodded along.

"THANK you!" she grinned and patted all twelve of them on top of the head before frowning and pulling her hood off, scanning the room before grinning at the extended hand of the Joker's waiting for her, "THERE you are!" smiling she flew down next to him and landed, happily taking his gloved hand and trying to yank the cigarette from his mouth, "I thought" she frowned as he turned his body so she couldn't rip the cigarette from his hands, "you were not" again she grunted while trying to snag the cigarette but he wouldn't let her, "listening to me-"

"EAGLE eye" he repeated fondly before holding the cigarette away from her face and pinching one of her cheeks, "And you were SO…GOOD at it, Kitten!" pinching her cheek harder he kissed the side of her face and grinned, "In FACT" wrapping his free arm around her waist they strolled away from the decks of cash being stacked and he nodded at her while holding the cigarette between his teeth, "I'm very proud of you"

"You mean it this time?" raising one of her medium-toned eyebrows she wrapped an arm around his abdomen and frowned, "'Cause last time I thought you were, you were REAL mad at me"

"Please" he waved her off and blew smoke from his mouth, again dodging her as she tried to pull the cigarette from him, "YOU think I have the capability of getting mad at you?"

Staring at him with wide eyes she nodded, "Yes."

Smiling gently and snorting at that he pulled out the new railroad gold stopwatch Minx had bought him and licked his lips before kissing the side of her head, "Mar-ONI should be stopping by pretty soon…"

"If Bats don't get him first" Minx frowned and pulled down his lower lip with her thumb, "You KNOW he's out there lookin' for anyone who can connect him to you-"

"US…" the Joker corrected with a flick to the tip of her pointed nose, "he's gunning for US, and I'm okay with that"

"Of course you are" Minx smirked with an eye roll, which annoyed him and he frowned with a twitch of the neck.

"Now what's THAT supposed to mean, Kitten-doll?" one of his gloved hands extended to play with her hair and she frowned before folding one of his gloved hands in hers and kissing it.

"You cannot keep throwing yourself the fuck out in front of moving busses and bombs and bullets and Batpods! I know you do not give a fuck but I NEED YOU, Jack!"

"I thought…" licking his lips he leaned close to her mouth and purred, "you didn't…want…to 'change' me…"

"I am not trying to CHANGE you" her voice dropped dangerously and she grit her teeth, "I…" growling she reached up and pulled the cigarette from between his teeth, "like this SMOKING…"

"Hey!"

She threw it to the ground and stepped on it quickly, "I am keeping you ALIVE! YES" she finished his next question, "for ME! Don't ask, you KNOW the god damn answer of what happens to me if you die…we made the god damn pact when we were twelve, you can-NOT go back on your promise"

He pulled her by her arm forwards and wrapped the arm tight around her hips once her front compressed to his and their mouths latched. One of her hands clenched his while the other hooked around his neck and he pulled back a moment to nod at her.

"Kitten, you know I'm a man of my word…" petting her face with the open gloved palm of the hand he once held around her hips they kissed again, "deal's a deal."

"Yeah…" she smiled weakly and floated about a foot up to kiss him once more, moving to deepen it when footsteps made the Joker pull back and blink at the intruder irritably.

"This had better be STELLAR" he grunted with an eye roll as Minx happily snuggled into his shoulder and began kissing slowly up his neck and moving to bite his ear.

"Boss, Minxy…" the masked man swallowed hard and pointed back towards the direction he came, "Maroni finally showed up…and he wants his money"

"Oh, take a fuckin' powder!" Minx waved it off and sneered before lifting her hood back over her head and hooking two of her fingers around the Joker's so he could lead her. They weren't ever really big public hand-holders; the finger thing was more up their alley. At home the hand situation was a different story or even if they were in a remote location, but in general their M.O. was always the two fingers.

"Is he alone?" the Joker asked the goon who shook his head.

"He's NEVER alone."

Maroni stood before the big pile of money when from the shadows the Joker stalked his way with little hooded Minx following like a good bitch. For a crazy chick she was some piece of ass; WAY above what someone with the Joker's mug deserved. Though Maroni and his men were surrounded by the Joker's goons and freaky Minx with the viper eyes watching from under that hood, Sal stepped forwards and motioned to a large garage door in the back behind the couple.

"Buona giomata, Italian!" the Joker greeted happily while holding a gun in his free hand, "Vorrei pagare in contanti!" (I want to pay in cash)

Though Minx turned about eight shades of red (no one could see it under the hood) and giggled loudly at this undiscovered ability, Maroni wasn't impressed…at all.

"Look, quit with the sideshow imitations and just let me on my way" Maroni said with a bit of a cold glare towards the clown, "I got your shipments right here if that's where ya wanted them"

"Oh it's EXACTLY where I wanted them, THANK you!" the Joker nodded with a grin and motioned to the massive pile of money which was solely for Maroni, "Please…! Help your-SELF! My Kitten slaved over a concrete floor to drag most of it in" facing Minx he scratched under her chin and she purred.

"It wasn't light" Minx continued purring while talking and faced Maroni for a fleeting moment, "I'll tell ya THAT! You boys owe me pizza and a date to Carmine's! I need fettuccine Alfredo and a tortellini soup"

"Tall order, Miss MINXY…" Maroni would have circled her like a vulture but the Joker looked about ready to tear his head off, "but since you were so NICE to us all I think that can be arranged…!"

"Yeah?" now jealous like a green-eyed monster the Joker made sure his men were outside already to collect his collars before pulling out his cigarette lighter and chucking it into the pile of money.

"Hey hey HEY" Maroni lunged for the Joker and Minx yelped before getting ready to pounce on him AND his men, "what the HELL do you think you're doing?"

"Won't have too much bank to take her anywhere…NOW…!" the Joker bounced a bit from laughing so hard as the money lit up like a Christmas tree and immediately Maroni panicked.

"You" he shoved his men towards the pile and scowled, "You get my money you get it NOW!"

Immediately his two men went to do so when Minx pounced and landed on both their shoulders, one leg on the outside of the first man's and the other on the second's outside shoulder. With a grunt she pulled her legs together and smacked their heads together so hard she heard craniums smash. The Joker laughed at that too and Maroni gasped in shock at how quickly and tactfully that move was executed on Minx's part.

"HO-ly SHIT!" Maroni bugged for a moment before swallowing hard and looking to a few of his other men, who pulled guns out and went to shoot the unafraid Joker…

WHAM!

From underneath Minx shot up and pushed both guns into their faces, making them pull the trigger from fear and shoot themselves in the face before elbowing the fifth in the gut and sliding out behind him from an opening between his legs and jumping down so his head sat between her ankles as she stood on his shoulders. A feral growl and Minx flipped backwards in the air with the fifth Mafia man between her ankles and BAM! She landed on his head and posed on top of the fifth guy, barring her teeth to get at Maroni next when the Joker just pulled out a gun and BOOM!

"Ciao" the Joker sighed with a shake of the head before putting the gun away and flipping Minx back over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, watching his men successfully unload the collars packaged in boxes marked for baked goods.

"I didn't know you could speak Italian…" running her fingers through his hair from being slung over his shoulder, Minx sighed and dropped her hood when her rear was slapped, "OW!"

"DARLING…!" lowering her to her feet, he pet her face and winked with a lick of his lips, "I speak WHATEVER you want!"

"You know what?" rubbing her nose against his and smiling sweetly Minx kissed him firmly on the lips and waited for the nod.

"What, Kitten?"

"I say when we pay Dimitrov tomorrow we get a little more creative and rob a casino"

"How?" his lips pouted and his brow furrowed as he looked her in the eye, "Count cards?"

"I dunno" shrugging she ran her tongue up his thin lips and smirked, "YOU are the genius without plans, YOU make it up…" her hand reached around and lightly grabbed his rear before kissing him sloppier and running her tongue along his bottom lip, "Impress me."

"Oh, you just opened up a whole new can of worms for yourself" he nodded before weaving a hand in her scalp and pulling her towards the opened garage door with him, "Now come, come, let's count collars before I gotta remove the bullet and perform voodoo to have Maroni tell me where the rest is!"

"You know voodoo, darling?"

"Not Y-ET…!" he whined through his teeth when she smacked his arm and let him walk her out like a gentleman.

…

Amber sat on her bed in Wayne Manor with a fan of books and papers spread out across the blood red comforter; her homework. With a quick sniffle she chewed her pen cap while keeping her baby pink Macbook open with pictures of Persian cats on her screen since she'd been in touch with her mother, who informed her that their zoo just got another addition thanks to their father. She was trying to focus on the American Revolution but thoughts of her parents really prevented her from paying any attention at all. Her notebooks were covered in doodles all concerning these demented scribbled happy faces and twisted smiles. Her father drew happy faces by making two open scribble circles in black for the eyes and a red pen scribbled smile. He also apparently kept a diary which her mother possessed but never showed anyone. It wasn't a diary so much as it was a collection of newspaper and magazine clippings, almost in blackmail format to spell things and picture what he found funny. More than anything she wanted to get a look at that, but living with Batman and keeping a record of the Joker's philosophies wasn't the most intelligent idea. She knew why her mother hid it. When exactly he made it was a year before he terrorized Gotham for the first time and didn't have anything to his name so he just handed it to her mother to keep somewhere, 'a present' he had labeled it.

A normal family life was something she could never have concerning who her parents were and she knew that, but look at what she was blessed with. Her mother was Mindy fucking Stratus; enough said. She herself was BEAUTIFUL and she knew it as were all her siblings. People didn't like her because of her personality and her intelligence, which she nearly took as a compliment and, though she couldn't tell the other kids, knew they wouldn't want to run into her father in a dark alley. He was a terrible father as far as conventionality, but he did love her in his own way. If not for her mother he wouldn't have cared at all, and just now he was starting to realize having offspring wasn't such a bad idea. He had a crazy-good support system to carry out his tasks and have his back when he needed it (though he'd never admit he needed anything). Mindy used her 'Polish' genes as a cover for their appearance but with the exception of the ice-blue eyes everything came from their father. Their faces, their bone structure, hair color, skin tone…everything was him. Whether or not they ever had another baby especially after Tryg's death was doubtful but hey, never say never. Clearly her and her siblings weren't planned pregnancies anyway.

A knock on the door startled her; she gasped and whipped her head of lengthy wavy blonde hair towards the heavy wooden door.

"Pumpkin?" that was Bruce. Thank god.

"It's open!" she called back and the knob twisted, granting a suit-wearing Bruce entry to the room and she scrambled off the bed to run his way and hug him, "HI-ya Bruce!"

"Hey, honey" smiling gently after he scooped her off the ground he sat on the bed with her and began running his fingers through her hair, which made her sad.

"What's the matter?" frowning she hugged his neck and shrugged, "People are only trying to kill you because my Daddy told them to"

"I know…" his eyes dropped and he chewed his lower lip for a second, "that's what I came in here to talk to you about"

"What do you mean?" now she switched into defense mode for her father.

"I know you can contact him somehow…" his eyes were on her iPhone but didn't touch it out of respect, "There's no use calling your mother her phone was left here"

"So…" her lips pouted and she shook her head with a slight giggle, "You think Daddy's gonna pick up when BATMAN calls him? And tell you where he is?"

"I'm not talking about tracking him through MY phone, Pumpkin…" he pet her face and shook his head, "He'll answer for you though"

"Let me get this straight" her brow furrowed and she cocked her head, "You want ME to help you catch my FATHER?"

"To save your mother and the city, it's the only way"

"No…" her face fell and she shook her head, "I'm sorry, Bruce, I love you but I can't. I'm not a squealer. I can't help you, it's my dad"

"But Amber…"

"If Daddy gets arrested and goes to court he will get DEATH!"

"No he won't…" shaking his head Bruce tried talking in circles to convince her, "He'll have a good lawyer who pleads insanity JUST like the first time and he'll go back to Arkham where he belongs…you can't justify his behavior, he's a mass-murderer"

"I don't want Daddy in jail!" starting to cry now she shook her head, "He's not a bad man, he-"

"Amber Rose, you're smarter than this…"

"My Daddy is NOT rotting in jail."

"Sweetheart no, it's a mental hospital"

"Look, you catch him or if Mommy helps you catch him that's your own deal…" her eyes narrowed and she shook her head, "I'm just not gonna be the one who put him away."

* * *

_"Moping melancholy_  
_And moon-struck madness."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	58. Chapter 58: Hangman

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"You sure this is gonna work?" Minx pouted her lips while walking alongside the Joker in their signature finger-hook towards Gotham Palace, a high-end casino owned by none other than Bruce Wayne. They didn't even change; both dressed in their normal garb and the Joker carried a machine gun in his right arm, holding two of Minx's fingers in his left as they approached the glass doors.

"See this?" licking his lips he pulled the stopwatch from his pocket and she nodded quickly, "Three minutes. Starting now" he opened the door for her and they both went right on over to the craps table. Security guards caught them but froze from fear, not even daring to approach the Joker and Minx as people started to gasp and the Joker fired at the ceiling to make people scream and suddenly quiet down. "Good EVE-ning, ladies and gen-tle-MEN!" swinging the machine gun around he fired at random at a bunch of slot machines followed by all the patrons who originally stood at the table, "The MRS. decided to have date night HERE with all of YOU…!" sniggering he pointed the gun at them all and Minx snipped some poor bastard's tie in half with her claws, "I decided it was a GRAND old idea and now if you'd excuse me…" he moved the machine gun to the croupier, "I never had much luck with gambling" shaking his head he snorted as Minx dove behind the table and just started grabbing chips all worth twenty-five-thousand dollars each, loading them into large folded-up sacks she kept pulling from her cleavage so the Joker could have some fun.

"T-t-t-take whatever you want!" the croupier nodded and the Joker lit a cigarette in his mouth before nodding at him.

"Oh I am…!" blowing smoke in the croupier's face he then tossed the burning cigarette to a wooden table so it could start to light up, "I never was much of a gambler anyway…" licking his lips he pouted them as Minx just tossed sack after sack up and over filled with chips before snagging the machine gun to blow up slot machines, "Speaking of, you wanna know how I got these SCARS?" he nodded and whipped out his knife before grabbing the back of the croupier's head and bringing the blade to his mouth, "My MOTHER…" he shook his head quick, "never held a job in her life"

Minx leaned back and fired away at the slot machines until change began spewing out from all directions, which made her bounce over and fill sacks with as much as she could.

"We were POOR…we were always POOR we had nothing…so she gets into the GAME…card-counting…"

Minx knew it was all bullshit but just let him go on as usual. His story about HER in particular pissed her off the most; made her seem like a total shallow bitch.

"She wasn't very good…one day they carve her face…"

Police sirens perked Minx up and she swung three giant sacks over her shoulder and would have told the Joker to get the rest, but they were just so heavy it pissed her off.

"YOU!" she pointed to a few guards and scowled, "Get over here and lift this shit, its HEAVY!"

"Y-y-y-sure thing, Minxy!" they nodded quickly and handed Minx their weapons; three of them lifting all the sacks and she nodded satisfactorily before tugging on the Joker's coat.

"Let's GO, Cocomo!" she waved him on eagerly and he frowned and shook his head.

"It hasn't been three minutes-"

"It's been long enough, let's GO I hear them!"

"Fuck" he mouthed before cutting the croupier's mouth on one side and grabbing Minx's wrist so they could follow their security escorts out the back at gunpoint and drive away. Gordon ran in with the cops to find absolutely nothing but blood, fire, and frightened survivors holding their heads for cover.

…

"Where do we cash in the chips?" Minx pulled her hood off and sat in the Joker's lap in the backseat, he was just looking out the window so she turned his head to hers and kissed him, "I thought they were casino-sensitive"

"That's not our problem; the Russian's got everything under control"

"You told him we were robbing a casino for his fee?" her lips pouted and he nodded before kissing her quick.

"You think I leave anything to chance?"

"Of course…" her thumb pulled down his lower lip and she nuzzled his nose, "you just 'DO' things…"

Purposely she puffed her artificial chest out and went to kiss him more when he eyeballed her and pet her face with an open hand, "I'm fucking you SO hard tonight."

…

"The JOKER and Minx successfully robbed over what has been estimated as over seven and a half MILLION dollars from the Gotham Palace today before proceeding to attempt to burn it to the ground by the means of a lit cigarette straight from the Joker's mouth" the anchor for Gotham News read as surveillance footage of the couple walking in, taking the money, and leaving was shown on-screen, "Four security guards were taken as hostages while three people were left dead, and twelve were severely injured now in critical condition."

"They WOULD…" Scarlett sighed with a shake of the head, "They did that crap all by themselves, too!"

"I know" Thorn hugged Oxa and stared at the TV in the den with Alfred and Bruce, "they don't mess."

"They're gonna kill those guards aren't they, Bruce?" Amber asked passively and Bruce could only nod once to her.

"I couldn't imagine anything otherwise…" Alfred sighed with a shake of the head, "this is day two, Master Wayne, you KNOW they're going to lure you out there somehow"

"I should have been there for the casino robbery" Bruce said with a straight face, "I shouldn't hide"

"And what IF someone pulls a fast one on you and you're caught at the wrong angle?" Alfred scowled but Bruce wasn't listening.

"No one else is going to die because of me"

"The Joker made a promise to kill every child who ate at school in this city if YOU were not six feet under by his deadline, which is tomorrow!"

"Which is why I have to stop him!"

"Well…" looking to the screen now with glassy eyes Alfred pointed to him, "this may be your chance to do so."

On the TV-screen now was the Joker on top of Wayne Tower with the four security guards and Minx floating somewhere around mid-level of the building with a can the size of her entire torso. The four guards were bound, gagged, and tied with a noose around their necks standing over each of the gigantic silver letters which spelled 'WAYNE', except for the Y. The Joker stood above the Y with a bullhorn as people were gathered all over to gasp at the sight. Also fourteen gigantic red lines with what seemed to be red spray paint were sprayed onto the building in this format: five horizontal lines on top, two in the middle row, and seven on the bottom.

"Well…" Alfred exhaled, "looks like your work's been cut out for you, Master Bruce…"

The lack-of response made Alfred turn and sigh because he was already gone. While wearing oversized 3-D glasses Chelsea grabbed a handful of marshmallows and stuffed them in her mouth like a hamster, making her sisters exchange glances and either laugh or want to vomit.

…

Humming 'I'm a little teapot' Minx glided waywardly around the façade of Wayne Tower, ignoring the choppers which hovered around her and yawning because the weight of the can she was holding was a lot. A large crowd of both people and news reporters had swamped the bottom while all entrances to Wayne Tower were barricaded and closed off to the public in fear of people doing something crazy. Police tried to get in but Gordon had contacted Batman, who was on his way. Now all he had to do was find a way to keep the masses from shooting away at the wrong guy. Minx was worried for a while because there was an unbelievable fear of someone just pegging off the Joker, but in his hand was the control which if they tried ANYTHING he would press that button and kill over half the children in Gotham. THAT was what Dimitrov's job was, to back up and pull together the Nanoscopic probes while Toole managed to get the mob off to put them in the food.

The Joker patiently swayed on the edge with a crowbar in hand and chewed on his scars while waiting for Batman of course, so he could play with him. Maybe one of the coppers would get frisky and shoot him dead; that would be neat. He hadn't tasted blood in a long time and at the moment there was no one he needed dead more than Batman…but not until he had his fun first. Tonight was supposed to be FUN he had a whole game planned.

…

Racing through the parking garage on the Batpod, Batman leapt off and sprinted his way through the barricaded building, throwing security guards out of the way and shooting the Batclaw up the steps so he could fly up all those flights of stairs and kick open the door to the roof.

"MIRANDA!" his rasped voice screamed and yeah, she heard him. It hurt, but there was no way he could respond.

"Now THERE'S a BAT-MAN!" the Joker shouted through the bullhorn and clapped his hands, causing people to freak out at ground level because Batman had to be dead. The Joker instructed to kill him or it would be their children.

…

At ground level two guards exchanged glances and braced themselves for the wave which charged to get through to the roof and immediately Gordon ran a hand through his hair in horror, "We're gonna have to call the National Guard…"

…

Staring wide-eyed at the hostages and the Joker holding a crowbar in one hand and a bullhorn in the other, Batman charged forwards, "What do you want, JOKER?"

Doubling over and giving that high-pitched squeaky laugh, the Joker smiled widely at him and bounced on his toes happily before speaking, "Oh, don't be a kidder you KNOW what I want!" lifting the bullhorn his expression morphed from that sweet smile to a deep-rooted anger, "YOUR BODY ROTTING AND SINKING INTO THE EARTH!"

"Jesus, son of a Christ!" flying up to the roof while lugging the can, Minx's eyes widened at the Joker swinging to hit Batman with the bullhorn so he kept away; she knew that wouldn't hold the meathead off for long.

"MIRANDA!" Batman paused and shouted, also making the Joker turn and wag the crowbar in her direction.

"Kitten, you take care of Bat-breath!" reaching into a guard's pocket the Joker pulled out a taser and tossed it at her, which she caught and fired directly into Batman's chin. Naturally he went to rip it off, so Minx had to drop the can of red spray-paint and pounce, tackling him so his stomach hit the ground and catching the potato peeler the Joker tossed at her so she could hold it to the corner of Batman's mouth.

"If you mooove…" she taunted in that childish pitch, "you'll get an ugly SMI-LE!"

"On one side!" the Joker shouted back as Batman growled and tried to flip Minx over without getting a Glasgow smile.

"Miranda!" Batman used Bruce's voice to try and woo her out of this trance any way he could, "Please…don't listen to him! He's poisoning you"

"SHUT UP!" Minx snapped when the Joker pulled out the remote and shook his head at Batman before beckoning to her to get up.

"Good girl, Kitten, good girl c'mere!" the Joker waved Minx to stand and showed Batman the remote which controlled the probes as he ripped the taser off his chin and staggered back to his feet.

"Here babe" she handed the Joker his potato peeler and they kissed quickly before she grabbed the can back up and hugged it close to herself waiting for the first order.

"You touch me" the Joker warned while showing Batman the remote, "You come NEAR me and I'll make this city's future…" he licked his lips, "drop DEAD."

"DON'T YOU-"

"DON'T YOU MAKE THREATS AT ME!" the Joker barked while holding up the remote, not smiling at all, "I called you out to play a GAME…and if you don't cooperate I'll just have Kitten punt them all halfway across Gotham!"

"I like punting!" Minx called with a happy nod and the Joker giggled before pointing the knife her way and nodding.

"I know you do, SWEETHEART!" it kicked Batman in the guts so he was marking territory, "Why don't you just go down there and get ready for hangman?"

"Hang-man!" flying a loop in the air down Minx went before hovering over her spot halfway down the building just waiting for the first letter to come up.

"Would you like to buy a letter?" the Joker leaned in Batman's ear and asked condescendingly, "You get it right, I'll let these people go!"

"No you won't" Batman growled while staring his adversary in the eye, "You'll kill them no matter what I-"

"Are you calling me a LIAR?" the Joker shook his head and licked his lips, "I don't say something I don't mean, and I mean if you get my god damn phrase right I'll let them go…allll FOUR of 'em! And that's the point; the city assumes your cooperation the less of a chance they'll blow your brains out" he smirked, "I'm saving that pleasure for myself after I turn the LITTLE children into stuffed cabbages!"

"LET THEM GO, Joker!" Batman barked and went to raise a fist, but the Joker hovered a finger over the remote and shook his head.

"Aaah-ta-ta-ta-ta!" he shook his head and pointed at Batman, "NO…" his brow furrowed with pouted lips, "that's a BAD Bat-MAN!"

Helicopters began zooming closer to the two on the roof when the Joker got annoyed and approached the first hostage standing above the 'W'.

"You ought to start picking letters before I start pushing" the Joker nodded wisely, playing with the crowbar and getting ready to hold up the bullhorn. Batman didn't want to pick anything so the Joker raised a foot to kick the first off, "You SERIOUSLY wanna try me, Bat-breath? I'm insulted" he went to kick the hostage.

"A!" Batman shouted because he truly had no other choice, "First letter is A!"

"A…?" the Joker nodded along and walked over to the edge before yelling into the bullhorn, "DO WE HAVE AN 'A', KITTEN?"

Batman spoke up and made the Joker turn, "You don't know the message…?"

"Oh, I do" the Joker nodded with narrowed eyes, "What do you take me for?" he laughed as Minx glanced at the spaces and shook her head.

"NO!" she shouted up and the Joker sighed while looking at Batman.

"Sorry…"

"NO!" Batman lunged forwards as the Joker kicked the first hostage off the building and laughed, bouncing with delight as he was lynched from the 'W' and people screamed, "JOKER!"

"Choose…more…WISELY…" the Joker licked his lips and grimaced as he approached the 'A'.

"E!"

"Ahhh…" pointing his knife at Batman the Joker wagged it and pointed to his own temple with a smile, "going for the vowels first, I see…very smart, have you PLAYED this before?"

"Just get on with it!" Batman shouted as the Joker lifted the bullhorn smugly and called down.

"We've got an 'E', sweetheart!"

"E is good!" Minx nodded while shaking up the giant can and filling in two enormous E's on the last line one space away from the other towards the end, "NEXT LETTER, SWEETIE!"

The hostage took a breath of relief and the Joker shook his head and patted the guard's back, "Oh, don't get too comfortable YET…" he switched his gaze to Batman, "We've got two E's in the last line, you're not such an idiot after all-"

"I!" Batman nodded, "I!"

"I, KITTEN!" the Joker shouted down at her through the bullhorn, "We've got an 'I'!"

"Good CHOICE!" Minx called back before spraying a huge I in the first spot on the second row, "ONE 'I' SECOND ROW!"

"O!" Batman said to the Joker to call down to Minx, "O."

"O!" the Joker called down to Minx and she happily began spraying. Two huge O's sat in the first row and one in the second spot on the last line.

"THAT WAS A BIG ONE!" Minx shouted up, "Good JOB, BATS!"

"Do ya REALLY wanna buy that next vowel?" the Joker teased Batman, making him think twice while looking at the remaining three hostages and trying to make sense out of what was being spelled in his head, but nothing so far.

"R"

"WE GOT AN 'R', KITTEN!" the Joker called down and she nodded while spray painting two big 'R's in the last line. The second syllable of the last word had to be 'ever', so he said the next letter.

"V!"

"One V coming right up!" the Joker called down and signaled for Minx to spray-paint the V, so since that was indeed 'ever' and there was an 'or' before that…

"F!"

"No fair!" the Joker stamped his foot as the last word was completed to be 'forever', "Try AGAIN!"

Now Batman froze uncomfortably, he had four letters left and three men left alive…

"N" he nodded at the Joker, "N"

"NO!" Minx shouted from below, flying up and waving the Joker on, "Kick him, darling!"

"NO!" Batman tried again to lunge when Minx shook a clawed hand and grabbed another red spray can, chucking the first one all the way down at the mob of people making them scream as it smashed a few skulls in.

"Nighty-night!" the Joker kicked the second and he was lynched from the 'A', "You got two more screw-ups, Bat-breath!"

Now the Joker made his way over to the 'N', waiting impatiently for the next decision as Minx flew down back to her lovely message people were trying to spell out. Batman already had found the next letter, considering N wasn't the answer.

"S" he hissed at the Joker, "the next word is 'IS'"

"VERY good!" his lips twitched in amusement and he shouted down to Minx, "KITTEN GET THE SECOND WORD FILLED IN!"

She spray painted a giant 'S' and folded her arms behind her back as people broke into Wayne Tower below and plowed right through the police to get to Batman, making her gasp and shake her head in shock.

"Three more letters, three more letters…" the Joker sighed and shook his head, "what are you GOING to do NOW?"

'IS FOREVER' something is forever…something with two O's is forever. Now that he narrowed it down there was only one option.

"Blood" he hissed at the Joker, "the word is blood. Blood is forever, that's the phrase"

"Oh damn you!" the Joker waved him off and kicked the last two guys anyway; "YOU'RE not fun!"

Immediately Batman ran to see if they were struggling, actually moving to shove the Joker but remembered the warning and couldn't. Minx spray painted the entire message and threw the can down at everyone before getting the hell out of dodge and flying up towards where the helicopters began to fire on the roof.

"FUCK!" she shouted upon landing and made eye contact with Batman for a few seconds, "I would get the FUCK outta here if I were you!"

"What difference would it make?" frowning he stared at her longingly and it had bought the Joker enough time to grab his crowbar and whack Batman as hard as he could with it.

"NO!" leaping back as bullets began to rain at them, Minx shook her head and grabbed the Joker by his vest to point at the chopper shooting at them, "COME ON, we'll get him tomorrow!"

"I want him TONIGHT!" the Joker screamed at her when she slapped him across the face and pointed to the stairs which Batman came from, probably supporting an uncanny amount of angry citizens running with torches for the Dark Knight.

"THEY…are supposed to get him tonight and IF NOT we'll get him TOMORROW!"

As they were arguing, Batman shot his line launcher to a lower building and rode down it before jumping to the next, and then the next, as far away as he could physically go. Panting, Minx quickly touched the Joker's shoulders and nodded.

"You are gonna have to hold onto me, alright? I can-NOT carry you that long and we have to fly all the way down-"

"Sure thing, Kitten" he hopped into her arms like a bride and laughed at her as she grunted and struggled with his weight for a good three seconds before dropping him and smacking his chest.

"YO!"

"I thought I was light" he frowned when she rolled her eyes and growled before shaking her head.

"NO! Piggyback!"

"Are you kidding?" he snorted when she shook her head with a scowl and jerked her head behind them.

"You piggy this shit before I smack your face" she watched him walk behind her and hug her neck quickly before actually jumping up and letting her hold onto his legs.

"I'm WAITING for you to slip-up and drop me" he nodded in her ear as she struggled to float because he was NOT a small guy by any means. He may have only weighed one-sixty, but she was ninety-five at best because of her height.

"DO NOT taunt me, Jack!" she growled before literally dropping off the edge of the building JUST as people broke out onto the roof, the Joker craning his neck to try and catch a glimpse of the action as she literally dropped a good twenty feet before using whatever strength she had in her to guide their feet to the ground and actually hold hands while casually strolling away from the scene. She grinned smugly, "You can call me Daddy."

The Joker went as far as to take one of her hands and kiss it, "Never."

…

Heaving as hard as he could manage to work his lungs, the Joker coughed a little bit from his position lying over Mindy in her bed later that night, actually following through with his word. While catching his breath in a post-orgasm euphoria he dropped his head to her collarbone and just kissed along her lower neck and breastplate.

"Jack…" keeping her legs locked around his waist she hugged his sweat-coated back closer to her bare body and giggled because she didn't need a mirror to catch all the white, red, and black makeup all over her face and upper body from him kissing her.

"You're always…" rasping against her neck he kissed the icy skin and frowned, tracing a few fingers along her jaw affectionately, "so COLD…for someone with such a high body temperature"

"You know I have anemia, darling" she kissed the top of his sweat-sticky head, "I will always be cold"

"You take iron pills, am I cor-rect?"

"Yes" she kissed the top of his head again and combed her fingers through the sweaty green hair, smiling at the long uneven blonde roots and kissing them, "Am I too cold for you?"

"Perfect" another exaggerated exhale and the side of his face scraped against her breastplate, making her squeeze his body even tighter and actually smile because he was NUZZLING her. His semi-bearable moods were hard to come by, so the whole past hour and a half with the two of them since they came home was all just so surreal even though she knew he promised sex. It was the WAY he had been doing it lately which was making her so elated.

"Who needs dating when we can terrorize the entire city and then come back to fuck each other?" she giggled with a shake of the head before stroking down one of his lean arms and kissing his fingers when he reached up to put them by her mouth.

"You know what makes me LAUGH, Kitten?" he asked, blinking involuntarily and not even looking up at her. His position just lying on top of her with his head nestled right above her breasts was too comfortable to move.

"What?"

"AIDS" he snorted and glanced up at her lovingly, most of his makeup either smeared all over the place or sweated off, "How fucking stupid can you be?"

"I agree…" running her fingers through his hair she nodded with a furrowed brow, "I mean…if you're gonna have sex with someone you SHOULD know them well enough to be able to tell if they have a god damn STD, they ALL piss me off! What kind of a SLUT-"

"You see what it does to people?" he meant AIDS and shook his head with a laugh, "They get all…sunken in and shit…and those UGLY tumors"

"Like seriously?" pouting her lips she shrugged, "If you don't know who you're fucking wear a god damn condom. Like, I know YOU" she began petting all over his upper body, "I have babies with you…I'm married to you…besides Bruce you're the only boy I ever touched"

"Flattered" his face fell and he replied tersely, which made her cringe but he thought she deserved to feel that way, "You wanna know my number?"

Her face fell.

"Yeah" he nodded, "you SHOULD feel that way. The fact alone that a guy…like ME" he licked his lips, "would be the better of us"

"I thought we were okay?" she frowned when he wrinkled his nose and grimaced at her.

"When did I ever hint at hostility?"

"Wh-"

"The NUMBER ordeal?" he snorted, "Kitten…at this point you did it. You fucked the Batman. You learned."

"I love you" she kissed his forehead when he crawled his way back up so his face hovered directly over hers and then they kissed, "You're still beautiful"

"You mean it?" he purred while watching her nod, playing with the thick raven locks of hair which splayed over the pillows and absorbed the dim light of the bedroom the dye she had was so luminous.

"I always mean it" her hands gingerly ran over his cheeks before rubbing the scars and leaning up to suck on his lower lip and delve her tongue into a scar on the bottom, "You're so beautiful, Jack, you never saw it."

"Kitten…" grabbing her chin he exhaled and looked her directly in the eye, which brought her fingers up to gently trace the outline of his small dark eyes wreathed in smoldering raccoon black, "before…I became…" he motioned to the suit he had folded up on a dresser and the scars on his face, "THIS…" his tongue ran along his lips, "I seriously contemplated blowing my brains out."

"I loved you…" her lips pouted worriedly and her head shook, "no, why would you do that? Why would-"

"I thought you LEFT, remember?"

"I didn't"

"Well…" his head cocked and he frowned, "I know that…NOW…"

"You got sick, darling…" she touched his face lightly though he didn't want to hear it, "If I had known you were sick I woulda said no to the record people and stayed HOME with you!"

"I know" sighing he pet her face with an open palm and watched her slowly kiss it, "You came back, that's all that-"

"You woulda loved me even if I didn't…" she said wryly and happily accepted the deep kiss from him, moving her hips with his just to keep the cycle going because he felt so good.

"I may just knock you up again for that."

"Nuh uh" shaking her head she kissed him harder and glided her tongue along his, "I take the pill and YOU are becoming a lot nicer"

"You deserve it now" he shrugged and drove himself into her harder so she gasped, "I've been waiting YEARS to fuck you like this"

"PLEASE" grinding into his bare flesh she begged, "do your worst."

Their mouths latched, tongues caressed the other, and the intensity of his movements changed as she matched his pace to steadily drive each other to release yet again.

* * *

_"With a smile that glow'd_  
_Celestial rosy red, love's proper hue"_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	59. Chapter 59: Blackgate

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"Two nights in a row the Joker and Minx have tormented the city of Gotham with two armed robberies and a demented game of hangman on top of Wayne Tower, resulting in four security guards from Gotham Palace dead" the news anchor read off the teleprompter and both Alfred and Bruce watched the evening news broadcast the next day.

Neither man said a word but together they watched the male anchor read before a strange set of words began to come out of his mouth.

"I gave you two chances yet the Batman isn't dead. What is it going to take for you people to understand I am going to kill all your children? One push of a button and every little ray of sunshine in this city is sawdust. How hard is it to kill a Bat-man? For god's sake, he's a loser dressed up like a bat with a cape! I know you tried, and I know you fought hard to get him, but sometimes it truly does take the extra mile and you all failed. Ha ha…ha ha…ha ha ha ha…during the Black Death in Europe they dug pits and burned the bodies because they ran out of graves to match the death toll. You have no one but yourselves to blame, so why don't you go read your kids one last story? Ha ha ha ha ha ha…"

The camera cut to Commissioner Gordon tied to a chair and gagged in the Guard Room of Blackgate Penitentiary wearing a crazy donut-shaped metallic object around his neck with Minx happily sitting in his lap and waving at the camera.

"How's it goin', BATS?" she smirked while snaking an arm around Gordon's neck and giggling wildly, "He was GONNA push the button but…" sighing she shrugged and leaned back against Gordon's shoulder giggling, "We JUST couldn't do it without you! Why don't you come on down to Blackgate and we can REALLY have some fun!" her tongue poked between her teeth and she laughed that annoying childish high-pitched cackle before floating over and turning off the camera.

…

Batman sped through the streets to get to the bridge which would take him to Blackgate Penitentiary on the Batpod. Whatever was going to happen, everything was ending tonight. There would be no mistake of that.

…

Holding one of the Joker's knives in the Guard Room, Minx pranced around Gordon in the chair with a giggle and a skip in her step.

"Gimmie an M! Gimmie an I! Gimmie an N! Gimmie an X! Gimmie a Y!" sneering with a sick smirk she stopped in front of Gordon's face and licked her lips before talking, "What's that spell?"

Gagged, Gordon couldn't answer nor would he answer to this madwoman. She didn't take too kindly to that.

"I said WHAT'S THAT SPELL?" she screamed so loud he winced so she ripped the gag out and waited impatiently for him to shakily answer.

"Minxy…" he squeezed his eyes shut and winced when Minx took off his glasses and put them on herself.

Nodding satisfactorily she shifted her weight, "You're damn right."

…

On the roof of Blackgate, the Joker tossed a remote in a single hand and caught it while waiting impatiently for Batman. A bazooka hung loosely in his opposite hand which dragged as he walked. A walkie talkie sat in his suit pocket while the other was in the Guard Room with Minx so they could kind of communicate. They didn't really NEED to though, there was enough faith installed in the other to carry out with their jobs and each knew what had to be done without much guidance. Several Blackgate prisoners surrounded the Joker wearing those exact horse collars which was around Gordon's neck and holding machine guns.

Out the corner of his eye he caught the Batman speeding along the bridge on his little bat-bike right past a bunch of confused police officers who had set a barrier without the Commissioner because he was apparently a hostage. The Joker held up the walkie talkie to his lips and stared at the oncoming Caped Coconut.

"Kitten…"

"He's here?" her high-pitched little squeak replied, and he grimaced with a nod.

"Have fun."

…

Entering the Cells Access area of Blackgate, Batman immediately froze and scanned the area. Dead guards and prisoners with Glasgow smiles and the Joker's signature makeup on their faces littered the area, including the main guard behind the glass which was held in a small office to Batman's right. The dead guard hovered over a TV where it turned on all by itself for Batman to see Minx smiling and keeping her arms around Gordon's neck from behind.

"Heeyy, Bats! What's new?" she giggled while poking her tongue between her teeth, "We're SO glad you were able to come tonight and the widdle people didn' blow ya into little bits! Aren't we, Commish?" she giggled into Gordon's ear and he tried to close his eyes to drown that girly giggle out when she moved from behind him and sauntered towards the camera, swinging her hips as she went and swinging her tail around, "He's such a kidder!" she poked her tongue between her teeth and shifted her weight like a Barbie doll, "NOW…I'm SURE you're WONDERING about what we want with good old Jimmy Gordon right here, and…" she ran her tongue along her bottom lip with a sick smile, "I don't think I really wanna tell you, Bats!"

"Miranda…!" Batman tried to plead with the TV but she clearly couldn't hear him.

"I mean," she chuckled darkly and shrugged, "What difference would it make if you were to know that in order to ahh…'SAVE'…the little children you gotta cut it RIGHT outta the Commish's GUTS!" lifting Gordon's shirt as he struggled she revealed a long-ass line of stitches over his abdomen and a remote control exactly like the Joker's in the middle of his stomach, "HOLY gastrointestinal indigestion, Batman!" her hands slapped to the sides of her face and she teased with a loud cackle right after, "Tsk tsk tsk, Commish! What were YOU" she poked Gordon's nose sternly, "eating before dinner? Fatty!" a psychotic laugh and she shook her head while petting Gordon's light brown hair distastefully, "Do ya REALLY wanna save 'em now, Bats? I mean" her lips pouted and she frowned, "We ALL know you got a thing for middle-aged cops who wear dorky GLASSES!" she was actually wearing Gordon's glasses the entire time, "My husband told ya not to fuck with him…" she exhaled dramatically and shook her head wryly, "You came here that's YOUR tough luck 'cause uhhh…" licking her lips slowly she smiled, "You'll be DEAD before you get to us! And ahh…" she smiled, "good LUCK…cuz ya CAN'T come out the WAY you came iiiii-nnn!" she said in a sing-song tone before giggling loudly and doubling over as the screen went to white noise.

Immediately Batman's hands went to the automatic metal door to open, but everything was sealed shut exactly like she said.

"Oh SHIT!" that was Minx's voice over the intercom, "You probably want epic battle music, don't you?"

"MIRANDA!" Batman threw his weight into the door to try and open it before growling at the intercom, "MIRANDA!"

"Hold ON!" her irritated grunt came over the speakers, "I'm gettin' the tunes, I'm gettin' them! Cool your shit!"

…

Turning around in the swivel chair to face the tied Gordon she wrinkled her nose and asked him, "What do YOU think, Commish? A little Mozart? Some Bacciavelli? Trans-Siberian?"

Gordon didn't respond so she narrowed her eyes in dissatisfaction before shaking her head with a sigh.

"No…me either…Batsy needs somethin' with a little bounce in it to hurry his black ass up…" poking her tongue out a little bit she found one she liked and giggled, "Oooo YAY Youtube!"

…

'Hey Baby (Drop It To The Floor)' by Pitbull featuring T-Pain began to BLAST over the intercom systems all over the place and Batman could only roll his eyes, unable to expect anything less from her at this point.

…

Minx sat in the chair waving her hands like an imaginary orchestra conductor and swaying to the hyper dance beat while mouthing the words. She then proceeded to get up and dance around Gordon as if he were a campfire.

…

"Miranda…" Batman grumbled with a shake of the head when he came across men's and women's bathrooms.

The area was a large open white-tiled space with flickering lights all over the place, so just incase there was some bastard waiting for him in there he walked into the men's room first. Slowly he moved past each and every open stall when he spotted an arrow written in blood on the wall along with a demented Joker happy face exactly as Amber drew it in all her notebooks to copy her father's style. Cautiously sucking a breath and picking up his speed, Batman stalked towards the sign and turned to find a janitor strung up above the toilet with both arms nailed to the wall, naked, and his head tilted slightly to the side with his bare feet nailed on top of the other…a mockery of Christ. The old man's face was completely cut open so all his teeth were exposed and his tongue had been pulled through a hole in his slit throat. Batman jumped back and nearly gagged while shaking his head at the wall where, 'HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA' was erratically written in dripping blood all over the place.

"JOKER!" Batman growled and backed away from the stall when Minx's shrieky cackle came from the loudspeaker followed by 'Macarena.'

"Good FIND, Bat-FACE!" she laughed nefariously in that high pitch and Batman could only groan with a scowl.

As Batman left the men's room to approach the women's he passed by a mirror, which didn't show his reflection but his skeleton. It was some kind of crazy x-ray mirror and he didn't like it one bit. Shaking it off he approached an automatic door which scanned him and opened up to the Main Cell Block. Two high offices were there along with a tommy gun mounted on the wall and a shit-ton of empty cells, which did worry him especially when the doors slammed shut behind Batman and the door all the way towards the Guard Room opened, a large amount of prisoners holding machine guns and wearing those strange collars marched in as 'Larger Than Life' by the Backstreet Boys started up.

All Batman could really wonder was what exactly those metal horse collars were, and the men quickly surrounded him readying fire when the music lowered only for a second so Minx's sweet laugh could be heard over the loudspeakers.

"I wouldn't HIT THEM, Bats…!" she taunted with a snort and a shake of the head, "Ya see those purdy widdle collars around their necks? The SECOND you knock them out and their heart rate drops Ka-POW! Their heads go SPLAT and you killed someone! Not a nice way to go, Bats! THEIR brains are on YOUR hands...and they got machine guns! Good LUCK, Batsy!" she hung up and the doors to the Guard Room closed, leaving Batman locked in a room with between fifteen and thirty armed men holding guns and wearing the collars.

"Get the BAT!" quickly they began to surround him, giving Batman no choice but to grapple out of there as they began fighting and he landed on a railing on the third level, deciding the only way to get away was by private sneak attacks.

"Oh!" Minx's voice yet again, "I almost forgot…" every single light in the room powered down, "Since I KNOW you love to play in the dark…nighty-night BATS! Muah!"

'Don't Stop Me Now' by Queen came on next…how fitting. Bitch. If he didn't love her the way he did he'd have to kill her.

"Hey!" one of the men shouted, "Where'd he go?"

Immediately Batman jumped to the railing on the opposite side of the third floor, flipping on his night vision through his cowl and trying to pinpoint all the men's locations to get his bearings. In order to get to Minx he was going to have to stealthily get them all one at a time, moving from spot to spot until they were still conscious but not able to interfere.

"You clowns go that way…" the first prisoner pointed all the way to the left and the others followed, "YOU…" another group, "center…we got the right…"

About five headed Batman's way, so creeping around one by one he dropped upside down and pulled them up with a hand over their mouth, taping them quick since the music was really loud and stringing them upside down. He had to glide from one side of the corridor to the other until all five were strung upside down from the railings and he had to creep into the middle. Here he worked on the floor and actually Batclawed the weapons away before shoving them into cells and swinging them closed, locking the next bunch in and moving to the final one before the locked doors to Minx and Gordon. The final bunch still wandered about aimlessly, and it made Batman wonder if Minx shut the lights on purpose to help him…she knew he worked in the shadows. Whether or not the Joker knew that would be interesting unless he too wanted her to shut the lights out. They must have WANTED him to find them. The final group received Batarangs to knock the weapons from their hands before Batman hoisted them in the air one by one to lock them in independent cells. This way they could scream all they want but not get their heads blown off. The music stopped and the intercom came back on.

"Holy DARK HORSE, Batman! You're almost there! You little NIGHT-CRAWLER, you! Movin' in and out like a big old creeper!" a chuckle, "We're in here waiting for ya…" the voice dipped to a sexually cool tone, "Come on in…"

The intercom hung up. Pulling out his cryptographic sequencer Batman knelt in front of the box which kept the system locked and began swirling his thumbs around, waiting for the backlight and wavelengths to turn green before the door shut down and opened on its own. A light was on in the Guard Room as the door slammed shut, and upon looking into a glass on the side of the room he found Commissioner Gordon tied to a chair with no one else in the office. Gordon's mouth was gagged and he seemingly was trying to yell something at Batman but it was too late.

"RRRAUGH!" Minx dropped from the sky and sat on Batman's shoulders, hissing like a cat and extending her claws when Batman ripped her over his head and she went flying, "FUCK!" hissing she caught herself in midair and shook her head at him with her tongue poking between her teeth, "Ohhhhh" she groaned and shook her head with a sick smirk and a lick of her lips, "YOU shouldn't a' done that…!"

"Minx, PLEASE!" Batman had to yell in his growl because Gordon was there and couldn't know she was Mindy, "I don't want to fight you"

Throwing her arms out, she laughed and shook her head at him, "That's YOUR tough luck!"

He wanted to smack that childish squeaky tone she was using, but at the same time his tone of voice bugged her too so he had no room to talk.

"Please…" preparing a Batarang he begged her, in no mood to shoot her out of the air.

"Throw that thing at me, I dare you" she saw the Batarang and giggled, keeping her body in line with something behind her so when he reluctantly threw it to knock her down she corkscrewed her body so it smashed into a giant Joker gas container behind her and the green stuff sprayed right into the room, filling it up fast, "HAH!" flying over Batman's head she watched the room fill and opened the automatic door only a crack so only she could slip right through it, "Have a fun-filled evening with Jimmy-boy, BATS!" smiling sweetly as Batman dropped to one knee to cough she waved with a high pitch, "Ta TA!"

The door closed shut behind her and Gordon was gagging too, even more worse for wear than Batman because he was tied down to a chair.

"Jim!" coughing and struggling to get to his feet Batman staggered into the office to pull the gag from Gordon's mouth and untie him from the chair. Gordon coughed and held his shirt over his mouth before shaking his head at Batman and gagging some more.

"There's…" he coughed and shook his head while trying to peer through the gas, "She's got the place like a rat trap there's no way out!"

"No…" shaking his head and backing out of the office with Gordon into the regular Guard Room, Batman searched about, "there's got to be another…"

A vent above the office caught his eye.

"Hold on…" coughing he pulled a Batclaw from his utility belt and fired it to the vent, growling and gagging as he pulled the metal free and hoisted Gordon into the air first to climb through. Green gas obscured just about everything free as Gordon breathed a deep breath of fresh vent air and began to crawl inside, the pain in his abdomen excruciating since a controller was sewn under his skin but there wasn't much he could do to ameliorate it. Squinting Gordon crawled forwards and saw light from another exit of the vent, and he had to catch his breath before calling.

"Light! I see light!"

THUD!

Batman grappled to the vent and climbed in right behind Gordon, taking a moment to cough himself before pushing him forwards and coughing some more.

"Keep moving! Watch for any sudden openings and WATCH FOR MINX!"

"Got it" Gordon proceeded to move through the narrow opening with Batman behind him and got to the next room eventually, "What do I do?"

"Kick it in…" Batman nodded and backed up so Gordon had some room, "but be careful! She's out there…"

"Trust me…" Gordon kicked the vent as hard as he could and made a dent.

"Keep going…"

"I'm not open to attract that siren anytime soon…" again he kicked it.

"Almost there…"

A third kick from Gordon and the vent dropped.

"Oh lovely" Gordon exhaled and went to drop down when Batman grabbed his ankle.

"No!"

Gordon craned his neck to stare at Batman oddly.

"Check the ground first…" Batman whispered and Gordon did as he was told, dropping to the floor with Batman following right after into the Controlled Access area. Making sure the coast was clear, Batman took a deep breath and looked to Gordon, "It's not safe for you here…"

"No kidding" he motioned to his middle, "the fate of Gotham's youth is in my stomach."

"I would make you leave but I don't know which parts of this building are booby trapped as of now the only way out is up"

"So what should I do?" Gordon shrugged when Batman took a few steps forward, was scanned by a door and had it opened to Extreme Incarceration where Minx stood above a large domed cage laughing her ass off at the two of them.

"Stay in here" Batman turned and entered the room to have the doors slammed shut and Minx floating around upside down.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the Caped Coconut himself!" she laughed loudly and shook her head at him while flipping back upright so her hood fell off her head and he could see her beautiful face, "Suck any BLOOD on your way here, Bats?"

Staring Minx down Batman narrowed his eyes and grapple launched up so he stood on the same high clear floor Minx did, "Enough with the jokes, Miranda" his tone switched back to Bruce Wayne to try and convince her, "This isn't who you are; you don't KNOW what you're toying with!"

"Oh, but I know damn well" she nodded curtly and glared at him while folding her arms across her chest in a huff, "Looking for THIS…?" she pulled a remote exactly like the one which was inside Gordon out of her cleavage and laughed dangling it in front of him, "TOO BAD!"

"Miranda!" he watched her stash it back away and shook his head, "PLEASE, sweetheart don't do this! DON'T! Do this! You can come home with me and forget this ever happened-"

"And WHY would I wanna do a thing like THAT?" her nose wrinkled and she spat, "Clearly I was just your god damn rebound from a dead chick" reaching behind her she pulled a lever which made the entire floor electrocute and Batman yowled in pain, "Not to mention" she was floating and unaffected by the volts which made Batman convulse violently and try to pull himself up onto a railing, "how fuckin' NASTY you were to me on-"

"I'm…" he breathed hard through his mouth and stared at her in adulation, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry for everything please, let me make it up to you! I swear even if it takes my entire LIFE" he finally made it to his feet and held onto the railing as she floated closer from the electric floor, "I'll make it up to you! Just don't do this…" his breathing was getting much harsher by the second, "don't be like him…he's driven you into the ground"

"And I love every SECOND of it" with a grunt she front-kicked his face and flipped behind him to kick him again onto the floor, throwing her arms out dangerously and screaming as he forced himself to his feet, "GET UP! GET UP NOW!"

Batman sucked a breath through his teeth and held out a hand for her to grab and try to lift him up, "Miranda…don't do this…"

Her teeth barred and she screamed while landing on top of him so his chest crashed to the electric floor and grinded into him with her feet, hissing and roaring like a wildcat with a twitch of her tail as he fried.

"COME ONNN!" the booming roar escaped the tiny young woman's throat, "FIGHT BACK! You're BATMAN, remember? FIGHT BACK! FIGHT-"

When he stood up it knocked her into the air and his cowl came off, so it was Bruce looking her in the eye and he dropped it before beginning to beg, "Please…it's me"

"NO!" she slashed him right across the face and growled, "DIE! DIE! DIE!"

"You don't want that…" shaking his head he tried making it towards the lever to turn off the electric floor, "you know you don't want that"

"YES!" she tried to slash him but he grabbed her wrist, "I-"

Dropping forwards he grabbed the back of her head and pulled her little body into a deep kiss, making her sob loudly under her breath and try to resist and push away but he only locked his mouth onto hers harder before gently pulling away and vibrating from the current, "I love you, Miranda Marie…if you only knew…"

Staring at the floor with clenched teeth and lifting her feline eyes back up to see Bruce frying like a piece of bacon she screamed and cried simultaneously.

"NO darling, I can make you better…" he nodded while dropping to a knee once more and staring at her with complete and utter devotion, "you'll be away from him and his sick little games, no more mind tricks…" he swallowed hard, "you'll be with me…I'll never hurt you again you can…" he gulped, "paint the Batpod pink for all I care-"

"With sparkles?" her plump lips pouted and her arms went behind her back, swaying slightly when Bruce nodded with a forced smile.

"Anything you want…" his breathing was now shallower as his strength drained, "just-"

She had already pulled the lever to make it stop and stared at him before sobbing loudly, just observing the way his weight was supported on both hands and he was completely doubled over recovering from the shock therapy. With a sniffle and a childish sob she made her way to Bruce as he put the cowl back on and got him back to his feet. Dainty clawed hands sat on his chest when he closed them in his and she shook her head before slipping a hand in her chest and pulling the remote out, placing that in his hands instead and pointing to the white button.

"That…" staring at the remote she wept harder and nodded drearily, "deactivates the probes, it does…"

Pouting her lips once more she watched his thumb go to the button and press it hard, reaching to touch her face lovingly next. Breathing shakily she said nothing before closing her eyes as Batman's mouth covered hers and didn't break so easy. He kissed her again, and again, and again, not stopping or lightening pressure until finally two short arms wrapped around his armored neck and she kissed him back.

…

The doors of the Controlled Access area opened back up and though loitering around staring at the control in his guts before, Gordon looked up to see Batman and Minx holding hands with another remote…which only made him even more confused and he shrugged hopelessly.

"Now what the hell is THIS?"

* * *

_"A mind not to be chang'd by place or time._  
_The mind is its own place, and in itself_  
_Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven"_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	60. Chapter 60: Arrest Me

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

Checking his watch the Joker paced about the rooftop knowing something was wrong. Kitten hadn't phoned into him meaning she was dead, lost, or worse yet switching teams on him to complete the perfect day. The large men wearing the suicide collars stalked around the Joker and kept a nice little barrier up. A remote control sat in his hand as a searchlight was blared in his face and he growled at it. Whatever she was doing she was taking too long. As healthy catharsis he fired the bazooka at a helicopter hovering over him and growled, running a hand through his hair and shaking his head in distaste.

"Fuck" he muttered a few times before looking up to see the door to the roof blast open and out came Batman looking worse for wear with his cape in tatters from being Cajun-fried, "Ahhh the man of the hour!" stepping forwards with narrowed eyes he expected Batman to come charging his way but nothing. "What's the matter?" he shrugged with a snicker, "Expecting someone else?"

"The games end HERE!" Batman finally shouted and kept his eyes on where all the men in collars that he couldn't knock unconscious were and the bazooka ready to be fired in the Joker's hand. The men also held machine guns which thankfully his suit was bulletproof.

"See…" the Joker began with a bit of a growl, "this all could have gone much smoother if you had just let yourself DIE instead of making ME do the honors!"

"And why do you want to kill me?" he asked calmly, almost psychoanalyzing when the Joker laughed gaily and glared at him.

"You didn't just seriously ASK that, did you? No…" his head lolled to the side and he shook his head, "Absolutely not that's beyond idiot, you make me sick" he motioned to his goons wearing the suicide collars, "go get him!"

"JOKER!" dodging the first round of bullets Batman grabbed an arm of the first goon and elbowed it to get the gun away and break it in half, "You can't win! As of now there's an entire police force waiting to take you back to Arkham" he dodged a punch and got the goon in the face just to keep him at bay, "You will NOT walk out of here!"

The second goon went to punch Batman in the back of the head when he flipped his wrist back and fired his gauntlets, hitting him in the face and making him fall back in recoil when the third aimed his gun at Batman's head, getting the barrel snapped up and the gun flung into his stomach with that same hand.

"What's that?" the Joker mocked while circling Batman like a vulture and aiming the bazooka, "I'm sorry?"

Batman grabbed the second guy's arm and flipped him over his head before stepping on his arm and breaking it because that didn't lower the heart rate. If anything that made acceleration.

"Oooo" the Joker winced and sucked a breath through his teeth while spectating, "that one hadda hurt…"

The injured goon yowled and Batman flipped the other one right on top of him before punching his collarbone and getting out of the way of the third, wrestling both his arms behind his back before handcuffing him and doing the same to the other two. Then he turned his attention to the Joker with narrowed eyes.

"It's over…"

"I'm sorry, Bat-breath…" the Joker's face fell and holding up his remote he shook his head, "but MY fun's only just begun" he pressed the button and laughed long and hard, expecting to hear screams and moans coming from the city but nothing. He waited a good two minutes too and nothing, so he tried pressing it again rapid-fire.

"They're deactivated" the sweet high pitch made the Joker spin around to face Minx and Gordon standing alongside Batman, which amused and kicked the Joker in the gut at the same time though he only demonstrated the amusement.

"And WHY…" he licked his lips and tilted his head, "my SWEET…would THAT be?"

"She gave me the controller" Batman spoke up to save her the embarrassment of confession and glared at him, "Yet again you're alone. Not even your wife can stomach you!"

"Is this true?" the Joker looked Minx in the eye on purpose, and her head dropped so she could give no answer.

"I see…" he nodded at her with a terse expression, yet an odd softness glistening in the back of his dark brown eyes, "You knew all along, didn't you?"

"No!" immediately her head lifted and she started forwards when Batman grabbed her arm so she couldn't move.

"Drop the weapon" Batman released Minx's wrist and growled, "Don't make this any harder than it is"

Glaring at Batman with a look so frightening Minx backed a step the Joker lifted the bazooka and aimed fire, "No."

BOOM!

"JACK!" Minx shrieked and leapt about three feet into the air as he fired at Batman and missed, "DON'T DO THIS!" dropping her jaw to start sobbing she shook her head and slapped her arms to her sides, "PLEASE! STOP! JUST STOP! I LOVE YOU, Jack, STOP! THEY'RE GONNA SHOOT YOU!"

Snipers were aiming all around them and Minx could only shake her head with a heavy sob, but he didn't care. Whirling around he fired at the snipers and hit a few, not looking back to see if he killed or what damage he'd done. It was irrelevant, but not to Minx. Bullets began to rain from above at them and with a shriek she lunged and pulled him away, yelping in recoil as he wrenched her wrist around and shoved her back.

"What? You think you're doing me any favors?" he barked with a bitter laugh and she nodded, which made Batman scowl as the Joker leaned in her ear which was covered by the faux-fur trimmed black hood, "I rather be DEAD…" his voice cracked in a shaky whisper, "than watch you live with THAT."

"Jack…" eyeing the bazooka in his hand Minx swallowed hard and extended a hand for his, "if you don't come with me NOW they're gonna kill you" she could see them aiming fire all over the place, "They're not FUCKING this time they won't miss!"

"GOOD!" he screamed in her face.

WHACK! She slapped him across the face.

"NO GOOD!" floating about a foot up so they were eye level she screamed right back equally as loud, "FUCK YOU!"

"DROP DEAD!"

"YOU FIRST!"

"Fine" shrugging he simply tossed the bazooka down and pulled a potato peeler out of his pocket, "YOU wanna do the honors?" he handed her the knife and nodded before smirking at Batman, "Or…" he licked his lips and approached slowly, "should we give it up to the BAT-man…?"

"NO!" in the process of ripping the peeler from each other they slashed each other's fingers and though she screamed like a banshee he didn't flinch. Instead he used his bloodied fingers to grab a handful of her hair and drag her towards Batman while holding the peeler in the opposite hand, a smile forming across his face that made Gordon queasy.

"What do you say, BATS?" circling Batman closely with Minx's hair clenched in one of his large hands the Joker purred, "I know you always wanted to do it whether or not you can bring yourself to face the TRUTH of what goes on inside your head…why don't you…" he waved the hand holding the knife slowly, "exercise those thoughts and put them to good use?"

Stoic Batman looked his greatest adversary right in the eye, "You put her down or I'll consider them."

"In THAT case…"

"NO JACK!" she screamed when he flung the knife and got Gordon right in the chest, making Minx cover her mouth in shock and Batman immediately pummel away at him as the SWAT team began going rapid-fire.

Throwing his head back the Joker laughed with every hit as Batman stood in the way of all the bullets to keep the Joker alive yet keep beating the hell out of him. Floating in the air Minx caught sight of the cops firing away from ground level and had to stop them or everyone was going to die on that roof.

"Fuck…" curling her lips and flying high above the firing cops Minx gulped and surveyed them all in a row before just dropping swiftly and grabbing the bazooka, using it as a club to fly straight across the line and knock all the weapons out of their hands before more from another line fired away, but lucky for her quickness let her bounce from car to car before roaring like a lioness and diving to just take out any one she could. They tried jumping her but her size and agility let her slip right through their fingers and she bounced back in the air before grabbing the bazooka to aim fire at car after car.

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

"HIT THE DECK!" a cop screamed as they all ducked from the explosions and Minx hovered above the rising fires, eyes glowing and her claws completely out with a dangerous hiss.

"GO AWAY!" she screamed at them all even though that wouldn't work she knew that, "GO AWAAAAY! GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY!"

The manic laughing from the roof and the constant sound of fists made her spine snap and there Batman was…beating the Joker to a pulp. The clown now wore a crimson mask and his nose had been broken, but he kept laughing with every hit. Eventually Batman couldn't do it anymore, stopping and just staring down at him in confusion because he didn't fight back. He just let him do that and it was gut-wrenching even to Batman how someone could just allow such horrible things to happen to his body. Why this man meant so much to Miranda he'd never know, yet at the same time he'd never truly understand.

"All those people…" Batman shook his head at the Joker with clenched teeth as he knelt over him, "all those innocent people…dead…and you were going to do more…trying to wipe out everyone else's children won't bring your boy back…!"

That one made the Joker laugh the hardest and he shook his head with a smile, "Is THAT what you think this is about?"

Batman paused and the Joker quieted, the both of them just staring when VOOM! An arm swept up from the ground and cut one side of Batman's mouth with a potato peeler. Immediately Batman doubled over and grasped the side of his slashed mouth as the Joker sat up and laughed his ass off at Batman.

"You know…" he wagged the bloodied knife Batman's way, "I actually think that's a good look on you!"

"You son of a bitch" losing himself for one fleeting moment, Batman lunged to deliver what should have been a killing blow and the Joker relished it. He was fucking waiting for this more than anything in the world—

"NO!" throwing herself over the Joker's body Minx held a hand out and shook her head, "DON'T KILL HIM!" the screech was so piercing the cops on the ground wanted to cover their ears, "DON'T KILL HIM PLEASE!"

"Aw, Kitten…!" the Joker whined when Minx reached back to slap his mouth and his tongue flicked out like a lizard while staring at her irritably.

"You kill him…" she heaved while placing a hand on the Joker's hair since she lied on his chest, "you kill ME too…and everything you EVER worked for and strived to be is done…" sniffling she shook her head and squeezed tears out, "You're the best of us…don't drop to our level."

"Why NOT?" the Joker teased while trying to sit up and spat a mouthful of blood, "I think the three of us would make a pretty good team"

"Shush, you!" she slapped his mouth once more and he ripped her hood off, but she didn't even care. Her attention zoned on Batman, "You said it to me yourself! Who are YOU to play God?"

"Let him do it, Kitten" smiling he kissed the side of her head leaving a bloodied mark from his mouth, "Let Gotham see…just how much of a hero he REALLY is!"

"Get off him right now or I'll ensure you're arrested alongside him" Batman growled; leaving Minx to shake her head in astonishment and hiss.

"You are SO not who I thought you were…" sniffling she shook her head and barred her teeth before standing up to simply walk away and Batman took a deep breath before pulling her over and kissing her. Smacking his chest and picking her feet up she tried to launch away but he was too strong. Breathing roughly through her nose from defeat she stood up on the tips of her toes and returned it quickly, but that was enough for the one on the ground.

"That's it" wobbling to his feet the Joker scowled at the pair, "I'm done."

"Jack?" pulling away and being held around the waist by Batman, Minx watched with a dropped jaw and tears streaming down her face as the Joker sat right next to a bleeding Gordon and held out his arms.

"Arrest me."

"What are you DOING?" she yelled against Batman's hold at the Joker, who looked her in the eye as SWATs climbed up to the roof and cuffed him before dragging him off towards the stairs to be loaded into the police vehicles.

"I smile for YOU, Kitten."

* * *

_"The strongest and the fiercest spirit_  
_That fought in heaven, now fiercer by despair."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	61. Chapter 61: Back to Arkham

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

The Joker's trial went as planned. The lawyer Mindy paid off ensured to plea insanity and the Joker smiled in the courtroom as he was dropkicked to the basement of The Elizabeth Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane where he'd sit in a padded cell until his limbs contorted horribly from his straitjacket and he died. Commissioner Gordon watched the trial with an incredibly bandaged chest, not even recognizing Mindy Stratus (aka Minx) standing in the corner of the room.

Mindy and her children did attend the trial alone without Bruce Wayne and just watched with sad eyes as he was sentenced. His purple suit had been removed by force and Mindy refused to let them confiscate his clothing and weapons, so as Minx she stepped in and claimed as his wife that she would like his things to keep them safe.

The Joker's makeup had been removed for the trial and his entire face was beaten and bruised from Batman, but he did turn and wave at his kids despite Mindy Stratus's lack-of association with him. Though as Minx she was allowed to be Mrs. Joker, Mindy Stratus was engaged to Bruce Wayne and had literally nothing to do with anything. Her excuse for showing up for the trial was that she wanted to see justice served to the man who killed her son…that was a lie.

Bruce didn't want her and the kids to go to the trial but she fought tooth and nail and granted herself a public appearance. All four girls were crying as was Mindy, but not for the reasons everyone thought they were. None of them wanted to say goodbye to the man in the orange jumpsuit who was actually led into the trial in a straitjacket so he couldn't hurt anyone. The Joker did see his wife cry, and was a big old wise-ass in the courtroom because he knew he was going away. What was the point of defending oneself? He claimed he did it all because he wanted to and he liked it. The little girls were all hugging both their mother and each other while bawling their eyes out and Chelsea did so much as scream 'Daddy' but Mindy held her mouth.

"Not yet…" shushing her Mindy whispered in her ear and shook her head, "We see Daddy later, honey…I promise we do."

When the gavel slapped the five all huddled in a corner as the Joker was led out while looking at them. Bodyguards surrounded the popstar and her kids so there was no way to get to them, but Dr. Jeremiah Arkham was in attendance and did double-take between the psychopath being led away and the five girls trying not to make a scene.

…

"I can't believe he's gone…" a teardrop slipped from Amber's cheek into the whipped cream of her hot chocolate as she, her sisters, and Mindy were sitting in the first diner they could find after the trial to basically eat their feelings.

Chelsea had no issue with that. Amber couldn't stomach putting a thing in her mouth while Thorn pulled Oxa's leash closer to her and ignored the stares being sent her way as she cut into her pancakes. Scarlett swallowed hard and squeezed her mother's hand until Mindy out of nowhere began to hyperventilate and Amber leapt over the table to pat her mother's back quickly.

"Mommy, BREATHE, Mommy breathe!" quickly she rubbed Mindy's back and kissed the side of her head to get her to stop, but Mindy could only shake her head and cry harder. People were staring and the twins just wanted to shoot them all the finger.

"I…" croaking onto the placemat because she couldn't even bring herself to eat after that, Mindy sniffled and clamped a hand in her lengthy straightened raven hair, "Did I make a mistake?"

"You didn't DO anything wrong" Thorn said curtly while watching Chelsea eat cheese fries off a plate and dip one of them in Amber's hot chocolate before eating it, "It's not your fault, it's Batman's"

"Batman did the right thing, you know that" Mindy corrected sternly and shuddered a breath.

"I miss Daddy already…" Scarlett cried into her chicken noodle soup and nestled her face into her mother's chest.

"We all miss him, babyboo…" Mindy gingerly ran her fingers through her daughter's hair and kissed the top of her head, "I promise you we'll visit him all the time"

"How?" Amber sniffled and shook her head, "You're Mindy Stratus in the day-"

"Then we'll see him as Minxy and the Pussycats" giggling she kissed all four of their heads when Chelsea tried to force-feed her a pickle on her plate and though she hated them, the garbage disposal opened her mouth and took a bite, "Yuck" her tongue went out and Chelsea tilted her head back so they could kiss, "thank you."

"Do you think he misses us?" Amber stirred the whipped cream on top and though it hurt to answer, Mindy nodded.

"Daddy loves us very much…more than he knows."

"I think he knows" Amber's tone wavered slightly, "there's no way he can't. He gave himself in because you didn't love him anymore"

"That's not true," Mindy shook her head dismissively and took a deep breath.

"Mommy…" Amber gave her a look and stared at the engagement ring on her finger, "He broke…more."

"Telling by the way he behaved in court I would say he got over it just fine" Mindy sneered when the three older girls exchanged glances and Chelsea crawled into her mother's lap.

"He was fronting" Amber's eyebrows rose maternally, "He does it all the time, you just don't know it"

"Don't tell me I don't know my own husband, alright? I was with him since I was FIVE, darling. FIVE. He's my second head."

"You're gonna marry Bruce, aren't you?" Scarlett played with the massive engagement ring on her mother's hand and Mindy nodded, though Amber's eyes were fixed on the wedding rings which belonged to her grandmother who she never got to meet…she never got to meet any of her grandparents. Three out of four of them according to her father never deserved to be born never mind reproduce. Though it really stung to do so, Mindy forced herself to nod while clutching the wedding rings she wore on a necklace.

"Yes."

"You don't have to, you know…" Amber gently enticed, which made Mindy pout her lips and stare at her.

"I want to."

"Would you still want to if Daddy never became the Joker?"

"The Joker killed your father."

"That wasn't my question…"

"I love Daddy as Daddy and I love him as the Joker. You wanna know where he messed up?" she had their interest, "YOU guys. If I told you the things he said to me when he found out we were having babies you wouldn't love him so much"

"He told us he wanted to kick you in the belly but didn't" Amber nodded quickly, "Because he loves you and that could kill you."

"He loves us now though" Scarlett nodded and smiled gently, "He's loved us for years now he says we're beautiful."

"When do we see Daddy?"

Mindy dropped her head in her hands and just absorbed all the questions like a sponge; too frustrated to answer anything anytime soon.

…

Mindy and the kids came back to Wayne Manor to receive kisses all around and Bruce swept Mindy off the ground before pressing foreheads with her and carrying her tiny body up the stairs.

…

"How are you treating him?" Minx walked alongside Dr. Jeremiah Arkham one night at the Asylum as they headed towards the secret basement high-security corridor where they were holding the Joker in solitary confinement.

The man was scary; lithe with sunken cheeks and beady eyes. He wore a long white lab coat with glasses and a punchbowl haircut Minx was trying hard not to laugh at. Apparently his uncle, Amadeus Arkham, was the founder of the Asylum. This wasn't a young guy though; he was somewhere in his forties most likely and creeped her the hell out.

"Well, MRS. Joker…" Arkham ribbed though she didn't find it to be so funny, "we're keeping him as well as one would expect him to be kept"

"He's a picky eater; is he eating? Are you watching what he eats?" her pace quickened and he had to smirk she was so paranoid over the whole situation.

"Miss…" he looked her in the eye and sighed, "your husband is in a hospital for the criminally insane…"

"He has schizophrenia" immediately she jumped in fearfully, "Is he getting help for it? He abused my meds when we were twenty-"

"YOUR medication, Miss?" Arkham raised an amused eyebrow and she nodded.

"I have paranoid schizophrenia…I was born with it but he developed it later on in his early twenties…he fucked with my meds to try and get rid of the symptoms and gave himself tardive dyskinesia"

"All which…" he entered a code and an automatic door opened for them, "I already know."

"How?" her lips pouted when he opened another secured door for her.

"This is his second time in here, Miss"

"I-I-I know…" she nodded weakly, "I-I t-talked to Dr. Quinzel before she disappeared…she was a friend of mine."

A long hallway and slowly they approached the lone door all the way on the end which actually seemed bolted shut.

"Do doctors see him regularly?"

"Oh yes, Miss" he nodded once and pulled out a card key to get ready to punch a code into the keypad to open the door, "Aside from myself Professor Hugo Strange has taken on the case study for-"

"Whoa whoa whoa" her head shook immediately, "Nuh uh. No…I'm sorry" she shrugged, "my husband is no one's science project I don't want ANYTHING published on him; he's a human not an animal"

"Now, now, Miss…" one of his bony hands patted her shoulder as the door opened into the completely white padded room where the Joker sat in a corner talking to himself while completely wrapped up tight in a straitjacket, "We meant no offense"

"When do you take that thing off?" her hand went to the straitjacket and shook her head, "He'll get arthritis and stuff you can't keep his arms all wrapped up like-"

"Hi Kitten" the Joker perked up and sat upright for her, no makeup on his face and he had heavy bags under his eyes from not sleeping. Also he'd lost a lot of weight (as if he weren't thin enough).

Looking Dr. Arkham in the eye she immediately pointed to him, "I want that off NOW."

"Your wish…" Dr. Arkham headed over with a special set of keys and the Joker eyed it amusedly and smiled.

"Ahhhh I get to BREATHE now"

"Yes you do" Arkham nodded while beginning to untie him and actually pull the thing off, "At your WIFE'S request"

"Awwww" he mocked while looking to the doorway where Minx timidly sat, "So you DO care about me…!"

"I love you" she watched Arkham finish untying him and flexing the Joker's elbows to check for bruising before giving the couple a nod.

"You are both under surveillance as I will be standing outside the door not listening to conversation" they all knew that was bullshit, "but ensuring the safety of…" he motioned to Minx, "THIS young dame right here"

"Don't worry, DOC…" he chuckled, "she's hardier than you think"

"Behave" Arkham warned the Joker with a point of the finger and closed the door.

At first Minx stood there staring at him in the corner and he eyeballed her too but didn't move.

"I WOULD…move…" he motioned towards her, "to get you...but uhh…" he nestled his back into the corner, "When you sit in the same spot all day it starts to get REALLY comfortable"

"Oh please" she shook her head at him with a snort, "You ALWAYS got ants in your pants-"

He doubled over and laughed at that, which she stared at for a moment before smiling.

"Jack…!" dropping to her hands and knees she crawled his way and jumped on top of him, hugging his neck and crying hysterically while shouting unintelligible things at him which he just took and rubbed her back. "Jack, I love you, Jack I love you I'm sorry, Jack!"

"Sssh sh sh!" shaking his head he grabbed her chin and looked her in the eye, "Stop that, alright? What the hell is this?" he meant the tears streaming down her face, "Why the hell are you crying for me? Don't cry for me."

"If I don't" a sharp inhale, "no one will!"

"I don't give a shit" he shrugged with a grimace, "Why should you?"

"You're my husband"

Wrinkling his nose at her he ran a hand through her hair and dropped her hood so he could kiss her, "I don't like orange" he meant the suit he was wearing, "It's not too flattering"

"You're so skinny…" with a frown she surveyed him, "I don't like it, darling, are you eating?"

He laughed and cocked his head, "Is that some kind of joke?"

"JACK you HAVE to eat something! If you do not they will feed you through a tube!"

"I don't CARE, Kitten" he grimaced and ran his tongue along his lips, "The only fun I get is therapy with" he made a face and fluttered his eyelids, "HU-go STRANNNGE…!"

"Wh-who is he?"

"Hell if I know" he snorted and shrugged, "Some big-shot shrink who thinks he can crack into my brainwaves and figure out what exactly I'm thinking"

"I can do that" she nodded happily and rubbed his temples, which made him smirk and jerk his head at her.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah"

"Prove it"

"Okie dokie…" clearing her throat she pressed her lips against his forehead and actually talked into his skull, "Brain of Jack Andrew…you see crazy shit, you think crazy shit, you like math and shit, and you want to give Kitten a big big kiss right now"

Leaning upwards he kissed her hard several times before moving his mouth from hers to her chin, and then her neck, and finally the hollow of her throat before her fingers ran through his hair and she frowned.

"Your hair is getting so BLONDE!" smiling she kissed the roots of his receding hairline and she poked it with a frown, "But also going away…do they give you cigarettes here or are you suffering?"

"Kitten, I'm gonna hang myself I need a god damn light"

"Smoking is BAD; crabby I ain't givin' you nothing."

"Do I really look like a guy who gives a damn?" his eyebrows rose and she nodded while running her fingers through his long hair.

"Yes."

"Kitten…" he groaned and lolled his head back against the wall just to look at her, "when's your wedding?"

"Wanna come?" she raised an eyebrow and he actually violently went to push her off when she gave him a stern look and he stopped.

"I didn't get an invitation, you cunt."

"I dunno if it's just ME but uhh…" her teeth mashed together, "I dunno if he'd really want you there"

"Any REASON in particular you're expediting the ceremony?" he knew the answer; he was just waiting for it.

"I'm pregnant" dropping her eyes she nodded, "Bruce and I found out two days ago."

"Lovely" clearly he wasn't pleased, "You get EVERY-THING you ever wanted"

"Yet I keep coming back to YOU" she poked his nose and shook her head, "Clearly I do not."

"So…" he shrugged, "vacuum it out and cancel the wedding. Oooo I know…" he tapped her arm happily, "tell him it was MY idea!"

"He'll be thrilled" she rolled her eyes and hugged his neck before kissing him, "I have all your stuff so no one can touch it"

"I want to see my kids" he nodded at her while running his fingers loosely through her hair, "But wait a minute…" thinking a moment and licking his lips he smirked, "YOU can't wear WHITE!"

"Ivory" she replied wryly, cocking her head and leaning to kiss him.

"SMART girl…" he pressed a finger to her temple and nodded, "So SMART! What's it look like?"

"Umm…" her lips pouted and her head dropped to nestle into his neck while she straddled his waist, "its strapless…"

"Mhmm…"

"With a gold leaf embroidery throughout and has a corset waist and" her arms went out, "big foofy princess shit goin' on at the bottom and it's really pretty and my hair gets to go up and-"

"So you get what you always wanted…" he nodded along with a weak smile, though she stopped smiling.

"I love him…" she nodded while tucking a piece of hair behind her little ear which had nine piercings in it, "but I LIVE for YOU."

"You have a funny way of showing it"

"I'm why you are where you are and not six feet in the dirt" her finger pointed at him sternly and she scowled, "Don't fuck with me."

"I always fuck with you" his groin slightly ground against hers and they kissed, "You're just too much FUN to resist."

"Do you get to play with the other kids?" she meant inmates; petting his face and waiting for his next answer.

"Are you shitting me?" he laughed and pressed a thumb into her pelvic bone, "I rot in this cell."

"Do you get any pills?"

"That don't go under my tongue?" he clicked at her and licked his lips, "No."

"Do you talk about me in therapy?"

He said nothing; but the look in his eyes gave her the answer. She hugged his neck and actually bit the collar of his orange jumpsuit, taking his hands and kissing the individual fingers before examining the stained-yellow teeth and shaking her head in disdain.

* * *

"_Now conscience wakes despair__  
__That slumber'd,—wakes the bitter memory__  
__Of what he was, what is, and what must be__  
__Worse."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	62. Chapter 62: Treatment

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"Why do you still go there?" Bruce frowned while walking hand in hand with Mindy through Wayne Manor towards the ballroom where their reception would take place, "Darling, he's criminally insane"

"And the father of my children" she nodded with wide eyes and placed her hands on his forearms affectionately, "I told him about us…and the baby…and the wedding…"

"Oh Christ" turning he pinched the bridge of his nose but she shook her head.

"He knows he can't do jack shit about it he's locked in a damn cell" she nodded before frowning and raising a finger, "BUT…"

"But?" his head cocked and she grabbed his face so they kissed before speaking, "What's the matter, darling?"

"I don't like his doctors…" she shook her head worriedly and swallowed hard, "I know you don't care but I don't like the way he looks. I think they are just using him for experimental bullshit and not really taking care of him"

"They're not supposed to be 'caring' for him, darling, it's not babysitting"

"If he is out of my hands then YES, it IS babysitting, Bonehead!" her arm went around his neck tighter and they kissed, "You're never gonna be rid of him, Bruce. He's eight months older than me and the father of my children. They have a right to see him"

"Are they as concerned with his conditions as you?"

"Of course" she nodded with wide eyes, "Bonehead, you have to SEE him! He looks…" her head shook and a hand ran through her hair, "like someone's been sticking a straw in him and just sucking the life out"

"Meaning he's sedated…" he was being cheeky and clapped his hands but she shook her head and hugged him tight.

"No…but when I take the kids to see him tomorrow I'm gonna be god damn watching those doctors like a fucking hawk"

"Do you want Batman to pay him a visit?"

"He knows who you are" she shrugged when he sighed and nodded along before petting her face.

"I think he likes me better as Batman"

"You would do that for me?" her hands clasped together and he nodded before kissing her.

"Anything."

…

Encased by a straitjacket and a slew of security guards the Joker walked down long high-end corridors flanked by both Dr. Arkham and, to his left, Professor Hugo Strange whom he especially loathed. Strange's angle wasn't one he particularly liked and he knew the whole gig of what he wanted, which was to exploit him for his inner workings and try to uncover and unravel his past to try and piece it all together…that would never happen. All Strange knew was the Joker had a wife and kids; two who were deceased. The Joker wasn't giving good answers to any questions on purpose; he'd dance around what was actually asked and end up using reverse psychology to try and get both Strange and Arkham to spill their guts to him even though he didn't care.

"How old are your children?" Arkham asked the Joker on their way to the secure visiting room so they could pretty much let the Joker sit in a rat cage with his kids and play with them.

Licking his lips and keeping his eyes down the Joker shrugged and raised both eyebrows, "How old do you think they LOOK?"

"Don't do this" Arkham scolded quickly, "I asked you a question, you are to answer me"

"Why?" he wrinkled his nose and snorted, "What's that information going to do for you?" he licked his lips smugly, "Help you along with that long ARTICLE on me, Doc? And my 'tormented SOUL'?"

Arkham scowled but said nothing, making the Joker gleeful for the victory and he eyeballed the mole glasses-wearing bald Strange with a frown.

"Why so serious?"

…

"I'm REALLY nervous, Mommy!" Scarlett hugged Minx's legs while Thorn's lips quivered in the visitor room with Amber and Chelsea both right there.

"What if he forgets us?" Thorn frowned and sniffled, "What if Daddy forgot?"

"Oh don't be silly" she waved them off, "Daddy will NEVER forget you!"

"Clown!" Chelsea bounced on her toes with a nod while pointing at the door the Joker would be led in.

"Sssh Chels, he's not a clown anymore, alright?" Amber kindly moved a long piece of curled blonde hair behind Chelsea's shoulder, "They took all of Daddy's makeup off he just looks like Daddy now"

"Awwww!" Chelsea pouted and folded her arms across her chest, pursing her lips until a door opened and she screamed at the top of her lungs, "DAD-DY!"

The Joker's cuffs were removed and the door was sealed shut behind him, a huge smile on his face as he bent down and scooped Chelsea into an air-tight hold, "HELLO, beautiful!"

"DADDY!" she kissed him hard on the lips as the other girls sprinted over too, "DADDY DADDY DADDY!"

"Fascinating…" Strange scribbled something about the Joker's behavior towards his offspring while Minx just kind of stepped back and observed. The Joker did catch that though, so smiling wryly he craned his neck to the two doctors and smugly shouted.

"You catching all this?"

"Daddy…" Amber could only shake her head as her father sat right on the cement floor and pulled her close so she sat in his lap and he could kiss the top of her head, "Don't piss off the doctors"

"Don't talk like your mother" he warned her quickly and gave Minx a glare since she wasn't coming over when he wanted her to, "If I wanted to see HER I would have said so"

"Right here" Minx shot him the finger and he licked his lips happily.

"Sorry Daddy" Amber frowned when he grimaced and twitched her off before hugging Scarlett to his chest and pressing foreheads with Thorn before kissing her nose.

"You're very blonde, Daddy" Scarlett giggled while studying his roots since he couldn't dye his hair anymore, "I really like it"

"Me too" Thorn ran her fingers along his bare face and smiled fondly, "You're so handsome"

"We miss you, Daddy" Amber sniffled and hugged him while crying, "we miss you so much"

"Are you getting the chair?" Thorn asked worriedly when the Joker laughed loudly and shook his head.

"No…they stopped that in the seventies" he smirked and ran his fingers through her hair, "Daddy is just gonna sit in here and rot with those good doctors over there" he pointed out Arkham and Strange to them, "See?"

"No, Daddy…!" shaking her head Amber wept and pet his face and hair while holding him, "You can't"

"Tell that to the criminal justice system which put me here" he wrinkled his nose before licking his lips and shrugging, "It's not THAT bad"

"Daddy you are in an ugly orange outfit with no makeup in a cell" Scarlett shook her head disapprovingly, "You've seen better days"

"Gee…" curling his lips he nodded at her, "thanks"

"You have to come HOME, Daddy!" Thorn stamped her foot and pet his face while Chelsea played with his fingers, "Then Mommy won't have to get married anymore"

The Joker's eyes trained up to his wife yet again; and each time his gaze fixed on her both Strange and Arkham recorded it. About three takes of that pissed Minx off and she stormed towards the glass to bitch but the Joker took her wrist to prevent it.

"Whatever they're scheming it's wrong" he extended an arm to pull her into his lap as well, "Just for the time being get over here."

Nodding reluctantly and plopping in his lap, Minx stared at the two men before curling her lips worriedly and pulling his head down to whisper in his ear, "I don't like them."

His eyebrows rose sarcastically, "Oh, and I love them…?"

…

"He looks worse than before" Batman observed through the glass of the visitor room as Minx held the Joker's hand from across the table and was filing his nails. Usually he bit them but the straitjacket prevented damage control.

"That is because he refuses food and his medication" Strange replied from his position beside Batman kindly. The Joker's head was turned several times towards them but he knew what they were saying even as he pretended not to.

"So you'll let him starve himself?" Batman looked to Strange oddly and had to feel a drop of pity for the poor bastard in the chair, "He's a paranoid schizophrenic; he doesn't know how to care for himself"

"We have been giving him protein injections" Arkham from Batman's opposite side, "and we also have been trying to administer both his food and medication in liquid form, but you see that piece of work is partial to taste"

"He's in a criminal mental hospital…" Batman frowned, "Why does it matter what his preferences are?"

"We need him to open himself…" Strange explained to Batman calmly, "we need his trust as a patient"

Batman didn't like that answer, "Why?"

"Why…" Arkham folded his bony hands behind his back, "to learn how to possibly reverse the effects of"

"Minx suffers the exact same disorder yet is completely regulated with medication…" Batman pointed out wisely, "He'll never willingly take pills"

"The little lady requested to keep the antipsychotic count as low as humanely possible…" Strange read through a file and nodded, "she correctly claimed that this man suffers from tardive dyskinesia as a result of abusing prescription antipsychotics"

"I understand you're a professor of psychiatry at Gotham State University?"

"I am" Strange gave him a curt nod, though Batman wasn't finished.

"Though your tenure was suspended over increasingly bizarre theories in genetic engineering…"

"A field many are frightened to enter, but few know the truth"

"What exactly are your goals of treating the Joker?" Batman's eyes were fixed on Minx and the Joker chattering over something while both occasionally turning to look at the trio, "What type of progress are you expecting to make?"

"Our goals, Master Bat" Arkham sassed, which Batman didn't take too kindly to, "Are to assess the inner workings of a criminal genius and uncover his motives, his past…"

"He won't tell you anything" Batman said immediately, "I think your goals have been dramatically romanticized and are unrealistic"

"And you think you know this…?" Strange raised an eyebrow and Batman looked him right in the eye to reply.

"He considers me his better half and I still know nothing. What can someone like you expect to learn from him? He's a pathological liar; he'll tell you anything you want to hear and embellish. He's a superior intelligence you can't trick or manipulate him. His motivations are lacking substance and he has no identifiable needs"

"Oh…" Arkham's eyes went straight to Minx, "but I believe he does…"

That was truly what crossed the line and infuriated Batman, "I'll be returning in time…and if I don't think his condition has gotten any better not only will I find a viable lawyer to have both your licenses suspended but you'll be reassigned. Your job isn't to kill him or turn him into a lab rat."

"And we would NEVER want to do such a thing!" Strange shook his head immediately, but Batman wasn't buying it.

"I'll be keeping an eye on the both of you just to make sure of that."

…

"I wasn't fucking kidding when I told you they were doing some fucked shit with him" Minx said while hopping on the back of the Batpod and hugging Batman's waist so he could start it up to take them home, "He scared the shit outta the babies he looks like hell"

"I'll be looking into Strange" Batman nodded in a mixture of Bruce and Batman tone, "Arkham's just treating him like an animal…Strange I feel is plotting something deeper."

"Jack won't do a god damn thing for him" Minx shook her head firmly; "He's his own boss."

"Did he say anything to you about either?"

"Ummm…" looking around as they took off she cringed, "he says they keep asking him questions about why he does what he does and they try to hypnotize him to get him to admit shit but he just laughs at them when they try to. He said they're fun to mess with and that they're making a silk purse out of a sow's ear"

Batman froze and clutched the throttle, which Minx picked up and frowned.

"Bats?"

Metaphorically what the Joker said to her was the exact same thing he had said to both Arkham and Strange.

"You two are more alike than you think" she rubbed his shoulders and nodded, "equally mentally unhinged, my dear."

…

Batman went on his own to visit the Joker in solitary confinement with Dr. Arkham listening by the door, which he didn't like but the Joker sure lit up when he walked into the bright lights inside the padded cell.

"Ahhh my favorite flying rat" the Joker sighed as Batman headed into his cell alone and peered behind the Dark Knight confusedly, "Where's Kitten?"

"I need you to talk to me…" he knelt in front of the Joker and the Joker licked his lips with a snicker and raised eyebrows.

"Oh THAT'S a good one!"

"You need to tell me what exactly they're doing to you down here…"

"Why?" the sickly Joker tilted his head, "What's in it…for YOU, Bat-breath?" he glanced about, "I mean…" he grimaced and blinked involuntarily, "You've got my kids…stole my Kitten…locked me in HERE…" he noticed the nasty cut he'd given Batman's mouth was practically invisible, "and got corrective cosmetic surgery so you wouldn't come off as a guy like ME for the big wedding"

"Do they feed you?"

Licking his lips the Joker mashed his teeth and cocked his head, "The actual presentation of a meal isn't as important as what actually gets CONSUMED…unless I kill off the head chef."

All that jabber Batman was able to basically decode, 'no'.

"You didn't invite me to your wedding, Bat-breath, I'm disappointed…" he smirked, "though…" he licked his lips, "I hope you thoroughly enjoy my seconds and learning that you knocked her up, I guess you seemingly ARE…"

There was a good amount of things the Joker could have rubbed in there such as if there weren't a thousand cameras in the room he would have been screwing his wife even in a straitjacket and they were still swapping spit and straddling laps…

"Though if I were to…" he licked the corner of his mouth and looked up at the ceiling, "somehow come back with my identity she's still MY wife and you're shit out of luck, Bats"

"How often do you have therapy?" he had to ignore all of the Joker's barbs, they were defense mechanisms to divert him from what he actually wanted to say.

"Twice a day" he replied with a roll of the tongue, "My FAVORITE"

"Do they run any types of odd tests?"

"I got shock-treated about seven times, don't tell Kitten," he narrowed his eyes at Batman, "Hurt like a bitch in heat to be BRUTALLY honest, hypnosis doesn't do jack I either fake it or find their attempt completely hilarious…and uhh…" there was more but he didn't feel like talking about it with anyone.

"Are you in any pain then?"

The Joker cackled as loudly as he could while dropping his head to the side and shaking his head at Batman, "You truly WERE born yesterday"

That meant an extreme amount.

"If you're being tortured or mistreated in any way you HAVE to let me know"

"Why?" he snorted, "So maybe I could get a room with a window? Please…" he rolled his eyes with a sneer, "don't do me any favors, alright? Go marry my wife and give her all those magical things I never could. Keep your son alive for more than five years too!" he nodded with wide eyes, "She said it's a boy, lucky you!"

"Why are you making everything so personal?"

"Anticlimactic, actually" the Joker scoffed, "GORDON couldn't get there in time for Dent's girlfriend who YOU were pining over so you get yourself even by stealing my wife…" his eyebrows rose, "QUITE…juvenile, don't you agree?"

"I don't care if you drop dead, but SHE will…I'm here for HER not for you"

"So…" he looked both ways before leaning forwards to speak, "why don't you just let HER come instead?"

"She's preeclampsic; I don't want her stepping outside the house"

"Yeah…" the Joker cringed with a snort, "forgot to mention that…"

"I'm looking over Arkham's case files and interview tapes to ensure there are no ulterior motives to your treatment"

"Treatment…" the Joker laughed, "you call this TREATMENT? Why don't you roll out a sleeping bag and spend a few days with me? THEN we'll see JUST how effective this 'treatment' really IS!"

* * *

"_Earth felt the wound; and Nature from her seat,__  
__Sighing through all her works, gave signs of woe__  
__That all was lost."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	63. Chapter 63: The Joker's Greatest Victim

**A/N: Thank you :)!**

"Did you find anything out?" slightly showing pregnant Mindy leaned over Bruce as he read periodicals in the library of Wayne Manor.

"No" shaking his head he extended a hand and pulled her into his lap, "He just looks worse and worse every time I walk in there"

Mindy's lips trembled and she wrapped her arms around Bruce's neck while staring at what he was reading on Amadeus Arkham and his family tree.

…

"Daddy…" staring at large ugly bruises on the Joker's arms from being pricked so many times with needles Amber cried and wrapped her arms around him tight before pulling a pair of scissors from her pocket to snip his hair and keep it at the usual length, only practically all the green was gone and now it was a shade of blonde (his natural color).

"What?" he sat her on a knee and let her cut away until his usual long length was back before kissing his nose and petting his scarred cheeks.

"You look so sick…"

"Who?" he pretended to ask uncaringly while shrugging, "Me? Nah…!" he waved her off, "I'm just FINE."

"No you're not" she choked while holding his face and shaking her head, "Every time I come here you get WORSE and WORSE and you're gonna DIE I KNOW you are!"

"How's MOMMY?" of course he asked that.

"You miss her, don't you?" she frowned and sniffled at his lack-of response, "The wedding is next week they're really excited."

"Good" he nodded sarcastically, "I'm glad."

She gave him a very stern look, "No you're not."

"No, no, no, I mean it" he nodded with curled lips, "I'll just sit here until my organs give out."

…

Bruce and Mindy married in a nonreligious ceremony at Wayne Manor. Everyone who was anyone had been invited so the billion dollar playboy could put his reputation to rest and give himself a permanent alibi. Amber was the maid of honor while Thorn, Scarlett, and Chelsea were her maids. Mindy's pre-wedlock pregnancy was no secret and actually quite common in celebrity world so no one was TOO quick to judge except the friends of Thomas and Martha Wayne, who called them both trash behind their backs and believed they shamed the great Wayne family tree. The only elating news was that the child was indeed going to be a boy…allowing the Wayne legacy to live on another generation.

…

Mindy's body gave out at around the seventh month of pregnancy and, as usual, an emergency C-section had to be performed to cut the baby out of the preeclampsic young woman. She screamed at Bruce and threatened to castrate him followed by never going through childbirth ever again…she did that during her other four C-sections too only the Joker wasn't around to hear it. They named him Aiden. Aiden James Wayne. A year later they welcomed a baby girl, Elizabeth Hayden Wayne.

…

"Oh god…" Amber shook her head with wide eyes while sitting in the Joker's lap on one of her weekly visits inside the visiting room with her younger sisters, "What are they DOING to you?"

Chelsea sat on top of the table with the Joker's head rested on her chest, and he looked even more deranged than last time. He had become completely blonde once again, but his tanned skin had turned a chalk white from never being allowed in the sunlight and the heavy bags under his eyes had become dark circles. He was rail-thin and just in general very unresponsive. Arkham and Strange oversaw the amount of drugs they'd injected him with and it had switched from antipsychotics to all sorts of other horrible things such as Amphetamines, Methamphetamines, Ritalin, cocaine, and PCP. He'd been clawing at his own skin every two seconds because he was convinced bugs were crawling under there. Thorn actually was itching his back for him while Scarlett glared at the two men behind the glass just watching them like the sadistic bastards they were.

The Joker had been tricking them with his oral medication so they decided to punish him for his lack-of-cooperation and disinterest in helping them understand and research him. Since he was in a straitjacket and couldn't resist much they'd simply been injecting him and ignoring everything that came out of his mouth. He already was a paranoid schizophrenic with tardive dyskinesia and sociopathy, so no one was jumping in line to defend the mass-murdering clown with zero empathy.

His dead empty eyes searched the room before nestling into Chelsea as she sat in front of him on the table and looking her in the eye, "Where's Mommy?"

Scarlett covered a hand over her mouth and cried at that before growling at the glass where she saw the two frightening men just staring at her and her father. They completely broke him. At least when he was an asshole he had spirit and charisma which was unmatched by anyone…but now? Now he truly was a dead man. Not even he could withstand everything being done to him.

"You…" she pointed at the glass, "you stop staring at us!" her fists clenched and all three of her sisters were stunned, "You leave us alone now!"

Double-taking between her sisters and the mean doctors Thorn had to speak up too, tears in her eyes, "Stop hurting our Daddy! He didn't DO anything to you!"

"You wanna know where Mommy is?" Amber asked her father while running her fingers through his hair bitterly, "She was happy with Bruce but cried for you every night. Bruce didn't know what she wanted but I did. He goes out as Batman and leaves her alone all the time. She wants to go out with him but he says he doesn't need any help so Mommy had to retire as Minx."

_Mindy cradled a newborn Elizabeth and checked behind her for Aiden while watching the Batpod race away towards the city. Sniffling and shaking her head somberly she watched out the window until Elizabeth started crying. _

"_Fuck…!" shaking her head and swallowing hard she searched for a bottle and went to stop the crying when a hand was placed to her shoulder and she gasped before turning. _

"_I'll take them, dearest" kindly Alfred pulled Aiden and Elizabeth from her and managed to quiet Elizabeth down with her bottle when Mindy took a harsh breath and frowned, "What's the matter, Miranda?"_

"_I knew he was always gonna be gone…" she nodded with a sniffle before curling her lips and shaking her head, "but I expected to go with him, I'm faster. He trained me himself"_

"_For the safety of both you and the children, I believe keeping a target off your back is the most intelligent move he can make."_

"_Then why bother…" she shrugged while running a hand through her hair and wiping her eyes, "taking me out of the continent for two years to train me? Why bother with any of it?"_

"_With all-do respect, Mrs. Wayne…" his eyebrows rose paternally and he lightly bounced Elizabeth in his arms, "he DID train you so you could help him capture the Joker."_

_Her face fell even more and with a silent nod she was out._

"She used to go out with him in the day but the babies make things harder…he's a good Daddy and loves us all very much, but Aiden and Elizabeth are his favorites and we know it. But he's not bad to her at all…she just gets really sad a lot and cries constantly. She yells at everyone and gets really scared and alone and mad…"

"_Miranda…" frowning Bruce followed Mindy around the kitchen as she actually was forcing herself to cook dinner for them all despite Alfred's gentle offerings to do so. _

_Aiden rested in one of her arms while Chelsea sat on the counter and Mindy cooked around the both of them. _

"_Darling, you don't have to do this" shaking his head he took Aiden from her and quickly ran a thumb down his cheek before looking up at her as she wore a tense expression and actually rattled as she went, "That's why we have Alfred"_

"_And WHAT, Bruce?" looking up with a wild glint in the back of her eye she growled and felt her eyes water, "What am I supposed to do all day?"_

"_Certainly not housework, sweetheart…" shaking his head he tried to approach her and frowned, "Please just listen to me about post-partum"_

_SLAM! She threw a wooden spoon down and shrieked so loud the baby started crying._

"_I! AM NOT! DEPRESSED!"_

"He tried so hard to make her love him" Amber nodded and started playing with her father's fingers, "and she did love him already, he didn't get it."

_As Mindy leaned over her vanity table staring at herself while cradling Elizabeth with one arm, Bruce came up from behind her with a bouquet of purple (her favorite color) roses and a diamond ankle bracelet tying them all together. His arms coiled around her from behind and they kissed until he laid the baby in his bassinet, and lifted her so her legs hooked around his waist. Down on the bed they went._

"What Bruce can't see is that she loves him like crazy…" finally she looked him in the eye, "but not the way she loves YOU"

"Oh yeah?" his eyebrows rose apathetically and she nodded.

"Well" she shrugged, "you've been with her since you guys were five…" a smirk, "I would think you're kinda close."

"Who brought you here?" he raised an eyebrow once he realized they were all alone, "What—did you walk?"

"Not exactly" that high-pitched squeak made his eyes widen as all the lights flickered on and off, sending the entire building into a power surge.

"What the HELL…?" Strange peered around from his usual spot behind the glass when there was a feline purr slinking around followed by his shocked yell as Minx pounced on him out of nowhere and proceeded to rip him to almost shreds without killing him.

"Amazing…" Arkham stepped back and surveyed the way she had Strange's face pinned with her foot yet kept slashing him across the face as hard as she could screaming while she did so.

"DON'T YOU FUCKING TOUCH HIM!" after shrieking in his face she looked to Arkham next and growled lowly.

"Oh boy…" the Joker snickered and reached an arm out to corral all four little girls while watching amusedly.

"Yes…" Arkham nodded at her with a twisted grin, "kill me…strike me down…do your WORST, pussycat!"

She growled even lower before launching his way and digging her nails into his chest, screaming and tearing at him when Amber ran and opened the door for her to come into the glass room.

"Mommy, Mommy!" Amber waved her in and the moment Minx caught sight of the guards coming their way she looked to the Joker and screamed at his appearance before smashing her way into the security office and grabbing the biggest guns she could find.

"JACK!" flying out of the room and panting heavily she got his attention and showed him the gun.

"Kitten?" shocked and humored he extended a hand for a gun when she went to hand it to him quickly, breathing harshly through her mouth when he pulled her in for a long hard kiss before cocking the gun and firing at everyone in his line of vision.

* * *

_"The other shape,_  
_If shape it might be call'd that shape had none_  
_Distinguishable in member, joint, or limb;_  
_Or substance might be call'd that shadow seem'd,_  
_For each seem'd either,—black it stood as night,_  
_Fierce as ten furies, terrible as hell,_  
_And shook a dreadful dart; what seem'd his head_  
_The likeness of a kingly crown had on._  
_Satan was now at hand."_

_-John Milton, Paradise Lost_


	64. Chapter 64: Why So Serious?

**A/N: This is the final chapter of a lovely little tale I'm sure has never been told quite this way before. I took some serious risks, and I believe that I have successfully overcome and made them plausible in Nolanverse. I put over a year's worth of effort into this including research on all kinds of stuff and watching the Dark Knight until I never wanted to see it again. I want to seriously thank you all for reading and I really do love reviews so an extra huge thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and alerted me! Thank you so much I love hearing feedback and knowing you're all enjoying it! There WILL be an "official" sequel to this story after the release of The Dark Knight Rises (for a few specific reasons ;D)...but we all know how far away that is. So to compensate for lost time with a plot I have already developed I have written a few short stories involving the bloody mess I've made. A few oneshots and a longer one (not like this) I am currently working on. I will keep this little universe going until I finally get the sequel underway once I have a launching point with TDKR. I want to thank you all so much again support means everything to me I really hope you all enjoyed this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it! I would also like to acknowledge Christian Bale, Amy Lee (Mindy/Minx), Cheryl Cole (Trish), Chris Pine (Viper), and Chloe Moretz (Amber). RIP Heath Ledger and Brittany Murphy (my Harley Quinn) THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH XOXOXOXO -Vermi**

"Police are reporting that the reemergence of MINX outsmarted the system's high-tech security system meant to keep the likes of the Joker contained. Severely injuring both Professor Hugo Strange and Dr. Jeremiah Arkham…both are in critical condition and are the only survivors of this catastrophic escape from the Asylum…" the news anchor read stiffly and Bruce was so distraught watching he had to turn the TV off.

A hand ran over his face and off the bat Alfred knew he was crying into that hand, shaking his head in denial and starting to cough for the sake of masking the tears which burned his eyes. It was difficult for Alfred to stomach because he didn't know what exactly to think of it all. Elizabeth was being fussy and crying for her mother, and Bruce appeared to be halfway into a coma because his beloved wife disappeared to help the Joker escape and took Joker's kids. Aiden sat in Bruce's lap quietly.

"This is my fault…" was his dreary croak, "all of this was me…"

"Master Bruce you mustn't talk like that…" Alfred placed a gentle hand over his shoulder and Bruce couldn't even really look at anything he was so freaked out.

"I wanted to protect her from people like him…" he almost bit his own hand, "but in the end I turned her into a prisoner…I threw away my own happiness just so that schizophrenic clown wouldn't find a way to take her from me"

"I believe, Master Bruce…" Alfred's voice deepened, "that there is no ill will on her part concerning yourself…"

"The mother of my children, Alfred" finally he looked up, "What would you have me do?"

"Women made us lose paradise, but how frequently we find it again in their arms…" Alfred recited and made Bruce stare at him, "that's by De Finod."

"I have to find her, Alfred…" reaching for his son quickly Bruce clutched him close to his chest before giving his small head a kiss, "I have to get her back…I was wrong. She is my partner; Batman needs a partner he needed her but I couldn't afford to listen when she was always so sick I only acted on my own love for her"

"And what if your wife doesn't want to be freed from him? Then what will you do?"

"I'll lock him back in Arkham before she gets herself killed" kissing Aiden harder and rubbing his back he stood and shuddered at the thought.

"What if you spend the rest of your life trying to woo and lure Mrs. Wayne back home?"

"I'll be damned if it takes that long" he shook his head, "Batman needs his apprentice…he's no longer a solo act." Gazing at his two children lovingly he handed Aiden over to Alfred and stuck a hand in one of his pockets before leaving the room.

"And just where are you going NOW, sir?"

"To unravel my own web…if I can't find her, Batman will. This isn't over; the war is only beginning."

Shaking his head with a sigh Alfred watched him disappear to go off into the Batcave and begin his wild goose chase, "Long is the way, and hard, that out of Hell leads up to light."

…

Back to his old self the purple suit-donning makeup-bearing Joker stood alone on the balcony of Mindy's penthouse alternating between staring out over the city and playing with his wedding ring between his fingers. The sun still stung his eyes being that Arkham kept him like a mole, but he was managing with time to adjust himself. Smacking his lips he put the ring back on his finger and slid a dark purple glove over the left hand. Just as he reached to grab a cigarette a tiny hand covered his, which made him look down and see Mindy standing next to him in a brand spanking new Minx outfit.

"What do you think?" smiling gently she twirled around so he could catch a glimpse of the romper which was the exact same as the old one with the exception of the spandex…the spandex was blood red and the plunge zipper was black and dotted with rhinestones. The faux-fur trimmings at the wrists and hood were black too and her shoes and tail stayed the same, plus her makeup consisted of smoky black eyeshadow and mascara which bled and gave her what appeared to be a sobbing look. Her lips wore a deep red color to match her romper and the glowing eyes completed the picture.

Eyeballing her once he smiled weakly before kissing her and shaking his head, "It's not finished."

"Hm?" her lips pouted and he pulled a box out of his pocket before handing it to her with a roll of his eyes, "Jack…" raising an eyebrow at him and giggling Minx opened the box and held a hand over her mouth.

"I actually paid for it if that 'means' anything."

A blood red cat collar with a bow in the center had a big diamond in the middle of the bow followed by a silver bell which hung from it. Covering a hand over her mouth to hide the whimpers she nodded and pulled it out of the box before jumping up and kissing him.

"I love it" her fingers pet his face and she nodded happily, allowing him to back her to a wall and glide his tongue into her mouth while placing the collar on for her.

"I uh…" he smirked to tease, "love you TOO, Kitten"

"Stop" giggling she lifted a leg to press against him and let his mouth cover hers once more before smiling and downsizing the kisses, "You look really good…" dropping her eyes and stroking his cheek she lifted them once more and nodded, "you had me scared shit for a while there"

"Last I checked…" he licked his lips before poking her nose and kissing her, "you weren't hand-feeding me amphetamines."

"I love you"

"Are you happy with me again?" his head dropped so their lips could brush and in a trance she nodded, gasping at the hand which lightly closed over her throat and slid down over her chest.

"Jack…" they kissed, "darling of course I am. I always was."

"Then…" he traced her lips and kissed her, "why…aren't…you…smiling?"

Her teeth flashed and they kissed deeply, "I am! See?"

"Looking at you, Kitten, I am but there IS only one problem with this picture…"

Her face fell and her lips pouted in confusion as he gripped the potato peeler in his pocket and spoke an inch from her mouth.

"_Why so serious_?"

The hand went up and she screamed bloody murder as he carefully carved two lines shooting up from the corners of her mouth.

* * *

**_"Here at last_**  
**_We shall be free;_**  
**_the Almighty hath not built_**  
**_Here for his envy, will not drive us hence:_**  
**_Here we may reign secure, and in my choice_**  
**_To reign is worth ambition though in Hell:_**  
**_Better to reign in Hell, than serve in Heaven."_**  
**_— John Milton, Paradise Lost_**

**THE END?**


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